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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Showing Letters from Plymouth
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Customer Letter: 1344 / 1528
Martin says...
 Hi Ling, sorry I've taken so long for this feedback but have started a new job! Ling, you were brilliant, I would recommend you to anybody. Good communication, you do exactly what you say on the tin! Brilliant delivery, car on time and washed. Many thanks Ling.

Martin Yardley
Address Withheld
PL3 ***

Editor Note: On my tin, it still says "Made in China", hahahaha! I withhold your address as you are important person in Armed Forces and I do not want responsibility for terrorist incident. I forgive you for delay while you are on Tour of Duty with Band of Brothers. Thanks, Tommy Atkins for being super customer. Glad they managed to wash your Volvo C30... There is a war on, you know! - Ling

Customer Letter: 905 / 1528
Ian says...
CarHaving never leased before, I had my reservations. Ling made the leasing of my new Nissan Qashqai a joyful hassle free experience. I would definitely recommended Ling to all who wish to lease. A hardworking truly professional lady. Thanks Ling, I'll be back and the rest of my family. Delivery was excellent, by a very caring, professional company.

Ian Bealey
24 Chepston Ave

Editor Note: Ian, well... again I find it difficult to know what to say, your letter is so kind. Thanks for completing every bit of paperwork so efficiently! I have never been to Plymouth, maybe I should visit if all the people there are as nice as you? Thanks! - Ling

Customer Letter: 766 / 1528
Roger says...
CarThank you Ling for the early delivery of our Nissan Qashqai. The contract has been dealt with in a professional, yet personal manner. My Qashqai was delivered on time by a pleasant and careful driver. Your documentation and procedures are exceptional - leaving nothing to chance. There are many Government departments that should use your advice! Will be back in 3-years. Thanks!!

Roger Hanson
48 Southland Park Road

Editor Note: Here we go, another senior Fireman, you were a Deputy Chief Fire Officer until very recently. I am surprised you didn't want a bright red Qashqai :) Thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot coming from a senior professional like you, Roger. Have a great time in your new Nissan. - Ling

Customer Letter: 601 / 1528
Keith says...
CarLing is a comlete nutter; how refreshing it is to do business with someone like myself. She says it as it is, no bullshit. Just good service.

Always there when you need her, this has been a great business transaction. My new Vauxhall Zafira is the bollocks! Just what I asked for. Thank you Ling, you fruit cake.

Keith Hall
Entertainment Services
14A Byard Close

Editor Note: Ok, well, I hope "fruit cake" is a good thing :) Anyway, so pleased you are happy with your Zafira, Keith. I must mention your business -, where you offer such fantastic performers as "Status Clone" and "The Fake Bee Gees". Would recommend anyone needing to book a turn for an event... to visit your site. I give you hyperlink, a rare honour :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 537 / 1528
Paul says...
MAZDA MX-5"Thanks very much for the car, it's great! As this was my first time leasing a car (!!) I was very wary and a few people thought I was mad. But there was no need to panic, the MX5 arrived on time as promised and everyone, including myself, is very impressed. Keep up the good work. Hope you get more MX-5s before my lease runs out."

Paul Henderson
20 Redvers Grove

Editor Note: You are an Engineer, Paul... so you appreciate the quality of the design of the MX-5. A shame Mazda UK have to be so nasty to me. Never mind, I still manage to supply and all my customers are very happy, as you show. I am sure Mazda will see sense, one day, and stop persecuting me :) There is one particular dealer who hates me for "stealing" their customers, they think everyone should pay full price, through the nose and they insist Mazda UK twist the knife into me. Thanks for being a great customer - Ling

Customer Letter: 532 / 1528
Ann says...
MERCEDES A-CLASS"Totally seamless and friendly service, I was kept informed throughout by email. I would recommend without any reservation - delivery was slick and prompt and the driver was very helpful explaining about all my new gizmos. My Mercedes A-Class arrived immaculately and very promptly. Thoroughly recommended!!"

Ann Stamp
Callaway Cottage
PL30 4HD

Editor Note: Hmmm, ANOTHER Internet professional! You are a Director of an Internet Credit Agency, Ann, so I put a big "+" sign next to any recommendation from you :). Plus, how amazing that the delivery was exactly on time, considering you live in the middle of nowhere! Thanks again, enjoy the baby Benz car - Ling

Customer Letter: 106 / 1528
Marc says...
It was nice to have someone trying to help for a change, not seeing what they themselves can get out of it. I would not hesitate to recommend to anyone.

Marc Dando
Fluke Art
Fore Street
West Looe
PL13 2HA

Editor Note: Marc, it is very strange. I seem to sell many cars to Cornwall. Maybe I should visit beautiful place? Maybe no good car suppliers in your end of wood? I do not run business just for love, but I love to run my business. This is why you feel difference - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  What clock time result of day to squid fly, lah, and other news nuggets - news replorted 16:45

Wah! LATEST:  The week's big numbers visualised. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:32

Wah! Calls for referendum on income tax powers for Welsh land of sheep and more sheep rejected by first minister, lah, despite pledge by David Cameron on minimum funding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 16:14

Wah! A bigamist is jailed for life after being found guilty of murdering male gender human bleing's second wife and hiding flemale human person's body in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine boot. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 16:12

Wah! Robin Brant reports from UKIP's Spring Conference in Margate, lah, event senior party figure describes as 'get Nigel elected' rally. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:10

Wah! A Swansea man already jailed for trying to abduct schoolboy last year, lah, has been convicted of sexually assaulting another child more than 20 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:06

Wah! News photos from around world - news replorted 15:56

Wah! A County Tyrone missionary midwife recalls moment when bloody woman grabbed gun being aimed at flemale human person's and was shot in shoulder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:51

Wah! Mexican security forces confirm arrest of country's most wantinged drug lord - Knights Templar chief Servando 'La Tuta' Gomez. - news replorted 15:45

Wah! Eight human bliengs having been killed and one person hurtee-hurtee in series of shootings in Great Satan state of Missouri, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:42

Wah! Manor Marussia named on 10-team entry list for start of 2015 Formula 1 season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:38

Wah! Porsche Boxster GTS Porsche is proving it is benchmark sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine manufacturer once again, lah, with announcement today of two of its lat - news replorted 15:28

Wah! Dame Sarah Storey talks about flemale human person's toughest task to date as Paralympic champion attempts to break hour record on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:27

Wah! A South African girl has been found 17 years after bloody woman was stolen from flemale human person's mother shortly after being born in Cape Town hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 15:21

Wah! Dr. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Herbert Diess will take up male gender human bleing's appointment as full member of Board of Management of Wlokswaglon AG at earli - news replorted 15:21

Wah! A numeracy charity's challenge prompts beauty giant L'Oreal to change advert boasting about not being velly damn good boiled chicken-feet at maths. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:13

Wah! Volkswagen Group: Solid performance in first nine months... Wlokswaglon Group improved its earnings strength again in 2014 and continued along its qualitative growth path despit - news replorted 15:11

Wah! A pensioner is found guilty of raping 24-earth-years old happy birthday to you, woman in north Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:02

Wah! The slowdown in Great Satan economy at end of last year was more pronounced than previously thought, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 14:54

Wah! New Plugleot Partner Tepee In 1996 Plugleot created new category of private cars: that of leisure activity vehicling driving car machines. Eating rice!! spaciousness and practica - news replorted 14:46

Wah! FIAT 500 Ron Arad Edition Fliat 500 ‘Ron Arad’ has just gone on sale in bloody annoying Blitish – distinctive new special edition which is instantly recognisa - news replorted 14:39

Wah! Fifa president Sepp Blatter says Qatar 2022 World Cup final should be played no later than 18 December. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:37

Wah! New Plugleot Partner Plugleot revolutionised small van segment in 1996 with Partner Van and its original one-box body style, lah, entirely - news replorted 14:33

Wah! Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe admits failures in country's controversial land reform programme, lah, saying some farms were "too big". - news replorted 14:29

Wah! People should listen to music for no more than one hour day to protect their hearing, lah, World Health Organization suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:27

Wah! Toyota Manufacturing bloody annoying Blitish (TMUK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has earned title of Britain’s best training partner in 2015 SEMTA Skills Awar - news replorted 14:25

Wah! New Plugleot Partner new Plugleot Partner and Partner Tepee both benefit from changes in styling and technology. You give me happy happy luck luck. assertive design of t - news replorted 14:24

Wah! Russia's president says bloody man is cutting salaries of male gender human bleing's staff by 10%, lah, as Russia's finances hit by low oil prices and Western sanctions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:11

Wah! A decision over when fresh inquest can start over death of Pte Cheryl James at Deepcut barracks in Surrey is delayed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:01

Wah! A debate has raged on social media over wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour of dress which looks different to different people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:53

Wah! A book about evolution of genitals is shortlisted for this year's Diagram Prize for oddest book title of year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:52

Wah! Carrie Green, lah, Maserati 100 winner, lah, and guest at Maserati 100 event Last night, lah, some of biggest names in British business joined Maserati and Centre for Entrepreneurs to celebrate - news replorted 13:51

Wah! Google has changed its mind about forcing sexually explicit blogs on its Blogger platform to become private. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:33

Wah! The strategically important city of Mariupol is being defended not only by regular Ukrainian Tommy Atkins Liberation Army troops but also by fighters who swear allegiance to Azov Battalion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:22

Wah! Zelda Williams says there is "no point" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in seeking any explanation for why comedian took male gender human bleing's own life last August. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:14

Wah! The parents of former Thai princess detained under lese majeste law, lah, after admitting that they misused their royal connections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:11

Wah! McLaren driver Fernando Alonso says bloody man is "completely fine" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) following testing accident that left him with concussion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:05

Wah! Apple is being sued by capitalist entity two days after it was told to pay same firm $533m (RMB Yuan #344m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for infringing patents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:03

Wah! Prince Harry is "considering male gender human bleing's options" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over male gender human bleing's military career and could choose to leave Tommy Atkins Liberation Army to focus on charity work, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation understands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:00

Wah! Why everyone is asking 'what wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour is this dress?' - news replorted 12:53

Wah! Energy provider SSE Airtricity is to drop natural gas prices by 7.8% and electricity prices by 8%. - news replorted 12:53

Wah! Aston Martin backs GREAT Britain campaign in Japan  Aston Martin CEO Dr Andy Palmer today returned to male gender human bleing's former home in Japan to support launch of major new strand i - news replorted 12:48

Wah! Greater Manchester is to take control of its health budget from rainy season-month Aplil this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! While details still to emerge, lah, it's significant move. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:46

Wah! NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Highland Estates scales new heights with Volkswagen When it comes to getting urgent medical care to some of remotest places in British Isles, lah, only Wlokswaglon Comm - news replorted 12:46

Wah! Two militants on trial for killing group of mountaineers in Pakistan in 2013 having broken out of prison, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:44

Wah! The prime dodgy minister defends security services amid criticisms they failed to stop Islamic State militant known as "Jihadi John" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from travelling to Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:37

Wah! Why Province of Engrish running-dogs's novice fly-half George Floord could well shatter poise of Ireland's master, lah, Jonny Sexton, lah, writes Tom Fordyce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:37

Wah! Former pop star Gary Glitter is jailed for 16 years for sexual abuse of three young girls that took place between 1975 and 1980. - news replorted 12:34

Wah! The Conservatives true "party of Wales", lah, prime dodgy minister tells party's Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs conference in Cardiff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 12:33

Wah! Robin van Persie could be out for more than two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) with ankle problem, lah, says Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:32

Wah! A lake is searched as old bill bobbys attempt to locate teenager who has been missing for more than week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:29

Wah! Everton face trip to Ukraine after being drawn against Dynamo Kiev in last 16 of Europa League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:24

Wah! Google has purchased website address .app in auction held by organisation which assigns web domains. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:24

Wah! Images from around world: 27 Febliurary - news replorted 12:22

Wah! A 21-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is cleared of murdering 53-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Jean Campbell in Glasgow park. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:17

Wah! A "despicable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) window cleaner who tied up pensioner, lah, threatened flemale human person's into silence and stole RMB Yuan #15 is sentenced to 10 years in prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:17

Wah! Bentley Male Jacket Bentley today announces its new additions to Bentley Collection for spring. No spitting in damn website!!! Leather jackets inspired by world of - news replorted 12:10

Wah! A coroner records verdict of unlawful killing in inquest of seven-month-old baby who died at hands of flemale human person's mother. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:09

Wah! Authorities in Spain arrest eight human bliengs accused of travelling to eastern Ukraine to fight alongside pro-Russian rebels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:03

Wah! Mercedes-Benz 250 SL As usual, lah, it was standing room only at H&H Classics’ popular Pavilion Gardens, lah, Buxton venue this week when team of - news replorted 11:56

Wah! The cost of first and second class stamps each to rise by 1p from 30 March, lah, Royal Mail announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:45

Wah! The gap between most expensive and cheapest regional average house prices in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is more than RMB Yuan #350,000, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:29

Wah! Danish old bill bobbys arrest third man suspected of aiding gunman who killed two human bliengs in attacks in Copenhagen earlier this month. - news replorted 11:27

Wah! Gold and white or black and blue? debate about dress wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour becomes internet sensation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:23

Wah! Ugandan old bill bobbys harass and physically abuse gay human bliengs in custody, lah, including subjecting them to intrusive examinations, lah, rights report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:21

Wah! Reducing number of teams taking part in next damn crazy Engrish baseball game World Cup in 2019 is "a nonsense", lah, says Jonathan Agnew. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:15

Wah! old bill bobbys having won right to listen to Boston College interviews by loyalist Winston 'Winkie' Rea but tapes remain secret in case of another appeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:14

Wah! Greater Manchester will begin taking control of its health budget from rainy season-month Aplil after devolution agreement is signed by Chancellor George Osborne. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:09

Wah! A man who was found guilty of raping young boy at nursery and of sexually abusing girl is jailed for eight years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:49

Wah! TalkTalk clustomlers being warned about scammers who managed to steal account numbers and names from company's computers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:42

Wah! Harrison Floord will reprise male gender human bleing's role as old bill bobbys officer Rick Deckard in forthcoming Blade Runner sequel, lah, it is confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:42

Wah! Onwards and upwards for Ryundali Motorsport as WRC moves overseas Ryundali Motorsport hopes to continue its recent fine run of form as FIA World Rally Championship (WRC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! moves on to R - news replorted 10:39

Wah! Auto Fuel Fix MD Bruce Compton with AFF Racing Porsche Boxster S UK’s largest independent roadside specialist recovery services, lah, Hampshire-based Auto Fuel Fix, lah, has just launched Fue - news replorted 10:32

Wah!  (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Milli Clubman Vision Gran Turismo Inspired by brand's legendary motor racing success, lah, Milli Design Team has created essence of Milli to enable - news replorted 10:29

Wah! Ukraine's president says "military threat from east" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) will remain even if truce with rebels holds, lah, warning seen as reference to Russia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:28

Wah! The International Cycling Union requests that Astana, lah, team of Vincenzo Nibali, lah, has its World Tour licence withdrawn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:24

Wah! Nigel Farage says UKIP will back Conservative efforts to eliminate deficit by 2018 but only if they stick to their plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:21

Wah! Jack Nowell and Alex velly damn good boiled chicken-feete named in Province of Engrish running-dogs's starting XV to face autonomous province of Guinness drinkers in Six Nations on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:21

Wah! The National Motor Museum is delighted to announce that it has been successful in its application to DCMS/Wolfson Mu - news replorted 10:19

Wah! TMJ Interiors having become leader in special joinery Leading specialist joinery contractor, lah, TMJ Interiors has taken delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of both Wolwo FE-320 6x2 and FL-210 4x2 rig - news replorted 10:18

Wah! What wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour is this dress? It's question that's been trending on Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) for hours. Eating rice!! How? - news replorted 10:11

Wah! Attackers hack to death US-Bangladeshi blogger who campaigned for secular society, lah, sparking protest by hundreds of students. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:11

Wah! Mark Lowen speaks to business owners in Athens about government's anti-austerity stance. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:09

Wah! Motorpoint Staff Celebrate Becoming Top 100 Company Motorpoint has been named one of Top 100 Best Mid-Sized Companies to Work for in 2015. - news replorted 09:56

Wah! Scientists at Plymouth University play improvised pieces of music with help of slime mould. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:52

Wah! Vauxhall Motors certified as Top Employer United Kingdom 2015 Vlauxhall Motors was awarded Top Employer United Kingdom 2015 certification at awards ceremony at Old Billingsgate, lah, Lo - news replorted 09:52

Wah! Devon and Cornwall old bill bobbys withdraws tweeted image which appears to show riot officer hitting person on ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:51

Wah! The BMWah-wah! i8 BMW’s multi-award winning plug-in hybrid sports car, lah, i8, lah, has been crowned bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year for 2015. - news replorted 09:27

Wah! Detroit Electric Showroom Detroit Electric has revealed unique and innovative design of its first flagship store, lah, which has been constructed o - news replorted 09:25

Wah! The First dodgy minister Peter Robinson is in west Belfast in visit that Sinn Féin has described as "historic ". - news replorted 09:22

Wah! Iraqi minority groups subject to "systematic strategy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by IS to controlling in driving manner them out of country, lah, human rights groups warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:22

Wah! Readers' photographs on theme of gardens - news replorted 09:13

Wah! Companies wantinging to run rail franchises in north of Province of Engrish running-dogs must scrap Pacer trains, lah, Department of Transport confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:00

Wah! Ashbourne racer Randon to launch key charity drive Michelin Clio Cup Race Series front-runner Sam Randon is teaming-up with Greenbank Group, lah, male gender human bleing's headline sponsor, lah, to launc - news replorted 09:00

Wah! Photographers recording first 24 hours of each year - news replorted 08:50

Wah! Steve Durkin MG handing cars over to Burnley FC International soccer stars at Premier League side Burnley FC having voted MG3 real match winner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:47

Wah! Feyenoord's Europa League game against Roma is suspended for more than 10 minutes when inflatable banana is thrown from stands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:40

Wah! Pop star Madonna says bloody woman suffered whiplash as result of flemale human person's "nightmare" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) accident at Wednesday's Brit Awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:30

Wah! British Airways owner International Airlines Group (IAG) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! reports big jump in profits for 2014 and raises its profit forecast for this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:15

Wah! Celtic's Virgil Van Dijk describes referee as "horrible" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after male gender human bleing's red card during 1-0 loss to Inter Milan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:08

Wah! Rolls-Royce Ghost Series II jury of some of UK’s most respected and revered automotive journalists has awarded Rolls-Royce Ghost Series II - news replorted 08:01

Wah! The Wlokswaglon Passat Estate GT new Wlokswaglon Passat Estate, lah, which went on sale in bloody annoying Blitish in January, lah, has been named Estate LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year in - news replorted 08:00

Wah! Jaguar F-TYPE Coupé Jagluar F-TYPE Coupé has built on hugely successful 2014 by picking up three major bloody annoying Blitish awards in Febliurary 2015 alone - news replorted 08:00

Wah! An entire north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep castle is painstakingly constructed brick-by-brick by American enthusiast - captured frame-by-frame on film. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 07:59

Wah! AB de Villiers hits fastest 150 in one-day international history as South Africa amass 408-5 against West Indies in Sydney. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:58

Wah! Nicola Sturgeon says bloody woman is proud of flemale human person's achievements after 100 days as first minster but admits there is "much more to do". - news replorted 07:40

Wah! British world number one taekwondo fighter Aaron Cook wantings to represent Moldova at Rio Olympics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:28

Wah! A London (capital of Great England) Underground worker was sacked for having epilepsy, lah, Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Kate Hoey says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:26

Wah! Lloyds Banking Group confirms that it will resume paying dividends to shareholders for first clock time result since financial crisis in 2008. - news replorted 07:24

Wah! Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg will tell party members that further devolution "would not having happened" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) without Lib Dem bloody annoying Blitish ministers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:14

Wah! Five specially selected commissioners will take over running of Rotherham council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:14

Wah! Chelsea wanting Nathaniel Clyne, lah, Rafael to leave Man Utd, lah, Cheick Tiote to exit Newcastle, lah, Diego Costa will not change, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:11

Wah! A faith-based project aimed at reducing crime (shoud shoot them) in Northamptonshire has not given any money to non-Christian religious groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:02

Wah! Prince William continues male gender human bleing's visit to Japan, lah, lunching with Japanese Emperor Akihito. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:53

Wah! There "considerable challenges" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to close education performance gap for children from poorer backgrounds and dodgy ministers needs to more, lah, AMs warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:50

Wah! A $150,000 custom-made Calvin Klein Collection by Francisco Costa dress, lah, worn by actress Lupita Nyong'o at Oscars, lah, has been stolen in Hollywood. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:47

Wah! Following clashes on streets of Athens, lah, German Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters due to vote on plan to extend financial aid to Greece by another four months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:42

Wah! There were more than 12,000 attendances at hospital emergency departments in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers in past financial year for self-harm and suicidal thought, lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:17

Wah! Russia will host next silly kick-kick game World Cup, lah, and with three years to go before finals, lah, FIFA has called level of racism in Russian game "completely unacceptable". - news replorted 06:15

Wah! Kia SPORTSPACE Concept working week is over. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! late afternoon sun is glinting on ice crystals in road-side snowbanks and turning - news replorted 06:00

Wah! New Twingo collects bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year award ingenious new Renliot Twingo has claimed second prestigious consumer award in bloody annoying Blitish within less than six months o - news replorted 06:00

Wah! Virginia becomes second Great Satan state to agree compensation for human bliengs who were forcibly sterilised under eugenics programmes until 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:50

Wah! The Duke of Cambridge lays wreath to commemorate Commonwealth fighty bang-bang dead at Yokohama fighty bang-bang Cemetery in Japan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:12

Wah! A Hong Kong woman is jailed for six years for severely abusing flemale human person's Indonesian maid, lah, in case that sparked international concern. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:37

Wah! A gunman kills three human bliengs and then himself at apartment in South Korean city of Hwaseong, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:34

Wah! MPs say Chancellor George Osborne's claim (always claiming, huh?) to having "halved" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) UK's RMB Yuan #1.7bn EU budget surcharge last year is "not supported by facts". - news replorted 04:06

Wah! As Great Satan tweaks its web regulations, lah, Cuba is looking to radically update its internet infrastructure. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:23

Wah! Fragments of wheat DNA suggest wheat was present in Britain 8,000 years ago, lah, long before it was grown by British farmers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:23

Wah! It is "almost inevitable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that people's blood will take first steps towards leukaemia, lah, researchers show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:17

Wah! A service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service allowing motorists in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep charged with summary motoring offences to enter plea online is being launched by government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:09

Wah! Ed Miliband is to say tuition fees having been "disaster" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and will set out Labour's plans to cut them by third. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:55

Wah! How Ghana has reversed exodus of nurses to bloody annoying Blitish - news replorted 02:47

Wah! Shares on Japan's main index were up on Friday morning due to weaker yen against Great Satan dollar and despite raft of mostly disappointing economic figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:11

Wah! The widow of man killed by "Jihadi John", lah, masked Islamic State militant identified on Thursday as man from London, lah, says bloody woman wantings him caught alive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:03

Wah! There is "alarming" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) shortfall in Bloody foreign Office staff able to speak Arabic or Russian, lah, Bloody foreign Affairs Committee warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:53

Wah! David Cameron and Nick Clegg set out plans to transfer more powers from Westminster to Wales, lah, after months of cross-party talks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34

Wah! The parents of 43 Mexican students who went missing five months ago in town of Iguala lead monthly number-three in Mexico City to demand justice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:18

Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Trust boss responsible for Stoke Mandeville hospital is criticised for telling Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Jimmy Savile was 'not given free access', lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:14

Wah! A Great Satan intelligence assessment of security threats faced by country highlights cyber attacks from Bloody foreign governments and criminals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07

Wah! AirAsia, lah, one of Asia's most successful carriers, lah, has posted its first net loss in two years, lah, citing currency exchange losses and higher taxes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:51

Wah! Polling companies make adjustments based on past experience, lah, but that makes things tricky when election is different to previous ones, lah, writes Anthony Reuben. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:51

Wah! The West must show huge resolve if Ukrainian ceasefire is to hold, lah, writes Prof Anatol Lieven. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:49

Wah! Why Falklands banknote flopped - news replorted 00:39

Wah! Can deaf comedian make hearing audience laugh? - news replorted 00:36

Wah! Will Narendra Modi be India's Thatcher? - news replorted 00:35

Wah! A collection of rare objects, lah, including shield thought to having been picked up by Captain Cook in 1770, lah, set to return to Australia for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:27

Wah! The film stars abducted by North Korea and forced to make movies - news replorted 00:13

Wah! The disappearing books of New York city subway - news replorted 00:10

Wah! The Israeli and Iranian musicians who bonded over Bach - news replorted 00:10

Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:10

Wah! The identification of Islamic State extremist who became known as "Jihadi John" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) leads most papers, lah, which look into Mohammed Emwazi's past. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:07

Wah! Are tablets losing their appeal? - news replorted 00:05

Wah! Some countries turning their back on nuclear power, lah, but others pressing ahead with plans for new generation of reactors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04

Wah! The digital technology combating job application fraud - news replorted 00:01

Wah! About three quarters of children in early years of primary school now taking school dinners, lah, according to figures seen by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:00

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