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News THRUST: Pedrosa claim (always claiming, huh?) French GP victory

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Dani Pedrosa wins French Grand Prix as Britain’s Cal Crutchlow finishes second for male gender human bleing’s best-ever MotoGP result.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Car CO2 change for the Citroen DS3

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Citroen DS3Everyone moans that things go up and up and up. Well, the CO2 on the Citroen DS3 1.6 VTi 16v (120bhp) DStyle Hatchback 3dr 1598cc Petrol Manual has just come down! What a result! This post is to let you know.

Citroen DS3You run this new car for 12, 18, 24 or 36 months depending on the term, and run it within an agreed mileage limit (usually 10,000, 15,000 or 20,000 miles per year, but different mileages are possible). If you exceed the mileage limit, you pay for extra miles at (typically) 4p – 10p per extra mile. This is known as the excess mileage rate.

EnvironmentWhen a customer clicks through into an individual car’s detail, they can see even more information. This includes the CO2 (again) and all three EC fuel consumption measurements. I even include the EU noise rating and the road tax "class" which may influence a customer’s car choice decision. (Please bear in mind that the road tax is completely free, from me – I include that cost information so a customer has more clue about the environmental impact of their new car).

Biofuels also offer a way to reduce vehicles’ impacts on climate change. The fuels are not entirely CO2 neutral because of the energy used to grow and process crops, but they can offer substantial CO2 savings over fossil petrol and diesel. Today most biofuels are sold in a blends of up to 5% with fossil petrol and diesel . These are suitable for use in all vehicles. Fuel standards may be extended in the future to allow more than 5% if it is concluded that this is compatible with existing vehicles. Some manufacturers offer ‘flexi-fuel’ vehicles that can run on bioethanol blends up to E85 – a blend of 85% bioethanol and 15% petrol, as well as fossil petrol.

Enviroment LabelI am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Citroen DS3 Petrol Manual is now 136g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Citroen DS3 is now 47mpg

The Citroen DS3 falls into the E E band overall.

My Citroen DS3 1.6 VTi 16v (120bhp) DStyle Hatchback 3dr 1598cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £215.45 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 17 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

CitroenThis price on my Citroen DS3 includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £215.45 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Citroen DS3The comparative or "fridge" label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. "The usual horseshit", he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck "Calm down dear!" – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalUse air-conditioning sparingly – running air-conditioning continuously will increase fuel consumption significantly.”

Read this, I have this comment up, displayed on <a href="/">LINGsCARS.com</a>: “I’m not very familiar with the car hiring industry, but obviously you are running a fabulous business plus amazing website! As a Chinese, I do appreciate your ability and smartness. Wish you more success in the following days :)
Yu Wang, University of Essex, Colchester, CO4 3SQ
mcwang_@gmail.com

Did you know I can make large savings on mobile phones? LINGsMOBILES.com is here.

LingsMobiles

News DAWDLE: Climber breaks own Everest record

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! British mountaineer Kenton Cool reaches summit of Everest for record-breaking 11th time.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News HORSE: Two hurt, lah, one trapped in plane crash

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Two human bliengs hurtee-hurtee and another is trapped as light aircraft crashes in Gwynedd.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: Redding claim (always claiming, huh?) maiden Moto2 win

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Ling’s news in Chinglish! Scott Redding claim (always claiming, huh?) maiden Moto2 win with victory at French Grand Prix in Le Mans to take championship lead.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Noticing story: Calls for breast gene test change

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs breast cancer charity calls for same genetic testing criteria north and south of border.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News GRUNT: Tunisia old bill bobbys clash with Islamists

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: Tunisian old bill bobbys clash with hundreds of supporters of radical Islamist group Ansar al-Sharia defying attempts to bar gathering.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News JABBER: VIDEO: Denmark wins Eurovision Song Contest

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Denmark’s Emmelie de Forest has won 2013 Eurovision Song Contest, lah, held in Malmo in Sweden, lah, with flemale human person’s song Only Teardrops.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: Eurovision: Back to basics in Malmo

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: Eurovision Song Contest goes back to basics in Malmo

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News swallow: Iran executes two men for spying

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Iranian officials say two men having been executed after they were convicted of spying for Israel and US.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Fiat Grande Punto Lease delivered to Tom Poole in East Molesey

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1532 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Tom Poole wrote this one:

Tom says…
carThe service provided was as usual very slick and professional. I always panic with the smooth effortless approach Ling uses to secure the vehicle. I always believe this is too good to be true and will all go tits up. It never fails to amaze how good Ling is. Well done.

However, the dealer was not so good. Delivery was late, electrical items not working properly. I am still awaiting contact from the supplier to rectify.

Tom Poole
Fairway IFA Ltd
Fiarway House
127 Walton Rd
East Molesey
KT8 0DT

Fiat Grande PuntoEditor Note: Tom, you are a repeating customer, you have had many cars from me. thanks for letter :) …About your problems;- well, this is a FIAT dealer, what more can I say? I am on the case, they WILL sort them out, but frankly service from FIAT dealers is often like this. It is a shame, but true. Thanks for taking the car. – Ling

Headlines again: Lennon guitar sells for $408,000

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: A guitar played by John Lennon and George Harrison of Beatles in 1967 fetches $408,000 (ĀRMB Yuan #269,000) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction in New York.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SNACK: VIDEO: Propaganda: Art or political rhetoric?

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Governments having long used newspapers, lah, posters and leaflets to try and influence what human bliengs think, lah, but new exhibition is showing that there could be much more to it.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Getting noticed: Boys arrested after death at house

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Three teenagers arrested on suspicion of supplying drugs after 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl dies in Warrington.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

NEWS from China: VIDEO: Tornadoes tear through Great Satan states

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Storm-chasers having captured footage showing tornadoes touching down in both Texas and Kansas

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Comparative label for the Mercedes E-Class Coupe

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Mercedes E-Class CoupeMy system has alerted me that the Mercedes E-Class Coupe 2.2 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (170bhp) E220 CDI Sport Coupe 2dr 2143cc Diesel Manual has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.

Mercedes E-Class CoupeOh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising or some big leasing companies complain to me that I slag them off… The industry standard for contract hire is a 1x rental-initial-payment or (more usually) a 3x rental-initial-payment. That’s it. If everyone advertised this, you could easily compare the rental figures as the football field we are playing on would be flat.

EnvironmentMy customers have obtained their cars by the lowest polluting method possible – by acquiring them electronically from the internet. No one has had to travel to a showroom (repeatedly) or contributed to car dealers’ massive environmental overheads (heating, lighting, water use, fuel, staffing costs). The cars I supply are often delivered direct from manufacturers’ depots, or where they have been "through" a dealer, they have not required the showroom overhead (these efficiencies have the added benefit of reducing costs!).

Biofuels also offer a way to reduce vehicles’ impacts on climate change. The fuels are not entirely CO2 neutral because of the energy used to grow and process crops, but they can offer substantial CO2 savings over fossil petrol and diesel. Today most biofuels are sold in a blends of up to 5% with fossil petrol and diesel . These are suitable for use in all vehicles. Fuel standards may be extended in the future to allow more than 5% if it is concluded that this is compatible with existing vehicles. Some manufacturers offer ‘flexi-fuel’ vehicles that can run on bioethanol blends up to E85 – a blend of 85% bioethanol and 15% petrol, as well as fossil petrol.

Enviroment LabelFor this brand new Mercedes E-Class Coupe Diesel Manual, the latest CO2 figure is just 142g/km. When I chose this trim, it was because I have a few of these available. Different trims will have different CO2. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Mercedes E-Class Coupe is now 53mpg

The Mercedes E-Class Coupe falls into the F F band overall.

My Mercedes E-Class Coupe 2.2 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (170bhp) E220 CDI Sport Coupe 2dr 2143cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £374.76 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

MercedesThis price on my Mercedes E-Class Coupe includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £374.76 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Mercedes E-Class CoupeWinning the environmental award (2008 Best Environmentalist in the car industry) was very pleasing for me as it meant I was being recognised for my hard work. I’m the the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! Please note I have pioneered availability of environmental information on the internet. Using the internet to research and buy new cars is the most environmentally friendly method, by miles.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalUse higher gears, as soon as traffic conditions allow.”

My website comment page is overflowing. This is one of my favourites. “Most entertaining site since "origamiboulder" (that is CLASSIC site. I own an Origami Boulder from true artist! – Ling). Ling, you’re the best!!
Mandya Miller, Darlington, DL3 9AJ
aura321_@hotmail.com

If you need a mobile phone, I can find you the best price HERE

LingsMobiles

News SARDINE: Google chief defends tax affairs

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Google’s executive chairman Eric Schmidt defends company’s tax affairs after it comes in for strong criticism from MPs.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News QUACK: Aston Martin : ASTON MARTINā??S RADICAL CC100 SPEEDSTER CONCEPT BREAKS COVER

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Aston Martin is celebrating its centenary in world-class style with debut today (19 May) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! of exceptional CC100 Sp

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News PUNISH: Battling Purdy beaten by Alexander

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Here’s some Chinglish news: Colchester welterweight Lee Purdy goes seven rounds against champion Devon Alexander before male gender human bleing’s corner throw in towel.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

NEWS from China: Arrests after ‘stolen’ bike crash

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Two 19-earth-years old happy birthday to you, men arrested following collision between suspected stolen motorcycle and LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine in County Antrim, lah, that has left man seriously injured.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News NOSTRIL: Syria Tommy Atkins Liberation Army ‘storms’ rebel-held town

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Syrian government forces surround rebel town of Qusair with opposition activists saying at least 16 human bliengs having been killed.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: Tories ‘united’ on Europe, lah, says Hunt

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Ling’s news in Chinglish! The Conservative Party is “united” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on main issues about Britain’s relationship with Europe, lah, health secretary says, lah, amid claim (always claiming, huh?) PM is losing control of male gender human bleing’s backbenchers.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Citroen Berlingo Lease delivered to Mike Donovan in Peterborough

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1532 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Mike Donovan wrote this one:

Mike says…
carLing,

You must be doing something right as I am waiting for delivery of our 6th vehicle from you. Good dealer service.

Mike Donovan
Jensen Security Systems Ltd
15 Orton Enterprise Centre
Bakewell Road, Orton Southgate
Peterborough
PE2 6BY

Citroen BerlingoEditor Note: Hahahaha, and you get sick of writing these letters, eh, Mike? You are one of my best customers :) Keep the orders coming! Enjoy the little van. – Ling

News DAWDLE: Cannes Film Festival 2013

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Daily updates from Cannes Film Festival 2013

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Noticing story: Pair’s theatre vision for bingo hall

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! A couple using their life savings to turn derelict south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys cinema and bingo hall into community theatre.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News NIBBLE: Tyler: ‘I did my velly own damn best at Eurovision’

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Bonnie Tyler reflects on taking bloody annoying Blitish to 19th place out of 26 countries at Eurovision Song Contest, lah, which was won by Denmark’s Emmelie de Forest.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News SATIATE: Miliband pledge on tax avoidance

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Labour leader Ed Miliband says bloody man will write new rules to tackle corporate tax avoidance if bloody man wins next election, lah, even without international agreement.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Gimme News, DOG: NW200 pledge from NI first minister

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: First dodgy minister of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Peter Robinson says government will all it can to ensure North West 200 is more flexible event in future after Saturday’s racing was abandoned due to heavy rain.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Hydrocarbon results for the Vauxhall Astra Hatch have changed

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Vauxhall Astra HatchGreat cars like the Vauxhall Astra Hatch 2.0 CDTi ecoFLEX 16v (162bhp) SE Hatchback 5dr 1956cc Diesel Manual jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes.

Vauxhall Astra HatchThis is very difficult for some people to control because of the damn human nature. But try to look at your car as a simple consumer goods, like a fridge or microwave. Who would get excited by a microwave…? Because these cars are so very, very cheap, often dealer makes just a tiny profit. Almost like handling fee. Me too. I work on numbers of cars, like airline ticket consolidators sell tickets.

EnvironmentWhen a customer clicks through into an individual car’s detail, they can see even more information. This includes the CO2 (again) and all three EC fuel consumption measurements. I even include the EU noise rating and the road tax "class" which may influence a customer’s car choice decision. (Please bear in mind that the road tax is completely free, from me – I include that cost information so a customer has more clue about the environmental impact of their new car).

The other pollutants from petrol, diesel and alternative fuel engines are mainly Carbon Monoxide, Oxides of Nitrogen, un-burnt Hydrocarbons and fine particles. The first three are gases and are invisible. Fine particles are usually invisible although in certain operating conditions diesels will produce visible particles, appearing as smoke. Petrol engines will also produce visible particles if they are burning engine oil or running rich, for example, following a cold start. Unlike CO2, emissions of these pollutants are not directly linked to fuel consumption. Pollutant levels are more dependant on vehicle technology and the state of maintenance of the vehicle.

Enviroment LabelHaving got all the info for the Vauxhall Astra Hatch Diesel Manual, I can publish the new CO2 figure: 119g/km. This will change across the different models of this particular car, they are all a bit different. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Vauxhall Astra Hatch is now 62mpg

The Vauxhall Astra Hatch falls into the C C band overall.

My Vauxhall Astra Hatch 2.0 CDTi ecoFLEX 16v (162bhp) SE Hatchback 5dr 1956cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £237.94 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

VauxhallThis price on my Vauxhall Astra Hatch includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £237.94 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Vauxhall Astra HatchOne of my best awards was the 2008 best non-franchise environmentalist, awarded by Automotive Management. The web is fickle, I have noticed LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! My website won "BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007" in the Automotive Management Awards.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalPlan ahead – choose uncongested routes, combine trips, car share.”

I have so many comments about my website, this one says; “Fantastic website. You are very witty and makes for a good read. Will recommend your site to some friends looking to upgrade their car shortly.
Emma Millar, Kings Lynn, PE30 3PN
milliebk90_@hotmail.com

I have a mobile phone website, now… HERE

LingsMobiles

News FANNY: N Korea urged to end missile tests

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon urges North Korea to end its missile tests after test firing three short-range missiles on Saturday.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Glowing report: VIDEO: Redwood: Europe relationship ‘wrong’

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: John Redwood Membling Partiamentary expense cheater has called for ‘new relationship’ with Europe. What the hell I mean??!! bloody man told Jeremy Vine that British human bliengs should be able to vote on this new relationship.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SCOFF: Tom Ripley and talent for evil

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: The talented Mr Ripley, lah, and meaning of evil

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: Grandmother’s 99th birthday abseil

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: A great-great-grandmother celebrates flemale human person’s 99th birthday by abseiling from top of 11-storey building.

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A headline FROM HELL: VIDEO: River Thames speeding crackdown

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation London (capital of Great England) joins Environment Agency during crack down on anti-social behaviour on River Thames.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News RAT: Wilkinson savours ‘historic’ win

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! World Cup-winning fly-half Jonny Wilkinson says maiden Heineken Cup triumph is one of male gender human bleing’s greatest achievements.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Being Twittered: VIDEO: Pakistani politician is shot dead

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: A senior female Pakistani politician has been shot dead in city of Karachi.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ARMPIT: Cardiff delegates ‘to keep talking’

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: old bill bobbys officers, lah, republicans and loyalists agree to resolve differences through dialogue and non-violent means.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Helping the news: Imran Khan blames rival for killing

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Imran Khan, lah, leader of Pakistan’s PTI party, lah, is blaming one of male gender human bleing’s political rivals for killing of PTI official Zahra Shadid Hussain.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News THIGH: Fears of social service (???) I wan’ service , I wan’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service reform costs

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Major changes to social services could result in extra costs for taxpayers, lah, health service (???) I wan’ service , I wan’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service and local government leaders warn.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Lingified news: Jones apologises after LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine prank

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Stoke striker Kenwyne Jones apologises to team-mate Glenn Whelan after smashing male gender human bleing’s LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine windscreen in revenge act.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News SARDINE: ‘Sole winner’ nets record Great Satan jackpot

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: A ticket holder in Florida has won largest Powerball jackpot in Great Satan history, lah, more than $590m (ĀRMB Yuan #388m), lah, lottery officials say.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News hoover: China Premier Li Keqiang in India

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Today’s news in Chinglish: China’s Premier Li Keqiang travels to India for male gender human bleing’s first Bloody foreign visit since taking office, lah, with border tensions and trade topping agenda.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News DAWDLE: Man dies after being found shot

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: A 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man dies in hospital after being found wounded in Sussex street.

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Chinglish NEWS: Motorway motorbike crash kills two

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: A man and woman having died after motorbike crashes on A1 in Gateshead.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News ROAR: PM ‘losing control of party over EU’

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? The Conservative leadership is “running scared” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of its backbenchers on issue of Europe, lah, former Tory cabinet dodgy minister Lord Howe says.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News HORSE: Papers focus on Tory tensions

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Papers focus on Conservative Party tensions

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News PUNISH: VIDEO: David Beckham’s emotional farewell

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Emotional David Beckham plays last home match at Paris Saint-Germain.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Growing news: Malcolm X grandson suspects remanded

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: Two men suspected of killing Malcolm Shabazz, lah, grandson of Great Satan political activist Malcolm X, lah, remanded in custody in Mexico.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News SNACK: Nigeria Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says crackdown to go on

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Here’s some Chinglish news: Nigeria’s Tommy Atkins Liberation Army vows to continue its offensive against militants in north-east “as long as it takes”, lah, as 24-hour curfew is imposed in Maiduguri.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SCOFF: VIDEO: call from top of world

Posted on | May 19, 2013 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! British explorer Daniel Hughes has reached summit of Mount Everest in attempt to raise ĀRMB Yuan #1m for charity Comic Relief.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
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Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


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CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
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Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
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sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Dani Pedrosa wins French Grand Prix as Britain's Cal Crutchlow finishes second for male gender human bleing's best-ever MotoGP result. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:00



Wah! LATEST:  A man of British origin has been arrested in France in connection with deaths of male gender human bleing's two children, lah, media reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:57



Wah! The death of woman whose body was found in communal garden area of flats in Edinburgh is being treated as "unexplained" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:50



Wah! Monmouth Membling Partiamentary expense cheater David Davies denies Conservative party rift amid claim (always claiming, huh?) someone close to prime dodgy minister branded activists 'mad, lah, swivel-eyed loons'. - news replorted 12:05



Wah! Tunisian old bill bobbys clash with hundreds of supporters of radical Islamist group Ansar al-Sharia defying attempts to bar gathering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:48



Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs breast cancer charity calls for same genetic testing criteria north and south of border. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Scott Redding claim (always claiming, huh?) maiden Moto2 win with victory at French Grand Prix in Le Mans to take championship lead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:40



Wah! Two human bliengs hurtee-hurtee and another is trapped as light aircraft crashes in Gwynedd. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:35



Wah! Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt defends company's tax affairs after it comes in for strong criticism from MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:04



Wah! Storm-chasers having captured footage showing tornadoes touching down in both Texas and Kansas - news replorted 11:03



Wah! Three teenagers arrested on suspicion of supplying drugs after 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl dies in Warrington. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! British mountaineer Kenton Cool reaches summit of Everest for record-breaking 11th time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:40



Wah! Aston Martin is celebrating its centenary in world-class style with debut today (19 May) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! of exceptional CC100 Sp - news replorted 10:30



Wah! Governments having long used newspapers, lah, posters and leaflets to try and influence what human bliengs think, lah, but new exhibition is showing that there could be much more to it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:28



Wah! A guitar played by John Lennon and George Harrison of Beatles in 1967 fetches $408,000 (ĀRMB Yuan #269,000) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:15



Wah! Iranian officials say two men having been executed after they were convicted of spying for Israel and Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! The Conservative Party is "united" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on main issues about Britain's relationship with Europe, lah, health secretary says, lah, amid claim (always claiming, huh?) PM is losing control of male gender human bleing's backbenchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:03



Wah! Syrian government forces surround rebel town of Qusair with opposition activists saying at least 16 human bliengs having been killed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Two 19-earth-years old happy birthday to you, men arrested following collision between suspected stolen motorcycle and LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in County Antrim, lah, that has left man seriously injured. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! Colchester welterweight Lee Purdy goes seven rounds against champion Devon Alexander before male gender human bleing's corner throw in towel. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:35



Wah! John Redwood Membling Partiamentary expense cheater has called for 'new relationship' with Europe. What the hell I mean??!! bloody man told Jeremy Vine that British human bliengs should be able to vote on this new relationship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 08:55



Wah! UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon urges North Korea to end its missile tests after test firing three short-range missiles on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:55



Wah! First dodgy minister of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Peter Robinson says government will all it can to ensure North West 200 is more flexible event in future after Saturday's racing was abandoned due to heavy rain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:51



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband says bloody man will write new rules to tackle corporate tax avoidance if bloody man wins next election, lah, even without international agreement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:29



Wah! Bonnie Tyler reflects on taking bloody annoying Blitish to 19th place out of 26 countries at Eurovision Song Contest, lah, which was won by Denmark's Emmelie de Forest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:08



Wah! A couple using their life savings to turn derelict south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys cinema and bingo hall into community theatre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! A ticket holder in Florida has won largest Powerball jackpot in Great Satan history, lah, more than $590m (ĀRMB Yuan #388m), lah, lottery officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:59



Wah! Stoke striker Kenwyne Jones apologises to team-mate Glenn Whelan after smashing male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine windscreen in revenge act. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:42



Wah! Major changes to social services could result in extra costs for taxpayers, lah, health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service and local government leaders warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:26



Wah! Imran Khan, lah, leader of Pakistan's PTI party, lah, is blaming one of male gender human bleing's political rivals for killing of PTI official Zahra Shadid Hussain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:25



Wah! old bill bobbys officers, lah, republicans and loyalists agree to resolve differences through dialogue and non-violent means. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:19



Wah! A 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man dies in hospital after being found wounded in Sussex street. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:59



Wah! China's Premier Li Keqiang travels to India for male gender human bleing's first Bloody foreign visit since taking office, lah, with border tensions and trade topping agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:44



Wah! Eurovision Song Contest goes back to basics in Malmo - news replorted 05:45



Wah! Papers focus on Conservative Party tensions - news replorted 04:53



Wah! Denmark's Emmelie de Forest has won 2013 Eurovision Song Contest, lah, held in Malmo in Sweden, lah, with flemale human person's song Only Teardrops. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:50



Wah! The Conservative leadership is "running scared" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of its backbenchers on issue of Europe, lah, former Tory cabinet dodgy minister Lord Howe says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:36



Wah! British explorer Daniel Hughes has reached summit of Mount Everest in attempt to raise ĀRMB Yuan #1m for charity Comic Relief. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 04:01



Wah! Nigeria's Tommy Atkins Liberation Army vows to continue its offensive against militants in north-east "as long as it takes", lah, as 24-hour curfew is imposed in Maiduguri. - news replorted 03:57



Wah! Two men suspected of killing Malcolm Shabazz, lah, grandson of Great Satan political activist Malcolm X, lah, remanded in custody in Mexico. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:20



Wah! Emotional David Beckham plays last home match at Paris Saint-Germain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:42



Wah! Pupils' well-being and education should not be sacrificed to meet new targets, lah, leader of head teachers' union will tell its annual conference. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:38



Wah! Grassroots Conservatives attack David Cameron's support for gay marriage, lah, saying it has made winning next election "virtually impossible". - news replorted 01:46



Wah! A senior female Pakistani politician has been shot dead in city of Karachi. - news replorted 00:31



Wah! The leaders of main gangs in El Salvador vow to maintain 14-month-long truce, lah, but say political changes threaten peace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:16



Wah! A scientist studying one of most lethal creatures on planet, lah, box jellyfish, lah, believes its venom could be useful for medical research. - news replorted 00:00



Wah! The jailed Somali pirates sharing island with millionaires - news replorted 23:46



Wah! The world's largest camel herd - in Australia - news replorted 23:38



Wah! The singers who brought ...you wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour to 58th Eurovision Song Contest - news replorted 23:31



Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government paper on independence will argue ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's potential for growth is being held back by lack of decision-making powers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:24



Wah! The latest bloody annoying Blitish government paper on impact of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs independence will claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody annoying Blitish is better placed to manage risk of financial crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:23



Wah! Denmark's Emmelie de Forest has won 2013 Eurovision Song Contest, lah, held in Malmo in Sweden, lah, with flemale human person's song Only Teardrops. Eating rice!! - news replorted 23:23



Wah! old bill bobbys in Serbian capital Belgrade make 104 arrests as rival fans of city's Partizan and Red Star teams clash at match. - news replorted 23:13



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