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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1530 / 1528
Stephen says...
VOLVO XC90Ling and her team were good to work with, even if a little 'loco' at times! I was pleased that the whole process was pain-free and uncomplicated. LingsCars did “just what it said on the box” and I liked the informal way of doing business. I will go back to them next time, for certain. My XC90 arrived on time. Dealer gave full overview of car details.

Stephen Lansley
Hammonds Heath Road
Mortimer Common

Editor Note: We, here in Acapulco (or Gateshead) we tend to be a bit "loco". :) It is the air. ... Happy you are 100% hapy, Stephen, and as you are a European Marketing Manager I appreciate your comments. Go enjoy the big 4x4, snow will come soon :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1528 / 1528
Sarah says...
FORD FIESTAExcellent service, everything was very easy and straightforward. Also the best price on a Fiesta. Lots of people didn't believe how little I am paying. Dealer Service – Excellent – Excellent service, very friendly delivery.

Sarah Coupe
Dialogue PR Consultancy
72 Woodward Close
RG41 5UU

Editor Note: Yes, you got a really cheap car, Sarah. Glad you loved the service. You are a PR consultancy, so start shouting about me, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1490 / 1528
Nick says...
 Ling you are the "NUTTS" Don't sell out to the Big Gunn's when they come knocking! Cos you know they will.

Excellent dealer service on delivery of my new Astra.

Nick Brace
Longshot Lane Mot
Unit 7
Longshot Lane
RG12 1RL

Editor Note: Are you sure there are 2 "T"s in NUTTS, Nick? Hmmmm, well, we had a brilliant fun time arranging the Astra, it is great to have customers who enjoy a laugh. I pass on regards to dealer. Thanks for nuttty comments, hahahaha. Nit. Bloody lunatic customers, where do they all come from???? Hehe. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1480 / 1528
Elizabeth says...
FORD FIESTALingsCars is a unique service – efficient, reliable, but fun to deal with. There is an evident focus on customer care. In my experience the proposed delivery was cut by two weeks for my convenience. This was only possible because of the hard work of the staff at Ling's company. Many, many thanks – I love my car. Excellent delivery, prompt, friendly and straight forward.

Elizabeth Moden
1 Green Croft
RG40 1QE

Editor Note: Yes, we pulled out the stops for you, not always possible I must say. There is a limit to what I can do, unless the cars are physical in the UK when the paperwork is done. Glad you are happy bunny, Liz. Nice cars, these new Fiestas! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1454 / 1528
Maureen says...
MERCEDES A-CLASSLing and Co were excellent throughout. I cannot believe I requested a Mercedes A-Class and it was all done so quickly and without any problems from start to delivery. I am over the moon with my A-Class and would recommend Ling to everyone who wants to lease a car. Great job A*. Excellent dealer- very good service.

Maureen Klein
3 Bonhomie Court
Broadcommon Road
RG10 0TD

Editor Note: Super duper, Mo. You are a mobile hairdresser, so I hope you don't get your car full of hair clippings. Notice you got a black one to hide the hairs :) Thanks for comments, it was lovely to deal with you. Mercedes-Benz treat me badly with their pressure and tactics, but every Mercedes customer I deliver a car to is very happy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1424 / 1528
Claire says...
FORD FIESTACar took a long long time to arrive, but I was very pleased with it when it eventually arrived! Very impressed with communication from Ling and her team throughout. They kept me informed of progress and always answered my questions very quickly. Will use again! Thanks. Good delivery, my Fiesta arrived safe and sound.

Claire Spencer
93 Gloucester Road
RG14 5JJ

Editor Note: Claire, well, massive backlogs at the Ford factories at the time you got your car. It did take a long time to be built, sorry about that. But good things come, in the end :) These Titanium Fiestas are just great! Glad you liked the LINGO. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1382 / 1528
Ann says...
NISSAN QASHQAIEverything has been fantastic. Great service. Thank you Ling.

Ann Feast
11 Geoffreyson Road

Editor Note: That's all I need to know, Ann. A simple letter like this makes me very happy. Have a great time in the new Nissan Qashqai. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1296 / 1528
Karen says...
 I would just like to say how easy everything was. What a great way to get a car. The service was brilliant and the Renault Koleos deal terrific. I particularly liked dealing with it all online. Ling was really great and truly professional. Excellent delivery, the Koleos arrived in good order just when Ling said it would.

Karen Rolfe
18 Moat Close
RG26 5AD

Editor Note: Brilliant! This Koleos was really cheap, so you have a bargain on your drive now :) Thanks for saying how good the LINGO system is, and that you enjoyed getting it, Karen. Lovely. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1277 / 1528
Sean says...
HONDA CIVICHi Ling! Leasing a car from your website has been a very entertaining process!!

The site is brilliant; wacky but brilliant. Updates were prompt, I felt like you were giving me 100% of your time, when in reality you have lots of customers to look after. The Honda Civic is great and I look forward to leasing from you again in 3-years! I have recommended you to all my friends. Excellent delivery, my Civic was delivered promptly.

Sean Moore
6 Squarefield Gardens
RG27 9QH

Editor Note: Super duper, Sean. The Honda Civics are so cheap and British built! I would expect you to be happy, it is hard to beat the car and the deal. I have 200 customers in process, but I aim to give very personal service - I'm so pleased you like it. See you soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1237 / 1528
Paul says...
BMW 3-SERIES SALOONLINGsCARS made the process of arranging my new company car fun and the LINGO system kept me up to date with the status of my BMW application at all times. Good delivery, prompt as promised.

Paul Stevens
Av Consortium Limited Trading As Forward Vision Solutions
156 London Road
RG10 9HJ

Editor Note: Wow, I haven't done many BMWs this year, but I found you a great deal on your new 3-series, Paul. Go and have some fun in it, I hope you have a great 3-years at the wheel. Nice cars, I had a BMW 3-series, 2-years ago and enjoyed it immensely. Great to help you out. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1141 / 1528
Anish says...
 Very pleased with the fast, efficient service. My new Audi A4 came with everything as ordered. Simple and easy to follow communication. Would use Ling again. Would recommend again. Good delivery from the Audi dealer - polite, fast and reliable.

Anish Patel
3 Marefield

Editor Note: Anish, you are happy with your new A4. I am so pleased. You are a dentist so you are used to pain, but hopefully you found my service painless :) Talk to you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1115 / 1528
Geoff says...
NISSAN X-TRAILThanks for the Nissan X-Trail Ling. Hassle free car rental! Good delivery. Look forward to doing it all again in 2 years.

Geoff Hughes
Yew Tree Cottage
Swallowfield Road
Arborfield Cross

Editor Note: Geoff, thanks. As you work for Microsoft, I have decided to issue with an X-Trail Service Pack which will fix a few of the faults on this vehicle, but will introduce new ones. The X-Trail will need to be validated and will prompt for this every week. It may crash. Hope you enjoy the car :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1090 / 1528
Kenneth says...
carFrom the start to finish it has been a delight to deal with LINGsCARS. Ling provides personal and attentive service and delivers the cars on time and at the agreed price. All very refreshing in this day and age. Excellent delivery of my new Audi A6 Avant. Personal, efficient and attentive.

Kenneth Culley
Coombesbury Farm Cottage
RG20 8DE

Editor Note: Ken, you are retired ex-Chief Executive of a building society. So, I really appreciate what you have to say. Also, this Audi supplier is top-class. When a top financier chooses my service and finance product, I know I must be doing something right. Pay attention everyone reading this, Ken didn't get a loan, he rented the car! Rent depreciating assets. Thanks so much for being brilliant customer and look forward to future biz! - Ling

Customer Letter: 972 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarFrom the start to the finish Ling was superb. It was my first time leasing and Ling took me through the whole process. I couldn't be happier with the car and I have recommended Ling to friends, family and colleagues. Excellent delivery, delivered a day early. Fantastic!

Andrew Wall
address withheld
RG12 ***

Editor Note: A day early is good, that is pretty on-time, I think. These Germans are usually punctual :) Glad you are happy with the Audi A3 and hope to see you again in 2-years, Andrew! - Ling

Customer Letter: 939 / 1528
Jonathan says...
CarLing. Thanks for all your help, your personal attention to details is great and something so often missing these days. Especially with larger firms. I had one minor problem with my Nissan X Trail (the supplier's fault, not yours) yet you did everything to put it right. Thanks again.

Jonathan Sperrin
28 Morecambe Avenue

Editor Note: Yes. The dealer messed up on the rear parking sensors. We are getting them sorted. I am so pleased you were happy with my service and it was lovely to deal with you. Your comments are very special, as you are a senior Management Consultant at a major company and you know what you are talking about! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 875 / 1528
Danny says...
CarThe seaweed was rank, the service was great. I was kept informed the whole time. Good delivery of our new VW Golf.

Danny Lockett
Experia Technologies Ltd
91 Lightsfield
RG23 7BY

Editor Note: Danny, short letter, short car, short reply: Thanks. I give you hyperlink for your web hosting and technology business. Experia provide advanced web solutions and communications for the corporate and private sector. I will just add that I sent you some delicious Chinese seaweed :) It is bloody healthy!!! Healthy things are always awful taste. Enjoy! - Ling

Customer Letter: 869 / 1528
Louise says...
CarLing provided a great, fast, informative service. Reliable information and a lot of help for a new leasee like me! the Grande Punto is great and does its job well. I will recommend Ling to anyone looking to lease instead of buy a car. Thanks again for your help. Good delivery; the car arrived on time, but the driver was in a rush to get away.

Louise Orage
23 Marefield

Editor Note: Ooooops, I will have a word with the delivery company and ask them to spend more time detailing the controls etc, thanks for that info, Louise. I'm happy that you are pleased with my service and hope you enjoy the Fiat. Thanks for your opinions - appreciated! - Ling

Customer Letter: 852 / 1528
Haroon says...
CarExcellent service all round. Very efficient and painless quotation and ordering process from Ling and the team.

Best price, and the car arrived quicker than I expected, to my exact specification. I really like my Lexus IS and the main supplying dealer was excellent. Excellent, excellent, excellent. I shall definitely be using you in the future.

Haroon Khawaja
Vanilla 360 Ltd
48 Station Road
Henley on Thames

Editor Note: Whoa! As a successful web-business owner (Vanilla "360 Service" comprises a range of professional services that have been designed to take away technology headaches), I appreciate your comments. I'm glad I could provide you with a fantastic service, Haroon. Aren't these IS Lexus just great? See you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 837 / 1528
Louise says...
CarThank you for putting up with all my requests. Getting the car took a little longer than I thought it would, but it was worth the wait. Your continued support has been much appreciated. Thank you, I will recommend and use you again.

Louise Holmes
56 Bruton Way
Forest Park
RG12 0GJ

Editor Note: Louise, well, some cars just can't be magicked up. If there isn't one, there isn't one. Skoda are not the fastest at delivery, but I'm glad you like the Octavia Estate. I do my best to help, so no need for thanks for the support, it's standard :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 732 / 1528
Paul says...
CarHi Ling,

You made the task of arranging a contract hire vehicle very easy and painless. The car was delivered when you said it would be and I am happily driving around in my new car. My friends are envious about the car I drive as you have really helped me maximize my budget. I have no doubt we will work together again when the time comes to change vehicles and I am already looking forward to what options I will have when this time comes.

Thanks again

Paul Godwin
1 Cowper Way
RG30 3EA

Editor Note: Paul, thanks for the letter, these SAAB Sportswagons are brilliant value. Glad you thought the process was easy. I always try to give the best deal for your budget :) Go and drive, enjoy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 728 / 1528
Lee says...
CarI love my new Grande Punto! It's great. I wash it every Sunday and I love the new car smell!

Ling was really helpful and she responded really quickly to my emails. I am pleased I chose LINGsCARS and I was very impressed with the service. The delivery driver got a speeding ticket. Bad delivery driver!

Lee Earle
13 Bracken Bank
RG24 8TQ

Editor Note: Ooooops, well, he paid it and had the points, not you, Lee :) Glad you love your car, everyone thinks those new Grande Puntos are terrific. Don't wash it too much, you know what they say about Fiats and water, and it has to last 3-years. Enjoy!! - Ling

Customer Letter: 613 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarLing, I would like to thank you an extraordinary buying experience! Prior to contacting LINGsCARS, I had emailed 4 other leasing companies with none of them even having the courtesy of replying by email or phone. Even my local Audi garage never bothered to call me as promised.

Your constant updates and almost immediate responses to emails was incredible.

It is time for a revolution in the UK motor industry. Having previously bought many new cars from useless BMW and Mercedes dealers, all having limited product knowledge, nonexistent updates and a 'take it or leave it' attitude, I am never going to buy new car that way again.

From a financial point of view, leasing also stacks up with phenomenal depreciation hitting when you trade a cash-bought car in - I lost over £10,000 in 7 months on a ML320CDi, the equivalent of almost 18 months of lease payments on my Audi Q7 3.0 TDI Quattro SE from you.

You also get forced (when buying cash) to buy the 'must have' options such as overpriced SatNav (right, £1,500 from Audi!!! - Ling), alloy wheels etc, otherwise you will be unable to even trade it in next time. Your own advice on options is spot on - you never get your money back. With leasing, you can choose what options you want, not what options will make it saleable once you want to trade it in. You can also order a silly colour if you want to and not worry about it when the lease expires!

I suppose the only way the new car dealers can afford all the posh new showrooms is to provide no discount at time of purchase, stupid 'below-book' trade-ins and to employ order takers rather than sales people - oh, and rob you when you need a service, with oil being charged at liquid gold rates. I will be taking the Q7 to an independent Audi dealer for its service as allowed in the lease agreement. All that is left to do it find a way of providing an easy and competitive trade-in service for 'first time leasers' (done!!! - Ling) and you will have it cracked.

Good luck and Best Regards,

Andrew Davies
Nod Cottage
Mud Lane
RG27 0QS

Editor Note: Well, what a comprehensive letter! You are a star for writing that, Andrew. You capture so many points that I try to get across but can't write on paper (or web) as well as you. Thanks for taking this time and trouble. I hope you have a great time in your bloody PanzerTankWagon Q7 :) Those are really cool cars, eh? Since your comments about the part-exchange idea, I have taken on a brilliant company who will buy part exchange cars (from my customers)... releasing wads of cash! Thanks, Andrew! Great idea. - Ling

Customer Letter: 550 / 1528
Ian says...
CarLing, not only are you funny, intelligent and beautiful (WAH!!!! YOU ARE ON DRUGS! - Ling); do I get discount next time? (NO - Ling) ...but you also supply extremely cheap new cars. What more could a man ask for? Your husband is one lucky guy.

If you are reading this and ummming or errring whether or not to go ahead and rent a new car from Ling, then errr and ummm no longer and just do it. You will not be disappointed. Just one word of advice though - Ling possesses a nuclear missile and will know where you live. I now live in permanent fear and get scared when I hear a plane in the garden.

Delivery of my Citroen C2 was good - very friendly and helpful. Now, where's my free lunch???

Ian White
47 Bay Road
RG12 2NS

Editor Note: Ahem, if I fired my missile at you, you would not hear it coming, Ian! Hehehe. You are quite mad as everyone can see from your letter. Free lunch is in the post. Also, if you think I am beautiful, free spectacles are in post, too. See below:

rocket - Ling

Customer Letter: 368 / 1528
Geoff says...
 "Ling, my new Zafira is very good. Delivery went well. I just wish I'd found out about you years ago. I would have saved a fortune! Will recommend you whenever I can."

Geoff Green
Cambridge Leisure Hire
14 Bridle Path

Editor Note: Glad you are happy, Geoff. Only problem with new Vauxhall Zafira (a good car) is the terrible TV adverts with those stupid adult kids, plus Vauxhall's image. Vauxhall can never get TV adverts right. And do you realise that their "Griffin" (probably delicious boiled to a soup) is looking BACKWARDS, over its shoulder? Hmmm, says a lot about GM, huh? - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  Who will you tellibly lovely custlingmer vote for to be this year's Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sports Personality of Year? More on 12 contenders on shortlist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 19:23

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Wah! The best bits from world heavyweight champion Tyson Fury's bizarre news conference in Bolton, lah, including incredible rant from male gender human bleing's father. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 18:03

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Wah! Former New Zealand damn crazy Engrish baseball game captain Chris Cairns is found not guilty of lying under oath during 2012 libel case. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! Phone-maker Blackberry is to stop operating in Pakistan at end of 2015 because of government requests to monitor clustomler data. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:31

Wah! Ferrari N.V. (NYSE: RACE) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! (“Ferrari”) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! announced today that it has entered into €2.5 billion syndicated loan facility w - news replorted 11:31

Wah! The High Court in Belfast rules abortion legislation in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is in breach of human rights laws - news replorted 11:30

Wah! 2016 Porsche Carrera Cup GB calendar unveiled 2016 Porsche Carrera Cup GB Championship calendar has been confirmed and includes incredible opportunity to race - news replorted 11:30

Wah! Royal Automobile Club announces contenders for Torrens Trophy Each year Royal Automobile Club awards series of historic trophies and medals to individuals and organisations, lah, ce - news replorted 11:28

Wah! Honda toasts spoils of its success Rondla celebrated season of sparkling success in 2015 Dunlop MSA British Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship on Saturday eveni - news replorted 10:54

Wah! Honda Civic Rondla bloody annoying Blitish has today announced price rise for its LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine range. What the hell I mean??!! Coming into effect from 1st Jesus-baby month Decemblinger for HR-V and from - news replorted 10:53

Wah! A UN conference aimed at agreeing new global approach to climate change has opened in Paris with world leaders due to speak. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Jean Todt to deliver annual Watkins Lecture at Autosport International FIA President, lah, Jean Todt, lah, will deliver Motorsport Safety Fund’s prestigious Watkins Lecture on Friday 15 January, lah, 20 - news replorted 10:44

Wah! Brookes Building Applications now being accepted by Oxford Brookes University for innovative new degree programme which has been d - news replorted 10:41

Wah! Prince Charles told world leaders to "think of your as really velly special customer's grandchildren, lah, same as I think of mine" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 10:34

Wah! Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is set to meet male gender human bleing's shadow cabinet before deciding whether to allow party's Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters free vote on issue of air strikes in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:24

Wah! Cyber Monday is expected to add to one of busiest weekends for online shopping, lah, following Black Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:23

Wah! Leaders from 147 nations addressing UN conference in Paris, lah, aimed at agreeing new global approach to climate change. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:17

Wah! Audi R18 celebrates world premiere in Munich brand with four rings will be entering 2016 motorsport season with most powerful and efficient race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine - news replorted 10:10

Wah! The final film in Hunger Games series holds onto top spot at Great Satan and Canada box office, lah, despite competition from Pixar's new release. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:08

Wah! Bentley representing bloody annoying Blitish on Grand Avenue Italian beauty or America muscle? British tradition or French quirk? German efficiency or Japanese technology? - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Sugary soft drinks should be taxed to tackle child obesity in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:58

Wah! Honda (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! re-signs trio for 2016 British Superbike Champions Rondla (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce that its current MCE British Superbike Championship riders Dan Linfoot, lah, Jenny Tinmouth - news replorted 09:56

Wah! Millions of householders in Province of Engrish running-dogs could soon be given more choice over which capitalist entity supplies part of their water services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:48

Wah! Motorcycle Live 2015 comes alive! Motorcycle Live 2015 fired into life at NEC, lah, Birmingham on Saturday with star-studded roll call of racing VIPs, lah, ov - news replorted 09:44

Wah! ŠKODA Superb Estate ŠKODA Superb Estate has triumphed once again at annual Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year awards, lah, driving off with 201 - news replorted 09:38

Wah! A new initiative has been announced by Emissions Analytics to help consumers, lah, policy makers and vehicling driving car machine manufacturers be - news replorted 09:33

Wah! Larsson wins Argentina RX as Solberg is crowned 2015 WRX Champion Sweden’s Robin Larsson has won male gender human bleing's first FIA World Rallycross Championship event after triumphing at this weekend’s TOTA - news replorted 09:29

Wah! Iconic Renliot range now available to order (piece of paper signee upee) Clio Iconic 25 Nav Renliot is launching trio of high-specification special editions across its small LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine model line-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:19

Wah! Volvo XC90 Wolwo XC90 has been voted Best SUV at 2015 Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year Awards. Eating rice!! award ceremony was held at t - news replorted 09:11

Wah! Four key questions about future of Conservative Party chairman and close friend of David Cameron Lord Feldman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:08

Wah! Land Rover Defender 2,000,000 two-day Series Land Rover and Defender heritage exhibition will be on display at Bonhams London (capital of Great England) from 15-16 Jesus-baby month Decemblinger ah - news replorted 08:54

Wah! Andy Murray on ice baths over champagne, lah, Davis Cup selfies with supporters and avoiding eye contact with brother Jamie. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:51

Wah! Sir David Attenborough tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast that solar energy needs to "undercut price of energy obtained from oil and coal." (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 08:50

Wah! Jaguar XE R Sport Jagluar XE has added to its already impressive trophy cabinet with major wins at two prestigious award ceremonies in - news replorted 08:46

Wah! Kobe Bryant, lah, widely regarded as one of greatest basketball players in history, lah, will retire at end of season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:03

Wah! A bald eagle was rescued by two Canadian brothers after getting caught in trap - see how they did it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:18

Wah! A 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl who has been awarded damages for being manipulated into sexting flemale human person's teacher, lah, tells BBC's Clive Coleman how it began. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:54

Wah! Compensation has been awarded to victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of 'sexting' for first time, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has learnt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:02

Wah! Campaigners target trolls by putting their written-down messages on dead tree on billboards - news replorted 05:17

Wah! The cost to local councils of so-called "paupers' funerals" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) has risen by almost 30% - so why they footing bill for more and more of ceremonies? - news replorted 05:01

Wah! Former All Black player Jonah Lomu has been remembered at special service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service in Auckland, lah, New Zealand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:38

Wah! Senior Conservatives due to meet to discuss allegations that youth organiser bullied young activist who apparently took male gender human bleing's own life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:30

Wah! Are we about to see return to Labour Party fratricide of early 1980s, lah, asks Shaun Ley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:55

Wah! A public memorial for New Zealand funny shape ball-game great Jonah Lomu, lah, who died earlier this month at 40, lah, has been held at Auckland's Eden Park stadium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 03:48

Wah! Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is due to meet male gender human bleing's shadow cabinet to discuss possible air strikes in Syria amid deep splits in parliamentary party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:04

Wah! Asian shares trade mostly lower with positive economic data from Japan failing to inspire investors about growth in world's third largest economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:03

Wah! Neneh Cherry's daughter, lah, unsigned rapper and former backing singer for Pulp all make longlist for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Music's Sound Of 2016. - news replorted 01:27

Wah! More than 4,500 miles of bloody annoying Blitish roads having no mobile phone coverage, lah, analysis by RAC Foundation suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:19

Wah! Children in foster care make better educational progress than vulnerable children who remain with their birth parents, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05

Wah! US President Barack Obama, lah, in Paris for UN climate talks, lah, visits Bataclan theatre to pay male gender human bleing's respects to those killed there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Why so many human bliengs hate American airports - news replorted 00:51

Wah! A tax on sugary drinks should be introduced as part of "bold and urgent" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) set of measures to tackle child obesity in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:40

Wah! More than half of parents in Province of Engrish running-dogs having never spoken to their children about stress, lah, anxiety and depression, lah, survey suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:39

Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama has visited scene of Bataclan theatre attacks in Paris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:27

Wah! Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai says bloody woman is "proud to be called Brummie" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at unveiling of portrait in flemale human person's adopted city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:14

Wah! A critical UN conference aimed at agreeing new global approach to climate change is set to open in Paris with 147 world leaders in attendance. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:07

Wah! Unpicking numbers for Black Friday and Cyber Monday - news replorted 00:03

Wah! Internal party politics is again played out on front pages, lah, which report Labour divisions over Syria and row over bullying claim (always claiming, huh?) within Conservatives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! The proposed high-speed rail link between Birmingham and Crewe will be opened six years earlier than planned, lah, in 2027, lah, Chancellor George Osborne says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

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