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CAR LEASING
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Herman Von Rumpy EU cookie law. Piss off Von Rumpy. Me... I hammer visitors to death with cookies, so I can find out what they want. EU Cookie Law Cookies allow my website to serve visitors the content they need. Get used to it. The EU cookie law is an ass. - Ling
Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

UK WARNING: Customers reporting many other internet prices hiding true lease costs! Beware dodgy companies selling high initial rental "6+" leases
Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
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Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Peugeot 208 1.2 VTi (80bhp) Active Hatchback 5dr 1199cc Petrol at £226.85 inc VAT at 09:52 on 16th Apr - Ling
Car Leasing Traffic Light
Candybar
  EXTRA CHEAP!
  EXTRA CHEAP!
LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! My best car deals!
        
MOVIES!
To see more films, movies and TV adverts, visit my YouTube page!
I HAVE HALF A MILLION
YOUTUBE VIEWS!





JUMP 2012!

Ling of LINGsCARS patiently explains to a slow and reluctant audience, how to make online customers happy using subliminal mind-torture and the power of swearing. It's the EConsultancy JUMP conference, October 11th 2012. Regularly grasping victory from the jaws of poor coding, flashing gifs and defeat, Ling intends to describe how she squeezes every last cent out of her customers and how she takes complaining web visitors by the neck and rams them through her car leasing sausage machine. All while making them very happy. This presentation does not include any Thai prostitutes, or dogs playing poker. You won't understand a word of it. Chopsticks are optional.






Future of Digital Marketing!

In June 2012, I travelled to the e-Consultancy FODM conference in London and gave a basic lesson in internet marketing and customer strategy to over 200 of the highest ranking online marketing bods in the UK!
They were amazed that I can polarise visitors and emotionalise everything about me and my website. I told them how they need to improve their own marketing by taking a leaf out of my book!
I speak Chinese for the first five minutes to confuse everyone and desensitise them to my ideas, watch and learn!


e-Consultanct FODM





Me on BBC Radio Newcastle!

On 14th July 2011, I was invited by BBC Newcastle to gob off about the new series of Dragons' Den. Below, I made a video of the out-takes, and the proper transmission (being a radio programme) is audio only.

BBC Radio Newcastle
Outakes video
  BBC Radio Newcastle MP3 recording
MP3 full radio interview





Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester!

In July 2011, I gave a business briefing to 50 high-powered company directors assembled by top Manchester Accountancy firm, Saffrey Champness. I took my .30 cal Browning machine-gun because Manchester is the gun captial of the North.

In 2 parts, this video gives you a good overview of my business, and my new Chinese clothes business.


Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester Part 1
Part 1
  Saffrey Champness Director's Briefing Manchester Part 2
Part 2






AWARD CEREMONY!

Ling wins national AWARD and receives her prize at the Dorchester Hotel!


Ling at the EveryWoman Awards






My ITV ad campaign!

In 2008, I ran a series of TV adverts on ITV. I had fantastic fun making them, and they caused a storm.
One got banned! ITV objected to me calling people from Sunderland "Mackams" and people from Middlesbrough "Smogmonsters". That was outrageous political correctness, as these are clearly sweet terms of endearment.

The adverts were filmed on a budget of 10p and did the job, providing a big pre-credit-crunch boost to sales! Subsequently, the series of adverts went on to win awards...

2008 Fresh TV Awards Winner!

The "Fresh Awards 2008" recognise outstanding creativity and innovation outside the M25 in Creative, TV, Digital, Media and PR.

LINGsCARS.com "ImproPlug" is the winner of the 2008 TV Advertising Campaign category for outstanding innovation, originality and execution. The producers: Kevin Owens/Matthew Newman (Your-Film), booking agency (AdMast), star turn Ling Valentine.









My TV advert #1

TV Ad#1 "Best thing about selling cars is to make money"





My TV advert #2

TV Ad#2 "My favourite website is ...LINGsCARS.com!"





My TV advert #3

TV Ad#3 "What are you talking about? W..W..W..W..dot com!"





My TV advert #4

TV Ad#4 "Perfect Chinglish" - TV ad in Chinese!





My TV advert #5

TV Ad#5 "Mackams and Smogmonsters" - "racist" TV ad banned by ITV!





To see more films, movies and TV adverts, visit my YouTube page!
DOCUMENTARY!


POST-ADVERT DOCUMENTARY!

Matthew Newman at Your-Film Shares his experience creating the adverts for Ling!

Matthew's post advert interview
Matthew's Experience (contains swearing)

Get your own award-winning films and adverts made by Your Film Your Film



MORE LING MOVIES!!

Here's a selection of other movies and fun stuff! Enjoy them! - Ling!






BBC DRAGONS' DEN!

I turn down investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh on BBC 2 Dragons' Den.

- Note, you must download and play this movie locally, as YouTube think it is copyright BBC.


BBC 2 Dragons' Den pitch (44Mb, 11 mins)





MONGOL RALLY!

In 2006, I sent 2 brave Gateshead boyz to their near-deaths from Gateshead to Ulan Bator in a Fiat Cinquecento!

Pre Monogl Rally
Monogl Rally (pre)
  Monogl Rally Event
Mongol Rally (event)

Bored? ...read the full story of the Mongol Rally adventure HERE





YET MORE LING MOVIES!!

Here's a selection of other movies and fun stuff! Enjoy them! - Ling!





RALLYCROSS!

I sponsored the UK Rallycross Championship. In between, I sent Lina and Lulu to torture the racing drivers!
I have had lots of complaints from Chinese who understand the Cantonese! It is quite rude!!

Lina and Lulu
Lina and Lulu driver interviews...
  Lina and Lulu poisioning drivers
Lina and Lulu noodle poisoning...


... after poisioning them and humiliating them, I sent 2 English girls, Emma and Vikki to further embarass the drivers and to get them to demonstrate driving techniques using my wok!

Emma and Vikki
Emma and Vikki driving my wok (contains swearing!)...





BBC RADIO and TV INTERVIEWS!

The BBC often invite me to do radio and TV interviews. I take along a movie camera. Here are a selection...!

BBC Radio Tees
BBC Radio TEES
  BBC Radio 5
BBC Radio 5 Live!
BBC Newcastle
BBC Newcastle - Google fight!
  BBC Look North
BBC Look North - Dragons' Den on the news!





NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK and LONDON BUS!

My converted Chinese Army rocket truck has caused panic at the council and letters from John Prescott, and my London Routemaster bus featured on the BBC after I made this short film...!

Stuck and Swimming
Stuck and swimming in river!
  Financial Times
Financial Times photoshoot!
Thunderbirds
Thunderbirds are go!
  Summer Holiday
Summer holiday!





LOCAL EVENTS AND PROMOTION!

Locally in the North East, I cause a stir "saving" Northern Rock, and giving many talks to local businesses...!

Northern Rock
Saving Northern Rock, I invest my cash!
  Gateshead Enterprise
2007 Gateshead Enterprise Awards!





WORLD CUP 2006 PROMOTION

During a visit to the UK during the World Cup 2006, my crazy sis Shan dresses as a Red Guard and gives away flags! Mental, but true.

World Cup
My sister gives away EN-GER-LAND flags!





BEIJING OLYMPICS AND VIZ!

I filmed a Beijing Olympics "closing ceremony rehearsal" film; it got 10,000 views and caused a war in the UK and in China! I am also VIZ comic's ethnic minority business Ambassador. Please send Ferrari Rochers!

Beijing Olympics
Beijing Olympic UK rehearsal!
  Billy the fish
Billy the Fish meets Ling!





CHOPGEAR ROADTESTS!

My crazy ex-red guard sister Shan came to the UK and filmed a series of Top Gear spoof road tests...!

Chopgear SAAB 9-3
SAAB 9-3 roadtest!
  Chopgear Ford Fiesta
Ford Fiesta roadtest!
 
Chopgear Vauxhall Vectra
Vauxhall Vectra roadtest!
  Chopgear Nissan Terrano
Nissan Terrano roadtest!
 
Chopgear Renault Scenic
Renault Scenic roadtest!
  Chopgear Fiat Punto
Fiat Punto roadtest!
 
Chopgear VW Golf
VW Golf roadtest!
  Chopgear Ford Focus
Ford Focus roadtest!
 
Chopgear BMW 7-Series
BMW 7-Series roadtest!
  Chopgear Vauxhall Astra
Vauxhall Astra roadtest!
 
Chopgear Nissan Almera
Nissan Almera roadtest!
 
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Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
 
90 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
...LING REPLIES IN:
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192 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
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  HRS : MINUTES sec  
Lingscars.com Limited (GB)
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling
WOW! UK's best service times!
No Waiting
lingscars.com
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
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...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
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