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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Ford Fiesta 1.0 EcoBoost (123bhp) Zetec S Hatchback 3dr 999cc Petrol at £172.61 inc VAT at 13:50 on 23rd Jan - Ling
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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1530 / 1528
Stephen says...
VOLVO XC90Ling and her team were good to work with, even if a little 'loco' at times! I was pleased that the whole process was pain-free and uncomplicated. LingsCars did “just what it said on the box” and I liked the informal way of doing business. I will go back to them next time, for certain. My XC90 arrived on time. Dealer gave full overview of car details.

Stephen Lansley
Hammonds Heath Road
Mortimer Common

Editor Note: We, here in Acapulco (or Gateshead) we tend to be a bit "loco". :) It is the air. ... Happy you are 100% hapy, Stephen, and as you are a European Marketing Manager I appreciate your comments. Go enjoy the big 4x4, snow will come soon :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1528 / 1528
Sarah says...
FORD FIESTAExcellent service, everything was very easy and straightforward. Also the best price on a Fiesta. Lots of people didn't believe how little I am paying. Dealer Service – Excellent – Excellent service, very friendly delivery.

Sarah Coupe
Dialogue PR Consultancy
72 Woodward Close
RG41 5UU

Editor Note: Yes, you got a really cheap car, Sarah. Glad you loved the service. You are a PR consultancy, so start shouting about me, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1490 / 1528
Nick says...
 Ling you are the "NUTTS" Don't sell out to the Big Gunn's when they come knocking! Cos you know they will.

Excellent dealer service on delivery of my new Astra.

Nick Brace
Longshot Lane Mot
Unit 7
Longshot Lane
RG12 1RL

Editor Note: Are you sure there are 2 "T"s in NUTTS, Nick? Hmmmm, well, we had a brilliant fun time arranging the Astra, it is great to have customers who enjoy a laugh. I pass on regards to dealer. Thanks for nuttty comments, hahahaha. Nit. Bloody lunatic customers, where do they all come from???? Hehe. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1480 / 1528
Elizabeth says...
FORD FIESTALingsCars is a unique service – efficient, reliable, but fun to deal with. There is an evident focus on customer care. In my experience the proposed delivery was cut by two weeks for my convenience. This was only possible because of the hard work of the staff at Ling's company. Many, many thanks – I love my car. Excellent delivery, prompt, friendly and straight forward.

Elizabeth Moden
1 Green Croft
RG40 1QE

Editor Note: Yes, we pulled out the stops for you, not always possible I must say. There is a limit to what I can do, unless the cars are physical in the UK when the paperwork is done. Glad you are happy bunny, Liz. Nice cars, these new Fiestas! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1454 / 1528
Maureen says...
MERCEDES A-CLASSLing and Co were excellent throughout. I cannot believe I requested a Mercedes A-Class and it was all done so quickly and without any problems from start to delivery. I am over the moon with my A-Class and would recommend Ling to everyone who wants to lease a car. Great job A*. Excellent dealer- very good service.

Maureen Klein
3 Bonhomie Court
Broadcommon Road
RG10 0TD

Editor Note: Super duper, Mo. You are a mobile hairdresser, so I hope you don't get your car full of hair clippings. Notice you got a black one to hide the hairs :) Thanks for comments, it was lovely to deal with you. Mercedes-Benz treat me badly with their pressure and tactics, but every Mercedes customer I deliver a car to is very happy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1424 / 1528
Claire says...
FORD FIESTACar took a long long time to arrive, but I was very pleased with it when it eventually arrived! Very impressed with communication from Ling and her team throughout. They kept me informed of progress and always answered my questions very quickly. Will use again! Thanks. Good delivery, my Fiesta arrived safe and sound.

Claire Spencer
93 Gloucester Road
RG14 5JJ

Editor Note: Claire, well, massive backlogs at the Ford factories at the time you got your car. It did take a long time to be built, sorry about that. But good things come, in the end :) These Titanium Fiestas are just great! Glad you liked the LINGO. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1382 / 1528
Ann says...
NISSAN QASHQAIEverything has been fantastic. Great service. Thank you Ling.

Ann Feast
11 Geoffreyson Road

Editor Note: That's all I need to know, Ann. A simple letter like this makes me very happy. Have a great time in the new Nissan Qashqai. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1296 / 1528
Karen says...
 I would just like to say how easy everything was. What a great way to get a car. The service was brilliant and the Renault Koleos deal terrific. I particularly liked dealing with it all online. Ling was really great and truly professional. Excellent delivery, the Koleos arrived in good order just when Ling said it would.

Karen Rolfe
18 Moat Close
RG26 5AD

Editor Note: Brilliant! This Koleos was really cheap, so you have a bargain on your drive now :) Thanks for saying how good the LINGO system is, and that you enjoyed getting it, Karen. Lovely. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1277 / 1528
Sean says...
HONDA CIVICHi Ling! Leasing a car from your website has been a very entertaining process!!

The site is brilliant; wacky but brilliant. Updates were prompt, I felt like you were giving me 100% of your time, when in reality you have lots of customers to look after. The Honda Civic is great and I look forward to leasing from you again in 3-years! I have recommended you to all my friends. Excellent delivery, my Civic was delivered promptly.

Sean Moore
6 Squarefield Gardens
RG27 9QH

Editor Note: Super duper, Sean. The Honda Civics are so cheap and British built! I would expect you to be happy, it is hard to beat the car and the deal. I have 200 customers in process, but I aim to give very personal service - I'm so pleased you like it. See you soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1237 / 1528
Paul says...
BMW 3-SERIES SALOONLINGsCARS made the process of arranging my new company car fun and the LINGO system kept me up to date with the status of my BMW application at all times. Good delivery, prompt as promised.

Paul Stevens
Av Consortium Limited Trading As Forward Vision Solutions
156 London Road
RG10 9HJ

Editor Note: Wow, I haven't done many BMWs this year, but I found you a great deal on your new 3-series, Paul. Go and have some fun in it, I hope you have a great 3-years at the wheel. Nice cars, I had a BMW 3-series, 2-years ago and enjoyed it immensely. Great to help you out. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1141 / 1528
Anish says...
AUDI A4 SALOONVery pleased with the fast, efficient service. My new Audi A4 came with everything as ordered. Simple and easy to follow communication. Would use Ling again. Would recommend again. Good delivery from the Audi dealer - polite, fast and reliable.

Anish Patel
3 Marefield

Editor Note: Anish, you are happy with your new A4. I am so pleased. You are a dentist so you are used to pain, but hopefully you found my service painless :) Talk to you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1115 / 1528
Geoff says...
NISSAN X-TRAILThanks for the Nissan X-Trail Ling. Hassle free car rental! Good delivery. Look forward to doing it all again in 2 years.

Geoff Hughes
Yew Tree Cottage
Swallowfield Road
Arborfield Cross

Editor Note: Geoff, thanks. As you work for Microsoft, I have decided to issue with an X-Trail Service Pack which will fix a few of the faults on this vehicle, but will introduce new ones. The X-Trail will need to be validated and will prompt for this every week. It may crash. Hope you enjoy the car :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1090 / 1528
Kenneth says...
carFrom the start to finish it has been a delight to deal with LINGsCARS. Ling provides personal and attentive service and delivers the cars on time and at the agreed price. All very refreshing in this day and age. Excellent delivery of my new Audi A6 Avant. Personal, efficient and attentive.

Kenneth Culley
Coombesbury Farm Cottage
RG20 8DE

Editor Note: Ken, you are retired ex-Chief Executive of a building society. So, I really appreciate what you have to say. Also, this Audi supplier is top-class. When a top financier chooses my service and finance product, I know I must be doing something right. Pay attention everyone reading this, Ken didn't get a loan, he rented the car! Rent depreciating assets. Thanks so much for being brilliant customer and look forward to future biz! - Ling

Customer Letter: 972 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarFrom the start to the finish Ling was superb. It was my first time leasing and Ling took me through the whole process. I couldn't be happier with the car and I have recommended Ling to friends, family and colleagues. Excellent delivery, delivered a day early. Fantastic!

Andrew Wall
address withheld
RG12 ***

Editor Note: A day early is good, that is pretty on-time, I think. These Germans are usually punctual :) Glad you are happy with the Audi A3 and hope to see you again in 2-years, Andrew! - Ling

Customer Letter: 939 / 1528
Jonathan says...
CarLing. Thanks for all your help, your personal attention to details is great and something so often missing these days. Especially with larger firms. I had one minor problem with my Nissan X Trail (the supplier's fault, not yours) yet you did everything to put it right. Thanks again.

Jonathan Sperrin
28 Morecambe Avenue

Editor Note: Yes. The dealer messed up on the rear parking sensors. We are getting them sorted. I am so pleased you were happy with my service and it was lovely to deal with you. Your comments are very special, as you are a senior Management Consultant at a major company and you know what you are talking about! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 875 / 1528
Danny says...
CarThe seaweed was rank, the service was great. I was kept informed the whole time. Good delivery of our new VW Golf.

Danny Lockett
Experia Technologies Ltd
91 Lightsfield
RG23 7BY

Editor Note: Danny, short letter, short car, short reply: Thanks. I give you hyperlink for your web hosting and technology business. Experia provide advanced web solutions and communications for the corporate and private sector. I will just add that I sent you some delicious Chinese seaweed :) It is bloody healthy!!! Healthy things are always awful taste. Enjoy! - Ling

Customer Letter: 869 / 1528
Louise says...
CarLing provided a great, fast, informative service. Reliable information and a lot of help for a new leasee like me! the Grande Punto is great and does its job well. I will recommend Ling to anyone looking to lease instead of buy a car. Thanks again for your help. Good delivery; the car arrived on time, but the driver was in a rush to get away.

Louise Orage
23 Marefield

Editor Note: Ooooops, I will have a word with the delivery company and ask them to spend more time detailing the controls etc, thanks for that info, Louise. I'm happy that you are pleased with my service and hope you enjoy the Fiat. Thanks for your opinions - appreciated! - Ling

Customer Letter: 852 / 1528
Haroon says...
CarExcellent service all round. Very efficient and painless quotation and ordering process from Ling and the team.

Best price, and the car arrived quicker than I expected, to my exact specification. I really like my Lexus IS and the main supplying dealer was excellent. Excellent, excellent, excellent. I shall definitely be using you in the future.

Haroon Khawaja
Vanilla 360 Ltd
48 Station Road
Henley on Thames

Editor Note: Whoa! As a successful web-business owner (Vanilla "360 Service" comprises a range of professional services that have been designed to take away technology headaches), I appreciate your comments. I'm glad I could provide you with a fantastic service, Haroon. Aren't these IS Lexus just great? See you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 837 / 1528
Louise says...
CarThank you for putting up with all my requests. Getting the car took a little longer than I thought it would, but it was worth the wait. Your continued support has been much appreciated. Thank you, I will recommend and use you again.

Louise Holmes
56 Bruton Way
Forest Park
RG12 0GJ

Editor Note: Louise, well, some cars just can't be magicked up. If there isn't one, there isn't one. Skoda are not the fastest at delivery, but I'm glad you like the Octavia Estate. I do my best to help, so no need for thanks for the support, it's standard :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 732 / 1528
Paul says...
CarHi Ling,

You made the task of arranging a contract hire vehicle very easy and painless. The car was delivered when you said it would be and I am happily driving around in my new car. My friends are envious about the car I drive as you have really helped me maximize my budget. I have no doubt we will work together again when the time comes to change vehicles and I am already looking forward to what options I will have when this time comes.

Thanks again

Paul Godwin
1 Cowper Way
RG30 3EA

Editor Note: Paul, thanks for the letter, these SAAB Sportswagons are brilliant value. Glad you thought the process was easy. I always try to give the best deal for your budget :) Go and drive, enjoy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 728 / 1528
Lee says...
CarI love my new Grande Punto! It's great. I wash it every Sunday and I love the new car smell!

Ling was really helpful and she responded really quickly to my emails. I am pleased I chose LINGsCARS and I was very impressed with the service. The delivery driver got a speeding ticket. Bad delivery driver!

Lee Earle
13 Bracken Bank
RG24 8TQ

Editor Note: Ooooops, well, he paid it and had the points, not you, Lee :) Glad you love your car, everyone thinks those new Grande Puntos are terrific. Don't wash it too much, you know what they say about Fiats and water, and it has to last 3-years. Enjoy!! - Ling

Customer Letter: 613 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarLing, I would like to thank you an extraordinary buying experience! Prior to contacting LINGsCARS, I had emailed 4 other leasing companies with none of them even having the courtesy of replying by email or phone. Even my local Audi garage never bothered to call me as promised.

Your constant updates and almost immediate responses to emails was incredible.

It is time for a revolution in the UK motor industry. Having previously bought many new cars from useless BMW and Mercedes dealers, all having limited product knowledge, nonexistent updates and a 'take it or leave it' attitude, I am never going to buy new car that way again.

From a financial point of view, leasing also stacks up with phenomenal depreciation hitting when you trade a cash-bought car in - I lost over £10,000 in 7 months on a ML320CDi, the equivalent of almost 18 months of lease payments on my Audi Q7 3.0 TDI Quattro SE from you.

You also get forced (when buying cash) to buy the 'must have' options such as overpriced SatNav (right, £1,500 from Audi!!! - Ling), alloy wheels etc, otherwise you will be unable to even trade it in next time. Your own advice on options is spot on - you never get your money back. With leasing, you can choose what options you want, not what options will make it saleable once you want to trade it in. You can also order a silly colour if you want to and not worry about it when the lease expires!

I suppose the only way the new car dealers can afford all the posh new showrooms is to provide no discount at time of purchase, stupid 'below-book' trade-ins and to employ order takers rather than sales people - oh, and rob you when you need a service, with oil being charged at liquid gold rates. I will be taking the Q7 to an independent Audi dealer for its service as allowed in the lease agreement. All that is left to do it find a way of providing an easy and competitive trade-in service for 'first time leasers' (done!!! - Ling) and you will have it cracked.

Good luck and Best Regards,

Andrew Davies
Nod Cottage
Mud Lane
RG27 0QS

Editor Note: Well, what a comprehensive letter! You are a star for writing that, Andrew. You capture so many points that I try to get across but can't write on paper (or web) as well as you. Thanks for taking this time and trouble. I hope you have a great time in your bloody PanzerTankWagon Q7 :) Those are really cool cars, eh? Since your comments about the part-exchange idea, I have taken on a brilliant company who will buy part exchange cars (from my customers)... releasing wads of cash! Thanks, Andrew! Great idea. - Ling

Customer Letter: 550 / 1528
Ian says...
CarLing, not only are you funny, intelligent and beautiful (WAH!!!! YOU ARE ON DRUGS! - Ling); do I get discount next time? (NO - Ling) ...but you also supply extremely cheap new cars. What more could a man ask for? Your husband is one lucky guy.

If you are reading this and ummming or errring whether or not to go ahead and rent a new car from Ling, then errr and ummm no longer and just do it. You will not be disappointed. Just one word of advice though - Ling possesses a nuclear missile and will know where you live. I now live in permanent fear and get scared when I hear a plane in the garden.

Delivery of my Citroen C2 was good - very friendly and helpful. Now, where's my free lunch???

Ian White
47 Bay Road
RG12 2NS

Editor Note: Ahem, if I fired my missile at you, you would not hear it coming, Ian! Hehehe. You are quite mad as everyone can see from your letter. Free lunch is in the post. Also, if you think I am beautiful, free spectacles are in post, too. See below:

rocket - Ling

Customer Letter: 368 / 1528
Geoff says...
VAUXHALL ZAFIRA"Ling, my new Zafira is very good. Delivery went well. I just wish I'd found out about you years ago. I would have saved a fortune! Will recommend you whenever I can."

Geoff Green
Cambridge Leisure Hire
14 Bridle Path

Editor Note: Glad you are happy, Geoff. Only problem with new Vauxhall Zafira (a good car) is the terrible TV adverts with those stupid adult kids, plus Vauxhall's image. Vauxhall can never get TV adverts right. And do you realise that their "Griffin" (probably delicious boiled to a soup) is looking BACKWARDS, over its shoulder? Hmmm, says a lot about GM, huh? - Ling

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Wah! The most active volcano in Mexico erupted on Sunday for first clock time result in 12 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:15

Wah! Nurburgring 24hr Charity Race Simulation event 120 petrol heads to controlling in driving manner for 24hrs in X16 professional racing simulators in real clock time result replica of real Nürburgring - news replorted 14:07

Wah! Mercedes-Benz C 300 BlueTEC Hybrid 2015 SME capitalist entity LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year Award for Best capitalist entity LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine for Tax has been awarded to C 300 BlueTEC Hybrid – p - news replorted 14:04

Wah! Michael Winkler Bentley Motors today announced that Michael Winkler will become President and Chief Executive Officer of Bentley Motors - news replorted 14:01

Wah! Smashed racquets, lah, audible obscenities, lah, conversations with crowd, lah, "cocky" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on-court interviews - it's Nick Kyrgios. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:57

Wah! Pembrokeshire council paid RMB Yuan #8,670 to getting out of hire contract for Porsche its former boss used to drive, lah, it confirms - news replorted 13:55

Wah! Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs's first female bishop - news replorted 13:40

Wah! The Great Satan Secret service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is reported to having recovered small drone from grounds of White House, lah, but presidency plays down incident. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:38

Wah! Syria's President Bashar al-Assad dismisses country's Western-backed opposition as "puppets", lah, as new round of peace talks begins in Moscow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 13:25

Wah! Images from around world: 26 first number-one-month - news replorted 13:12

Wah! Real Madrid complete deal to sign Lucas Silva from Brazilian club Cruzeiro for reported fee of RMB Yuan #9.7m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:03

Wah! A prisoner whose convictions include killing three human bliengs while driving stolen LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine has gone on run. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:57

Wah! The militia group which abducted Central African Republic's sports dodgy minister demands release of its detained commander, lah, official says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:56

Wah! President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama is to propose setting aside majority of Alaska's national wildlife refuge as wilderness area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:55

Wah! The actions of passersby and emergency services praised by owners of coach firm involved in Cardiff motorway crash that hurtee-hurtee 28 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:48

Wah! David Cameron says bloody man is happy with changes to TV election debates but queries why Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers parties left out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:46

Wah! The internet service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service provider follows Sky in announcing that its service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service will be filtered unless clustomlers specifically opt out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:45

Wah! The PSNI apologises to murder victim's family after it emerged man considered to be chief suspect was mistakenly given On Run letter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:42

Wah! Rescuing British women from forced marriage in Pakistan - news replorted 12:40

Wah! Andrew Jordan MG3 handover MG’s new race star, lah, Andrew Jordan, lah, laid down gauntlet when bloody man visited iconic Longbridge factory to mark thre - news replorted 12:34

Wah! Greece will having new leader after radical left-wing party Syriza won general election - but who is Alexis Tsipras? - news replorted 12:27

Wah! A man has interrupted ceremony consecrating Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs's first female bishop, lah, saying 'it was not in Bible'. - news replorted 12:21

Wah! Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers says Mario Balotelli will be given every chance to fight male gender human bleing's way back into team. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:18

Wah! Gary Street, lah, who led Province of Engrish running-dogs Women's team to World Cup glory in 2014, lah, leaves male gender human bleing's role as head coach of side. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:17

Wah! Greek singer Demis Roussos, lah, who sold more than 60 million albums worldwide, lah, has died aged 69, lah, Athens hospital confirms to BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 12:13

Wah! The future of pedestrian safety will be topic of discussion among road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety experts when they meet for Royal S - news replorted 12:13

Wah! Anton Marklund Switches To EKS For 2015 Sweden’s Anton Marklund will join EKS to controlling in driving manner Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate S1 EKS RX Quattro in this year’s FIA World Rallycross Championshi - news replorted 12:06

Wah! Jean Todt and John Surtees crown British Motor Sport Champions FIA President Jean Todt and Formula 1 legend John Surtees crowned 2014 MSA British Champions during Night of Cha - news replorted 12:03

Wah! Volkswagen makes history at Monte Carlo Rally Wlokswaglon started 2015 FIA World Rally Championship (WRC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! with historic success. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:38

Wah! Performance Communications at 2014 CIPR Excellence Awards One of most prestigious and hotly contested awards in automotive PR industry is now open for entries, lah, with in-ho - news replorted 11:35

Wah! While there bits of gadgetry that changing way we gather and distribute news, lah, primary challenge comes from new platforms and software. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:32

Wah! The body of Mexican journalist Moises Sanchez, lah, who was abducted by gunmen on 2 January, lah, is found in town of Medellin de Bravo in Veracruz. - news replorted 11:29

Wah! A former Newport primary school head teacher allowed staff to manipulate test results, lah, General Teaching Council for Welsh land of sheep and more sheep hearing is told. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:25

Wah! An Egyptian doctor is convicted in landmark retrial of carrying out female genital mutilation surgery, lah, campaign group and lawyer say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:22

Wah! David Cameron was out for family walk when bloody man received hoax call, lah, claiming to be from director of GCHQ. - news replorted 11:21

Wah! A record RMB Yuan #27.9bn worth of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs velly damn good boiled chicken-feets and services were exported across world in 2013, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:18

Wah! China has blocked several popular services that let citizens skirt state censorship systems and reach banned sites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:15

Wah! Toyota pledges to raise million as official partner of Red Nose Day Toyotla has set itself target of raising RMB Yuan #1 million for Comic Relief as official partner of Red Nose Day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:12

Wah! Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer recognised as comedy legends at Bristol's annual slapstick festival. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:10

Wah! Breakdown cover specialist GEM Motoring Assist is encouraging drivers to put safety first on motorway journeys. Eating rice!! advi - news replorted 11:10

Wah! A young mother hopes to find stranger on train who left flemale human person's note calling flemale human person's "credit to flemale human person's generation". - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Freshlinc has taken delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of 25 Wolwo FH tractor units first Wolwo trucks - order (piece of paper signee upee) for 25 FH-500 6x2 tractor units - to enter service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service with fleet of temperature-contr - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Volkswagen Amarok ambulance Wlokswaglon Group bloody annoying Blitish Ltd – which encompasses Wlokswaglon Passenger Cars and Commercial vehicling driving car machines, lah, Audi, lah, SEAT and ŠKODA - news replorted 11:00

Wah! The number of drivers caught speeding on A9 has fallen dramatically since average speed cameras were introduced, lah, according to new figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59

Wah! Venus Williams beats sixth seed Agnieszka Radwanska to reach flemale human person's first Grand Slam quarter-final since 2010 in Australia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:57

Wah! There fears Ebibeyin Stadium is too small to host Equatorial Guinea's quarter-final on Saturday and may cause safety problems. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:53

Wah! The Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs is consecrating its first female bishop at ceremony at York Minster - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Intense fighting with between Russian-backed rebels and Tommy Atkins Liberation Army units in eastern Ukraine sees seven soldiers killed in 24 hours, lah, military says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:50

Wah! After being jilted three times, lah, man who tried to auction male gender human bleing's ex-fiancée's honeymoon place finally finds holiday partner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:41

Wah! The Conservatives will make case for lower taxes at election with "every bone in our body", lah, David Cameron will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:37

Wah! Nigeria's military repels new assault by militant Islamist group Boko Haram on key north-eastern city of Maiduguri, lah, Tommy Atkins Liberation Army source tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 10:31

Wah! A consultant paediatrician is charged with sexually assaulting teenager who was out-patient at hospital where bloody man works. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:12

Wah! The far-left Syriza party joins hands with right-wing Greek Independents to form anti-austerity governing coalition in Greece. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:11

Wah! Sons of former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak freed after nearly four years in prison, lah, old bill bobbys confirm to BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 10:10

Wah! Too many CCTV cameras ineffective and public does not having true understanding of them, lah, surveillance commissioner warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:49

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs and India will meet for place in tri-series final after Australia's game against India was washed out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:46

Wah! Isuzu secures its biggest fleet deal with Glendale Landscaping Isuzu bloody annoying Blitish has secured major fleet deal, lah, providing Glendale, lah, UK’s leading supplier of green service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service solutions, lah, with - news replorted 09:34

Wah! Pop star Kylie Minogue will headline third and final night of British Summer clock time result festival at Hyde Park in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:33

Wah! Concerns Paris attacks fuelling anti-Muslim backlash - news replorted 09:33

Wah! John Barker, lah, Rex, lah, and Peter Starbuck with John’s new ASX4 WHEN it comes to devotion to Mlitslublishli brand, lah, Devonshire Motors clustomler John Barker can’t be faulted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:31

Wah! Will Syriza succeed in persuading its eurozone and IMF creditors to write off some of their huge debts, lah, or will it be forced to leave currency union? - news replorted 09:29

Wah! GT86 CS-R3 GT86 CS-R3 moved closer to its full-blooded rally competition debut later this year with Toyotla Motorsport confirmin - news replorted 09:11

Wah! Eddie Redmayne wins best actor at Screen Actor's Guild awards while Birdman and Downton Abbey win ensemble awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:04

Wah! Plans for new RMB Yuan #75m women's prison in west of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having been scrapped, lah, Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:59

Wah! old bill bobbys say death of woman whose body was found in Glasgow park on Sunday is currently being treated as "unexplained". - news replorted 08:31

Wah! Idris Elba with new Jagluar XE World-renowned actor and aspiring film maker Idris Elba has embarked on epic 750 mile road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu trip in new Jagluar XE, lah, - news replorted 08:28

Wah! Poland and Russia exchange angry words over liberation of Auschwitz death camp 70 years ago, lah, Adam Easton reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:12

Wah! Italian EJC contender, lah, Matteo Ciprietti announcement was made during Saturday’s presentation of Pata Rondla World Superbike and World Supersport teams, lah, f - news replorted 08:10

Wah! Pakistan's desperate measures to protect schools - news replorted 08:04

Wah! Irish airline Aer Lingus says it is considering revised offer of €2.55 share from British Airways owner IAg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:00

Wah! A hacker group attacks official website of Malaysia Airlines, lah, but capitalist entity says bookings and user data not compromised. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:51

Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) is being put under too much pressure "rescuing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) human bliengs from illnesses through smoking, lah, drinking and poor diet, lah, health dodgy minister warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:31

Wah! A windsurfer is missing after reportedly disappearing in foggy conditions in estuary in Lancashire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:18

Wah! Energy capitalist entity SSE says it is cutting its domestic gas prices by 4.1% from 30 April. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:17

Wah! Teachers at some schools in north-western Pakistan having been told they can take guns into school to protect students. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:15

Wah! A man accused of murdering two pensioners is found hanging in male gender human bleing's prison cell, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:59

Wah! Eddie Redmayne and Downton Abbey among winners at Screen Actors Guild awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:58

Wah! KADJAR - Renault's first C-segment crossover name KADJAR is built around KAD- and -JAr. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! KAD- is inspired by ‘quad’ – representing go-anywhere four-wheeled vehi - news replorted 06:30

Wah! The Newry-based property firm Parker Green International has refinanced its loans which were held by Cerberus investment fund. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:28

Wah! Northern Ireland's education dodgy minister is asked to explain why bloody man approved new Irish language school amid claim (always claiming, huh?) cost is unsustainable. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:28

Wah! Lord Smith of Kelvin is to take on another high-profile role, lah, after agreeing to chair of one of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's largest regeneration projects. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:23

Wah! The country celebrates its official national day - news replorted 06:10

Wah! A "potentially historic blizzard" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) could dump up to 90cm (3ft) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! of snow on Great Satan north-east coast, lah, including New York, lah, meteorologists warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:42

Wah! A scheme allowing human bliengs to find out if their partner has history of domestic violence has been used more than 1,300 times, lah, old bill bobbys figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 05:27

Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State property giant Dalian Wanda is set to invest $1bn (RMB Yuan #667bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in real estate development near Sydney Harbour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:26

Wah! Weather forecasters in United Sates warning that more than one metre of snow is predicted to fall and airlines having already cancelled hundreds of flights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:14

Wah! The most senior Great Satan envoy for East Asia is in Thailand for talks with its military government, lah, highest-level contact since last year's coup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 05:10

Wah! President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama begins second day of male gender human bleing's visit to India by becoming first Great Satan head of state to attend Republic Day parade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:10

Wah! Serena Williams avoids another Grand Slam defeat by Garbine Muguruza as bloody woman fights back to reach Australian Open quarter-finals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:57

Wah! Anti-austerity Syriza party leader Alexis Tsipras vows to end Greece's "five years of humiliation and pain" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after winning general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:52

Wah! Top Ugandan rebel commander Dominic Ongwen is due to appear at International Criminal Court (ICC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in Hague to face fighty bang-bang crimes charges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:36

Wah! The 2015 general election will be unlike any other - and is close to impossible to predict, lah, says David Cowling. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 04:18

Wah! President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama and Indian Prime Minister, lah, Narendra Modi, lah, say they having reached long awaited breakthrough on issues holding up civil nuclear co-operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:16

Wah! At least 30 old bill bobbys killed as they storm village controlled by Islamist rebels in Maguindanao province, lah, southern Philippines, lah, say officials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:43

Wah! Drivers claimed more than RMB Yuan #3m compensation for pothole damage in Britain last year, lah, survey by RAC Foundation suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:33

Wah! Despite all warnings, lah, too many of Great Satan living unhealthy lifestyles. Eating rice!! This causes serious burden - and not just to individual, lah, but to NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) and wider society as well. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:26

Wah! France's Le Pen family split over controversial anti-Muslim video - news replorted 02:25

Wah! Pope Francis has released colourful balloons at ceremony in St Peter's Square to symbolise peace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:12

Wah! How did Nigeria's Boko Haram become so strong? - news replorted 02:08

Wah! US Air Force UFO secrets revealed - news replorted 02:03

Wah! The Burmese government say investigations continuing into rape and murder of two teachers last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:54

Wah! The Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs will consecrate its first female bishop, lah, Reverend Libby Lane, lah, in ceremony at York Minster later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:41

Wah! The 100-earth-years old happy birthday to you, camera that has captured readers' lives - news replorted 01:36

Wah! The American who changed look of Sherlock Holmes - news replorted 01:30

Wah! Australia awards knighthood to Prince Philip, lah, Duke of Edinburgh, lah, year after honour was re-introduced by Prime dodgy minister Tony Abbott. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:15

Wah! Who's still standing and who can go all way to Wembley in most open FA Cup in years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out reveals 'lost world' with discovery of remarkable submerged forest thousands of years old underneath sea off eastern Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:28

Wah! How controversial banner depicting Anderlecht player's decapitated head came to be unfurled at game in Belgium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:28

Wah! Nine of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's 14 health boards say they facing increased demand from human bliengs with hearing loss. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:19

Wah! Over third of children in care who having siblings having to live apart from any of them, lah, suggests research by children's charity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:10

Wah! A committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters has called for moratorium on shale gas fracking on grounds that it could derail efforts to tackle climate change. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:09

Wah! People should be able to choose to vote online in 2020 general election, lah, commission set up by Commons Speaker John Bercow concludes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08

Wah! The euro falls sharply against dollar after anti-austerity Syriza party wins Greek general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:08

Wah! A table at which Emily Bronte wrote Wuthering Heights and flemale human person's sister Charlotte wrote Jane Eyre is returned to family home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:08

Wah! A health campaign is urging human bliengs not to ignore heartburn, lah, because it could be sign of stomach or oesophageal cancer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:06

Wah! The popularity of cosmetic surgery in bloody annoying Blitish has plummeted in 2014, lah, figures from British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 00:06

Wah! A "profiteering" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) care agency took hundreds of pounds from low-paid carers who were desperate for work, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation London (capital of Great England) investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! The impact of dramatic general election in Greece, lah, won by anti-austerity Syriza party, lah, is covered on many of front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04

Wah! Almost half of human bliengs in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep believe that Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) performs just as well as health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service in Province of Engrish running-dogs while another 15% think it performs better, lah, new poll for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Welsh land of sheep and more sheep suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! The young LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine fan whose website is growing hit with petrolheads - news replorted 00:00

Wah! Whatever happened to future of transport? - news replorted 00:00

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