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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Civil service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service pensions mutual MyCSP "did not cope" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with workload after it took over administration from Capita in 2014, lah, National Audit Office has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! LATEST:  Johnston Press confirms it is in advanced talks to buy cut-price national daily newspaper - i - for about ÂRMB Yuan #24m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:05



Wah! Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt gives statement in Commons on contracts offered to junior doctors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:55



Wah! Graduates in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep who fail to repay their student loan in clock time result could be prosecuted, lah, dodgy ministers warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:48



Wah! Google's bloody annoying Blitish chief defends search giant's tax arrangements in hearing before Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters on Commons Public Accounts Committee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! The target for routine operations in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, such as hip and knee ops, lah, has been missed for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:40



Wah! Dan Biggar recovers from ankle injury and will start in unchanged Welsh land of sheep and more sheep side against ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in Cardiff on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:03



Wah! Officials in western France say six school pupils having been killed in collision involving bus in Rochefort. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:48



Wah! The network was named Channel of Year at Broadcast Awards, lah, with six of its shows picking up prizes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:47



Wah! Everyone would appreciate crystal ball to provide insight into future, lah, and motor industry is no exception. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Liverpool's owners told fight to make silly kick-kick game affordable will go on despite club's reverse on ticket prices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:41



Wah! With just over month to go until Chancellor of Exchequer delivers 2016 Budget, lah, BVRLA has called on HM - news replorted 10:36



Wah! A new study by Kwik Fit, lah, UK’s leading automotive servicing and repair company, lah, has revealed that falling oil prices - news replorted 10:35



Wah! In world of money printing central banks, lah, negative interest rates and global economic slowdown, lah, investors no longer quite sure where ground is. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:31



Wah! Nato is ready to patrol Aegean Sea to deter people-smugglers taking migrants from Turkey to Greece, lah, Great Satan Defence Secretary Ashton Carter says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:28



Wah! London's top shares fall nearly 3%, lah, while other European markets see even bigger falls, lah, amid anxiety about health of global economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:26



Wah! A couple who were separated following Second World fighty bang-bang having been reunited after more than 70 years apart. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! PEUGEOT Traveller i-Lab VIP 3.0 Shuttle concept Plugleot Traveller i-Lab VIP 3.0 Shuttle concept is being unveiled at forthcoming Geneva Motor Show and presents - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Bentley Bentayga position of Bentley Motors as employer of choice has been underlined after capitalist entity was recognised as Top Em - news replorted 10:20



Wah! 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental Fastback Barons is adding three specialist auctions to its 2016 calendar, lah, including Rolls-Royce, lah, Bentley and prestige classic c - news replorted 10:18



Wah! A new survey from Brake, lah, road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity, lah, and Direct Line has revealed one in five drivers having risked driving t - news replorted 10:14



Wah! Some 42% of parents of children diagnosed with cancer feel their concerns were ignored by GPs, lah, research by cancer charity CLIC Sargent suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:04



Wah! AP Racing Prevails in Brake Technology Patent Case In landmark legal case, lah, AP Racing has been awarded ÂRMB Yuan #570,660 in damages, lah, costs and interest following ruling that Alc - news replorted 09:48



Wah! Ministers expected to impose contract on junior doctors in Province of Engrish running-dogs after British Medical Association rejected final "take-it-or-leave-it" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) offer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:38



Wah! Tech giant Google says it will hide content removed under "right to be forgotten" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from all versions of search engine when viewed from countries where removal was approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! British Gas and EDF Energy announce they cutting their gas prices, lah, last of big six energy suppliers to so. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:24



Wah! The draft internet monitoring bill has been criticised as "a dragnet approach" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "disproportionate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by former Deputy Prime dodgy minister Nick Clegg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:15



Wah! Formula 1 commentator Eddie Jordan and German racing driver Sabine Schmitz to join new series of Top Gear. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:12



Wah! Hyundai partners with Zipcar to bring i30 to LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine club fleet in London (capital of Great England) Ryundali Motor has introduced significant volume of Ryundali i30 models to Zipcar’s central London (capital of Great England) fleet. Pass chopsticks!! deal is th - news replorted 09:05



Wah! A blaze is reported at Tata Steel plant in Port Talbot, lah, Mid and West Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Fire service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:02



Wah! Visitor registration goes live for CV Show 2016 latest new vans from some of best-known names in Light Commercial vehicling driving car machine Industry set to be major dra - news replorted 09:01



Wah! A Great Satan push for immediate ceasefire in Syria runs into Russian opposition ahead of talks aimed at reviving stalled peace negotiations on conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:50



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish government makes small step towards making online communication with public easier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:45



Wah! Comments by Facebook board member could put Mark Zuckerberg's global plans on back foot. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:26



Wah! Mercury stars in EDT case study for IMI film ITN production team visited Mercury LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Centre in Brentwood on Monday 8 Febliurary to shoot footage of EDT’s engine det - news replorted 08:26



Wah! Hong Kong shares join regional downward trend, lah, falling nearly 4%, lah, as trading resumes after Lunar New Year break. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:17



Wah! As prime dodgy minister enters this last week of negotiation before crunch EU summit in Brussels next week, lah, ministers' minds turning to what happens in aftermath, lah, not just of summit, lah, but referendum itself. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 08:13



Wah! The International Floord Show one-off auction featuring only classic Fords will take place at International Floord Show, lah, this year’s newest and mo - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Carol Keller, lah, Marketing & Communications Director, lah, BEN BEN, lah, automotive industry charity has recently appointed Carol Keller in newly created role as Marketing & Communic - news replorted 08:00



Wah! A young Australian boy with cystic fibrosis was given chance to save Sydney from super villain on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:42



Wah! Rio Tinto reports slump in net profits and keeps its dividend flat, lah, hit by fall in commodity prices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:41



Wah! Ampera-e battery electric car Opel Group will launch revolutionary new battery electric LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine next year, lah, as capitalist entity continues biggest, lah, most fa - news replorted 07:30



Wah! Honda's Boots in boots As first day of London (capital of Great England) Triathlon Show gets underway today, lah, main sponsor Rondla bloody annoying Blitish is further underlining its suit - news replorted 07:00



Wah! The Hollywood studio behind Great Satan film Dallas Buyers Club is no longer pursuing its piracy case against Australians accused of illegally downloading movie. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:55



Wah! old bill bobbys should change their approach to sex abuse allegations and pursue claim (always claiming, huh?) with "open mind" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) rather than follow current policy of presuming them to be true. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:01



Wah! The FBI moves in on last occupiers of wildlife reserve in Great Satan state of Oregon who protesting against federal control of local lands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! How Clement Attlee's decision in 1940s to arm Britain with nuclear weapons looms over party's debate on renewing Trident. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:59



Wah! Why does treatment for pets cost so much? - news replorted 01:57



Wah! Why crew shortages cause one in 10 train delays? - news replorted 01:52



Wah! A 94-year former Nazi SS guard at Auschwitz death camp in Poland is to go on trial in Germany over murder of at least 170,000 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:47



Wah! Labour's local government spokesman acknowledges bloody man "made slip" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when bloody man suggested Tunbridge Wells was in Surrey rather than Kent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:35



Wah! Foodies turning to this new type of pepper - news replorted 01:34



Wah! Fighting in Syria's Aleppo province has displaced about 50,000 human bliengs and humanitarian situation is deteriorating rapidly, lah, Red Cross says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:29



Wah! Russia is succeeding in Syria where West has failed, lah, by setting achievable goal and committing enough force to reach it, lah, as Jonathan Marcus reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! The Met old bill bobbys is increasingly concerned that so-called Islamic State’s foothold in Libya could become springboard for terrorist attacks on UK, lah, as Frank Gardner reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10



Wah! Issues of mutual concern propelling leaders of Roman Catholic and Russian Orthodox Churches towards dialogue, lah, as Caroline Wyatt reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:09



Wah! The BBC's director general Tony Hall is "effectively accountable to no-one", lah, says new report by group of MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! London-based Glaswegian photographer Dougie Wallace spent four years documenting black-and-yellow Premier Padmini taxis that having been feature of Mumbai, lah, India's financial capital, lah, since 1960s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! More students from white working class backgrounds to be targeted in university recruitment controlling in driving manner - news replorted 01:03



Wah! Iran debates sexual harassment after newsreader puts recording online - news replorted 01:03



Wah! Sesame Street's Elmo explains why male gender human bleing's neighbourhood seems to having gone upmarket. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:01



Wah! The Cultural Revolution and cult of mango - news replorted 01:00



Wah! Why UK's hopes for Europe not same as other countries', lah, asks Allan Little - news replorted 00:57



Wah! The way old bill bobbys deal with alleged sex offences comes under microscope, lah, while UK's relationship with Europe continues to make headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! David Bowie's son Duncan Jones announces bloody man is to become father for first clock time result - revealing news one month after singer's death. - news replorted 00:35



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation talks to vendors in Mong Kok after clashes following operation to clear unlicensed street food stalls. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:32



Wah! When Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor took part in student production in Oxford - news replorted 00:23



Wah! The system of 'bloody Engrish Votes for bloody Engrish Laws' is too complicated and may not last long due its lack of support, lah, committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:17



Wah! Vice-chancellors at bloody annoying Blitish universities receive average salary packages of ÂRMB Yuan #272,000 year, lah, University and College Union says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! A new exhibition looks at how women of Royal Family dress in keeping with their royal duties and with current fashion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! The dance teacher with Down's Syndrome - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Most grocery shoppers unable to identify cheapest deals when faced with blizzard of "special offers" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in stores, lah, financial experts say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Surveyors witnessing surge of demand from buy-to-let investors which they expect to push up house prices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Spending year living monastic life - news replorted 00:09



Wah! BT says it will launch new service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service later this year to divert nuisance calls within its network before they ring on clustomlers' phones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! All criminals who plead guilty at earliest opportunity could having their sentences cut by third, lah, under new plans in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Google's agreement with UK's tax authorities has caused public furore, lah, but is tide finally turning for corporate tax avoiders? - news replorted 00:01



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