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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Nottingham
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Customer Letter: 1402 / 1528
Matthew says...
VOLKSWAGEN SCIROCCOLing why don't you leave a bag of dog poo on the big companies door step and set it on fire so when they stamp it out they get dog muck on their shoe! YOU ROCK!!!!

Good delivery of my Scirocco, very good and polite.

Matthew Rigby
3 Gwenbrook Ave
Chilwell, Beeston

Editor Note: Hahaha! That may be going a bit too far, even from me. Many of the big companies actually resemble a bag of dog poo, how did you know this? Even so, we had a great time, Matt, and I am glad you seem to love the Scirocco. As a heating and ventilation engineer, I have to say you blew hot and cold. Hahaha! :) Hope the Scirocco aircon works, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1258 / 1528
Jason says...
FORD MONDEOLing. This has been a totally hassle-free procedure from start to finish. My new Mondeo is fantastic, your customer service cannot be faulted. I have gone form an old MING mobile to a brand new LING mobile in a few easy steps. See you soon. Good delivery, the car was driven to me and had 180 miles on the clock.

Jason Keetley
21 Coppice Road

Editor Note: Jay, you are the owner of a Shoe and Key shop in the UK gun capital, Nottingham. Therefore, I supplied the SVO Mondeo version (Iraq model) with anti-ballistic glass and bulletproof doors. Hope you like. Make sure you don't use the CS gas dispensers in a built-up area. Roof-mounted machinegun mount was removed at your request, are you sure that wasn't a mistake? If you need a new key, why not cut it yourself? Have a great time in the Mondeo :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1248 / 1528
Daniel says...
 5 Star service, Ling!

A lovely brand new Peugeot 307CC delivered to my door, all via a few clicks of my mouse! You forgot to mention that the 307CC is a top of the range 130bhp 2.0 with leather, cruise, bluetooth and more toys!. Thanks again, excellent delivery.

Daniel Asker
Address Withheld
NG4 ***

Editor Note: Hahahahahaha! Dan; you got more than you bargained for. I thought I would surprise you as I got the chance to grab some higher-spec cars and said YES, so how nice to get loads of stuff you didn't pay for - you only paid £206.99 a month for this car. So cheap! Get you top off, and get cruising :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1213 / 1528
Anthony says...
MAZDA MX-5Although we had problems with the dealer obtaining the car, Ling made me feel like I was her only customer trying to get the best deal. I would use her over and over again, and recommend to anyone. If all businesses were like Ling, the country wouldn't be in this mess. Poor delivery on my Mazda 5, due to the dealer.

Anthony Shipley
18 Jumelles Drive
NG14 6QD

Editor Note: Save the Mazda MX5, save the world :) I am auditioning with Gordon Brown for the next series of "Heroes". My special power will be to kill car dealers with just one glance. I am sick and tired of the state of UK car dealers letting the side down, when will they (ever) improve??? I blame my tools, and these tools are not very sharp tools! Tony, you at least have a car suitable for Global Warming. Get the top down :) Br careful, you are in the UK gun capital. Use the MX-5 power to swerve away from incoming rounds. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1120 / 1528
Assim says...
VAUXHALL ANTARAI was delighted to be buying from the amusing Ling, a truly independent company. She was the cheapest in the market but offered the best level of service, without any of the pushy sales staff - amazing. I am not sure about the Lingo system and Ling - are you really replying to all those emails yourself. The Lingo system does not work with Blackberry too well. I will definitely and have already passed your website to friends. Good delivery, the dealer dropped the Antara off well and were very helpful. Thanks Ling

Assim Ishaque Limited
Renewal House
3 Hawksworth Road

Editor Note: Assim, of course I reply everything! You can see me on the office webcams, typing away like mad! :) In the background, my team is chasing dealers and fin companies etc. I'm glad you thought I had best level of service. Hope you enjoy the Antara. I have given you hyperlink for your business, Envirup, which is a dynamic and client focused Environmental Consultancy. It delivers pragmatic, innovative and cost effective solutions to improve the clients Environmental Sustainability profile. They will benefit from improved profitability, reduced environmental impact and enhanced environmental credibility. - Ling

Customer Letter: 927 / 1528
Gordon says...
CarI was slightly apprehensive about entering into a lease car contract. However, all my anxieties were calmed as I entered into communication with "Ling".

Her easy but efficient business manner inspired my confidence. My Nissan Qashqai was delivered on time as promised in "Mint" condition. I would have no hesitation in recommending friends, family or business contacts to deal with Ling's company.

Delivery was excellent, the car arrived on time as promised - that is the correct way to treat a customer.

Gordon McKellar
10 Valerian Way
NG13 8UR

Editor Note: Thanks for that comprehensive letter, Gordon. I do understand it can be a big decision and daunting to trust me with a new car, but that is why this letters page is so great. Other customers can read your letter and get confidence to make up their own minds. Thanks again. Have a lovely time in the Qashqai. - Ling

Customer Letter: 914 / 1528
Ian says...
CarAlthough slightly mad, Ling is very efficient! I sorted my new Honda Civic Type-R out with only a few emails and a couple of docs to sign. The car turned up nearly four-weeks early and with a free scratch, too! I would recommend Ling without problem. Delivery was average, the car had a scratch and was dirty.

Ian Finney
Penhale Embroidery
Unit 2, Evans Yard

Editor Note: Hmmm, I have shouted at the supplier and they instantly agreed to fix the scratch. I also shouted at them because the car was dirty. You sent me the picture of the scratch, below... but I also show an example of your embroidery. I would recommend your company to anyone who needs quality logos or designs, embroidered on clothing. Just want one Polo Shirt for a special occasion? Gang of friends want a few “On Tour” T-Shirts? Birthday gift of a Bath Robe? No problem for Penhale! Thanks for the letter, Ian! I give you hyperlink to help make up for having to wash the car.
Honda scratch Penhale Embroidery - what a client!
- Ling

Customer Letter: 882 / 1528
Claire says...
CarThank you so much, Ling. The Citroen Relay is very good. Excellent service. Excellent delivery.

Regency Moulding & Fireplaces Ltd
Old Town Hall
Station Road

Editor Note: Wow, Claire, such a short letter, but straight to the point. This is your third van from me. That's brill. Talk again soon - for your fourth! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 867 / 1528
Gordon says...
CarHello Ling, many thanks for your help in securing the registration number for my impending Nissan Qashqai. I am more than impressed by your efficiency in dealing with client problems. It is very inspiring to witness at first hand the speed in which you respond with advice and guidance to daily business. A grateful client, thank you Ling.

Gordon McKellar
address withheld
NG13 ***

Editor Note: Wow, a lovely letter and I haven't even delivered the bloody car yet! :) No problem, I try to do things as fast as possible, Gordon. Don't get shot in Nottingham while you are waiting for your car. - Ling

Customer Letter: 865 / 1528
Antonio says...
CarThank you very much for a great service. All the paperwork was quick and easy. Delivery of my new Lexus IS 220 was excellent - even free training on how to use all the gadgets. Extremely good. I would recommend LINGsCARS to anyone (I'm doing it!).

Antonio Moreira
24 Crusader House
Thurland Street

Editor Note: Tony, you are a bloody star, thanks for passing my name around, I appreciate it. Your Lexus was cheap, fast and is a beautiful new car - I hope you are very happy with it. As you are a database administrator in the gun capital of the UK (hehehe), I appreciate your comments about my service. We both know the answer to EVERYTHING is "a database". - Ling

Customer Letter: 840 / 1528
Claire says...
CarHiya Ling, Thank you so much, again! We just placed an order for another van (a Citroen Relay, your 3rd van from me - Ling) as your service exceeded our expectations. Excellent delivery. Many thanks.

Regency Moulding & Fireplaces Ltd
Old Town Hall
Station Road

Editor Note: Wow!!!! That;'s 3 x vans. I am so proud when customers like you come back, Claire. It shows I can give consistently good service. I hope these vans earn their keep. Lovely to deal with you, thanks for the letter! - Ling

Customer Letter: 777 / 1528
Victoria says...
CarSorry for taking an age to send this letter - I've been busy enjoying my new Audi Q7!

I just wanted to say how easy you made getting my Q7. Excellent service, a fantastic experience dealing with you - so simple and excellent communication, too! My car was delivered on time in excellent condition. Cheers.

Victoria Bainbridge
56 High Street
NG15 7AX

Editor Note: Vicki, well, you are a Director of Specsavers. I am so happy you didn't tell me you should have gone to Specsavers for your new car :). These Audi Q7s are lovely cars, so big and comfy - but fast and sporty 4x4s, too. Enjoy it! I will avoid Vision Express in the future :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 757 / 1528
Steve says...

What can I say about Ling? As mad as a hatter but very helpful and on the ball when it comes to getting everything organised. I think Ling must sleep in the office, as whenever I emailed I got a response within minutes, sometimes seconds. Got my two Fiat Grande Puntos an I am very happy, with Ling's help... and her team as well (sorry team). Bit of a mix up on delivery but all OK in the end.

Steve Wardle
Diamond Design & Print
Unit M21D Ash Court
Moorgreen Industrial Park
Engine Lane
NG16 3QU

Editor Note: Steve, I am typing this from my bed in my office :) The mix-up was a scratch on one of the cars before delivery, so I simply organised delivery of an identical car and advised you of the reg number change. Hope these two Grande Puntos do a great job for your company. Glad to be mad a s a hatter (whatever a "hatter" is). I should Google it. - Ling

Customer Letter: 724 / 1528
Clair says...
CarLove the car, Ling!

Great service from you, bright red makes it look like a Royal Mail car, I just need to get a uniform now. Thank you, see you in 2-year's time.

Clair Repton
25 Wensleydale Close
NG31 8FH

Editor Note: Pat, oooops, I mean Clair, I have included a picture of you, your cat and your new BMW 1-series, below. You will have lots of time to enjoy it, while you are on strike :) Thanks for the letter which arrived chewed, open, and 4 weeks late.
image - Ling

Customer Letter: 649 / 1528
Peter says...
CarHi Ling!

Sorry for the delay - been having too much fun with my new toy! (definitely a superb car to drive, I'd recommend it to anyone).

Anyway, the main point of this email is to thank you very much for your efforts in acquiring this car for me.

There were times in recent weeks when I was beginning to wonder if I would ever get it and you must have got sick of me keep asking when, when, when... so thank you again for your patience.

Even though the deal seemed to take ages from start to finish, I do realise that it was down to events that you had no control over (ie. holidays, shortage of Ford cars etc).

Rest assured, I will have no hesitation in recommending your services to anyone I know who is considering car leasing (personal or business). Hopefully, if I'm still in employment in 3 years time, (and you're still in the business), you'll be hearing from me again regarding a replacement and I promise I'll try to be more patient next time round.

So, best wishes for the future and keep up the brilliant website.

Peter Graham Kirkpatrick
108 Denton Avenue
NG31 7SH

Editor Note: Peter, yes, everyone has been saying these Mondeos are lovely cars, they are just starting to come through. Ford have been having difficulties (like most manufacturers always do with new cars) and supplies are difficult. I will still be here in 3-years, unless I'm on a tropical island, drinking Bailey's and watching another sunset :) Thanks for being patient! - Ling

Customer Letter: 622 / 1528
Claire says...
CarHiya Ling! Everything has been great. You were so helpful with everything. We will be needing another van soon, so I will be in touch! We had a really good deal from you, thanks. Fantastic delivery.

Claire Sheridan
Regency Moulding and Fireplaces Ltd
Old Town Hall
Station Road

Editor Note: Claire, yes, your van was very cheap. These Berlingos are great value. I do loads. Also, you got a good deal because your van had CD, electric windows, ABS and central locking. I wonder how many fireplaces you can fit in the back? I give you a bloody hyperlink to your website! Talk soon :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 598 / 1528
Paul says...
CarHi Ling. Would you believe I've had yet another windscreen fitted (£60 excess) last Friday, but the car is fine and enjoyable. I have recommended you to lots of "cash for car" hopefuls - they like your website; informative and to the point without jargon no-one understands. The fact that we can speak to someone personally and not a salesman, tells you all. Mercedes was delivered on time - immaculate. Thanks for the meals, hole in one!

Paul Wilson
19 Lascelles Ave

Editor Note: Paul, well you are unlucky with screens, in Nottingham it may be bullets that are cracking them :). Keep your head down in your car, heheh. Thanks for the lovely comments, no problem feeding you. Enjoy the damn C-Class. - Ling

Customer Letter: 554 / 1528
David says...

Thank you for sorting me out with a new SAAB Sportwagon in very quick time. I realise I only gave you under two weeks to arrange it... but you worked hard to ensure my car was ready when I needed it.

Thanks again,

David Grant
21 Lamb Close
NG24 4RT

Editor Note: Pay attention everyone! I cannot always deliver this fast. David contacted me just at the right time, so I could do this. He was also quite perfect with supplying the proofs and info I required.

So, David, you have a lovely new SAAB Sportswagon 9-3 estate, eh? Hope you are pleased with the 150bhp diesel and the Airflow spec :) - get driving! - Ling

Customer Letter: 531 / 1528
Nigel says...
 "Hi Ling, We would like to say a very big thank you for your help and assistance in leasing our Vauxhall Astra SRi. This was the first time leasing a car and your help and advice was invaluable throughout! Your friendly and professional service was exceptional, as was your relentless sense of humour.

When we originally embarked on leasing a car we trawled the Internet for the best price, and we came across, run by a crazy Chinese lady (!) with an interest in nuclear missiles. However, I'm glad we did, as we found not only the best price on the car we were looking for, but also a personal service which was second to none. Ling responded to all our emails almost immediately, giving advice where needed and always signing off with the obligatory Chinese humour.

All in all we were fully informed throughout and the car was delivered politely and excellently on the set date. I would highly recommend to anybody.

Ling - don't lose the sense of humour and keep up the good work :)"

Nigel Allen
17 Wadsworth Road

Editor Note: Nigel, you are a web project manager at Rolls Royce! I think that is the aero-engine, not the car company. It really pleases me that my website and service is appreciated by someone in your position at a company that makes excellence its trademark. Thanks for the letter! Since you had your car, I have had several more applications for cars with "@rolls-royce" in the email address! Enjoy the bloody fast (and cheap) Astra - Ling

Customer Letter: 413 / 1528
Lee says...
BMW 1-SERIES"Ling, thank you very much for sorting out my new BMW 1-Series - I'm very pleased and I can't wait to order my next car from you. Very pleased with the delivery, excellent! Keep up the good work!"

Lee Merrin
1 Park Street
Long Eaton
NG10 4NA

Editor Note: Another BMW customer, eh? Last year (2006) I delivered over 100 BMWs. Glad you are pleased, even though another customer told me her 1-Series looks like a donkey! Maybe it's the nose. Take care, Lee! - Ling

Customer Letter: 335 / 1528
Alan says...
MERCEDES C-CLASS SALOON"Ling provided excellent customer service and as competitive a price as I could find. I would always rather deal with a smaller company, than a large one, for better customer service. I would recommend Ling stongly and I will use her again."

Alan Forsyth
53 Crusader House
Thurland Street

Editor Note: Hehehe, you have brand new Mercedes C-class cheaper than any Merc dealer could provide, Alan. Bigger companies not ALWAYS worse, but usually have bigger overheads. Just imagine what a Mercedes-Benz showroom costs to open every day! Have great time in new Merc! - Ling

Customer Letter: 273 / 1528
Malcolm says...
CarWhen I first heard of Ling, it was the "head on the body of a Dalek" that caught my attention (some people say I have similar personality to Dalek - Ling). After contacting her for a quote (for an unlisted car), I found the whole service and flow of communication to be clear and free of jargon. The Mazda 6 was delivered early and all aspects of operation explained - excellent! Where so many companies employ faceless people with personality bypasses, it is great do deal with a human being (I not often called THAT! - Ling). I will recommend Ling to anyone who is looking for a new car, without hesitation.

Malcolm McDonald
8 St Lawrence Boulevard
Radcliffe on Trent
NG12 2DY

Editor Note: You very bloody kind customer, Malcolm, you write very sweet letter. Nottingham very dangerous place, you should take care. Maybe I rent you Dalek body for protection on mean streets - Ling

Customer Letter: 265 / 1528
Malcolm says...
CarLing, the car (Mazda 6 - Ling) has just been delivered, and can I say thank you very much for all your help and assistance. I am extremely chuffed!

Malcolm McDonald
8 St Lawrence Boulevard
NG12 2DY

Editor Note: Malcolm, despite Mazda being damn Japanese brand and despite the Managing Director banning me from selling his cars (now lifted - something to do with me saying Americans did right thing to nuclear bomb Japan and turning up at dealership in my Nuclear Missile Truck - heh), I am pleased to sell you this car. Mazda 6 is actually very nice car. Glad to have you as very nice customer - Ling

Customer Letter: 201 / 1528
Mark says...
CarA first class service at every stage of the rental process. Professional, friendly and extremely efficient and helpful in every respect. I was recommended to use and now I will be recommending others to do the same.

Mark Garwood
2A Northfield Road
NG34 8RT

Editor Note: Mark, you are very kind to me, but I simply do my best. Hope you enjoy new top spec C200 Mercedes. Glad you say dealer was top-notch too, they will be damn pleased - Ling

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- Ling


The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
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Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
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Vance Business Park
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Wah! Nick Thompson wins bronze medal for Great Britain in Laser class at Sailing World Championships in Santander. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:57

Wah! A British man has been killed in incident on Greek island of Santorini, lah, Bloody foreign Office confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:55

Wah! Volvo Trucks' deliveries: rainy coldddd month August 2014 In rainy coldddd month August 6,939 Wolwo trucks were delivered, lah, decrease of 9% compared with same month last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:49

Wah! A new video is released showing British man believed to be held hostage by Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:29

Wah! A wildfire threatening thousands of homes in central California doubled in size overnight, lah, burning 111 square miles (288 sq-km). - news replorted 15:29

Wah! Officials in Chile say three human bliengs having been arrested in connection with bomb that hurtee-hurtee 14 human bliengs at subway station in Santiago earlier this month. - news replorted 15:10

Wah! The Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) is system "under pressure" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and ambulance service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is "not where we wanting it to be", lah, Health dodgy minister Mark Drakeford tells AMs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:08

Wah! A team of health workers in Guinea, lah, who were trying to raise awareness about Ebola, lah, missing and may having been kidnapped, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:05

Wah! Conwy council votes to open talks with neighbouring Denbighshire over possible voluntary merger of their local authorities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:16

Wah! A sugar capitalist entity is fighting back against perceived demonisation of sugar by media. Ai-yaa!!! Does it having point, lah, asks Tom Heyden. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:15

Wah! A doctor who told patient threatening to kill herself to "go and jolly well it now" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is suspended for three months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:13

Wah! The BBC's Jeremy Bowen has travelled with Syrian Tommy Atkins Liberation Army to front line where forces fighting what they call religious extremists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:13

Wah! NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) workers in Province of Engrish running-dogs having voted in favour of striking over pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:08

Wah! A Great Satan Senate report suggests hackers associated with Super-Duper-Chinese-State government broke into computers of airlines and ships. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:54

Wah! A man who killed male gender human bleing's wife and young son in Midlothian has been found guilty of both their murders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:31

Wah! Halloween quiz trail in Museum Look out for some strange happenings in neighbourhood at Beaulieu this Octoblinger Half Term, lah, 25th Oct – 2nd Nov - it wi - news replorted 13:27

Wah! MP Damian Green has come to defence of Lord Hill as British Candidate for European Commissioner, lah, describing objections to male gender human bleing's appointment as "barrel-scraping argument". - news replorted 13:24

Wah! Local councils across Welsh land of sheep and more sheep being urged to submit plans to merge voluntarily, lah, rather than be forced to. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:08

Wah! Kumho links brands with La Liga Kumho Tyre brand will be to fore at La Liga BBVA silly kick-kick game matches throughout 2014/2015 season, lah, following - news replorted 13:08

Wah! The jury in sex abuse trial of former Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation broadcaster Dave Lee Travis retires to consider its verdicts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:06

Wah! Ole Gunnar Solskjaer cites "difference in philosophy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on leaving Cardiff manager role after less than nine months in charge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:02

Wah! Director of damn crazy Engrish baseball game Martyn Moxon says Yorkshire will support captain Andrew Gale against charge of racism offence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:58

Wah! A French aid worker from medical charity Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has contracted Ebola virus in Liberia, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:53

Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has lodged formal protest with Russian authorities after news team from Moscow bureau was attacked in south of country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:51

Wah! Silver Anniversary spectacular in 2015 As tradition dictates next summer’s spectacular Silverstone Classic will be held at Britain’s premier race circuit over - news replorted 12:42

Wah! Torture has become such integral part of policing in Nigeria that many stations having informal torture officer, lah, Amnesty International says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:31

Wah! Taylor Hansen Controlled Power Technologies (CPT) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has incorporated Great Satan subsidiary, lah, appointing Taylor Hansen as vice president respons - news replorted 12:27

Wah! The Motorsport Industry Association 20th Anniversary logo MIA School of Race Engineering, lah, which is taking place on 27-28 September, lah, will be held at Silverstone, lah, in headqu - news replorted 12:24

Wah! A Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation documentary team has filmed hundreds of refugees being held back by French old bill bobbys as they attempt to board trucks and other vehicling driving car machines heading to Britain from Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:22

Wah! It's Caption Challenge. What the hell I mean??!! Oh yes it is. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:13

Wah! A new documentary is being released telling story of aborted film project from 1945 which would provide evidence of Nazi crimes for German audiences - news replorted 12:05

Wah! Apple iPhone and iPad users take to social media to express their frustration over installing company's latest software update. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:04

Wah! The two men who died when helicopter crashed off East Yorkshire coast named by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:03

Wah! Formula 1 boss Bernie Ecclestone says bloody man was behind ban on teams giving drivers advice over radio. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:00

Wah! Jeremy Vine breaks down council areas in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land that will decide referendum result. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:52

Wah! Some Westminster landmarks normally closed to public, lah, including Downing Street, lah, will be open this weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:51

Wah! A South African rescue team flies to Nigeria to help locate missing South Africans believed to having been inside church hostel when it collapsed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:51

Wah! For fifth consecutive year, lah, Freight Transport Association (FTA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is joining together with eclectic coalition o - news replorted 11:50

Wah! Obesity is new smoking in terms of impact on health and cost to NHS, lah, head of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:46

Wah! Winning images of twinkling stars and swirling gases - news replorted 11:19

Wah! Two teenagers arrested after 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is found dead at house in Bathgate, lah, West Lothian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:19

Wah! Nicola Sturgeon and Alex Salmond of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs National Party, lah, and Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown and Alistair Darling from Better Together, lah, having all been casting their votes in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:17

Wah! Medics in rebel-held Syria accidentally gave muscle relaxant to up to 75 children instead of measles vaccine, lah, killing 15, lah, opposition says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:17

Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep rise to their highest world ranking for 20 years after climbing 12 places to join ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in joint 29th. - news replorted 11:13

Wah! Britain's candidate for European Commissioner is to face 'very tough' hearing over male gender human bleing's suitability for role of overseeing financial services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:12

Wah! Six women having been convicted of operating "pyramid" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) scheme in which thousands of investors lost money. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:11

Wah! India and China sign 12 agreements, lah, one of which will see China investing $20bn in India's infrastructure over five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:10

Wah! A derelict hospital building, lah, Dunain House, lah, near Inverness is destroyed by fire on Wednesday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:48

Wah! Six women convicted of operating "pyramid" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) scheme in south-west Province of Engrish running-dogs and south Wales, lah, in which thousands of investors lost money. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:43

Wah! The last flying Vulcan, lah, XH558 takes to skies As we approach 25th Anniversary of fall of Berlin Wall (Novemblinger 9th), lah, last flying example of Britain’s - news replorted 10:42

Wah! A Super-Duper-Chinese-State newspaper calls for clarification about China's envoy to Iceland, lah, who has gone missing amid rumours bloody man was Japanese spy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:33

Wah! Five human bliengs killed after violent storms unleash flash flood at camp site in Herault in southern France. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:25

Wah! The Duchess of Cambridge, lah, who is pregnant with second child, lah, will not visit Malta this weekend on advice of doctors, lah, Kensington Palace says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:10

Wah! old bill bobbys searching for 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Alice Gross treating man with murder conviction as suspect in flemale human person's disappearance. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:09

Wah! A number of World fighty bang-bang One and Two munitions having been detonated by bomb disposal experts after large haul was found in house in Hertfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:05

Wah! Motorist organisation, lah, RAC, lah, and DVLA having clashed over policing of LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine tax with claim (always claiming, huh?) of increased evasion amid changes to system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 10:03

Wah! Birmingham old bill bobbys having asked for help to identify man caught on CCTV attempting to take piece of art from city centre gallery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Russians find their relatives killed in Ukraine conflict forgotten - news replorted 09:52

Wah! bloody annoying Blitish retail sales rose by 0.4% in rainy coldddd month August compared with previous month, lah, with sales volumes up 3.9% from year earlier, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:52

Wah! The Rexus NX And Frame Future Design Rexus NX and stars of Striking Angles, lah, television commercial for new luxury crossover that h - news replorted 09:51

Wah! Volvo Trucks will be exhibiting six trucks Together with the, bloody dealering idiot place network in Republic of Ireland, lah, Wolwo Trucks is exhibiting at National Ploughing Champi - news replorted 09:42

Wah! The BBC's Nina Warhurst talks to golfers in Cheshire about vote by Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrew's, lah, ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, on admitting women for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:42

Wah! As Royal & Ancient Golf Club votes whether to admit women members, lah, where distinctions between sexes remain? - news replorted 09:26

Wah! A sex attack by two teenagers on boy in cellar in Gloucester could not having been anticipated or prevented, lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:18

Wah! If you tellibly lovely custlingmer eligible blue badge holder you tellibly lovely custlingmer may wanting to find out more about parking safely in public spaces. Eating rice!! Let Great Satan gui - news replorted 09:04

Wah! New research amongst British motorists has revealed that despite recent rising inflation and slower wage growth, lah, 45 per - news replorted 09:00

Wah! An investigation is being carried out after woman died in ambulance while waiting in queue of around 15 emergency vehicling driving car machines outside hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:54

Wah! A major international study finds that killings among chimpanzees result from normal competition, lah, not human interference. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:43

Wah! Nick Cave becomes reluctant film star - news replorted 08:41

Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State online giant Alibaba is expected to set price of its shares later in what could be record-breaking initial public offering in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:14

Wah! The all-new Wolwo XC90 R-Design Wolwo Cars has released first images of R-Design version of all new XC90, lah, aimed at buyers looking for head - news replorted 08:00

Wah! The process for appointing new old bill bobbys commissioner for South Yorkshire is set to begin following resignation of Shaun Wright. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:40

Wah! Teenager among more than 500 human bliengs given pauper's funeral, lah, with claim (always claiming, huh?) they could put "increasing strain" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on public purse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:37

Wah! It has been bumper year for edible plants and berries according to Woodland Trust, lah, who say this autumn could see best fruit crop since records began. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:37

Wah! The last two airworthy Lancaster bombers in world to fly over Derwent Dam, lah, echoing famous Dambusters raid practised there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:27

Wah! A Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation team has been attacked in southern Russia after investigating reports of Russian servicemen killed near border with Ukraine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:09

Wah! A man dies in road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu accident in Leven, lah, Fife, lah, in early hours of Thursday morning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:00

Wah! The all-new Plugleot 308 GT Hatchback and SW With 40 cars across 4,000sqm stand in Hall One of Paris Motor Show, lah, Plugleot is revealing revitalised and unified - news replorted 07:00

Wah! The Plugleot QUARTZ Concept Plugleot QUARTZ Concept unveils new vision for Crossover segment at 2014 Paris Motor Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! This next genera - news replorted 07:00

Wah! Politicians in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep await result of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs referendum on independence as voting gets under way. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:49

Wah! old bill bobbys in Thailand say they having still not formally identified any suspects in murder of British tourists Hannah Witheridge and David Miller. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:42

Wah! Taiwan's government says it will impose harsher penalties for food safety violations after "gutter oil" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) scandal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:33

Wah! The mother of 21-earth-years old happy birthday to you, County Armagh man criticises Southern Health trust for "failing flemale human person's son" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after bloody man died weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after routine ear operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:21

Wah! A senior Home Office advisor has told Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that Islamic state extremism and Rotherham abuse scandal fuelling far-right backlash in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:19

Wah! World powers set to resume talks in New York with Iran, lah, but diplomats say breakthrough on its disputed nuclear programme is unlikely. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:07

Wah! Fiji's former military leader, lah, Frank Bainimarama, lah, looks on course to win majority in first polls in island nation in eight years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:47

Wah! Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko is beginning key visit to Great Satan to seek further support to tackle what bloody man describes as Russian aggression. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:23

Wah! Intel says it has several manufacturers building new computers based on novel dual-screen laptop concept it has just unveiled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:20

Wah! As Alibaba prepares to float in New York, lah, what view will investors there take of Super-Duper-Chinese-State e-commerce giant? - news replorted 03:18

Wah! The pitfalls of living in one of America’s most desirable cities - news replorted 02:57

Wah! Sony shares fall by 12% at start of trade in Tokyo, lah, after it warned of bigger losses for full year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:42

Wah! Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer is arrested on suspicion of domestic violence, lah, old bill bobbys say, lah, latest such incident to rock NFl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 02:41

Wah! British Muslim leaders call for immediate release of Alan Henning, lah, bloody annoying Blitish hostage threatened with death by Islamic State extremists in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:30

Wah! Australian old bill bobbys say they having carried out biggest counter-terrorism operation in country's history. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:16

Wah! Medical staff go on trial in Argentina charged with kidnapping babies born in captivity to left-wing prisoners during military rule. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:06

Wah! Islamic extremism in Middle East and Rotherham abuse scandal fuelling bloody annoying Blitish far-right backlash, lah, Home Office adviser claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:54

Wah! Can blind human bliengs see in their dreams? - news replorted 01:37

Wah! Pointless host Alexander Armstrong will voice Danger Mouse when much-loved cartoon hero returns to TV next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:25

Wah! Powerful and disturbing paintings by survivors of 1945 atomic bomb in Hiroshima to go on show outside Japan for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:24

Wah! Plans that could increase student numbers by 20% having not been adequately funded, lah, policy analysis report warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:21

Wah! A new drug to treat skin cancer should be made available on NHS, lah, health body has recommended. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:14

Wah! A British nurse who recovered from Ebola travels to Great Satan to donate blood to try to save life of another victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of virus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05

Wah! The Super-Duper-Chinese-State internet giant Alibaba is set to raise billions on Great Satan stock exchange and is expected to be one of biggest share offerings in history. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:52

Wah! Australian old bill bobbys make arrests in Sydney and Brisbane in what they say is biggest counter-terrorism operation in country's history. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:50

Wah! The Great Satan House of Representatives approves President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's plan to train and arm moderate Syrian opposition taking on Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:47

Wah! How will we shop in 2020? - news replorted 00:42

Wah! The artists helping mourners remember lost loved ones - news replorted 00:38

Wah! How plane passengers rose up in Pakistan - news replorted 00:25

Wah! Survivors tell story of Nairobi's Westgate siege - news replorted 00:22

Wah! The North American farmers who having started to plant wasabi - news replorted 00:20

Wah! Jose Mourinho says after Chelsea's draw with Schalke that Diego Costa is not yet ready to start more than one game week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:13

Wah! US filmmaker Frederick Wiseman talks to Tom Brooks about male gender human bleing's documentary on National Gallery - news replorted 00:04

Wah! What will Alibaba with $25bn? - news replorted 00:03

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