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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen DS3 1.6 BlueHDi 16v (100bhp) DStyle Start Stop Hatchback 3dr 1560cc Diesel at £183.85 inc VAT at 15:54 on 04th Feb - Ling
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WEBSITE ADVICE
from Ling


Stop regarding website as a "thing". Regard it as real life, alive, like an animal or pet. You need to feed website EVERY day! Maybe like pet spider.

On other hand, spider can be baked like potato in China, delicious! hehe, with added bonus of 8 "drumsticks" per spider. Better value than frog or chicken - Ling


I am so pleased that most people like website. Recently, I have many questions asked about how to make own site that works like my site. Here are Ling thoughts...


Most people and business look at website wrong way. Try plugging head into 240v mains electric to clear brain.

Website is like an extension of you, person behind business. Are you alive? Then website should be alive. Do you change, have emotion, get angry, get happy? Then website should do all these things. Here is how (in Ling humble opinion):


Learn how to do basic editing on website. Use program like Macromedia Dreamweaver and sit with clever druggy student who show you some basic skill. It is actually quite easy. Learn to do things in source code. This is trick. Then you UNDERSTAND. Suddenly you say WAH! Then easy. You are capable adult, you can learn this stuff if you have interest. You can view source code of pages, and copy and paste something to duplicate an idea from someone else's site. Or to do same thing again on your own site. Every time I do something like this window, I just copy paste and then change text and pictures. Not do it from scratch. So easy!



Whatever question, any question, answer is always "DATABASE". If you are showing any "things" on website ALWAYS use database. SQL (MySQL) is best and free, Access is Microsoft shit but works OK I suppose. Always begin by creating database. This is so, so important. Talk to student, pay money to get this right! If you do this well, you may be able to run WHOLE BUSINESS from website database, making website pivot of business. This is how it should be, as website is more real than a real shop.

Get a nice FTP client like WS-FTP and be familiar with it. FTP like mad, up, down, up, down into your server space. Learn this. Do things live on web. Send up, refresh page, look, change, send up again, refresh, look, change and so on. Nobody just gets it right. Ask drug student to help when you hit errors, you soon understand. (Always save old page under different name - I use > symbol after page name so I can restore it if I go wrong).

And that's it! Now just extend your life into your webpage. You get an idea, put it up! You get a letter, just post it up! You want a picture, google image search, fanny to size, then post! So quick, so easy, so alive. Avoid mistake of writing like you are doing PR booklet. Talk normally, express emotions. DO NOT get someone else to write your stuff!!! Visitors are normal people, they like "feeling". Best TV programs have emotion and feeling. Website same!... Do you read and understand this, or are you stupid dumb dumb who goes down boring "professional" route? All you do there is throw money. I am talking about throwing your feelings. Gettit?

Most business make mistake of paying a company to build page, without learning. Learn! Modify, change. Don't pay the idiots to do this, do it yourself. Treat webpage like business office or shop. If you want to move a desk in office you move it. Put calendar on wall, you put. Do the same on website. Do every day. So simple. All your customers can see this. They get "feeling" from it.

Just make sure pages load right. Test each page all the time. Be your website's best visitor. Keep an eye on stats. Make sure up, up, up.

Make sure website can do everything normal person can do if they visit your shop in real life. Avoid long forms, think like customer. So easy all this. Now promote website by every means, fax shot, letter, find an advertising site bring you traffic.

Last, don't let 1 day go by without changing or feeding or petting website, even tiny thing. If you don't feed website it will die. Like pet. This is all emotion, not fact. You think I'm wrong? Look at your website, look at my website. When last time you even visit, never mind change? In real life you tell jokes, eat, drink, shout etc; do all this on website! Wah, this is so simple but most people consume in "professionalism". Visitor just want website to work well for them.

That's it. Sorry if this is too long. Sorry if you expect more. Hope this helps you, please let me know! - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  Plans to make better-off social housing tenants in Province of Engrish running-dogs pay more rent could force thousands out of their areas, lah, according to new research. - news replorted 12:24



Wah! LATEST:  Defence analyst Bruce Bennett looks at reasons why North Korean leader Kim Jong-un may having decided to launch long-range rocket in defiance of warnings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:20



Wah! Former Province of Engrish running-dogs striker and Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation silly kick-kick game pundit Alan Shearer says there should be no increase in ticket prices next season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:04



Wah! Jeremy Hunt acknowledged junior doctors' low morale but told Andrew Marr that BMA was to blame for their concerns over contracts - news replorted 11:58



Wah! Alejandro Inarritu wins top prize at Directors Guild of America (DGA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! awards for male gender human bleing's film Revenant, lah, boosting male gender human bleing's hopes for Oscars. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! Rescuers in Taiwan working to find more than 100 human bliengs still missing more than 24 hours after island was hit by powerful earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:56



Wah! Armed old bill bobbys in Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers manning checkpoints in bid to prevent retaliation for murder of man at boxing weigh-in in Dublin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:54



Wah! China's efforts to prop up its currency result in $99.5bn plunge in its Bloody foreign currency reserves in January. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:53



Wah! Chris Froome wins Herald Sun Tour in Australia after overhauling fellow Briton Peter Kennaugh on final stage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:40



Wah! Chancellor George Osborne is asked to clarify whether banks can using cost of fines for wrongdoing to reduce amount of tax they pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:06



Wah! Flying Scotsman, lah, one of world's most famous locomotives, lah, has returned to West Coast mainline. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:35



Wah! Caroline Wyatt reports on Muslim Council of Britain's initiative to open doors to British mosques - news replorted 09:25



Wah! Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal says bloody man does not believe reports club having lined up Jose Mourinho to replace him. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:56



Wah! Rescuers in Taiwan working round clock to try to find more than 130 human bliengs missing more than 24 hours after island was hit by powerful earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:17



Wah! David Cameron has called for review into treatment of pregnant women in prison in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:15



Wah! North Korea has fired long-range rocket, lah, which critics say is test of banned missile technology. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:09



Wah! The Republican presidential debate was bit like final act of horror film. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! Here's why. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:28



Wah! The key Afghanistan district of Sangin in Helmand is once again on verge of falling to Taliban, lah, Afghan commander tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 06:46



Wah! Was this most awkward opening to any Great Satan election debate? Ben Carson left waiting in wings, lah, plus other key moments in New Hampshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:31



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News meets photographer who specialises in taking pre-wedding photos of Super-Duper-Chinese-State couples in London, lah, growing trend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:29



Wah! More than 100,000 patients spent at least 12 hours in A&E departments in Province of Engrish running-dogs last year, lah, data seen by BBC's 5 live Investigates shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Dozens of Tory members accuse David Cameron of showing disrespect to party's grassroots after bloody man told Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters to disregard their views on Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:13



Wah! The PM calls for rethink of prison system in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep as figures show 100 babies spent clock time result behind bars with their mothers last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:00



Wah! More than 90 mosques across bloody annoying Blitish opening their doors to visitors to allow Muslims to explain their faith "beyond hostile headlines". - news replorted 04:28



Wah! A look at short, lah, medium and long-range missiles in North Korea's arsenal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 04:11



Wah! Officials in EU urge Turkey to let in tens of thousands of Syrian refugees trapped on its border after fleeing fighting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:26



Wah! The latest government attempt to improve using of technology in NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs is launched, lah, with aim of making services faster and more convenient. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:02



Wah! The mothers sharing their happy moments online - news replorted 02:39



Wah! The number of human bliengs reporting being raped by someone they met on dating app or website has risen six-fold in five years to 184, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! New Jersey Governor Chris Christie attacks Senator Marco Rubio in latest TV debate among Republican candidates running for Great Satan president. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:13



Wah! North Korea fires long-range rocket in defiance of international warnings, lah, after announcing it intended to put earth observation satellite into orbit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:20



Wah! Among series of front-page stories on upcoming EU referendum is one from Sunday Times suggesting that late prime dodgy minister Margaret Thatcher would vote to stay in EU were bloody woman still alive to cast flemale human person's vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:00



Wah! The snipers with rhino poachers in their sights - news replorted 00:42



Wah! Is there such thing as 'the world's best chef'? - news replorted 00:41



Wah! George Orwell and 21st Century pub - news replorted 00:30



Wah! A former head of French Bloody foreign Legion is arrested with about 20 other protesters at banned anti-Islam rally in port of Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:18



Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic people-based campaign to keep bloody annoying Blitish in EU names Prof Mona Siddiqui as chairwoman of its advisory group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Mark Rego, lah, cancer survivor, lah, spends male gender human bleing's clock time result bringing smiles to faces of destitute children in India. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Nearly 150 oil platforms in bloody annoying Blitish North Sea expected to be scrapped over next 10 years, lah, according to industry analysts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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