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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Search my letters page!
From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Reading
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Letter
Customer Letter: 1530 / 1528
Stephen says...
VOLVO XC90Ling and her team were good to work with, even if a little 'loco' at times! I was pleased that the whole process was pain-free and uncomplicated. LingsCars did “just what it said on the box” and I liked the informal way of doing business. I will go back to them next time, for certain. My XC90 arrived on time. Dealer gave full overview of car details.

Stephen Lansley
Hammonds Heath Road
Mortimer Common
Reading
RG7 3RG


Editor Note: We, here in Acapulco (or Gateshead) we tend to be a bit "loco". :) It is the air. ... Happy you are 100% hapy, Stephen, and as you are a European Marketing Manager I appreciate your comments. Go enjoy the big 4x4, snow will come soon :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1528 / 1528
Sarah says...
FORD FIESTAExcellent service, everything was very easy and straightforward. Also the best price on a Fiesta. Lots of people didn't believe how little I am paying. Dealer Service – Excellent – Excellent service, very friendly delivery.

Sarah Coupe
Dialogue PR Consultancy
72 Woodward Close
Winnersh
Wokingham
RG41 5UU


Editor Note: Yes, you got a really cheap car, Sarah. Glad you loved the service. You are a PR consultancy, so start shouting about me, hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1490 / 1528
Nick says...
 Ling you are the "NUTTS" Don't sell out to the Big Gunn's when they come knocking! Cos you know they will.

Excellent dealer service on delivery of my new Astra.

Nick Brace
Longshot Lane Mot
Unit 7
Longshot Lane
Bracknell
RG12 1RL


Editor Note: Are you sure there are 2 "T"s in NUTTS, Nick? Hmmmm, well, we had a brilliant fun time arranging the Astra, it is great to have customers who enjoy a laugh. I pass on regards to dealer. Thanks for nuttty comments, hahahaha. Nit. Bloody lunatic customers, where do they all come from???? Hehe. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1480 / 1528
Elizabeth says...
FORD FIESTALingsCars is a unique service – efficient, reliable, but fun to deal with. There is an evident focus on customer care. In my experience the proposed delivery was cut by two weeks for my convenience. This was only possible because of the hard work of the staff at Ling's company. Many, many thanks – I love my car. Excellent delivery, prompt, friendly and straight forward.

Elizabeth Moden
1 Green Croft
Wokingham
RG40 1QE


Editor Note: Yes, we pulled out the stops for you, not always possible I must say. There is a limit to what I can do, unless the cars are physical in the UK when the paperwork is done. Glad you are happy bunny, Liz. Nice cars, these new Fiestas! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1454 / 1528
Maureen says...
MERCEDES A-CLASSLing and Co were excellent throughout. I cannot believe I requested a Mercedes A-Class and it was all done so quickly and without any problems from start to delivery. I am over the moon with my A-Class and would recommend Ling to everyone who wants to lease a car. Great job A*. Excellent dealer- very good service.

Maureen Klein
3 Bonhomie Court
Broadcommon Road
Reading
RG10 0TD


Editor Note: Super duper, Mo. You are a mobile hairdresser, so I hope you don't get your car full of hair clippings. Notice you got a black one to hide the hairs :) Thanks for comments, it was lovely to deal with you. Mercedes-Benz treat me badly with their pressure and tactics, but every Mercedes customer I deliver a car to is very happy. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1424 / 1528
Claire says...
FORD FIESTACar took a long long time to arrive, but I was very pleased with it when it eventually arrived! Very impressed with communication from Ling and her team throughout. They kept me informed of progress and always answered my questions very quickly. Will use again! Thanks. Good delivery, my Fiesta arrived safe and sound.

Claire Spencer
93 Gloucester Road
Newbury
RG14 5JJ


Editor Note: Claire, well, massive backlogs at the Ford factories at the time you got your car. It did take a long time to be built, sorry about that. But good things come, in the end :) These Titanium Fiestas are just great! Glad you liked the LINGO. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1382 / 1528
Ann says...
NISSAN QASHQAIEverything has been fantastic. Great service. Thank you Ling.

Ann Feast
11 Geoffreyson Road
Caversham
Reading
RG4 7HS


Editor Note: That's all I need to know, Ann. A simple letter like this makes me very happy. Have a great time in the new Nissan Qashqai. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1296 / 1528
Karen says...
 I would just like to say how easy everything was. What a great way to get a car. The service was brilliant and the Renault Koleos deal terrific. I particularly liked dealing with it all online. Ling was really great and truly professional. Excellent delivery, the Koleos arrived in good order just when Ling said it would.

Karen Rolfe
18 Moat Close
Bramley
Tadley
RG26 5AD


Editor Note: Brilliant! This Koleos was really cheap, so you have a bargain on your drive now :) Thanks for saying how good the LINGO system is, and that you enjoyed getting it, Karen. Lovely. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1277 / 1528
Sean says...
HONDA CIVICHi Ling! Leasing a car from your website has been a very entertaining process!!

The site is brilliant; wacky but brilliant. Updates were prompt, I felt like you were giving me 100% of your time, when in reality you have lots of customers to look after. The Honda Civic is great and I look forward to leasing from you again in 3-years! I have recommended you to all my friends. Excellent delivery, my Civic was delivered promptly.

Sean Moore
6 Squarefield Gardens
Hook
RG27 9QH


Editor Note: Super duper, Sean. The Honda Civics are so cheap and British built! I would expect you to be happy, it is hard to beat the car and the deal. I have 200 customers in process, but I aim to give very personal service - I'm so pleased you like it. See you soon! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1237 / 1528
Paul says...
BMW 3-SERIES SALOONLINGsCARS made the process of arranging my new company car fun and the LINGO system kept me up to date with the status of my BMW application at all times. Good delivery, prompt as promised.

Paul Stevens
Av Consortium Limited Trading As Forward Vision Solutions
156 London Road
Ruscombe
Twyford
RG10 9HJ


Editor Note: Wow, I haven't done many BMWs this year, but I found you a great deal on your new 3-series, Paul. Go and have some fun in it, I hope you have a great 3-years at the wheel. Nice cars, I had a BMW 3-series, 2-years ago and enjoyed it immensely. Great to help you out. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1141 / 1528
Anish says...
AUDI A4 SALOONVery pleased with the fast, efficient service. My new Audi A4 came with everything as ordered. Simple and easy to follow communication. Would use Ling again. Would recommend LINGsCARS.com again. Good delivery from the Audi dealer - polite, fast and reliable.

Anish Patel
3 Marefield
Reading
RG6 3DZ


Editor Note: Anish, you are happy with your new A4. I am so pleased. You are a dentist so you are used to pain, but hopefully you found my service painless :) Talk to you in 2-years! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1115 / 1528
Geoff says...
NISSAN X-TRAILThanks for the Nissan X-Trail Ling. Hassle free car rental! Good delivery. Look forward to doing it all again in 2 years.

Geoff Hughes
Yew Tree Cottage
Swallowfield Road
Arborfield Cross
RG2 9JY


Editor Note: Geoff, thanks. As you work for Microsoft, I have decided to issue with an X-Trail Service Pack which will fix a few of the faults on this vehicle, but will introduce new ones. The X-Trail will need to be validated and will prompt for this every week. It may crash. Hope you enjoy the car :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1090 / 1528
Kenneth says...
carFrom the start to finish it has been a delight to deal with LINGsCARS. Ling provides personal and attentive service and delivers the cars on time and at the agreed price. All very refreshing in this day and age. Excellent delivery of my new Audi A6 Avant. Personal, efficient and attentive.

Kenneth Culley
Coombesbury Farm Cottage
Ownham
Newbury
RG20 8DE


Editor Note: Ken, you are retired ex-Chief Executive of a building society. So, I really appreciate what you have to say. Also, this Audi supplier is top-class. When a top financier chooses my service and finance product, I know I must be doing something right. Pay attention everyone reading this, Ken didn't get a loan, he rented the car! Rent depreciating assets. Thanks so much for being brilliant customer and look forward to future biz! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 972 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarFrom the start to the finish Ling was superb. It was my first time leasing and Ling took me through the whole process. I couldn't be happier with the car and I have recommended Ling to friends, family and colleagues. Excellent delivery, delivered a day early. Fantastic!

Andrew Wall
address withheld
Bracknell
RG12 ***


Editor Note: A day early is good, that is pretty on-time, I think. These Germans are usually punctual :) Glad you are happy with the Audi A3 and hope to see you again in 2-years, Andrew! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 939 / 1528
Jonathan says...
CarLing. Thanks for all your help, your personal attention to details is great and something so often missing these days. Especially with larger firms. I had one minor problem with my Nissan X Trail (the supplier's fault, not yours) yet you did everything to put it right. Thanks again.

Jonathan Sperrin
28 Morecambe Avenue
Caversham
RG4 7NL


Editor Note: Yes. The dealer messed up on the rear parking sensors. We are getting them sorted. I am so pleased you were happy with my service and it was lovely to deal with you. Your comments are very special, as you are a senior Management Consultant at a major company and you know what you are talking about! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 875 / 1528
Danny says...
CarThe seaweed was rank, the service was great. I was kept informed the whole time. Good delivery of our new VW Golf.

Danny Lockett
Experia Technologies Ltd
91 Lightsfield
Oakley
RG23 7BY


Editor Note: Danny, short letter, short car, short reply: Thanks. I give you hyperlink for your web hosting and technology business. Experia provide advanced web solutions and communications for the corporate and private sector. I will just add that I sent you some delicious Chinese seaweed :) It is bloody healthy!!! Healthy things are always awful taste. Enjoy! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 869 / 1528
Louise says...
CarLing provided a great, fast, informative service. Reliable information and a lot of help for a new leasee like me! the Grande Punto is great and does its job well. I will recommend Ling to anyone looking to lease instead of buy a car. Thanks again for your help. Good delivery; the car arrived on time, but the driver was in a rush to get away.

Louise Orage
23 Marefield
Reading
RG6 3OZ


Editor Note: Ooooops, I will have a word with the delivery company and ask them to spend more time detailing the controls etc, thanks for that info, Louise. I'm happy that you are pleased with my service and hope you enjoy the Fiat. Thanks for your opinions - appreciated! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 852 / 1528
Haroon says...
CarExcellent service all round. Very efficient and painless quotation and ordering process from Ling and the team.

Best price, and the car arrived quicker than I expected, to my exact specification. I really like my Lexus IS and the main supplying dealer was excellent. Excellent, excellent, excellent. I shall definitely be using you in the future.

Haroon Khawaja
Vanilla 360 Ltd
48 Station Road
Henley on Thames
RG9 1AY


Editor Note: Whoa! As a successful web-business owner (Vanilla "360 Service" comprises a range of professional services that have been designed to take away technology headaches), I appreciate your comments. I'm glad I could provide you with a fantastic service, Haroon. Aren't these IS Lexus just great? See you in 2-years! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 837 / 1528
Louise says...
CarThank you for putting up with all my requests. Getting the car took a little longer than I thought it would, but it was worth the wait. Your continued support has been much appreciated. Thank you, I will recommend and use you again.

Louise Holmes
56 Bruton Way
Forest Park
Bracknell
RG12 0GJ


Editor Note: Louise, well, some cars just can't be magicked up. If there isn't one, there isn't one. Skoda are not the fastest at delivery, but I'm glad you like the Octavia Estate. I do my best to help, so no need for thanks for the support, it's standard :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 732 / 1528
Paul says...
CarHi Ling,

You made the task of arranging a contract hire vehicle very easy and painless. The car was delivered when you said it would be and I am happily driving around in my new car. My friends are envious about the car I drive as you have really helped me maximize my budget. I have no doubt we will work together again when the time comes to change vehicles and I am already looking forward to what options I will have when this time comes.

Thanks again

Paul Godwin
1 Cowper Way
Southcote
Reading
RG30 3EA


Editor Note: Paul, thanks for the letter, these SAAB Sportswagons are brilliant value. Glad you thought the process was easy. I always try to give the best deal for your budget :) Go and drive, enjoy. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 728 / 1528
Lee says...
CarI love my new Grande Punto! It's great. I wash it every Sunday and I love the new car smell!

Ling was really helpful and she responded really quickly to my emails. I am pleased I chose LINGsCARS and I was very impressed with the service. The delivery driver got a speeding ticket. Bad delivery driver!

Lee Earle
13 Bracken Bank
Lychpit
Baisingstoke
RG24 8TQ


Editor Note: Ooooops, well, he paid it and had the points, not you, Lee :) Glad you love your car, everyone thinks those new Grande Puntos are terrific. Don't wash it too much, you know what they say about Fiats and water, and it has to last 3-years. Enjoy!! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 613 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarLing, I would like to thank you an extraordinary buying experience! Prior to contacting LINGsCARS, I had emailed 4 other leasing companies with none of them even having the courtesy of replying by email or phone. Even my local Audi garage never bothered to call me as promised.

Your constant updates and almost immediate responses to emails was incredible.

It is time for a revolution in the UK motor industry. Having previously bought many new cars from useless BMW and Mercedes dealers, all having limited product knowledge, nonexistent updates and a 'take it or leave it' attitude, I am never going to buy new car that way again.

From a financial point of view, leasing also stacks up with phenomenal depreciation hitting when you trade a cash-bought car in - I lost over £10,000 in 7 months on a ML320CDi, the equivalent of almost 18 months of lease payments on my Audi Q7 3.0 TDI Quattro SE from you.

You also get forced (when buying cash) to buy the 'must have' options such as overpriced SatNav (right, £1,500 from Audi!!! - Ling), alloy wheels etc, otherwise you will be unable to even trade it in next time. Your own advice on options is spot on - you never get your money back. With leasing, you can choose what options you want, not what options will make it saleable once you want to trade it in. You can also order a silly colour if you want to and not worry about it when the lease expires!

I suppose the only way the new car dealers can afford all the posh new showrooms is to provide no discount at time of purchase, stupid 'below-book' trade-ins and to employ order takers rather than sales people - oh, and rob you when you need a service, with oil being charged at liquid gold rates. I will be taking the Q7 to an independent Audi dealer for its service as allowed in the lease agreement. All that is left to do it find a way of providing an easy and competitive trade-in service for 'first time leasers' (done!!! - Ling) and you will have it cracked.

Good luck and Best Regards,

Andrew Davies
Nod Cottage
Mud Lane
Eversley
Hook
RG27 0QS


Editor Note: Well, what a comprehensive letter! You are a star for writing that, Andrew. You capture so many points that I try to get across but can't write on paper (or web) as well as you. Thanks for taking this time and trouble. I hope you have a great time in your bloody PanzerTankWagon Q7 :) Those are really cool cars, eh? Since your comments about the part-exchange idea, I have taken on a brilliant company who will buy part exchange cars (from my customers)... releasing wads of cash! Thanks, Andrew! Great idea. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 550 / 1528
Ian says...
CarLing, not only are you funny, intelligent and beautiful (WAH!!!! YOU ARE ON DRUGS! - Ling); do I get discount next time? (NO - Ling) ...but you also supply extremely cheap new cars. What more could a man ask for? Your husband is one lucky guy.

If you are reading this and ummming or errring whether or not to go ahead and rent a new car from Ling, then errr and ummm no longer and just do it. You will not be disappointed. Just one word of advice though - Ling possesses a nuclear missile and will know where you live. I now live in permanent fear and get scared when I hear a plane in the garden.

Delivery of my Citroen C2 was good - very friendly and helpful. Now, where's my free lunch???

Ian White
47 Bay Road
Bracknell
RG12 2NS


Editor Note: Ahem, if I fired my missile at you, you would not hear it coming, Ian! Hehehe. You are quite mad as everyone can see from your letter. Free lunch is in the post. Also, if you think I am beautiful, free spectacles are in post, too. See below:

rocket - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 368 / 1528
Geoff says...
VAUXHALL ZAFIRA"Ling, my new Zafira is very good. Delivery went well. I just wish I'd found out about you years ago. I would have saved a fortune! Will recommend you whenever I can."

Geoff Green
Cambridge Leisure Hire
14 Bridle Path
Woodcote
Reading
RG8 0SE


Editor Note: Glad you are happy, Geoff. Only problem with new Vauxhall Zafira (a good car) is the terrible TV adverts with those stupid adult kids, plus Vauxhall's image. Vauxhall can never get TV adverts right. And do you realise that their "Griffin" (probably delicious boiled to a soup) is looking BACKWARDS, over its shoulder? Hmmm, says a lot about GM, huh? - Ling



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Wah! Two Palestinians suspected of abduction and murder of three Israeli teenagers in June-mber month having been killed by Israeli forces, lah, Israel's military says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! Government borrowing remained high in August, lah, hampering chancellor's efforts to reduce public deficit, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Low key tax disc communication could harm used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine trade With just week to go until new rules governing vehicling driving car machine excise duty (road tax) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! begin, lah, Auto Trader has added its voice t - news replorted 09:51



Wah! Film-maker Bryan Singer is to direct X-Men: Apocalypse, lah, next movie in long-running blockbuster franchise. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! At least three human bliengs killed in bomb attack in Pakistani city of Peshawar as violence returns after several months of relative calm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:31



Wah! A Sinn Féin MLA says bloody woman is "very concerned" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about pressure on emergency department at Royal Victoria Hospital on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:24



Wah! Andy Murray has spoken publicly for first clock time result about written-down messages on dead tree bloody man made on eve of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs independence referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:24



Wah! Leaders from 120 countries will meet in New York on Monday for climate change summit called by UN secretary General Ban Ki Moon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:19



Wah! Liberia is to become first nation in Africa to completely stop cutting down its trees in return for cash from Norway. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:11



Wah! British Olympic champion Katherine Grainger is back in training and considering bid to compete at Rio 2016 Games. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! Hunstanton Sea Life Sanctuary in Norfolk is set to re-open in Octoblinger after tidal surge damage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:06



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs comedian Billy Connolly has said there will be "hell to pay" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if David Cameron does not honour male gender human bleing's pledge of extra powers for ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:05



Wah! The team which overhauled government's websites is attempting to solve problem of effective online identity verification. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:05



Wah! Does Labour having cash to expand health service? - news replorted 09:02



Wah! Mitsubishi Outlander PHEV TWO Mlitslublishli dealerships in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land went all out to spread word about game-changing Outlander PHEV at speci - news replorted 09:00



Wah! FISITA World Automotive Summit 2014 5th annual FISITA World Automotive Summit to be held in Paris, lah, France, lah, from 30 September – 1 Octoblinger this year will - news replorted 09:00



Wah! A second video has been released showing British journalist John Cantlie, lah, who is being held hostage by Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:53



Wah! On show at Museum of Modern Art in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep - news replorted 08:52



Wah! A badger found shot in abdomen inside west Somerset cull zone suffered "cruel and unacceptable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) death, lah, anti-cull campaigners say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:43



Wah! The presenter and physicist Brian Cox says bloody man supports idea that many universes may exist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:42



Wah! Andy Murray speaks publicly for first clock time result about written-down messages on dead tree bloody man made on eve of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:40



Wah! Plans for how Welsh land of sheep and more sheep will collect and manage its own taxes will be revealed by finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister Jane Hutt on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:29



Wah! A London (capital of Great England) bus used in Allied fighty bang-bang effort of 1914 is retracing its route in Belgium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:15



Wah! World leaders including Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama holding what they say is crucially important summit on climate change at UN in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:09



Wah! Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman has said that "long-term plan" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is needed to address problems in UK, lah, such as pay falling behind cost of living. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:03



Wah! Championship leader Lewis Hamilton heads to Japanese Grand Prix eyeing first ever win at tough Suzuka track. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:55



Wah! Ex-Manchester United player Phil Neville believes club need another two transfer windows of heavy spending to contend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:43



Wah! Troubled supermarket giant Tesco says its new chief financial officer, lah, Alan Stewart, lah, is joining capitalist entity immediately, lah, more than two months earlier than originally planned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:42



Wah! Only third of rail passengers happy with way their train capitalist entity deals with delays or cancellations, lah, survey has suggested. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:40



Wah! Designer shoe maker Jimmy Choo announces plans to list its shares on London (capital of Great England) Stock Exchange. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:22



Wah! The Rockefeller family, lah, which made its fortune from oil, lah, is to sell its investments in fossil fuels and put money into clean energy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:20



Wah! Ceefax, lah, service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service relied upon for sports news in days before smartphones and apps, lah, celebrates its 40th birthday today. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:18



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport takes look at 10 of best moments from Ryder Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 07:16



Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep risks losing key part of its historical heritage according campaigners trying to find buyer for Cardiff's Coal Exchange. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:16



Wah! A leading cancer charity says it is concerned disease is not being spotted early enough in young human bliengs because many too embarrassed to talk to their Gp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 07:02



Wah! Ministers accused of "shutting up shop" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by not revealing how each of Wales' seven enterprise zones is performing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 06:46



Wah! A court in China has found prominent Uighur scholar Ilham Tohti guilty of separatism and jailed him for life, lah, male gender human bleing's lawyer says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:31



Wah! US authorities say Omar Gonzalez, lah, who broke into White House on Friday evening, lah, had 800 rounds of ammunition, lah, machete and two hatchets in male gender human bleing's car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:16



Wah! A growing number of Super-Duper-Chinese-State companies exporting "tools of torture" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) such as electric shock batons and spiked metal batons, lah, Amnesty says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:06



Wah! Thousands of Hong Kong students to gather in park in front of government offices, lah, on second day of week-long protest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:44



Wah! David Cameron is to meet Iranian President Hassan Rouhani to persuade male gender human bleing's country to join international action against Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:31



Wah! A human rights watchdog is to investigate Met old bill bobbys after it emerged references to discrimination were deleted from internal reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:03



Wah! The Great Satan and allied nations having launched campaign of air strikes against Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! militants in Syria, lah, Pentagon says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:49



Wah! US and other nations begin air strikes against Islamic State in Syria, lah, Pentagon says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:35



Wah! The number of human bliengs dying from dengue fever in Malaysia has more than tripled this year compared with 2013, lah, with 250 cases being reported daily. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:50



Wah! Comedian Dawn French is to become new chancellor of Cornwall's Falmouth University. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:38



Wah! White House break-in adds to Secret service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service woes - news replorted 01:30



Wah! How lasers having revealed ancient city beneath forest - news replorted 01:14



Wah! Scientists at American Museum of Natural History and taxidermy experts having preserved Lonesome George, lah, last Pinta giant tortoise, lah, who died in 2012 in Galapagos Islands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! Hostages' families roll dice with public appeals for release - news replorted 00:38



Wah! Alex Salmond is to address Holyrood for first clock time result since ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land rejected independence and is expected to call for voting age to be lowered. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! Supermarket Tesco's suspension of four executives over overstated profit guidance leads several papers, lah, while others focus on claim (always claiming, huh?) of Breaking Bad-style murder plot. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! Movie style trailers increasingly common for theatrical shows, lah, but not everybody in theatrical world thinks they velly damn good boiled chicken-feet idea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:05



Wah! The White House announces new treasury department measures aimed at stopping companies avoiding Great Satan taxes by merging with overseas firms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



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