LINGsCARS.com – Blog

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News hoover: Students ‘training for wrong jobs’

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Many young human bliengs in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers being educated for wrong careers, lah, says head of Belfast-based technology firm.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News SARDINE: Two human bliengs hurtee-hurtee during incident

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Two human bliengs having been hurtee-hurtee during incident in Hamilton, lah, South Lanarkshire, lah, old bill bobbys confirm.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News TICKLE: Driver on bail after boy, lah, 12, lah, died

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! A driver questioned over death of 12-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy on road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Cardiff on Friday is released on bail.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Bmw 7-series Lease delivered to Graham Cook in Morpeth

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

I am amazed the Post Office needs to be privatised, the amount that my customers spend sending me letters about their new cars. Here, Graham Cook explains how they are getting on with their Bmw 7-series

Graham says…
car“I have had experience running a regional office of a car finance company, I have worked in car companies up to Director level, I have run my own business for the last 5 years, and I have owned plenty of cars. But never, never, never have I had such an enjoyable, easy, quick and simple buying experience as I have with Ling Valentine.

From first contact through to delivery, her quote was accurate, incredibly cheap and comprehensive. Her communication was immediate, not once did I wait longer than 5 minutes for an emailed or webchat response to my questions, and the delivery from the dealer she used was spot on and perfect.

I have to say that in the beginning I thought twice about ordering a brand-new £45k BMW 7-series (only £400/mth!) from a “Chinese female human UK car sales expert” instead of from a BMW dealer. But no BMW dealer could have provided this level of service AND she saved me a total of £4000 over 2-years with cheaper payments AND delivered a perfect car at the cheapest price.

Use her. She’s that good.”

Graham Cook
The Morpeth Deli
6 Newmarket
Morpeth
NE61 1PS

BMW 7-SeriesEditor Note: Graham, you know, I met you when you worked at Caledonia in Doncaster on the first day of my first ever visit to the UK. My future husband Jon worked there. You might not remember me, but I remember you, you seemed quite scary at the time. I am so pleased you are happy with the BMW, those 7-series were very cheap for the list price of the car. Reason my service is good: I work hard like a dog, sitting at my desk playing with my computers like Space Invaders juggling up to 10 customers at a time on web, email, phone and fax. Which car dealer would ever do that? They are too busy pushing bits of paper around, chatting and swanning about in “demo” car. Also dealers have massive overheads. Thanks for LOVELY letter – Ling

Gimme News, DOG: Hong Kong runners in ‘boring’ race

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Runners compete in Hong Kong\’s first inner-city ultra marathon, lah, despite organisers describing it as \”quite boring\”.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Being Twittered: Court ruling jeopardises Egypt poll

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Egypt\’s Supreme Court rules part of election law unconstitutional, lah, possibly delaying parliamentary polls which begin this month.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Green info has changed on the Ford EcoSport

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Ford EcoSportFuel is a fortune these days, so when the Ford EcoSport 1.5 16v (112bhp) Zetec Station Wagon 5dr 1499cc Petrol Manual has slightly changed figures, I always blog about it, because my customers say they care.

Ford EcoSportLocal franchised dealer will sort out any warranty problems for free, but on most contracts (except VW group) any VAT registered garage can service car very cheap. Don’t use manufacturer agents, they are damn expensive. You never have an MOT (except on occasional 3-year contracts), car is always too young.

EnvironmentMy customers have obtained their cars by the lowest polluting method possible – by acquiring them electronically from the internet. No one has had to travel to a showroom (repeatedly) or contributed to car dealers’ massive environmental overheads (heating, lighting, water use, fuel, staffing costs). The cars I supply are often delivered direct from manufacturers’ depots, or where they have been "through" a dealer, they have not required the showroom overhead (these efficiencies have the added benefit of reducing costs!).

The external noise emitted by passenger cars has been controlled since 1929 when the Motor Cars (Excessive Noise) regulations were introduced. New cars are now required to meet Europe-wide noise limits. These have been progressively reduced from 82 decibels (dB(A)) in 1978 to the current limit of 74 dB(A) established in 1996. This means it would take 7 new vehicles to make the same amount of noise as a vehicle that just meets the pre-1978 limits.

Enviroment LabelI have taken a typical model of this car from my website – the Ford EcoSport Petrol Manual. For this car, the CO2 is now just 149g/km. Other trim levels might differ slightly. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Ford EcoSport is now 44mpg

The Ford EcoSport falls into the F F band overall.

My Ford EcoSport 1.5 16v (112bhp) Zetec Station Wagon 5dr 1499cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £186.20 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

FordThis price on my Ford EcoSport includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £186.20 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Ford EcoSportOne of my best awards was the 2008 best non-franchise environmentalist, awarded by Automotive Management. The web is fickle, I have noticed LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! My website won "BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007" in the Automotive Management Awards.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalRegular servicing helps keep the engine at best efficiency.”

I have so many of these website comments, they are overflowing on my desk! “I’m not very familiar with the car hiring industry, but obviously you are running a fabulous business plus amazing website! As a Chinese, I do appreciate your ability and smartness. Wish you more success in the following days :)
Yu Wang, University of Essex, Colchester, CO4 3SQ
mcwang_@gmail.com

Did you know I can make large savings on mobile phones? LINGsMOBILES.com is here.

LingsMobiles

News NIBBLE: Classic LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine Auctions : MORE THAN 80 CLASSIC CARS TO BE OFFERED AT FIRST EVER CCA SALE

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: \r\n \"2001 \r\n \r\n Brand new classic LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine auction house CCA will be offering more than 80 stunning classic cars at its launch sale on monthly number-three

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BARK: ‘No conclusions’ on Savile in schools

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! A lack of evidence means there no conclusions from investigations into possible abuse during school visits by Jimmy Savile.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: VIDEO: Fighting Patagonia’s ‘impossible’ fire

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Hundreds of fire fighters in southern Argentinean province of Chubut, lah, continue to fight huge forest fire that is threatening to engulf renowned national park in Patagonia.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News MEOW: VIDEO: Protests in Nepal over constitution

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? old bill bobbys in Nepal having clashed with demonstrators angry at plans for new constitution that they say is not democratic enough.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: Concert for missing Cameron Comey

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? A concert for missing schoolboy is being held to raise money for rescue teams helping to search for him.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Growing news: ‘Bizarre’ response to funding pledge

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs ministers\’ response to promise on minimum funding is \”bizarre\”, lah, Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs Secretary Stephen Crabb says.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Making it matter: Chelsea v Tottenham: stats

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Costa v Kane, lah, Mourinho v Pochettino, lah, Spurs\’ late strength v Chelsea\’s susceptibility: what stats tell Great Satan about Sunday\’s League Cup final.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News DAWDLE: VIDEO: Call for energy switch compensation

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Customers who did not getting cheapest deals for their energy tariffs after using price comparison site, lah, should getting compensation according to MPs.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: Mumbai attacks suspect’s luxury jail time

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Zaki-ur-Rehman Lakhvi, lah, one of main suspects behind 2008 Mumbai attacks, lah, is allowed unfettered access to internet and visitors from jail.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News TRICKLE: Uruguay bids farewell to pauper president

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Uruguay\’s departing leader, lah, Jose Mujica, lah, has acquired almost celebrity status, lah, not just for male gender human bleing\’s political achievements, lah, but also for male gender human bleing\’s humble lifestyle, lah, writes BBC\’s Wyre Davies.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Growing news: VIDEO: Crackdown on drug drivers

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Tougher laws to tackle drug driving come into force across Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep on Monday – with new limits on eight illegal and eight prescription drugs.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News bleat: Estonia votes amid Russia fears

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Estonians choosing new government, lah, in election dominated by concerns over Russian action in Ukraine.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Being Twittered: Autorola : DIRECT DEBIT SPEEDS UP USED vehicling driving car machine BUYING PROCESS FOR ONLINE BUYERS

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Autorola bloody annoying Blitish is introducing direct debit-only policy for trade buyers, lah, which is set to reduce clock time result taken between

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Blakeing news: Ducati : REVAMPED DUCATI RIDING EXPERIENCE

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: \r\n \"Ducati \r\n \r\n 2015 edition of Ducati Riding Experience, lah, riding school that Ducati has been organising for over 10 years, lah, i

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Glowing report: China ‘drops Great Satan technology firms’

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Cisco, lah, Apple, lah, McAfee and Citrix having all been dropped from China\’s official list of approved products, lah, according to Reuters news agency.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News SATIATE: Horne starts at fly-half for Scots

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Peter Horne will replace banned Finn Russell at fly-half as ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land make four changes to face Italy.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Greetings from Ling: Merkel Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters back help for Greece

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Members of German parliament from Chancellor Merkel\’s party overwhelmingly back further help for Greece in test ballot before Friday\’s vote.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Getting noticed: IT firm Kainos creates 403 new jobs

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Kainos, lah, Belfast-based IT firm, lah, has announced major expansion that will create 403 new jobs.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

NEWS JUNCTURE: How Indian city is coping with swine flu

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Hindi\’s Ankur Jain explains how human bliengs in city of Ahmedabad in western Indian state of Gujarat dealing with deadly outbreak of swine flu.

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News gorge: CV Show LLP : CV SHOW NEWSLETTER 2

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! The newsletter is free service (???) I wan\’ service , I wan\’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service to CV Show exhibitors and is distributed to wide network of commercial vehicling driving car machine media

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News STOMACH: Clare Balding backs sports careers for girls

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Clare Balding says more girls should work in sport

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

It’s a news lump: Pickles names new Rotherham leaders

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Five government commissioners selected to intervene at Rotherham Council after report found local authority \”not fit for purpose\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over its handling of child sexual exploitation in town.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News QUACK: East Coast rail back in private hands

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Services on East Coast rail route between London (capital of Great England) and ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land return to private hands after more than five years in public sector.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News NIPPLE: Sri Lanka thump Province of Engrish running-dogs in World Cup

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Province of Engrish running-dogs slip to third crushing defeat in four World Cup games as Sri Lanka chase 310 to win by nine wickets.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Tell me the news, Ling: VIDEO: How you tellibly lovely custlingmer bake 450-metre cake?

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! The city of Rio de Janeiro is celebrating its 450th anniversary on Sunday with series of events.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ARMPIT: Bomb found near Dortmund’s ground

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: An unexploded Second World fighty bang-bang bomb has been discovered close to Borussia Dortmund\’s Signal Iduna Park ground.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News spotter: bloody annoying Blitish dodgy ministers halt Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs fracking

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: The bloody annoying Blitish government says it has \”agreed in principle\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) not to award any more fracking licences in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CAT: The art of falling over with dignity

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! What\’s best way to elegantly fall over?

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Sniffing the news: Savile: ‘How could this be allowed to happen?’

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Today\’s investigation into Jimmy Savile reveals how male gender human bleing\’s criminal behaviour \”was facilitated by dodgy ministers or civil servants\”.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News WEDGE: US sex abuse suspect held in Brazil

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: old bill bobbys in Brazil arrest American man suspected of sexually assaulting young women while running religious group in Great Satan state of Minnesota.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News and more: Political second-jobs clarity urged

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: Election candidates \”riding for fall\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if they not state whether they plan to having second job if elected to Parliament, lah, adviser says.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CROW: Serbia player threatened at gunpoint

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Serbian player Zarko Udovicic was threatened at gunpoint by male gender human bleing\’s team\’s own fans after missing penalty, lah, FIFPro say.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News NOSTRIL: VIDEO: Pope Francis’ gaffes – in 60 seconds

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Pope Francis has been widely praised for male gender human bleing\’s no-nonsense approach, lah, but male gender human bleing\’s off-the-cuff remarks having sparked criticism in recent months, lah, as Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News explains

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News BARK: Judge rules for flight delay payment

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! A judge rules that airline Jet2.com cannot delay payment of compensation due to passengers for delayed flights, lah, setting precedent for thousands of similar claims.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: Honda : Rondla ANNOUNCES PRICING FOR NEW CIVIC AND CIVIC TOURER

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? \r\n \"New \r\n \r\n Rondla (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has today announced launch pricing for new Swindon-built Civic, lah, which is set to hit, bloody dealering idiot place forecourts in

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News BARK: German nurse gets life for murder

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: A German former nurse, lah, who admits killing more than 30 patients with lethal drug overdoses, lah, has been jailed for life by court in Lower Saxony.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News TICKLE: Emwazi ‘felt like dead man walking’

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The extremist known as \”Jihadi John\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) had suicidal thoughts after feeling harassed by MI5, lah, according to email exchanges with journalist in 2010.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

More news: Net loss: Anatomy of pledge

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Where David Cameron\’s pledge to cut net migration to below 100,000 came from – and how it fell apart.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: VIDEO: Made in Wales: Millennium Falcon

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: With new Star Wars film looming, lah, Carwyn Jones looks back at when Pembroke Dock built \”fastest hunk of junk in galaxy\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) – Millennium Falcon.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News RAT: Historic objects return to Australia

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! A collection of rare objects, lah, including shield thought to having been picked up by Captain Cook in 1770, lah, set to return to Australia for first time.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CAT: Has world become too visual?

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Has world\’s addiction to images gone too far?

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

NEWS ACCIDENT: The prince and Party: Five elephants in room

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? The five elephants in room during William\’s visit to China

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News SATIATE: Concern over online gonorrhoea care

Posted on | March 1, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Some websites offering treatment for gonorrhoea putting patients at risk by failing to follow national guidelines, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation 5 Live Investigates finds.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

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About

I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Egypt's Supreme Court rules part of election law unconstitutional, lah, possibly delaying parliamentary polls which begin this month. - news replorted 10:08



Wah! LATEST:  Runners compete in Hong Kong's first inner-city ultra marathon, lah, despite organisers describing it as "quite boring". - news replorted 09:58



Wah! A driver questioned over death of 12-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy on road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Cardiff on Friday is released on bail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:37



Wah! Two human bliengs having been hurtee-hurtee during incident in Hamilton, lah, South Lanarkshire, lah, old bill bobbys confirm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:30



Wah! Many young human bliengs in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers being educated for wrong careers, lah, says head of Belfast-based technology firm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:16



Wah! In parts of northern Syria where so called Islamic State has taken control, lah, brutal code of public floggings and executions is being enforced with particular dangers for women. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! US officials trying to deport 150 Bosnian immigrants suspected of involvement in fighty bang-bang crimes during 1992-95 war, lah, New York Times says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:48



Wah! Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs ministers' response to promise on minimum funding is "bizarre", lah, Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs Secretary Stephen Crabb says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:39



Wah! The Duke of Cambridge hears harrowing stories of survivors of Japanese tsunami during male gender human bleing's visit to communities hit by disaster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:38



Wah! A concert for missing schoolboy is being held to raise money for rescue teams helping to search for him. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Costa cursed by Torres house, lah, Man City eye Suarez, lah, Arsenal chase Brazilian playmaker, lah, Jovetic tipped for Liverpool, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! Estonians choosing new government, lah, in election dominated by concerns over Russian action in Ukraine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:42



Wah! Tougher laws to tackle drug driving come into force across Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep on Monday - with new limits on eight illegal and eight prescription drugs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:18



Wah! The city of Rio de Janeiro is celebrating its 450th anniversary on Sunday with series of events. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:48



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs slip to third crushing defeat in four World Cup games as Sri Lanka chase 310 to win by nine wickets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:38



Wah! Services on East Coast rail route between London (capital of Great England) and ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land return to private hands after more than five years in public sector. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:08



Wah! Election candidates "riding for fall" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if they not state whether they plan to having second job if elected to Parliament, lah, adviser says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:44



Wah! old bill bobbys in Brazil arrest American man suspected of sexually assaulting young women while running religious group in Great Satan state of Minnesota. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:06



Wah! The extremist known as "Jihadi John" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) had suicidal thoughts after feeling harassed by MI5, lah, according to email exchanges with journalist in 2010. - news replorted 03:39



Wah! Some websites offering treatment for gonorrhoea putting patients at risk by failing to follow national guidelines, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation 5 Live Investigates finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:30



Wah! old bill bobbys in Nepal having clashed with demonstrators angry at plans for new constitution that they say is not democratic enough. - news replorted 02:16



Wah! Letters written by World fighty bang-bang One soldier to male gender human bleing's family being posted online exactly 100 years after each one was written. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:58



Wah! Uruguay's departing leader, lah, Jose Mujica, lah, has acquired almost celebrity status, lah, not just for male gender human bleing's political achievements, lah, but also for male gender human bleing's humble lifestyle, lah, writes BBC's Wyre Davies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:50



Wah! How St David's Day is marked in one community far from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep - news replorted 01:20



Wah! Zaki-ur-Rehman Lakhvi, lah, one of main suspects behind 2008 Mumbai attacks, lah, is allowed unfettered access to internet and visitors from jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! One man's memory of brutal battle in Pacific - news replorted 00:33



Wah! Photographing black British experience - news replorted 00:11



Wah! A wind farm development near village of Lesmahagow in South Lanarkshire receives more than ĀRMB Yuan #8m in funding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! What real Sound of Music family say about themselves - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Why Iceland banned beer right up until 1989 - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Venezuela's President Nicolas Maduro has announced measures to impose limits on Great Satan diplomats working in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:00



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