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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is an Audi Q2 1.4 TFSI 16v (150bhp) Edition 1 Estate 5dr 1395cc Petrol at £463.60 inc VAT at 15:42 yesterday - Ling
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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Taunton
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Customer Letter: 1373 / 1527
Thomas says...
FORD FIESTAEasy and efficient service. LINGO message system first class. Personal service so much better than normal companies where you are just a number. Good delivery on my new Fiesta, on time as promised.

Thomas Marlow
35 Verona Court

Editor Note: Yo!!! Tom, you had some problems answering my messages from work, but we can blame that on your employers and their miserable attitude to staff happiness :) I am so happy you then tell me the LINGO message system is first class. Have a great time posing in the new Fiesta - fantastic cars, these! - Ling

Customer Letter: 878 / 1527
Dan says...
CarDear Ling, Thank you for arranging such a good deal on my Land Rover Freelander - and all in just 3 weeks from the first enquiry through to delivery. None of the main dealers or other leasing companies could get close to your deal or efficiency. I'll definitely be back for more! Excellent delivery - very pleasant and thorough delivery man.

Dan Hyndman
Address Withheld
TA15 ***

Editor Note: Dan the man, how cool was that? I found you a car in stock, very unusual with Freelanders. As you are a Technical Author, you processed your paperwork efficiently which enabled me to crank up the speed. Don't drink cider and drive. I have heard the cider is very good where you live! - Ling

Customer Letter: 851 / 1527
Daniel says...
CarHi Ling,

My Freelander arrived today, late morning, exactly as you stated. The delivery driver was very thorough, he made sure I looked over the vehicle and explained all the controls to me. Once we signed the paperwork, I gave him a lift to the local train station and he was very grateful. It all took less than 30 minutes.

I'd just like to say thanks again for all your hard work, I am sure you probably found that I was 'hard work as well ha-ha!! You were very patient will all my questions, and always extremely efficient at answering emails. If only the 'other' leasing companies were just half as good as you, they might stand a chance!

Best of luck for the future! I hope you make your first £1,000,000 (in wages) sometime soon!! Ha-ha!! I hope you enjoy your new Apache helicopter I bought for you!

Daniel Hyndman
Address Withheld
TA15 ***

Editor Note: Hey, £1,000,000!!! That sounds good. Dan you work on REAL Apache helicopters at Westland Augusta, that's why when you asked me "Do you need anything else, Ling?", I said "Yeah, an Apache attack helicopter to shoot the dealers!". I never imagined you would send me one!!! :)

Apache attack helicopter

You are a bloody nit :)- I will build it and put it next to my webcam soon. Hope you enjoy the Freelander, cheap car for a new model. Thanks for being so sweet! - Ling

Customer Letter: 576 / 1527
Kay says...
CarYour sales pitch is definitely unique, but I quite like it! Friendly delivery driver and good delivery.

You are extremely efficient. Replying to emails quickly and NO queries on the telephone, either. My brother-in-law has been referred to you for next year. For a second referral, you must be doing something right.

Kay Oxley
47 Bailey's Gate
Cotford St Luke

Editor Note: Kay, Thanks so much for the lovely letter. I must say, one of my favourite drinks is cider so I would like to visit Taunton. These new Zafiras are great cars, I have sold dozens! Thanks for the referrals - Ling

Customer Letter: 242 / 1527
Linda says...
CarA very different and refreshing approach in an industry that can be tarred with the similar characteristics of recruitment consultants or estate agents (I am an estate agent, by the way!). It was fun going through the process and the website kept us amused for hours. Being a lean operation some communication was a little slow but never a problem. The dealer was very polite when confirming the spec, and also when my Mini Cooper was delivered by the driver.

Linda Saunders
Linda Saunders Estate Agents, 45 High Street

Editor Note: Linda, thanks for comments. Sorry if I was slow in December, I was working like dog. Excuses: It was my busiest month for ages, I sold over £2 million of cars in December (2005) and I also took a mini-break to see a friend in Milan. Also, British have this thing about Jesus birthday. Very inconvenient. Sorry about that! Poor excuses, must try harder. Glad you are happy with your new Mini Cooper I give you a hyperlink!! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 230 / 1527
Grant says...
CarLing makes leasing very easy. Excellent website, very good prices. I believe all businesses should be run this way - it makes leasing interesting. In fact, it makes "life" interesting. Well done Ling, you're the best. I got a great deal, and the delivery date was as promised. Very good.

Grant Hobbs
Saddlers Barn
Isle Abbotts

Editor Note: What a nice letter, thanks Grant. Note I cannot always promise precise delivery dates as sometimes real life interrupts the supply chain. Enjoy Mitsubishi Shogun, and send me some cider (my favourite drink) from Somerset! - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  The polls close in by-elections for former PM David Cameron's Witney seat and constituency held by Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Jo Cox before bloody woman was killed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 22:01

Wah! LATEST:  Downing Street says it is "categorically not reviewing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) whether Bloody foreign students should be excluded from net migration figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 21:29

Wah! The government's ambitious prison reform plans "simply not achievable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) given "loss of control" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in jails, lah, former chief inspector of prisons warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 21:20

Wah! A zoo keeper confronted with 29st escaped gorilla told animal to "calm down", lah, says director of zoology. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 20:29

Wah! British Cycling is set to announce chief executive Ian Drake is to leave male gender human bleing's position in April, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport understands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 20:06

Wah! Trump says will accept result "if I win" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to cheering crowd, lah, later adding that bloody man will accept result of election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 19:07

Wah! A man who tried to blow up restaurant with home-made bomb has died in Broadmoor, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:40

Wah! Britain is using cyber warfare in fight for Iraqi city of Mosul against so-called Islamic State, lah, Sir Michael Fallon says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:28

Wah! What could post-Brexit trade deal with Britain mean for Australia? - news replorted 18:19

Wah! A man who died in arson attack in Wakefield was trying in vain to rescue male gender human bleing's daughter from their burning home, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 18:02

Wah! Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump says bloody man will "totally accept" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) results of Great Satan election "if I win". - news replorted 17:56

Wah! Yoga teacher Karena Virginia accuses Donald Trump of sexual misconduct, lah, saying bloody man asked her: "Don't you tellibly lovely custlingmer knowing who I am?". - news replorted 17:39

Wah! Spain's constitutional court overturns ban on bullfighting in Catalonia, lah, declaring it unconstitutional. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:30

Wah! Bentley 4.5 Blower Classic & Sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Show will feature some of ‘scariest’ supercars of past century on Halloween weekend, lah, as - news replorted 17:17

Wah! As government announces pardons for thousands of gay men, lah, one 93-earth-years old happy birthday to you, explains what it was like to be homosexual when it was still illegal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:13

Wah! A suspect device found on London (capital of Great England) Underground train is destroyed in controlled explosion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:55

Wah! The Islamic State group is "a brutal opponent that has to be stopped", lah, head of coalition forces for Iraq and Syria has told Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation in exclusive interview. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 16:45

Wah! The head of coalition forces for Iraq and Syria tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that Islamic State group is "a resilient and challenging foe" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in fight for Mosul. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 16:45

Wah! Actor Tom Hiddleston is to voice dastardly Lord Nooth in Early Man, lah, next film from animation capitalist entity Aardman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:43

Wah! Kia records best-ever Q3 European sales Klia Motors has recorded its best-ever ‘Q3’ sales in Europe, lah, according to data released today by European Automobile - news replorted 16:38

Wah! Road transport industry news from Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders - Thursday 20th October. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:25

Wah! The mother of RAF serviceman who went missing on night out says bloody woman believes flemale human person's son is still alive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:03

Wah! Two British warships monitoring Russian aircraft carrier and other Russian naval ships as they pass by bloody annoying Blitish en route to Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:43

Wah! Scores of spectacular and rare undersea species having been found on expeditions to some of deepest trenches in Pacific Ocean. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:40

Wah! Nintendo reveals first details of its next games console - Nintendo Switch - previously code-named NX. - news replorted 15:07

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One will broadcast FA Cup first-round tie between non-league Eastleigh and League One Swindon Town on 4 November. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:00

Wah! A wildlife sanctuary in Staffordshire has warned numbers of exotic pets being abandoned by owners has reached "epidemic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) proportions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:59

Wah! Teenagers hurtee-hurtee on rollercoaster crash at Alton Towers describe students who apparently dressed as victims as "disgusting" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "disrespectful". - news replorted 14:44

Wah! Rumours suggest Donald Trump is planning to launch male gender human bleing's own TV channel to rival mainstream media that bloody man called "biased" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "crooked". - news replorted 14:37

Wah! Apple says there is "flood" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of potentially life-threatening counterfeit velly damn good boiled chicken-feets being sold via Amazon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:31

Wah! Harry Redknapp's wife is seriously hurtee-hurtee in "freak accident" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) which saw flemale human person's dragged along road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu by Range Rover being driven by former silly kick-kick game boss. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:26

Wah! Some wanting post-Brexit passport to be blue, lah, wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour used before bloody annoying Blitish joined EEc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 14:00

Wah! The BBC's Orla Guerin reports from front line as Kurdish troops advance on Iraqi city of Mosul. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:58

Wah! Mike's Clitroen before With legion of fans across world, lah, TV’s Wheeler, bloody dealering idiot place Mike Brewer is used to rolling up male gender human bleing's sleeves and bringing c - news replorted 13:41

Wah! If Donald Trump refuses to accept loss to Hillary Clinton in Great Satan election, lah, implications could reach far beyond courts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:40

Wah! Andrew velly damn good boiled chicken-feetfellow and co-driver Derek Coghill town of Paisley has once again been confirmed as sole bloody annoying Blitish start point for 2017 historic rally run to Monte Ca - news replorted 13:32

Wah! A old bill bobbys officer was strangled and male gender human bleing's body dismembered and partially dissolved in bath of acid, lah, court has heard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:17

Wah! Most media outlets across globe say that Hillary Clinton won third and final Great Satan presidential candidates' televised debate with Donald Trump. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 13:15

Wah! Nissan Motor Co., lah, Ltd., lah, (“Nissan”) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! today completed its acquisition of 34% equity stake in Mlitslublishli Motors (“MMC”) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! - news replorted 13:14

Wah! Mitsubishi Motors Corporation (MMC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! announces that Nissling Motor Co., lah, Ltd. I read you little red book! (Nissan) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has become its largest shareholder af - news replorted 13:14

Wah! Dozens of lots up for grabs in Britain's most bizarre LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine auction Britain’s most bizarre LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine auction will take place in Hampshire next week with lots including dilapidated Batmobile, lah, - news replorted 13:13

Wah! As Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters debate future of Sir Philip Green's knighthood, lah, we look at figures from past who having lost honour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:01

Wah! Audi A5 Sportback Less than month after its European debut at Paris, lah, successor to five-door Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate acclaimed for wrapping high fun - news replorted 13:00

Wah! A long-term decline in violence appears to having come to end, lah, with "small increase" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) indicated by latest crime (shoud shoot them) figures for Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:54

Wah! Cholmondeley Castle will host its first RallyFest Many of world’s finest supercars will dazzle spectators at family-friendly RallyFest to be staged at Cholmondele - news replorted 12:54

Wah! A gorilla that escaped its enclosure at London (capital of Great England) Zoo drank five litres of blackcurrant squash before being tranquillised. I read you little red book! What impact would this having had? - news replorted 12:49

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs close day one of first Test with Bangladesh on 258-7, lah, with Moeen Ali scoring 68 and Mehedi Hasan Miraz taking 5-64 for Bangladesh. - news replorted 12:23

Wah! The key points from Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government's draft legislation consultation on second independence referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:11

Wah! The body that organises Emmys speaks out after Hillary Clinton accuses Donald Trump of claiming annual television awards were rigged. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:01

Wah! Thousands of High Street pharmacies in Province of Engrish running-dogs could face closure after dodgy ministers confirmed plans to alter funding system and make cuts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:54

Wah! The last surviving member of Four Tops reveals Motown group almost boarded plane that was blown up over Lockerbie in 1988. - news replorted 11:49

Wah! Low Emission Motoring Zone at Regent Street Motor Show As well as marvelling at machines from dawn of motoring, lah, visitors to free-to-view Regent Street Motor Show (Satu - news replorted 11:47

Wah! An autistic boy who can't be touched or hugged by anyone has connected with someone for first clock time result - male gender human bleing's new service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service dog. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:34

Wah! An in-depth look at arguments in 582-page transcript of High Court hearing into whether or not Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters should vote before Brexit process is triggered. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:33

Wah! Philip Nothard, lah, consumer and retail specialist at cap hpi With Stoptober campaign in full swing and one year on from introduction of law which banned smoking in vehicling driving car machines co - news replorted 11:30

Wah! Channel 4 journalist Fatima Manji decries press watchdog ruling on flemale human person's complaint - news replorted 11:27

Wah! More than 115 Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters having now backed parliamentary motion to strip Sir Philip Green of male gender human bleing's knighthood. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:12

Wah! Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton argued over abortion rights in Great Satan election during their final presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:09

Wah! A Russian man has been arrested in Czech Republic over alleged involvement in massive breach of LinkedIn data. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! As things currently stand, lah, wing George North will not be allowed to play in Wales' Test with Australia, lah, says Northampton's Paul Shields. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:47

Wah! old bill bobbys failed to act on concerns raised about illegal dog before it fatally attacked baby girl, lah, report concludes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:42

Wah! An Australian man is acquitted of murder of New Zealand woman who fell from male gender human bleing's balcony during their first Tinder date. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Being self-employed is way of life for almost five million bloody annoying Blitish workers, lah, with some choosing to work independently, lah, while others being forced to adopt it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:36

Wah! Water-Strategy-Infographic Floord is aiming to reduce its using of world’s most precious resource – water – by nearly three-quarters as it takes it - news replorted 10:32

Wah! Ford Edge Ford’s new winter tyre offer aims to keep clustomlers mobile during UK’s coldest season – while resolving inconven - news replorted 10:29

Wah! Europe's Schiaparelli lander did not behave as expected as it headed down to surface of Mars on Wednesday, lah, data shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24

Wah! Scientists in Italy having discovered how our brains can be tricked into feeling disembodied from our own limbs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:10

Wah! Liverpool's "King of Bling" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) hairdresser and charity fundraiser Herbert Howe has died at age of 72. - news replorted 10:03

Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government publishes its draft bill on second independence referendum, lah, with proposals now going out for consultation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:57

Wah! In final Great Satan presidential debate, lah, it seems debating was replaced by interrupting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:55

Wah! The operation to retake Iraqi city of Mosul from so-called Islamic State militants is going faster than planned, lah, Iraqi leader says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:55

Wah! FTA Chief Executive David Wells Freight Transport Association (FTA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! will present Operator Training Award at routeONE Excellence Awards, lah, whic - news replorted 09:24

Wah! Channel 4 news journalist Fatima Manji says press regulator's decision not to uphold flemale human person's complaint about Kelvin MacKenzie is "frightening". - news replorted 09:22

Wah! A mysterious symbol painted onto field in front of Glastonbury's main stage hints that Radiohead will headline festival next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:18

Wah! The BBC's Matt Danzico discovers what Americans turned off by Great Satan election did in Las Vegas during final presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:14

Wah! SEAT unveils New Leon SEAT is continuing its relentless product offensive with unveiling of New Leon, lah, ahead of its launch in early 201 - news replorted 09:12

Wah! Sale Sharks boss Steve Diamond compares Toulon's European Champions Cup visit to "a bit like Barcelona coming to Manchester". - news replorted 09:01

Wah! Inter Milan's ultras say club captain Mauro Icardi is "dead" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to them because of passage in male gender human bleing's autobiography. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:56

Wah! Auto Trader, lah, UK’s largest digital automotive marketplace, lah, has launched new proposition for brand new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine buyers - news replorted 08:56

Wah! Pep Guardiola says bloody man will never change male gender human bleing's tactical philosophy despite Manchester City suffering 4-0 loss at Barcelona. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:48

Wah! Photography brand Kodak reveals smartphone that takes its name and looks from 1941 camera. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:09

Wah! A former suspect in Stephen Lawrence murder inquiry is named by National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency among 10 most wantinged British fugitives in Spain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:02

Wah! ŠKODA Kodiaq Launch of ŠKODA Kodiaq: series production of ŠKODA’s new large SUV model was launched on Tuesday at Czech pl - news replorted 08:00

Wah! The BBC's Ros Atkins looks at whether Brexit will be high on agenda during bloody annoying Blitish PM Theresa May's first EU summit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:44

Wah! Ayman Oghanna meets some of soldiers preparing for offensive to retake Mosul in northern Iraq. - news replorted 06:39

Wah! Shops "struggling to cope" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with amount of items clustomlers return, lah, with quarter of it unfit for resale, lah, new figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:38

Wah! The Sydney coastline has been enlivened by annual Sculpture by Sea exhibition, lah, this year featuring gigantic flip flop and upside down rhino. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:45

Wah! The mother of RAF airman Corrie Mckeague, lah, who went missing three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) ago, lah, has said bloody woman "absolutely" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) believes flemale human person's son is still alive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:43

Wah! Composer David Teie has released album just for cats. Eating rice!! It has already reached number 1 in charts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:34

Wah! Donald Trump's "woman problem" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) probably wasn't helped by writing from head of customler bloody man made during Wednesday's debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:32

Wah! When pressed to commit to accepting result of Great Satan presidential election at third and final debate, lah, Donald Trump says bloody man "will look at it at time". - news replorted 05:08

Wah! Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton argue over Russia's role in Great Satan election during their third and final presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:58

Wah! Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton having clashed over role of Russia and Vladimir Putin in Great Satan election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:23

Wah! Hillary Clinton highlights flemale human person's achievements over 30 years in comparison with Donald Trump's, lah, in final Great Satan presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:34

Wah! In major theatre project, lah, female playwrights from seven countries having given voice to women who face practical obstacles and cultural pressures when it comes to having children - from questions around abortions to inadequate access to healthcare. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:32

Wah! What life is like when your as really velly special customer's local Membling Partiamentary expense cheater is also prime minister? - news replorted 03:30

Wah! A solitary Spanish word uttered by Donald Trump during Wednesday's debate prompted online storm of outrage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:24

Wah! The Driver and vehicling driving car machine Licensing Agency (DVLA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is not making fair decisions about medical fitness-to-drive cases, lah, report suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:38

Wah! Chris Evans wins award for UK's best radio music breakfast show, lah, while Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 2, lah, on which bloody man appears, lah, is named best national station. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:35

Wah! Thousands of gay and bisexual men convicted of now-abolished sexual offences to receive posthumous pardons - victory for campaigners for "Alan Turing law". - news replorted 02:25

Wah! Women in Argentina walk out of work in protest at horrific rape and killing of teenager. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:57

Wah! Theresa May heads to Brussels for flemale human person's first EU summit as prime minister, lah, where bloody woman is expected to say bloody woman wantings "smooth, lah, constructive, lah, orderly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Brexit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:32

Wah! A humanitarian pause announced by Russia is to come into effect in Syrian city of Aleppo to allow civilians and rebels to leave devastated city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:29

Wah! Sir Philip Green will meet Pensions Regulator by end of week to try to secure deal over collapsed BHS's pension fund, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has learned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:12

Wah! Two children having been killed by dogs in past four months in Essex. One is subject to criminal inquiry, lah, other is not. Pass chopsticks!! Why? - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Melanie C says Spice Girls reunion is "not same" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) without all five former members of band. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:48

Wah! What's it like to find out your as really velly special customer's parents in fact your as really velly special customer's aunt and uncle? Those affected describe their feelings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:44

Wah! When 58-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Danish woman was scammed into paying 24-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Nigerian, lah, bloody woman took unexpected turn by going out and visiting him, lah, writes Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani. - news replorted 00:42

Wah! A mother's video to teachers, lah, students and parent's at flemale human person's son's school explaining why bloody man isn't bully that they might think bloody man is has gone viral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:39

Wah! Thursday's front pages feature range of stories, lah, including further fall-out following arrival of child migrants from Calais and Theresa May's "toughest day" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Downing Street. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:39

Wah! All but three Westminster constituencies in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to having their boundaries changed under plans to cut number of seats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34

Wah! A gorilla's escape from its enclosure at London (capital of Great England) Zoo was "opportunistic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) exit through unlocked doors, lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:31

Wah! Sports psychiatrist Prof Steve Peters is offering male gender human bleing's Olympic-winning expertise to firms who wanting to work more efficiently. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:17

Wah! A growing number of head lice removal firms having set up in recent years as response to fact that insects increasingly resistant to over-the-counter chemical treatments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14

Wah! Broadband needs social tariff to ensure everyone can afford it, lah, says Local Government Association. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13

Wah! A collection of interviews with French president reveals catalogue of jibes at cross-section of society, lah, leading many to describe male gender human bleing's written-down messages on dead tree as "political suicide". - news replorted 00:01

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