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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1530 / 1527
Stephen says...
VOLVO XC90Ling and her team were good to work with, even if a little 'loco' at times! I was pleased that the whole process was pain-free and uncomplicated. LingsCars did “just what it said on the box” and I liked the informal way of doing business. I will go back to them next time, for certain. My XC90 arrived on time. Dealer gave full overview of car details.

Stephen Lansley
Hammonds Heath Road
Mortimer Common

Editor Note: We, here in Acapulco (or Gateshead) we tend to be a bit "loco". :) It is the air. ... Happy you are 100% hapy, Stephen, and as you are a European Marketing Manager I appreciate your comments. Go enjoy the big 4x4, snow will come soon :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1528 / 1527
Sarah says...
FORD FIESTAExcellent service, everything was very easy and straightforward. Also the best price on a Fiesta. Lots of people didn't believe how little I am paying. Dealer Service – Excellent – Excellent service, very friendly delivery.

Sarah Coupe
Dialogue PR Consultancy
72 Woodward Close
RG41 5UU

Editor Note: Yes, you got a really cheap car, Sarah. Glad you loved the service. You are a PR consultancy, so start shouting about me, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1490 / 1527
Nick says...
 Ling you are the "NUTTS" Don't sell out to the Big Gunn's when they come knocking! Cos you know they will.

Excellent dealer service on delivery of my new Astra.

Nick Brace
Longshot Lane Mot
Unit 7
Longshot Lane
RG12 1RL

Editor Note: Are you sure there are 2 "T"s in NUTTS, Nick? Hmmmm, well, we had a brilliant fun time arranging the Astra, it is great to have customers who enjoy a laugh. I pass on regards to dealer. Thanks for nuttty comments, hahahaha. Nit. Bloody lunatic customers, where do they all come from???? Hehe. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1480 / 1527
Elizabeth says...
FORD FIESTALingsCars is a unique service – efficient, reliable, but fun to deal with. There is an evident focus on customer care. In my experience the proposed delivery was cut by two weeks for my convenience. This was only possible because of the hard work of the staff at Ling's company. Many, many thanks – I love my car. Excellent delivery, prompt, friendly and straight forward.

Elizabeth Moden
1 Green Croft
RG40 1QE

Editor Note: Yes, we pulled out the stops for you, not always possible I must say. There is a limit to what I can do, unless the cars are physical in the UK when the paperwork is done. Glad you are happy bunny, Liz. Nice cars, these new Fiestas! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1454 / 1527
Maureen says...
MERCEDES A-CLASSLing and Co were excellent throughout. I cannot believe I requested a Mercedes A-Class and it was all done so quickly and without any problems from start to delivery. I am over the moon with my A-Class and would recommend Ling to everyone who wants to lease a car. Great job A*. Excellent dealer- very good service.

Maureen Klein
3 Bonhomie Court
Broadcommon Road
RG10 0TD

Editor Note: Super duper, Mo. You are a mobile hairdresser, so I hope you don't get your car full of hair clippings. Notice you got a black one to hide the hairs :) Thanks for comments, it was lovely to deal with you. Mercedes-Benz treat me badly with their pressure and tactics, but every Mercedes customer I deliver a car to is very happy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1424 / 1527
Claire says...
FORD FIESTACar took a long long time to arrive, but I was very pleased with it when it eventually arrived! Very impressed with communication from Ling and her team throughout. They kept me informed of progress and always answered my questions very quickly. Will use again! Thanks. Good delivery, my Fiesta arrived safe and sound.

Claire Spencer
93 Gloucester Road
RG14 5JJ

Editor Note: Claire, well, massive backlogs at the Ford factories at the time you got your car. It did take a long time to be built, sorry about that. But good things come, in the end :) These Titanium Fiestas are just great! Glad you liked the LINGO. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1382 / 1527
Ann says...
NISSAN QASHQAIEverything has been fantastic. Great service. Thank you Ling.

Ann Feast
11 Geoffreyson Road

Editor Note: That's all I need to know, Ann. A simple letter like this makes me very happy. Have a great time in the new Nissan Qashqai. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1296 / 1527
Karen says...
 I would just like to say how easy everything was. What a great way to get a car. The service was brilliant and the Renault Koleos deal terrific. I particularly liked dealing with it all online. Ling was really great and truly professional. Excellent delivery, the Koleos arrived in good order just when Ling said it would.

Karen Rolfe
18 Moat Close
RG26 5AD

Editor Note: Brilliant! This Koleos was really cheap, so you have a bargain on your drive now :) Thanks for saying how good the LINGO system is, and that you enjoyed getting it, Karen. Lovely. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1277 / 1527
Sean says...
HONDA CIVICHi Ling! Leasing a car from your website has been a very entertaining process!!

The site is brilliant; wacky but brilliant. Updates were prompt, I felt like you were giving me 100% of your time, when in reality you have lots of customers to look after. The Honda Civic is great and I look forward to leasing from you again in 3-years! I have recommended you to all my friends. Excellent delivery, my Civic was delivered promptly.

Sean Moore
6 Squarefield Gardens
RG27 9QH

Editor Note: Super duper, Sean. The Honda Civics are so cheap and British built! I would expect you to be happy, it is hard to beat the car and the deal. I have 200 customers in process, but I aim to give very personal service - I'm so pleased you like it. See you soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1237 / 1527
Paul says...
BMW 3-SERIES SALOONLINGsCARS made the process of arranging my new company car fun and the LINGO system kept me up to date with the status of my BMW application at all times. Good delivery, prompt as promised.

Paul Stevens
Av Consortium Limited Trading As Forward Vision Solutions
156 London Road
RG10 9HJ

Editor Note: Wow, I haven't done many BMWs this year, but I found you a great deal on your new 3-series, Paul. Go and have some fun in it, I hope you have a great 3-years at the wheel. Nice cars, I had a BMW 3-series, 2-years ago and enjoyed it immensely. Great to help you out. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1141 / 1527
Anish says...
 Very pleased with the fast, efficient service. My new Audi A4 came with everything as ordered. Simple and easy to follow communication. Would use Ling again. Would recommend again. Good delivery from the Audi dealer - polite, fast and reliable.

Anish Patel
3 Marefield

Editor Note: Anish, you are happy with your new A4. I am so pleased. You are a dentist so you are used to pain, but hopefully you found my service painless :) Talk to you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1115 / 1527
Geoff says...
NISSAN X-TRAILThanks for the Nissan X-Trail Ling. Hassle free car rental! Good delivery. Look forward to doing it all again in 2 years.

Geoff Hughes
Yew Tree Cottage
Swallowfield Road
Arborfield Cross

Editor Note: Geoff, thanks. As you work for Microsoft, I have decided to issue with an X-Trail Service Pack which will fix a few of the faults on this vehicle, but will introduce new ones. The X-Trail will need to be validated and will prompt for this every week. It may crash. Hope you enjoy the car :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1090 / 1527
Kenneth says...
carFrom the start to finish it has been a delight to deal with LINGsCARS. Ling provides personal and attentive service and delivers the cars on time and at the agreed price. All very refreshing in this day and age. Excellent delivery of my new Audi A6 Avant. Personal, efficient and attentive.

Kenneth Culley
Coombesbury Farm Cottage
RG20 8DE

Editor Note: Ken, you are retired ex-Chief Executive of a building society. So, I really appreciate what you have to say. Also, this Audi supplier is top-class. When a top financier chooses my service and finance product, I know I must be doing something right. Pay attention everyone reading this, Ken didn't get a loan, he rented the car! Rent depreciating assets. Thanks so much for being brilliant customer and look forward to future biz! - Ling

Customer Letter: 972 / 1527
Andrew says...
CarFrom the start to the finish Ling was superb. It was my first time leasing and Ling took me through the whole process. I couldn't be happier with the car and I have recommended Ling to friends, family and colleagues. Excellent delivery, delivered a day early. Fantastic!

Andrew Wall
address withheld
RG12 ***

Editor Note: A day early is good, that is pretty on-time, I think. These Germans are usually punctual :) Glad you are happy with the Audi A3 and hope to see you again in 2-years, Andrew! - Ling

Customer Letter: 939 / 1527
Jonathan says...
CarLing. Thanks for all your help, your personal attention to details is great and something so often missing these days. Especially with larger firms. I had one minor problem with my Nissan X Trail (the supplier's fault, not yours) yet you did everything to put it right. Thanks again.

Jonathan Sperrin
28 Morecambe Avenue

Editor Note: Yes. The dealer messed up on the rear parking sensors. We are getting them sorted. I am so pleased you were happy with my service and it was lovely to deal with you. Your comments are very special, as you are a senior Management Consultant at a major company and you know what you are talking about! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 875 / 1527
Danny says...
CarThe seaweed was rank, the service was great. I was kept informed the whole time. Good delivery of our new VW Golf.

Danny Lockett
Experia Technologies Ltd
91 Lightsfield
RG23 7BY

Editor Note: Danny, short letter, short car, short reply: Thanks. I give you hyperlink for your web hosting and technology business. Experia provide advanced web solutions and communications for the corporate and private sector. I will just add that I sent you some delicious Chinese seaweed :) It is bloody healthy!!! Healthy things are always awful taste. Enjoy! - Ling

Customer Letter: 869 / 1527
Louise says...
CarLing provided a great, fast, informative service. Reliable information and a lot of help for a new leasee like me! the Grande Punto is great and does its job well. I will recommend Ling to anyone looking to lease instead of buy a car. Thanks again for your help. Good delivery; the car arrived on time, but the driver was in a rush to get away.

Louise Orage
23 Marefield

Editor Note: Ooooops, I will have a word with the delivery company and ask them to spend more time detailing the controls etc, thanks for that info, Louise. I'm happy that you are pleased with my service and hope you enjoy the Fiat. Thanks for your opinions - appreciated! - Ling

Customer Letter: 852 / 1527
Haroon says...
CarExcellent service all round. Very efficient and painless quotation and ordering process from Ling and the team.

Best price, and the car arrived quicker than I expected, to my exact specification. I really like my Lexus IS and the main supplying dealer was excellent. Excellent, excellent, excellent. I shall definitely be using you in the future.

Haroon Khawaja
Vanilla 360 Ltd
48 Station Road
Henley on Thames

Editor Note: Whoa! As a successful web-business owner (Vanilla "360 Service" comprises a range of professional services that have been designed to take away technology headaches), I appreciate your comments. I'm glad I could provide you with a fantastic service, Haroon. Aren't these IS Lexus just great? See you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 837 / 1527
Louise says...
CarThank you for putting up with all my requests. Getting the car took a little longer than I thought it would, but it was worth the wait. Your continued support has been much appreciated. Thank you, I will recommend and use you again.

Louise Holmes
56 Bruton Way
Forest Park
RG12 0GJ

Editor Note: Louise, well, some cars just can't be magicked up. If there isn't one, there isn't one. Skoda are not the fastest at delivery, but I'm glad you like the Octavia Estate. I do my best to help, so no need for thanks for the support, it's standard :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 732 / 1527
Paul says...
CarHi Ling,

You made the task of arranging a contract hire vehicle very easy and painless. The car was delivered when you said it would be and I am happily driving around in my new car. My friends are envious about the car I drive as you have really helped me maximize my budget. I have no doubt we will work together again when the time comes to change vehicles and I am already looking forward to what options I will have when this time comes.

Thanks again

Paul Godwin
1 Cowper Way
RG30 3EA

Editor Note: Paul, thanks for the letter, these SAAB Sportswagons are brilliant value. Glad you thought the process was easy. I always try to give the best deal for your budget :) Go and drive, enjoy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 728 / 1527
Lee says...
CarI love my new Grande Punto! It's great. I wash it every Sunday and I love the new car smell!

Ling was really helpful and she responded really quickly to my emails. I am pleased I chose LINGsCARS and I was very impressed with the service. The delivery driver got a speeding ticket. Bad delivery driver!

Lee Earle
13 Bracken Bank
RG24 8TQ

Editor Note: Ooooops, well, he paid it and had the points, not you, Lee :) Glad you love your car, everyone thinks those new Grande Puntos are terrific. Don't wash it too much, you know what they say about Fiats and water, and it has to last 3-years. Enjoy!! - Ling

Customer Letter: 613 / 1527
Andrew says...
CarLing, I would like to thank you an extraordinary buying experience! Prior to contacting LINGsCARS, I had emailed 4 other leasing companies with none of them even having the courtesy of replying by email or phone. Even my local Audi garage never bothered to call me as promised.

Your constant updates and almost immediate responses to emails was incredible.

It is time for a revolution in the UK motor industry. Having previously bought many new cars from useless BMW and Mercedes dealers, all having limited product knowledge, nonexistent updates and a 'take it or leave it' attitude, I am never going to buy new car that way again.

From a financial point of view, leasing also stacks up with phenomenal depreciation hitting when you trade a cash-bought car in - I lost over £10,000 in 7 months on a ML320CDi, the equivalent of almost 18 months of lease payments on my Audi Q7 3.0 TDI Quattro SE from you.

You also get forced (when buying cash) to buy the 'must have' options such as overpriced SatNav (right, £1,500 from Audi!!! - Ling), alloy wheels etc, otherwise you will be unable to even trade it in next time. Your own advice on options is spot on - you never get your money back. With leasing, you can choose what options you want, not what options will make it saleable once you want to trade it in. You can also order a silly colour if you want to and not worry about it when the lease expires!

I suppose the only way the new car dealers can afford all the posh new showrooms is to provide no discount at time of purchase, stupid 'below-book' trade-ins and to employ order takers rather than sales people - oh, and rob you when you need a service, with oil being charged at liquid gold rates. I will be taking the Q7 to an independent Audi dealer for its service as allowed in the lease agreement. All that is left to do it find a way of providing an easy and competitive trade-in service for 'first time leasers' (done!!! - Ling) and you will have it cracked.

Good luck and Best Regards,

Andrew Davies
Nod Cottage
Mud Lane
RG27 0QS

Editor Note: Well, what a comprehensive letter! You are a star for writing that, Andrew. You capture so many points that I try to get across but can't write on paper (or web) as well as you. Thanks for taking this time and trouble. I hope you have a great time in your bloody PanzerTankWagon Q7 :) Those are really cool cars, eh? Since your comments about the part-exchange idea, I have taken on a brilliant company who will buy part exchange cars (from my customers)... releasing wads of cash! Thanks, Andrew! Great idea. - Ling

Customer Letter: 550 / 1527
Ian says...
CarLing, not only are you funny, intelligent and beautiful (WAH!!!! YOU ARE ON DRUGS! - Ling); do I get discount next time? (NO - Ling) ...but you also supply extremely cheap new cars. What more could a man ask for? Your husband is one lucky guy.

If you are reading this and ummming or errring whether or not to go ahead and rent a new car from Ling, then errr and ummm no longer and just do it. You will not be disappointed. Just one word of advice though - Ling possesses a nuclear missile and will know where you live. I now live in permanent fear and get scared when I hear a plane in the garden.

Delivery of my Citroen C2 was good - very friendly and helpful. Now, where's my free lunch???

Ian White
47 Bay Road
RG12 2NS

Editor Note: Ahem, if I fired my missile at you, you would not hear it coming, Ian! Hehehe. You are quite mad as everyone can see from your letter. Free lunch is in the post. Also, if you think I am beautiful, free spectacles are in post, too. See below:

rocket - Ling

Customer Letter: 368 / 1527
Geoff says...
 "Ling, my new Zafira is very good. Delivery went well. I just wish I'd found out about you years ago. I would have saved a fortune! Will recommend you whenever I can."

Geoff Green
Cambridge Leisure Hire
14 Bridle Path

Editor Note: Glad you are happy, Geoff. Only problem with new Vauxhall Zafira (a good car) is the terrible TV adverts with those stupid adult kids, plus Vauxhall's image. Vauxhall can never get TV adverts right. And do you realise that their "Griffin" (probably delicious boiled to a soup) is looking BACKWARDS, over its shoulder? Hmmm, says a lot about GM, huh? - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  A council will not offer used nappy collection service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service for children over three, lah, saying most should be potty trained by that age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:31

Wah! LATEST:  Glasgow East Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Natalie McGarry is charged by old bill bobbys in connection with alleged fraud offences. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:31

Wah! London (capital of Great England) Mayor Sadiq Khan urges male gender human bleing's Labour colleagues to focus on winning power and not retreat to "comfort zone" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in opposition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:59

Wah! The new Mercedes-Benz E-Class new Mercedes-Benz E-Class has been named best in its class at Caravan Club’s Towcar of Year awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:57

Wah! Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger says Province of Engrish running-dogs boss Sam Allardyce needs to be allowed to defend himself, lah, following allegations in newspaper. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:51

Wah! Three-time Tour de France winner Chris Froome says TUE system is "open to abuse" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and athletes must not "push boundaries of rules". - news replorted 14:16

Wah! Chris Evans pays tribute to Sir Terry Wogan at celebratory memorial service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:15

Wah! Lot 129 - 1926 Bentley 3 litre Short Chassis Sports Tourer International auctioneers Coys, lah, in association with Coutau-Bégarie, lah, having lined up superb selection of classic and spor - news replorted 14:01

Wah! The owners of Alton Towers theme park having been fined record RMB Yuan #5m for what was described as "needless and avoidable crash". - news replorted 13:37

Wah! German CDU politician Jenna Behrends sparks furore about sexism after male colleague called flemale human person's "sweet mouse". - news replorted 13:16

Wah! A man in male gender human bleing's 70s has been arrested on suspicion of murdering schoolgirl Elsie Frost in Wakefield more than 50 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:07

Wah! Senior Press Officer - bloody annoying Blitish  - Adam Gron Automotive journalists based in bloody annoying Blitish having fresh contact at McLaren Automotive in Adam Gron following male gender human bleing's promotion t - news replorted 13:00

Wah! The Republican candidate appeared to using unusual adverb in male gender human bleing's debate against Hillary Clinton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Or did he? - news replorted 12:56

Wah! AlloyGator strikes gold with alloy wheel protection To commemorate exciting summer of sporting success AlloyGator has announced that it has introduced two new celebrator - news replorted 12:41

Wah! The decision not to prosecute Sir Cliff Richard over claim (always claiming, huh?) of historical sex offences is upheld by Crown Prosecution Service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:13

Wah! People watching in Seattle react to Clinton-Trump presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:07

Wah! An Islamist who destroyed ancient shrines in Timbuktu is jailed by Hague court for nine years in first case of its kind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! Loans should replace tuition fee grants while there should be more help with living costs for all Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs students, lah, major review of university finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:26

Wah! 1988 BMWah-wah! E30 M3 More than 500 registered bidders joined Classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Auctions (CCA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at Warwickshire Exhibition Centre on Saturday 24t - news replorted 11:14

Wah! The Great Satan media gives their verdict on who won first debate, lah, with most awarding victory to Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:02

Wah! The American series has cast its first transgender child actor for forthcoming episode called Stereotypical Day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:00

Wah! What is third-party ownership and why is it banned in football? - news replorted 10:58

Wah! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visited rainforest as part of their eight-day tour of Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:29

Wah! Here key moments from presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:15

Wah! European new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine registrations continuing to grow and we moving forward, lah, after challenging years of econ - news replorted 10:09

Wah! Used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of month: BMWah-wah! 335d M Sport Touring E91 my velly own damn LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Check’s valuation experts reavealingly showing Great Satan significant trends in bloody annoying Blitish used vehicling driving car machine market and choose LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine and bike of th - news replorted 10:04

Wah! Citroën celebrates FIA WTCC* crown with treble! day after securing its third consecutive FIA World Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship title, lah, Citroën shone in races at - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Nissan develops autonomous chair Nissling today unveiled latest in series of innovations designed to bring benefits of its Intelligent Mobility - news replorted 09:59

Wah! Jessica Lussenhop in Washington DC looks at how gender featured in first debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:19

Wah! Alton Towers's operator Merlin is due to be sentenced later for crash on RMB Yuan #18m Smiler rollercoaster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! We asked African-American voters in Harlem what they made of Great Satan presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! All-new Jeepy Compass In celebration of start of production at FCA’s Jeepy Assembly Plant in Goiana, lah, Pernambuco, lah, Jeepy brand introduced - news replorted 09:09

Wah! Volkswagen Transporters to join Mountjoy's fleet of vehicling driving car machines leading provider of building and maintenance support services in Southern Province of Engrish running-dogs has significantly increased its flee - news replorted 09:00

Wah! The Freight Transport Association is showcasing work of its dedicated vehicling driving car machine Inspection service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service (VIS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! team – as it - news replorted 08:56

Wah! Stars including Chris Evans, lah, Joanna Lumley and Ken Bruce among those who will pay tribute at celebratory memorial service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service for Sir Terry Wogan on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:52

Wah! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge welcomed to remote rainforest community on day three of their tour of western Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:20

Wah! Donald Trump attacks Hillary Clinton, lah, claiming bloody woman hid emails "purposefully". - news replorted 07:08

Wah! Fact checking first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:40

Wah! Huge interest in first presidential debate was reflected in phenomenal amount of discussion online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:28

Wah! Dan Walker is joined by Dion Dublin and Mark Lawrenson to look ahead to Tuesday's Champions League games for Tottenham and Leicester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:13

Wah! Donald Trump has said bloody man does not believe that Hillary Clinton has stamina to be Great Satan president. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:49

Wah! A Japanese animated film has earned more than 10 billion yen in just 28 days since its release. What the hell I mean??!! But what exactly is it about this film that has been drawing in crowds? - news replorted 05:12

Wah! The stop-and-frisk policy features as big area of arglingument in first Great Satan presidential debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:14

Wah! Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton agreed that issue of cyber warfare had to be addressed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:09

Wah! Prosecutors say 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man has confessed to going on murderous rampage in shopping centre in Burlington, lah, which left five human bliengs dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:25

Wah! Hillary Clinton said bloody woman believes Donald Trump is 'hiding something' regarding male gender human bleing's tax return. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 03:14

Wah! Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton disagree on North American Free Trade Agreement - Nafta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:01

Wah! Follow opinion polls as Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton go to head-to-head in run up to Great Satan election on 8 November. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:00

Wah! All users of BBC's iPlayer service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service will having to log in with personal accounts in order (piece of paper signee upee) to using service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service from early 2017. - news replorted 01:33

Wah! It's not just Harry Potter's house which had come on market - here some ordinary homes with extraordinary screen presence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:08

Wah! Labour is to announce review of its approach to childcare and early years learning while London (capital of Great England) Mayor Sadiq Khan will tell party it must never be satisfied with opposition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:06

Wah! A total of 4,732 stray dogs cannot return to their owners because their microchips not contain correct contact details, lah, charity Dogs Trust finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05

Wah! The FA is investigating claim (always claiming, huh?) Province of Engrish running-dogs boss Sam Allardyce used male gender human bleing's role to negotiate RMB Yuan #400,000 deal and offer advice on how to bypass transfer rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:03

Wah! The results of world’s largest survey on rest suggest that to feel truly rested, lah, we need to getting away from other people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:37

Wah! Abubakar Shekau, lah, leader of Islamist group Boko Haram has once more released video to reject reports that bloody man had been killed. I read you little red book! bloody man has been reported dead five times already. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:31

Wah! Asylum seekers - mainly Afghan and Pakistani men - leave Austria for Italy, lah, but they face bleak conditions in city of Udine, lah, Bethany Bell reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:25

Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon is to tell business leaders that bloody annoying Blitish austerity policies were partly behind Brexit vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:20

Wah! The first shipment of Great Satan shale gas is arriving in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land amid fierce debate about future of fracking in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:15

Wah! Colombia's government and left-wing Farc rebels sign agreement that formally brings end to 52 years of civil war. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:11

Wah! Ahmad al-Faqi al-Mahdi has pleaded guilty to destroying sacred sites in Timbuktu, lah, Mali, lah, in first case concerning cultural artefacts at International Criminal Court (ICC). - news replorted 00:05

Wah! Nine in 10 human bliengs having no idea what companies with personal inflomination firms hold about them, lah, says Chartered Institute of Marketing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! People over age of 50 spending more and more on holidays - including cruises - while younger human bliengs travelling less, lah, study for Saga says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! A legal case concerning sale of video-streaming set-top boxes on which subscription content can be accessed for free begins on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:04

Wah! The lucrative counterfeit drugs trade causes hundreds of thousands of deaths every year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Technology can help fight it, lah, but big pharma and governments doing enough? - news replorted 00:04

Wah! Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Jake Berry has called for Royal Yacht Britannia to be brought back into service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service to help bloody annoying Blitish strike trade deals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

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