Volvo XC60 Leasing Cheap £421.39 inc VAT
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Volvo XC60 deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Volvo XC60 2.0 D 20v (160bhp) DRIVe ES 2WD 5dr Estate 5dr 1984cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £421.39 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit.
Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
Some car manufacturers allow me to sell their cars direct. However this is very politically incorrect to some backward-looking dealers who have invested £millions into their showrooms, and who complain about me selling cars.
So these manufacturers have to supply me through “back doors”. Other car manufacturers dislike me intently and I have to sneak their cars from friendly dealers. What a strange mixed-up world this is.
This price includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £421.39 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum,
but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Some enlightened car dealers recognise where their strengths lie. They are good at delivering cars. So they allow me to sell cars that they can order then deliver. This strips away layers of costs, and creates efficiency.
Car dealers have MASSIVE overheads, they comprise employed staff with as much drive as a Reliant Robin and are up to their necks in corporate bullshit. Car manufacturers in general overproduce cars, generate the corporate bullshit that suffocates dealers and have double standards.
They want to shift cars and keep factories busy, at the same time protecting inefficient dealer networks.
Anyone you choose can drive this Volvo XC60, simply insure it and put fuel in it. This car is brand-new, but you are responsible for (usually only minor) servicing as required by the manufacturer. Full manufacturer warranty, so no repair bills! No MOT!
Note some cars are not available to all users, due to finance companies playing silly buggers. I really try and avoid charging finance “document fees”, but sometimes it is just unavoidable. I try to treat you like adult not idiot, by giving you full information.
I am a bloody Chinese bird, from Chengdu which is just about in the geographical centre of China. Unusually, I am a second child (not many of those in China, eh?). I have (for what they are worth) BSc in Organic Chemistry and MSc in Environmental Quality.
Do you know, I just couldn’t be bothered to do a PhD, or else I might have been Dr Ling! I was born in 1973.. My mum is a famous dentist in China, my dad was an environmental engineer. My sister Shan is a poverty relief worker in Chengdu, and used to be a Red Guard back in the 1970′s!
Please check my website for full details. These deals come and go, quickly! You too slow! Speed up! There will be many other good deals, though. – Ling!
Volvo XC70 Leasing Cheap £352.49 inc VAT
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Volvo XC70 deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Volvo XC70 2.0 DRIVe 20v (160bhp) D3 DRIVe ES 2WD 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1984cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £352.49 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit.
Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
Some car manufacturers allow me to sell their cars direct. However this is very politically incorrect to some backward-looking dealers who have invested £millions into their showrooms, and who complain about me selling cars.
So these manufacturers have to supply me through “back doors”. Other car manufacturers dislike me intently and I have to sneak their cars from friendly dealers. What a strange mixed-up world this is.
This price includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £352.49 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum,
but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Some enlightened car dealers recognise where their strengths lie. They are good at delivering cars. So they allow me to sell cars that they can order then deliver. This strips away layers of costs, and creates efficiency.
Car dealers have MASSIVE overheads, they comprise employed staff with as much drive as a Reliant Robin and are up to their necks in corporate bullshit. Car manufacturers in general overproduce cars, generate the corporate bullshit that suffocates dealers and have double standards.
They want to shift cars and keep factories busy, at the same time protecting inefficient dealer networks.
Anyone you choose can drive this Volvo XC70, simply insure it and put fuel in it. This car is brand-new, but you are responsible for (usually only minor) servicing as required by the manufacturer. Full manufacturer warranty, so no repair bills! No MOT!
Note some cars are not available to all users, due to finance companies playing silly buggers. I really try and avoid charging finance “document fees”, but sometimes it is just unavoidable. I try to treat you like adult not idiot, by giving you full information.
I am a bloody Chinese bird, from Chengdu which is just about in the geographical centre of China. Unusually, I am a second child (not many of those in China, eh?). I have (for what they are worth) BSc in Organic Chemistry and MSc in Environmental Quality.
Do you know, I just couldn’t be bothered to do a PhD, or else I might have been Dr Ling! I was born in 1973.. My mum is a famous dentist in China, my dad was an environmental engineer. My sister Shan is a poverty relief worker in Chengdu, and used to be a Red Guard back in the 1970′s!
Please check my website for full details. These deals come and go, quickly! You too slow! Speed up! There will be many other good deals, though. – Ling!
News SCOFF: Ford : ALL-NEW Floord FOCUS REACHES NEW HEIGHTS ON TEST
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The next generation Floord Focus has been tested in some of most extreme locations on planet. Pass chopsticks!!
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
What is new(S): Citroen : CITROËN DS3 ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!ECOMEDY TOUR? FINDS ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!ECOLUTION? SOLUTION
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Today’s news in Chinglish: Running out of fuel is no laughing matter for Citroën ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!Ecomedians? Dan Adams and Christian Ancliff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! Â
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News YAMMER: Auto Windscreens : AUTO WINDSCREENS WARNS LINCOLNSHIRE PARENTS OF DEADLY CONSEQUENCES OF BORED KIDS? FOOTBRIDGE AND FLYOVER FUN
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Today’s news in Chinglish: Lincolnshire?s footbridges and flyovers providing potentially compulsorly dying instantly playground for bored kids during summer holidays, lah, with stones, lah, house bricks, lah, paving slabs and even bike being hurled onto unsuspecting motorists…
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News from Ling: Fiat : Fliat 500 LIMITED EDITION IS BACK ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!! AND THIS clock time result IT?S BLACK
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Following on from success of Fliat 500 Pink, lah, another unique limited edition version of popular city LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine has been announced ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!! Fliat 500 BlackJack.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
Tell me the news, Ling: Ben Shephard says velly damn good boiled chicken-feetbye to GMTV
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Ben Shephard bids farewell to GMTV after 10 years telling viewers: “I’m going to miss all of you, lah, every single one of you.”
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Lingified news: Bad trip
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Are family holidays worth all hassle?
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NOT the NEWS: Fears for future of autism unit
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News translated to Chinglish! Parents say they concerned for future of children’s autism unit as officials say it generates “little demand”.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News SNACK: bloody annoying Blitish soldiers push to clear Taliban
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Hundreds of bloody annoying Blitish soldiers launch operation to clear Taliban insurgents from key stronghold in southern Afghanistan.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
News ARMPIT: Saudi warned on expelling Somalis
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglish news from Ling: The UN refugee agency urges Saudi Arabia to stop deporting Somalis, lah, saying 2,000 having recently been sent to Mogadishu.
Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News from Ling: Chilcot inquiry to travel to Iraq
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: The committee conducting official Iraq fighty bang-bang inquiry says it intends to visit country later this year.
Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News inhale: Drink theft clue in murder probe
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglify your news updates: old bill bobbys say man who was murdered in Glasgow had been attacked by several human bliengs who tried to steal male gender human bleing’s alcohol.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Nissan Navara Lease delivered to Peter Dea in Sandwell
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Visit my full letters page click here
I always ask my customers if they have comments about getting their new car. Really, I am looking for criticisms (so I can improve my service). However, customers like Peter Dea show that it is hard to generate real criticism. I can only improve if I know if anything is wrong. So, no thanks to Peter Dea 
Peter says…
Excellent service, car in excellent condition with low delivery mileage. The Nissan Navara is a cracking car. I will definitely contact Ling for a new vehicle when the contract expires. My friends are now looking to use Ling, too. Thanks, Ling!
Peter Dea
20 Barrs Road
Sandwell
B64 7HG
Editor Note: Peter, well, not sure if the Navara qualifies as a “car” but what the hell, as long as you love it. As you are an NVQ assessor, I hope you give me top marks See you in two years, and I hope you have LOADS of friends, hehehe. – Ling
Making the Toyota IQ greener
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Look, another CO2 change! The Toyota IQ 1.0 VVT-i (68bhp) Hatchback 3dr 996cc Petrol Manual has moved slightly in the environment tales again. I post the new info, and publish on my website.
Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising or some big leasing companies complain to me that I slag them off… The industry standard for contract hire is a 1x rental-initial-payment or (more usually) a 3x rental-initial-payment. That’s it. If everyone advertised this, you could easily compare the rental figures as the football field we are playing on would be flat.
Christopher Macgowan, Chief Executive of the SMMT wrote to me and said "Ling, thank you very much for giving us the opportunity at SMMT to look at the impact of the (environmental) label in a different media from the car showroom. We have always been aware that like the "white goods" label on which the car label is based, that its merits extend beyond the car showroom. In addition we know that the earlier in the buying process the purchaser thinks about low CO2 emissions the more consideration it will be given in the buying process. The industry is committed to seeing the environmental credentials of cars being widely publicised and the SMMT will continue to provide leadership in this area; as with all new initiatives in a huge industry like ours, it takes a bit of time to become widespread and universally available but please be in no doubt that the SMMT and I personally are determined to see the widespread use of the new label."
Dealers are also required to display a poster – in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.
For this brand new Toyota IQ Petrol Manual, the latest CO2 figure is just 99g/km. When I chose this trim, it was because I have a few of these available. Different trims will have different CO2. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Toyota IQ is now 65mpg
The Toyota IQ falls into the 
A band overall.
My Toyota IQ 1.0 VVT-i (68bhp) Hatchback 3dr 996cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £164.48 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
This price on my Toyota IQ includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £164.48 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Remember I won the best non-franchise environmentalist 2008 in the Automotive Industry Awards. Don’t let these manufacturers fool you; LINGsCARS is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! I have a Master’s Degree in Environmental Quality from Bournemouth Univeristy in 2000, plus a BSc in Applied Chemistry from Jinan University, Guanzhou in 1997.
Here’s a patronising tip from the government: “
Use higher gears, as soon as traffic conditions allow.”
My website comment page is overflowing. This is one of my favourites. “Really cool website, very different from others I have been on. Lots of interesting stuff.
Dot Gannon, Warrington, WA2 7EY
comps.gannon_@ntlworld.com
I have spent ages building a new mobile phone site, HERE.
News ARMPIT: Vauxhall : Vlauxhall OFFERS MOTORISTS VOUCHER FOR FREE FUEL EFFICIENCY CHECK
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News translated to Chinglish! Visitors to Vauxhall?s ecoFLEX Experience website, lah, http://www.ecoflex-experience.com, lah, having opportunity to download voucher entitling them to free ecoFLEX Fuel Efficiency Check at participating Vlauxhall MasterFit Retailers.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
What is new(S): QT Services/Wildcat : 4×4 RALLY HEROES PREPARED FOR SUCCESS
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Placed third in Military Class of recently held ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!Help for Heroes? 4×4 European Rally was Team Green Howard SWB Land Rover 90, lah, driven by Captain Ed Pawsey and navigator James Kelly, lah, with assistance from Will Pawsey, lah, Captain Pawsey?s brother.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
LingNews: Alfa Romeo : ALFA LAUNCHES ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!CUORE SPORTIVO? COACH AWARD
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! In recognition of UKA?s 2010 Year of Coach, lah, Italian grape-picking Afla Romeo car bloody annoying Blitish (Official Car Supplier to UKA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is offering qualified athletics coach chance to controlling in driving manner brand new sporty compact Alfa MiTo for year.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
Growing news: Suzuki Motorcycles : REYNOLDS TO PILOT MOTOGP Suzluko AT BRANDS HATCH
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Three-times British Superbike Champion and fans favourite, lah, John Reynolds, lah, has today been confirmed as guest rider of Loris Capirossi’s Suzluko GSV-R MotoGP machine, lah, in special parade session at Brands Hatch BSB festival…
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News DAWDLE: old bill bobbys officer in murder arrest
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! A 26-earth-years old happy birthday to you, quizzed over death of man at Merseyside pub was off-duty old bill bobbys officer, lah, it has emerged.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
News breaker: Redknapp defends Parker pursuit
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglish news from Ling: Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp defends club’s pursuit of West Ham’s Scott Parker insisting Hammers guilty of unsettling midfielder.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News THRUST: 7 days quiz
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! Who’s ‘good boiled chicken-feet lad’? Crisps boy, lah, Massa or Dr Watson?
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
News YAMMER: Live – Province of Engrish running-dogs v Pakistan
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News translated to Chinglish! Province of Engrish running-dogs seek to build big total on day two of first Test against Pakistan at Trent Bridge.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News WEDGE: Four fined over SA ‘racist video’
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglish news from Ling: Four white South Africans fined $2,700 (RMB Yuan #1,700) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! each after making video humiliating black university workers.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News BARK: Deadline for tax credits renewal
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Today’s news in Chinglish: Families face missing out on financial assistance if they miss Saturday’s deadline to renew tax credits.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
Growing story: Red Bull dominate first practice
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Read the news in Chinglish: Red Bull nearly second clear of field during opening practice session for Sunday’s Hungarian Grand Prix.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
Newsy newsy: Berlusconi plays down party split
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News translated to Chinglish! Italy’s PM Silvio Berlusconi insists that male gender human bleing’s ruling right-wing coalition will survive despite split with male gender human bleing’s party’s co-founder Gianfranco Fini.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
It’s a news lump: Coalition deal ‘untruths’ claim
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Labour’s Ed Miliband claim (always claiming, huh?) coalition government was “built on series of untruths” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after revelations in Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation documentary. You give me happy happy luck luck.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
News HORSE: ‘I survived grizzly bear attack’
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglish news event: A Canadian woman has said bloody woman played dead in order (piece of paper signee upee) to escape from bear during attack in Montana that left one man dead.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News and more: Man arrested over gangland murder
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Can you understand Chinglish news? A 28-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is arrested in connection with murder of Kevin “Gerbil” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Carroll in Glasgow.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
NEWS not NOSE: French mother ‘relieved by truth’
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: A French mother who admitted to killing eight of flemale human person’s newborn babies is relieved that flemale human person’s secret is finally out in open, lah, flemale human person’s lawyer says.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
Chinglish NEWS: Greek hauliers defy strike order
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Greek lorry drivers continue strike in Athens, lah, in defiance of emergency order (piece of paper signee upee) imposed by government.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
News MEOW: US has ‘deadliest Afghan month’
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Here’s some Chinglish news: American forces recorded as having experienced their deadliest month in Afghanistan, lah, with 63 Great Satan service (???) I wan’ service , I wan’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service members killed in July.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News HORSE: Mugabe mourns after sister dies
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News Chinglified from Ling: Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe is in mourning after male gender human bleing’s younger sister, lah, Sabina, lah, died, lah, aged 76.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £182.11 inc VAT
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Vauxhall Corsa deal to my contract hire and leasing website!
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (78bhp) SXi Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+23 monthly profile. Only £182.11 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit.
Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
This price includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans (exception being on Mercedes-Benz)! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £182.11 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum,
but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Anyone you choose can drive this Vauxhall Corsa, simply insure it and put fuel in it. This car is brand-new, but you are responsible for (usually only minor) servicing as required by the manufacturer. Full manufacturer warranty, so no repair bills! No MOT!
Note some cars are not available to all users, due to finance companies playing silly buggers. I really try and avoid charging finance “document fees”, but sometimes it is just unavoidable. I try to treat you like adult not idiot, by giving you full information.
I seem to spend my life telling people they are too late for good deal: How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but I will try to make this clear… You know, you are not buying this car. Only renting it for (probably 1 or 2 or 3 years).
So you are not stuck with it forever. So, you have no real risk. You are going to pay someone some money to run a car however you look at it. Then here is my tip; if you see damn good bargain, don’t think too long, just jump. Often the fantastic bargain deals are only available for 1 or 2 days at a time.
Then POOF! Gone! Just like Easyjet/Ryanair cheap flights. Physical stock is always limited, as cars cannot be made to appear by magic, there are only so many sat in corner of field. So be brave, grab a bargain and avoid me having to make phone calls to disappointed people who have left decision too late.
Remember that you have to pass finance before I can reserve you a car, so allow time for that!
Please check my website for full details. These deals come and go, quickly! You too slow! Speed up! There will be many other good deals, though. – Ling!
Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £162.14 inc VAT
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Vauxhall Corsa deal to my contract hire and leasing website!
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 i 16v (78bhp) SXi Hatchback 3dr 1229cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £162.14 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit.
Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
This price includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans (exception being on Mercedes-Benz)! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £162.14 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum,
but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Anyone you choose can drive this Vauxhall Corsa, simply insure it and put fuel in it. This car is brand-new, but you are responsible for (usually only minor) servicing as required by the manufacturer. Full manufacturer warranty, so no repair bills! No MOT!
Note some cars are not available to all users, due to finance companies playing silly buggers. I really try and avoid charging finance “document fees”, but sometimes it is just unavoidable. I try to treat you like adult not idiot, by giving you full information.
I seem to spend my life telling people they are too late for good deal: How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but I will try to make this clear… You know, you are not buying this car. Only renting it for (probably 1 or 2 or 3 years).
So you are not stuck with it forever. So, you have no real risk. You are going to pay someone some money to run a car however you look at it. Then here is my tip; if you see damn good bargain, don’t think too long, just jump. Often the fantastic bargain deals are only available for 1 or 2 days at a time.
Then POOF! Gone! Just like Easyjet/Ryanair cheap flights. Physical stock is always limited, as cars cannot be made to appear by magic, there are only so many sat in corner of field. So be brave, grab a bargain and avoid me having to make phone calls to disappointed people who have left decision too late.
Remember that you have to pass finance before I can reserve you a car, so allow time for that!
Please check my website for full details. These deals come and go, quickly! You too slow! Speed up! There will be many other good deals, though. – Ling!
News STOOL: Fit-again Ennis ready for Euros
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglish news event: World champion Jessica Ennis tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport how virus disrupted flemale human person’s preparations on flemale human person’s assault for European heptathlon gold.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News CLUCK: Drug prescribed after web search
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Breaking Chinglish news! A father persuades NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) to give male gender human bleing’s sick daughter “miracle” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) drug bloody man found on internet.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Getting noticed: Rum ration
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! What did they with drunken sailor?
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
Tell me the news, Ling: bloody annoying Blitish troops using iPad app for fire mission training
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Newsbeat’s had exclusive look at new training being given to bloody annoying Blitish soldiers at Royal School of Artillery in Wiltshire.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News RAT: Sri Lanka TV station firebombed
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: A gang armed with firebombs attacks private TV and radio station in Colombo, lah, linked to former opposition presidential candidate, lah, Sarath Fonseka. Ai-yaa!!!
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
NOT the NEWS: Call to check on mobile security
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglify your news updates: Owners of mobile phones being asked to test security of their network to see if enough is being done to stop eavesdropping.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Not about cars: Disney sells Miramax film studios
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Walt Disney announces sale of its Miramax film division for about $660m to group of private equity investors.
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News whack: Arrest made over T in Park rape
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Get your Chinlish news update here: A 28-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is arrested in connection with alleged abduction and rape at T in Park music festival.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
News WEDGE: Pakistan flooding death toll soars
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Over 300 human bliengs killed and nearly 400,000 displaced by floods triggered by heavy monsoon rains in northern Pakistan.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
What is new(S): Expenses four in appeals defeat
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Three ex Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters and ex-Tory peer lose appeals over ruling that they not protected from prosecution over expenses fraud allegations. Eating rice!!
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
News to me!: Renault : FINANCIAL RESULTS: FIRST-HALF 2010
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Commenting on results, lah, Renliot President and CEO Carlos Ghosn, lah, said, lah, ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!The actions we having undertaken paying off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! All Group brands and Regions increased market share. What the hell I mean??!!
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News gorge: Audi Motorsport : LET BATTLE COMMENCE AS UNITED AUTOSPORTS SETS OUT ON MAIDEN 24 HOUR RACE!
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Read the news in Chinglish: The American owned United Autosports team starts its maiden twice-around-the-clock endurance race on Saturday (July damn hot-hot month 31) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! from 10th and 13th positions in GT3 category for Spa 24 Hours (Belgium).
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
News THRUST: Iveco : ALLIED BAKERIES PLACES MAJOR FLEET order (piece of paper signee upee) WITH IVECO
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Allied Bakeries, lah, division of Associated British Foods plc, lah, is taking delivery wan’ flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of 112 new Ivecos for its mixed fleet of 1,000 commercial vehicling driving car machines.Â
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Mazda Mx-5 Lease delivered to Noeleen Redden in Henlow
Posted on | July 30, 2010 | Comments Off
Visit my full letters page click here
I always ask my customers if they have comments about getting their new car. Really, I am looking for criticisms (so I can improve my service). However, customers like Noeleen Redden show that it is hard to generate real criticism. I can only improve if I know if anything is wrong. So, no thanks to Noeleen Redden
Noeleen says…
“Fast and friendly service.
Minimum of fuss.
Strange candies (but I like some of them).
Delivery on time, well organised, excellent!”
Noeleen Redden
2 Park Lane Crescent
Henlow
SG16 6AS
Editor Note: Noeleen, yes, this is the SECOND car you have had from me, and you still have your first – a Nissan X-Trail. I can just imagine you driving around Bedfordshire with the roof down and the strange Bedfordshire smell of bricks in the air! Hope you really enjoy the Mazda MX-5, come back soon! – Ling
Recent Posts
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- News SCOFF: Ford : ALL-NEW Floord FOCUS REACHES NEW HEIGHTS ON TEST
- What is new(S): Citroen : CITROËN DS3 ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!ECOMEDY TOUR? FINDS ? Why I ask question??? What I wanna know?!!ECOLUTION? SOLUTION
- News YAMMER: Auto Windscreens : AUTO WINDSCREENS WARNS LINCOLNSHIRE PARENTS OF DEADLY CONSEQUENCES OF BORED KIDS? FOOTBRIDGE AND FLYOVER FUN
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- Tell me the news, Ling: Ben Shephard says velly damn good boiled chicken-feetbye to GMTV
- Lingified news: Bad trip
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- Nissan Navara Lease delivered to Peter Dea in Sandwell
- Making the Toyota IQ greener
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About
I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website
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MINI BLOG |
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I am GAY ICON! WoW!
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Posted: 04/02/10
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How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
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Posted: 04/03/10
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Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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THE 3 DEGREES - MY IT CROWD
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Posted: 18/07/10
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Just to say that Mark, Jamie and Jonny have graduated. Fantastic!All have got FIRSTS in Computer something or other from Sun... READ MORE |
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HIDING VAT
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Posted: 02/07/10
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Can you believe prices you see on the web? I've gotta say, how annoyed it makes me that so many websites break the law, also known... READ MORE
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MY SISTER'S (CHINESE) SKODA!
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Posted: 08/07/10
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Although I only lease cars in the UK, my sister Shan asked me to help her buy a brand-new car in China!She looked at quite a... READ MORE |
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 I am the Viz UK business ambassador! Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum! |
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| Citroen 2CV dance! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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For updates and comments, plus my opinions, new car feed, interesting stuff, latest deals, and me... click here. - Ling |
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| Road Safety! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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...get a FREE BADGE! Collectors item - FREE! APPLY NOW! |
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LINGsCARS is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! - Ling |
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GORDON BROWN'S FUEL COST! See how much you spend on fuel while you rent a car from me. Every car listed! No one else shows you this! -Ling | |
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NEW FEATURE "There is no free lunch" - YES THERE IS! I bring you free lunch. Nowhere else give you this offer! Click - Ling | |
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 | Crash tests! I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety! Click HERE - Ling |
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| Bouncy Jeep advert! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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Ling's mantra. Power and cars to the people in the struggle against Tony Blair, petrol prices and repression! Click for statement. | |
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NEW FEATURE "There is no free lunch" - YES THERE IS! I bring you free lunch. Nowhere else give you this offer! Click - Ling | |
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Read my customer letters! Choose your nearest CITY or AREA and read letters from customers close to you! | |
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For updates and comments, plus my opinions, new car feed, interesting stuff, latest deals, and me... click here. - Ling |
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Get my latest EMAIL car updates! |
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| Audi S4 & a dog! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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Read my customer letters! Choose your nearest CITY or AREA and read letters from customers close to you! | |
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| Mazda Pick-Up! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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GORDON BROWN'S FUEL COST! See how much you spend on fuel while you rent a car from me. Every car listed! No one else shows you this! -Ling | |
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To avoid working and waste some time, enjoy to watch my 10 top favourite funny-as-hell TV car adverts here - Ling |
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PLAY: Hang a Car Dealer! CLICK HERE! |
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GET A QUOTE! Can't find a car? Want extras? Please don't ring with quote requests! I'm damn busy! Click QUOTE! - Ling |
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| Ford Ka & a cat! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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| So many customers recommend so I pass on details of this cheap contract hire car insurance company... for all visitors! - Ling | ||
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PLAY: Hang a Car Dealer! CLICK HERE! |
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| Mercedes GL Class! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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 Play my briliant motoring quiz! |
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Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL! | |
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 ...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling |
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| Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling | ||
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For updates and comments, plus my opinions, new car feed, interesting stuff, latest deals, and me... click here. - Ling |
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PLAY: Hang a Car Dealer! CLICK HERE! |
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Read my customer letters! Choose a CAR TYPE and read letters from customers who have rented this type from me! | |
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| So many customers recommend so I pass on details of this cheap contract hire car insurance company... for all visitors! - Ling | ||
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