Show FAQ
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)

LIVE CHAT

Props/Quotes

- - Offline
Wai
- - Offline
Randall
- - Offline
Yajun
- - Offline
Ling V

Admin

- - Offline
Guy
- - Offline
Holly
- - Offline
Jon
- - Offline
Adrian

Aftersales

- - Offline
Ling V
CAR LEASING
Want a cheap
new lease car?

Start HERE!


Cheapest Car Leasing CHAT
My Customer Letters!
My Fun Pages!
Read All About Me!
Note: I live inside this website Monday to Friday 9am-6pm, to give you the very best service and make your experience a happy one! - I am Ling, accept no substitutes
Car LeasingCar Leasing
Vote for your favourite motorway sign message!
Version 237.1.
You can trust me! ... In 2010 I rented over £35million of cars (at RRP).
Spacer
Spacer
CAR LEASING - CONTRACT HIRE - CHEAP LEASE CARS
Home
Cars and Vans
How It Works
Price Lists
About Ling
Customers
 Fun Stuff
Quote/ Order
 
Quiz Ling's Movies Chinese Car Websites Free Cash Apply Noodle Apply Werthers My Bus
Speed Cameras Chop Gear Mongol Rally UK Rallycross LingTube Website Advice Website Article
Car Flu Car Websites Google Censorship Missle Truck Top 10 Car Ads Suspension Movie Personal Plates Motoring Law Help Chinese Vote Now! World Cup 2006 Burma Pledge Hangman BBC News Monetise Twitter iPad vs iLing SuperMondays MOT Game Bottom Trumps FREE Ling Badge Halloween Cars First Aid
Top Matrix Sign Messages Karaoke Madness Stupid Crash Game

Loading...

The twitter pigeon is loading "LINGsCARS"
LIVE + KICKING twitter feed... WAIT!

New!
Intro Film News Blog Office TV Contact Moan Links Play Quiz Privacy Policy Google Visitors
Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

UK WARNING: Customers reporting many other internet prices hiding true lease costs! Beware dodgy companies selling high initial rental "6+" leases
Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
Food --->
Google Spider Food

View LIVE visitors: 11 online

 
Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Peugeot Expert 1.6 HDi (90bhp) L1 H1 1000 Professional Van 1560cc Diesel at £254.42 inc VAT at 08:03 on 24th Oct - Ling
Car Leasing Traffic Light
Candybar
  EXTRA CHEAP!
  EXTRA CHEAP!
LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! My best car deals!
        
MOVIES!
To see more films, movies and TV adverts, visit my YouTube page!
I HAVE HALF A MILLION
YOUTUBE VIEWS!





JUMP 2012!

Ling of LINGsCARS patiently explains to a slow and reluctant audience, how to make online customers happy using subliminal mind-torture and the power of swearing. It's the EConsultancy JUMP conference, October 11th 2012. Regularly grasping victory from the jaws of poor coding, flashing gifs and defeat, Ling intends to describe how she squeezes every last cent out of her customers and how she takes complaining web visitors by the neck and rams them through her car leasing sausage machine. All while making them very happy. This presentation does not include any Thai prostitutes, or dogs playing poker. You won't understand a word of it. Chopsticks are optional.






Future of Digital Marketing!

In June 2012, I travelled to the e-Consultancy FODM conference in London and gave a basic lesson in internet marketing and customer strategy to over 200 of the highest ranking online marketing bods in the UK!
They were amazed that I can polarise visitors and emotionalise everything about me and my website. I told them how they need to improve their own marketing by taking a leaf out of my book!
I speak Chinese for the first five minutes to confuse everyone and desensitise them to my ideas, watch and learn!


e-Consultanct FODM





Me on BBC Radio Newcastle!

On 14th July 2011, I was invited by BBC Newcastle to gob off about the new series of Dragons' Den. Below, I made a video of the out-takes, and the proper transmission (being a radio programme) is audio only.

BBC Radio Newcastle
Outakes video
  BBC Radio Newcastle MP3 recording
MP3 full radio interview





Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester!

In July 2011, I gave a business briefing to 50 high-powered company directors assembled by top Manchester Accountancy firm, Saffrey Champness. I took my .30 cal Browning machine-gun because Manchester is the gun captial of the North.

In 2 parts, this video gives you a good overview of my business, and my new Chinese clothes business.


Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester Part 1
Part 1
  Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester Part 2
Part 2






AWARD CEREMONY!

Ling wins national AWARD and receives her prize at the Dorchester Hotel!


Ling at the EveryWoman Awards






My ITV ad campaign!

In 2008, I ran a series of TV adverts on ITV. I had fantastic fun making them, and they caused a storm.
One got banned! ITV objected to me calling people from Sunderland "Mackams" and people from Middlesbrough "Smogmonsters". That was outrageous political correctness, as these are clearly sweet terms of endearment.

The adverts were filmed on a budget of 10p and did the job, providing a big pre-credit-crunch boost to sales! Subsequently, the series of adverts went on to win awards...

2008 Fresh TV Awards Winner!

The "Fresh Awards 2008" recognise outstanding creativity and innovation outside the M25 in Creative, TV, Digital, Media and PR.

LINGsCARS.com "ImproPlug" is the winner of the 2008 TV Advertising Campaign category for outstanding innovation, originality and execution. The producers: Kevin Owens/Matthew Newman (Your-Film), booking agency (AdMast), star turn Ling Valentine.









My TV advert #1

TV Ad#1 "Best thing about selling cars is to make money"





My TV advert #2

TV Ad#2 "My favourite website is ...LINGsCARS.com!"





My TV advert #3

TV Ad#3 "What are you talking about? W..W..W..W..dot com!"





My TV advert #4

TV Ad#4 "Perfect Chinglish" - TV ad in Chinese!





My TV advert #5

TV Ad#5 "Mackams and Smogmonsters" - "racist" TV ad banned by ITV!





To see more films, movies and TV adverts, visit my YouTube page!
DOCUMENTARY!


POST-ADVERT DOCUMENTARY!

Matthew Newman at Your-Film Shares his experience creating the adverts for Ling!

Matthew's post advert interview
Matthew's Experience (contains swearing)

Get your own award-winning films and adverts made by Your Film Your Film



MORE LING MOVIES!!

Here's a selection of other movies and fun stuff! Enjoy them! - Ling!






BBC DRAGONS' DEN!

I turn down investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh on BBC 2 Dragons' Den.

- Note, you must download and play this movie locally, as YouTube think it is copyright BBC.


BBC 2 Dragons' Den pitch (44Mb, 11 mins)





MONGOL RALLY!

In 2006, I sent 2 brave Gateshead boyz to their near-deaths from Gateshead to Ulan Bator in a Fiat Cinquecento!

Pre Monogl Rally
Monogl Rally (pre)
  Monogl Rally Event
Mongol Rally (event)

Bored? ...read the full story of the Mongol Rally adventure HERE





YET MORE LING MOVIES!!

Here's a selection of other movies and fun stuff! Enjoy them! - Ling!





RALLYCROSS!

I sponsored the UK Rallycross Championship. In between, I sent Lina and Lulu to torture the racing drivers!
I have had lots of complaints from Chinese who understand the Cantonese! It is quite rude!!

Lina and Lulu
Lina and Lulu driver interviews...
  Lina and Lulu poisioning drivers
Lina and Lulu noodle poisoning...


... after poisioning them and humiliating them, I sent 2 English girls, Emma and Vikki to further embarass the drivers and to get them to demonstrate driving techniques using my wok!

Emma and Vikki
Emma and Vikki driving my wok (contains swearing!)...





BBC RADIO and TV INTERVIEWS!

The BBC often invite me to do radio and TV interviews. I take along a movie camera. Here are a selection...!

BBC Radio Tees
BBC Radio TEES
  BBC Radio 5
BBC Radio 5 Live!
BBC Newcastle
BBC Newcastle - Google fight!
  BBC Look North
BBC Look North - Dragons' Den on the news!





NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK and LONDON BUS!

My converted Chinese Army rocket truck has caused panic at the council and letters from John Prescott, and my London Routemaster bus featured on the BBC after I made this short film...!

Stuck and Swimming
Stuck and swimming in river!
  Financial Times
Financial Times photoshoot!
Thunderbirds
Thunderbirds are go!
  Summer Holiday
Summer holiday!





LOCAL EVENTS AND PROMOTION!

Locally in the North East, I cause a stir "saving" Northern Rock, and giving many talks to local businesses...!

Northern Rock
Saving Northern Rock, I invest my cash!
  Gateshead Enterprise
2007 Gateshead Enterprise Awards!





WORLD CUP 2006 PROMOTION

During a visit to the UK during the World Cup 2006, my crazy sis Shan dresses as a Red Guard and gives away flags! Mental, but true.

World Cup
My sister gives away EN-GER-LAND flags!





BEIJING OLYMPICS AND VIZ!

I filmed a Beijing Olympics "closing ceremony rehearsal" film; it got 10,000 views and caused a war in the UK and in China! I am also VIZ comic's ethnic minority business Ambassador. Please send Ferrari Rochers!

Beijing Olympics
Beijing Olympic UK rehearsal!
  Billy the fish
Billy the Fish meets Ling!





CHOPGEAR ROADTESTS!

My crazy ex-red guard sister Shan came to the UK and filmed a series of Top Gear spoof road tests...!

Chopgear SAAB 9-3
SAAB 9-3 roadtest!
  Chopgear Ford Fiesta
Ford Fiesta roadtest!
 
Chopgear Vauxhall Vectra
Vauxhall Vectra roadtest!
  Chopgear Nissan Terrano
Nissan Terrano roadtest!
 
Chopgear Renault Scenic
Renault Scenic roadtest!
  Chopgear Fiat Punto
Fiat Punto roadtest!
 
Chopgear VW Golf
VW Golf roadtest!
  Chopgear Ford Focus
Ford Focus roadtest!
 
Chopgear BMW 7-Series
BMW 7-Series roadtest!
  Chopgear Vauxhall Astra
Vauxhall Astra roadtest!
 
Chopgear Nissan Almera
Nissan Almera roadtest!
 
lingscars.com
CLICK! See 244 clients live in LINGO!
Live!!
CLICK to VIEW!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
 
69 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
 
175 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
Lingscars.com Limited (GB)
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling
WOW! UK's best service times!
No Waiting
lingscars.com
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
Spacer

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  The last bloody annoying Blitish base in Afghanistan is handed over to control of Afghan security forces, lah, ending British combat operations in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:43



Wah! LATEST:  San Francisco Giants beat Kansas City Royals 11-4 in Game Four to level best-of-seven World Series at 2-2. - news replorted 07:36



Wah! New guidelines for head teachers in Province of Engrish running-dogs on situations in which pupils can be given clock time result off during term clock time result having been drawn up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:05



Wah! A Second World fighty bang-bang bunker used by Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini is being opened to public for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:19



Wah! Uruguayans will elect new president to replace outgoing Jose Mujica who is barred by law from running for second term. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 03:23



Wah! Brazilians will choose between Dilma Rousseff and Aecio Neves in what correspondents say is tightest presidential election for decades. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:14



Wah! Ukrainian voters will go to polls to elect new parliament, lah, amid continuing conflict with pro-Russian rebels in east. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:55



Wah! Tunisia is set to hold its first election under new constitution passed earlier this year following 2011 uprising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:41



Wah! Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is UK's favourite song to listen to when human bliengs feel unwell or down, lah, poll suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:32



Wah! The ruling Botswana Democratic Party (BDP) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! wins general elections for world's largest diamond producer with 33 of 57 seats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34



Wah! A Great Satan nurse quarantined for Ebola after working in Sierra Leone criticises flemale human person's treatment, lah, as US's UN envoy starts visit to West Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:31



Wah! Detailed plans to kidnap prison officer in bid to escape from prison on Isle of Wight were found in cell of Muslim inmate, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation can reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! A mixed group of stories in Sunday's papers, lah, including Angela Merkel's defence of existing EU migration rules, lah, and doctors who can earn ĀRMB Yuan #3,000 per weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! A look at some of Georgian pieces in Royal Family's costume store. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:44



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out looks at experiences of Muslim soldiers fighting for Britain in Afghanistan against enemy of same faith. - news replorted 00:43



Wah! The bedroom of First World fighty bang-bang soldier, lah, killed on battlefield almost century ago, lah, has been kept virtually untouched by successive owners of house up to present day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:27



Wah! Ed Miliband is to blame for Johann Lamont quitting as leader of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour Party, lah, Alex Salmond has claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Four leading Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs business groups speak out against increase in fees for planning applications due to come into effect later this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Profit warnings by UK-listed firms rise to their highest summer level for six years, lah, according to forecaster Ey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A record five million bloody annoying Blitish workers now in low-paid jobs, lah, rise of 250,000 in last year, lah, research from left-of-centre think tank suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



Spacer
5 Titanic Cars
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.5 CDI 107bhp 5dr
diesel, auto, met
Mercedes
B-Class
Grass
Click Here
£279.67
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.4 i VTEC 98bhp 5dr
petrol, man, non-met
Honda
Civic
Grass
Click Here
£216.86
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

3.0 TDI Qua... 245bhp 5dr
diesel, tip auto, met
Audi
Q7
Grass
Click Here
£667.56
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.0 i EcoBo... 98bhp 5dr
petrol, man, met
Ford
Focus
Grass
Click Here
£226.09
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

2.0 TDI CR 184bhp 5dr
diesel, man, met
Skoda
Octavia
Grass
Click Here
£273.67
per month, inc VAT
Titanic
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
Bottom trumps. Play me! Can you win???
PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!
Spacer
Free Delivery
Spacer
Spacer
Viz
Spacer
As seen on TV
Spacer
LINGsCARS is verified by Norton Security
Spacer
Traffic
Spacer
Live Google
Spacer
Titanic
Spacer
Auto email updates
Car update me!
Get my latest EMAIL car updates!
Spacer
Webcams
Spacer
Play Ling's quiz
Win!
Play my brilliant motoring quiz!
Spacer
Ryanair
Spacer
Ling's Awards
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
Extra Cheap Cars
EXTRA CHEAP
CARS
HERE
See 30 cheapest cars!
Spacer
Duncan Bannatyne
Spacer
LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling
Spacer
Workers
Spacer
Want a Quote?
Spacer
Nuclear Truck
My Nuclear
Missile Truck
Spacer
Contact Ling
Spacer
Portrait
Spacer
Tyres
Spacer
Not sponsored by


...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
Spacer
Honest John
Spacer
Dragons' Den
Spacer
LINGsCARS customer mosaic!
Spacer
As seen on TV... Plus over 30 movies!
Spacer
KFP
Spacer
Honest John
Spacer
KFP
Spacer
Honest John
Spacer
Play Ling's quiz
Win!
Play my brilliant motoring quiz!
Spacer
Duncan Bannatyne
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
LINGsCARS customer mosaic!
Spacer
Bottom trumps. Play me! Can you win???
PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!
Spacer
Titanic
Spacer
Want a Quote?
Spacer
Nuclear Truck
My Nuclear
Missile Truck
Spacer
Workers
Spacer
Tyres
Spacer
/* */