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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Italian Prime dodgy minister Matteo Renzi has warned that thousands of Africans will continue to risk their lives trying to travel to Europe unless civil fighty bang-bang ends in Libya. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:52



Wah! LATEST:  James Anderson's Province of Engrish running-dogs wicket-taking record is due reward for bowler who never stops learning, lah, says Jonathan Agnew. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 08:41



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband pays male gender human bleing's first general election campaign visit to Welsh land of sheep and more sheep and highlights male gender human bleing's party's "better plan for working families". - news replorted 08:35



Wah! Charity Missing human bliengs says it will launch service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to help missing human bliengs and their families after they re-united. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Through stories behind five iconic images, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 4 reveals how running for office at general election has changed in bloody annoying Blitish since 1945. - news replorted 08:12



Wah! Zayn Malik pays tribute to male gender human bleing's former bandmates at award ceremony, lah, where bloody man made male gender human bleing's first solo appearance since leaving One Direction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! Jeremy Clarkson says bloody man will miss hosting Top Gear, lah, in male gender human bleing's first writing from head of customler since bloody man was dropped from Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 07:53



Wah! Former Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher believes Raheem Sterling's behaviour has become unwanted distraction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:23



Wah! The former director of public prosecutions, lah, Lord Macdonald QC, lah, expresses "great regret" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that bloody man was not told of historical child abuse allegations against former Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Lord Janner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:19



Wah! At least 22 killed and 50 hurtee-hurtee in explosion in eastern Afghan city of Jalalabad, lah, officials say - news replorted 06:18



Wah! A senior rebel leader in eastern Ukraine says Minsk peace deal will fail unless Kiev recognises independence of rebel-held territory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:10



Wah! Australian old bill bobbys say they having broken up Islamic State-inspired plot to attack World fighty bang-bang One centenary event, lah, arresting five teenagers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! A group calling itself Ukrainian Insurgent Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says it was behind deaths of two anti-government figures in Kiev this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 02:39



Wah! Can big data reavealingly showing Great Satan mood of electorate? - news replorted 02:28



Wah! A Luton funny shape ball-game player who died after crashing while racing male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine raises ÂRMB Yuan #60,000 for children's charity via fundraising page bloody man set up before bloody man died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:26



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Liberal Democrats will unveil their strategy on mental health services for young human bliengs as election campaign continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:58



Wah! A coroner criticises young offenders' institution for failing to identify risk to 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, remand prisoner who hanged himself. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 01:50



Wah! President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama says Gulf nations should using their "influence" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to help resolve instability in Libya, lah, warning that military action is not enough. - news replorted 01:08



Wah! The reverberations of Bangladeshi fighty bang-bang of independence in 1971 still creating big Islamic turmoil in world’s third-most populous Muslim nation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:37



Wah! The United Arab Emirates you've probably never heard of - news replorted 00:29



Wah! How blind man and double amputee became each other’s arms and legs - news replorted 00:27



Wah! The filter bubble effect is limiting what news users of social media see about General Election - news replorted 00:25



Wah! The photographers staying loyal to traditional film cameras - news replorted 00:24



Wah! The strange afterlife of Einstein's brain - news replorted 00:22



Wah! A Great Satan court releases footage of rap mogul Marion "Suge" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Knight running over two men with male gender human bleing's pick-up truck, lah, as part of murder case against him. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! A heads' leader says would-be teachers being put off by complexity of routes into profession. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Doctors need to move beyond 'one-size-fits-all' approach to tackling obesity, lah, say scientists in Sheffield. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:01



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