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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1489 / 1528
Andrew says...
NISSAN QASHQAII simply cannot believe how easy leasing a car has been. In fact the most difficult part of the whole process was actually choosing a car that I wanted. There was so much choice!

I have never leased a car before and was rather pessimistic about leasing as I have always owned my car. One visit to LingsCars.com totally changed my mind as it listed all the costs, how it all worked and instant access to a member of staff who also were brilliant when I asked questions.

I am very happy with my new Qashqai and is the best decision I have ever made regarding cars as especially in this snowy weather the car is brilliant.

I can't ever see myself buying a car again; I just don't see the point. Especially with what Ling is offering. The customer service on the website is literally phenomenal and you know exactly where you stand all the time.

Thanks very much Ling.

Dealer Service – EXCELLENT, brilliant service. Thank you!

Andrew Appleyard
11 Fox Howe
Coulby Newham
Middlesbrough
TS8 0RU


Editor Note: What a long letter, lovely! You are a Programme Executive with the Prince's Trust, so you are an expert in excellence. I appreciate your comments. Thanks for that PHENOMENAL word, love it. Enjoy the bloody nice Qashqai, hope Charlie is impressed when he sees it! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1355 / 1528
Jayne says...
CITROEN C5First car I have leased. I found the service very professional, Ling is great to deal with, great sense of humour!! The website and secure LINGO system for communication is "Boss"!! Cannot speak highly enough! Good delivery of my new C5.

Jayne Wilson
Hollygarth
Carlton-in-Cleveland
Middlesbrough
TS9 7BB


Editor Note: Jayne, you are Op Manager for a company in Carlisle and I am so happy to get good reports like this from someone who deals with day-to-day operations. It means I am doing something right!!! Have a great time in the C5, and welcome to the world of leasing! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1320 / 1528
Jayne says...
CITROEN C5This was the first time I have had a car on contract hire and I was surprised how easy it was. I believe a lot of it was down to you. I can recommend you to anyone and have already done so. Many thanks. Good delivery. The CD installation let the dealer down, after 3 weeks I still don't have it fitted.

Jayne Wilson
Hollygarth
Carlton-in-Cleveland
Middlesbrough
TS9 7BB


Editor Note: Well, for the record, the supplier (today) said: "The company we use for CD players has let us down. He promised he could supply and fit the correct CD player but now he is saying he cannot and not phoning any of us back. Our parts department is ordering one from the factory which we will then go up and fit. I will give Mrs Wilson a call with an update. I did call Mr Wilson yesterday and explained what we were doing.". However, I am annoyed that it has to take this long for action, and the supplying Citroen dealer must take responsibility at an earlier stage. The dealer has been kicked. It is so important to give customers good service and it is always finance companies and dealers who let the side down. Soon, you will be able to blast out your CDs, Jayne! :) I must say, you do have a CD player in your car, just not the CD changer system. I would not allow you to have NO music :) Apart from that, thanks so much for the comments about my service. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1211 / 1528
Pamela says...
 I have recently leased a new Mazda 3 from Ling and have found the experience excellent. The information and communication throughout the deal from the first initial enquiry through to delivery of the car was first class. The security measures within Ling's site on line give confidence in the use of it. I would recommend Ling to everyone looking to have a lease car without all the sales hassle. Excellent service and delivered on time.

Pamela Atkinson
74 Cinnamon Drive
Trimdon Station
Durham
TS29 6NY


Editor Note: Wow! That is a hell of a nice letter about your Mazda 3 Takara! As you work as a Senior Admin in South Tyneside, I am very proud that you found my systems worked well. I give security the top priority. Thanks so much for the kind comments, this is what makes me happy at the end of the day. Enjoy the car, Pamela!!! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1108 / 1528
Lee says...
 A few hiccups with my new Chrysler 300C but Ling always replied and got on with it within minutes. First class service and plenty of humour, thank you very much, wouldn't go anywhere else. I never dealt with the dealer, only Ling.

Lee Rowney
The Car Warehouse
Snowdon Road
Middlesbrough
TS21LR


Editor Note: Lee, well, you should be glad you didn't deal with the dealer as these Chrysler dealers are not the best, and they caused the hiccups. At one stage they changed their mind on supply! But, you got a damn cheap car in the end and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I am so pleased "The Car Warehouse" gets their director cars from me :). I have given you a hyperlink! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1027 / 1528
Steven says...
CarGreat service as ever Ling.

Steven Langley
Matrix Intelligence
Stratford House
Ramsgate
Stockton-on-Tees
TS18 1BS


Editor Note: Short letter writing competition WINNER! Save ink, save the environment :) Enjoy your Megane Sport Tourer, Steven. Matrix Intelligence is a UK designer and manufacturer of ruggedised digital CCTV video recorders. You specialise in mobile vehicle video recorders. You also supply niche covert surveillance recorders and undertake specialist projects to develop customised solutions. Hence the feeling I am being watched :). Despite very short letter, I give you hyperlink! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1026 / 1528
Peter says...
CarThe only problem with leasing a vehicle via Lingscars is that you have to write one of these testimonials. There only so many times you can praise her!! And the service received. :) Nissan Qashqai delivered 1st thing - for a change. Good delivery.

Peter Hawkins
Minster Cleaning Services
Stockton Business Centre
70-74 Brunswick Street,
Stockton on Tees
TS18 1DW


Editor Note: Peter, you have had so many cars from me I have lost count! I always nag you to tell me how things went for you and this time I asked for more than 5 words :) You obliged - just, hahahaha! What a fantastic customer! Delivery time depends on how far away the supplier is, and most places far away from Stockton which is somewhere close to the end of the earth... Hehehe. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1012 / 1528
Gary says...
CarGood services and communications. Kept informed of progress at regular intervals. All information was accurate and precise. Car was delivered a few days later than first thought but this was no problem. Dealer service was and has been good. Will definitely buy next car from Ling. Good delivery.

Gary Martin
663 Yarm Road, Eaglescliffe
Stockton On Tees
TS16 0JF


Editor Note: Gaza, you have a bloody pub called The Blue Bell, so I will be calling in for a (free) drink next time I am in Stockton. What lovely weather in summer 2008 for an Astra Twintop! Glad you are a happy bunny. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1002 / 1528
Peter says...
CarSpot on every time! And no fee!!

Peter Hawkins
Minster Cleaning Services
Stockton Business Centre
70-74 Brunswick Street,
Stockton on Tees
TS18 1DW


Editor Note: Peter, short letter, hahaha. Maybe you get tired writing, you have had so many cars from me :)The Qashqai is a great car, hope it does good service for your business. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 967 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarCleveland Technology Group have used Ling to source cars for us several times, and her service has been reliable and fuss-free. Once you take her (albiet very attention-grabbing) marketing out of the equation, you are left with a perfectly good contract hire company which often proves to be very competitive.

Andrew Gleghorn
Cleveland Circuits Ltd
Skelton Industrial Estate
Skelton
TS12 2LQ


Editor Note: Yes, Andrew, you have had a Peugeot 807 and a Renault Scenic and now a Lexus IS. I'm so glad you think I give you a good service :). I can only say your company is great to deal with and look forward to your next email for a car. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 848 / 1528
Peter says...
CarCar

Great prices, great cars and great service. Good delivery.

Peter Hawkins
Minster Cleaning Services
Stockton Business Centre
70-74 Brunswick Street
Stockton On Tees
TS18 1DW


Editor Note: Peter, I have supplied you with LOADS of cars. Hope the two Grande Puntos do a good job for you. I guess they will be full of mops and Flash. See you soon! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 839 / 1528
Ahmed says...
CarHello Ling. What can I say?

I am a repeat customer, this time a lovely Kia Picanto for my wife (last time a Kia Sorento) Your website is very informative, everything is clearly explained the whole process was very plain sailing. The sweets were lovely (really??? - Ling), I also enjoyed the Chinese seaweed. Delivery excellent, very courteous and professional.

Ahmed Omar
10 The Granary
Wynyard
Billingham
TS22 5QG


Editor Note: Ahmed, you are a superstar to take two cars. Kia should be very pleased they have such a loyal customer! You have proved what a super customer you are, the least I could do was to feed you! Seaweed is very good for the brain, but be careful on the beaches near Billingham, you have a nuclear power station near there! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 823 / 1528
Russell says...
CarThis Mercedes CLK Coupe is the second car that I've leased from Ling. I am very happy to deal with her. Ling does her best to make customers feel welcome. The best thing Ling does is to call you straight back and she sorts out any problems or worries. I look forward to dealing with her over the next couple of years.

Russell Corner
6 Trimdon Avenue
Middlesbrough
TS5 8LP


Editor Note: Hey, hey! Returning customers always welcome, Russell! Of course I return your calls :) You are too used to dealing with standard car dealers, even Mercedes dealers. They are not so hot, eh? Anyway, enjoy the damn CLK and I'll see you soon! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 793 / 1528
Sarah says...
CarLing, the Zafira is proving a great run-around, really useful as part of our vehicle fleet. Thanks for all your help! Excellent delivery, professional service and on-time!

Sarah Harker
Power Protection Engineering Ltd
Millenium Court
Ellerbeck Way
Stokesley
TS9 5JZ


Editor Note: Sarah, this car follows the Nissan Navara you have just had from me. Thanks for being a super customer! I love the way the Zafira is just a "run-around", hehehe. Enjoy! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 792 / 1528
Ahmed says...
CarAfter wasting 3 weeks waiting for a firm quote from a reputable company that advertises in the national press, I came across your site. You provided an excellent service, very friendly and professional, the sweets are lovely too! Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year! Excellent delivery of my new Kia Sorrento; prompt, helpful, professional.

Ahmed Omar
10 The Granary
Wynyard
Billingham
TS22 5QG


Editor Note: Ahmed, thanks. You were super-duper customer. You prove that advertising in the national press does NOT guarantee you a good service. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 737 / 1528
Glyn says...
CarLing provides an excellent service with good communication. Dealings are open and honest. Will definitely consider another rental when this one expires. Keep up the good work!

Glyn Lewis
4 Sheerness Way
Redcar
TS10 2RQ


Editor Note: Glyn, well, there was a mix-up on your delivery date, sorry about that, I shouted at the dealer. However, you liked the service and you are pleased with your car! Great! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 697 / 1528
Peter says...
Car"Does what she says on the tin". Good deals, good service, good variety, good delivery.

Peter Hawkins
Minster Cleaning Services
Stockton Business Centre
70-74 Brunswick Street
Stockton On Tees
TS18 1DW


Editor Note: Peter, ANOTHER car for you, this time a Fiat Grande Punto! Keep it up :) I really enjoy to supply you. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 695 / 1528
Sarah says...
CarLing has been a very attentive and helpful supplier, I cannot fault her service, we will certainly be referring future vehicle requirements to her! Excellent delivery of our Nissan Navara.

Sarah Harker
Power Protection Engineering Ltd
Millenium Court
Ellerbeck Way
Stokesley
TS9 5JZ


Editor Note: Sarah, well, so glad to be able to deliver this Navara, to be followed shortly by a Zafira you have on order with me. Thanks for being so good to me and so efficient with the paperwork - it helps :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 693 / 1528
Peter says...
CarPrompt, reliable service and good prices. What we've come to expect. Good delivery.

Peter Hawkins
Minster Cleaning Services
Stockton Business Centre
70-74 Brunswick Street
Stockton On Tees
TS18 1DW


Editor Note: Peter, you are a great repeat customer. Now you have a new Skoda Fabia - a great new small car. Don't let me stop you doing the dusting, hehehe, as you keep Stockton clean. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 687 / 1528
Ray says...
CarIt is such a refreshing change to deal with a company who seems to care, and are pretty competitive to boot! Excellent delivery of my BMW 3-series Coupe, good communication.

Ray Stock
NU*Stock Ltd
Unit 7/9
Ross Road
Stockton-on-Tees
TS18 2NH


Editor Note: Ray, well, you have a damn cheap BMW 320i Coupe complete with leather seats! Hope you have a great time and enjoy driving it. Thanks for being such a sweet customer, a pleasure to deal with you :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 659 / 1528
Ahmed says...
CarHello Ling

Many thanks for the Sorento, delivery person was very professional and helpful , I took your advice and tips about checking car etc.

This must the easiest way for getting a new car with very little outlay. cannot recommend you highly enough, one of my colleagues at work is already tempted and is checking your site.

Ahmed Omar
10 The Granary
Wynyard
Billingham
TS22 5QG


Editor Note: Wow, thanks for referring me, Omar. I am really happy to be delivering these Kias, they are great cars, there is much discussion about them taking much more market share in the future. Hope you enjoy driving it. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 488 / 1528
Angela says...
 "My new VW Golf is fine, service including delivery was good. A set of floor mats would be a nice touch. That little bit extra sets you apart."

Angela
Teesside Electrical Supplies Ltd
Unit 4, Crofton Court
Crofton Road
Stockton on Tees
TS18 2QZ


Editor Note: Angela, this is the fourth car I have supplied now to Teesside Electrical. Previously you've had a Primera, a Ford Focus and a Citroen Dispatch van. You know if I cost mats in, the rental would increase. Some finance companies I use do supply them after delivery, others don't. Halfords do them at £9.99 and it makes sense to me to get cheap ones, after all, only your shoes notice :). Thanks for being such a lovely customer! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 461 / 1528
Neil says...
MAZDA MX-5"Car was delivered last Thursday as arranged. Great fun! I can't believe how easy it all was. Thank you for your assistance. Will be back in touch when our other car needs replacing."

Neil Fryett
15 Boar Lane
Ingleby Barwick
Stockon On Tees
TS17 0RX


Editor Note: Ha! You live in Stockton which is a dodgy area to have an MX5, but you reckon it will survive, Neil. Maybe I'll see you whizzing around, I am often in that area playing ping pong with my club - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 425 / 1528
Ian says...
LEXUS IS"After searching with Lexus dealers and other suppliers, I emailed Ling. I thought "no way can this Chinese woman beat all these other proper companies". I really thought I shouldn't bother.

However, I did. And what happened? Online - instantly - Ling told me a price I couldn't believe and she got a DIFFERENT Lexus dealer to deliver my new car the instant I signed the documents. Less than 1 week later I was sitting in my new car and I paid the lowest monthly rental in the UK. Just amazing. How on earth can Ling do it?

I was a bit taken aback at the "what you want?" approach after being schmoozed by Lexus dealers, but as Ling told me, she treats all cars like cans of beans - no status hang ups. But her service is outstanding. Well done, Ling!"

Ian McKenna
152 High Street West
Redcar
TS10 5BL


Editor Note: Nice letter, thanks Ian. I must say that this delivery was fast because of an extraordinary Lexus dealer. He is the best I have found. I cannot always do things this fast, this was unusual. But why get stuck up on brands? It is only a badge and bloody Japanese as well! Anyway, another customer bites the dust, so glad you are happy with your Lexus IS220D SE, Ian! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 337 / 1528
Mark says...
 "Hi Ling,

Thanks for making the whole system of leasing a car so easy. I have never leased a car before, but now I can see the advantages. I will definitely be back for a new car in two years. Hurray!, for the little company!!! Dealer was excellent, they delivered the car very early so I did not have to wait!"

P.S. Stockton is not too bad, my house is nice!! haha."

Mark Beattie
6 Wasdale Grove
Stockton On Tees
TS19 0PP


Editor Note: Oooops, I probably made some offhand comment to Mark about Stockton being full of drug-dealers and council houses. Never mind, I'm sure there is a nice street or two. Hope you like the SAAB 9-3, Mark, I had one for 4 months last year and it was very nice car, except for bloody handbrake trapping my small fingers - Ling



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Wah! Wylfa nuclear power station on Anglesey is given licence to continue operating until Jesus-baby month Decemblinger next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:12



Wah! They both often named as future leaders. Eating rice!! Who did best? - news replorted 16:05



Wah! With inaugural Royal Automobile Club Motoring Book of Year Award just weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) away, lah, final nominations for this - news replorted 16:05



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Youth Employment dodgy minister Angela Constance has become third person to contest deputy leadership of SNp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 15:53



Wah! Manchester United's Ander Herrera may be out for several weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after fracturing rib in victory over West Ham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 15:52



Wah! Students who submit essays bought online not only cheating but may also be paying for poor product, lah, says Province of Engrish running-dogs's exams regulator. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:40



Wah! The family of disabled man who died after routine operation at Wrexham Maelor Hospital tell inquest male gender human bleing's death should never having happened. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:37



Wah! A mountain guide who was on Mount Ontake when it erupted speaks about moment it exploded without warning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 15:37



Wah! Castle Combe Autumn Classic What could be best meeting in its 64 year history will be day to delight, lah, when Castle Combe circuit hosts its - news replorted 15:32



Wah! The director of Great Satan Secret service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says 19 September break-in at White House was "unacceptable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "will never happen again". - news replorted 15:30



Wah! The Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) is to getting extra RMB Yuan #425m to spend over next two years, lah, finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister Jane Hutt announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:26



Wah! Rory Cellan-Jones on relationship between government and tech giants - news replorted 14:44



Wah! The unexplained death of three-week-old baby boy is investigated by North Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:42



Wah! A special live screening of Billy Elliot Musical Live tops bloody annoying Blitish and autonomous province of Guinness drinkers box office taking RMB Yuan #1.9m - making it highest grossing event cinema release. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:40



Wah! A former consultant at Royal Victoria Hospital's School of Dentistry has been struck off dental register and is under immediate suspension. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:33



Wah! Dacia Sandero Midnight Dacia has introduced new special edition to its Sandero family LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine line-up – Sandero Midnight. Pass chopsticks!! Sandero Midnight bu - news replorted 14:33



Wah! Kenya's economy is believed to be 25% larger than previously estimated following change in way its size is calculated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:32



Wah! Things that could only happen in Hong Kong protest - news replorted 14:30



Wah! Heavy fighting is reported on both sides of key border crossing between Iraq and Syria, lah, where Kurdish forces fighting Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:27



Wah! Suzuki GSX-S1000 ABS Suzluko pulled wraps off its new GSX-S1000 and GSX-S1000F models at opening of this year's International Motorcyc - news replorted 14:22



Wah! The EU decides to keep sanctions on Russia in place, lah, judging that Ukraine's peace deal is not fully effective. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:20



Wah! The Motor Sports Association (MSA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is inviting submissions for 2014 Renliot MSA Young Motor Sport Journalist and Pho - news replorted 14:20



Wah! Andy Murray follows up male gender human bleing's first title for 15 months with hard-fought win over Poland's Jerzy Janowicz at China Open. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:18



Wah! IS militants seem to be changing tactics after air strikes - news replorted 14:17



Wah! Greenpower - IET Formula 24 Greenpower Education Trust charity (www.greenpower.co.uk) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! will hold its first ever International Final at velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood M - news replorted 14:05



Wah! A man who filmed passengers preventing Pakistan's former interior dodgy minister from boarding plane for being late is sacked from male gender human bleing's job. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 13:57



Wah! A former old bill bobbys superintendent tells Hillsborough inquests of male gender human bleing's "profound regrets" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for not requesting delayed kick-off at 1989 FA-Cup semi final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:52



Wah! David Cameron has said that freezing working benefits so that they not rise by more than wages is "a basic fairness". - news replorted 13:48



Wah! Voice-activation functions on smartphones and other devices can be significant security risk, lah, warn researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:35



Wah! A boy with irreversible brain damage should be taken off life-support machine despite objections of male gender human bleing's parents, lah, High Court judge rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:32



Wah! Detectives investigating murder of Bath woman Melanie Hall in 1996 ask Crown Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service (CPS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for charging decision. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:28



Wah! Boris Johnson brings out fish puns to mock male gender human bleing's political opponents and pledges to fight UKIP on beaches. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:19



Wah! A poster encouraging Sainsbury's staff to getting clustomlers to spend more is put up in store window by mistake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:08



Wah! Nissan eNV200 Nissling has today launched exciting and informative web hub offering fleet van operators in bloody annoying Blitish real-world testimon - news replorted 13:00



Wah! News images from around world: 30 September - news replorted 12:54



Wah! David Cameron smiles as Boris Johnson gives Tory delegates "permission to purr" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs referendum result. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:51



Wah! Authorities in India investigate reports that five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy was allegedly locked up in kennel by male gender human bleing's school teacher as punishment for talking to another child in class. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! Firearms carried by old bill bobbys officers in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land expected to be covered with new type of holster to make them less visible to public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 12:28



Wah! The online auction site eBay is planning to split off its payments system PayPal into separate capitalist entity next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:23



Wah! Virgin Media asks Ofcom to investigate way that Premier League sells its TV rights, lah, saying present system is causing "significant consumer harm". - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Experts on ways to encourage children to look after their teeth - news replorted 12:20



Wah! The Liberal Democrats having signed deal with Labour to pass Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government budget, lah, which includes extra spending on education and completion of link road. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:20



Wah! Eurozone inflation slipped again in September, lah, with prices rising at their slowest rate in nearly five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:11



Wah! Is Theresa May's plan to tackle extremists workable? - news replorted 12:10



Wah! Newcastle manager Alan Pardew's job is thought to be safe for clock time result being, lah, despite male gender human bleing's side being second bottom of top flight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! The old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is to close more than 300 temporary agency posts at end of year, lah, spelling end of Historical Enquiries Team. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:05



Wah! Pata Rondla ready for WSBK's 2014 European finale Pata Rondla team is heading for this weekend’s (3-5 October) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! final European round of 2014 World Superbike champio - news replorted 12:00



Wah! Footage filmed by drone captures scale of Saturday's pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong's central business district. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:58



Wah! Nick Grimshaw's Guinness World twerking record is broken by fellow Radio 1 DJ Greg James immediately after male gender human bleing's attempt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:47



Wah! Are longer GP hours answer to improving access to services? - news replorted 11:45



Wah! Officials in eastern Ukraine say artillery is pounding Donetsk airport area, lah, where Ukrainian troops resisting pro-Russian separatists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! US Kansas City Chiefs NFL player Husain Abdullah is penalised after celebrating touchdown by falling to male gender human bleing's knees in prayer, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:36



Wah! Three secondary and eight primary schools could close to make way for three "superschools" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as part of RMB Yuan #75m shake-up in Rhondda Cynon Taf. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 11:36



Wah! Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro defends male gender human bleing's government's decision to seize US-owned factory following departure from Venezuela of Clorox. - news replorted 11:34



Wah! At least 3,700 children in Guinea, lah, Liberia and Sierra Leone having lost one or both parents to Ebola this year, lah, UN children's agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:34



Wah! Two nuns killed in collision involving old bill bobbys vehicling driving car machine in Newry, lah, County Down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:31



Wah! Indecent images of pupils found on computer of deputy head teacher of Essex school who was recently found dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:28



Wah! The man leading commission on more devolved powers for ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land writes to campaigners on both sides of independence debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:20



Wah! 30 Rock comic Tracy Morgan was not wearing seatbelt in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine accident that left him badly hurtee-hurtee and another passenger dead, lah, according to papers filed in Great Satan court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Woman's six-month campaign to having pictures removed - news replorted 11:02



Wah! Staff at Edinburgh Airport using Google Glass headsets to help them deal with clustomler inquiries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State cinema box office revenue surges 32% in first nine months of year, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Allianz Global Assistance in bloody annoying Blitish has announced that it has signed new three year contract to continue providing ext - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Manchester United thinking about playing midweek friendly matches abroad in absence of Champions League football. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:52



Wah! Rockar Hyundai Ryundali Motor announces innovative new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine retail experience – ‘Rockar Hyundai’. - news replorted 10:46



Wah! Lender Wonga is paying price - news replorted 10:33



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish economic growth has been revised up to 0.9% for second quarter of year by Office for National Statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! More than 100 construction workers in Ferrybridge, lah, West Yorkshire walk out in row over toilet facilities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Annual profits at payday lender Wonga having fallen by more than half, lah, capitalist entity announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:16



Wah! Radio 1 Breakfast Show host Nick Grimshaw breaks Guinness World twerking record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation is launching campaign to getting every child in land familiar with piece of classical music. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 09:56



Wah! X Men star James Marsden talks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast about male gender human bleing's new film Best of me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero and why bloody man has not seen ending - news replorted 09:53



Wah! The continent-hopping World Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship is gearing up for trip to China. Ai-yaa!!! This is important moment for - news replorted 09:51



Wah! British GQ has again joined forces with connection and networking experts Editorial Intelligence to reavealingly showing Great Satan ‘The 100 - news replorted 09:46



Wah! The prime dodgy minister says bloody man cares "about thousand times more strongly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about keeping bloody annoying Blitish together than bloody man does about staying in EU. - news replorted 09:32



Wah! Is there any chance of compromise in Hong Kong? - news replorted 09:30



Wah! The European Commission publishes garbling written down on paper message sent to Apple accusing it of benefiting from illegal state aid through its tax arrangements in Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:23



Wah! Leading road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has this week achieved ISO standard 39001, lah, adding - news replorted 08:42



Wah! South African opposition party leader Julius Malema is due to go on trial on charges of fraud and money-laundering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:25



Wah! Why two million drivers still refusing to buckle up? - news replorted 08:19



Wah! New technology allows security services to analyse contents of sewers to discover where human bliengs making home-made bombs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:18



Wah! A woman is rescued from Gwynedd harbour after being spotted by fisherman in early hours. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! The annual pace of house price growth slowed to 9.4% in September in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales, lah, according to Nationwide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:57



Wah! Next says recent warm weather has slowed sales growth and adds it might having to cut its profit forecast if warm spell continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:34



Wah! South Yorkshire police's response to reports of sexual abuse has been weak across force, lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Chelsea Clinton leaves New York hospital with flemale human person's baby daughter, lah, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:19



Wah! Two teenagers help choose 40 community groups to benefit from cash seized from criminals in Gwent old bill bobbys force area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:06



Wah! The Met Office says bloody annoying Blitish is on course for its driest September since records began more than century ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Health spending is expected to getting boost when Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government unveils its draft budget for 2015-16. - news replorted 06:52



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport looks back at 50 iconic FA Cup goals in build-up to first round proper, lah, which takes place in November. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:43



Wah! Pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong being urged at stop their campaign "immediately" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and go home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:38



Wah! The Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers secretary of state will later say that Stormont needs to be in best possible shape if it is to take on devolution of corporation tax rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! An Austrian balloon pilot has succeeded in taking balloon deep underground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! World number one golfer Stacy Lewis says bloody woman would be keen to see introduction of mixed-gender 'Ryder Cup' tournament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:21



Wah! Adam Lyth could having been footballer, lah, but male gender human bleing's exploits as Yorkshire batsman having put him on brink of Province of Engrish running-dogs call-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Efforts to recover bodies of at least 24 climbers suspended again after eruption on Japan's Mount Ontake intensifies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:45



Wah! Indian Prime dodgy minister Narendra Modi meets Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama at White House over dinner, lah, ahead of formal talks on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:26



Wah! A large American study suggests young children who given repeated courses of antibiotics more likely than those given fewer drugs to be obese. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:02



Wah! David Cameron pledges more money to ensure seven day GP access across is rolled out across Province of Engrish running-dogs by 2020. - news replorted 04:37



Wah! Home Secretary Theresa May is to tell Conservative Party conference future Tory government will seek new powers to ban extremist groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:25



Wah! The Sunday Mirror apologises to women whose pictures were used in probe that led to Conservative dodgy minister's resignation, lah, but stands by its story. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:50



Wah! Thousands of pro-democracy protesters having continued their demonstration in heart of Hong Kong's financial district. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! Pro-democracy protesters again call on Hong Kong's leader to step down, lah, as huge crowds continue to bring parts of territory to standstill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:28



Wah! A third video has been posted online showing British photographer John Cantlie, lah, who's being held by group which calls itself Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:53



Wah! The video streaming site Netflix will release its first feature-length film in 2015, lah, after striking deal with Weinstein Company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:48



Wah! The number of human bliengs trafficked for slavery or other exploitation in bloody annoying Blitish has risen sharply to more than 2,700, lah, National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:52



Wah! Scientists in Europe having developed sensors for sewers that can detect traces of explosives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! Who was world's first trainspotter? - news replorted 01:16



Wah! A plaque honouring one of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's great forgotten explorers is set to be unveiled at Westminster Abbey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:11



Wah! Printing tradition kept alive in Calcutta - news replorted 01:05



Wah! Fifty five potential victims of human trafficking were identified in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land last year, lah, according to National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:02



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs economy continues to recover with performance at pre-recession levels, lah, according to capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land business monitor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:00



Wah! A third video has appeared featuring British hostage John Cantlie who is being held by Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:58



Wah! Representatives from rival factions in Libya's new parliament having held UN-brokered talks for first clock time result in oasis town of Ghadames. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Ad-free social media platform Ello overcomes technical setback to continue its rapid growth, lah, but one expert questions its business model. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:42



Wah! The National Union of Teachers calls on education secretary to tackle excessive workloads or face more strike action. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:30



Wah! More than half of stillbirths in bloody annoying Blitish could be prevented if NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) implemented additional scans, lah, leading obstetrician tells Panorama. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! More than one in 10 three-year-olds having tooth decay, lah, first survey of age group shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:28



Wah! Ghostly portraits of stars who died young - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Worldwide web inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee talks about male gender human bleing's concerns for internet, lah, as bloody man renews male gender human bleing's call for digital Magna Carta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Sewer sensors to sniff out home-made bombs - news replorted 00:10



Wah! silly kick-kick game League chairman Greg Clarke is accused of "hiding behind excuses" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) while Paul Ince calls for "Rooney Rule". - news replorted 00:10



Wah! How virtual reality is helping build better cities - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Photos of men and women who risk their lives to getting rich in Guinea - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Abused and unpaid - story of African servant in Saudi Arabia - news replorted 00:03



Wah! The startups hoping to transform marijuana industry - news replorted 00:03



Wah! To mark Lionel Messi passing 400 career goals for Barcelona, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport takes look at amazing feats that may lie ahead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Children in South Yorkshire care homes were left vulnerable to sexual abuse because of old bill bobbys "shortcomings", lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The expression "boots on ground" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) may not having been used until about 1980. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron has been put to test by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight, lah, in attempt to establish whether bloody man is "moderniser or "more socially conservative person". - news replorted 00:00



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