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WEBSITE ADVICE
from Ling


Stop regarding website as a "thing". Regard it as real life, alive, like an animal or pet. You need to feed website EVERY day! Maybe like pet spider.

On other hand, spider can be baked like potato in China, delicious! hehe, with added bonus of 8 "drumsticks" per spider. Better value than frog or chicken - Ling


I am so pleased that most people like website. Recently, I have many questions asked about how to make own site that works like my site. Here are Ling thoughts...


Most people and business look at website wrong way. Try plugging head into 240v mains electric to clear brain.

Website is like an extension of you, person behind business. Are you alive? Then website should be alive. Do you change, have emotion, get angry, get happy? Then website should do all these things. Here is how (in Ling humble opinion):


Learn how to do basic editing on website. Use program like Macromedia Dreamweaver and sit with clever druggy student who show you some basic skill. It is actually quite easy. Learn to do things in source code. This is trick. Then you UNDERSTAND. Suddenly you say WAH! Then easy. You are capable adult, you can learn this stuff if you have interest. You can view source code of pages, and copy and paste something to duplicate an idea from someone else's site. Or to do same thing again on your own site. Every time I do something like this window, I just copy paste and then change text and pictures. Not do it from scratch. So easy!



Whatever question, any question, answer is always "DATABASE". If you are showing any "things" on website ALWAYS use database. SQL (MySQL) is best and free, Access is Microsoft shit but works OK I suppose. Always begin by creating database. This is so, so important. Talk to student, pay money to get this right! If you do this well, you may be able to run WHOLE BUSINESS from website database, making website pivot of business. This is how it should be, as website is more real than a real shop.

Get a nice FTP client like WS-FTP and be familiar with it. FTP like mad, up, down, up, down into your server space. Learn this. Do things live on web. Send up, refresh page, look, change, send up again, refresh, look, change and so on. Nobody just gets it right. Ask drug student to help when you hit errors, you soon understand. (Always save old page under different name - I use > symbol after page name so I can restore it if I go wrong).

And that's it! Now just extend your life into your webpage. You get an idea, put it up! You get a letter, just post it up! You want a picture, google image search, fanny to size, then post! So quick, so easy, so alive. Avoid mistake of writing like you are doing PR booklet. Talk normally, express emotions. DO NOT get someone else to write your stuff!!! Visitors are normal people, they like "feeling". Best TV programs have emotion and feeling. Website same!... Do you read and understand this, or are you stupid dumb dumb who goes down boring "professional" route? All you do there is throw money. I am talking about throwing your feelings. Gettit?

Most business make mistake of paying a company to build page, without learning. Learn! Modify, change. Don't pay the idiots to do this, do it yourself. Treat webpage like business office or shop. If you want to move a desk in office you move it. Put calendar on wall, you put. Do the same on website. Do every day. So simple. All your customers can see this. They get "feeling" from it.

Just make sure pages load right. Test each page all the time. Be your website's best visitor. Keep an eye on stats. Make sure up, up, up.

Make sure website can do everything normal person can do if they visit your shop in real life. Avoid long forms, think like customer. So easy all this. Now promote website by every means, fax shot, letter, find an advertising site bring you traffic.

Last, don't let 1 day go by without changing or feeding or petting website, even tiny thing. If you don't feed website it will die. Like pet. This is all emotion, not fact. You think I'm wrong? Look at your website, look at my website. When last time you even visit, never mind change? In real life you tell jokes, eat, drink, shout etc; do all this on website! Wah, this is so simple but most people consume in "professionalism". Visitor just want website to work well for them.

That's it. Sorry if this is too long. Sorry if you expect more. Hope this helps you, please let me know! - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  The BBC's Katie Collins reports on possible cover-up relating to using of hormonal pregnancy test, lah, Primodos. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:37



Wah! LATEST:  People with mental health illnesses being asked to blog about their condition to help themselves and others. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:36



Wah! The government is planning to scrap using of old bill bobbys cautions - where those who commit minor offences given formal warning - in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:27



Wah! Sir Richard Branson has vowed to continue male gender human bleing's space tourism venture despite compulsorly dying instantly crash of one of male gender human bleing's craft in California desert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:17



Wah! Virgin founder Sir Richard Branson vows to continue male gender human bleing's space tourism venture despite SpaceShipTwo craft crashing in US, lah, killing pilot. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:17



Wah! An increasing number of health workers worry that they may face discrimination when they return home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:12



Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama and First Lady Michelle welcome some special guests to White House for trick-or-treat Halloween celebration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:48



Wah! Iraqi Kurdish Peshmerga fighters cross Turkish border to help defend Syrian town of Kobane from Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:47



Wah! Tens of thousands of mourners expected to attend funeral of murdered South African silly kick-kick game captain Senzo Meyiwa in Durban. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:33



Wah! A woman is stabbed to death in east London (capital of Great England) before man, lah, who old bill bobbys say knew her, lah, dies after being found lying in street. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:51



Wah! Bright students from state schools at risk of missing out on university because of their uncertain immigration status. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:19



Wah! A split emerges within Burkina Faso's armed forces over who is leading country following resignation of President Blaise Campaore. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:14



Wah! Results from citizen science online experiment suggests that Spice Girls' Wannabe is UK's catchiest hit single. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:33



Wah! A study by Cancer Research bloody annoying Blitish reveals black and South Asian ethnic groups in Province of Engrish running-dogs less aware of cancer symptoms than human bliengs with white backgrounds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:56



Wah! The Uruguayan government announces start of registration for licensed cannabis growers as part of its plan to legalise drug. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:45



Wah! Militant group Boko Haram denies claim (always claiming, huh?) by Nigeria's government that it has agreed to ceasefire and will release 219 abducted girls. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! The BBC's Lucas de Jong found one place in Singapore where interior designer Terry Goh has spent seven years making Ni hao! Ni hao! Kitty centre of attention. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! The Bloody foreign Office warns British travellers they could be targeted by terrorists seeking revenge for bloody annoying Blitish air strikes against Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:24



Wah! Sir Robin Knox-Johnston, lah, Briton who in 1960s became first person to sail round world on male gender human bleing's own without stopping, lah, is about to return to ocean racing at age of 75. - news replorted 01:18



Wah! In age of "binge-watching" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) programmes, lah, Great Satan podcast series is gripping audiences around world who hooked on its weekly instalments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:14



Wah! No clear verdict can be made about military campaign in Afghanistan, lah, says Nick Childs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:52



Wah! The using of old bill bobbys cautions - where those who commit minor offences given formal warning - is set to be scrapped in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! The conservation charity WWF ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land cautions against moves to scrap Air Passenger Duty for departures from ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:42



Wah! Relatives of those killed in Britain's first naval defeat of World fighty bang-bang One pay tribute in Chile - news replorted 00:41



Wah! The blind maestro leading all-blind orchestra - news replorted 00:32



Wah! Movember turns its attention to men's mental health - news replorted 00:05



Wah! From zebra crossings to bus stations: Province of Engrish running-dogs's surprising listed buildings - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Are Corsica's days of mafia and militants over? - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Why wives take man's name after marriage? - news replorted 00:00



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