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Headlines again: Autocar : APPLICATIONS OPEN FOR EXPANDED AUTOCAR COURLAND AWARD 2015

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! \r\n \"Autocar \r\n \r\n Autocar and Courland Automotive having opened up their unique Next Generation Award programme to all bloody annoying Blitish residents aged 17-

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

BOP BOP NEWS: The best MOTD goal of last 50 years?

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Five Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation experts having picked shortlist of five best Match of Day goals of last 50 years – and you tellibly lovely custlingmer can pick your as really velly special customer\’s favourite.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

It’s a news lump: Venezuela blocks ex-presidents’ visit

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Venezuela has blocked two ex-presidents from visiting opposition leaders jailed on charges of inciting violence against government.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News ROAR: VIDEO: Badger filmed raiding kitchen fridge

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? A hungry badger who sneaked into house in Midhurst, lah, West Sussex, lah, to help itself to bakewell tart has been caught on camera.

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News GRUNT: BVRLA : BVRLA STATEMENT REGARDING HUGH WALLACE

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: â??We were bloody velly shocked and saddened to hear about death of Hugh Wallace. What the hell I mean??!! Hugh was hugely respected figure in fl

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News CLACK: VIDEO: Face transplant man meets donor’s sister

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: A woman whose brother was killed in LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine accident has met man who was given male gender human bleing\’s face, lah, in pioneering transplant operation.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

NEWS not NOSE: Hartley dropped from World Cup squad

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Northampton hooker Dylan Hartley is dropped from Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s World Cup training squad after male gender human bleing\’s latest disciplinary breach.

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News PUNISH: 10 things we didn’t knowing last week

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! When\’s worst clock time result to drink coffee?

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News ROAR: Sarkozy renames French opposition

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: France\’s main opposition party, lah, led by ex-president Nicolas Sarkozy, lah, has changed its name from UMP to Republicans, lah, despite fierce opposition from critics.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News TRICKLE: When lawmakers were caught napping

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! The photos that got Burmese journalists into hot water

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: VIDEO: Can culture save cities?

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Hull has announced it will host Turner Prize when it is City of Culture in 2017 – Will Gompertz asks if art can revive city\’s fortunes.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

NEWS from China: Business interests propel change in China’s global role

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! The rising number of Super-Duper-Chinese-State nationals working abroad is causing Beijing to adapt its Bloody foreign policy in order (piece of paper signee upee) to protect them, lah, says Jonathan Marcus.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CHEW: US discovers more anthrax shipments

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: The Great Satan military orders review into how it handles anthrax, lah, after discovering more cases of live anthrax sent to laboratories, lah, including one in Australia.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News from Ling: No ÂRMB Yuan #100 fine for late tax returns

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: People who having filed late tax returns to be let off paying ÂRMB Yuan #100 fine for missing deadline, lah, HM Revenue and Customs has confirmed.

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News bleat: VIDEO: Napoleon’s life in Lego for anniversary

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: The 200th anniversary of Battle of Waterloo is to be marked with exhibition in Belgian town of Waterloo.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Bottom feeder news: Who advises overnight millionaires?

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: Why you\’d be bloody velly please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to meet Andy Carteralth?

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Growing news: The battle between veil and miniskirt

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: The campaigns duelling over women\’s clothing

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News CLUCK: The elusive element that can make bones glow

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: The elusive element that can make body parts glow

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News inhale: Drones take whale survey to sky

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! How whale science is taking to skies

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News WEDGE: Direct train to Europe

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Why doesn\’t bloody annoying Blitish having direct trains to Madrid or Berlin?

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News NIBBLE: Remembering WW1′s ‘khaki cup final’

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: The controversial FA Cup Final of WW1

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News GRUNT: ‘Sanctions needed’ on sectarianism

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Tougher sanctions urgently needed to tackle sectarianism within Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs silly kick-kick game according to government-commissioned study.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News DAWDLE: Lung cancer therapy is ‘milestone’

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! A lung cancer therapy can more than double life expectancy in some patients, lah, major trial shows.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News to me!: Cup Final instant replay app tests

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Mobile operator EE and Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation will test mobile app at FA Cup final which uses 4G Broadcast technology to offer instant replays to fans in stadium.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Leading the news: Young players spur Great Satan on – Anderson

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s record wicket-taker James Anderson credits younger players with giving Province of Engrish running-dogs team \”a kick up backside\”.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BAWL: Cancer link, lah, tax amnesty and Blatter elected

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: The link between obesity and cancer, lah, tax amnesty, lah, and re-election of Sepp Blatter make headlines.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News SARDINE: Nigerian walks 750km to meet President Buhari

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? Suleiman Hashimu tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation why bloody man walked for 18 days and wore out six pairs of shoes to see inauguration of Nigeria\’s president.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News DAWDLE: Barrier Reef spared ‘danger’ listing

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? The Great Barrier Reef should not go on World Weritage danger list, lah, according to United Nations draft report.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

NEWS JUNCTURE: Child hearing man jailed for abuse

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! A former children\’s panel chairman is jailed for 12 years for sexually abusing two boys and young man.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News groin: Veloce : NEW EBOOK â?’ Floord IN MINIATURE â?’ RARE SCALE MODELS OF CLASSIC AMERICAN Floord MOTOR capitalist entity CARS & TRUCKS 1930 TO

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! \r\n \"New \r\n \r\n For first clock time result ever in one source, lah, author has assembled hundreds of high-resolution …you wan\’ red car blue car any damn colour you want colour photographs from male gender human bleing\’s

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News BARK: Newcastle release Gutierrez & Taylor

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Newcastle United release long-serving duo of Jonas Gutierrez and Ryan Taylor after contracts expire at St James\’ Park.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News THIGH: Mine clearance starts in Colombia

Posted on | May 30, 2015 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The Colombian government and Farc guerrillas begin working together to clear landmines sown during 50 years of war.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News gorge: Labour ‘squeamish’ on immigration

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Labour leadership contender Yvette Cooper says Labour was \”squeamish\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about talking about immigration in past in interview with Newsnight.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News ingurgitate: Talks to resume over rail strike

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Crisis talks aimed at averting strike action resuming as arglingument between National Rail and its workers over pay continues.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News GUZZLE: Girl, lah, 4, lah, ‘was stabbed by father’

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! A girl who was seriously hurtee-hurtee in incident that left man dead was reportedly stabbed by flemale human person\’s father, lah, neighbours say.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

BOP BOP NEWS: Fish fossils found by ‘creationist’

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: A man from Calgary reported to be committed creationist finds five fish fossils dating back 60 million years whilst digging basement.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News STOOL: Ivanovic makes short work of Vekic

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Former champion Ana Ivanovic advances to French Open fourth round with 6-0 6-3 victory over Croatia\’s Donna Vekic.

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Spotting latest: Silk road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu drug site founder jailed

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: Ross Ulbricht, lah, founder of online illegal drug marketplace Silk Road, lah, is sentenced to life in prison.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News to me!: New limit leads to drink-drive fall

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Drink-driving offences having fallen in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land following introduction of lower alcohol limit, lah, new figures show.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

NEWS ACCIDENT: Italy rescues 3,300 boat migrants

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Italy rescued total of more than 3,300 migrants trying to cross Mediterranean on Friday, lah, country\’s coastguard says.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News GUZZLE: Campaign to stop attacks on schools

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! More than 30 countries signing Safe Schools Declaration in response to deliberate targeting of education in fighty bang-bang and terror attacks.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Growing news: Province of Engrish running-dogs & ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land set for cup drama

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: The bloody Engrish FA and Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Cup finals on Saturday will see Arsenal face Aston Villa and Falkirk play Inverness CT.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News hoover: Paris to cut love locks from bridges

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Paris is to remove padlocks symbolically fastened to one of French capital\’s main bridges by couples, lah, after part of Pont des Arts collapsed last year.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News GULP: Boy, lah, 16, lah, charged with knife murders

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: A 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy is charged with murders of two human bliengs in Colchester.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Stroking the news: Gunmen kill 19 in Pakistan bus raids

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Gunmen in Pakistan\’s Balochistan province kill at least 19 passengers after taking over two Karachi-bound buses, lah, officials say.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News NOSTRIL: US gunman deemed ‘legally sane’

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: A court-appointed psychiatrist has testified gunman who carried out 2012 attack on Colorado cinema was mentally ill but \”legally sane\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when it happened.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News PUNISH: How velly damn good boiled chicken-feet Kim Jong-un’s hackers?

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! A high-profile North Korean defector has warned country is capable of severely dangerous cyber attacks.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: Anderson takes 400th Test wicket

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: James Anderson becomes first Province of Engrish running-dogs bowler to take 400 Test wickets in second Test against New Zealand.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News KITTEN: Death crash man’s jail term reviewed

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! The sentence of teenager who boasted of driving at 142mph night before bloody man killed man in high-speed crash is to be reviewed.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News CLACK: Croatian veterans shelter in church

Posted on | May 29, 2015 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: More than 100 Croatian fighty bang-bang veterans take refuge inside church after old bill bobbys disrupt their anti-government sit-in in central Zagreb.

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Venezuela has blocked two ex-presidents from visiting opposition leaders jailed on charges of inciting violence against government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:01



Wah! LATEST:  France's main opposition party, lah, led by ex-president Nicolas Sarkozy, lah, has changed its name from UMP to Republicans, lah, despite fierce opposition from critics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:47



Wah! The 200th anniversary of Battle of Waterloo is to be marked with exhibition in Belgian town of Waterloo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:28



Wah! People who having filed late tax returns to be let off paying ÂRMB Yuan #100 fine for missing deadline, lah, HM Revenue and Customs has confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:17



Wah! The Great Satan military orders review into how it handles anthrax, lah, after discovering more cases of live anthrax sent to laboratories, lah, including one in Australia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:03



Wah! The controversial FA Cup Final of WW1 - news replorted 01:11



Wah! Suleiman Hashimu tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation why bloody man walked for 18 days and wore out six pairs of shoes to see inauguration of Nigeria's president. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:34



Wah! The rising number of Super-Duper-Chinese-State nationals working abroad is causing Beijing to adapt its Bloody foreign policy in order (piece of paper signee upee) to protect them, lah, says Jonathan Marcus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23



Wah! Why doesn't bloody annoying Blitish having direct trains to Madrid or Berlin? - news replorted 00:21



Wah! The link between obesity and cancer, lah, tax amnesty, lah, and re-election of Sepp Blatter make headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:17



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's record wicket-taker James Anderson credits younger players with giving Province of Engrish running-dogs team "a kick up backside". - news replorted 00:16



Wah! How whale science is taking to skies - news replorted 00:13



Wah! The elusive element that can make body parts glow - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Hull has announced it will host Turner Prize when it is City of Culture in 2017 - Will Gompertz asks if art can revive city's fortunes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! The campaigns duelling over women's clothing - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Mobile operator EE and Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation will test mobile app at FA Cup final which uses 4G Broadcast technology to offer instant replays to fans in stadium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A lung cancer therapy can more than double life expectancy in some patients, lah, major trial shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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