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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  A number of human bliengs victims of two separate shooting incidents in area of Texan city of Austin, lah, Great Satan old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:12



Wah! LATEST:  A guarantee that pensions should rise by at least 2.5%, lah, should be dropped from 2020, lah, former pensions dodgy minister Baroness Altmann says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! Team GB diver Tom Daley speaks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about male gender human bleing's quest to win gold at 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro, lah, Brazil. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:39



Wah! As PM Theresa May delays decision on Hinkley Point, lah, what is reason and what might be effects of such move from Super-Duper-Chinese-State perspective? - news replorted 09:34



Wah! US presidential hopeful Donald Trump sparks outrage by mocking dead Muslim soldier's mother who stood silently while flemale human person's husband attacked him in speech. - news replorted 09:20



Wah! The chairman of advertising agency Saatchi and Saatchi, lah, Kevin Roberts, lah, is put on leave for saying debate on gender bias in industry is "all over". - news replorted 08:49



Wah! Race walking is certainly one of more unusual sports that you tellibly lovely custlingmer will see at next week's Rio Olympics, lah, where top athletes will reach speeds of around 10 miles hour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:47



Wah! US skydiver Luke Aikins has become first person to jump from 25,000 ft (7,620m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! without parachute, lah, landing safely in net. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:40



Wah! The cave systems at base of rock of Gibraltar having just received UNESCO world heritage status, lah, in recognition of rich insights they bring to study of Neanderthals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:29



Wah! Lynx that escaped from Dartmoor Zoo in Devon is captured after more than three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) on run.dev - news replorted 08:04



Wah! Premier League champions Leicester City suffer heavy International Champions Cup defeat by Paris St-Germain in Los Angeles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:39



Wah! An exhibition at Science Museum looks at history of computer games. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:03



Wah! American Luke Aikins becomes first person to jump from 25,000 ft (7,620m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! without parachute, lah, landing safely in net. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:55



Wah! Carl Frampton becomes Northern Ireland's first two-weight world champion by beating Leo Santa Cruz on points in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 05:05



Wah! Harry Potter fans gather at bookshops across country for release of latest instalment in series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:15



Wah! When Allan Little began to feel ill, lah, bloody man knew almost immediately what it was - Lyme Disease. What the hell I mean??!! But getting medical diagnosis - and treatment - took lot longer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:41



Wah! As Mike Lambert's daughter turns 21, lah, bloody man asks if male gender human bleing's blindness affected flemale human person's when growing up - news replorted 02:38



Wah! A new exhibition marking 300 years since birth of canal pioneer James Brindley has opened. I read you little red book! How did male gender human bleing's work transform bloody Engrish landscape and unlock new era in Industrial Revolution? - news replorted 02:33



Wah! The wreck of pleasure cruiser which sank with 31 human bliengs onboard is though to having been found after 50 years after Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:26



Wah! Reports from besieged Syrian city of Aleppo suggest that only small number of human bliengs having made using of humanitarian corridors set up to allow them to leave rebel-held areas - news replorted 02:02



Wah! Theresa May pledges to put bloody annoying Blitish at forefront of fight against modern slavery and help to rid world of "barbaric evil". - news replorted 01:43



Wah! Turkey's president wantings to close nation's military academies and directly control spy agency and military chief of staff after failed coup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 01:42



Wah! Politicians should stop using "carrot of higher graduate earnings" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to justify student debt, lah, say campaigners. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:17



Wah! Steve Huffman, lah, co-founder and chief executive of Reddit, lah, offers business advice bloody man wishes bloody man had been given before bloody man started out, lah, for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News series CEO Secrets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:39



Wah! Game of Thrones - record-breaking fantasy drama TV series - will end after its eighth season, lah, American broadcaster HBO confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34



Wah! Nominations close later in race to succeed Nigel Farage as UKIP leader, lah, with list of eligible candidates due to be announced on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:20



Wah! The IOC says three-person panel will having final say on which Russian athletes can compete at Rio Games. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Former BHS owner Sir Philip Green accuses co-chairman of parliamentary inquiry into collapse of firm of overseeing "kangaroo court". - news replorted 00:06



Wah! A clutch of celebrities having taken part in Olympics, lah, but gone on to find wider fame in different fields. Eating rice!! Can you tellibly lovely custlingmer pick out which? - news replorted 00:05



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