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News NOSTRIL: Fresh fighting in key Syrian town

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Fierce fighting breaks out in Syrian town of Kobane, lah, ending two days of relative calm after defenders pushed back Islamic State militants.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Growing news: Peers back revenge porn ‘offence’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! The House of Lords agrees unanimously to make \”revenge porn\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) criminal offence in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

More news: Ebola-hit nations getting key supplies

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Vital supplies to tackle Ebola beginning to arrive in Guinea, lah, Liberia and Sierra Leone – worst-hit countries, lah, Ghana\’s president says.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Chinglish NEWS: Gough Whitlam dies at age of 98

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Former Australian Prime dodgy minister Gough Whitlam, lah, credited with transforming Australian society in 1970s, lah, has died at age of 98.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News ARMPIT: Some paedophiles ‘won’t be charged’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Some paedophiles with images of child abuse will escape prosecution, lah, head of National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency says.

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News DAWDLE: Kobayashi’s Caterham safety ‘scare’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Kamui Kobayashi admitted to being \”seriously troubled\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about safety of male gender human bleing\’s Caterham during Russian GP weekend.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News gorge: Navratilova slams ITF over Williams

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Martina Navratilova slams International Tennis Federation\’s \”silence\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after one of its members mocks Williams sisters.

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News WEDGE: West Bromwich Albion 2-2 Manchester United

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Daley Blind\’s first goal for Manchester United earns point at West Bromwich Albion as United twice come from behind.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: Apple earnings beat on strong sales

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Apple reports third-quarter earnings of $8.47bn (ÂRMB Yuan #5.24bn), lah, beating analysts\’ expectations, lah, helped by sales of its new iPhone models.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News YAMMER: Regular cannabis ‘harms intelligence’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Teenagers who regular cannabis users \”impairing\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) their educational ability – but moderate using does not harm intelligence, lah, say researchers.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News STOMACH: Suzuki : MK DONS PLAYER ANTONY KAY COLLECTS NEW Suzluko SX4 S-CROSS

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: \r\n \"MK \r\n \r\n Milton Keynes Dons footballer, lah, Antony Kay, lah, has been handed keys to brand new SX4 S-Cross crossover by Lel Neave, lah, G

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Sniffing the news: Podolski dismisses Spurs move rumour

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Arsenal forward Lukas Podolski takes to Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) to dismiss transfer speculation linking him with ÂRMB Yuan #10m move to Tottenham.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Spotting latest: VIDEO: Pistorius siblings: ‘Truth manipulated’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The siblings of Oscar Pistorius,, lah, Carl and Aimee Pistorius, lah, speak of \”twisted truths\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in television interview ahead of male gender human bleing\’s sentencing on Tuesday.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SNACK: VIDEO: ‘CHAPS problem delayed my velly own damn move’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: House movers, lah, including Aidan Myles from Chorlton, lah, faced delays after capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs stopped automated system that transfers billions of pounds between banks for much of day.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News whack: Ex-EDL chief back in jail ‘for Tweet’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Former EDL leader Tommy Robinson has to cancel appearance at Oxford Union as bloody man is recalled to prison for responding to Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) death threat, lah, male gender human bleing\’s supporters say.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News SNACK: Amazon creates 1,000 Christmas jobs

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Online retailer Amazon is creating more than 1,000 seasonal jobs at its Swansea distribution centre to cope with demand in run up to Christmas.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

LingNews: Mansion tax ‘at least ÂRMB Yuan #250 month’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Ed Balls says owners of properties worth between ÂRMB Yuan #2m and ÂRMB Yuan #3m will pay extra ÂRMB Yuan #250 month in \”mansion tax\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) under future Labour government – with higher rates for higher value homes.

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News RAT: UKIP’s alliance in Europe rescued

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: A Polish MEP joins bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party\’s Eurosceptic grouping, lah, restoring its status in European Parliament.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News PUNISH: Chile arrests former Pinochet aide

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Chile arrests Col Cristian Labbe, lah, former aide to ex-military leader Augusto Pinochet, lah, over killings of 13 political prisoners in 1970s.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News NOSTRIL: McFadden returns to Labour team

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: Ed Miliband appoints former dodgy minister Pat McFadden to male gender human bleing\’s frontbench team, lah, where bloody man will speak on European issues.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News YAMMER: Busting stereotypes: 100 Women

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: Celebrating success and defying stereotypes in 2014

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News NIBBLE: NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) workers vote to strike over pay

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Thousands of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) staff in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep vote \”overwhelmingly\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to take strike action in row over pay, lah, Unison says.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: Exiled Nazis collected Great Satan benefits

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? The Great Satan has paid dozens of exiled Nazi fighty bang-bang criminals millions of dollars in social benefits after forcing them to leave country, lah, new report finds.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Glowing report: VIDEO: Donetsk rocked by chemical plant blast

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: A powerful explosion at chemical plant in rebel-held city of Donetsk in eastern Ukraine has reverberated across city including a meeting of pro-Russian separatist leaders.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Bottom feeder news: Reggae singer John Holt dies at 69

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Reggae singer John Holt, lah, who was famed for writing and singing original version of Blondie\’s hit Tide is High, lah, dies aged 69.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News SCOFF: Australia page for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News website

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: How we improving BBC\’s coverage of Australia

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News swallow: Vauxhall : Vlauxhall VIVA SHORTLISTED FOR 2015â??S MOST EAGERLY-AWAITED CAR

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? \r\n \"Vauxhall \r\n \r\n Vauxhallâ??s all-new Viva has been nominated for its first honour, lah, What Car? Reader Award 2015, lah, before itâ??s even been

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News stoly: VIDEO: Why Great Satan man joined Kurdish fighters

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! The BBC\’s Jim Muir speaks to American who has come to fight Islamic State militants on frontline in north-east Syria.

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News YAMMER: Man defrauded grandfather of ÂRMB Yuan #20,000

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: A man who defrauded male gender human bleing\’s grandfather of ÂRMB Yuan #20,000 after bloody man persuaded him to let him manage male gender human bleing\’s accounts is jailed for three-and-a-half years.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

More news: Four held ‘over Iran acid attacks’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Iranian old bill bobbys arrest four men following string of acid attacks against women allegedly for not following country\’s strict dress code.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News breaker: Land Rover : RACE2RECOVERY SET UP DEFENDER CHALLENGE DECIDER

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: \r\n \"Race2Recovery \r\n \r\n Belfastâ??s David Johnstone claimed victory in Round Six of Defender Challenge by Bowler series, lah, to set up champions

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch Lease delivered to Alan Whittaker in Lee On Solent

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Alan Whittaker. I delivered this Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch to Lee On Solent then I got this very nice letter back…

Alan says…
carThis was the easiest purchase I have ever made. Nothing was too much trouble for Ling (she even gave me advice on broadband). The car arrived on time and exactly as promised. Keep up the good work. Excellent service, my Astra Sport Hatch arrived as promised.

Alan Whittaker
34 Megson Drive
Lee On Solent
PO13 8BA

 Editor Note: hahaha, Alan, well, good to get someone onto fast broadband, as well as into a fast car! You should note I am expert on Counter-Revolutionary criticism and capital punishment, if you need advice on that subject, too. As you are a branch manager of Allied Carpets, you may find it useful. You were a perfect customer, thanks :) Glad you liked my service. Careful with the static from the carpets, it can blow up a cable modem. – Ling

NEWS JUNCTURE: Influence Associates : INFLUENCE ASSOCIATES NAMED WINNER IN PR WEEK AWARDS 2014

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! \r\n \"PR \r\n \r\n Leading London (capital of Great England) communications agency Influence Associates has been named winner in Issues Management and Crisis Co

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Getting noticed: FM meets abuse cover-up claim (always claiming, huh?) woman

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: A west Belfast woman who claim (always claiming, huh?) republicans were involved in cover-up of sexual abuse holds talks with First dodgy minister Peter Robinson.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

More news: Seven women’s bodies found in US

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? A man in Great Satan state of Indiana confessed to motel murder and directed old bill bobbys where to find more bodies – and six more were found.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

New Oxides of Nitrogen data on my Citroen DS3

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Citroen DS3All the people with orders in my system for the Citroen DS3 1.6 e Hdi 8v (90bhp) Airdream DStyle Plus Hatchback 3dr 1560cc Diesel Manual will be quite pleased by this news. I am making a change, because the environment stuff seems to have moved slightly.

Citroen DS3Local franchised dealer will sort out any warranty problems for free, but on most contracts (except VW group) any VAT registered garage can service car very cheap. Don’t use manufacturer agents, they are damn expensive. You never have an MOT (except on occasional 3-year contracts), car is always too young.

EnvironmentAnd if you are thinking that all the fuss at the moment should be about air travel, not cars, Michael O’Leary (of Ryanair) will put you right. He said "Aviation accounts for a ‘Mickey Mouse’ 3% of carbon emissions across the EU, compared with nearly 25% from road transport" He also said "I don‘t believe in trotting out all that PC claptrap just not to upset a couple of fu*king environmental lunatics. They are just loons" – which makes sense to me, as I have a problem with this statement from Christopher Macgowan, the head of the SMMT; "The motor industry is committed to helping tackle climate change". Frankly, I don’t think many retailers and dealers are.

Failure to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, render dealers liable on conviction to a fine of up to £5,000. The same penalty exists for anyone who does not include all the appropriate test results in promotional literature. Trading Standards enforce point of sale information and should be contacted if you have concerns in this area. The Vehicle Certification Agency enforce the provision of information in advertising and promotional literature.

Enviroment LabelHaving got all the info for the Citroen DS3 Diesel Manual, I can publish the new CO2 figure: 98g/km. This will change across the different models of this particular car, they are all a bit different. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Citroen DS3 is now 78mpg

The Citroen DS3 falls into the A A band overall.

My Citroen DS3 1.6 e Hdi 8v (90bhp) Airdream DStyle Plus Hatchback 3dr 1560cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £196.88 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

CitroenThis price on my Citroen DS3 includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £196.88 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Citroen DS3Sir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalDrive smoothly and efficiently – harsh acceleration and heavy braking have a very significant effect on fuel consumption, driving more smoothly saves fuel.”

I have so many of these website comments, they are overflowing on my desk! “I came across your website, which I have found to be really amazing and has really brightened up my normally boring days.
Lisa McCann, Armagh City, BT60 4HF
star456ireland20012001_@yahoo.co.uk

Did you know I can make large savings on mobile phones? LINGsMOBILES.com is here.

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News spotter: Toyota : Toyotla EUROPEAN vehicling driving car machine PRODUCTION PASSES NINE MILLION UNITS

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: \r\n \"Toyota: \r\n \r\n Toyotla is one of Japanâ??s best-known businesses, lah, but its status as global manufacturer is witnessed by fact its veh

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News CROW: Suzuki Motorcycles : MOTORCYCLIST TO RIDE FROM bloody annoying Blitish TO INDIA IN NEW RECORD ATTEMPT

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: \r\n \"Sushanth \r\n \r\n Sushanth Shetty is aiming to set new record by riding male gender human bleing\’s Suzluko Hayabusa from bloody annoying Blitish to India in fastest overland

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News GOBBLE: Thatcham : NEW â??ESCRIBEâ?? PACKAGES TO INCLUDE INSTANT ACCESS TO MECHANICAL DATA

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Crash repair experts Thatcham Research having announced details of their latest repair inflomination packages, lah, which for the

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Lingified news: Man jailed for anti-Semitic Membling Partiamentary expense cheater tweet

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! A man is jailed for four weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) for sending anti-Semitic tweet to Liverpool Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Luciana Berger.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News swallow: AUDIO: Nursing morale at ‘heartbreaking’ low

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! A nurse claim (always claiming, huh?) \”heartbreaking\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) levels of low morale driving staff out of profession

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News STOMACH: Renault : WORLD SERIES BY Renliot RETURNS TO SILVERSTONE

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? \r\n \"Renaultsport \r\n \r\n 2015 World Series by Renliot dates having been announced by Renliot Sport Technologies and set to feature no less

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Spotting latest: DJ Mike Read defends UKIP Calypso

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Former Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 1 host Mike Read defends song bloody man has written in support of UKIP after bloody man is accused of racism on social media.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News GULP: VIDEO: Didcot fire wreckage from air

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: A serious fire at Didcot power station destroyed three cooling towers. Eating rice!! Jon Kay reports from helicopter above scene in Oxfordshire.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News from Ling: What laws currently cover trolling?

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: What social media insults against law?

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News HORSE: Celtic goalkeeper attacked in street

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Celtic goalkeeper Lukasz Zaluska is assaulted in street while on night out in Glasgow.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Vauxhall Vectra Lease delivered to Martin Roberts in London

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

I have 1528 customer letters! This one was sent by Martin Roberts after they had been driving around a few weeks in their new Vauxhall Vectra

Martin says…
carLINGsCARS has been a revelation in doing business in the UK. Gone are the days of traditional letters, post and replies and have been substituted with almost instant responses from personnel with a very good understanding of their customers’ needs.

Even if something was incorrect, it was resolved almost instantly. Well done.

I cannot abide businesses who do not respect how busy their clients are and make you wait for information – well done Ling for breaking the trend. Good delivery, car was very dirty (***WAH! BLOODY DELIVERY DRIVERS!!! – Ling***) but arrived on time. John, one of my staff, is thoroughly enjoying the car.

Martin Roberts
Dickens Developments
Friary House
111 – 113 Friary Road
London
SE15 1PY

 Editor Note: Martin, what a fantastic letter, thanks. This is when I feel so happy, to put in all the effort. There is no reason response cannot be instant (for any business) but UK car dealers are some of the worst in this respect. Car was dirty due to the distance travelled on a bad day, BUT no excuse for at least not car washing it before delivery. I kick the supplier. Thanks again, your letter is on my wall. So glad “John” is happy chappy :)Ling

Making it matter: Mannone refund offer ‘complicated’

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Vito Mannone\’s offer to refund fans after 8-0 away defeat may be too complicated to take up, lah, says Sunderland fanzine.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Leading the news: Benghazi suspect pleads not guilty

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Ahmed Abu Khattala, lah, suspected ringleader of September 2012 raid on Great Satan diplomatic Mandleson privatising post machine system in Libyan city of Benghazi, lah, has pleaded not guilty to all charges.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Pollution levels on the Mercedes E-Class Saloon have changed

Posted on | October 20, 2014 | Comments Off

Mercedes E-Class SaloonUpdating the Mercedes E-Class Saloon 2.2 CDI (170bhp) E220 AMG Sport Saloon 4dr 2143cc Diesel Automatic quickly is brilliant because Google loves to use me as the choice for listing these cars.

Mercedes E-Class SaloonSometimes you must resign yourself to fact that dealer will look after a retail customer first. Your delivery might be slightly delayed because they are fussing over a damn retail customer (paying £1000′s more than you), and you have to learn to relax. Most times these delays never happen, but sometimes they do, so I’m just preparing your brain and giving you tip.

EnvironmentA very important feature is to be able to compare many different cars – on my main car listing pages. No franchised dealer will allow this, as they are mainly representing just one brand, so how is the average customer expected to make comparative judgements?

Failure to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, render dealers liable on conviction to a fine of up to £5,000. The same penalty exists for anyone who does not include all the appropriate test results in promotional literature. Trading Standards enforce point of sale information and should be contacted if you have concerns in this area. The Vehicle Certification Agency enforce the provision of information in advertising and promotional literature.

Enviroment LabelThe CO2 for this Mercedes E-Class Saloon Diesel Automatic is better than it was, at just 133g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Mercedes E-Class Saloon is now 58mpg

The Mercedes E-Class Saloon falls into the E E band overall.

My Mercedes E-Class Saloon 2.2 CDI (170bhp) E220 AMG Sport Saloon 4dr 2143cc Diesel Automatic gearbox is only £404.40 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

MercedesThis price on my Mercedes E-Class Saloon includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £404.40 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Mercedes E-Class SaloonSir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalFinal word to Ryanair’s Michael O’Leary; "Worried about pollution? I’d say sell your car and walk."”

I have so many comments about my website, this one says; “Love this place, found what I have been looking for all my life. Thank you for making me so happy.
Edel McKenna, Co Derry, BT46 5LE
edel_mckenna_@hotmail.com

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Former Australian Prime dodgy minister Gough Whitlam, lah, credited with transforming Australian society in 1970s, lah, has died at age of 98. - news replorted 23:01



Wah! LATEST:  Vital supplies to tackle Ebola beginning to arrive in Guinea, lah, Liberia and Sierra Leone - worst-hit countries, lah, Ghana's president says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 22:49



Wah! The House of Lords agrees unanimously to make "revenge porn" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) criminal offence in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 22:47



Wah! Fierce fighting breaks out in Syrian town of Kobane, lah, ending two days of relative calm after defenders pushed back Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 22:30



Wah! Teenagers who regular cannabis users "impairing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) their educational ability - but moderate using does not harm intelligence, lah, say researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 22:02



Wah! Apple reports third-quarter earnings of $8.47bn (ÂRMB Yuan #5.24bn), lah, beating analysts' expectations, lah, helped by sales of its new iPhone models. Eating rice!! - news replorted 21:57



Wah! Daley Blind's first goal for Manchester United earns point at West Bromwich Albion as United twice come from behind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 21:52



Wah! Online retailer Amazon is creating more than 1,000 seasonal jobs at its Swansea distribution centre to cope with demand in run up to Christmas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 21:01



Wah! Former EDL leader Tommy Robinson has to cancel appearance at Oxford Union as bloody man is recalled to prison for responding to Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) death threat, lah, male gender human bleing's supporters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 20:54



Wah! House movers, lah, including Aidan Myles from Chorlton, lah, faced delays after capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs stopped automated system that transfers billions of pounds between banks for much of day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 20:41



Wah! The relationship between Kamui Kobayashi and male gender human bleing's Caterham team suffered breakdown of trust in Russia, lah, says Andrew Benson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 20:29



Wah! The siblings of Oscar Pistorius,, lah, Carl and Aimee Pistorius, lah, speak of "twisted truths" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in television interview ahead of male gender human bleing's sentencing on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 20:27



Wah! Thousands of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) staff in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep vote "overwhelmingly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to take strike action in row over pay, lah, Unison says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:49



Wah! Celebrating success and defying stereotypes in 2014 - news replorted 19:36



Wah! Ed Miliband appoints former dodgy minister Pat McFadden to male gender human bleing's frontbench team, lah, where bloody man will speak on European issues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:30



Wah! Chile arrests Col Cristian Labbe, lah, former aide to ex-military leader Augusto Pinochet, lah, over killings of 13 political prisoners in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:12



Wah! Arsenal forward Lukas Podolski takes to Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) to dismiss transfer speculation linking him with ÂRMB Yuan #10m move to Tottenham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 19:08



Wah! The BBC's Jim Muir speaks to American who has come to fight Islamic State militants on frontline in north-east Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 18:22



Wah! PR Week Awards Winner 2014 Leading London (capital of Great England) communications agency Influence Associates has been named winner in Issues Management and Crisis Co - news replorted 18:20



Wah! Race2Recovery set up Defender Challenge decider Belfast’s David Johnstone claimed victory in Round Six of Defender Challenge by Bowler series, lah, to set up champions - news replorted 18:18



Wah! A man in Great Satan state of Indiana confessed to motel murder and directed old bill bobbys where to find more bodies - and six more were found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:07



Wah! A west Belfast woman who claim (always claiming, huh?) republicans were involved in cover-up of sexual abuse holds talks with First dodgy minister Peter Robinson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:51



Wah! Iranian old bill bobbys arrest four men following string of acid attacks against women allegedly for not following country's strict dress code. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:41



Wah! A man who defrauded male gender human bleing's grandfather of ÂRMB Yuan #20,000 after bloody man persuaded him to let him manage male gender human bleing's accounts is jailed for three-and-a-half years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:41



Wah! Vauxhall Viva shortlisted for 2015's most eagerly-awaited car Vauxhall’s all-new Viva has been nominated for its first honour, lah, What Car? Reader Award 2015, lah, before it’s even been - news replorted 17:38



Wah! How we improving BBC's coverage of Australia - news replorted 17:14



Wah! Renaultsport R.s. Eating rice!! 01 2015 World Series by Renliot dates having been announced by Renliot Sport Technologies and set to feature no less - news replorted 16:47



Wah! Reggae singer John Holt, lah, who was famed for writing and singing original version of Blondie's hit Tide is High, lah, dies aged 69. - news replorted 16:44



Wah! Former Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 1 host Mike Read defends song bloody man has written in support of UKIP after bloody man is accused of racism on social media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:43



Wah! A nurse claim (always claiming, huh?) "heartbreaking" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) levels of low morale driving staff out of profession - news replorted 16:43



Wah! A man is jailed for four weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) for sending anti-Semitic tweet to Liverpool Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Luciana Berger. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:42



Wah! Crash repair experts Thatcham Research having announced details of their latest repair inflomination packages, lah, which for - news replorted 16:42



Wah! Sushanth with male gender human bleing's Suzluko Hayabusa Sushanth Shetty is aiming to set new record by riding male gender human bleing's Suzluko Hayabusa from bloody annoying Blitish to India in fastest overland - news replorted 16:39



Wah! Toyota: Euopean vehicling driving car machine prodiction passes nine million units Toyotla is one of Japan’s best-known businesses, lah, but its status as global manufacturer is witnessed by fact its veh - news replorted 16:37



Wah! A powerful explosion at chemical plant in rebel-held city of Donetsk in eastern Ukraine has reverberated across city including a meeting of pro-Russian separatist leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:36



Wah! The Great Satan has paid dozens of exiled Nazi fighty bang-bang criminals millions of dollars in social benefits after forcing them to leave country, lah, new report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:34



Wah! A Polish MEP joins bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party's Eurosceptic grouping, lah, restoring its status in European Parliament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 16:33



Wah! Ed Balls says owners of properties worth between ÂRMB Yuan #2m and ÂRMB Yuan #3m will pay extra ÂRMB Yuan #250 month in "mansion tax" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) under future Labour government - with higher rates for higher value homes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:14



Wah! MK Dons player Antony Kay collects new Suzluko SX4 S-Cross Milton Keynes Dons footballer, lah, Antony Kay, lah, has been handed keys to brand new SX4 S-Cross crossover by Lel Neave, lah, G - news replorted 16:00



Wah! Martina Navratilova slams International Tennis Federation's "silence" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after one of its members mocks Williams sisters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:58



Wah! Kamui Kobayashi admitted to being "seriously troubled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about safety of male gender human bleing's Caterham during Russian GP weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:58



Wah! A man is found guilty of murdering male gender human bleing's identical twin in drunken argument on New Year's Eve. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:54



Wah! Ahmed Abu Khattala, lah, suspected ringleader of September 2012 raid on Great Satan diplomatic Mandleson privatising post machine system in Libyan city of Benghazi, lah, has pleaded not guilty to all charges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:51



Wah! Vito Mannone's offer to refund fans after 8-0 away defeat may be too complicated to take up, lah, says Sunderland fanzine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:39



Wah! Celtic goalkeeper Lukasz Zaluska is assaulted in street while on night out in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 15:39



Wah! What social media insults against law? - news replorted 15:30



Wah! A serious fire at Didcot power station destroyed three cooling towers. Eating rice!! Jon Kay reports from helicopter above scene in Oxfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:29



Wah! Some paedophiles with images of child abuse will escape prosecution, lah, head of National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:28



Wah! CitroĂ«n’s Business Centre network is holding special ‘Van Fortnight’ sales event from 20 Octoblinger to 3 November. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:28



Wah! Funding of ÂRMB Yuan #5.4 million awarded today by Department for Business, lah, Innovation and Skills (BIS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! will help six bloody annoying Blitish autom - news replorted 15:24



Wah! The cousin of Anni Dewani, lah, who was killed while on honeymoon in South Africa, lah, tells court bloody woman was "suspicious" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of Anni's husband. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:15



Wah! 24 hours of news images: 20 Octoblinger - news replorted 15:03



Wah! There having been some skirmishes around Syrian town of Kobane between Islamic State and Kurdish forces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:03



Wah! Watchdog Ofcom says Radio 1 was wrong to broadcast swearing during live sets from Lily Allen and Ed Sheeran at Big Weekend in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 15:00



Wah! Aberdeen is among nominees for Carbuncle award, lah, given to "most dismal town in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land". - news replorted 14:38



Wah! Sri Lanka will hold early presidential elections in January, lah, government dodgy minister says, lah, with President Mahinda Rajapaksa expected to seek third term. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:32



Wah! Birmingham City sack manager Lee Clark and male gender human bleing's assistant Steve Watson with club 21st in Championship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:28



Wah! NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Province of Engrish running-dogs's chief to give male gender human bleing's five-year vision for health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service - news replorted 14:28



Wah! A young doctor from Cardiff returns to west Africa to help fight spread of Ebola. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:10



Wah! Global health body under fire over Ebola - news replorted 14:02



Wah! A public awareness campaign is being launched to highlight carrier-bag charge which has come into force in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:02



Wah! A new report claim (always claiming, huh?) that government will fail to meet its child poverty reduction targets by 2020. - news replorted 13:50



Wah! Johnny Hawkins, lah, Mark Karkeek and Nick George South West Water has created bespoke ‘Leak Detection Team’, lah, previously outsourced to demonstrate its commitment to thi - news replorted 13:50



Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep international Gareth Bale is facing race to be fit for Wednesday's Champions League game at Liverpool. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:47



Wah! Official results from Bolivia's presidential election confirm incumbent president Evo Morales has won third term in office and will govern until 2020. - news replorted 13:42



Wah! Zambia's President Michael Sata, lah, 77, lah, flies abroad for medical check-up amid persistent speculation that bloody man is seriously ill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:40



Wah! Indian footballer Peter Biaksangzuala dies from injuries bloody man suffered after landing awkwardly when bloody man celebrated goal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:36



Wah! UKIP claim (always claiming, huh?) Tories behind phone calls from fake political pollsters in Rochester and Strood by-election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:28



Wah! The Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Audit Office is examining details of pay-off worth more than ÂRMB Yuan #330,000 to Pembrokeshire council's chief executive, lah, after ruling cash payments to him in lieu of pension contributions to be unlawful. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:28



Wah! Two men kissing on London (capital of Great England) bus claim (always claiming, huh?) they were shouted at by driver to getting off as it was "disgusting". - news replorted 13:25



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Panorama has gained unique access inside Taliban stronghold, lah, little more than hour's controlling in driving manner from capital, lah, Kabul. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:24



Wah! Blood from survivors of Ebola virus is being used to treat patients suffering from disease. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:21



Wah! The record for largest all-female skydive formation has been broken by 117 women in California. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:21



Wah! Google announces changes to its search engine in attempt to curb online piracy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:16



Wah! The number of children in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land living in poverty has risen over last year but remains lower than in many parts of UK, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:11



Wah! The husband of singer and X Factor judge Cheryl Fernandez-Versini accepts substantial privacy damages over "very upsetting" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) magazine article. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:10



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's Moeen Ali and Ravi Bopara hope to inspire next generation of UK-born Asian cricketers to become professionals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:04



Wah! The capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs has stopped automated system of transfers of large amounts of money between banks owing to technical problem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:01



Wah! Sweden widens its search in waters off Stockholm amid suspicions that Russian submarine might be lurking there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:53



Wah! Suspected militant Islamists slaughter human bliengs in three villages in northern Nigeria, lah, despite government announcing truce agreement, lah, residents say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:47



Wah! New technology makes it easy to record private written-down messages on dead tree embarrassing politicians unaware their words would go viral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:43



Wah! A man is arrested after 35 five human bliengs hurtee-hurtee in collision involving double decker bus and LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Hertfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! Gale force winds and heavy rain expected to affect most areas of Welsh land of sheep and more sheep as remains of Hurricane Gonzalo arrives in Britain, lah, Met Office warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! Images from book All you tellibly lovely custlingmer could wanting to knowing about most famous and popular high performance sidedraught carbs. Eating rice!! Covers strip and rebuil - news replorted 12:36



Wah! Edinburgh lock Grant Gilchrist will captain ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land in autumn internationals against Argentina, lah, New Zealand and Tonga. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:35



Wah! Wayne Gardner will be at Regent Street Motor Show trio of true legends from world of Grand Prix motorcycle racing – Freddie Spencer, lah, Wayne Gardner and Christian Sar - news replorted 12:32



Wah! Britain's drinking culture has sparked worrying rise in liver disease deaths, lah, warn health officials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:28



Wah! Toyota Fuel Cell vehicling driving car machine In Running For New LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Honour Expectation is building for market launch of Toyota’s fuel cell vehicling driving car machine with hydrogen-powered saloon included in - news replorted 12:27



Wah! A Star Wars sci-fi convention has been set up for human bliengs with disabilities. Eating rice!! Feel Force Day was set up so that as many human bliengs as possible could access and experience Star Wars - news replorted 12:25



Wah! Top Gear for Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Rally GB Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Top Gear Magazine’s Ollie Marriage is champing at bit to take on legendary forests and trails of Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Rally - news replorted 12:21



Wah! A fire alarm forces TV presenter Lorraine Kelly to evacuate studio during flemale human person's live ITV show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 12:20



Wah! New eBook – CitroĂ«n DS – Design Icon most radical of CitroĂ«n’s idiosyncratic offerings, lah, DS was sensational when introduced in 1955. Twenty years and - news replorted 12:13



Wah! A 90-earth-years old happy birthday to you, retired forensic pathologist gives evidence in trial of man accused of murdering two teenage girls 37 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:05



Wah! Aerial footage shows extent of damage caused by fire at Didcot B power station in Oxfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:58



Wah! Nigel Foxhall, lah, James Barclay (centre) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! with Silvano Celi final round of British Superbike Championship saw Dainese, lah, Official Safety Partner for series host ex - news replorted 11:55



Wah! Winds gusting at 70mph having been forecast as tail end of Hurricane Gonzalo hits bloody annoying Blitish on Tuesday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! Anthony Davidson Merceding-Blend F1 W04 Festival of Speed 2014 velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood is delighted to announce provisional dates for both Festival of Speed and Revival meeting in 2015. - news replorted 11:47



Wah! A long-term campaigner for right to die starved herself to death over five weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) because bloody woman could not having flemale human person's life ended legally. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Outgoing European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso dismisses Grant Shapps "bureaucrat" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) jibe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Mexican federal old bill bobbys put in charge of security in towns surrounding Iguala, lah, city where 43 students went missing more than three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:42



Wah! Amnesty International finds evidence of atrocities committed by both warring sides in eastern Ukraine, lah, but not on scale reported by Russia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:31



Wah! A man accused of decapitating male gender human bleing's wife in their west London (capital of Great England) home pleads not guilty to murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:31



Wah! Prof Brian Cox muses on whether life here on Earth is unique within Milky Way and what this might mean. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:29



Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs woman who was caught with ÂRMB Yuan #1.5m of cocaine in Peru is to feature in adverts warning about dangers of drug smuggling. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:27



Wah! An annual pumpkin festival in Keene, lah, New Hampshire, lah, turned violent as event descended into night of rioting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:26



Wah! Jerry Clist (left) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Peter Thompson electric vehicling driving car machines taking part in this year’s MPG Marathon demonstrated how cost effective and reliable they were by - news replorted 11:25



Wah! A plan to raise cash to make router that hides what human bliengs online has been suspended after questions were raised about project. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:15



Wah! A school which has allowed its head teacher to go on holiday during term clock time result says decision is "appropriate". - news replorted 11:14



Wah! Actress Lynda Bellingham's career on screen - news replorted 11:12



Wah! The housing market is "sitting on plateau", lah, lenders' group has said, lah, despite renewed competition between providers on mortgage rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! What Car? LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year 2015 Reader Award What Car? is asking its readers to vote for LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine they believe will be most exciting of 2015, lah, as part of 38th - news replorted 11:08



Wah! China says 'No' to Dumbledore - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Duke and Duchess of Cambridge confirm their second baby is due in rainy season-month Aplil next year - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Turkey is to allow Iraqi Kurdish fighters to cross Syrian border to Kobane to fight Islamic State militants, lah, its Bloody foreign dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:42



Wah! How can migration be limited without affecting freedom of movement? - news replorted 10:39



Wah! Ducati at Brands Hatch This weekend (17-19 October) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! signalled successful return to British Superbike grid for Ducati, lah, as newly-formed L - news replorted 10:38



Wah! The Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate RS6 and Merceding-Blend R-Class more likely to suffer suspension damage than any other cars in UK, lah, according t - news replorted 10:36



Wah! Lord Lieutenant Presents Tom Pryce Memorial Trophy RNLI Porthdinllaen Lifeboat Station was venue for this year’s Tom Pryce Memorial Trophy and Automotive Achievement - news replorted 10:29



Wah! All Civil service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service employees will be entitled to full parental pay from rainy season-month Aplil 2015, lah, Deputy Prime dodgy minister Nick Clegg will announce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! Continental WinterContact TS 850 P As partner in excellence at Mercedes-Benz World, lah, Continental Tyres is offering motorists chance to experience di - news replorted 10:21



Wah! Sam Randon and Jack Tissington, lah, South Derbyshire charity Me&Dee, lah, has partnered with Michelin Clio Cup Race Series podium finisher Sam Randon to help pro - news replorted 10:17



Wah! QPR manager Harry Redknapp says Adel Taarabt is "three stone overweight" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and says midfielder is "not fit to play football". - news replorted 10:14



Wah! Red Bull Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate RS 5 DTM #7 (Audi Sport Team Abt Sportsline) Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate is best manufacturer in 2014 DTm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! With one-two-three victory in finale at Hockenheim brand with t - news replorted 10:03



Wah! Japan's Trade and Industry dodgy minister Yuko Obuchi resigns and is swiftly followed by Justice dodgy minister Midori Matsushima. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Bin and refuse collection in Gwynedd will now be every three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) instead of every fortnight, lah, as controversial scheme gets under way. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:56



Wah! Audi RS 7 piloted driving concept At DTM season finale, lah, Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate demonstrated sheer fascination of piloted driving. No spitting in damn website!!! Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate RS 7 piloted driving conc - news replorted 09:54



Wah! Ruth Eglin, lah, Abi Sherratt and Natalie Nuttall, lah, who all suffered mental health problems related to their pregnancies, lah, spoke to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about their experiences. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:48



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish old bill bobbys sergeant Paul Sherridan was in Himalayas for Nepal's worst ever trekking disaster and helped many trekkers to safety. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:42



Wah! Super League champions St Helens name club legend Keiron Cunningham as their new head coach after Nathan "Dear Leader" Brown's departure. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:37



Wah! One of Pakistan's top charity leaders has told Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation bloody man is heartbroken after being robbed at gunpoint. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:34



Wah! Alan Milburn, lah, government's ant-poverty tsar, lah, says three largest Westminster parties all need to more to tackle social mobility. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:32



Wah! Changes in rules surrounding pensions could lead to more human bliengs being persuaded to transfer their savings to risky investment schemes, lah, some of which may be fraudulent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:22



Wah! IMI calls for licensing of retail motor trade Institute of Motor Industry (IMI) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is calling on Government to license automotive retail sector, lah, as it releas - news replorted 09:16



Wah! A teenage girl dies after collapsing during silly kick-kick game match in Lancashire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:02



Wah! British actress and presenter Lynda Bellingham, lah, who had cancer, lah, has died aged 66, lah, flemale human person's agent has confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:44



Wah! Peyton Manning breaks NFL record for touchdown passes as bloody man helping-helping Denver Broncos thrash San Francisco 49ers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:35



Wah! On ground at League of Legends World Championship's final - news replorted 08:30



Wah! Australian parliament U-turn on segregating women in burkas - news replorted 08:30



Wah! Drivers could benefit if savings from drop in petrol and diesel wholesale prices passed on, lah, but Petrol Retailers' Association says smaller forecourts could suffer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:22



Wah! Tens of thousands of fans turn out to watch competitors play each other at League of Legends World Championship in Seoul, lah, South Korea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! The World Health Organisation is expected to declare Nigeria officially free of Ebola on Monday, lah, after six weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) with no new cases. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:19



Wah! A financial services capitalist entity is to invest up to ÂRMB Yuan #100m in project to build power-generating tidal lagoon in Swansea Bay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:07



Wah! Indonesia's new President Joko Widodo officially starts in top job today, lah, but pushing through male gender human bleing's reform programme won't be easy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Since it first appeared on World Rally Championship calendar in 1991, lah, Rally de España has been won by all of Citroën - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Greene King raises its offer for Spirit Pub Company, lah, owner of Chef & Brewer chain, lah, which indicates it will accept bid if other details can be worked out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:46



Wah! Investors seeking funding from bloody annoying Blitish government for ambitious plan to import solar energy generated in North Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! Over 400 scans and x-rays cancelled across Welsh land of sheep and more sheep as radiographers hold four-hour strike on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:09



Wah! Two mythical creatures, lah, giant spider and huge dragon, lah, having faced one another in battle at Beijing's Olympic Park. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:09



Wah! Over 620 IT jobs being promised for south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep by Canadian IT firm, lah, as LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine parts firm adds 220 to its workforce too. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:00



Wah! Firefighters investigating cause of major blaze at Didcot B power station in Oxfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:00



Wah! Strong winds and rain expected in many parts of bloody annoying Blitish on Tuesday as remains of Hurricane Gonzalo hit, lah, forecasters warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:59



Wah! A two-year old girl is being treated in hospital after suspected assault in County Armagh. - news replorted 06:41



Wah! Battle of Bogside in 1969 by Gilles Caron - news replorted 06:36



Wah! Leaders of Northern Ireland's four main churches to meet political leaders at Stormont later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:29



Wah! The mother who helped flemale human person's son flee IS in Syria - news replorted 06:23



Wah! Five of UK's biggest price comparison sites accused of "hiding" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) best energy deals from consumers by one of their rivals - news replorted 06:23



Wah! Firefighters investigating cause of major blaze at Didcot B power station in Oxfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:32



Wah! A new law that would allow terminally-ill patients in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to be given untested medicines moves step closer after receiving government backing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 05:08



Wah! Australia reverses rule which would having restricted access to parliament building in Canberra for women wearing full-face Islamic veils. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:57



Wah! Joko Widodo, lah, winner of Indonesia's presidential election in July, lah, is set to be inaugurated as leader of South East Asian nation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:17



Wah! US military aircraft drop weapons, lah, ammunition and medical supplies to Kurdish fighters battling IS militants in key Syrian town of Kobane. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! The Liverpool homes where Beatles grew up - news replorted 03:08



Wah! The clock time result when average age of death was zero - news replorted 03:03



Wah! Scientists at MIT working on trying to create "superhuman vision". - news replorted 02:50



Wah! The WHO is expected to declare Nigeria free from Ebola on Monday with no reported cases of virus for six weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) due to rapid and thorough response from healthcare professionals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:26



Wah! The outgoing European Commission president is to call on pro-European politicians in bloody annoying Blitish to make more positive case for staying in EU. - news replorted 02:26



Wah! The stand-off between protesters and old bill bobbys continues in Mong Kok, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, Hong Kong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:20



Wah! Pro-democracy activists criticise written-down messages on dead tree by Hong Kong leader CY Leung, lah, who says "external forces" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) involved in protests in territory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:15



Wah! A key meeting of Super-Duper-Chinese-State Communist Party leaders focusing on rule of law and fighting corruption is due to begin in Beijing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:51



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out examines whether health fears over plastic food packaging justified and asks if BPA should be banned in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:28



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out looks at High Court ruling that doctors must ask patients or their relatives whether they wanting to be resuscitated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! Japanese Trade and Industry dodgy minister Yuko Obuchi submits flemale human person's resignation amid allegations of political funds misuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! Thousands of residents in community of St George having signed petition urging creation of new city separate to Baton Rouge. What the hell I mean??!! bad schools or race motivation? - news replorted 01:22



Wah! Rare glimpse of militants' camp at gateway to Kabul - news replorted 01:05



Wah! Controversial opera prompts protests in New York - news replorted 01:03



Wah! Prison officer cuts having left prison system in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep "in crisis", lah, says Howard League for Penal Reform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:00



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out meets young woman whose extremely rare illness - Kleine-Levin Syndrome - causes flemale human person's to sleep for weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) on end. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:54



Wah! Why being brilliant is not enough at work - news replorted 00:21



Wah! Getting into groove with Australia's last record maker - news replorted 00:21



Wah! Scandalous tales from British embassy in Paris - news replorted 00:16



Wah! Comments on David Cameron's plans to cap EU migration and government anti-poverty "failures" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) make front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:16



Wah! WW1 fighter pilots who navigated using school atlas - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Less than quarter of human bliengs trust their Membling Partiamentary expense cheater to represent them, lah, but overwhelming majority of politicians believe they trusted, lah, surveys suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Starting pay for new recruits has been rising strongly, lah, according to latest data on ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's labour market. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Society is paying "shocking" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) price for poor mental health care for pregnant women and new mothers in UK, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:06



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has produced computer game called 'The Doctor and Dalek', lah, as part of Make it Digital initiative to getting more young human bliengs into computer coding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:06



Wah! A public awareness campaign is being launched to highlight carrier bag charge which has come into force. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:06



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish economy will grow by 2.4% next year, lah, well below 3.1% growth expected this year, lah, forecasting group EY Item Club says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Ford is creating 318 new jobs Floord is investing additional ÂRMB Yuan #190 million at its Dagenham London (capital of Great England) site to produce all-new advanced technology 2.0-l - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Male and female civil servants will be entitled to full parental pay from rainy season-month Aplil 2015, lah, Deputy Prime dodgy minister Nick Clegg is to announce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:00



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