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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Volvo V70 1.6 D2 8v (115bhp) Business Edition Estate 5dr 1560cc Diesel at £472.16 inc VAT at 20:50 yesterday - Ling
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WEBSITE ADVICE
from Ling


Stop regarding website as a "thing". Regard it as real life, alive, like an animal or pet. You need to feed website EVERY day! Maybe like pet spider.

On other hand, spider can be baked like potato in China, delicious! hehe, with added bonus of 8 "drumsticks" per spider. Better value than frog or chicken - Ling


I am so pleased that most people like website. Recently, I have many questions asked about how to make own site that works like my site. Here are Ling thoughts...


Most people and business look at website wrong way. Try plugging head into 240v mains electric to clear brain.

Website is like an extension of you, person behind business. Are you alive? Then website should be alive. Do you change, have emotion, get angry, get happy? Then website should do all these things. Here is how (in Ling humble opinion):


Learn how to do basic editing on website. Use program like Macromedia Dreamweaver and sit with clever druggy student who show you some basic skill. It is actually quite easy. Learn to do things in source code. This is trick. Then you UNDERSTAND. Suddenly you say WAH! Then easy. You are capable adult, you can learn this stuff if you have interest. You can view source code of pages, and copy and paste something to duplicate an idea from someone else's site. Or to do same thing again on your own site. Every time I do something like this window, I just copy paste and then change text and pictures. Not do it from scratch. So easy!



Whatever question, any question, answer is always "DATABASE". If you are showing any "things" on website ALWAYS use database. SQL (MySQL) is best and free, Access is Microsoft shit but works OK I suppose. Always begin by creating database. This is so, so important. Talk to student, pay money to get this right! If you do this well, you may be able to run WHOLE BUSINESS from website database, making website pivot of business. This is how it should be, as website is more real than a real shop.

Get a nice FTP client like WS-FTP and be familiar with it. FTP like mad, up, down, up, down into your server space. Learn this. Do things live on web. Send up, refresh page, look, change, send up again, refresh, look, change and so on. Nobody just gets it right. Ask drug student to help when you hit errors, you soon understand. (Always save old page under different name - I use > symbol after page name so I can restore it if I go wrong).

And that's it! Now just extend your life into your webpage. You get an idea, put it up! You get a letter, just post it up! You want a picture, google image search, fanny to size, then post! So quick, so easy, so alive. Avoid mistake of writing like you are doing PR booklet. Talk normally, express emotions. DO NOT get someone else to write your stuff!!! Visitors are normal people, they like "feeling". Best TV programs have emotion and feeling. Website same!... Do you read and understand this, or are you stupid dumb dumb who goes down boring "professional" route? All you do there is throw money. I am talking about throwing your feelings. Gettit?

Most business make mistake of paying a company to build page, without learning. Learn! Modify, change. Don't pay the idiots to do this, do it yourself. Treat webpage like business office or shop. If you want to move a desk in office you move it. Put calendar on wall, you put. Do the same on website. Do every day. So simple. All your customers can see this. They get "feeling" from it.

Just make sure pages load right. Test each page all the time. Be your website's best visitor. Keep an eye on stats. Make sure up, up, up.

Make sure website can do everything normal person can do if they visit your shop in real life. Avoid long forms, think like customer. So easy all this. Now promote website by every means, fax shot, letter, find an advertising site bring you traffic.

Last, don't let 1 day go by without changing or feeding or petting website, even tiny thing. If you don't feed website it will die. Like pet. This is all emotion, not fact. You think I'm wrong? Look at your website, look at my website. When last time you even visit, never mind change? In real life you tell jokes, eat, drink, shout etc; do all this on website! Wah, this is so simple but most people consume in "professionalism". Visitor just want website to work well for them.

That's it. Sorry if this is too long. Sorry if you expect more. Hope this helps you, please let me know! - Ling

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THE UK's FAVOURITE
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Wah! LATEST:  The Hong Kong government is to meet student leaders for talks on ending pro-democracy street protests that now in their fourth week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 04:02



Wah! LATEST:  Christophe de Margerie, lah, head of French oil company, lah, Total, lah, has been killed in crash at Vnukovo airport in Moscow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 03:41



Wah! Oscar Pistorius' siblings describe their heartache and criticise media coverage of male gender human bleing's trial, lah, on eve of South African athlete's sentencing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Australian old bill bobbys abandon fighty bang-bang crimes investigation into deaths in East Timor in 1975 of "Balibo Five" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) journalists, lah, citing insufficient evidence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:46



Wah! A child is killed by violence every five minutes in world, lah, leading charity says, lah, calling for new targets to end all forms of child abuse by 2030. - news replorted 02:43



Wah! Scientists say they having identified underlying reason why some human bliengs prone to winter blues, lah, or seasonal affective disorder (SAD). - news replorted 02:21



Wah! David Attenborough's new series on journey through life - news replorted 01:47



Wah! A man who struck two Canadian soldiers with male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine before bloody man was shot dead by old bill bobbys had been "radicalised", lah, Canada's PM says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! What happened to kids from 1970s experimental schools? - news replorted 01:37



Wah! The government is launching advertising campaign urging benefit claimants to report changes in circumstances or face jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:25



Wah! MPs to debate whether voters should be able to deselect them using "power of recall" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if they commit wrongdoings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:22



Wah! The photographer who snapped Gandalf and Jean-Luc Picard - news replorted 01:19



Wah! Robbers and muggers who using guns or knives in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep would face tougher prison sentences under proposed new guidelines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:17



Wah! The project that enabled paralysed man to walk again - news replorted 01:12



Wah! A paralysed man has been able to walk again after pioneering therapy that involved transplanting specialist cells into male gender human bleing's damaged spinal cord. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! Christophe de Margerie, lah, chief executive of French oil capitalist entity Total, lah, has died in Moscow air crash, lah, Vnukovo airport official confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:01



Wah! UKIP Commonwealth spokesman Winston McKenzie has said song UKIP Calypso, lah, which is performed with mock Caribbean accent by DJ Mike Read, lah, is "fantastic". - news replorted 00:53



Wah! A Shetland woman who has been caring for sick animals for more than 27 years is to receive prestigious award. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:47



Wah! Edinburgh hopes to be take step closer to hosting stage of Tour de France, lah, if funding for other cycling events is approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! Non-smokers living with smoker exposed to three times officially recommended safe levels of damaging air particles, lah, according to study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:45



Wah! Winds up to 75mph expected to hit some parts of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land as remains of Hurricane Gonzalo pass over country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:45



Wah! The discovery that transformed theories of human evolution - news replorted 00:32



Wah! Salisbury is named as "must-see" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and one of best cities in world to visit next year by travel guide Lonely Planet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! How racing tube went global - news replorted 00:24



Wah! old bill bobbys Ombudsman Michael Maguire criticises role of PSNI in On Runs scheme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:20



Wah! The Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Assembly has voted by 91 votes to 10 in favour of making it crime (shoud shoot them) to pay for sex. - news replorted 00:11



Wah! The man who magically made maths fun - news replorted 00:08



Wah! What did riot at pumpkin festival show about race in US? - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell first ix35 Fuel Cell clustomler vehicling driving car machines having arrived in UK, lah, continuing Hyundai’s global roll-out of world’s f - news replorted 00:01



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