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LATEST: Legislation binding contracts between dairy farmers and milk processors must be drawn up if voluntary code of practice fails, lah, say MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:55
LATEST: An inquiry into future of devolution is inviting public to having its say at first of series of drop-in sessions taking place across Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:45
The underwater prowess of penguin may having cost bird its ability to fly, lah, scientists believe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:25
old bill bobbys investigate 10 human bliengs over allegations of sex abuse at residential school after claim (always claiming, huh?) ex-MP Sir Cyril Smith abused boys there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:24
The organisers of World old bill bobbys and Fire Games confirm number of athletes who having signed up to take part so far is almost 50% below 10,000 target. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:17
Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove says its clock time result for Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Welsh land of sheep and more sheep and Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers to go their separate ways on GCSEs and A-levels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:13
Papers claim (always claiming, huh?) prime dodgy minister is facing 'humiliation' in Commons - news replorted 05:35
The government's same-sex marriage bill will receive its third and final Commons reading later after surviving resistance from Conservative opponents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:03
A Super-Duper-Chinese-State fishing crew seized by unidentified North Koreans two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) ago is freed along with their boat, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:00
A baby was left deaf and blind because trainee midwife did not recognise signs of jaundice within days of male gender human bleing's birth, lah, health trust admits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:31
Guatemalan former military leader Efrain Rios Montt has male gender human bleing's conviction for genocide overturned by constitutional court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:18
The Great Satan and Super-Duper-Chinese-State presidents, lah, Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama and Xi Jinping, lah, announce they will hold their first summit in California in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:11
Scientists having used plant samples collected in 19th Century to identify pathogen that caused Irish potato famine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:05
The human bliengs who trade garlic for ice cream - news replorted 04:00
The songs readers most enjoy when they feeling low - news replorted 03:57
A local reporter tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about destruction in Moore after tornado. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:49
Will Gompertz on problem of 'iconic' art - news replorted 03:48
How does your as really velly special customer's silly kick-kick game club's attendances match up? - news replorted 03:41
The family of woman murdered by flemale human person's ex-partner call for public inquiry into how complaints of domestic violence handled by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:31
How does religion change what it believes? - news replorted 03:22
A scheme to help unemployed find work appears to be failing most disadvantaged jobseekers, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters on Work and Pensions Committee say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:14
Bolivia passes law which could allow President Evo Morales to be elected for third time, lah, despite claim (always claiming, huh?) that it is unconstitutional. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:00
Digs shed light on one of world's oldest civilisations - news replorted 02:43
A think tank report argues that 18% of public spending on schools could be cut without damaging standards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:42
An advisory group for Labour calls for tougher line on teaching standards in further education colleges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:32
Senior White House aides were informed last month of inquiry into Great Satan tax agency's targeting of conservative political groups, lah, official says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:25
How shake-up in Egypt is being felt far from Cairo - news replorted 02:19
A chief inspector of GPs is to be appointed as part of push to improve services outside of hospitals, lah, dodgy ministers set to announce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:58
Sharing bed with your as really velly special customer's newborn baby increases risk of cot death fivefold, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32
The lives of hospital patients who put on drip being placed at risk by poor attention by staff to intravenous fluid care, lah, experts warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:57
The policies of past and present Westminster governments having held back ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, Holyrood's SNP administration claim (always claiming, huh?) in economic rice-paper officialing doumentlation on independence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:36
Why Bloody foreign comedians love British comedy business - news replorted 00:34
The European Parliament is to meet to debate ways to tackle tax evasion, lah, as EU aims to stem huge flow of funds lost to member states. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:30
Will Microsoft's new games machine win console war? - news replorted 00:28
Middle East editor Jeremy Bowen explores what might happen if Iran continues with its nuclear programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:28
A vaccine to protect sheep and cattle from livestock virus spread by midges has been approved by government vets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08
The new Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation inflation calculator works out your as really velly special customer's household's rate - news replorted 00:03
Land Rover in partnership with Royal Geographical Society (with IBG) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is proud to announce award of sixth con - news replorted 00:01
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