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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1375 / 1528
David says...
HONDA CIVICLing is customer service exemplified. Nothing is too much trouble and she delivers. All of the most competitive prices, with stress relieving sense of humour too. Three "Yes's" from me. Excellent delivery, all worked well.

David Poole
Address Withheld
TN18 ***

Editor Note: Great. I like 3 yes's, hahaha. You have a fantastic new Civic and we had a good laugh while you were waiting for your new car, David. Thanks for wonderful comments in your letter! As you are Managing Director of massive international bank in the UK, I withhold your address because there are some assholes who confuse YOU with what has happened in the banking sector. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1329 / 1528
Keith says...
CITROEN C5A very good experience dealing with Lingscars and she sends a great free lunch (who said there was no such thing?). Loved the other freebies too. Received my new Citroen C5 on the day I had requested, unfortunately Ling didn't know about it as the suppliers didn't tell them, so I didn't know until the day, however not Ling's fault!

Keith Kelsey
The Flat, Ocklye House
Glenmore Road

Editor Note: The car was dropped on your toes, I agree. They "forgot" to inform me, or you! Sheesh! Only a £20k thing... Anyway, at least it arrived promptly on the day you wanted it :) Glad you loved to deal with me. Hope you did not eat the free lunch, it is a collectors item only as the FUKU brand noodles are slightly poisonous, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1231 / 1528
Richard says...
 Ling makes leasing a car simple, efficient and competitive - nothing is too much trouble. This V50 Volvo is our second car from her and it won't be the last! Good delivery, no issues.

Richard Barry
Airisq Limited
36 Hillydeal Road
TN14 5RU

Editor Note: Richard, super duper. As a repeat customer, I'm so happy that you are pleased. Those Volvo Sportwagons are brilliant cars, everyone loves them. Enjoy it. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1183 / 1528
Nicholas says...
HONDA CIVICLing did great getting me my new Honda Civic - nickname "The Bullet". My wife's car is nicknamed "The Bucket".

Even though I cancelled the first order as the stupid car had no Air/Con Ling was very patient and did not make me sit on the naughty step. Well done Ling! Delivery was very good, by nice blokes. Excellent!

Nicholas Melling
Address Withheld
Address Withheld
Address Withheld
TN3 ****

Editor Note: First car was a Type-R Civic, but you wanted aircon, so we got you a diesel Civic which is nearly as fast. The bullet, hahaha! It is black, so you should call it the Black Bullet! Your poor wife :). Thanks for funny letter, you are a Company Director, but also a funny guy, thanks for making me laugh! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1153 / 1528
Steve says...
 We would like to thank you all very much for all your help and the smooth delivery of our new Peugeot 207 CC. We love it! From start to finish, you and your team maintained professionalism and support to ensure a pleasant experience with Lings cars. The Lingo system is fantastic! Wishing you all the success for the future.

Steve Crowley
72 Running Foxes Lane
TN23 5LR

Editor Note: Steve and Leah, wow, you sent me a lovely card! You are sooooo kind! Now, you just need to wait for summer so you cen get the top down and enjoy the CC in the sunshine. In the meantime, have a great time in the snow :). Thanks again! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1130 / 1528
Tracey says...
 Ling, you are the craziest, most fun person that I have done business with. I looked hard for a good deal and you had the best deals that I could find. It was a pleasure doing business with you. Very easy and straight forward and you made everything very clear on my new Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch. Thanks. 250 miles on the clock when the car arrived, otherwise good.

Tracey Williamson
4 Danvers Road

Editor Note: Tracey, that 250 miles will be adjusted from the contract, that is purely the distance of the delivery. I used the cheapest (and hopefully best) suppliers, not necessarily the nearest ones. Glad you find me nice to deal with, we certainly had some fun! It is great to hear that you found everything easy and straight forward. Thanks! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1094 / 1528
David says...
 Hi Ling. Thanks for my wonderful red car. It's beautiful. We are loving it. I enjoyed the banter between us on the lingo system (you are one crazy woman with a wicked sense of humour). You were there every step of the way for us and emailed me even if there was no news on the car, which made me feel I was your only customer. I know you were very busy with other clients. It was a pleasure doing business with you and looking forward to getting my next car from you. The Astra was more than a month late!

David Smith
31 Silvan Road
St Leonards On Sea
TN38 9RD

Editor Note: Yes... more than a month late. Vauxhall just can't get their act together. I order cars, they tell me a build date, then put it back. No wonder GM struggle. Glad you enjoyed the LINGO system, you were very chatty and I appreciate the comments. Thanks :) Glad you like your Astra Sport Hatch. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1084 / 1528
Pete says...
 Once again a smooth, untroubled transaction. The Volvo V50 Sportswagon arrived as promised. Thanks Ling. Excellent delivery.

Pete Gould PLC
Hole Farm
Lye Green, Crowborough
East Sussex

Editor Note: Wow, another car for you, Pete. You have also had a Vauxhall Astra Sporthatch. Super customer. You do security systems if anyone is interested. I give you hyperlink! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1031 / 1528
Peter says...
CarLing you put all the other contract hire companies to shame, with your simple approach of what you see you get, the process from start to finish was efficient and effective with a bit of fun. The end result was a car delivered as per order on the specified date, oh and a happy wife!! What more could I ask for. By the way Ling your barking!! Looking forward to ordering the next one. All the best Pete.

Peter Gould
Hole Farm
Lye Green

Editor Note: Woof, woof! Barking is great, AS LONG AS the service is great too. Seems you were very happy. I am really pleased when large international PLCs like my service. Hope your wife has a brilliant time with her top down :). Onwatch Plc is a CCTV surveillance company based in East Sussex. You design, install, monitor and maintain integrated management systems for the management and security of customer sites and property throughout the United Kingdom. - Ling

Customer Letter: 960 / 1528
Jim says...
CarHi Ling,

Just wanted to drop you a quick note to say thanks very much for the fantastic deal you got me on our new Freelander. Service was second to none, with the car turning up very quickly, thanks to you grabbing us a cancelled order - once again, thanks very much. Excellent delivery, on time, clean and friendly - Great!

Jim Massey
2 Dunorlan Farm Cottage
Halls Hole Road
Tunbridge Wells

Editor Note: Jim, sometimes I can grab these cancelled orders from dealers, but they aren't always available. You were flexible on colour, which helped a lot. Hope you enjoy the Freelander and that Gordon Brown doesn't increase the taxes too much on 4x4's so you can have a great time in it. - Ling

Customer Letter: 929 / 1528
Tim says...
CarLing is fantastic. I recommend her to anyone wanting excellent, clear and speedy service. As well as providing a first-class service and excellent communication, her way of doing business is idisyncratic and very entertaining - from her envelopes to her website and everything inbetween. Excellent delivery of my new Golf, no problems at all.

Tim Jones
20 Manor Grove
TN10 3DS

Editor Note: Aieeeeee! Another lovely letter from a very nice man. Thanks, Tim. Glad you like my service, those envelopes do a good job - the local sorting office never loses my post, they know exactly which letters are coming back in for me. Also, they brighten up everyone's day!

Ling Envelope
- Ling

Customer Letter: 838 / 1528
Nicholas says...
CarLing provided lots of communication whilst I waited for my new Renault Megane Coupe Cabriolet. Her paperwork is simple, like me. The car has 4 wheels, a steering wheel and a nice pod in the door which holds my after shave balm - neat! As good as a cold drink on a hot day.

ps. Do not apply after-shave balm whilst driving!

Nicholas Melling
Cherry Garden Hill

Editor Note: Hahahaha, you are a bloody funny onion, Nicholas! Your aftershave smell will waft away in the wind when you have the roof down. Great car, cheap price. You need sunscreen, not aftershave balm. - Ling

Customer Letter: 827 / 1528
Neill says...
CarThank you Ling for your excellent service. Excellent communication and attention to detail throughout. I recommend you to anyone! Good delivery of my new Chevrolet Captiva.

Neill Cox
Tenterden Pine
53a The High Street
TN30 6RD

Editor Note: OK Neill, in turn, I give you damn hyperlink. Tenterden Pine offers a bespoke made to measure service for individual pieces of furniture. You have built your local reputation on the foundation of timely, courteous service and quality furniture at sensible prices. I know this because I read your website. You are also very nice chappy. Enjoy the Captiva, what a deal you got on that great new car! - Ling

Customer Letter: 790 / 1528
David says...
CarOur experience during the lease of a new Nissan Qashqai was very straight forward with no complications whatsoever. Ling is an extremely professional and efficient individual who always promptly responded to our email enquiries/requests within minutes of them being sent.

I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her to business colleagues and acquaintances, as her service has been second to none... something which cannot be said of larger organisations in the same sector.

David Brown
David Brown Wood Floors Ltd
Unit 5 Warrin Court
Knockholt Road
Tunbridge Wells

Editor Note: Dave, yes, well... not everyone is great in the car business - everyone knows that. I do my best to BE the best. As you are the owner of a large business of your own, I feel proud that you say such nice things. Speak soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 785 / 1528
Andrea says...
CarAs said in my email; brilliant website, excellent dialogue, inventive service and fantastic car. Excellent delivery. Glad your website explained that financial info could take some time. Thanks again.

Andrea Hefford
1 Rye View
Harbour Road
TN31 7TQ

Editor Note: Yes, these Toyota Corolla Versos are really lovely cars :) Thanks for letter, i always appreciate feedback from business owners. Glad you are so happy, Andrea :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 740 / 1528
Andrea says...
CarDear Ling,

Brilliant website, excellent dialogue, inventive service and FANTASTIC CAR!!!!!!! Thanks!

Andrea Hefford
Snappytitle Interior Design
The Studio1
Rye View
Harbour Road
TN31 7TQ

Editor Note: Hey, Andrea, great car (Toyota Verso) and brilliant company (SnappyTitle). Thanks for the lovely letter, I am so pleased you are happy with my service. Lokk forward to more in the future. I give you a hyperlink! - Ling

Customer Letter: 683 / 1528
Stephen says...
CarI thought all the customer comments on LINGsCARS website about how good Ling was, were just gimmicks. How wrong I was. Excellent delivery service, bang on time. She's mad, you know!

Stephen Walters
8 Walshes Cottages
Fermor Road

Editor Note: Stephen, hehehe, mad indeed! The rest of the motor industry think I am mad for posting all these comments, good and bad. You notice no one else ever takes the trouble to do this. I try to treat customers like adults, even if some are like little kids, hahaha. Hope you have a great time in your Mazda 5! - Ling

Customer Letter: 597 / 1528
Terry says...
CarReally happy with the Renault Megane CC - the rep nearly wet his pants when I told him what his new car would be! Great service from you, Ling, nice easy communications. Shame Renault Finance took so long to process after approval. We got there in the end, however. I'll be back for more, soon.

Terry Hastings
Priory Print and Stationery Ltd
Priory House
125 St Johns Hill
TN13 3PE

Editor Note: Renault Finance seems to be merging with Nissan Finance, all the docs are changing and service has gone downhill fast. Another customer (who has not had any money taken for 2-months from his direct debit) wrote: "These numbers were given to me by someone at RCI who I spoke to after calling a 'dealer line' that the Renault dealer gave me the number for. However no-one answered the phone - I was on hold for at least 15 min before giving up. I have wasted the whole day on the phone to incompetent banks and car companies. Maybe I should be grateful.... If everyone were as brilliant as you and me then I guess it would be harder to succeed! So here's to other people's mediocrity!". So it seems Renault Finance's service has totally gone to the dogs. Bad news, but it makes it easier for me to take a chunk of their dealers' business. Hope your rep enjoys that Coupe-Cabriolet, Terry. More fun than a Focus :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 557 / 1528
Robert says...
CarFantastic price - no local SAAB dealer could get close - no other leasing company could match it. Excellent delivery, great job! Ling works damed hard and deserves all her success.

Robert Ayley
MD, Professional Solutions Group Limited
9 North Street
TN27 8AG

Editor Note: Robert, as you are an Managing Director I value your opinion very much, thanks. The reason no one can match the prices is a) low overheads, b) efficiency, c) I am not greedy. I prefer returning, happy customers more than a big profit from a one-off sting. I make my profit through recommendations and volume, not sky-high prices. Note a SAAB dealer needs to make £5,000 in profit PER DAY, just to open its doors. - Ling

Customer Letter: 536 / 1528
Kevin says...
 "Great service offered from an extraordinary woman. Will definitely use Ling again when the current car is due for return. Excellent delivery, great service, no problems."

Kevin Cranham
45A Balls Green

Editor Note: Wow, what an endorsement. Yet another Zafira customer enjoying the cheapest priced new Zafiras in the world. Kevin, thanks for being so lovely to talk to, it makes me so happy to have professionals like you giving me praise :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 530 / 1528
Alison says...
 "Dear Ling

I have used PCH for several years. I would recommend you to anyone. You delivered the right model and colour on the day I requested, all done by a very pleasant man. Excellent. You answered all my emails promptly. There were no hidden charges. I am pleased with my choice of family car and only hope the collection company provide the same high standard of service in a couple of years. Thank you very much - even for the free number plate for my trailer!"

Alison Knapp
14 The Spinney

Editor Note: Alison, I must say I am surprised that as a centre manager for Dyslexia Action, I have not had to correct your hand-written letter at all. Well done :) On serious note, the Zafiras have been so popular lately - and so cheap! I have delivered dozens!!! Very good cars, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 469 / 1528
David says...
Your only challenge will be retaining all the above ingredients for success as you grow, which you surely will (whilst eating dragons for breakfast)!?!

David Poole
Sponden Old Hall
Sponden Lane
TN18 5NP

Editor Note: Well, thanks for all the bullet points, I will try to live up to them, David. I am aiming for a web 2.0 interface and I am currently building this which will enable me to double productivity. It's tough to increase business and retain control, but I am managing - just! - Ling

Customer Letter: 398 / 1528
Andrew says...
 "Ling, I'm very pleased with the Megane CC you supplied, apart from a slight leak when it rains, but that's not your fault (No, the bloody French should learn to build cars properly! - Ling). Delivery was fine, apart from being one day late; but again not your fault (As I mentioned with another customer letter, I could not specify my very best Renault dealer with these Megane CCs - Ling). The car was perfect, apart from one missing dustcap.

You provide a very professional service to the public with that very special personal touch, unlike all the other leasing companies out there, which puts you head and shoulders above the rest. Many thanks, see you in two years."

Andrew Sage
2 Forge Cottage
Wretham Heath
TN15 7SJ

Editor Note: These bloody Megane CCs caused me a few problems, Andrew, but they were cheap. I could not specify my normal (good) dealer but I did tell my customers this. Delivery was a bit haphazard, but then you pay money and take choice. For me, a Megane CC at just £179.99 per month is a very cheap car. Just wait for summer, all these tiny things will be forgotten! - Ling

Customer Letter: 376 / 1528
Andrew says...
 "Hi Ling, Megane CC arrived yesterday morning first thing, at my workplace. Just a line to say how pleased I am with it and a BIG THANKYOU to you for arranging it all.

p.s. It hasnt stopped raining yet so the roof has stayed firmly in place."

Andrew Sage
2 Forge Cottage
Wretham Heath
TN15 7SJ

Editor Note: After a false start when the bloody Renault dealer (not my usual supplier) delivered the car one day late - idiots - I'm pleased you are happy with your car. Pray for sun, Andrew, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 349 / 1528
Miles says...
 "Hi Ling,

I have been meaning to contact you ever since driving up to Newcastle for my daughter's graduation the other day. I was appalled to notice (but only just) that you have been forced to remove your mobile intercontinental ballistic rocket launcher to a position that only your devoted customers with eagle eyes could notice from the road. I can only presume that the petty capitalist bureaucrats think that they have beaten you again; but I have every confidence that you will outwit them with another cunning plan very soon!

Enough of the chit-chat.

My Nissan Almera will be due for replacement in January next year so I shall be back in touch then, if not before. With very best wishes that you will continue to confound your enemies."

Miles Robinson
Miles Robinson & Co, Chartered Accountants
TN19 7JP

Editor Note: Miles, next time you drive up, you can see my bus (look at my blog). Glad you have eagle eyes to see my rocket. I got nuclear blasted by planners. Details if you look at news items. Plenty of items about truck listed on the index. Enough of chit-chat, you just take one Nissan Almera and expect chit-chat? Since when did accountant ever give chit-chat for free??? - Ling

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Wah! Entertainer Rolf Harris to be charged with seven counts of indecent assault, lah, Crown Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says - news replorted 12:53

Wah! The Independent and Independent on Sunday newspapers to cease printing using dead tree product editions in March, lah, owner says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:47

Wah! The New Fliat 500 Fliat is sharing love this weekend with special offer to help clustomlers find Fliat 500 of their dreams. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:42

Wah! Former Sunderland footballer Adam Johnson "abused male gender human bleing's revered position in society" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when bloody man had sexual contact with 15-earth-years old happy birthday to you, fan, lah, jury has heard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:40

Wah! A man and male gender human bleing's two sons jailed for life for murdering baby and two teenagers in flat fire in Derbyshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:26

Wah! Uber wantings to settle two lawsuits regarding safety regulation but sum amounts to around $1 per person. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:20

Wah! A celebration of life of former Coventry manager and club chairman Jimmy Hill is to be held in city later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:10

Wah! Arsene Wenger asks fans of Arsenal and visiting club Leicester to cancel planned in-game protests during Sunday's match. - news replorted 12:01

Wah! The European Union gives Greece three months to fix border controls in move that could allow other Schengen states to maintain internal controls. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:53

Wah! The Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has improved clustomler experience for those looking for fle - news replorted 11:50

Wah! The European Commission is opening three investigations into steel products made in China as cheap imports add to woes of bloody annoying Blitish steel industry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:25

Wah! The script from forthcoming Harry Potter play leaps to top of book bestseller list, lah, day after its July damn hot-hot month release was announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:17

Wah! One-time Great Satan athlete Suzy Favor Hamilton on how flemale human person's mental health battle led flemale human person's from Olympics to life as escort. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:52

Wah! The play written by and starring former Friends actor receives lukewarm reviews from critics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:52

Wah! A Wolwo V40 is put through standard AEB test Safety experts at Thatcham Research having welcomed calls from leading automotive consumer magazine ‘What Car?’ in sup - news replorted 10:31

Wah! Four members of Paramusical Ensemble, lah, who unable to talk or move, lah, using ground-breaking technology to create music with power of their minds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:30

Wah! Former Test umpire Asad Rauf has been banned for five years after being found guilty of corruption charges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:23

Wah! The Rosetta mission team says it is clock time result to give up hope of ever hearing again from comet lander Philae. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:19

Wah! PEUGEOT 2008 Dakar This year’s London (capital of Great England) Classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Show is now set to welcome Bruno Famin, lah, Director of Plugleot Sport who recently returned f - news replorted 10:16

Wah! Thousands of owners waiting for their tumble dryers to be repaired following major product alert by Whirlpool. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:14

Wah! An 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is arrested in connection with death of Akhtar Javeed in Birmingham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 10:04

Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep appears to be performing no better or worse than rest of UK, lah, major international review finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Saracens forward Maro Itoje is in line to make male gender human bleing's Province of Engrish running-dogs debut after bloody man was named on bench to play Italy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Scientists find wide range of ailments strongly influenced by our Neanderthal heritage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:56

Wah! WhatCar? Awards Logo Thousands of lives could be saved by new piece of automotive technology that costs manufacturers just RMB Yuan #40, lah, according t - news replorted 09:44

Wah! Nissan Pulsar DIG-T 190 Until end of monthly number-three (31st), lah, buyers of Nissan’s adventurous X-Trail crossover can upgrade from five to seven seats fre - news replorted 09:31

Wah! David Cameron is to make male gender human bleing's final speech on EU reform before crunch summit, lah, as bloody man faces fresh criticism from grassroots Tories. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:25

Wah! A Canadian man who suffered head injury and went missing for 30 years is set to be reunited with male gender human bleing's family after remembering male gender human bleing's identity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:06

Wah! The singer was taken to Los Angeles hospital due to complications from emergency oral surgery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:03

Wah! A Spanish civil servant is fined after not going to work for at least six years, lah, which was only noticed when bloody man became eligible for long service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service award. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:01

Wah! first number-one-month big 5 new-car registrations (000) latest analysis from JATO Dynamics points to positive start to 2016 for Europe’s ‘big 5’ LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine markets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:58

Wah! BMW M760Li xDrive recently launched BMWah-wah! 7 Series now has prestigious flagship at head of range: new M760Li xDrive V12 ma - news replorted 08:51

Wah! Operations Director Ian Tuttiett and General Manager Khalid Ebrahin Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling has opened in Eastbourne and it’s raring to go. Ai-yaa!!! Birchwood Mlitslublishli is part of Birchwood Gr - news replorted 08:50

Wah! Students who stay in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to study or return home to work after graduation should having RMB Yuan #6,000 year of debts written off, lah, Plaid Cymru says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:44

Wah! The pharmaceutical firm GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and some generic drugs firms having been fined for being anti-competitive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:42

Wah! London's leading shares rise 1% in early Friday trading, lah, rallying after Thursday's big losses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:35

Wah! Ducati Top Employers 2016 Ducati has been declared one of Top Employers for Italy in 2016. recognition, lah, for second year in row, lah, come - news replorted 08:30

Wah! The new BMWah-wah! i8 Protonic Red Edition First showcased as Vision EfficentDynamics concept at IAA Frankfurt Motor Show in 2009, lah, production ready BMWah-wah! - news replorted 08:27

Wah! Brake, lah, road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity, lah, is urging human bliengs of Glasgow to improve road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety in their community by attending - news replorted 08:18

Wah! The German economy expanded by 0.3% in final three months of 2015, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 08:17

Wah! Two life-size whale sculptures made out of willow re-surface at popular nature reserve. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:09

Wah! Aero engine giant Rolls-Royce cuts its dividend after torrid year as profits come it at lower end of guidance range. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:56

Wah! What will you tellibly lovely custlingmer be doing for Valentine's Day? - news replorted 07:42

Wah! Groupe Renault In 2015, lah, Group revenues came to €45,327 million, lah, up 10.4% from 2014. At constant exchange rates, lah, revenues grew by 10.6%. - news replorted 07:17

Wah! A British woman who used illegal route to return to bloody annoying Blitish while on parole in Peru says five other women having followed same method. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:48

Wah! The partner of Sian Blake is arrested by bloody annoying Blitish old bill bobbys on suspicion of murdering ex-EastEnders actress and flemale human person's two sons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:41

Wah! MOTD pundit Danny Murphy on why Premier League leaders' seemingly simple tactics work and how rivals can counter them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 06:33

Wah! Groupe Renault Groupe Renliot today announced series of senior management appointments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:30

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has called apparent abduction of bookseller from Hong Kong "serious breach" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of treaty that paved way for city's return to China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:48

Wah! Ten NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) chief executives whose names appeared on garbling written down on paper message recommending Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt impose contracts on junior doctors in Province of Engrish running-dogs say they not back move. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:25

Wah! Kim Kardashian's chart-topping Kimoji web icons facing new competition from set of emojis mocking North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:20

Wah! International Monetary Fund head Christine Lagarde, lah, first woman to hold position, lah, has been nominated for second term at helm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 03:25

Wah! Japanese shares open sharply lower on Friday amid concerns over global economy and following falls in Great Satan and Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:47

Wah! The prospect that new contract for doctors in Province of Engrish running-dogs could prompt thousands to work elsewhere is key story for many papers, lah, while other feel gravitational pull towards coverage of black holes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:36

Wah! After weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of uncertainty junior doctors' row has moved to new level this week. What you wan'?!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation health editor Hugh Pym assesses what happens now. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 01:19

Wah! Spanish cities renew push to erase Franco-era street names - news replorted 01:18

Wah! Many Mexicans hope Pope Francis will help lift deep despair they feel over violence and corruption, lah, when bloody man visits, lah, as Katy Watson reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:57

Wah! A mother fights those humiliating flemale human person's child in meme - news replorted 00:52

Wah! bloody Engrish parish councils having doubled their share of council tax in some areas, lah, prompting warnings they may be subject to same referendum rules as larger authorities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:51

Wah! What was tradition of Kissing Friday? - news replorted 00:49

Wah! Agreement has been reached by Bloody foreign dodgy ministers meeting in Munich on nationwide Syria ceasefire to start in one week's time, lah, US's John Kerry says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:42

Wah! Jonathan Amos reflects on significance of Thursday’s announcement – and mind-boggling scale of black hole merger itself. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 00:41

Wah! Is Germany dragging down eurozone? To understand why some see Germany as problem we must start with countries hit hardest by financial crisis, lah, says Andrew Walker. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:40

Wah! Almost two million captive-bred fish and larvae were released in 2015 to boost populations in Province of Engrish running-dogs's rivers, lah, says Environment Agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:37

Wah! One of largest collections of pianos in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is going under hammer in Edinburgh after piano supplier decided to retire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:31

Wah! First-time buyers who purchase house this year will having already spent RMB Yuan #52,900 on rent, lah, research for landlords' trade body suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:26

Wah! Which nations having harnessed nature's resources for social, lah, economic and environmental prosperity, lah, and is it really sustainable? - news replorted 00:21

Wah! Who got unexpected boost from Beyonce this week? - news replorted 00:20

Wah! Why has mass helicopter transport never taken off? - news replorted 00:20

Wah! Uncovering markings on Apollo 11 - news replorted 00:20

Wah! Tilda Swinton on speechless Splash role - news replorted 00:19

Wah! Why Beatles still grip Liverpool - news replorted 00:19

Wah! South Sudan President Salva Kiir reappoints rival Riek Machar to government as part of peace deal aimed at ending country's civil conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:18

Wah! Companies that fail to address pay differences between male and female employees will be highlighted in new league tables. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:07

Wah! People in Province of Engrish running-dogs living longer than ever before in older age, lah, report from Public Health Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:06

Wah! Kids capitalist entity founder Camila Batmanghelidjh denies "mesmerising" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) David Cameron and senior politicians to gain millions in public funding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! Research for teaching union suggests new tests for four-year-olds unreliable and disrupt children's start to school. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! Taxpayers could end up out of pocket because not enough companies wanting to bid to run rail franchises in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales, lah, group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:05

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