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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1375 / 1528
David says...
HONDA CIVICLing is customer service exemplified. Nothing is too much trouble and she delivers. All of the most competitive prices, with stress relieving sense of humour too. Three "Yes's" from me. Excellent delivery, all worked well.

David Poole
Address Withheld
TN18 ***

Editor Note: Great. I like 3 yes's, hahaha. You have a fantastic new Civic and we had a good laugh while you were waiting for your new car, David. Thanks for wonderful comments in your letter! As you are Managing Director of massive international bank in the UK, I withhold your address because there are some assholes who confuse YOU with what has happened in the banking sector. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1329 / 1528
Keith says...
CITROEN C5A very good experience dealing with Lingscars and she sends a great free lunch (who said there was no such thing?). Loved the other freebies too. Received my new Citroen C5 on the day I had requested, unfortunately Ling didn't know about it as the suppliers didn't tell them, so I didn't know until the day, however not Ling's fault!

Keith Kelsey
The Flat, Ocklye House
Glenmore Road

Editor Note: The car was dropped on your toes, I agree. They "forgot" to inform me, or you! Sheesh! Only a £20k thing... Anyway, at least it arrived promptly on the day you wanted it :) Glad you loved to deal with me. Hope you did not eat the free lunch, it is a collectors item only as the FUKU brand noodles are slightly poisonous, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1231 / 1528
Richard says...
 Ling makes leasing a car simple, efficient and competitive - nothing is too much trouble. This V50 Volvo is our second car from her and it won't be the last! Good delivery, no issues.

Richard Barry
Airisq Limited
36 Hillydeal Road
TN14 5RU

Editor Note: Richard, super duper. As a repeat customer, I'm so happy that you are pleased. Those Volvo Sportwagons are brilliant cars, everyone loves them. Enjoy it. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1183 / 1528
Nicholas says...
HONDA CIVICLing did great getting me my new Honda Civic - nickname "The Bullet". My wife's car is nicknamed "The Bucket".

Even though I cancelled the first order as the stupid car had no Air/Con Ling was very patient and did not make me sit on the naughty step. Well done Ling! Delivery was very good, by nice blokes. Excellent!

Nicholas Melling
Address Withheld
Address Withheld
Address Withheld
TN3 ****

Editor Note: First car was a Type-R Civic, but you wanted aircon, so we got you a diesel Civic which is nearly as fast. The bullet, hahaha! It is black, so you should call it the Black Bullet! Your poor wife :). Thanks for funny letter, you are a Company Director, but also a funny guy, thanks for making me laugh! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1153 / 1528
Steve says...
PEUGEOT 207 CCWe would like to thank you all very much for all your help and the smooth delivery of our new Peugeot 207 CC. We love it! From start to finish, you and your team maintained professionalism and support to ensure a pleasant experience with Lings cars. The Lingo system is fantastic! Wishing you all the success for the future.

Steve Crowley
72 Running Foxes Lane
TN23 5LR

Editor Note: Steve and Leah, wow, you sent me a lovely card! You are sooooo kind! Now, you just need to wait for summer so you cen get the top down and enjoy the CC in the sunshine. In the meantime, have a great time in the snow :). Thanks again! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1130 / 1528
Tracey says...
 Ling, you are the craziest, most fun person that I have done business with. I looked hard for a good deal and you had the best deals that I could find. It was a pleasure doing business with you. Very easy and straight forward and you made everything very clear on my new Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch. Thanks. 250 miles on the clock when the car arrived, otherwise good.

Tracey Williamson
4 Danvers Road

Editor Note: Tracey, that 250 miles will be adjusted from the contract, that is purely the distance of the delivery. I used the cheapest (and hopefully best) suppliers, not necessarily the nearest ones. Glad you find me nice to deal with, we certainly had some fun! It is great to hear that you found everything easy and straight forward. Thanks! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1094 / 1528
David says...
 Hi Ling. Thanks for my wonderful red car. It's beautiful. We are loving it. I enjoyed the banter between us on the lingo system (you are one crazy woman with a wicked sense of humour). You were there every step of the way for us and emailed me even if there was no news on the car, which made me feel I was your only customer. I know you were very busy with other clients. It was a pleasure doing business with you and looking forward to getting my next car from you. The Astra was more than a month late!

David Smith
31 Silvan Road
St Leonards On Sea
TN38 9RD

Editor Note: Yes... more than a month late. Vauxhall just can't get their act together. I order cars, they tell me a build date, then put it back. No wonder GM struggle. Glad you enjoyed the LINGO system, you were very chatty and I appreciate the comments. Thanks :) Glad you like your Astra Sport Hatch. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1084 / 1528
Pete says...
 Once again a smooth, untroubled transaction. The Volvo V50 Sportswagon arrived as promised. Thanks Ling. Excellent delivery.

Pete Gould PLC
Hole Farm
Lye Green, Crowborough
East Sussex

Editor Note: Wow, another car for you, Pete. You have also had a Vauxhall Astra Sporthatch. Super customer. You do security systems if anyone is interested. I give you hyperlink! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1031 / 1528
Peter says...
CarLing you put all the other contract hire companies to shame, with your simple approach of what you see you get, the process from start to finish was efficient and effective with a bit of fun. The end result was a car delivered as per order on the specified date, oh and a happy wife!! What more could I ask for. By the way Ling your barking!! Looking forward to ordering the next one. All the best Pete.

Peter Gould
Hole Farm
Lye Green

Editor Note: Woof, woof! Barking is great, AS LONG AS the service is great too. Seems you were very happy. I am really pleased when large international PLCs like my service. Hope your wife has a brilliant time with her top down :). Onwatch Plc is a CCTV surveillance company based in East Sussex. You design, install, monitor and maintain integrated management systems for the management and security of customer sites and property throughout the United Kingdom. - Ling

Customer Letter: 960 / 1528
Jim says...
CarHi Ling,

Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say thanks very much for the fantastic deal you got me on our new Freelander. Service was second to none, with the car turning up very quickly, thanks to you grabbing us a cancelled order - once again, thanks very much. Excellent delivery, on time, clean and friendly - Great!

Jim Massey
2 Dunorlan Farm Cottage
Halls Hole Road
Tunbridge Wells

Editor Note: Jim, sometimes I can grab these cancelled orders from dealers, but they aren't always available. You were flexible on colour, which helped a lot. Hope you enjoy the Freelander and that Gordon Brown doesn't increase the taxes too much on 4x4's so you can have a great time in it. - Ling

Customer Letter: 929 / 1528
Tim says...
CarLing is fantastic. I recommend her to anyone wanting excellent, clear and speedy service. As well as providing a first-class service and excellent communication, her way of doing business is idisyncratic and very entertaining - from her envelopes to her website and everything inbetween. Excellent delivery of my new Golf, no problems at all.

Tim Jones
20 Manor Grove
TN10 3DS

Editor Note: Aieeeeee! Another lovely letter from a very nice man. Thanks, Tim. Glad you like my service, those envelopes do a good job - the local sorting office never loses my post, they know exactly which letters are coming back in for me. Also, they brighten up everyone's day!

Ling Envelope
- Ling

Customer Letter: 838 / 1528
Nicholas says...
CarLing provided lots of communication whilst I waited for my new Renault Megane Coupe Cabriolet. Her paperwork is simple, like me. The car has 4 wheels, a steering wheel and a nice pod in the door which holds my after shave balm - neat! As good as a cold drink on a hot day.

ps. Do not apply after-shave balm whilst driving!

Nicholas Melling
Cherry Garden Hill

Editor Note: Hahahaha, you are a bloody funny onion, Nicholas! Your aftershave smell will waft away in the wind when you have the roof down. Great car, cheap price. You need sunscreen, not aftershave balm. - Ling

Customer Letter: 827 / 1528
Neill says...
CarThank you Ling for your excellent service. Excellent communication and attention to detail throughout. I recommend you to anyone! Good delivery of my new Chevrolet Captiva.

Neill Cox
Tenterden Pine
53a The High Street
TN30 6RD

Editor Note: OK Neill, in turn, I give you damn hyperlink. Tenterden Pine offers a bespoke made to measure service for individual pieces of furniture. You have built your local reputation on the foundation of timely, courteous service and quality furniture at sensible prices. I know this because I read your website. You are also very nice chappy. Enjoy the Captiva, what a deal you got on that great new car! - Ling

Customer Letter: 790 / 1528
David says...
CarOur experience during the lease of a new Nissan Qashqai was very straight forward with no complications whatsoever. Ling is an extremely professional and efficient individual who always promptly responded to our email enquiries/requests within minutes of them being sent.

I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her to business colleagues and acquaintances, as her service has been second to none... something which cannot be said of larger organisations in the same sector.

David Brown
David Brown Wood Floors Ltd
Unit 5 Warrin Court
Knockholt Road
Tunbridge Wells

Editor Note: Dave, yes, well... not everyone is great in the car business - everyone knows that. I do my best to BE the best. As you are the owner of a large business of your own, I feel proud that you say such nice things. Speak soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 785 / 1528
Andrea says...
CarAs said in my email; brilliant website, excellent dialogue, inventive service and fantastic car. Excellent delivery. Glad your website explained that financial info could take some time. Thanks again.

Andrea Hefford
1 Rye View
Harbour Road
TN31 7TQ

Editor Note: Yes, these Toyota Corolla Versos are really lovely cars :) Thanks for letter, i always appreciate feedback from business owners. Glad you are so happy, Andrea :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 740 / 1528
Andrea says...
CarDear Ling,

Brilliant website, excellent dialogue, inventive service and FANTASTIC CAR!!!!!!! Thanks!

Andrea Hefford
Snappytitle Interior Design
The Studio1
Rye View
Harbour Road
TN31 7TQ

Editor Note: Hey, Andrea, great car (Toyota Verso) and brilliant company (SnappyTitle). Thanks for the lovely letter, I am so pleased you are happy with my service. Lokk forward to more in the future. I give you a hyperlink! - Ling

Customer Letter: 683 / 1528
Stephen says...
CarI thought all the customer comments on LINGsCARS website about how good Ling was, were just gimmicks. How wrong I was. Excellent delivery service, bang on time. She's mad, you know!

Stephen Walters
8 Walshes Cottages
Fermor Road

Editor Note: Stephen, hehehe, mad indeed! The rest of the motor industry think I am mad for posting all these comments, good and bad. You notice no one else ever takes the trouble to do this. I try to treat customers like adults, even if some are like little kids, hahaha. Hope you have a great time in your Mazda 5! - Ling

Customer Letter: 597 / 1528
Terry says...
CarReally happy with the Renault Megane CC - the rep nearly wet his pants when I told him what his new car would be! Great service from you, Ling, nice easy communications. Shame Renault Finance took so long to process after approval. We got there in the end, however. I'll be back for more, soon.

Terry Hastings
Priory Print and Stationery Ltd
Priory House
125 St Johns Hill
TN13 3PE

Editor Note: Renault Finance seems to be merging with Nissan Finance, all the docs are changing and service has gone downhill fast. Another customer (who has not had any money taken for 2-months from his direct debit) wrote: "These numbers were given to me by someone at RCI who I spoke to after calling a 'dealer line' that the Renault dealer gave me the number for. However no-one answered the phone - I was on hold for at least 15 min before giving up. I have wasted the whole day on the phone to incompetent banks and car companies. Maybe I should be grateful.... If everyone were as brilliant as you and me then I guess it would be harder to succeed! So here's to other people's mediocrity!". So it seems Renault Finance's service has totally gone to the dogs. Bad news, but it makes it easier for me to take a chunk of their dealers' business. Hope your rep enjoys that Coupe-Cabriolet, Terry. More fun than a Focus :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 557 / 1528
Robert says...
CarFantastic price - no local SAAB dealer could get close - no other leasing company could match it. Excellent delivery, great job! Ling works damed hard and deserves all her success.

Robert Ayley
MD, Professional Solutions Group Limited
9 North Street
TN27 8AG

Editor Note: Robert, as you are an Managing Director I value your opinion very much, thanks. The reason no one can match the prices is a) low overheads, b) efficiency, c) I am not greedy. I prefer returning, happy customers more than a big profit from a one-off sting. I make my profit through recommendations and volume, not sky-high prices. Note a SAAB dealer needs to make £5,000 in profit PER DAY, just to open its doors. - Ling

Customer Letter: 536 / 1528
Kevin says...
VAUXHALL ZAFIRA"Great service offered from an extraordinary woman. Will definitely use Ling again when the current car is due for return. Excellent delivery, great service, no problems."

Kevin Cranham
45A Balls Green

Editor Note: Wow, what an endorsement. Yet another Zafira customer enjoying the cheapest priced new Zafiras in the world. Kevin, thanks for being so lovely to talk to, it makes me so happy to have professionals like you giving me praise :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 530 / 1528
Alison says...

I have used PCH for several years. I would recommend you to anyone. You delivered the right model and colour on the day I requested, all done by a very pleasant man. Excellent. You answered all my emails promptly. There were no hidden charges. I am pleased with my choice of family car and only hope the collection company provide the same high standard of service in a couple of years. Thank you very much - even for the free number plate for my trailer!"

Alison Knapp
14 The Spinney

Editor Note: Alison, I must say I am surprised that as a centre manager for Dyslexia Action, I have not had to correct your hand-written letter at all. Well done :) On serious note, the Zafiras have been so popular lately - and so cheap! I have delivered dozens!!! Very good cars, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 469 / 1528
David says...
Your only challenge will be retaining all the above ingredients for success as you grow, which you surely will (whilst eating dragons for breakfast)!?!

David Poole
Sponden Old Hall
Sponden Lane
TN18 5NP

Editor Note: Well, thanks for all the bullet points, I will try to live up to them, David. I am aiming for a web 2.0 interface and I am currently building this which will enable me to double productivity. It's tough to increase business and retain control, but I am managing - just! - Ling

Customer Letter: 398 / 1528
Andrew says...
 "Ling, I'm very pleased with the Megane CC you supplied, apart from a slight leak when it rains, but that's not your fault (No, the bloody French should learn to build cars properly! - Ling). Delivery was fine, apart from being one day late; but again not your fault (As I mentioned with another customer letter, I could not specify my very best Renault dealer with these Megane CCs - Ling). The car was perfect, apart from one missing dustcap.

You provide a very professional service to the public with that very special personal touch, unlike all the other leasing companies out there, which puts you head and shoulders above the rest. Many thanks, see you in two years."

Andrew Sage
2 Forge Cottage
Wretham Heath
TN15 7SJ

Editor Note: These bloody Megane CCs caused me a few problems, Andrew, but they were cheap. I could not specify my normal (good) dealer but I did tell my customers this. Delivery was a bit haphazard, but then you pay money and take choice. For me, a Megane CC at just £179.99 per month is a very cheap car. Just wait for summer, all these tiny things will be forgotten! - Ling

Customer Letter: 376 / 1528
Andrew says...
 "Hi Ling, Megane CC arrived yesterday morning first thing, at my workplace. Just a line to say how pleased I am with it and a BIG THANKYOU to you for arranging it all.

p.s. It hasnt stopped raining yet so the roof has stayed firmly in place."

Andrew Sage
2 Forge Cottage
Wretham Heath
TN15 7SJ

Editor Note: After a false start when the bloody Renault dealer (not my usual supplier) delivered the car one day late - idiots - I'm pleased you are happy with your car. Pray for sun, Andrew, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 349 / 1528
Miles says...
 "Hi Ling,

I have been meaning to contact you ever since driving up to Newcastle for my daughter's graduation the other day. I was appalled to notice (but only just) that you have been forced to remove your mobile intercontinental ballistic rocket launcher to a position that only your devoted customers with eagle eyes could notice from the road. I can only presume that the petty capitalist bureaucrats think that they have beaten you again; but I have every confidence that you will outwit them with another cunning plan very soon!

Enough of the chit-chat.

My Nissan Almera will be due for replacement in January next year so I shall be back in touch then, if not before. With very best wishes that you will continue to confound your enemies."

Miles Robinson
Miles Robinson & Co, Chartered Accountants
TN19 7JP

Editor Note: Miles, next time you drive up, you can see my bus (look at my blog). Glad you have eagle eyes to see my rocket. I got nuclear blasted by planners. Details if you look at news items. Plenty of items about truck listed on the index. Enough of chit-chat, you just take one Nissan Almera and expect chit-chat? Since when did accountant ever give chit-chat for free??? - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  More than RMB Yuan #30,000 was paid out of public purse towards cost of policing world title fight in Belfast earlier this year, lah, old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:14

Wah! LATEST:  A large fire engulfed factory in western Sydney, lah, Australia, lah, forcing some residents to move from area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:04

Wah! Comedian and writer Mark Thomas is among six journalists taking legal action because they believe Metropolitan old bill bobbys is monitoring them and keeping inflomination on database that deals with extremists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Lewis Hamilton is fastest ahead of Merceding-Blend team-mate Nico Rosberg in first practice at season-ending Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. - news replorted 10:59

Wah! Israel says it has arrested four Palestinian Hamas members who were planning to kill FM Avigdor Lieberman during recent Gaza conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Engineering needs to emphasise its creative side to encourage more young human bliengs to take it up as career, lah, says leading member of profession. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:44

Wah! A councillor named as "risk" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to children rejects claim, lah, saying bloody man is victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of bullying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:41

Wah! Labour's Douglas Alexander says Rochester and Strood by-election result has sent "strong messages" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to all parties and highlighted sense of "alienation". - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Thailand's military leaders say they having no plans to remove martial law soon, lah, amid mounting protests and criticism of junta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:35

Wah! American airline Delta replaces its old Boeing planes in $14bn order (piece of paper signee upee) for 50 Airbus wide-body jets powered by Rolls Royce engines - news replorted 10:03

Wah! A fire in part of Dounreay's Prototype Fast Reactor (PFR) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! facility last month led to "unauthorised release" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of radioactivity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Government borrowing fell to RMB Yuan #7.7bn in October, lah, official figures show, lah, down RMB Yuan #0.2bn from year earlier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:00

Wah! A floral painting by late Great Satan artist Georgia O'Keefe sells for $44.4m (RMB Yuan #28.8m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction, lah, setting record for artwork by female artist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! An assault rifle is recovered and four men arrested during old bill bobbys operation close to Belfast city centre on Thursday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! 87% of human bliengs would consider buying alternatively-fuelled car, lah, even though 77% don’t think they having enough informati - news replorted 09:36

Wah! American artist Nickolay Lamm has used crowd-funding to create rival to Barbie doll, lah, Lammily, lah, with slogan "average is beautiful". - news replorted 09:35

Wah! Ruby Holt, lah, who has spent 100 years living on farm in Tennessee, lah, has dipped flemale human person's toes in ocean for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:30

Wah! Ex-News of World editor Andy Coulson is released from prison after serving less than five months of male gender human bleing's 18-month sentence for conspiracy to hack phones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! The 68-earth-years old happy birthday to you, singer cancels remainder of flemale human person's Dressed to Kill tour after doctors advised bloody woman needs more clock time result to recover from ongoing viral infection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:06

Wah! Martyn Mann, lah, Technical Director, lah, Millers Oils Jagluar Land Rover is latest premium vehicling driving car machine manufacturer (VM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! to approve Millers Oils’ XF Longlife engine oil for Great Satan - news replorted 09:04

Wah! Players' union chief Gordon Taylor says Premier League clubs should field at least three bloody Engrish players in their starting XIs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:47

Wah! A hospital is to give so-called "bed blockers" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) seven days to leave or face possible legal action, lah, saying that too many families refusing to take elderly relatives home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:08

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Steph Houghton says playing at Wembley against Germany can change lives of flemale human person's team-mates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:57

Wah! George Jackson Relative motor racing newcomer George Jackson has today, lah, Friday, lah, 21st November, lah, been confirmed as first 2015 driver - news replorted 07:57

Wah! “The Milli Story” at BMWah-wah! Museum From 27 Novemblinger 2014, lah, Milli – BMWah-wah! Group’s cult urban brand – will be focus of attention in temporary exhibitio - news replorted 07:54

Wah! With less than two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) to go before George Osborne stands at despatch box and presents final Autumn Statement - news replorted 07:43

Wah! The parents of jailed Australian Al-Jazeera journalist Peter Greste make direct appeal to Egypt's President Sisi for male gender human bleing's release. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:39

Wah! An inquest into death of Cerys Yemm who was murdered in act of cannibalism will be opened and adjourned on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:32

Wah! Kiran Devgun Kiran Devgun from Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! shares flemale human person's advice with motorists travelling in fog. No spitting in damn website!!! With out - news replorted 07:32

Wah! Manchester United to sign Jan Vertonghen and Kevin Strootman, lah, Chelsea give players clock time result off, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:20

Wah! There has been major jump in spending by firms in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to create hi-tech products of future, lah, as innovators and businesses hold investment summit in Newport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:16

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport's Robbie Savage on how making it as Premier League footballer takes more than talent alone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:08

Wah! A leading charity is warning that refuge centres having to turn third of human bliengs away because of lack of space. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:02

Wah! A memorial service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is to be held at Birmingham Cathedral for victims of IRA pub bombings in city, lah, marking 40th anniversary of attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:55

Wah! A 29-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man has been shot in leg in paramilitary-style attack in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:51

Wah! After Mark Reckless wins Rochester and Strood by-election, lah, how significant force is UKIP in British politics? - news replorted 06:50

Wah! A deal is struck to electrify railway lines in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys after row between bloody annoying Blitish and Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs governments over who should pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:47

Wah! One year on from Ukrainian protests which toppled Viktor Yanukovych, lah, John Simpson visits Moscow's Red Square to consider how serious divide between Moscow and West has become. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:11

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party has its second elected Membling Partiamentary expense cheater at Westminster after Mark Reckless wins Rochester and Strood by-election by 2,920 votes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:04

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party's Mark Reckless has won Rochester and Strood by-election, lah, giving party second seat at Westminster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:49

Wah! Japan's PM Shinzo Abe dissolves parliament, lah, paving way for snap election in December, lah, as local media polls show low level of support. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:32

Wah! A Malaysian diplomat accused of attempted rape and burglary in New Zealand pleads not guilty to male gender human bleing's charges in Wellington. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:09

Wah! Three pieces of evidence revealed by old bill bobbys investigating 1994 murder of taxi driver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:00

Wah! A Dutch teenager whose mother helped bring flemale human person's back from conflict in Syria is due to appear in court on suspicion of threatening state security. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:14

Wah! MPs will debate to debate bill which its supporters say will roll back what they see as creeping privatisation of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs - news replorted 02:15

Wah! A conservation charity suggests increase in sightings of Loch Ness Monster was due to debris from woodland on shores of loch. - news replorted 02:07

Wah! Nicaragua says construction of its $50bn inter-oceanic canal will begin next month after feasibility studies approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:04

Wah! Myanmar, lah, formerly known as Burma, lah, is attracting increasing amounts of Bloody foreign investment but is hoping to win more with message of cheap and plentiful labour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:59

Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's new First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon is expected to announce ministerial re-shuffle later with strong female presence expected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:47

Wah! One of Charles Rennie Mackintosh's earliest works is recreated on walls of Glasgow Art Club as part of RMB Yuan #1.2m refurbishment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:46

Wah! A project supporting victims of honour abuse in Edinburgh is been awarded almost RMB Yuan #800,000 from Big Lottery Fund. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:42

Wah! Reuters photographer tells story behind male gender human bleing's picture of cull at farm in Nafferton following discovery of bird flu. - news replorted 01:38

Wah! Grammar school pupils in 1980s were no more likely to gain degrees from "elite" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) universities than comprehensive pupils, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34

Wah! Libya has yet to recover from disease of Gaddafi, lah, says James Robbins, lah, and it is difficult to be optimistic about future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:15

Wah! The chief executive of renowned auction house Sotheby's, lah, William Ruprecht, lah, is stepping down after 14 years at helm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:14

Wah! Reports highly critical of "safeguarding" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at seven east London (capital of Great England) schools, lah, including six Muslim schools, lah, set to be published by Ofsted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:11

Wah! HM Revenue and Customs has not properly investigated why tax relief scheme has cost RMB Yuan #2bn more than expected, lah, according to National Audit Office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:06

Wah! A group of bystanders lift LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine out of way after driver leaves it parked on city centre tramline. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Making sense of Ukraine's year of chaotic events - news replorted 00:29

Wah! Mohamed Bin Hammam's role in Qatar's successful World Cup bid is questioned by Fifa whistleblower Phaedra Al-Majid. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:27

Wah! Protesters and old bill bobbys in Ferguson all part of tense waiting game, lah, wondering if old bill bobbys officer will be indicted for death of Michael Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! look at events that lead to these circumstances - news replorted 00:24

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click looks at some of week's technology highlights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23

Wah! Part of Grosvenor road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Belfast is closed in major security operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21

Wah! Young women with breast cancer not being told about possibility of freezing eggs or embryos ahead of potentially damaging chemotherapy treatment, lah, says charity Breast Cancer Care. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:18

Wah! Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's executive action on immigration riles up Republicans and immigration activists for different reasons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:16

Wah! A drug that prevents elderly human bliengs losing their sight should be routinely available on NHS, lah, says Royal College of Ophthalmologists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13

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