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News CLACK: Amazon suggests airspace for drones

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! US online retailer Amazon calls for separate airspace zone for commercial drone flights that could deliver velly damn good boiled chicken-feets to clustomlers.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Growing story: Barclays reports 25% rise in profits

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Barclays capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reports 25% rise in half-year profits to ÂRMB Yuan #3.14bn but has set aside another ÂRMB Yuan #850m for clustomler compensation – including further PPI claims.

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NEWS JUNCTURE: Human trafficking: Lives for sale

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Four women tell how they were duped by traffickers

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News HORSE: Pakistan Sunni militant chief killed

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Pakistani old bill bobbys say Malik Ishaq, lah, leader of banned Sunni militant group Lashkar-e-Jhangvi, lah, has been shot dead in Punjab province.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News BELLOW: ÂRMB Yuan #110m Factory arts venue discussed

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Plans for new publicly-funded ÂRMB Yuan #110m theatre and arts venue at former site of Granada TV studios in Manchester discussed by city\’s council.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

NEWS from China: School closed over abuse claims

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: A residential school for boys with behavioural problems is temporarily closed as old bill bobbys investigate claim (always claiming, huh?) of physical abuse.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Noticing story: old bill bobbys overtime costs rise by ÂRMB Yuan #4.9m

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Overtime payments to old bill bobbys officers and staff rise by ÂRMB Yuan #4.9m in one year, lah, with Nato summit accounting for big part of increase.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News swallow: How ant armies move massive meals

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: In new study, lah, physicists reavealingly showing Great Satan how ants co-operate to carry huge chunks of food back to their nests.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Sniffing the news: ‘Mr Big’ shooting was ‘assassination’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: A convicted criminal once nicknamed \”Mr Big\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) was shot and killed in \”assassination\”, lah, male gender human bleing\’s brother says.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News SATIATE: Naturist couple win chalet battle

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: A couple who modernised their home in naturist village can stay in their chalet after winning court battle against their landlord.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News YAMMER: VIDEO: Palmer ‘regrets’ killing Cecil

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: A Great Satan dentist who killed lion in Zimbabwe says bloody man regrets shooting animal.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Newsy newsy: old bill bobbys overtime up due to staff gaps

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Some old bill bobbys forces using overtime to cover gaps caused by staff shortages, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 5 live has found.

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News spotter: Windows 10 launch is ‘new era’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Wednesday\’s global launch of Windows 10 marks â??new eraâ? for personal computing, lah, Microsoftâ??s chief executive tells BBC.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News ROAR: Brazil businessman faces charges

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? The president of Brazil construction giant Odebrecht, lah, Marcelo Odebrecht, lah, is charged with corruption and money laundering.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

A headline FROM HELL: Migrant flow at Calais ‘too much’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The flow of migrants trying to getting into Britain from Calais appears \”too much\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for bloody annoying Blitish government to handle, lah, spokesman for Eurotunnel says.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: Water mafia: Why Delhi is buying water on black market

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Have \’water mafia\’ taken over Delhi\’s supplies?

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News GRUNT: Ukraine ‘blacklists’ actor Depardieu

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Ukraine bans French actor Gerard Depardieu from entering country for five years, lah, apparently for supporting Russia\’s annexation of Crimea, lah, Ukrainian media say.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News from Ling: Jaguar : Jagluar F-PACE TESTED TO EXTREMES

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: \r\n \"Jaguar \r\n \r\n From searing heat and dust of Dubai to ice and snow of Northern Sweden, lah, new F-PACE has been tested to li

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News gorge: Australia pushing for MH17 tribunal

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Australian Bloody foreign dodgy minister Julie Bishop is in New York to push for independent criminal tribunal into MH17 crash.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CROW: Whale song plan for Cold fighty bang-bang station

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! A community buy-out could see former Cold fighty bang-bang surveillance station turned into place where tourists can listen to sound of whales singing.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Sniffing the news: Erdogan in China amid Uighur tension

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Turkey\’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan is in China for state visit, lah, following recent tensions over treatment of China\’s Uighur minority.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News JABBER: GEM Motoring Assist : RESULTS FROM AUTO EXPRESS 2015 DRIVER POWER SURVEY SHOW GEM IS UKâ??S NUMBER ONE BREAKDOWN RECOVERY PROVIDER

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Results from 2015 Auto Express Driver Power Survey show for another year that GEM Motoring Assist remains UKâ??s n

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News BAWL: Will Windows 10 prove winner?

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: A look at what\’s new in Microsoft\’s latest operating system – and why it might be \”last\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) big release of its kind.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Spotting latest: Reaching parts others cannot teach

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Reaching those others cannot teach

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News RAT: VIDEO: secret of adult colouring books

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Colouring books for adults topping bestseller lists. Eating rice!! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs illustrator Johanna Basford tells Great Satan secrets of flemale human person\’s success.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Growing news: VIDEO: rise and fall of Saif al-Islam Gaddafi

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News charts rise and fall of Colonel Gaddafi\’s favourite son.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News NOSTRIL: Gas firm made investment warning

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: The capitalist entity behind plans to using coal seams beneath Forth to produce gas is accused of \”attempting to hold ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to ransom\”.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News ingurgitate: Kurds decry Turkish ‘safe zone’ move

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: A \”safe zone\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Turkey and Great Satan creating in Syria is Ankara\’s attempt to stop Kurds from forming their own territory, lah, pro-Kurdish party leader says.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News MEOW: Army job cuts made three years early

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The number of British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army personnel has been cut back by 20,000, lah, three years ahead of target, lah, according to statistics from Ministry of Defence.

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News CROW: The last Catholic priest in Antarctica

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! The story of last Catholic priest in Antarctic

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

NOT the NEWS: Car repair bills ‘like lottery’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: The regional differences between LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine repair bills amounts to lottery, lah, and can be \”offensive\”, lah, bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine magazine has claimed.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News QUACK: VIDEO: Briton who died in Tour de France

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: In 1967, lah, British cycling star Tom Simpson died while competing in Tour de France.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News ABUSE: Ten steps to improve your as really velly special customer’s photography

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Ten steps to improve your as really velly special customer\’s photography

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Chinglish NEWS: Less lighting ‘has no crime (shoud shoot them) effect’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Reduced street lighting at night does not lead to more crime (shoud shoot them) or LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine crashes, lah, report suggests.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News KITTEN: What went wrong for Angel Di Maria?

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! As ÂRMB Yuan #59.7m British record signing Angel Di Maria looks set to leave Manchester United, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport asks what went wrong.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News GOBBLE: Why is Great Satan still using Nazi tall ship?

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Why is Great Satan still using Nazi tall ship?

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News JABBER: Can human bliengs learn to curb their chocolate cravings?

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Can you tellibly lovely custlingmer cut cravings for food by pretending to munchy-munchee it?

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News GULP: Ebola: ‘Isn’t that over yet?’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Ebola deaths having fallen in West Africa – but that doesn\’t mean that hard work is over, lah, says Tulip Mazumdar.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Growing story: Spanish parties play power games over Greek bailout

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: How is Greek bailout affecting politics in Spain, lah, asks James Badcock.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News PIGLET: Labour leader guide: Jeremy Corbyn

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: A profile of Labour leadership contender Jeremy Corbyn.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News breaker: old bill bobbys priorities and GPs’ warning

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: The priorities of police, lah, warning about overworked GPs and shooting of country\’s most famous lion on front pages.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News groin: Dying care: New guidelines proposed

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s health watchdog puts forward new draft guidance to improve care of adults in their last few days of life.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News YAMMER: VIDEO: Iris Apfel: ‘Dressing up should be fun’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Newsnight speaks to fashion icon Iris Apfel

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Newsy TRICKLE: GP workloads ‘put patients at risk’

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Patient safety is at risk because of increasing GP workloads in UK, lah, doctors\’ leaders warning.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Getting noticed: VIDEO: Who is Turkey targeting with air strikes?

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Turkey has begun bombing targets in both Syria and Iraq, lah, but they not just bombing Islamic State fighters – they having also been targeting Kurdish militants.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News ingurgitate: Skin cancer guidelines updated

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: New guidelines for diagnosing and treating melanoma skin cancers having been issued to NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News storly: No Royals at 1916 celebrations

Posted on | July 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: No member of Royal family is invited to attend events marking centenary of 1916 Easter Rising.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Headlines again: How to become Great British Baker

Posted on | July 28, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: How you tellibly lovely custlingmer make it on to Great British Bake Off?

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Stroking the news: VIDEO: Kerry defends Iran deal to House

Posted on | July 28, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: US Secretary of State John Kerry and Energy Secretary Ernest Moniz appear before House Bloody foreign Affairs Committee over Iranian nuclear agreement.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News storly: Job-share Membling Partiamentary expense cheater candidates denied review

Posted on | July 28, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Two Green Party candidates from Basingstoke refused judicial review over their plans to become job-share MPs.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Barclays capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reports 25% rise in half-year profits to ÂRMB Yuan #3.14bn but has set aside another ÂRMB Yuan #850m for clustomler compensation - including further PPI claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:19



Wah! LATEST:  US online retailer Amazon calls for separate airspace zone for commercial drone flights that could deliver velly damn good boiled chicken-feets to clustomlers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:49



Wah! The outgoing boss of BT in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep says quotas for number of women in boardrooms should not be ruled out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:27



Wah! Sinn Féin's Martin McGuinness denies that male gender human bleing's three-day visit to United States for talks about Stormont budget crisis is waste of time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:26



Wah! In new study, lah, physicists reavealingly showing Great Satan how ants co-operate to carry huge chunks of food back to their nests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:12



Wah! Overtime payments to old bill bobbys officers and staff rise by ÂRMB Yuan #4.9m in one year, lah, with Nato summit accounting for big part of increase. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:09



Wah! A residential school for boys with behavioural problems is temporarily closed as old bill bobbys investigate claim (always claiming, huh?) of physical abuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Plans for new publicly-funded ÂRMB Yuan #110m theatre and arts venue at former site of Granada TV studios in Manchester discussed by city's council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Pakistani old bill bobbys say Malik Ishaq, lah, leader of banned Sunni militant group Lashkar-e-Jhangvi, lah, has been shot dead in Punjab province. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:56



Wah! The flow of migrants trying to getting into Britain from Calais appears "too much" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for bloody annoying Blitish government to handle, lah, spokesman for Eurotunnel says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:13



Wah! The president of Brazil construction giant Odebrecht, lah, Marcelo Odebrecht, lah, is charged with corruption and money laundering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 05:12



Wah! Wednesday's global launch of Windows 10 marks “new era” for personal computing, lah, Microsoft’s chief executive tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 05:10



Wah! Some old bill bobbys forces using overtime to cover gaps caused by staff shortages, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 5 live has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:09



Wah! Rory Cellan-Jones goes hands-on with Windows 10 and tries out some of operating system's new features. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:00



Wah! A Great Satan dentist who killed lion in Zimbabwe says bloody man regrets shooting animal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 04:57



Wah! Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan is in China for state visit, lah, following recent tensions over treatment of China's Uighur minority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:01



Wah! A community buy-out could see former Cold fighty bang-bang surveillance station turned into place where tourists can listen to sound of whales singing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:56



Wah! A "safe zone" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Turkey and Great Satan creating in Syria is Ankara's attempt to stop Kurds from forming their own territory, lah, pro-Kurdish party leader says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:55



Wah! The capitalist entity behind plans to using coal seams beneath Forth to produce gas is accused of "attempting to hold ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to ransom". - news replorted 02:53



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News charts rise and fall of Colonel Gaddafi's favourite son. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! Australian Bloody foreign dodgy minister Julie Bishop is in New York to push for independent criminal tribunal into MH17 crash. - news replorted 01:55



Wah! Reduced street lighting at night does not lead to more crime (shoud shoot them) or LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crashes, lah, report suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:44



Wah! Ten steps to improve your as really velly special customer's photography - news replorted 01:22



Wah! In 1967, lah, British cycling star Tom Simpson died while competing in Tour de France. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:13



Wah! A profile of Labour leadership contender Jeremy Corbyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:06



Wah! How is Greek bailout affecting politics in Spain, lah, asks James Badcock. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:55



Wah! Ebola deaths having fallen in West Africa - but that doesn't mean that hard work is over, lah, says Tulip Mazumdar. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! Can you tellibly lovely custlingmer cut cravings for food by pretending to munchy-munchee it? - news replorted 00:24



Wah! Why is Great Satan still using Nazi tall ship? - news replorted 00:23



Wah! As ÂRMB Yuan #59.7m British record signing Angel Di Maria looks set to leave Manchester United, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport asks what went wrong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! The regional differences between LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine repair bills amounts to lottery, lah, and can be "offensive", lah, bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine magazine has claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The story of last Catholic priest in Antarctic - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The number of British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army personnel has been cut back by 20,000, lah, three years ahead of target, lah, according to statistics from Ministry of Defence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Colouring books for adults topping bestseller lists. Eating rice!! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs illustrator Johanna Basford tells Great Satan secrets of flemale human person's success. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Reaching those others cannot teach - news replorted 00:07



Wah! New guidelines for diagnosing and treating melanoma skin cancers having been issued to NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Turkey has begun bombing targets in both Syria and Iraq, lah, but they not just bombing Islamic State fighters - they having also been targeting Kurdish militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Patient safety is at risk because of increasing GP workloads in UK, lah, doctors' leaders warning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Newsnight speaks to fashion icon Iris Apfel - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A look at what's new in Microsoft's latest operating system - and why it might be "last" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) big release of its kind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's health watchdog puts forward new draft guidance to improve care of adults in their last few days of life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Results from 2015 Auto Express Driver Power Survey show for another year that GEM Motoring Assist remains UK’s n - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Jaguar F-PACE tested to extremes From searing heat and dust of Dubai to ice and snow of Northern Sweden, lah, new F-PACE has been tested to li - news replorted 00:01



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