LATEST:  A number of adults and children hurtee-hurtee in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crash outside school in south Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58

LATEST:  bloody annoying Blitish mortgage lending surged to its highest monthly level since Octoblinger 2008 in May, lah, with activity even surprising lenders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58

US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama confused Chancellor George Osborne's name with that of popular Great Satan singer during G8 summit, lah, according to Sun newspaper. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:57

bloody annoying Blitish retail sales recorded stronger-than-expected rise last month, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:49

Batsman Kevin Pietersen will make male gender human bleing's Province of Engrish running-dogs return following injury in Twenty20 series against New Zealand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:46

Ofsted's Chief Inspector of Schools, lah, Sir Michael Wilshaw, lah, is delivering speech on how many of poor children being left behind in schools now those living in suburbs, lah, market towns and seaside resorts rather than big cities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:44

West Midlands-based MAHLE Aftermarket is relaunching its range of MAHLE Original and Knecht oil, lah, air, lah, fuel and cabin fil - news replorted 09:41

The Footman James Manchester Classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Show, lah, which is set to take place on 21st and 22nd September 2013 at Event City, lah, - news replorted 09:31

Afghan officials tell Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation removal of flag and nameplate from Taliban's Qatar office does not go far enough. - news replorted 09:02

Dixons Retail reports rise in sales, lah, but costs incurred at its troubled online outlet Pixmania mean it reports loss for past year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:52

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew has been undermined by Joe Kinnear's appointment as director of football, lah, says Alan Shearer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:48

Banks forced to strengthen - news replorted 08:26

Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs councils warned they will having to slash services or raise council tax above 5% if they face budget cuts like their bloody Engrish counterparts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:02

A person has been hit by lorry and killed on M6 motorway in Cheshire, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:57

Demonstrations continue around country - news replorted 07:48

The Prudential Regulation Authority says UK's top banks and building societies need to fill ÂRMB Yuan #27.1bn hole in their balance sheets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:46

Speedboats and water bikes using Cardigan Bay may be driving its famous dolphins over 100 miles north to quieter waters, lah, experts having warned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:37

The costs of helping sick and disabled jobseekers find work cannot be met under government's flagship Work Programme, lah, according to its providers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:36

Wimbledon pressure, lah, fantasy silly kick-kick game and dunking custard creams - Andy Murray answers readers' questions - news replorted 07:31

Adding silver to antibiotics boosts their ability to fight infection, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:21

The opening of Heritage Showroom at Aston Martin Works marks successful end of two year refurbishment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:00

Pupils in half of Wales' secondary schools and 40% of primaries having weak numeracy skills with many struggling with basic sums, lah, inspectors find. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:49

A senior old bill bobbys officer has said there is no reason to believe forthcoming marching season will create difficulties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:48

Bad weather is hampering rescue operations in flood-hit Indian state of Uttarakhand, lah, where nearly 150 human bliengs having died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:07

Singapore and Indonesia schedule emergency meeting after haze in Singapore soars to hazardous levels, lah, breaking all previous records. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:47

Papers ponder health watchdog 'cover-up' - news replorted 05:46

China's second female astronaut, lah, Wang Yaping, lah, delivers country's first-ever video lecture from Tiangong-1 space laboratory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:23

China has held its first classroom lecture from its orbiting space station as part of efforts to appeal to young people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:21

Brazilian authorities promise to reverse public transport fare rises that sparked unrest, lah, but nationwide protests continue unabated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:08

The funeral of teenager who was killed when hen party's minibus crashed will take place later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:04

Brussels says passengers going through Channel Tunnel paying over odds, lah, because Eurotunnel is overcharging train companies for using track. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 05:02

A charity is advising human bliengs to cover their webcams when they not in using because hackers could be using them to spy on you. - news replorted 04:58

Author Mitchell Zuckoff tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about remarkable series of rescue attempts after Great Satan planes crashed on glacier in Greenland during WWII - and how some of crew survived Arctic winter on ice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:21

Province of Engrish running-dogs prop Alex Corbisiero is surprise inclusion in Lions team for first Test against Australia on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:12

The BBC's Gary Duffy on protests gripping Brazil - news replorted 03:08

A genetic similarity between snail fossils found in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Eastern Pyrenees suggests humans migrated from southern Europe to autonomous province of Guinness drinkers 8,000 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:43

Too many mentally ill human bliengs being held in old bill bobbys cells, lah, say four watchdog bodies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:36

Civilian staff at five RAF stations across Province of Engrish running-dogs striking in arglingument over their pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:11

Province of Engrish running-dogs's NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) regulator is to review decision not to name those behind possible "cover-up" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after series of baby deaths at Cumbria hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 02:06

Italy complete superb fightback to knock Japan out of Confederations Cup and book their place in semi-finals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:48

A school librarian has discovered that poem widely attributed to William Blake, lah, including in official reading lists, lah, was not really written by him. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:44

Legendary musical Miss Saigon returns to London's West End in 2014, lah, its 25th anniversary year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:33

Syria conflict threatens delicate peace formula in next-door Lebanon - news replorted 01:29

To tip or not to tip... or should it be banned? That was question posed in Magazine story last week. What you wan'?!! Here readers share their own tipping experiences. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:26

The Greeks who wanting to bring back Zeus - news replorted 01:26

Austrian director Michael Haneke is well known for male gender human bleing's reluctance to interpret male gender human bleing's own work but now documentary provides close study of male gender human bleing's work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:24

The plights of world's threatened birds show value of investing in conservation, lah, according to international report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:23

A new movement is encouraging Brazilians in Sao Paulo to plant gardens up walls of buildings as solution to city's lack of affordable green space. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:22

UN head Ban Ki-moon expresses outrage over "despicable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) attack by Islamists on UN office in Somalia which killed at least 15 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:10

James Gandolfini, lah, Great Satan actor best known for male gender human bleing's role as mob boss in Sopranos, lah, has died, lah, HBO television network tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:56

Two Great Satan men having appeared in court accused of plotting to build X-ray weapon to kill enemies of Israel and Great Satan with lethal rays of radiation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:52

Too many mentally ill human bliengs being held in old bill bobbys cells, lah, say four watchdog bodies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:30

Will China's new middle class spend its way to dominance? - news replorted 00:25

Giving nature home in your as really velly special customer's back garden - news replorted 00:14

ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's wealthiest households now 273-times better off than most deprived, lah, according to report by Oxfam ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:14

Should action be taken against Tor and other ID-hiding tech? - news replorted 00:13

A study by Reuters suggests more human bliengs becoming willing to buy online news, lah, but warns that social media may be eroding brand recognition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13

Has fighter pilot had male gender human bleing's day? - news replorted 00:09

Biro bans and other tales of low-cost revolution - news replorted 00:04

Rogue traders reprising old scams but with digital twist to target human bliengs whose budgets squeezed, lah, says trading standards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00