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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  A man is arrested after old bill bobbys launch murder investigation following discovery of man's body in Botanic Avenue in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:54



Wah! LATEST:  Falling oil prices forcing Royal Dutch Shell to cut back investment by some $15bn over next three years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:31



Wah! A search for trawler missing off Kent coast, lah, with four human bliengs on board, lah, is suspended. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Several cars crushed but no-one is hurt when tree in Southampton is brought down in high winds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:27



Wah! Political uncertainty and withdrawal of western troops having left Afghanistan's economy struggling severely. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:09



Wah! Astra Zeneca announces research programme to develop generation of medicines to treat genetic causes of many debilitating diseases. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:00



Wah! Parents will find out how their children's schools performing when results of new colour-coded ratings system revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:48



Wah! Pakistan fast bowler Mohammad Amir can return to domestic damn crazy Engrish baseball game in male gender human bleing's home country following review of male gender human bleing's five-year ban. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:46



Wah! It is 'best clock time result ever in Wales' for inventing new medicines and healthcare equipment, lah, according to one of life science industry's leading figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:41



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns more than 100 orthopaedic operations at Belfast's Musgrave Park Hospital having been cancelled partly because its beds having been used to cater for overflow of fracture patients. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:21



Wah! Serena Williams faces Maria Sharapova in Australian Open final after pair won their semi-finals in straight sets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:15



Wah! Alex's Adamou's mother Andriani is 61 years old and has dementia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:11



Wah! There no plans for any insurlince products to help human bliengs plan ahead for their care needs in old age, lah, leading firms tell BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Scientists tracking Ebola outbreak in Guinea say virus has mutated and they investigating if it could become more contagious. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:55



Wah! EU Bloody foreign dodgy ministers due to meet in Brussels to discuss imposing further sanctions on Russia amid upsurge in fighting in Ukraine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:16



Wah! Nintendo's operating profit grew nearly 50% in last quarter but it was not enough to keep game-maker from slashing its full year target. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:53



Wah! A former nuclear scientist in Great Satan is jailed for five years for trying to pass nuclear bomb-making secrets to Venezuela. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:33



Wah! Could companies welcome delays in bloody annoying Blitish fracking? - news replorted 02:45



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation editor Jawad Iqbal - news replorted 02:28



Wah! Four months after inauguration of new president, lah, Afghanistan is still without government and could face zero growth in 2015. - news replorted 02:25



Wah! Apps let parents spy on their kids - news replorted 02:19



Wah! The triumph of Syriza in Greece could lead to renewed tensions - and widespread political change - across Europe, lah, says Mark Mardell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 02:15



Wah! The new banks you tellibly lovely custlingmer cannot speak to - news replorted 02:02



Wah! Meet Rae Morris, lah, pop star who wantinged to be waitress - news replorted 01:54



Wah! Will UK's iconic gas holders be missed? - news replorted 01:46



Wah! New app gives blind human bliengs help to see - news replorted 01:45



Wah! The art of 'maskirovka' - how Russia keeps enemies guessing - news replorted 01:39



Wah! Is China bringing Tibetan Buddhism in from cold? - news replorted 01:35



Wah! The Department for International Development has been accused of "unacceptably poor" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) oversight of UK-funded development agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:29



Wah! Japan says it is investigating purported new voice recording of hostage Kenji Goto, lah, who is being held by Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:20



Wah! South Korean tech giant Samsung Electronics reported its first annual earnings decline in three years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04



Wah! The number of women being sent to prison should be halved, lah, says Justice dodgy minister Simon Hughes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! Scores of Province of Engrish running-dogs's top private schools expecting to be at bottom of secondary school league tables, lah, following confusion over IGCSEs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:41



Wah! Nearly 2,500 women in bloody annoying Blitish would benefit from fertility technique to make babies from three people, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! Sydney cafe siege hostage Katrina Dawson was killed by ricocheting old bill bobbys bullets, lah, inquest confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:39



Wah! Satisfaction with NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) has "risen significantly", lah, according to analysis of influential British Social Attitudes survey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:39



Wah! Fifteen medical organisations having jointly called for radical action to improve levels of physical activity in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:27



Wah! A "Home Rule Bill for ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) would be introduced within first 100 days of Labour government, lah, according to party's leader. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:24



Wah! A range of new tech ideas for UK's old bill bobbys forces, lah, including facial recognition, lah, has been demonstrated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! London's Natural History Museum is re-modelling its entrance, lah, moving out famous Diplodocus skeleton and moving in bones of blue whale. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:15



Wah! Top Argentine prosecutor Alberto Nisman, lah, who died in unexplained circumstances, lah, borrowed gun because bloody man feared for male gender human bleing's security, lah, colleague says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Real Madrid set to rename Bernabeu as part of sponsorship deal with UAE-based petroleum investment company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:02



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