Gimme news bleat: VIDEO: ÂRMB Yuan #80m old bill bobbys smart phone plan criticised
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Get your Chinlish news update here: An ÂRMB Yuan #80m Home Office programme to give old bill bobbys forces Blackberrys and other mobile devices has been criticised by National Audit Office.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
NEWS not NOSE: Orchid’s bloom captured on camera
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Can you understand Chinglish news? Time-lapse photography captures orchid coming into flower
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
Noticing story: Eleven hurt in Great Satan casino collapse
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Car Leasing news in Chinglish: At least 11 human bliengs having been hurtee-hurtee after under-construction casino partially collapsed in Cincinnati, lah, Ohio, lah, emergency crews say.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
Glowing report: Tibetan ‘dies in Sichuan unrest’
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish news event: Super-Duper-Chinese-State security forces having shot and killed young Tibetan in Sichuan province, lah, campaign groups say, lah, third killing this week.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
Bottom feeder news: Man jailed over ricin recipe find
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Breaking Chinglish news! A Bolton man is jailed for possessing recipe for deadly poison ricin and rice-paper officialing doumentlation about how to make bombs.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
News GULP: Elliot ‘explores’ UUP – DUP link
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? The Ulster Unionist leader Tom Elliott writes to party members to reassure them about nature of talks with DUP.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
Bmw 3-series Touring Lease delivered to Mike Dodsworth in Ryton
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Visit my full letters page click here
Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Mike Dodsworth that I got a while ago:
Mike says…
“As an accountant who works for a 6-dealership car chain, I was simply amazed at Ling’s prices on her website. There is no way that our dealer group could match them. When I spoke to her, I found out the secret to her low prices; efficiency and low overheads.
I live near Gateshead, and I was so impressed with what she told me that I asked if I could meet her and look at her books. Ling agreed. Most dealer groups need to make at least £1000 per car in order to cover costs, whereas Ling can do it for between £50-£100, sometimes less. And still make a profit. That is truly astounding. My mouth literally dropped open when I saw her turnover, all juggled by Ling on her own. Ling has slashed EVERY ounce of waste out of her business. She is truly the Ryanair of car salespeople!
Anyhow, I chose a BMW 320d Touring, and I was so impressed that I ordered a new Mini for my wife. I am an accountant and Ling managed to DOUBLE my car order! Looking back, that is amazing. This certainly is the cheapest way to run a new car, if you can guess your mileage and stick to it!”
Mike Dodsworth
Financial Director
Constable Close
Ryton
NE40 3JT
Editor Note: Phew, that is one hell of recommendation, thanks Mike! Glad you are happy with BMW and Mini, maybe you should buy one for your son, eh? – Ling
Mercedes C-Class Coupe Leasing Cheap £393.61 inc VAT
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Mercedes C-Class Coupe deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Mercedes C-Class Coupe 2.2 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (167bhp) C220 AMG Sport Edition 125 Coupe 2dr 2143cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £393.61 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit.
Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
Some car manufacturers allow me to sell their cars direct. However this is very politically incorrect to some backward-looking dealers who have invested £millions into their showrooms, and who complain about me selling cars.
So these manufacturers have to supply me through “back doors”. Other car manufacturers dislike me intently and I have to sneak their cars from friendly dealers. What a strange mixed-up world this is.
This price includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £393.61 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum,
but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Some enlightened car dealers recognise where their strengths lie. They are good at delivering cars. So they allow me to sell cars that they can order then deliver. This strips away layers of costs, and creates efficiency.
Car dealers have MASSIVE overheads, they comprise employed staff with as much drive as a Reliant Robin and are up to their necks in corporate bullshit. Car manufacturers in general overproduce cars, generate the corporate bullshit that suffocates dealers and have double standards.
They want to shift cars and keep factories busy, at the same time protecting inefficient dealer networks.
Anyone you choose can drive this Mercedes C-Class Coupe, simply insure it and put fuel in it. This car is brand-new, but you are responsible for (usually only minor) servicing as required by the manufacturer. Full manufacturer warranty, so no repair bills! No MOT!
Note some cars are not available to all users, due to finance companies playing silly buggers. I really try and avoid charging finance “document fees”, but sometimes it is just unavoidable. I try to treat you like adult not idiot, by giving you full information.
I am a bloody Chinese bird, from Chengdu which is just about in the geographical centre of China. Unusually, I am a second child (not many of those in China, eh?). I have (for what they are worth) BSc in Organic Chemistry and MSc in Environmental Quality.
Do you know, I just couldn’t be bothered to do a PhD, or else I might have been Dr Ling! I was born in 1973.. My mum is a famous dentist in China, my dad was an environmental engineer. My sister Shan is a poverty relief worker in Chengdu, and used to be a Red Guard back in the 1970′s!
Please check my website for full details. These deals come and go, quickly! You too slow! Speed up! There will be many other good deals, though. – Ling!
Pollutant levels on my Jaguar XF
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Everyone moans that things go up and up and up. Well, the CO2 on the Jaguar XF 2.2 d 16v (187bhp) SE Saloon 4dr 2179cc Diesel Automatic has just come down! What a result! This post is to let you know.
Personal Contract Hire is exactly the same as contract hire for businesses. This is the beauty of getting a car like this, as you benefit from FLEET BONUSES! However, VAT makes a difference. Businesses get the rentals shown ex-VAT (they can often reclaim half of it), whereas private purchasers have it included in the rentals.
A very important feature is to be able to compare many different cars – on my main car listing pages. No franchised dealer will allow this, as they are mainly representing just one brand, so how is the average customer expected to make comparative judgements?
The external noise emitted by passenger cars has been controlled since 1929 when the Motor Cars (Excessive Noise) regulations were introduced. New cars are now required to meet Europe-wide noise limits. These have been progressively reduced from 82 decibels (dB(A)) in 1978 to the current limit of 74 dB(A) established in 1996. This means it would take 7 new vehicles to make the same amount of noise as a vehicle that just meets the pre-1978 limits.
Having got all the info for the Jaguar XF Diesel Automatic, I can publish the new CO2 figure: 149g/km. This will change across the different models of this particular car, they are all a bit different. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Jaguar XF is now 52mpg
The Jaguar XF falls into the 
F band overall.
My Jaguar XF 2.2 d 16v (187bhp) SE Saloon 4dr 2179cc Diesel Automatic gearbox is only £449.99 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 47 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
This price on my Jaguar XF includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £449.99 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
The comparative or "fridge" label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. "The usual horseshit", he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck "Calm down dear!" – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.
Here’s a patronising tip from the government: “
Do not compromise safety but be aware that the use of onboard electrical devices increases fuel consumption.”
I have so many of these website comments, they are overflowing on my desk! “What a great site – I didn’t know that leasing a car could actually be funny. If I buy a car, can I pay in Yuan?
Noel Ryan, St Neots, PE19 1NP
noel_ryan_@tiscali.co.uk
Don’t buy a mobile until you have checked out LINGsMOBILES.com. Loads of cheap phones, there.
News WEDGE: VIDEO: ‘We should rebrand tax as charity’
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! Many struggling to pay their bills but philosopher Alain De Botton reckons British should be encouraged to think this is velly damn good boiled chicken-feet idea, lah, by rebranding it as charity.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News FANNY: Five Nigeria governors forced out
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglify your news updates: Nigeria’s Supreme Court orders five of country’s powerful state governors to step down for overstaying their term in office in landmark judgement.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News NOSTRIL: Warnings for pursuit death police
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Breaking Chinglish news! Five South Welsh land of sheep and more sheep old bill bobbys officers receive written warnings for disobeying orders to stop pursuing man who went on to crash into wall and later died.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
LingNews: CAP : CAP WARNS OPERATORS AND USED VAN DEALERS OF UNFORESEEN FUTURE COSTS ARISING FROM EURO 5
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! New emissions rules could spell unforeseen costs for operators â’ sparking caution and lower residual values in used market.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News GUZZLE: VIDEO: Homes for families of hurtee-hurtee troops
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: The Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham is joining with Great Satan charity to offer accommodation on site for relatives of hurtee-hurtee servicemen.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News KITTEN: Steel worker job losses confirmed
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Get your Chinlish news update here: Up to 350 workers to lose their jobs at Kent steel firm which has gone into administration, lah, it is confirmed.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
NEWS not NOSE: Day in pictures: 27 first number-one-month 2012
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Here’s some Chinglish news: 24 hours of news photos: 27 first number-one-month 2012
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
News SCOFF: Ferdinand ponders Terry handshake
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Anton Ferdinand is considering refusing to shake hands with John Terry ahead of Saturday’s FA Cup fourth round tie between QPR and Chelsea.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Making it matter: Davos 2012: Where to invest this year?
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish news event: ‘Gambling’ with some of world’s top investors
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News QUACK: MPs ‘have little to do’ – Straw
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Latest news in Chinglish: Jack Straw says there is so little government legislation for Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters to consider at moment that dodgy ministers having to “manufacture activity”.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
Helping the news: VIDEO: CCTV cameras catch fish poachers
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: New technology is being used in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers to try to prevent one of oldest crimes of fish poaching.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News NIBBLE: EU official quits in piracy row
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Can you understand Chinglish news? A European Parliament rapporteur has stood down in protest as controversial anti-piracy agreement is signed by several countries.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News NIPPLE: Toyota : BRITAIN DELIVERS TOYOTAâS 400,000TH HYBRID IN EUROPE
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Here’s some Chinglish news: Toyota delivered its 400,000th hybrid in Europe on past day, lah, day before today day (26 January), lah, British-built Auris Hybrid from its Burnaston factory in Derbyshire. What the hell I mean??!! vehicling driving car machine was handed over to Valentine Nkwocha, lah, capitalist entity LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine driver for CTG, lah, IT capitalist entity in Belgium.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Citroen C-crosser Lease delivered to Lee Larkin in Cheshire
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Visit my full letters page click here
Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by Lee Larkin from Cheshire. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!
Lee says…
I love ding-a-ling and her team! She did everything that she promised – and more – when my C-Crosser turned up bang on time. It had an additional DVD player built in and a music system with a 30Gb hard drive!! Happy days! Excellent delivery, I was very happy with the dealer service. Thank you Ling and all of your team. See you in 2-years!
Lee Larkin
15 Ambleside Close
Winsford
Cheshire
CW7 2RU
Editor Note: Louie, what a nutter you are! Hahahaha. Whenever I get the option to grab a higher spec car, I do, but that’s not very often. In this case, you won the lottery! Nice to get a £thousand of stuff for nothing, eh? Happy days indeed. Enjoy the DVD and music! Have a great time in the C-Crosser. – Ling
Fuel economy and CO2 change on my Citroen C3
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Great cars like the Citroen C3 1.4 i 16v (95bhp) VTR+ Hatchback 5dr 1397cc Petrol Manual jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes.
At the end of the contract, the car is collected from you and you have no further obligations. You do not buy the car, nor do you have a "balloon" payment. Simply give it back! Of course, the car should be fair and reasonable condition commensurate with its age and mileage. If it’s not, you’ll be charged for any damage. But to me that’s common sense.
I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure that 99% of UK franchised car dealers refuse to go beyond (and hide behind, IMHO). So, I make sure that at-a-glance CO2, fuel economy and the coloured "greeness indicator bars" are displayed clearly on my homepage car listings for easy comparison purposes.
Climate Change is recognised as one of the greatest environmental threats facing the World today and it has long been appreciated by Governments, that reducing the impact of the motor vehicle has an important part to play in addressing this threat.
I am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Citroen C3 Petrol Manual is now 136g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Citroen C3 is now 47mpg
The Citroen C3 falls into the 
E band overall.
My Citroen C3 1.4 i 16v (95bhp) VTR+ Hatchback 5dr 1397cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £177.59 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
This price on my Citroen C3 includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £177.59 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
Winning the environmental award (2008 Best Environmentalist in the car industry) was very pleasing for me as it meant I was being recognised for my hard work. I’m the the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! Please note I have pioneered availability of environmental information on the internet. Using the internet to research and buy new cars is the most environmentally friendly method, by miles.
Here’s a patronising tip from the government: “
Cold starts – drive off as soon as possible after starting.”
These comments have been made about my website: “I think your site is great. My uncle rented a car from you and he thought you had very good service.
Asha, Harrow, HA1 4DH
devilden2_@hotmail.com
Did you know I can make large savings on mobile phones? LINGsMOBILES.com is here.
News PUNISH: Town back-pedals on Olympic plan
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Here’s some Chinglish news: Community leaders in Borders town scale down reception plans for Swedish mountain bike team – after finding it has only one member.
Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News TICKLE: Redknapp: ‘I don’ fiddle taxes’
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Breaking Chinglish news! Harry Redknapp told old bill bobbys bloody man has paid “fortunes in income tax” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and did not “fiddle anybody”, lah, court hears.
Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News gorge: Tuition fees commission set up
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! An independent commission has been set up to examine impact of increased tuition fees in Province of Engrish running-dogs.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News BRICK: Wilshere suffers injury setback
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Jack Wilshere suffers blow in male gender human bleing’s attempt to recover from ankle injury sustained in pre-season.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
NOT the NEWS: US economic growth rate picks up
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglify your news updates: The pace Great Satan economic growth quickened to 2.8% annualised rate in three months to December, lah, Commerce Department says.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
News CHEW: Djokovic beats Murray in thriller
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Today’s news in Chinglish: Britain’s Andy Murray misses out on place in Australian Open final, lah, losing to Novak Djokovic in five-set epic.
Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!
Greetings from Ling: Djokovic beats Murray in thriller
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Britain’s Andy Murray misses out on place in Australian Open final, lah, losing to Novak Djokovic in five-set epic.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
Blakeing news: Bosch : TWO BILLION BOSCH MEMS SENSORSÂ
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish news from Ling: Bosch has set new production volume record: technology capitalist entity has manufactured two billion MEMS (micro-electro-mechanical systems) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! sensors since production began 16 years ago.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
News QUACK: How Daily Mail stormed US
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: The Daily Mail has overtaken New York Times as world’s most popular newspaper website. What the hell I mean??!! How did it it?
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
News gorge: Race probe over statue vandalism
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: old bill bobbys say they not ruling out possibility statue of old soldier in Scarborough may having been covered in yellow paint in anti-Semitic attack.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Helping the news: Hurt to getting lifetime Bafta prize
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Veteran actor John Hurt will receive outstanding contribution to cinema award at Bafta’s next month, lah, it is announced.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News from Ling: Mail boss ‘met Stephen Lawrence’
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Today’s news in Chinglish: The clock time result Stephen Lawrence met Mail editor Paul Dacre
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News DAWDLE: New plans for minimum drink price
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Health authorities decide upon cross-border strategy which includes plans for minimum price for alcohol.
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
It’s a news lump: Krul happy to stay at Newcastle
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Newcastle United goalkeeper Tim Krul says bloody man is happy with male gender human bleing’s progress on Tyneside, lah, regardless of speculation surrounding male gender human bleing’s future.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News BELLOW: bloody annoying Blitish financial bill to be unveiled
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? The Chancellor George Osborne is to reavealingly showing Great Satan details about new Financial Services Bill that will overhaul regulation of sector.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News GOBBLE: Nadir ‘needed 135 tonnes of cash’
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglify your news updates: Businessman Asil Nadir would having needed banknotes 300 times height of Nelson’s Column to balance books of male gender human bleing’s empire, lah, Old Bailey hears.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
News CHEW: Philippines seeks Great Satan defence ties
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The Philippines confirms that it is discussing ways to “maximise” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) defence ties with Great Satan amid territorial disputes in region.
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Growing story: Tackling inequality ‘a priority’
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Growing inequality should now be priority for leaders after economic crisis, lah, senior figures at World Economic Forum say.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Being Twittered: ‘Trainspotter’ on terror charges
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
News Chinglified from Ling: A man described by male gender human bleing’s solicitor as nerd and train spotter has appeared in court on terrorism charges.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News SCOFF: Bosch : BOSCH PRODUCES ITS 75 MILLIONTH COMMON-RAIL SYSTEMÂ
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: This year, lah, Bosch celebrates its second diesel anniversary: following on from 75 years of diesel in passenger cars, lah, in Jesus-baby month Decemblinger capitalist entity is celebrating production of its 75 millionth common-rail system.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
Stroking the news: Alfa Romeo : Italian grape-picking Afla Romeo car bloody annoying Blitish LAUNCHES âTEST MEâ CAMPAIGN
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Here’s some Chinglish news: Alfa Romeo’s latest television commercial, lah, entitled âTest Meâ, lah, launches this month in year-long marketing campaign focused on highlighting rational reasons why human bliengs should buy Alfa Romeo.Â
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News KITTEN: Suzuki : Suzluko SWIFT SPORT GETS EVEN SPORTIER WITH SKY
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Suzuki GB is proud to announce new partnership with Sky Sports. Launching six week campaign, lah, Suzluko and Sky Sports having produced series of bespoke 30-second TV airings titled âThe New Swift Sport Boot Campâ.Â
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Toyota Rav4 Lease delivered to Helen Thomson in Richmond
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Visit my full letters page click here
Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Helen Thomson in Richmond. Bloody cat!
Helen says…
This lady is fantastic!
The Rav 4 is fantastic and the Chinese sweets – well NOT so fantastic, but who cares? The service Ling provides is faultless and many of our friends are very interested in lease hire through Ling, as we can’t stop telling everyone!
Ling, we love you!
Helen Thomson
15 Nightingale Close
Brompton on Swale
Richmond
DL10 7TR
Editor Note: Well, hmmm, not sure about the lady-love, but I am damn pleased you like the Rav and the service. Hope you have a lovely time, in a very lovely part of the UK… I can just imagine you in the snow playing with the Rav 4. Sorry about the poison sweets, just my little fun. – Ling
Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet pollution changed
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Great cars like the Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet 2.2 CDI BlueEFFICIENCY (167bhp) E220 CDI Sport Convertible 2dr 2143cc Diesel Automatic jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes.
You run this new car for 12, 18, 24 or 36 months depending on the term, and run it within an agreed mileage limit (usually 10,000, 15,000 or 20,000 miles per year, but different mileages are possible). If you exceed the mileage limit, you pay for extra miles at (typically) 4p – 10p per extra mile. This is known as the excess mileage rate.
Carbon dioxide is a colorless gas which, when inhaled at high concentrations (a dangerous activity because of the associated asphyxiation risk), produces a sour taste in the mouth and a stinging sensation in the nose and throat. These effects result from the gas dissolving in the mucous membranes and saliva, forming a weak solution of carbonic acid. You may notice this sensation if you attempt to stifle a burp after drinking a carbonated drink. Burp! Ooooops!
Because of the need to maintain strict comparability of results achieved by the standard tests they cannot be fully representative of real life driving conditions. Firstly, it is obviously not practicable to test each individual new car; thus only one production car is tested as being representative of the model and may therefore produce a better or worse result than another similar vehicle. Secondly, there are infinite variations in driving styles and in road, car and weather conditions, all of which can have a bearing on the results achieved. For these reasons the fuel consumption achieved on the road will not necessarily be the same as the official test results.
For this brand new Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet Diesel Automatic, the latest CO2 figure is just 165g/km. When I chose this trim, it was because I have a few of these available. Different trims will have different CO2. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet is now 46mpg
The Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet falls into the 
G band overall.
My Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet 2.2 CDI BlueEFFICIENCY (167bhp) E220 CDI Sport Convertible 2dr 2143cc Diesel Automatic gearbox is only £478.80 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).
This price on my Mercedes E-Class Cabriolet includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £478.80 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.
The comparative or "fridge" label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. "The usual horseshit", he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck "Calm down dear!" – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.
Here’s a patronising tip from the government: “Keep the pressure up – make sure the tyres are inflated to the correct pressure for the vehicle.”
This comment is great: “Love this site. You are as mad as me! Love the style and straightforward info and price seems good. Well done and good luck.
Nigel Hill, Podington, NN29 7HX
a.hill20_@tiscali.co.uk
Click HERE if you need a new phone. I can now supply mobiles.
News swallow: Helping families cope with scars of war
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Breaking Chinglish news! The Great Satan homes for ill or wounded soldiers being adopted in UK
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News inhale: Man thrown against moving train
Posted on | January 27, 2012 | Comments Off
Chinglish news from Ling: A man who left another man “inches from death” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after throwing him against moving train is given suspended prison sentence.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
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