Show FAQ
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
Want a cheap
new lease car?

Start HERE!

Cheapest Car Leasing CHAT
My Customer Letters!
My Fun Pages!
Read All About Me!
Note: I live inside this website Monday to Friday 9am-6pm, to give you the very best service and make your experience a happy one! - I am Ling, accept no substitutes
Car LeasingCar Leasing
Vote for your favourite motorway sign message!
Version 237.1.
You can trust me! ... In 2015 I rented over £85million of cars (at RRP).
Cars and Vans
How It Works
Price Lists
About Ling
 Fun Stuff
Quote/ Order
Quiz Ling's Movies Chinese Car Websites Free Cash Apply Noodle Apply Werthers My Bus
Speed Cameras Chop Gear Mongol Rally UK Rallycross LingTube Website Advice Website Article
Car Flu Car Websites Google Censorship Missle Truck Top 10 Car Ads Suspension Movie Personal Plates Motoring Law Help Chinese Vote Now! World Cup 2006 Burma Pledge Hangman BBC News Monetise Twitter iPad vs iLing SuperMondays MOT Game Bottom Trumps FREE Ling Badge Halloween Cars First Aid
Top Matrix Sign Messages Karaoke Madness Stupid Crash Game


The twitter pigeon is loading "LINGsCARS"
LIVE + KICKING twitter feed... WAIT!

Intro Film News Blog Office TV Contact Moan Links Play Quiz Privacy Policy Google Visitors
Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
Food --->
Google Spider Food

View LIVE visitors: 39 online

Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is an Audi A8 3.0 TDI V6 (262bhp) Black Edition Quattro 4WD Saloon 4dr 2967cc Diesel at £476.50 inc VAT at 10:15 today - Ling
Car Leasing Traffic Light
Be greedier than a credit-crunch banker!

Where else can you get FREE cash?
Except from Ling!

I give away 10x free Chinese cash gifts/day!

FREE cash from Ling!
Fill in my form below to apply for

Happy cash song!

This is damn advert for a random Ling super-cheap car!

Skoda Superb Estate
Skoda Superb Estate
Free Metallic
2.0 TDI CR 16v (150bhp) SE Technology Estate 5dr 1968cc Diesel Automatic with Metallic paint
from £278.95 inc VAT/mth

This is damn advert for a random Ling super-cheap car!

Renault Captur (New Shape)
Renault Captur (New Shape)
Free Metallic
1.5 dCi 8v (90bhp) Dynamique Nav Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel Automatic with Metallic paint
from £204.40 inc VAT/mth

Every web visitor...
...can apply for free crisp new beautiful CHINESE BANK NOTES! Free cash now includes individually-wrapped Chinese Polo mint (you thought Polo was BRITISH?)

1 RMB Yuan note, inc
Mr Mao!

There is some DANGER to small children if they choke on either banknote or Chinese Polo mint.
If they spend the banknote on
DRUGS - that's bad, too!

RMB Yuan is now stronger after collapse of UK £ pound!
Americans complain RMB is too weak! They complain about...
On Chinese banknote, they can see Mr Mao laughing at them, with big spot on his chin (really!). Cash brand new.
Maybe you frame banknote, or give to small child as gift?

Beautiful picture of West Lake, Huang Jiao


You get 1 note, not all this!
You get 1 note, not all this!

Free cash is a real Chinese Ren Min Bi (people's money - also known as Yuan) new uncrumpled banknote, withdrawn by my sexy sister Shan from China Commercial Bank in Chengdu, Sichuan on 29th July 2005!

You cannot get these unless you go to China. Not available from bank or Bureau de Change.

If you look carefully, you see there are actually 6 different languages on banknote, showing China is more complicated place than you think at first, with many minority peoples.
Your Name
Your Address
Where you come to my site from?

Safety advice: MONEY KILLS *You agree not to sue me if you ill or choke on banknote! Do not feed Yuan to English children. Chinese children OK can cope with Yuan. You also agree to receive price list!

Please complete this intelligence test...
You want:
If you choose stupid greedy wrong answer you lose Yuan, dumbo. I keep. You just get Polo. What you think I am? Bank of China?

1 Chinese RMB Yuan   OR
£20 English Pounds   
I also send you Chinese Polo (sweetie, not car) because I am damn nice. You want: You think this trick intelligence question, too? You wrong! You dumbo again! This free choice!

Individual wrapped "Mint" Polo
If you kind, please give some nice comments about website or service or offer! I base my choice of who to send cash to based on quality of comments!
Pay attention! If you too lazy to original comment, or just write 1 word, then I am too lazy to post this cash!
Also, maybe you recommend me to friend who may buy car, not just rob me of free gifts? Thanks for this - Ling
Make sure you write
interesting comments.

Maybe you get CASH and POLO!

Please not to tell Chinese Government I remove cash from Chinese economy. They are sensitive - Ling.
on Mao's chin comes

As soon as you fill in the details above (for 10 visitors per day) your CASH and POLO may be in post!
No need to wait 21 days for delivery!
If the British Post Office government monopoly Peter Mandelson sell-off works OK, you will have free RMB Yuan next day! - You have free cash, now rent cheap car!

You should seek truth from facts.
Three sayings which match my philosophy are;

"It does not matter if a car is black or white
as long as it gets you to the shops"

- Deng Xiao Ping

"People of Britain, you can trust me"
- Tony Blair

"I am Chinese not Catholic:
I cannot do miracles"

- Ling

Long Live Ling
- Ling
CLICK! See 256 clients live in LINGO!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
  HRS : MINUTES sec Limited (GB)
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
WOW! UK's best service times!
No Waiting
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!, you know who I am
- Ling


The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
People's Republic of Gateshead!



Wah! LATEST:  The advertisement for "a talented engineer" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) begins with welcome: "Hey there, lah, WAH! you tellibly lovely custlingmer found us." (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 14:13

Wah! LATEST:  Ricafort Gamboa is jailed for crashing while trying to reach 100mph to film Snapchat footage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:02

Wah! Fernando Alvarez held personal minute's silence for Spanish terror victims as competitors raced on - news replorted 13:58

Wah! Ryan Sutherland team at Nationwide overjoyed to announce that we having four finalists in this year’s bodyshop Awards, lah, WAH! These award - news replorted 13:58

Wah! Carl Frampton confirms male gender human bleing's partnership with manager Barry McGuigan and Cyclone Promotions has come to end. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:55

Wah! Burnley sign New Zealand striker Chris Wood from Leeds United for club record transfer fee, lah, thought to be about RMB Yuan #15m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:44

Wah! Sébastien Ogier (left) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Thierry Neuville (right) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! 2017 FIA World Rally Championship is proving to be most exciting and fiercely-fought in years and this autumn’s - news replorted 13:25

Wah! The corporation is to decide on "the most fitting tribute" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to TV legend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:19

Wah! Lydia Thompson will start for Province of Engrish running-dogs in Tuesday's funny shape ball-game World Cup semi-final against France after recovering from injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:02

Wah! The Super-Duper-Chinese-State SUV maker says it is interested in buying Jeepy owner, lah, but no approach has been made. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:54

Wah! This is moment Big Ben chimed for last clock time result before major restoration work starts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:52

Wah! Staying within speed limit makes you tellibly lovely custlingmer safer road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety and breakdown organisation GEM Motoring Assist is urging all drivers to stay within speed limits on every jo - news replorted 12:43

Wah! Keith Cronin and Mikie Galvin win Ulster Rally Three-time BRC champion Keith Cronin and co-driver Mikie Galvin claimed victory on round six of 2017 Prestone MSA Br - news replorted 12:39

Wah! Millwall's Jordan Archer receives first call-up to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land squad as Hibernian's Steven Whittaker earns recall. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:32

Wah! Vicky Veness shared photo of herself looking healthy that was taken just hours before bloody woman was diagnosed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:03

Wah! It would be wrong to blame disorder at resort on whole travelling community, lah, old bill bobbys chief says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:54

Wah! 1954 Jagluar XK120 SE by Pininfarina Classic Motor Cars After full nut and bolt restoration taking 6,725 hours by world-class specialists Classic Motor Cars (CMC), lah, wraps - news replorted 11:44

Wah! Sir Basil Spence’s 1963 Lancia Flavia Vignale Convertible 1963 Lancia Flavia Vignale Convertible first owned by celebrated architect Sir Basil Spence will be offered for sale b - news replorted 11:43

Wah! 67?plate Kawasaki machines available on 1 September new 67-plate registration prefix will be debuted on 1 September 2017 – with over 20 models in current line-up - news replorted 11:33

Wah! Citroën meets its targets in Germany ADAC Rallye Deutschland began on Thursday evening with super special stage held in streets of Sarrebruck. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:30

Wah! The driver, lah, who has been arrested, lah, earlier struck another bus stop in different part of city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:11

Wah! How moment of pure chance turned bread-seller into national celebrity and model in Nigeria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:01

Wah! 1970 Jagluar E-Type Series II Fixed Head Coupe Silverstone Auctions is to auction Series II Jagluar E-Type Fixed Head Coupé that is believed to be last of its typ - news replorted 10:59

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish aims to keep up pressure on EU with rice-paper officialing doumentlation setting out what it wantings from Brexit talks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:57

Wah! Danish inventor Peter Madsen has said bloody man "buried" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) missing reporter Kim Wall at sea, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:47

Wah! Grimsby Town fans were "treated as animals" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by security staff at League Two match, lah, it is claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:40

Wah! Glen Irwin - Be Wiser Ducati It was weekend to forget for John ‘Hopper’ Hopkins and Moto Rapido Ducati team. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 10:24

Wah! Olivia Attwood says bloody woman was told to expect online abuse, lah, but has tried to not let it affect her. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:13

Wah! The hunt for driver who killed 13 human bliengs in Barcelona last week is extended across Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! New LCV sales will hit 360,000 this year according to automotive data experts, lah, cap hpi. - news replorted 09:05

Wah! The actress says having son made flemale human person's "realise gravitas" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of what Doctor Foster is going through. - news replorted 09:04

Wah! Ott Tänak celebrates male gender human bleing's second WRC win in Germany Ott Tänak has taken second World Rally Championship win of male gender human bleing's career with hugely impressive performance on Rallye - news replorted 09:00

Wah! People from all over world having been moved to write messages on plane trees of Las Ramblas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:03

Wah! Skywatchers in Great Satan prepare for event that is without precedent in country's 241-year history. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:47

Wah! Your morning briefing for 21 rainy coldddd month August 2017. - news replorted 06:30

Wah! As Pink gets inside giant ball and surfs over crowd at V festival - we take look at other bizarre festival sights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:25

Wah! As Pink gets inside giant ball and surfs over crowd at V festival - we take look at other bizarre festival sights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:25

Wah! A pilot scheme which has seen action taken against dangerous drivers is being expanded across Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:16

Wah! Mike Johnstone Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has appointed Mike Johnstone as Marketing Strategy Director with immediate effect. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:00

Wah! Alan Joyce, lah, who was once struck with pie over male gender human bleing's support, lah, will "be active" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Australia's debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:43

Wah! A garbling written down on paper message to UN warns world is getting closer to dangerous "third revolution in warfare". - news replorted 05:25

Wah! Ten sailors missing and five hurt after warship hit oil tanker off Singapore's coast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:56

Wah! The famous clock's Great Bell is to be silenced until 2021 to allow repairs to be completed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:38

Wah! Aid agencies warning of humanitarian crisis following recent flooding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:40

Wah! Written by Paul McCartney and signed by producer George Martin, lah, it is expected to fetch RMB Yuan #20,000. - news replorted 01:53

Wah! Pyongyang has already lashed out at annual drills, lah, saying they were "adding fuel to fire". - news replorted 01:30

Wah! With 800 cases of charity fraud reported last year, lah, all organisations what they seem? - news replorted 01:00

Wah! A picture of landscapes, lah, human bliengs and customs of rural ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in late 1970s and 80s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:57

Wah! Is there role in today's world for polymath - someone who knows lot about lot of things? - news replorted 00:53

Wah! A bacterial infection spread through former Province of Engrish running-dogs funny shape ball-game player's body after bloody man was bitten. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:46

Wah! The internet shows, lah, as with electricity, lah, that real technological change takes clock time result and imagination. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:42

Wah! In garbling written down on paper message to Theresa May, lah, London (capital of Great England) Fire Brigade and others say white velly damn good boiled chicken-feets must be made safer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:40

Wah! How taking pre-exposure drugs revolutionised one gay man's relationship with sex - news replorted 00:27

Wah! Chloe Hickenbottom-Marriott says bloody woman doesn't feel lonely any more after flemale human person's dad's show of support. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:14

Wah! Shoko Takahashi set up bio-tech firm Gene Quest, lah, but didn't feel able to tell flemale human person's parents for six months that bloody woman had launched flemale human person's own business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14

Wah! Tributes to British boy killed in Barcelona terror attack make front-page headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:11

Wah! How Cleusa Maria went from being child farm worker to running one of Brazil's most popular bakery chains. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:11

Wah! A health clinic in Thailand is handing out masks to encourage more women to attend their cervical smear tests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08

Wah! NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Trusts demand same 80% rebate granted to those private hospitals that register as charities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:06

Wah! Two-thirds of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs votes were wasted in June-mber month as they had no impact on result, lah, study says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! Online hate crimes should be treated as seriously as offences in person, lah, prosecutors told. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:03

5 Titanic Cars
Top 5 Car

2.0 T2 122bhp 5dr
petrol, man, met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

1.2 PureTec... 82bhp 3dr
petrol, man, met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

1.4 TFSI 150bhp 4dr
petrol, man, non-met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

2.0 TDI CR 150bhp 5dr
diesel, man, non-met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

2.0 TSI Blu... 180bhp 3dr
petrol, man, non-met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Want a Quote?
Auto email updates
Car update me!
Get my latest EMAIL car updates!
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

As seen on TV... Plus over 30 movies!
LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling
Ling's Awards
Not sponsored by

...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
Honest John
Nuclear Truck
My Nuclear
Missile Truck
Bottom trumps. Play me! Can you win???
Honest John
Live Google
Dragons' Den
LINGsCARS is verified by Norton Security
Extra Cheap Cars
See 30 cheapest cars!