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Note: I live inside this website Monday to Friday 9am-6pm, to give you the very best service and make your experience a happy one! - I am Ling, accept no substitutes
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Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

UK WARNING: Customers reporting many other internet prices hiding true lease costs! Beware dodgy companies selling high initial rental "6+" leases
Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
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Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen C1 airscape 1.0 VTi 12v (68bhp) Flair Hatchback 5dr 998cc Petrol at £163.69 inc VAT at 10:55 yesterday - Ling
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LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! My best car deals!
        
MOVIES!
To see more films, movies and TV adverts, visit my YouTube page!
I HAVE HALF A MILLION
YOUTUBE VIEWS!





JUMP 2012!

Ling of LINGsCARS patiently explains to a slow and reluctant audience, how to make online customers happy using subliminal mind-torture and the power of swearing. It's the EConsultancy JUMP conference, October 11th 2012. Regularly grasping victory from the jaws of poor coding, flashing gifs and defeat, Ling intends to describe how she squeezes every last cent out of her customers and how she takes complaining web visitors by the neck and rams them through her car leasing sausage machine. All while making them very happy. This presentation does not include any Thai prostitutes, or dogs playing poker. You won't understand a word of it. Chopsticks are optional.






Future of Digital Marketing!

In June 2012, I travelled to the e-Consultancy FODM conference in London and gave a basic lesson in internet marketing and customer strategy to over 200 of the highest ranking online marketing bods in the UK!
They were amazed that I can polarise visitors and emotionalise everything about me and my website. I told them how they need to improve their own marketing by taking a leaf out of my book!
I speak Chinese for the first five minutes to confuse everyone and desensitise them to my ideas, watch and learn!


e-Consultanct FODM





Me on BBC Radio Newcastle!

On 14th July 2011, I was invited by BBC Newcastle to gob off about the new series of Dragons' Den. Below, I made a video of the out-takes, and the proper transmission (being a radio programme) is audio only.

BBC Radio Newcastle
Outakes video
  BBC Radio Newcastle MP3 recording
MP3 full radio interview





Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester!

In July 2011, I gave a business briefing to 50 high-powered company directors assembled by top Manchester Accountancy firm, Saffrey Champness. I took my .30 cal Browning machine-gun because Manchester is the gun captial of the North.

In 2 parts, this video gives you a good overview of my business, and my new Chinese clothes business.


Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester Part 1
Part 1
  Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester Part 2
Part 2






AWARD CEREMONY!

Ling wins national AWARD and receives her prize at the Dorchester Hotel!


Ling at the EveryWoman Awards






My ITV ad campaign!

In 2008, I ran a series of TV adverts on ITV. I had fantastic fun making them, and they caused a storm.
One got banned! ITV objected to me calling people from Sunderland "Mackams" and people from Middlesbrough "Smogmonsters". That was outrageous political correctness, as these are clearly sweet terms of endearment.

The adverts were filmed on a budget of 10p and did the job, providing a big pre-credit-crunch boost to sales! Subsequently, the series of adverts went on to win awards...

2008 Fresh TV Awards Winner!

The "Fresh Awards 2008" recognise outstanding creativity and innovation outside the M25 in Creative, TV, Digital, Media and PR.

LINGsCARS.com "ImproPlug" is the winner of the 2008 TV Advertising Campaign category for outstanding innovation, originality and execution. The producers: Kevin Owens/Matthew Newman (Your-Film), booking agency (AdMast), star turn Ling Valentine.









My TV advert #1

TV Ad#1 "Best thing about selling cars is to make money"





My TV advert #2

TV Ad#2 "My favourite website is ...LINGsCARS.com!"





My TV advert #3

TV Ad#3 "What are you talking about? W..W..W..W..dot com!"





My TV advert #4

TV Ad#4 "Perfect Chinglish" - TV ad in Chinese!





My TV advert #5

TV Ad#5 "Mackams and Smogmonsters" - "racist" TV ad banned by ITV!





To see more films, movies and TV adverts, visit my YouTube page!
DOCUMENTARY!


POST-ADVERT DOCUMENTARY!

Matthew Newman at Your-Film Shares his experience creating the adverts for Ling!

Matthew's post advert interview
Matthew's Experience (contains swearing)

Get your own award-winning films and adverts made by Your Film Your Film



MORE LING MOVIES!!

Here's a selection of other movies and fun stuff! Enjoy them! - Ling!






BBC DRAGONS' DEN!

I turn down investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh on BBC 2 Dragons' Den.

- Note, you must download and play this movie locally, as YouTube think it is copyright BBC.


BBC 2 Dragons' Den pitch (44Mb, 11 mins)





MONGOL RALLY!

In 2006, I sent 2 brave Gateshead boyz to their near-deaths from Gateshead to Ulan Bator in a Fiat Cinquecento!

Pre Monogl Rally
Monogl Rally (pre)
  Monogl Rally Event
Mongol Rally (event)

Bored? ...read the full story of the Mongol Rally adventure HERE





YET MORE LING MOVIES!!

Here's a selection of other movies and fun stuff! Enjoy them! - Ling!





RALLYCROSS!

I sponsored the UK Rallycross Championship. In between, I sent Lina and Lulu to torture the racing drivers!
I have had lots of complaints from Chinese who understand the Cantonese! It is quite rude!!

Lina and Lulu
Lina and Lulu driver interviews...
  Lina and Lulu poisioning drivers
Lina and Lulu noodle poisoning...


... after poisioning them and humiliating them, I sent 2 English girls, Emma and Vikki to further embarass the drivers and to get them to demonstrate driving techniques using my wok!

Emma and Vikki
Emma and Vikki driving my wok (contains swearing!)...





BBC RADIO and TV INTERVIEWS!

The BBC often invite me to do radio and TV interviews. I take along a movie camera. Here are a selection...!

BBC Radio Tees
BBC Radio TEES
  BBC Radio 5
BBC Radio 5 Live!
BBC Newcastle
BBC Newcastle - Google fight!
  BBC Look North
BBC Look North - Dragons' Den on the news!





NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK and LONDON BUS!

My converted Chinese Army rocket truck has caused panic at the council and letters from John Prescott, and my London Routemaster bus featured on the BBC after I made this short film...!

Stuck and Swimming
Stuck and swimming in river!
  Financial Times
Financial Times photoshoot!
Thunderbirds
Thunderbirds are go!
  Summer Holiday
Summer holiday!





LOCAL EVENTS AND PROMOTION!

Locally in the North East, I cause a stir "saving" Northern Rock, and giving many talks to local businesses...!

Northern Rock
Saving Northern Rock, I invest my cash!
  Gateshead Enterprise
2007 Gateshead Enterprise Awards!





WORLD CUP 2006 PROMOTION

During a visit to the UK during the World Cup 2006, my crazy sis Shan dresses as a Red Guard and gives away flags! Mental, but true.

World Cup
My sister gives away EN-GER-LAND flags!





BEIJING OLYMPICS AND VIZ!

I filmed a Beijing Olympics "closing ceremony rehearsal" film; it got 10,000 views and caused a war in the UK and in China! I am also VIZ comic's ethnic minority business Ambassador. Please send Ferrari Rochers!

Beijing Olympics
Beijing Olympic UK rehearsal!
  Billy the fish
Billy the Fish meets Ling!





CHOPGEAR ROADTESTS!

My crazy ex-red guard sister Shan came to the UK and filmed a series of Top Gear spoof road tests...!

Chopgear SAAB 9-3
SAAB 9-3 roadtest!
  Chopgear Ford Fiesta
Ford Fiesta roadtest!
 
Chopgear Vauxhall Vectra
Vauxhall Vectra roadtest!
  Chopgear Nissan Terrano
Nissan Terrano roadtest!
 
Chopgear Renault Scenic
Renault Scenic roadtest!
  Chopgear Fiat Punto
Fiat Punto roadtest!
 
Chopgear VW Golf
VW Golf roadtest!
  Chopgear Ford Focus
Ford Focus roadtest!
 
Chopgear BMW 7-Series
BMW 7-Series roadtest!
  Chopgear Vauxhall Astra
Vauxhall Astra roadtest!
 
Chopgear Nissan Almera
Nissan Almera roadtest!
 
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Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
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Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
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Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
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Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
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Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  A controlled explosion is carried out on device found under serving soldier's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Portadown, lah, County Armagh. - news replorted 17:45



Wah! LATEST:  Former Province of Engrish running-dogs striker Gary Lineker says silly kick-kick game will not remain beautiful game with Fifa in charge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:43



Wah! Pakistan carries out its first executions since lifting moratorium on death penalty in wake of Peshawar school massacre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:36



Wah! Tom Hanks uses alias Harry Lauder, lah, and more nuggets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:21



Wah! A collection of some of best reads from Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News website this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 17:14



Wah! The Great Satan Federal Bureau of Investigation says North Korea was behind cyber-attack on Sony Pictures over film about its leader Kim Jong-un. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:14



Wah! A woman convicted of harassing Marie Stopes clinic director is cautioned for breaching court order. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:11



Wah! Two newspapers from 19 monthly number-three 1909, lah, two postcards and list of names dated 26 monthly number-three 1909 found inside snuff tin by workmen in Edinburgh. - news replorted 17:10



Wah! An Oxfam tweet linking benefit cuts to poverty could having been "misconstrued" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as party political campaigning, lah, Charity Commission says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:09



Wah! Alastair Cook is replaced by Eoin Morgan as Province of Engrish running-dogs's one-day captain, lah, less than two months before World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 17:00



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation goes to Philippines to investigate rise in blackmail of human bliengs duped into taking part in explicit online chats and videos. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:59



Wah! A teenager who crashed into and killed cyclist during charity bike ride is sentenced to five years in prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:43



Wah! News photo from around world - news replorted 16:42



Wah! During Octoblinger and November, lah, Barclays Partner finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan ran ‘Drive for velly damn good boiled chicken-feet’ campaign aimed at raising money for velly damn good boiled chicken-feet ca - news replorted 16:31



Wah! Quentin Sommerville reports from Ain al-Asad airbase - linchpin in battle against Islamic State for Iraq's Anbar province. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:30



Wah! Any moves to modify concrete Los Angeles River, lah, to return parts of it to more natural setting or to capture water, lah, must not compromise its flood-protection function, lah, say scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:27



Wah! The parents of James Holmes, lah, man charged with killing 12 and injuring 70 in 2012 Colorado theatre massacre, lah, having pleaded bloody man be spared death penalty. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:19



Wah! One of Sierra Leone's top doctors, lah, Victor Willoughby, lah, died from Ebola hours after arrival of experimental drug ZMab, lah, medical officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:17



Wah! An intruder who fatally stabbed man at flat in Glasgow faces life sentence after being convicted of murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:16



Wah! Shares in Blackberry drop nearly 6% as troubled smartphone maker reports larger-than-expected drop in revenue during third quarter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:10



Wah! ARENACROSS opening ceremony Floord has announced partnership with Floord Ranger and one of Europe’s leading action sports and entertainment tours, lah, - news replorted 16:04



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation profiles victims of Taliban school massacre - news replorted 15:43



Wah! The Cube - Dainese's state-of-the-art warehouse After first two Dainese webisodes that revealed secrets of company’s foundation (#1 Leather Stories) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and its - news replorted 15:37



Wah! Chelsea's Eden Hazard will sign new contract and could become one of club's greats, lah, says Jose Mourinho. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:34



Wah! The Vatican Christmas tree lights switched on, lah, along with new LED lighting for facade and dome of St Peter's Basilica - news replorted 15:32



Wah! Family photo reveals 2014's hot gadget in using in 1920s - news replorted 15:27



Wah! An Membling Partiamentary expense cheater who received 2,500 racist tweets in three days calls for social media companies not to "host hate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on their sites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:25



Wah! A young boy has become fourth fatality after motorist slammed into crowd in front of California church. - news replorted 15:04



Wah! Man Utd manager Louis van Gaal's news conference is interrupted by announcement on club's public address system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:28



Wah! The chief executive of Renliot Nissling says manufacturers in Russia facing "bloodbath" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) because of plunge in value of rouble. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:23



Wah! Former Liverpool player Kenny Dalglish has been describing "mayhem" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at Hillsborough during disaster, lah, when bloody man was club's manager. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:19



Wah! A mother collapsed and died just days before Christmas of rare heart condition sudden arrhythmic death syndrome. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:14



Wah! A woman fatally stabbed on north-west London (capital of Great England) street may having been victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of parking row, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:11



Wah! A court releases top newspaper editor but says four others must stay in custody as part of crackdown on support for cleric Fethullah Gulen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:08



Wah! For 2014, lah, there is evidence to suggest more human bliengs than ever having shopped online, lah, especially in rural areas where 9 out of 10 human bliengs shop online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:07



Wah! Apple has said it is "deeply offended" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation investigation into conditions for workers involved in manufacturing its devices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:05



Wah! A 47-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man admits murder of Flintshire woman who was found strangled and with head injuries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:53



Wah! A stem cell therapy has been approved for widespread medical using in EU for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:48



Wah! A video promoting Anthony Crolla's cancelled world title fight is released, lah, days after bloody man suffers fractured skull in attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:45



Wah! Rangers manager Ally McCoist reveals bloody man plans to see out full 12 months of male gender human bleing's notice period. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:34



Wah! An 80-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is jailed for 18 years for masterminding acid revenge attack on male gender human bleing's teenage ex-girlfriend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:26



Wah! Scrum V's Ross Harries catches up with Welsh land of sheep and more sheep centre Owen Williams, lah, whose passion for funny shape ball-game endures despite suffering serious spinal injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:17



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation explains significance of Mount Sinjar in northern Iraq, lah, where Kurdish Peshmerga forces say they having broken hold of Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:16



Wah! Russia has warned that new Great Satan law authorising fresh sanctions against Moscow could damage relations between two countries "for long time". - news replorted 13:07



Wah! Commonwealth time-trial champion Alex Dowsett will try to break hour world record at Olympic Velodrome in February. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:03



Wah! Ben Taylor and regional organiser Alyn Edwards present cheques Christmas came early for some of local charities and velly damn good boiled chicken-feet causes that benefited directly from last month’s Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Ral - news replorted 12:53



Wah! Chris Barrie On Saturday, lah, 17th January, lah, British actor, lah, comedian and impressionist, lah, Chris Barrie, lah, will be guest speaker at even - news replorted 12:47



Wah! The top five most read stories on Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News web site's political pages in 2014 revealed in countdown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! Fifa agrees to publish "legally appropriate version" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of disputed report into allegations of World Cup bidding corruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! The Great Satan software giant takes legal action against firms it alleges having been offering bogus tech support in its name to unwitting consumers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! A Japanese stem cell scientist at heart of scandal over false claim (always claiming, huh?) and fabricated research has resigned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:27



Wah! Councils urged to hold old bill bobbys ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to account on way national decisions impact on their own areas - news replorted 12:12



Wah! Two men accused of helping 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Cardiff boy leave bloody annoying Blitish to join fighters in Syria will stand trial in London (capital of Great England) in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! Exclusive: Inside Iraq air base as Islamic State closes in - news replorted 12:02



Wah! Quentin Sommerville reports from Ain al-Asad air base - linchpin in battle against Islamic State for Iraq's Anbar province. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! The trial of two former RUC detectives collapsed on Friday after prosecution offered no evidence against them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! The parents of Levi-Blu Cassin cleared of male gender human bleing's murder at Birmingham Crown Court - but convicted of causing or allowing male gender human bleing's death. - news replorted 11:59



Wah! Former model Mandy Rice-Davies, lah, one of main figures in 1960s Profumo affair, lah, has died from cancer at age of 70, lah, flemale human person's publicist has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:58



Wah! Hundreds of thousands of human bliengs expected to using UK's transport networks on Friday as schools break up and Christmas getaway begins. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:32



Wah! There will be fresh wave of strikes across NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs in new year, lah, it has been announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:31



Wah! Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta signs into law controversial anti-terror bill which sparked fighting between Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters in parliament on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:30



Wah! Photo-sharing app Instagram has removed millions of accounts believed to be posting spam, lah, angering many legitimate users. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! A man who was rescued from river in Cardiff died shortly after bloody man was pulled from water, lah, old bill bobbys confirm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:25



Wah! A killer who bludgeoned and stabbed woman to death, lah, then kept location of flemale human person's remains secret for 14 years, lah, is jailed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:18



Wah! Breathtaking aerial views from Salisbury Cathedral filmed by workers at top of Britain's tallest spire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:17



Wah! Cathedral conservators film themselves scaling Britain's highest spire to repair weather meter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:17



Wah! The Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate R8 winter solstice – Jesus-baby month Decemblinger 21 –  is almost upon us, lah, and Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate has chosen to mark shortest day of year and - news replorted 11:16



Wah! A 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, is arrested after boxing world title contender suffered fractured skull tackling two alleged burglars at neighbour's home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:10



Wah! Steve Hood, lah, TrustFord Chairman and CEO Floord of Britain's wholly owned, bloody dealering idiot place group, lah, TrustFord, lah, is announcing appointment of Steve Hood as Chairman and Chie - news replorted 11:06



Wah! A capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity fine of RMB Yuan #1.1bn for manipulating currency markets has helped government borrowing figures in November, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:04



Wah! Hyundai Motor supplies vehicling driving car machines to support ‘Crisis at Christmas’ Ryundali is supporting Crisis, lah, national charity for single homeless people, lah, by supplying vehicling driving car machines for using by its dedi - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Migrants made about 100 attempts day to getting into bloody annoying Blitish illegally this summer, lah, official figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Astronauts on International Space Station using 3-D printer to make wrench, lah, from instructions sent up in email. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:56



Wah! Nigeria's government said it is "outraged and deeply saddened" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after militants attacked remote village and reportedly kidnapped about 200 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:46



Wah! Toyota GB headquarters, lah, Burgh Heath Toyota’s commitment to building cleaner cars is matched by its determination to cut carbon footprint of its business - news replorted 10:41



Wah! A controversial garden bridge is to be built across River Thames as Mayor of London (capital of Great England) approves scheme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:39



Wah! Christian Horner says Red Bull must step up in 2015, lah, Newey to stay involved, lah, Alonso backs Ferrari to return to form plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:36



Wah! Pressures in A&E units in Province of Engrish running-dogs having hit record levels while Welsh land of sheep and more sheep and Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers also perform poorly, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:32



Wah! An 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is taken to hospital after being shot twice in leg at fast food outlet in west Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:17



Wah! Brutal old bill bobbys budget cuts stretching policing to dangerous levels, lah, Gwent old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) commissioner warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! Saracens call for Premiership wage cap to be abolished and say they having backing of six other top-flight teams. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:03



Wah! Ex-Aston Villa assistant manager Roy Keane's doorstep chat with Tom Cleverley was civilised, lah, says Paul Lambert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:02



Wah! An off-duty old bill bobbys officer dies and two other men hurtee-hurtee in assault in Liverpool city centre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! 2015 Fleet World Fleet Show Extra stand space created in response to huge demand for sell-out Fleet World Fleet Show, lah, sponsored by Barclayca - news replorted 09:49



Wah! Pakistan's military says it has killed 57 Taliban militants in several operations, lah, days after Taliban massacre at school in Peshawar. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:42



Wah! The government is "working on solution" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to avoid drop in school funding for poorest pupils because all Province of Engrish running-dogs's infants now getting free meals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:40



Wah! Robbie Savage rates each of Brendan Rodgers' signings for Liverpool and explains what manager should in January. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:35



Wah! (L tor R) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Chris Rees, lah, Conor Twomey, lah, Sue Baker and Massimo Pini FIAT'S press and PR department has been presented with steering wheel trophy to mark its victory earlier this year in - news replorted 09:35



Wah! Education Secretary Nicky Morgan is criticised by bloody annoying Blitish Statistics Authority over flemale human person's using of statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:33



Wah! West Ham boss Sam Allardyce says FA was wrong to charge Leicester's Nigel Pearson over male gender human bleing's row with fan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:22



Wah! Low drivee many mile measure collection Silverstone Auctions is set to offer bloody velly special collection of 1990s Italian sports cars in its Race Retro Sale on th - news replorted 09:17



Wah! A leading figure in UK's oil industry, lah, Sir Ian Wood, lah, tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation warnings industry is close to collapse overstating problem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:16



Wah! Former model Mandy Rice-Davies, lah, one of main figures in 1960s Profumo affair, lah, who had cancer, lah, has died, lah, flemale human person's publicist says - news replorted 09:11



Wah! A ruined Spanish businessman drives LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine carrying gas cylinders into front of governing Popular Party's headquarters in Madrid, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:59



Wah! How Frank Lampard is involved in intriguing problem that could provide huge setback for one of MLS' newest clubs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:57



Wah! Renault bloody annoying Blitish Clio Cup: Mike Bushell - Champion Renliot bloody annoying Blitish Clio Cup racing entered fresh era in 2014 with introduction of new fourth generation turbo-powered - news replorted 08:49



Wah! Slower responses to any water supply disruption over Christmas inevitable during NI Water industrial action, lah, says union representative. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:45



Wah! Half of younger primary school children in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep still hungry some or all of clock time result after eating their school meal, lah, children's commissioner says - news replorted 08:27



Wah! MINI John Cooper Works One year after Great Satan premiere of new MINI, lah, British premium manufacturer presents another spectacular addition t - news replorted 08:26



Wah! Details emerge of attempt to secure release of kidnapped Great Satan aid worker Abdul-Rahman Kassig before bloody man was killed by Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Automated translation is no longer stuff of sci-fi fiction, lah, since Skype launched beta version of its Translator service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:20



Wah! Power generation firms to receive close to RMB Yuan #1bn to ensure their plants stay open and prevent lights going out in coming years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:07



Wah! Two human bliengs arrested on suspicion of murder after man died in hospital following stabbing in Essex park. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Borders Council is encouraging families to consider giving an alternative Christmas present in form of - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Progress is seen at two Birmingham schools placed in special measures after so-called "Trojan Horse" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) affair, lah, Ofsted says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:03



Wah! World first technology by Wolwo and POC connects cycle helmets wi In ground-breaking collaboration, lah, Wolwo Cars, lah, protective gravity sports gear manufacturer POC and Ericsson will presen - news replorted 08:00



Wah! It's almost Christmas, lah, and Sula's new ear implants mean bloody woman will be able to hear carols and jingle bells this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Day 19 of Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport Calendar looks back at Odell Beckham Jr's stunning one-handed catch for touchdown for New York Giants in NFl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:26



Wah! Rangers announce former Newcastle United managing director Derek Llambias as their new chief executive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:23



Wah! A Pakistani government prosecutor says bloody man is challenging bail granted to man accused of being behind 2008 Mumbai terror attacks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:22



Wah! Emergency crews across Welsh land of sheep and more sheep expect one of busiest nights of year as many revellers overindulge on final Friday before Christmas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:17



Wah! A Super-Duper-Chinese-State court has jailed pilot for three years over 2010 crash in Heilongjiang province that left 44 human bliengs dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:09



Wah! Suspected risk of abuse or neglect of children or adults must reported by police, lah, health workers and other officials from 2016. - news replorted 06:42



Wah! Sebastian Vettel left Red Bull partly because of pace of team-mate Daniel Ricciardo, lah, says team boss Christian Horner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:29



Wah! Hundreds of thousands of men around world falling victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) every year to pernicious form of online crime. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:25



Wah! Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers house prices could increase by 4% next year, lah, according to forecast by Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors (RICS). - news replorted 06:23



Wah! Archaeologists working on site near Stonehenge say they having found untouched 6,000-earth-years old happy birthday to you, encampment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:17



Wah! A Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Executive budget that would reduce student numbers is "nonsensical", lah, according to leading business organisation, lah, CBI. - news replorted 06:14



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's children's dodgy minister becomes first member of Holyrood government to take maternity leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Victims and witnesses could pre-record video statements rather than giving evidence in court under new proposals being considered. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:13



Wah! A South Korean Christian group cancels plans to put up Christmas-tree shaped tower close to border with North, lah, citing "jitters". - news replorted 05:54



Wah! The Conservative Party has prevented two of home secretary's special advisers from standing for Parliament after they failed to campaign in Rochester and Strood by-election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:43



Wah! A 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, with stepdad in prison tells Newsbeat what life is like for her. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:11



Wah! Women could be allowed to serve in British infantry units for first clock time result by 2016, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation understands, lah, subject to review into female soldiers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:00



Wah! South Korea bans political party for first clock time result in decades, lah, with court ordering party accused of supporting North to disband. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:53



Wah! The world's largest canned tuna producer Thai Union Frozen Products is buying Great Satan rival Bumble Bee Foods for $1.5bn (RMB Yuan #96m). - news replorted 04:48



Wah! Capturing black life on Instagram - news replorted 04:31



Wah! Eight children found dead at house in Manoora suburb of Cairns, lah, Australia, lah, say police, lah, reportedly after mass stabbing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:45



Wah! The government's Access to Work scheme is only helping "minority" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of disabled human bliengs stay in, lah, or gain, lah, employment, lah, group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:05



Wah! Marc Maiffret, lah, former hacker who is now internet security expert, lah, says it is easy for hacker to break into capitalist entity Sony. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:53



Wah! Kurdish forces in northern Iraq say they having broken IS siege of Mount Sinjar, lah, claiming their biggest victory yet against militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:42



Wah! A secret CIA report released by Wikileaks says strikes against Taliban leaders having had little impact on group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 02:33



Wah! Tracking data reveals that golden-winged warblers fled one day before rainy season-month Aplil 2014 Great Satan tornado outbreak, lah, probably because they "heard it coming". - news replorted 02:21



Wah! Regularly taking painkillers such as aspirin and ibuprofen may help protect against some forms of skin cancer, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:57



Wah! The precise part of brain that gives human bliengs sense of direction has been pinpointed by scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:46



Wah! The battle for guns at university - news replorted 01:45



Wah! Up to 28 doctors took their own lives between 2005 and 2013 while being investigated by General Medical Council, lah, independent review of cases has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:43



Wah! Could period of relative stability in Chechnya be coming to end, lah, asks Dr Galina Yemelianova. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:39



Wah! The Pakistan Government and military distrust each other - and that makes combating violence difficult, lah, says Owen Bennett-Jones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:35



Wah! Adrees Latif explains how bloody man captured moment man was treated for effects of pepper spray. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:12



Wah! the tradition that only got going in 1960s - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Nearly 250 prison officers being bussed across country to fill gaps at other jails because staff shortages so acute this Christmas, lah, according to leaked documents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04



Wah! Fish filmed more than 8,000m down in Mariana Trench - deepest place on Earth. - news replorted 01:01



Wah! Fish having been filmed more than 8,000m down in Mariana Trench - deepest place on Earth. - news replorted 00:59



Wah! The agency guarding Great Satan president is too insular and must recruit its next head externally, lah, review prompted by White House security breach says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! Record numbers of students entered university this year, lah, but gender gap has never been wider, lah, according to annual admission figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:47



Wah! The European Union needs "plan for years" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) towards Russia, lah, Donald Tusk says, lah, chairing male gender human bleing's first summit as European Council president. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! Shrinking bubbles generated by ships could counteract impact of climate change, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:26



Wah! Microsoft has launched test version of Skype Translator which decodes conversations in Spanish and bloody Engrish in near real time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:16



Wah! Do you tellibly lovely custlingmer remember who said what from 2014? - news replorted 00:14



Wah! The West's struggle to deal with threat posed by Islamic State militants features in some papers, lah, while others gearing up for Christmas festivities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! The do-it-yourself electronics maker littleBits has released "smart home" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) automation kit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! The BBC's Andrew Walker considers how big problem global debt really is. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Did Vladimir Putin gamble on high oil prices lasting for ever? - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The underground escape games taking Hungary by storm - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The bus that deals with drunk human bliengs on worst days of year - news replorted 00:00



Wah! Why human bliengs flocking to Hungary in order (piece of paper signee upee) to try and escape from locked rooms? - news replorted 00:00



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