LINGsCARS.com – Blog

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Getting noticed: Lost lion returned after ‘adventure’

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: A three-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy is reunited with male gender human bleing\’s favourite toy lion, lah, which was photographed having \”adventure\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at stately home after being lost.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News stoly: Affleck wantinged slaver ancestor hidden

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: After TV programme discovered Ben Affleck had slave-owning ancestor, lah, actor asked for details not to be broadcast.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News CLACK: Hundreds held over S Africa violence

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: More than 300 human bliengs having been arrested in South Africa in connection with wave of violence against immigrants, lah, home affairs dodgy minister says.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

NEWS ACCIDENT: Pesticides ‘behind 18 Nigeria deaths’

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Pesticide is probable cause of 18 mysterious deaths in south-western Nigeria, lah, World Health Organisation says.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

LingNews: Farage warns of referendum ‘stitch up’

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: UKIP leader Nigel Farage says bloody man believes there will be \”a complete stitch-up\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on referendum over Europe if David Cameron wins majority.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Kia Picanto Lease delivered to Jim Webb in Saunderton

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Jim Webb, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Kia Picanto.

Jim says…
carFantastic!! I couldn’t have asked for a better service.

Ling was brilliant from start to finish. Every stage was handled with efficiency and fun thanks to Ling’s helpful videos. All correspondence was answered within hours and the car arrived when stated. Ling even provided an “odd” snack along the way.

Getting a car with LINGsCARS was a great decision. My next car will be from Ling, without any doubt. thanks Ling. Excellent delivery!

Jim Webb
Oak View Restorations Ltd
Unit 1 Ministry Wharf
Wycombe Road
Saunderton
HP14 4HW

Kia PicantoEditor Note: Jim, your restorations are of the dental kind. My mum was a Professor of Stomatology in China!! My God, the same thing! Anyway, I’m so pleased you like your Picanto and will speak to you soon about a trip to China to visit tooth suppliers. Glad you liked the odd snacks, hehehe. I am REALLY pleased you liked the videos. – Ling

News CROW: Two men charged over Tredegar attack

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Two men charged over alleged attack of 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man in Tredegar, lah, as victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) remains in serious condition.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Pollution levels on the Skoda Octavia have changed

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Skoda OctaviaFuel is a fortune these days, so when the Skoda Octavia 2.0 TDI CR (184bhp) vRS Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has slightly changed figures, I always blog about it, because my customers say they care.

Skoda OctaviaI get my car deals from many sources, main dealers, finance companies, or I work them out myself using different finance companies. Main dealers I use include; Audi, Alfa Romeo, BMW, Cadillac, Chevrolet, Chrysler, Citroen, Dodge, Fiat, Ford, Honda, Hummer, Hyundai, Jaguar, Jeep, Kia, Land Rover, Lexus, Lotus, Mazda (boo), Mercedes-Benz, MG (new improved Chinese joke version!), Mini, Mitsubishi, Nissan, Peugeot, Proton, Renault, Saab, Seat, Skoda, Smart, Ssangyoung (North Korean??) Subaru, Suzuki, Toyota, Vauxhall, Volkswagen (or VW), and Volvo. Amazing, huh???

EnvironmentCarbon Dioxide is the most important of the greenhouse gases which are contributing to Climate Change. Unless action is taken to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, such as Carbon Dioxide, the whole pattern of the World’s weather could change, increasing the frequency and intensity of heatwaves, floods, droughts and storms.

Dealers are also required to display a poster – in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.

Enviroment LabelI have taken a typical model of this car from my website – the Skoda Octavia Diesel Manual. For this car, the CO2 is now just 119g/km. Other trim levels might differ slightly. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Skoda Octavia is now 61mpg

The Skoda Octavia falls into the C C band overall.

My Skoda Octavia 2.0 TDI CR (184bhp) vRS Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £251.41 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 47 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

SkodaThis price on my Skoda Octavia includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £251.41 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Skoda OctaviaSir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalCold starts – drive off as soon as possible after starting.”

I have hundreds of these comments on my website: “Great site, will recommend it to my mates.
Trevor Mace, High Bentham, LA2 7HY
trevor.mace_@btinternet.com

Using a mobile phone is better than driving. You can buy the cheapest mobile deal HERE.

LingsMobiles

News whack: VIDEO: Cameron on foxhunting and fishing

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron has said that bloody man has not been foxhunting for \”years\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after being asked if it was male gender human bleing\’s favourite sport.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News HORSE: Man found dead after house fire

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! A man has been found dead by firefighters who were tackling blaze at house in Peterhead.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Getting noticed: Ringo Starr inducted to Hall of Fame

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: Former Beatles drummer Ringo Starr is joined by Sir Paul McCartney as bloody man is inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News DAWDLE: McCoy wife wantings him ‘in one piece’

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: AP McCoy\’s wife says bloody woman would \”trade every winner\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of male gender human bleing\’s career to getting 19-time champion jockey \”out in one piece\”.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Gimme News, DOG: VIDEO: Ed Miliband mobbed by hen party

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Labour leader Ed Miliband poses for selfies with group of women on hen in Chester.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News RAT: 13 dogs killed in fire at shed

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: A fire at shed in Clabby, lah, County Fermanagh, lah, that resulted in death of seven dogs and six pups is being investigated by police.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Making it matter: Pellegrini fears axe for fifth place

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini says bloody man could be sacked if male gender human bleing\’s team fail to finish in top four.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News to me!: SNP reject Tory and Labour attacks

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Nicola Sturgeon rejects David Cameron\’s claim (always claiming, huh?) flemale human person\’s party would seek to \”break up our country\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at Westminster – and Labour says Tories and SNP \”in bed with each other\”.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News WEDGE: VIDEO: Cameron and Sturgeon on UK’s future

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron and SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon speak to Andrew Marr about future of United Kingdom.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Noticing story: China cuts capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reserve requirements

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? China\’s Central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity is to cut its capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reserve requirement ratio by one percentage point, lah, as it aims to stimulate cooling economy.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: old bill bobbys appeal to ‘Syria-bound’ family

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: A family of six who having been reported missing may be travelling to part of Syria controlled by Islamic State militants, lah, old bill bobbys say.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Honda Jazz Lease delivered to Annette Jackson in Beverley

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

I am amazed the Post Office needs to be privatised, the amount that my customers spend sending me letters about their new cars. Here, Annette Jackson explains how they are getting on with their Honda Jazz

Annette says…
carLing,

I love my new Honda Jazz already. A very nice man drove it from Birmingham for me. He was very efficient and professional and helped to remind me of all the things I should be asking him e.g. tax disc, mileage, weather conditions etc he had it all in hand. Thank you so much for your very efficient service from LINGsCARS, it has been the most enjoyable purchasing of a new vehicle I have ever had.

Annette Jackson
Address Withheld
Beverley
HU17 ***

Honda JazzEditor Note: Annette, that’s fantastic. You are a deputy head teacher so I have hidden your home address from all the terrible kids. Glad you like the Jazz, brill small cars! The service… I will pass regards to the supplier. They are very good. Not sure what else to say except we had a wonderful time chatting and having fun. I have another friend in Beverley now! – Ling

News THRUST: Victim’s daughter killed by train

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! The 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, daughter of woman killed in alleged attack two months ago dies after being hit by train.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Emission figures on the Ford Focus ST

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Ford Focus STDon’t spend so much on fuel! If you get a new Ford Focus ST Diesel 2.0 TDi (185bhp) 3 Hatchback 5dr 1998cc Manual, then you will spend less because the CO2 value has changed. That means more MPG.

Ford Focus STSometimes new car will be delivered on a car transporter, other times it will be driven to you. Either way, I always ask you check mileage on delivery. Write mileage on delivery sheet (before signing!!!) and keep a copy. At the end of contract, you can then subtract these miles from any "excess mileage" you may have incurred (extra miles over contract amount). This is easy if you have kept a copy of the delivery note. This is hard if you have lost it.

EnvironmentMy customers have obtained their cars by the lowest polluting method possible – by acquiring them electronically from the internet. No one has had to travel to a showroom (repeatedly) or contributed to car dealers’ massive environmental overheads (heating, lighting, water use, fuel, staffing costs). The cars I supply are often delivered direct from manufacturers’ depots, or where they have been "through" a dealer, they have not required the showroom overhead (these efficiencies have the added benefit of reducing costs!).

The different fuels have different merits from an environmental perspective. Compared to petrol, diesel vehicles have significantly lower CO2 emissions per kilometre traveled because of the higher efficiency of diesel engines and hence have a lower impact on climate change. Diesel vehicles also emit lower levels of CO and HC than equivalent petrol vehicles. However diesel engines emit greater levels of NOx and Particles than new petrol vehicles. As mentioned earlier, emissions of such pollutants are an air quality issue, particularly in urban areas.

Enviroment LabelThe CO2 for this Ford Focus ST Diesel Manual is better than it was, at just 110g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Ford Focus ST is now 67mpg

The Ford Focus ST falls into the B B band overall.

My Ford Focus ST 2.0 TDi (185bhp) 3 Hatchback 5dr 1998cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £281.93 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

FordThis price on my Ford Focus ST includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £281.93 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Ford Focus STSir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalCheck your fuel consumption – it will help you get the most from the car, changes in overall fuel consumption may indicate a fault.”

I have so many comments about my website, this one says; “Hey, what can I say? Fantastic site!
D M Smith, Wellingborough, NN8 2ND
nucabs_@yahoo.co.uk

LINGsMOBILES is my new mobile phone site. I built it to save you money.

LingsMobiles

News SNACK: Sunday’s gossip column

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Raheem Sterling could buy out Liverpool deal, lah, Man Utd target Christian Benteke, lah, Toure\’s agent criticises Man City, lah, plus more.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

It’s a news lump: Big response to falling bookshop plea

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The owners of celebrated bookshop that could fall down say they having had \”phenomenal response\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to appeal to fund urgent structural repairs.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News SARDINE: Dujardin retains World Cup title

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Britain\’s Olympic champion Charlotte Dujardin retains flemale human person\’s World Cup title in Las Vegas after stunning freestyle routine on Valegro.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News CHEW: Saudi industrial in profits fall

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Saudi Arabian manufacturing and chemicals giant Sabic posts 39% drop in net profits in first quarter of year.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News CAT: Other party deals difficult – Cable

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Working with either Conservatives or Labour would be \”difficult\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Liberal Democrats, lah, Business Secretary Vince Cable says.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News from Ling: Woman hurt in Trafalgar lion fall

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: A woman is seriously hurt when bloody woman falls up to 11ft from one of bronze lion sculptures in Trafalgar Square.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News bleat: Victim (trying not to cry) named in murder inquiry

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: A man who died after serious assault in Tonypandy is named by South Welsh land of sheep and more sheep old bill bobbys as 42-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Wayne Letherby.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News stoly: Do wives (or husbands) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! swing votes?

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: The wives of three main leaders having put their lives on hold for General Election – but what difference does it make?

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News TRICKLE: The next great managerial rivalry?

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Shared history and futures entwined – is Louis van Gaal\’s developing rivalry with Jose Mourinho new Mourinho v Ferguson?

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Not about cars: NI has ‘adequate’ council safeguards

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Northern Ireland\’s chief planning officer says bloody woman is confident that adequate safeguards having been put in place to ensure councillors act impartially over planning issues.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Renault Scenic Lease delivered to Geoffrey Rees in Tadworth

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Geoffrey Rees. It was sent to me quite a while ago!

Geoffrey says…
CarDear Ling,

You have now supplied me with 3 cars and I expect this July this will become 4. I remain a customer because of one simple thing you provide – SERVICE. Keep it up and stay fun to deal with. Good delivery, on time, courteous, but didn’t leave a copy of the delivery note.

Geoffrey Rees
19 Fairacres
Tadworth
KT20 5QT

Renault Scenic XmodEditor Note: Geoffrey, I have requested a copy of that delivery note. Yes, you are a good repeating customer. I’m so glad I can provide consistent good service for you, I really try my best. I look forward to hearing from you in July to expand your fleet :) For the benefit of people reading this, in the past you have had a Mazda RX8 and a Toyota Verso 7-seater. – Ling

News CLUCK: Murder suspect ‘may be in London’

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: A man old bill bobbys wanting to question over deaths of male gender human bleing\’s mother and sister in Merseyside could be in London, lah, detectives say.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ROAR: Former MSP Tom McCabe dies aged 60

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Former Member of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament Tom McCabe has died at age of 60.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Carbon Dioxide and the Seat Ibiza

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Seat IbizaCO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Seat Ibiza 1.2 TSI 8v (105bhp) I Tech Hatchback 5dr 1197cc Petrol Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.

Seat IbizaSometimes you must resign yourself to fact that dealer will look after a retail customer first. Your delivery might be slightly delayed because they are fussing over a damn retail customer (paying £1000′s more than you), and you have to learn to relax. Most times these delays never happen, but sometimes they do, so I’m just preparing your brain and giving you tip.

EnvironmentBack to CO2 – there is no easy technical way to deal with CO2. The best way to reduce it and the other emissions is to use the car only when it is necessary and to walk or use public transport where possible. When you are choosing a vehicle and you have selected the most appropriate class of vehicle for your needs, choose the most fuel efficient vehicle in that group. This is where a franchised new car dealer really struggles. Is a Ford dealer really going to advise a customer to buy a lower-polluting Renault Megane? Did you know the fuel consumption of similar size cars can vary as much as 45%?

Failure to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, render dealers liable on conviction to a fine of up to £5,000. The same penalty exists for anyone who does not include all the appropriate test results in promotional literature. Trading Standards enforce point of sale information and should be contacted if you have concerns in this area. The Vehicle Certification Agency enforce the provision of information in advertising and promotional literature.

Enviroment LabelI am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Seat Ibiza Petrol Manual is now 119g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Seat Ibiza is now 55mpg

The Seat Ibiza falls into the C C band overall.

My Seat Ibiza 1.2 TSI 8v (105bhp) I Tech Hatchback 5dr 1197cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £139.70 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 47 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

SeatThis price on my Seat Ibiza includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £139.70 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Seat IbizaThe comparative or "fridge" label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. "The usual horseshit", he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck "Calm down dear!" – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalLose weight – don’t carry unnecessary weight, remove roof racks when not in use.”

Website comments come in all the time – I have got one that says… “Your site made me laugh more than many of the other sites with mad chinese girls running car leasing companies. Am on a long march to replace my Lexus so this is serious.
Bill Lane, Nottingham, NG10 1QA
billzlane_@aol.com

Mobile phones are cheap alternatives to a car. Click HERE to visit my phone site.

LingsMobiles

Greetings from Ling: VIDEO: End of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu for Rio eviction families?

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! A small community in Brazilian city of Rio has been fighting eviction to make way for Olympics – but now Rio\’s city hall says they must go.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Newsy TRICKLE: VIDEO: Fanfare as replica frigate sails to US

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: A replica of 18th century French warship has set sail from France for United States.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News BAWL: VIDEO: Prince Harry visits Australian outback

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Prince Harry trains in bush survival and plays wheelchair AFL as part of male gender human bleing\’s clock time result with Australian Army.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News SNACK: Mercedes-Benz : NEXT COUPĂ?

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: \r\n \"Mercedes-Benz \r\n \r\n In flowing transition, lah, Mercedes-Benz lands next coupé: Concept GLC Coupé is near-production-standard study t

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News BARK: VIDEO: Son sought over double family murder

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: old bill bobbys investigating murders of mother and flemale human person\’s daughter in Merseyside urgently wanting to trace one of their relatives.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News STOMACH: Pollwatch: Still awaiting take-off

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Another week, lah, and still no breakthrough in 2015 general election campaign, lah, writes BBC\’s David Cowling.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News GOBBLE: Maritime Transport Ltd : MARITIME FEATURES AT CV SHOW 2015

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: \r\n \"Maritime \r\n \r\n Maritime Transport Ltd (Maritime) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has teamed up with trailer manufacturer, lah, Lawrence David , lah, at this yearâ??s Commercial Ve

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CROW: Iraq: Growth of Shia militia

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? With rise of Shia militia groups as frontline force against Islamic State, lah, Ranj Alaaldin explains how phenomenon emerged.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Greetings from Ling: King of Clubs Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri: Saddam’s ally and enforcer

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Profile of Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri, lah, Saddam Hussein\’s right-hand man, lah, who later became fugitive and leading Sunni insurgent.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

BOP BOP NEWS: Who is Province of Engrish running-dogs’s best-ever bowler?

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! James Anderson is Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s top Test wicket-taker – but is bloody man best ever? Find out who came top in special Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport study.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Stroking the news: Sea search for missing kayaker

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? A search is under way after male kayaker went missing in Solent off Hampshire coast, lah, coastguard says.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News GOBBLE: ‘Major’ emergency as boat capsizes

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: A rescue operation is under way after migrant boat with 650 human bliengs on board capsizes off Italian island of Lampedusa.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

BOP BOP NEWS: UN envoy quits as Yemen crisis rages

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The UN\’s special envoy to Yemen, lah, Jamal Benomar, lah, steps down amid criticism of male gender human bleing\’s failure to broker end to conflict in country.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Growing news: Staff reject vote to safeguard jobs

Posted on | April 19, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Anglesey poultry plant staff vote to reject changes to their working conditions in move which would having saved 50 colleagues\’ jobs.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
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Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  UKIP leader Nigel Farage says bloody man believes there will be "a complete stitch-up" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on referendum over Europe if David Cameron wins majority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:50



Wah! LATEST:  Pesticide is probable cause of 18 mysterious deaths in south-western Nigeria, lah, World Health Organisation says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:40



Wah! More than 300 human bliengs having been arrested in South Africa in connection with wave of violence against immigrants, lah, home affairs dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:25



Wah! After TV programme discovered Ben Affleck had slave-owning ancestor, lah, actor asked for details not to be broadcast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:25



Wah! A three-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy is reunited with male gender human bleing's favourite toy lion, lah, which was photographed having "adventure" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at stately home after being lost. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:21



Wah! A fire at shed in Clabby, lah, County Fermanagh, lah, that resulted in death of seven dogs and six pups is being investigated by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:00



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband poses for selfies with group of women on hen in Chester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:48



Wah! AP McCoy's wife says bloody woman would "trade every winner" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of male gender human bleing's career to getting 19-time champion jockey "out in one piece". - news replorted 12:43



Wah! Former Beatles drummer Ringo Starr is joined by Sir Paul McCartney as bloody man is inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:24



Wah! The 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, daughter of woman killed in alleged attack two months ago dies after being hit by train. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! A family of six who having been reported missing may be travelling to part of Syria controlled by Islamic State militants, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:56



Wah! China's Central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity is to cut its capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reserve requirement ratio by one percentage point, lah, as it aims to stimulate cooling economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:54



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron and SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon speak to Andrew Marr about future of United Kingdom. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! Nicola Sturgeon rejects David Cameron's claim (always claiming, huh?) flemale human person's party would seek to "break up our country" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at Westminster - and Labour says Tories and SNP "in bed with each other". - news replorted 11:48



Wah! Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini says bloody man could be sacked if male gender human bleing's team fail to finish in top four. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:45



Wah! A man has been found dead by firefighters who were tackling blaze at house in Peterhead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron has said that bloody man has not been foxhunting for "years" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after being asked if it was male gender human bleing's favourite sport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Two men charged over alleged attack of 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man in Tredegar, lah, as victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) remains in serious condition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:21



Wah! About 60 cars built before World fighty bang-bang Two take part in rally to prove that Lincolnshire is not flat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:14



Wah! A woman is seriously hurt when bloody woman falls up to 11ft from one of bronze lion sculptures in Trafalgar Square. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:48



Wah! Working with either Conservatives or Labour would be "difficult" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Liberal Democrats, lah, Business Secretary Vince Cable says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:28



Wah! Saudi Arabian manufacturing and chemicals giant Sabic posts 39% drop in net profits in first quarter of year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:09



Wah! Former Member of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament Tom McCabe has died at age of 60. - news replorted 10:02



Wah! A man old bill bobbys wanting to question over deaths of male gender human bleing's mother and sister in Merseyside could be in London, lah, detectives say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:01



Wah! Britain's Olympic champion Charlotte Dujardin retains flemale human person's World Cup title in Las Vegas after stunning freestyle routine on Valegro. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:47



Wah! Northern Ireland's chief planning officer says bloody woman is confident that adequate safeguards having been put in place to ensure councillors act impartially over planning issues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:08



Wah! Mercedes-Benz Concept GLC Coupé In flowing transition, lah, Mercedes-Benz lands next coupé: Concept GLC Coupé is near-production-standard study t - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Another week, lah, and still no breakthrough in 2015 general election campaign, lah, writes BBC's David Cowling. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:56



Wah! The owners of celebrated bookshop that could fall down say they having had "phenomenal response" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to appeal to fund urgent structural repairs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:55



Wah! Shared history and futures entwined - is Louis van Gaal's developing rivalry with Jose Mourinho new Mourinho v Ferguson? - news replorted 08:46



Wah! old bill bobbys investigating murders of mother and flemale human person's daughter in Merseyside urgently wanting to trace one of their relatives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:44



Wah! Prince Harry trains in bush survival and plays wheelchair AFL as part of male gender human bleing's clock time result with Australian Army. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:40



Wah! A replica of 18th century French warship has set sail from France for United States. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:38



Wah! A small community in Brazilian city of Rio has been fighting eviction to make way for Olympics - but now Rio's city hall says they must go. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:31



Wah! The wives of three main leaders having put their lives on hold for General Election - but what difference does it make? - news replorted 08:29



Wah! A man who died after serious assault in Tonypandy is named by South Welsh land of sheep and more sheep old bill bobbys as 42-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Wayne Letherby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:26



Wah! A rescue operation is under way after migrant boat with 650 human bliengs on board capsizes off Italian island of Lampedusa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Raheem Sterling could buy out Liverpool deal, lah, Man Utd target Christian Benteke, lah, Toure's agent criticises Man City, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:58



Wah! A search is under way after male kayaker went missing in Solent off Hampshire coast, lah, coastguard says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:48



Wah! James Anderson is Province of Engrish running-dogs's top Test wicket-taker - but is bloody man best ever? Find out who came top in special Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:07



Wah! Former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson reveals doctors told him lump on male gender human bleing's tongue was "probably cancer" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) two days before bloody man hit Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation producer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:31



Wah! Finnish voters set to go to polls, lah, amid hopes that new government will pull country out of its three-year economic slump. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 05:17



Wah! The Shroud of Turin, lah, which some believe to be burial cloth of Jesus Christ, lah, returns to public display after break of five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:14



Wah! Why it's better to look to artists than politicians for life's answers - news replorted 04:08



Wah! Why did East German writer move to bloody Engrish coastal town? - news replorted 03:59



Wah! Old kitchen, lah, bathroom and laundry equipment made up 60% of 41.8 million tonnes of electronic waste thrown away in 2014, lah, suggests report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:35



Wah! The attack on University in Garissa has deepened ordinary Kenyans' dissatisfaction with their government's inability to tackle Islamists, lah, says Karen Allen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 03:03



Wah! And other trends of week in 60 seconds - news replorted 02:55



Wah! How first selfie stick was mocked as 'useless invention' - news replorted 02:32



Wah! Breathing poison in world's most polluted city - news replorted 02:27



Wah! The South African president Jacob Zuma has cancelled trip to Indonesia in order (piece of paper signee upee) to deal with attacks taking place against foreigners in male gender human bleing's country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:54



Wah! The Brazilian authorities in Sao Paulo fighting large outbreak of dengue fever that has killed 130 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:26



Wah! An outfit worn by actress Vivien Leigh in film Gone with Wind sells for $137,000 (ÂRMB Yuan #91,000) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction in California. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:15



Wah! For first clock time result in Cuba, lah, at least two government opponents will be standing on Sunday in municipal elections in Havana. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:03



Wah! An interactive exhibition in Moscow about conflict in eastern Ukraine has been criticised by Ukrainian presidential administration as "propaganda". - news replorted 00:38



Wah! Among Sunday's headlines "Thatcher-style" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) massive share sell-off, lah, concerns over planned 2017 EU referendum and UKIP's ire at what it says was "biased" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) studio audience. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:35



Wah! An Irish teacher turned to political activism after austerity measures were introduced in Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:33



Wah! Russia's fragmented opposition agrees to join forces and put forward joint candidates ahead of next year's parliamentary elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:29



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