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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

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Letter
Customer Letter: 1247 / 1528
Andrew says...
HONDA CIVIC TYPE-RThere are so many leasing companies on the web; use Ling - she is absolutely excellent. Always on the LINGO system when needed. Do not go anywhere else, best by far, prices very competitive. What more can I say?

Beautiful car, the Honda Civic. No marks, but an average valet before delivery (had to clean myself).

Andrew Abbotts
3 St Lawrence Avenue
Lammack
Blackburn
BB2 7DG


Editor Note: Andy, thanks so much for the comments, everyone loves the LINGO system :) Great to deal with you. You seem very happy with your fast Type-R. Shame the dealer didn't clean the car so well... I just can't believe they mess this up. Dealers are often the weakest link. Apologies, I have kicked them. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1179 / 1528
John says...
 Had not dealt with Ling before. And what a pleasant experience it was to do so. Nothing was to much trouble, her service was excellent and every question we posted was answered QUICKLY unlike the majority of the long established contract hire companies. I have been in the motor trade 31 years and find Ling, her sense of humour and service very refreshing. Delivery service was good, arrived on time.

John Kerr
Hillendale Land Rover
Lomeshaye Ind Estate
Nelson
BB9 6LL


Editor Note: Well, you are group Financial Director for a Land Rover dealer group, John, and I am so pleased that you like my service. It is a fantastic thing that you appreciate this is the cheapest way to grab a new car, even if I don't expect you will be buying Land Rovers through me. Thanks for comments on my service, I hope this gives great confidence to my non-motor-trade customers. Thanks again! If anyone wants to BUY (rather than rent on Contract Hire) a Land Rover, I cannot think of nicer people to get it from. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1098 / 1528
Nicola says...
HONDA CIVICFirst class service with excellent customer service! Would most definitely recommend to others. Couldn't fault - thank you! Excellent delivery of my Honda Civic.

Nicola Harris
Albion Catering Services Ltd
Albion Mill, Grimshaw Street
Clayton Le Moors
Accrington
BB5 5NA


Editor Note: Nicola, lovely-jubbly. You were great to deal with, thanks so much for the biz. Thanks for comment about customer service. See you in 3-years! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1051 / 1528
Antonia says...
CarExceptional service from Ling, who came highly recommended. It's so refreshing for such prompt and efficient communication. Emails were responded to immediately. The Touareg is excellent (apart from I trip to the garage to fix a faulty hand brake problem – I am told I was unlucky). Thanks for everything. I will call at the end of my lease. The misinformation (from VW) about the lead-in time for my car to arrive was unhelpful, with no apology from them, except from when Ling (relentlessly - Ling) chased them.

Antonia Love
Farleys Solicitors
1-2 Richmond Terrace
Blackburn
BB1 7AT


Editor Note: Yes (sigh), these companies are just too gig and they forget there are individual customers at the end of the chain. Why they can't just give accurate info, I don't know. I will say VW/Audi had a massive recall problem due to the freak hailstorm which damaged 30,000 cars in Germany. Apart from that, and that you have had your handbrake fixed, I'm so glad you are very happy with your Touareg, what a hell of a car! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1035 / 1528
Muhammed says...
CarFrom beginning to end the entire process was simple to understand. Ling has created a system which is idiot proof as the customer is led through all the different stages. She guides you, almost, mother – like, right through to the day delivery is taken. I will not be going anywhere else for my new car. Excellent delivery of my new Audi A4, a painless experience.

Muhammed Matadar
address withheld
Blackburn
BB1 ***


Editor Note: Mo, you are a school teacher, so you know about leading (young) people through simple processes. Glad you liked it. I am not sure about the "mother" bit, even though I am 7-years older than you! Hahahaha, go and give out some detentions for fun :) Thanks for kind analysis of my customer process. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 935 / 1528
Andres says...
CarIn autumn 2007 I looked into leasing a car with a different company. However, I quickly found their sales people bordering on obnoxious, just one up from copier salesmen, and while going through the procedure at two points I was sent a rental agreement that had £100 added to the monthly rental price.

Having lost faith in them I gave lingscars.com a go at the end of 2007. What a refreshing experience this was, straight answers, completely transparent procedure and no hidden costs or nasty surprises. Documents arrived in time, the Chevrolet Captiva was exactly as described, got delivered on time and by a courteous driver straight to the door. And if you have any question during the rental period Ling is very responsive and helpful. Altogether, very much recommended.

Andres Kruse (Dr)
address withheld
Lancashire
BB11 ***


Editor Note: Dr Andres, what a lovely letter! You are a chief officer with a company, and your Dr thing must be technical not medical. So, I take your compliments very proudly. I do not understand why other companies charge these "fees" either (well, except to say they like the smell of the cash I guess). Most of the time they are totally made up and spurious. I hate them, it is just pure profiteering (or mis-representing the original price), as you know yourself, from your letter. I wish this industry was regulated and these cowboys could be got rid of. Thanks for the nice words, enjoy the Captiva! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 899 / 1528
Peter says...
CarI would recommend leasing a new car from Ling, to anyone! Great service, great cars! I look forward to every letter because they are sooooo funny. Cheers, Ling!

Peter Lewis
363 Haslingden Old Road
Rawtenstall
BB4 8RR


Editor Note: Another Captiva! Wow, I have supplied so many of these new cars. They are the best Chevrolet model, ever. Glad you are happy, Peter. Thanks for the kind comments about my letters, I do my best to make everything enjoyable for you. Go... DRIVE! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 713 / 1528
John says...
CarHi Ling,

The BLING Lexus is A1!!!

I have only good things to say about your service and the efficient and personal way in which I was dealt with. These so-called bigger dealers should spend less time concentrating on profit and more on customers. The best recommendation I can give is that I will be back for my next car and hope you continue to teach these bullies a lesson.

Excellent delivery, the delivery driver was a star and rounded off a terrific experience of the whole process.

John Perry
21 Carr Road
Barnoldswick
BB18 5LT


Editor Note: Well, that's great news. Delivery is the one of two aspects I cannot 100% control, so pleased when it is perfect. (The other aspect I have no control over is the factory building the cars, if there are production delays). Love to have professional types like you as customers. See you soon when your Lexus gets a couple of years old. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 633 / 1528
John says...
CarI am travelling back from Malta today and so will see it tonight. My wife has inspected it using your great delivery form and is very pleased - like all women she is much more detailed than me so I am sure it will be fine. She did note that no V5 was present and I was unsure who retains this - I imagine it will be Lexus?

I am 100% pleased with the whole process and only wish that some of the other business sources I need to use had such an excellent level of human customer service. I promise to write a rave review for your website when I get a chance to have a final look and drive for myself.

Thanks again Ling and thanks for doing exactly what you promised to.

... the next day: Just got back and ignored Sam and the 2 kids for my new lovely LEXUS. All is excellent with the car and boy you get a lot for your money on this basic model. Sam tells me that the delivery driver was excellent and went through the inspection with her and made sure she knew how everything worked. He got a coffee and sandwich and a free lift back to the train station for his trouble.

This is the rave review that I promised back at the start of this whole painless process.

It is surprising when someone delivers what they say they will and it is a pity that the greedy motor traders in the UK don't pay less attention to profits and more to customer service.

The service you provide is on a personal level and I knew that any problems would be resolved or you would tell me I was being unrealistic in my expectations. I was confident that you would never promise what you could not deliver and that is very important to me.

You exceeded my expectations and that is not something I have written to many companies or individuals over the years.

Overall an outstanding service and end product and also some free russian translation thrown in. I am now off to increase my carbon footprint by making sure I do those 15k miles in luxury in my bling bling Lexus.

Thank you Ling. Be back for my next car and would recommend you to everyone I meet.

Best Regards

John Perry
21 Carr Road
Barnoldswick
BB18 5LT


Editor Note: John, well in reverse order; you won't have problems - this is a Lexus not a Jaguar! The mileage will be deducted from your contract, you won't pay for it. V5 is kept by the finance company. So pleased the car is much nicer than your wife or kids, of course! - it is a Lexus. Hope it was worth rushing home from Malta for :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 489 / 1528
Leslie says...
 "Ling is a pleasure to do business with! Fast, efficient and a great communicator. She puts the "fun" back into business. My Xsara Picasso arrived reliably and on time, an excellent delivery. Great service."

Leslie Dearden
Cornerways
1 Hoarstones Ave
Fence
Burnley
BB12 9DZ


Editor Note: Leslie, this is the second car I am renting to your family, I also am supplying a Mini Cooper to your daughter (I think she is your daughter) in Nelson, Lancs. That is due in June '07, currently it is in build. Thanks very much for the referral, you are both very nice people to deal with. have a great time in the Picasso! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 178 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarEverything went like clockwork - very happy with Ling and LINGsCARS.com and she keeps the paperwork simple. A nice person to do business with.

Andrew McKie
Seven Acre Car Sales
Barker Lane
Mellor
Blackburn
BB2 7ED


Editor Note: Andy, thanks for that. It's nice to have a recommendation from someone in car trade. Enjoy Megane CC, get your top down! - Ling



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Wah! LATEST:  The mayor of Calais wantings changes to deal which allows Britain to carry out immigration checks on French side of bloody Engrish Channel, lah, after bloody annoying Blitish vote to leave EU. - news replorted 21:37



Wah! LATEST:  EU leaders to meet to discuss UK's "divorce" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from organisation after historic referendum result. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 21:09



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Wah! At least 14 human bliengs die in devastating flooding in Great Satan state of West Virginia, lah, according to state governor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 20:27



Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama is to designate first national monument to gay rights at site of iconic Stonewall Inn in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 19:15



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Wah! Group B Rally Cars Monster Hill Rallying's most extreme era is being celebrated at 2016 velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:25



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Wah! The vote in Province of Engrish running-dogs exposes huge differences between levels of support for Remain and Leave campaigns in London (capital of Great England) and rest of country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:53



Wah! Canadian rapper Drake achieves notable feat by having longest-running bloody annoying Blitish number one single since legal music downloads began counting towards chart positions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:49



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Wah! What Brexit looked like on social media - round-up of best content - news replorted 17:39



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Wah! We asked what voters what they made of United Kingdom's decision to leave European Union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:48



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Wah! The importance of trade across border between Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Republic must not be forgotten in negotiation - news replorted 15:44



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs led rest of bloody annoying Blitish towards EU exit. Pass chopsticks!! How does it feel to be bloody Engrish on such monumental day? - news replorted 15:37



Wah! It was emblazoned across Leave campaign's battle bus, lah, but Nigel Farage says RMB Yuan #350m week pledge for NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) was 'a mistake'. - news replorted 15:09



Wah! British number one Johanna Konta is through to Eastbourne semi-finals with straight-sets win over Ekaterina Makarova. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:44



Wah! The Glastonbury Festival opens with sombre tribute to Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Jo Cox and references to EU referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:39



Wah! Ford firepower on infamous hill 2016 velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed is honouring several motor sport milestones, lah, and few will resonate more on both side - news replorted 14:24



Wah! Volvo V60 Twin Engine SE Lux Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish is increasing its popular Twin Engine range with addition of new V60 variant that will appeal to busi - news replorted 14:23



Wah! Very different visions of where UK's future lies having been put under spotlight by vote to leave EU. Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation correspondents from around bloody annoying Blitish reflect on implications at local level. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 14:07



Wah! People around Europe react to UK's decision to leave European Union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:59



Wah! Tin Tops Storm Hill at velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine racing is among motor sport’s most popular – and spectacular – categories, lah, and this year velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood is celebra - news replorted 13:57



Wah! Two Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters submit motion of no confidence in Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn following UK's vote to leave EU. - news replorted 13:37



Wah! US Senator Bernie Sanders says bloody man will vote for male gender human bleing's Democratic rival Hillary Clinton in November's presidential election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:14



Wah! Klaus Bischoff Head of Wlokswaglon Design accepted award on past day, lah, day before today day evening as part of ‘Plus X Night 2016’ Plus X Awards ceremony was held in former Bundestag building in - news replorted 13:12



Wah! Now we've voted to leave EU, lah, house prices really going to fall, lah, asks BBC's Simon Gompertz. - news replorted 13:03



Wah! Liverpool make Southampton striker Sadio Mane prime summer transfer target in RMB Yuan #30m move but Saints likely to wanting RMB Yuan #10m more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:03



Wah! Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Secretary Theresa Villiers has ruled out Sinn Féin's call for border poll on reunification of Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:03



Wah! Brexit is, lah, for UK, lah, most significant event in its recent history. You give me happy happy luck luck. In world where political, lah, social and busines - news replorted 12:58



Wah! Six young voters recorded moment they found out EU referendum result on Friday morning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 12:44



Wah! Quotes from European press on Britain's EU referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:31



Wah! Rolls-Royce Dawn Rolls-Royce Motor Cars celebrates largest gathering of Rolls-Royces in world this weekend at 57th Rolls-Royc - news replorted 12:06



Wah! Nicola Sturgeon says second referendum on Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs independence is "on table". - news replorted 12:02



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has voted to leave EU - process that has come to be known as Brexit. Pass chopsticks!! Here some of images from historic day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:59



Wah! Newsbeat's guide to taking Brexit in your as really velly special customer's stride, lah, even if it's not what you tellibly lovely custlingmer voted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:53



Wah! The Reality Check team has been sent many questions about people's personal circumstances and how they will be affected by bloody annoying Blitish leaving European Union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:46



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's first dodgy minister says second independence referendum is "highly likely" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after bloody annoying Blitish voted to leave EU. - news replorted 11:45



Wah! Tens of thousands of City staff who turned up for work this morning found their professional world turned upside down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:39



Wah! Boris Johnson, lah, key figure in Leave campaign, lah, has said there is "no need for haste" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after bloody annoying Blitish voted to exit European Union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:38



Wah! Reacting to result that Britain has voted to leave EU, lah, road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Haulage Association chief executive Richard Burnett - news replorted 11:38



Wah! How does UK's vote to leave European Union affect British expats in Europe, lah, and EU nationals working in UK? - news replorted 11:37



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs funny shape ball-game star Danny Cipriani is found guilty of drinking and driving after bloody man crashed male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine following night out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:32



Wah! Europcar Summer Sale Whilst last few weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) having not felt much like summer, lah, it is officially here, lah, WAH! And Europcar, lah, leader in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine hire se - news replorted 11:29



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation correspondents across Europe report on wave of shock reverberating around continent in response to bloody annoying Blitish vote to leave EU. - news replorted 11:26



Wah! As result of EU referendum became clear, lah, poll's divisive effects across generational lines became apparent online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:20



Wah! Gerry Keaney As trade body for vehicling driving car machine rental and leasing industry in UK, lah, BVRLA has reacted to result in refe - news replorted 11:12



Wah! A Bloody foreign student living in London (capital of Great England) admits trying to travel to Syria or Iraq engage in acts of terrorism. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed goes full throttle! first day of 2016 velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed is underway under blue skies as world’s finest cars and best dr - news replorted 11:01



Wah! First dodgy minister Carwyn Jones calls for unity in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep following vote in favour of bloody annoying Blitish leaving EU. - news replorted 10:55



Wah! Michael Owen test drives BMWah-wah! i8, lah, with Alexanders Prestige Ever wondered what three cars Michael Owen would having in male gender human bleing's dream garage? - news replorted 10:53



Wah! Boris Johnson, lah, key figure in Leave campaign was booed by angry crowd as bloody man left male gender human bleing's north London (capital of Great England) home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:47



Wah! Shocked EU leaders call for stability and solidarity - but also for change and reform - after bloody annoying Blitish votes to leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Spanish Bloody foreign dodgy minister says "Spanish flag on Rock" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is "much closer than before" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) following massive Gibraltar vote to remain in EU. - news replorted 10:37



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Wah! World number two Andy Murray is drawn against fellow Briton Liam Broady in first round of Wimbledon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:34



Wah! The Mathilda Racing Team was named after its captain’s daughter “I’m still not sure, lah, but when I’m older I might wanting to be race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine driver”. She’s only seven years old and flemale human person's name i - news replorted 10:12



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has voted to quit European Union following referendum on its membership. Do you carefully listening? So how did Leave campaign win? - news replorted 10:06



Wah! The BBC's Chris Morris examines how Premier League might be affected in event of Brexit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! Donald Trump says bloody annoying Blitish vote to leave EU is "a velly damn good boiled chicken-feet thing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man lands in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land open male gender human bleing's Turnberry golf resort. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:34



Wah! The trade body for bloody annoying Blitish automotive sector, lah, Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT), lah, reacts to today’s re - news replorted 09:33



Wah! Aston Martin Vantage GT12 Roadster Aston Martin today unveiled its most extreme roadster ever in unique form of one-off Vantage GT12 Roadster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:30



Wah! Now that British public has voted for Brexit, lah, what exactly will be economic effects? Here five areas where experts say we should pay close attention. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:28



Wah! Voters in bloody annoying Blitish having to chosen to leave European Union and country is now faced with task of negotiating its exit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:13



Wah! David Wells Following announcement of ‘leave’ result in EU referendum, lah, Freight Transport Association (FTA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! says coming - news replorted 09:13



Wah! Live coverage and analysis after bloody annoying Blitish voted to leave EU in referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:03



Wah! Honda bloody annoying Blitish Tots Gear at velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed At velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed, lah, Rondla bloody annoying Blitish hosted biggest motoring showdown since heady F1 days of Senna vs Prost. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The Irish government has said bloody annoying Blitish vote to leave European Union will having "very significant implications for Ireland". - news replorted 08:57



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron has said bloody man will step down after bloody annoying Blitish voted to Leave European Union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:51



Wah! Parts of Province of Engrish running-dogs voted overwhelmingly to leave European Union - news replorted 08:43



Wah! As EU referendum count turned decisively towards Leave, lah, online conversation in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land immediately turned to possibility of another vote on independence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:43



Wah! The BBC's Simon Gompertz looks at how UK's vote to leave EU might affect British holidaymakers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:45



Wah! Leaving European Union is likely to having profound consequences for every household in Uk. What you wan'?!! Here's closer look at how your as really velly special customer's personal finances could be affected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:24



Wah! The UK's vote to leave EU sparks demands from far-right parties for referendums in other member nations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:05



Wah! How did Leave camp clinch victory in referendum on UK's membership of EU after what was bloody velly closely fought contest? - news replorted 07:03



Wah! As bloody annoying Blitish votes to leave European Union, lah, BBC’s Rob Watson looks at what could happen next. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:00



Wah! Nissan breaks ice as new Nissling LEAF 30 kWh hits showrooms New figures show that so far in 2016, lah, Nissling LEAF is not only world’s best-selling electric vehicling driving car machine (EV), lah, but al - news replorted 07:00



Wah! With help of virtual reality Downing Street, lah, BBC's Jeremy Vine explains how EU Referendum vote unfolded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:57



Wah! Social media users stayed up through night to watch votes of EU referendum unfold. I read you little red book! When results were announced they were quick to share their views. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:40



Wah! International reaction as bloody annoying Blitish votes to leave European Union in Thursday's historic referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 06:37



Wah! As EU referendum vote swung decisively to Leave, lah, perhaps nobody's fortunes changed more than UKIP leader Nigel Farage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:28



Wah! Weather conditions will be brighter and disruption for commuters in south-east Province of Engrish running-dogs is expected to ease after severe rain and flooding - but some flood warnings remain in place. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:24



Wah! IBF world heavyweight champion Anthony Joshua discusses male gender human bleing's training regime, lah, including male gender human bleing's favourite core workout and male gender human bleing's food heaven and hell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:03



Wah! Jeremy Vine considers how opinions in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, Welsh land of sheep and more sheep and Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers having changed since 1975. - news replorted 05:54



Wah! Complex negotiations lie ahead now that bloody annoying Blitish has voted for Brexit, lah, BBC's Laurence Peter reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:51



Wah! It will take at least two years for bloody annoying Blitish to leave EU. But if bloody annoying Blitish left today, lah, what EU look like without it? - news replorted 05:48



Wah! Leave wins EU referendum campaign in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep with all council areas declared. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:36



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land votes strongly in favour of staying in EU - with all 32 council areas backing Remain - but bloody annoying Blitish is on course for Brexit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:25



Wah! Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers votes to Remain in EU Referendum but Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation forecasts that bloody annoying Blitish will leave EU. - news replorted 05:13



Wah! Colombians celebrate ceasefire between government and leftist Farc rebels, lah, marking end of five decades of conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:04



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has voted by narrow margin to leave European Union after 43 years in historic referendum, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation forecast suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:03



Wah! UKIP leader Nigel Farage tells supporters that "dawn is breaking on independent United Kingdom", lah, as votes counted in EU Referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 04:40



Wah! The result in Sunderland was welcomed with loud cheers from Leave camp, lah, as area voted decisively in their favour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:00



Wah! As China-led Asia Infrastructure and Investment capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity (AIIB) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! prepares for its first annual meeting, lah, how much having Western concerns being realised? - news replorted 03:55



Wah! There has been high turnout in EU Referendum, lah, as Eleanor Garnier reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:02



Wah! If you tellibly lovely custlingmer saw someone being attacked on street, lah, would you tellibly lovely custlingmer help? Or would you tellibly lovely custlingmer assume it's none of your as really velly special customer's business and walk on by? - news replorted 02:38



Wah! With papers going to press before EU referendum result, lah, several reflect on divisions caused by issue and hopes for "project reunite". - news replorted 02:05



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has voted on whether to leave EU or remain in it. Pass chopsticks!! votes being counted. I read you little red book! Here is what is likely to happen next. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:46



Wah! Having cake at work to celebrate colleagues' birthdays, lah, engagements or just surviving week is danger to health, lah, warns senior dentist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! The mayor of Buenos Aires announces male gender human bleing's administration has taken over running of city's zoo after series of scandals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34



Wah! As expected most Gibraltarians voted for Britain to stay in EU. Now web is wondering about minority who didn't. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:19



Wah! The main musical events begin at Glastonbury later, lah, with James, lah, Disclosure and Muse playing amidst mud. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Campaigning intensifies in Spain ahead of Sunday's repeat parliamentary election, lah, with opinion polls suggesting another four-way race. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:25



Wah! US presidential hopeful Donald Trump is due to arrive in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land for official reopening of Trump Turnberry, lah, following its major refurbishment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Britain's poet laureate Dame Carol Ann Duffy talks about flemale human person's reading tour of 15 venues to support struggling local bookstores. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:15



Wah! A look at some of bloody annoying Blitish issues Donald Trump has spoken about as Great Satan billionaire presidential hopeful visits Britain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The BBC's Justin Rowlatt examines evolution of one of India's favourite street foods, lah, samosa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



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