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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1535 / 1528
Elizabeth says...
MAZDA 6Great service, so helpful. We needed a car quickly and everything was done for us in superb time. Dealer was excellent and our Mazda 6 was delivered on time and well presented.

Elizabeth Maciver
22 Howe View
AB51 0PR

Editor Note: Thanks for the letter Liz! Great news that you loved everything and got the Mazda so quickly. Enjoy it in Bonnie Snowwie Scotland! I pass on your thanks to dealer. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1525 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTAI was a first time leaser, I was told about Ling's, not too sure when I looked at other sites. All I can say is I kept going back to Ling's, glad I did. A wacky but worthwhile experience, got the car I wanted (Fiesta) at the best price… Dealer Service – Good – No complaints.

David Mcculloch
48 Calderglen Avenue
G72 9UN

Editor Note: No complaints, no regrets :) And you will not regret the Fiesta which is just about the best small car you can get. I especially appreciate you say I had the best price, as you are Scottish :) hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1520 / 1528
Helen says...
MAZDA 6Ling's service has been excellent. She kept me informed every step of the way and car arrived on specified date. I would highly recommend her service. I also got insurance from the broker she recommended and it was great too! Dealer Service – Excellent.

Helen Mcdowell
The Orchard
Main Road
G82 5JX

Editor Note: What can I say, Helen? ... Everything was "excellent", including your choice of car, the Mazda 6. It was a bargain for a sporty 5 seat family car. Hope you enjoy it zooping around the lake district. Thanks for being so lovely to deal with. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1507 / 1528
Karen says...
VOLVO XC90Ling – I can find no faults with your service in supplying me with my wonderful new Volvo XC90. I found the whole process very easy and compliment you and your staff on your great attention to detail. I was kept informed every step of the way and will certainly be back to you in 3 years time. Well done on a great service to your customers – I really felt I came first!

Dealer service – Excellent – they provided excellent service – no complaints at all.

Karen Derrick
Kinchurdy Road
Boat Of Garten
PH24 3BP

Editor Note: Wow! That's a very nice letter Karen. Thanks. The XC90 will be very useful in the middle of nowhere in Scotland. Especially in the snow. Lovely to deal with you, it was great fun :) Go and play with it in the lochs and glens, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1471 / 1528
Andrew says...
 Amazingly fast transaction, faultless professionalism. See you in two years for another. Dealer Service – EXCELLENT. True gent delivering car in pristine condition.

Andrew Neilson
4 Fintry Gardens
G61 4RJ

Editor Note: Andrew, fantastic! How great that I am getting such nice letters from Mercedes customers, as Merc UK are trying to kill my supply of new cars. I really think that I can beat Merc at their own "quality" game. Fantastic letter, thanks. Enjoy the CLK. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1451 / 1528
Keith says...
JEEP WRANGLERLingsCars is a great company to deal with, the whole experience was fun AND efficient. The communication was/is fantastic, you always know what is happening with your car as the process goes on. I will definitely be back for my next car. Dealer service was average: Quick to deliver vehicle, bust slow to rectify problem.

Keith Hart
9 Lady Street
Tain, Ross-Shire
IV20 1XE

Editor Note: You had a missing wheel nut key on your Jeep Wrangler, and it took the dealer an age to get it to you. That was the problem. Apart from that, you have a mammoth car at a really cheap price - what a vehicle the Jeep is for your business! You arrange and produce shows and exhibitions. Thans so much for the brilliant comments about my service, Keith! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1412 / 1528
Katherine says...
AUDI A3This is the first time I have leased a car and it been a very good experience. Very competitive costs and easy to communicate- no pushy sales staff!! I have been impressed with the service and quick response to all questions raised during the process. I have in fact recommended you to a number of people who have asked me how it all went! I woul d not hesitate to lease again and I will be back for another Audi in three years time.

Excellent delivery - very happy with the service - they called arranged delivery and were waiting there with the car. Very impressed!!

Katherine Yates
Address Withheld
Dunoon, Argyll
PA23 ***

Editor Note: Katie, super letter, thanks! Glad you were happy :) Always happy when customers say it was a good experience, that's what I like. Not really about the cars, more about people I think. I pass your regards to the supplier. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1406 / 1528
Adnan says...
BMW M3 COUPETruly exceptional service. Beats all the other competitors in the market. Trust me when I say it is a ''personalised' service that Ling has set up! Response are near instant and a history of all communications is kept in one 'Lingo' page so you can always go back if you lose your way. Super dooper. Excellent delivery of my new M3 by the BMW dealer!

Adnan Ali
14 Meadowhill
Newton Mearns
G77 6SX

Editor Note: BMW UK, are you listening? BMW UK are being consistent bastards to me by trying to get me to stop supplying their new cars. They send a solicitor letter every week. However, I will not be brow-beaten. If BMW UK read this letter, they can see how my service is actually better than theirs, as they manage nowhere near the communication excellence and customer satisfaction I achieve. This was a BMW M3, a £50k car! That Adnan thought I beat every other competitor for service makes me very happy. All customers get the same treatment - the very best in the industry. BMW UK, feel free to apologise for bullying me with your multi-£million lawyer budgets and threats. Thanks for comments, Adnan. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1372 / 1528
Steven says... is an oasis in a desert of faceless, dull companies. Her service has been excellent, despite the long delay in securing finance. Her website and correspondence stand head and shoulders above the others and I couldn't find a better price anywhere so that's a tick in that box as well. A joke, a laugh, good service and a good price. A winning combination. Excellent delivery, exactly what was expected.

Steven Stalker
2 Overalmond House

Editor Note: Apart from the damn slow finance companies (they are a complete pain post-crunch) we got everything sorted and you are very happy, I think, Steve. You work in a company which is also at the cutting edge of cheap and growing sector. Keep up the good work. Enjoy the new Mazda 3. You are dead right about other faceless, dull companies! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1365 / 1528
Keith says...
SMART FORTWO COUPEWe're delighted with our new wee car, the Smart coupe ForTwo. Ling- thanks for everything you've done - We'll certainly come back to you!! Good delivery as expected.

Keith Morrice
94a Market Street
AB21 9JH

Editor Note: Keith, you are a finance manager for an underwater oil rig company. I appreciate that you must have figured out this is the cheapest way to get a new Smartie car. Lovely to deal with you, wee you in a couple of years, eh? Enjoy the Smart! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1358 / 1528
Craig says...
 LINGsCARS is a brilliant business. It allows me, as a young professional to have the car I want without the cost of repairs and a car that depreciates in value. Ling was lovely to deal with, speedy responses and a good fun attitude. I am a very happy customer. Excellent delivery, friendly driver, couldn't fault anything.

Craig Lawrence
23 Conner Avenue

Editor Note: Super duper letter, Craig! Thanks so much. You forgot to mention that as a Scottish ethnic you are tight in the money department, so I am sure you appreciated the fast car for slow money! Happy, happy! Your only challenge is insurance cost, but as car was as cheap as deep fried Mars bar, you have plenty of cash left for that. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1312 / 1528
Colin says...
HONDA CR-VI am writing to you after receiving my Honda CR-V. This is the first time I have used contract hire. I was a wee bit sceptical at first especially looking at other websites. They would display a price to get your attention but when asked for a quote it was usually very different. Your website is very informative, if a bit quirky but the price you see is the price you pay and you are very competitive.

Your service is outstanding and your Lingo system is very good. Your reply times are excellent; I never had to chase you for anything. This is what made the experience so stress free. You communicate very well which makes the transaction simple.

My Honda arrived at 11am. Exactly at the time arranged with the dealer. I am absolutely delighted with it. I have recommended you to all my friends and family and I will be back in three years for another deal.


Colin Kersley
North Connel
By Oban
PA37 1RE

Editor Note: Colin, thanks for the kind comments, especially about LINGO. I agree, many other websites have out of date or untrue pricing - they think it is clever to try and trick people, eh? I like "stress-free", too, so I do everything as fast as possible :) Glad you like the Honda CRV! A lovely car. I am pleased that as a first-time contract hire user you were so happy with everything. Thanks! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1279 / 1528
Daina says...
FORD FOCUS ESTATEI was still awaiting quotes from some other companies 6 months down the line, but Ling was very efficient and quick. Very good service - I have already recommended you to many friends. I love my new Ford Focus and I will get my next cars from Ling, too! Good delivery.

Daina Carnochan
11 Melrose Place, Kintore
AB51 0SY

Editor Note: Daina, you are a veterinary in the North of Scotland. I expect you have enough trouble with all the pesky animals (and owners) to have to worry about dealing with car supply idiots. So, I am glad I came out top for you. Why some other companies don't perform - I don't know? They are silly for missing out on the business. Back to those cats and dogs (or cows) and hope the Focus Estate does the job, carrying all the pets around :). You also have a nice name! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1274 / 1528
James says...
 Special deal on my SAAB 9-3 Sportwagon, excellent service and great communication. Will deal with Ling again in the future. Ling's staff are great, too. Great freebies, I'm hoping to get to China soon to spend all that free money! Excellent delivery from the dealer, no problems, good communication.

James Macmillan
Brevin House

Editor Note: You have a new SAAB Sportwagon at a great price, James! Hope you enjoy it along with your easter eggs up in Shetland! My God, you must have nose bleeds every day, being that far North. Thanks for kind words, it's great when customers are so happy. I'm particularly pleased you felt my communication was good, this is an area where I am world leader :) See you in a few years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1270 / 1528
Vivien says...
AUDI A3Ling, everything went great with my new Audi A3. Service was superb, with no complaints. Well done!!! Excellent car delivery.

Vivien Cumming
8 Hutchison Terrace
AB10 7NN

Editor Note: Vivien, great to hear you are a happy bunny at Easter. These A3s are great cars for a cheap price. I'm really pleased you love your new car. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1234 / 1528
Scott says...
 This is our third car ordered from Ling and as usual the customer service has been quick and excellent. I would highly recommend LINGsCARS and will keep using Ling for our fleet requirements. Good delivery on the SAAB, no problems to report.

Scott Allison
Abica Ltd
9 Dava Street
G51 2JA

Editor Note: Scott, job done! Good customer on your 3rd car from me, next car I send you free mats! Each mat pack contains 4 mats, which means you will have one for each car - easy. How lovely it is to deal with you, Scott, and it's so easy to remember the name of someone who is called after the country he lives in :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1220 / 1528
Gareth says...
HONDA CIVICLing, my wife and I were very impressed with your service. Getting our car from you was a no-brainer. Monthly payments were half than if we bought the Honda Civic. We went to a dealer for a test drive, loved the car, then signed up with you. End to end in 3-weeks.

Your style is a refreshing change, very prompt at updates and answering questions. Love the LINGO system. I've already got family getting cars from you based on me raving about you. I look forward to getting my next car from you. Excellent delivery, Honda driver was very prompt and polite.

Gareth Hodgson
Address Withheld
PA1 ***

Editor Note: I withhold your address for security because you do important stuff for Australia. Gareth, so pleased - you sound like a happy bunny with your Civic. You should not take advantage of dealers' goodwill by using them as a test-drive facility (mmmmmpppfffff :). Poor souls. LINGO - thanks so much for the comments, I put a hell of a lot of work into that. Now, I am dealing with being flooded with your family :) Enjoy that Honda! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1218 / 1528
William says...
CITROEN C-CROSSERStress free, straight forward transaction on my new Citroen C-Crosser, and nice Chinese sweets, too! I will be back in 23 months!! Excellent delivery, courteous and knowledgeable driver.

William Smith
14 Cowieson Crescent
AB41 7GJ

Editor Note: Good, good. That's what I like, smooth, easy and fuss-free. You should see me paddling like a mental duck under the water, hahahahaha! Bloody motor industry never easy, BUT, I keep the stress away from super customers like you :) Enjoy the C-Crosser, Willy! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1207 / 1528
Mark says...
 Very helpful and friendly. No problems answering my silly questions as a first time lease customer.

Your website is very "interesting" but actually works very well - especially the LINGO system.

As for the Honda Civic Type-R itself, it has a funky and comfortable interior, brilliant VTEC engine and massive boot. Huge grip, but the handling is rather inert. Not a true Type-R perhaps, but a grown up one. Excellent delivery, friendly and informative.

Mark Fisher
7 Morven Circle
AB32 6WD

Editor Note: Mark, as you are a software developer, never mind the car - thanks so much for the comments about LINGO! These Type R's are more sensible than the previous model, but still look and go great. Thanks for the letter, you were a star customer - even a first timer! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1152 / 1528
John says...
CITROEN C4 PICASSOI've been Linged! That is, carried through a first experience of renting a car of my choice by Ling Valentine, and made to feel a special customer. Wonderful to feel confidence in every part of the transaction from first enquiry until the prompt delivery of the car as requested.

The service from the dealer regarding supply of my Citroen C4 Picasso was fine. They seemed to sit on the paperwork for transferring my cherished plate to the car (it was actually the DVLA - Ling) which delayed my car a bit.

Good delivery. My Citroen is lovely, drives smoothly and will be economical on fuel, tax and insurance.

John Dougall
17 Haining Place

Editor Note: The delay was the DVLA, Jack, not the dealer. However, your C4 Picasso will certainly be economical on road tax as you get that for free! :) You were a superstar customer, and you sent me many videos, from your webcam. At one stage we were chatting via video back and forth, despite you are a bloody "silver" surfer. It was so cool! I'm so pleased you enjoyed the experience, you were lovely to deal with. Thanks. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1137 / 1528
Leigh says...
FIAT PANDAGood service, good website - quick response times - very impressed with car - will be coming back in 3 years time - liked the extras in the post too :). Once the date was finalised, delivery of my new Fiat Panda was very good.

Leigh Mckenna
31 Perkhill Road
AB31 4TG

Editor Note: Another Kung-Fu Panda! Nice to have good website comments from a freelance web designer/developer! Thanks so much. You were a superstar to deal with, Leigh. Hope you enjoy the Panda diesel! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1076 / 1528
Ross says...
 This is my 3rd contract hire, first from Ling, and won't be the last. Very, very good. Delivered on time. She kept me updated at every stage. So happy I offered to marry her! Will try again in 2 years. Lol. Excellent delivery, very good, pleased to do business.

Ross Neilson
Ross Neilson Butchers
52 Broomton Road
G21 3RU

Editor Note: Hahahaha, why would I marry a butcher (and I am already married!)? You will smell of sausages :) Having said that, good butchers are quite rich and I would have good supply of belly pork. Hmmm..... So happy you love the Astra Sport Hatch. Mind the blood on the carpets! Lovely to deal with you, you are nutter. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1066 / 1528
Ashita says...


Just a short note (adding to the 1,000s already posted online) to say a big, big thank you for delivering our new car to us. The lack of hassle, the speediness of response and the general all round happiness that surrounds you and your team actually makes changing a car fun instead of the horror story it usually is. A lot of “professional” dealerships could learn from you!

At least four different brokers told me that an SLK at the price you delivered was an impossible but clearly you were willing to go the extra mile. Will be back in 24 months to get another plus will be extolling the virtues of leasing from you to anyone who is willing to listen.

Ps. Thank you for the free lunch the Fuku noodles still crack me up every time I look at the packet

Ashita Waterston (Dr)
Address withheld
G63 ***

Editor Note: Ashita! Wow, fantastic letter, thanks. You have a damn cheap and damn nice Merc SLK. I will let everyone know with a cancerous tumor that you are the bees-knees to talk to. Make sure you keep your convertible roof in place in certain areas of Glasgow! Have a great time in the car! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1046 / 1528
Michael says...
CarHi Ling.

Thanks for the excellent service you provided me. The car is fantastic and was delivered quicker than expected. Your friendly manner and wacky website really put me at ease and made the whole experience a pleasant one. The speed you answered every question I had was a breath of fresh air. Every promise made was kept. All be back in three years for my next car. Delivery was excellent, delivered on time by a very nice man. Best regards...

Michael Atkinson
Druid House
PA21 2AB

Editor Note: Mick, what a strange job you have - you are an Aquaculture Marine Operative! Whatever that does... I hope you can squeeze all your aqualungs and flippers into your new Qashqai, and that you have a great time up in Scotland. Send me a nice fish. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1023 / 1528
Jens-Ulrich says...
CarLing ist providing us a fantastic personalised service, her prices are very competitive. She and her staff were doing their atmost to provide the right car on short notice, just in time to go on our holidays. The website is cutting edge and the personal touch of dealing with her customers ensures that you don't want to use any other company again. My Zafira was supplied in time without any problems.

Jens-Ulrich Fischer
22 Dalriada Drive
G64 4ES

Editor Note: Achtung! Ulrich, you are a German, us bloody foreigners have to stick together :) Your Zafira was going to be a diesel but due to massive Diesel Particulate Filter problems on these diesel Zafira cars we changed it to a petrol at short notice. You noticed this on German and Austrian Opel Zafira message boards and forums, too. I would not recommend diesel Zafiras. I am so glad you were happy with the petrol one. Hope I met your efficiency standards, I know Germans are keen on doing it right, unlike the bloody French. I have to say you were a wonderful customer; I learned my English watching Dad's Army (really!) and you have burst my imagined German stereotype bubble. Captain Mainwaring is wrong. You are certainly NOT a stupid boy! :) - Ling

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Wah! A terminally ill woman would having been cured of flemale human person's cancer had bloody woman been diagnosed earlier, lah, according to expert witness at Cardiff High Court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:14

Wah! Star Trek legend William Shatner denies rumours bloody man will boldly go to switch on Christmas lights in Cheshire town. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:11

Wah! Facebook, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, Apple, lah, Google, lah, Microsoft, lah, Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) and Yahoo accused of not doing enough to prevent attacks, lah, following review into Fusilier Lee Rigby's murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:08

Wah! A man is arrested over street murder where victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) died following "horrific attack" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 13:57

Wah! A team of Swedish extreme adventurers on 10-day race through Amazon rainforest having adopted stray dog who started following them around after they fed him. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:49

Wah! Night of unrest follows jury's decision - news replorted 13:45

Wah! Two female suicide bombers blow themselves up at crowded market in northern Nigerian city of Maiduguri, lah, killing at least 30 people, lah, witnesses say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:36

Wah! The UK's newest newspaper was launched on Monday and National is taking pro-Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs independence line. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:27

Wah! Cricket, lah, like most sports, lah, carries risks but must retain its edge, lah, writes Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation damn crazy Engrish baseball game Correspondent Jonathan Agnew - news replorted 13:22

Wah! Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere will see specialist about ankle injury suffered in defeat by Manchester United. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:20

Wah! A world-renowned hearing consultant admits secretly filming hundreds of patients, lah, colleagues and hospital visitors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:16

Wah! One of two men who murdered Fusilier Lee Rigby in London (capital of Great England) last year studied at Islamic college in west Wales, lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:14

Wah! A cat suffered two broken legs and was shot more than 40 times with air rifle, lah, veterinary practice in Cornwall says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:11

Wah! Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams apologises for using what bloody man acknowledges was offensive term at public meeting but denies claim (always claiming, huh?) that it was aimed at "all unionists". - news replorted 13:01

Wah! Mexican farmers hold protest wearing just underpants and photograph to protest against alleged abuse of power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:56

Wah! Blue Peter Scientist Steve Mould is given task of looking at some of worst offenders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:54

Wah! UKIP now has two Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters and has been rising in polls, lah, but human bliengs see party as serious political force or just protest vote? - news replorted 12:54

Wah! The eurozone may be stuck in enduring period of no growth, lah, Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:43

Wah! A former Sun editor says David Mellor "is absolute ocean-going idiot" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over male gender human bleing's written-down messages on dead tree to London (capital of Great England) cabbie. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:41

Wah! Scientists using gravity data to produce what they say is most accurate space view yet of global ocean currents and speed at which they move. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:37

Wah! Formula 1 world champion Lewis Hamilton says bloody man is in no hurry to start talks about new deal with Mercedes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:36

Wah! 24 hours of news images: 25 Novemblinger - news replorted 12:34

Wah! A problem with freezing of stem cells may having contributed to death of 12-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl with cancer, lah, coroner rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:20

Wah! A French appeal court refuses to allow father to take custody of male gender human bleing's biological son, lah, who was given up for adoption by male gender human bleing's mother. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:12

Wah! Influential figures from across bloody annoying Blitish automotive industry came together in London (capital of Great England) today to celebrate achievements o - news replorted 12:10

Wah! Infiniti Enters “SYNAPTIQ” in Los Angeles Show Design Challenge Infiniti has won first-ever People’s Choice Award as part of 11th annual Los Angeles Auto Show Design Challenge - news replorted 12:08

Wah! Guy Jones, lah, MG Sales and Marketing Director MG celebrated winning its first manufacturer title in Dunlop MSA British Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship at TOCA Night - news replorted 12:07

Wah! Get ready with ŠKODA Winter Health Check With winter fast approaching and downturn in weather being predicted, lah, ŠKODA owners across bloody annoying Blitish being offered - news replorted 12:05

Wah! NextGear Capital celebrated major success at recent Shoreham vehicling driving car machine Auctions vans auction where its wholesale Stock - news replorted 12:03

Wah! World RX teams' title to be decided in Argentina battle for Teams’ Trophy in FIA World Rallycross Championship will be concluded at Total Rallycross of Argen - news replorted 11:55

Wah! A retired fireman from Thornton Heath appears in court accused of bludgeoning male gender human bleing's adopted son to death with scaffolding pole. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:53

Wah! At least 15 human bliengs having been killed after block of flats collapsed in Egyptian capital, lah, Cairo, lah, BBC's Orla Guerin reports - news replorted 11:38

Wah! The number of patients having to waiting like hell longer than target clock time result to be discharged from hospital has risen again, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! Five years ago, lah, Olly Murs was X-Factor hopeful, lah, but four albums and lot of hard work later, lah, bloody man has been working with one of male gender human bleing's childhood heroes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:34

Wah! A brief history of Australian word - news replorted 11:34

Wah! MK II by Callum with Ian Callum Don’t forget your as really velly special customer's chequebook: dealers promise wide range of exotic, lah, rare and desirable classic cars for sale at London (capital of Great England) - news replorted 11:32

Wah! The murder of Fusilier Lee Rigby could not having been prevented despite male gender human bleing's killers appearing in seven intelligence investigations, lah, report has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:30

Wah! Ducati Scrambler stand After successful unveiling of Ducati Scrambler at Intermot and stealing spotlight at EICMA international - news replorted 11:26

Wah! The level of recorded crime (shoud shoot them) in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land has reached its lowest level in forty years, lah, but sex crimes having risen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:25

Wah! This week's counter-terrorism bill will expand dodgy minister's powers - and face accusations of injustice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:25

Wah! The murder of Fusilier Lee Rigby could not having been prevented despite male gender human bleing's killers appearing in seven intelligence investigations, lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22

Wah! A group of seven Yemenis and Great Satan military expert kidnapped by al-Qaeda-linked militants freed by Yemeni forces, lah, official tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:21

Wah! A computer engineer admits stabbing to death 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy bloody man met online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:17

Wah! Two men suspected of releasing pirated copy of Hollywood blockbuster Expendables 3 having been arrested. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:12

Wah! A PhD student from Brunel University London (capital of Great England) has saved himself RMB Yuan #100,000 by 'hacking' male gender human bleing's own kit. Pass chopsticks!! Adam Lynch created male gender human bleing's own inverted microscope by adapting cheap instrument bloody man bought online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:05

Wah! Ana Botin has moved swiftly to reshape Santander, lah, ousting its chief executive after less than two years in role. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Jon Kay reports from courtroom in Cape Town, lah, as South African prosecutors try to persuade judge not to drop murder case against British businessman Shrien Dewani. - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Top Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) boss accidentally tweets private message about acquiring company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:50

Wah! MPs approve plans to allow themselves to be recalled in cases of serious misconduct and face public vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:48

Wah! Cricketers from around world send messages of support to Phil Hughes, lah, who is in critical condition in hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:47

Wah! Why Nick Drake is not patron saint of miserable - news replorted 10:41

Wah! The controversial Top Gear special that has prompted complaints from Argentine diplomats will air at Christmas, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:39

Wah! Ronnie O'Sullivan, lah, Ali Carter and banana skins for big names - Ken Doherty assesses prospects for snooker's second biggest event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:18

Wah! Porsche enters third 919 Hybrid LMP1 race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in 2015 Le Mans Porsche has announced entry of third Porsche 919 Hybrid LMP1 race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine for 2015 Le Mans 24 Hours in France on 1 - news replorted 10:17

Wah! British TV productions win three awards at International Emmys in US, lah, including best drama prize for axed Channel 4 series Utopia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:15

Wah! Peugeot 208 T16 WRX all-action FIA World Rallycross Championship heads to spectacular setting of San Luis in Argentina for seaso - news replorted 10:11

Wah! West Bromwich Albion and Province of Engrish running-dogs striker Saido Berahino is arrested for drink-driving. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:04

Wah! SsangYong Tivoli SsangYong Motor capitalist entity CEO, lah, Yoo Il Lee, lah, has announced name of company’s all new B-segment crossover - Tivoli. - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Burial workers in Sierra Leonean city of Kenema go on strike in protest at non-payment of allowances for handling Ebola victims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! The concern e-cigarettes gateway to smoking might be unfounded, lah, data suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! A judge begins to hear arguments for why case against bloody annoying Blitish businessman Shrien Dewani, lah, accused of murder of male gender human bleing's wife, lah, should continue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:53

Wah! Health secretary Shona Robison is to make statement to MSPs after inquiry into c. Fry noodle, boil noodle? diff outbreak found "systemic failures". - news replorted 09:51

Wah! Two more Bill Cosby shows axed as veteran comedian continues to face allegations of sexual assault. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:49

Wah! The Maserati 100 Luxury Italian LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine manufacturer, lah, Maserati, lah, and Centre for Entrepreneurs (CFE) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! having launched campaign to find 100 o - news replorted 09:45

Wah! Star Medical Signs For New Rexus Fleet Star Medical Ltd has chosen Rexus for its new vehicling driving car machine fleet, lah, decision based on its careful research into quality, lah, - news replorted 09:44

Wah! Honda reaches 300 million unit milestone Rondla Motor Co., lah, Ltd. I read you little red book! today announced that Honda's cumulative worldwide motorcycle production reached 300 million-un - news replorted 09:36

Wah! Council reorganisation in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep could cost up to RMB Yuan #268m, lah, accountants' report for local authorities says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:33

Wah! Rescue teams searching for survivors in rubble of block of flats that collapsed in Egypt's capital Cairo, lah, killing at least 10 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:20

Wah! Australia batsman Phil Hughes is in critical condition after being hit by ball at Sydney damn crazy Engrish baseball game Ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:14

Wah! Portsmouth is selected to host two preparation events for yachting's 35th America's Cup over next two summers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:06

Wah! World champion Lewis Hamilton tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast that male gender human bleing's title battle with Merceding-Blend teammate Nico Rosberg became "psychological warfare". - news replorted 09:03

Wah! The Cowardly Lion costume from classic film Wizard of Oz sells for more than $3m (RMB Yuan #1.9m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:02

Wah! Dan Wheldon Karting Trophy Motorsport fans can join action and raise funds for worthy Alzheimer’s Society by competing in Dan Wheldon K - news replorted 08:59

Wah! UK’s largest mutual says market is now more cautious, lah, and it is happy to lend to over 40s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:49

Wah! Sony Pictures Entertainment has been targeted by computer hackers in attack which reports say has forced capitalist entity to shut down its corporate network. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:34

Wah! Mental health issues such as stress or depression now leading cause of illness in workplace, lah, with more than eleven million working days lost last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:27

Wah! A long-awaited report will be published on Tuesday on what intelligence services knew before murder of Fusilier Lee Rigby in May last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:25

Wah! The government's flagship welfare reform programme Universal Credit is being extended, lah, with parents able to claim (always claiming, huh?) it for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:24

Wah! Gross mortgage lending has fallen by almost RMB Yuan #1bn at Nationwide, lah, adding to evidence that tighter controls on lending may be curbing borrowing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:22

Wah! A old bill bobbys official in Ferguson says it has probably seen its worst rioting yet after jury decision not to bring charges over Michael "Dear Leader" Brown's death. - news replorted 08:20

Wah! A mysterious explosion heard across parts of Manchester and Salford remains unexplained. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:09

Wah! The National Assembly considering creating Wales-wide law for grave items after Torfaen council took decorations to landfill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:09

Wah! The vehicling driving car machine rental industry is warning clustomlers that government’s plans to rush-through abolition of paper - news replorted 07:49

Wah! The birth of extremely rare Malayan tapir gives hope for endangered species say keepers at Kent animal reserve. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:45

Wah! Balotelli to stay in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Chelsea pull out of race for Reus, lah, Gundogan keen on Premier League, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:37

Wah! The sister of woman murdered by flemale human person's estranged husband is taking part in campaign to stamp out domestic abuse, lah, saying human bliengs should not be living in fear. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:20

Wah! A RMB Yuan #10,000 pay rise for Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs assembly member should be rejected, lah, says leading public sector workers' union Unison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:10

Wah! Protesters in Ferguson, lah, St Louis, lah, attempt to overturn old bill bobbys LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine as demonstrations turn violent after grand jury decision over shooting of unarmed black teenager Michael Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:01

Wah! Mercedes-Benz CLA 45 AMG Shooting Brake Mercedes-AMG is continuing its model initiative: following on from successful 45 AMG, lah, CLA 45 AMG and GLA 45 AMG mo - news replorted 07:00

Wah! The new Mercedes-Benz CLA Shooting Brake Breathtakingly sporty proportions and powerfully dynamic design idiom with sensuously shaped surfaces already made - news replorted 07:00

Wah! The unlikely city that claim (always claiming, huh?) it has most in world - news replorted 06:52

Wah! Pope Francis will address European Parliament and Council of Europe on Tuesday, lah, but will not meet Strasbourg's Catholics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:33

Wah! A consultant in infectious diseases unit at Belfast's Royal Victoria Hospital says it is likely Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers will having to deal with Ebola case in next few months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:29

Wah! A pharmacy is set alight during protests in Ferguson after announcement of grand jury decision. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:11

Wah! old bill bobbys in Ferguson fire tear gas at protesters, lah, following decision of grand jury not to indict old bill bobbys officer who shot Michael Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:41

Wah! Former Australian Test cricketer Phillip Hughes is taken to hospital after being knocked unconscious by short delivery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:12

Wah! The father of Lauren Eley who died after fall from Northampton multi-storey LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine park ten years ago, lah, calls for fresh old bill bobbys investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:02

Wah! Voting begins in India's Jammu and Kashmir state where PM Narendra Modi's BJP is making attempt to win power for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:49

Wah! Former cabinet dodgy minister David Mellor has been secretly recorded having heated row with taxi driver about quickest route to take, lah, tabloid newspaper reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:26

Wah! The grand jury in Missouri decides not to charge old bill bobbys officer who shot unarmed teenager Michael "Dear Leader" Brown in Ferguson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:07

Wah! Samantha Cristoforetti is spending almost six months on International Space Station. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:04

Wah! Celebrating Shelagh Delaney Day - news replorted 03:46

Wah! The strange world of 'head shop' - news replorted 03:12

Wah! Asia's population is rapidly ageing, lah, but many countries in region ill-equipped to deal with older generation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 03:11

Wah! Authorities in Hong Kong tell protesters to leave their camp in Mong Kok, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, as bailiffs prepare to enforce court order (piece of paper signee upee) and clear site. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:53

Wah! Is it clock time result to take Olly Murs seriously? - news replorted 02:52

Wah! Documentary depicts history's smallest superstar - news replorted 02:43

Wah! Urban agriculture plays much more extensive role in global food security than previously estimated, lah, study using satellite data suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:29

Wah! Grand jury in Great Satan state of Missouri decides not to indict old bill bobbys officer over Michael "Dear Leader" Brown shooting in Ferguson - news replorted 02:26

Wah! Poor teaching, lah, inadequate governing bodies and failures to safeguard pupils against extremism having been uncovered by Ofsted inspections carried out without warning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:20

Wah! Four men accused of killing British teenager on holiday on Greek island six years ago will not face further legal action, lah, male gender human bleing's family says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:14

Wah! The government's flagship welfare programme, lah, Universal Credit, lah, is being extended, lah, with parents able to claim (always claiming, huh?) it for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:14

Wah! Australian health insurer Medibank made its stock market debut after raising A$5.679bn (RMB Yuan #3.1bn; $4.9bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in Asia's biggest public offering in two years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:49

Wah! In its first year, lah, free 24-hour bloody annoying Blitish helpline for elderly has been inundated with calls about loneliness. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:45

Wah! A mixed bag of headlines in Tuesday's press, lah, sees two papers focusing on Labour's plans to remove tax breaks from private schools that not partner state counterparts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:59

Wah! Users of public transport should report suspicious behaviour to help thwart terror attacks, lah, old bill bobbys chief says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:47

Wah! Is world set to return to 1980s? - news replorted 00:30

Wah! From weed detecting to robotic dairy - tech that could help farmers be more efficient - news replorted 00:29

Wah! A controversial debate in Arabic trends on Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) - news replorted 00:28

Wah! Two Moscow Africans and their love of Russia's president - news replorted 00:26

Wah! The celebrity preacher and flemale human person's mysterious disappearance - news replorted 00:19

Wah! Samir Nasri says bloody man and male gender human bleing's team-mates playing for their Manchester City futures in this year's Champions League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:16

Wah! Professor Atul Gawande of Harvard University on why more effort needs to be made to improve last stage in people's lives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:15

Wah! Unionists having strongly criticised Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams after bloody man used offensive language at public meeting in Enniskillen on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:14

Wah! Can robot really tell Great Satan whether dish is authentic? - news replorted 00:13

Wah! A group of scientists in Bangkok having invented machine to determine whether Thai food tastes authentic. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:12

Wah! The brain has weak spot for Alzheimer's disease and schizophrenia, lah, according to experts who having pinpointed region using scans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:06

Wah! Jim Murphy calls on male gender human bleing's party to support full devolution of income tax to Holyrood while male gender human bleing's rivals more cautious. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04

Wah! Business leaders say tax reform is needed for North Sea oil sector after survey suggests confidence has fallen sharply. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:03

Wah! As part of African Dream series, lah, we profile entrepreneur who turned male gender human bleing's back on banking to set up shoemaking capitalist entity in Ghana. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:02

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