LINGsCARS.com – Blog

I am Ling! Cheap new UK cars, life, noodles and fried rice… join in!

Bmw 3-series Saloon Lease delivered to Paul Stevens in Twyford

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Paul Stevens replied with a letter back to me about the Bmw 3-series Saloon that was delivered, new. Here it is:

Paul says…
carLINGsCARS made the process of arranging my new company car fun and the LINGO system kept me up to date with the status of my BMW application at all times. Good delivery, prompt as promised.

Paul Stevens
Av Consortium Limited Trading As Forward Vision Solutions
156 London Road
Ruscombe
Twyford
RG10 9HJ

BMW 3-Series SaloonEditor Note: Wow, I haven’t done many BMWs this year, but I found you a great deal on your new 3-series, Paul. Go and have some fun in it, I hope you have a great 3-years at the wheel. Nice cars, I had a BMW 3-series, 2-years ago and enjoyed it immensely. Great to help you out. – Ling

Toxic gases on the Honda Jazz

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Honda JazzThe impact of CO2 is important. I always compare my figures with the Government data, so when it changes, like on this Honda Jazz Petrol Manual, I note it here in my blog.

Honda JazzHave you ever rented a self-drive car for a day or a week? Well, Contract Hire is exactly the same, just for a longer period. Easy, isn’t it? It’s available for businesses or for private individuals. You may have seen me turning down investment on Dragon’s Den! Read on to understand how it works. Occasionally, I can supply PCP, leasing and lease hire (but not often). If you’re reading this because you are unsure if you should use LINGsCARS.com, have a look at my 900+ customer letters.

EnvironmentI also took the decision to code into HTML and make available for printing the "Comparative Labels" or the "fridge" type labels you see at Comet and Curry’s on new fridges and washing machines. No other UK website bothers (or wants) to give their customers this information. One day they will be forced to do this. I have made my code freely available for any dealer who wants to use it, and published a tutorial on how to include this in their websites. This was published on the Automotive Management forum on 26th October 2006. To date, no dealer has contacted me to use my code.

Hybrid vehicles combine an internal combustion engine with an electric motor and battery. There are various ways in which hybrid vehicles can operate. For example the electric motor can be used to provide additional power during acceleration and high load conditions. The battery can then be recharged by the internal combustion engine or from energy absorbed during braking, or, in some cases, from an external electrical supply. Hybrid vehicles offer reduced fuel consumption and CO2 with potentially some reduction in emissions of local pollutants.

Enviroment LabelWorking it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 128g/km for the Honda Jazz Petrol Manual. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Honda Jazz is now 52mpg

The Honda Jazz falls into the D D band overall.

My Honda Jazz 1.4 i-VTEC (98bhp) ES Hatchback 5dr 1339cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £226.14 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

HondaThis price on my Honda Jazz includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £226.14 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Honda JazzThe comparative or "fridge" label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. "The usual horseshit", he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck "Calm down dear!" – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalUse higher gears, as soon as traffic conditions allow.”

Read this website comment. I really try my best! (email address altered) “What a great site – I didn’t know that leasing a car could actually be funny. If I buy a car, can I pay in Yuan?
Noel Ryan, St Neots, PE19 1NP
noel_ryan_@tiscali.co.uk

Using a mobile phone is better than driving. You can buy the cheapest mobile deal HERE.

LingsMobiles

Not about cars: Balls criticises Bulger comments

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Children’s Secretary Ed Balls criticises children’s commissioner for “ill advised” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger’s killers.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News CLUCK: Call for children fitness tests

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Fitness tests should be introduced for children in secondary schools to help make human bliengs more active, lah, chief medical officer for Province of Engrish running-dogs says.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News and more: Virgin Atlantic creates 200 jobs

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Virgin Atlantic is creating 200 jobs with opening of new clustomler service (???) I wan’ service , I wan’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service centre.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Harley-davidson Softail Lease delivered to David Goodman in Aldershot

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

Customers often send me letters, I have 1497 in total! It keeps the postman busy. These letters are all hard copies, and none are invented. This one is from David Goodman

David says…
carWhen I first discovered I was having a midlife crisis and therefore needed a Harley Davidson Fatboy, a quick search on Google brought LingsCars.com to the top of the page. As I‘d seen the famous episode of Dragons Den, I knew that the experience would be …different‘ from many other leasing companies I‘ve used in the past.

Every step of the process was a pleasure and the superb …Lingo‘ secure chat area was easy to use. I was always excited to get a new message or update and I never had to ’do the chasing“ as with all the others. All in all, Ling and her team were a pleasure to deal with and I cannot recommend them enough.

******* Harley Davidson were very helpful and did not let down the hard work of Ling, excellent delivery.

David Goodman
Swiftest Aldershot Ltd
17 Blackwater Way
Aldershot
GU12 4DN

Harley-Davidson SoftailEditor Note: You were a funny onion, you even forced me to hide the delivery of the bike from your wife who still does not know you have it. It had to be delivered when she was not at your business. So funny. Hope she does not read this, or a divorce will be on the cards. What a lovely nutter you were, Dave. If anyone needs an MOT, in Aldershot, visit Fatboy Dave. He will pass any old banger, if you threaten to grass him to his wife! :)Ling

My Skoda Octavia vRS is more economical now?

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Skoda Octavia vRSDon’t spend so much on fuel! If you get a new Skoda Octavia vRS Diesel 2.0 TDI CR 16v (170bhp) Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Manual, then you will spend less because the CO2 value has changed. That means more MPG.

Skoda Octavia vRSPersonal Contract Hire is exactly the same as contract hire for businesses. This is the beauty of getting a car like this, as you benefit from FLEET BONUSES! However, VAT makes a difference. Businesses get the rentals shown ex-VAT (they can often reclaim half of it), whereas private purchasers have it included in the rentals.

EnvironmentIf showroom-based car dealers fail to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, it renders them liable on conviction to a fine of up to £5,000. This is why dealers miraculously acheive these "minimum standards" – under threat of a £5,000 fine!

In 1993 exhaust emission limits, (generally referred to as the Euro 1 standards) were introduced for new cars which resulted in the adoption of advanced emission control techniques, e.g. catalysts. More stringent emission limits came into effect in 1997 (Euro 2) and 2001 (Euro 3) and 1st January 2005 (Euro 4). Euro 4 came fully into force on 1st January 2007 and now covers most new cars on sale.

Enviroment LabelI am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Skoda Octavia vRS Diesel Manual is now 150g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Skoda Octavia vRS is now 49mpg

The Skoda Octavia vRS falls into the F F band overall.

My Skoda Octavia vRS 2.0 TDI CR 16v (170bhp) Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £287.86 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

SkodaThis price on my Skoda Octavia vRS includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £287.86 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Skoda Octavia vRSOne of my best awards was the 2008 best non-franchise environmentalist, awarded by Automotive Management. The web is fickle, I have noticed LINGsCARS is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! My website won "BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007" in the Automotive Management Awards.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalPlan ahead – choose uncongested routes, combine trips, car share.”

I have so many of these website comments, they are overflowing on my desk! “I think it’s a very clever way of getting people to visit your excellent site and am truly in stitches! Hope the business goes well and well done on an excellent site!
Tom Yates, Manchester, M20 2LW
tom_@orchardhosting.com

If you need a mobile phone, I can find you the best price HERE

LingsMobiles

Toyota Corolla Verso Lease delivered to Stephen Rose in Wakefield

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Stephen Rose. I delivered this Toyota Corolla Verso to Wakefield then I got this very nice letter back…

Stephen says…
CarMany thanks, Ling. The Toyota Verso was delivered on time and was everything I expected (I TELL you Verso is good car! – Ling). A personal service for a one car personal contract hire – prompt to respond to email and phone questions; excellent! The supplying dealer was very professional. Many thanks Ling.

Stephen Rose
1 Buckthorne Court
East Ardsley
Wakefield
WF3 2DD

 Editor Note: Ah, my husband was born in Wakefield! I have visited many times. Another Corolla Verso! These becoming VERY popular cars, but still under radar – Ling

Emission figures on the Kia Sportage

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Kia SportageChecking against the values I publish for the Kia Sportage 2.0 CRDi (138bhp) XE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1991cc Diesel Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.

Kia SportageMany large organisations such as CD Bramall, Perrys, Lombard, Lex, Pendragon, Network, BMW Finance, Citroen Finance, and Renault UK and many other suppliers queue up to make their cars available to me at LINGsCARS.com because they know they will benefit from a supply of ready and waiting quality customers, fast sales and efficient communications.

EnvironmentOn new cars for example, average CO2 has been cut by more than 10 per cent in six years. Improvements at manufacturing sites have been more significant. Published in September, the SMMT’s seventh annual sustainability report showed that average energy used – and CO2 emitted – to produce each vehicle in the UK has been halved in just four years.

The external noise emitted by passenger cars has been controlled since 1929 when the Motor Cars (Excessive Noise) regulations were introduced. New cars are now required to meet Europe-wide noise limits. These have been progressively reduced from 82 decibels (dB(A)) in 1978 to the current limit of 74 dB(A) established in 1996. This means it would take 7 new vehicles to make the same amount of noise as a vehicle that just meets the pre-1978 limits.

Enviroment LabelThe CO2 for this Kia Sportage Diesel Manual is better than it was, at just 184g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Kia Sportage is now 40mpg

The Kia Sportage falls into the I I band overall.

My Kia Sportage 2.0 CRDi (138bhp) XE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1991cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £270.24 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

KiaThis price on my Kia Sportage includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £270.24 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Kia SportageSir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalDo not compromise safety but be aware that the use of onboard electrical devices increases fuel consumption.”

Look at this comment. It is not just me who is a mentalist. “Mad as a Frog Eyed Sprite!
Nick Cater, Langport, TA10 0DL
winningentry_@hotmail.com

Don’t buy a mobile until you have checked out LINGsMOBILES.com. Loads of cheap phones, there.

LingsMobiles

News ARMPIT: Darfur rebel row jeopardises deal

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: A deadline for Darfur rebels and Sudan’s government to finalise peace deal is unlikely to be met, lah, amid rebel split.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Being Twittered: Four arrested in murder inquiry

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? old bill bobbys make four arrests after body of 46-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man was discovered at male gender human bleing’s home in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys on Friday.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News ROAR: Street star out of Dancing on Ice

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Coronation Street actor Danny Young is voted off ITV1’s Dancing on Ice following costly mistake in skate-off.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News ROAR: Pledge on green energy ambitions

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: The environment dodgy minister is expected to claim (always claiming, huh?) Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has potential to produce twice its renewable energy needs in future.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

NEWS EXPLOIT: David Miliband in China for talks

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: The bloody annoying Blitish Bloody foreign Secretary David Miliband is in China to hold discussions with country’s political leaders.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Newsy TRICKLE: Two to face explosives charges

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Two men in their 20s due to appear in court in Newry later charged with possessing explosives. Eating rice!!

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News breaker: China buying Argentine oil stake

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: China National Offshore Oil Corporation is paying $3.1bn for 50% stake in Argentine oil and gas group Bridas Corporation.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme News, DOG: BA strike flights to be revealed

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: British Airways will announce which flights will be cancelled because of strike planned for next weekend.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Newsy newsy: Whale of crime?

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Greens can’t getting Japan to blubber for dead whales

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News breaker: In pictures

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Best in Show finale brings Crufts Dog Show to close

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Newsy TRICKLE: Sleep lessons could cheer up grumpy teenagers say experts

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News ROAR: Thai protesters monthly number-three on barracks

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Thousands of Thai anti-government protesters monthly number-three on barracks where Prime dodgy minister Abhisit Vejjajiva is staying.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CLACK: Students die in India bus crash

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: At least 26 students killed and dozens hurt when bus plunges into river in India’s northern state of Rajasthan.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Not about cars: Live – Bangladesh v Province of Engrish running-dogs

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Ian Bell and Matt Prior resume for Province of Engrish running-dogs as tourists move towards declaration on day four of first Test against Bangladesh.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News swallow: MPs criticise equalities chairman

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Can you understand Chinglish news? A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing’s reappointment.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News RAT: UN boss reassures Haiti victims

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Ban Ki-moon tells Haiti world will continue to support them as they recover from devastating earthquake.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

NEWS ACCIDENT: Mission: Impossible actor dies

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Peter Graves – star of TV series Mission: Impossible and Airplane films – dies in Los Angeles, lah, aged 83.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News WEDGE: No quick fix for diabetes risk

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Exercise and diet key to prevent diabetes in high-risk people, lah, say researchers who found two drug treatments offer no benefit.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

NEWS EXPLOIT: New deal for rape victims urged

Posted on | March 15, 2010 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Rape victims should having specialist adviser to support them after attack, lah, major review recommends.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Growing news: Yogi Hungarian Vizla wins Best in Show at Crufts

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Here’s some Chinglish news: A Hungarian Vizsla named Yogi wins Best In Show at Crufts, lah, at end of four-day show in Birmingham.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: Avalanche hits snowmobile rally

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: An avalanche hits unauthorised snowmobile rally in Canada, lah, killing at least two human bliengs and triggering search.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Helping the news: Tinie Tempah holds onto top spot

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Rapper Tinie Tempah holds onto number one spot for second week while Boyzone pip Gorillaz to top slot of album chart. Pass chopsticks!!

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News TRICKLE: US fury at Mexico consular deaths

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Three human bliengs connected to Great Satan consulate in Mexican city of Ciudad Juarez having been killed, lah, White House says.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Mazda Mx-5 Lease delivered to Dan Doughty in Chorley

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Dan Doughty in Chorley. Bloody cat!

Dan says…
car“Great car, great price and great service. Plus, a fun company to deal with. Had a bit of a misuderstanding with Jon over Xmas deliver schedules but other than that it all went through seamlessly. Car turned up on time, no problems.”

Dan Doughty
16 Spring Mews
Whittle Springs
Chorley
PR6 8AS

Mazda MX-5 RoadsterEditor Note: Dan, hmmm, it wasn’t a misunderstanding, just that you did not jump fast enough. Only so much time before Xmas to deliver cars and opportunities to deliver disappear at a machine-gun rate. Sorry about that. Never mind, it meant you can enjoy the booze over Christmas. As an aerospace engineer, I hope you sobered up before you went back to screwing the Eurofighters back together! – Ling

News ingurgitate: Sunderland 1-1 Man City

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Adam Johnson’s injury-time equaliser salvaged vital point for Manchester City in their bid to finish fourth in Premier League.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Fuel economy and CO2 change on my Honda Jazz

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Honda JazzAll the people with orders in my system for the Honda Jazz 1.4 i-VTEC (98bhp) ES Hatchback 5dr 1339cc Petrol Manual will be quite pleased by this news. I am making a change, because the environment stuff seems to have moved slightly.

Honda JazzSometimes you must resign yourself to fact that dealer will look after a retail customer first. Your delivery might be slightly delayed because they are fussing over a damn retail customer (paying £1000’s more than you), and you have to learn to relax. Most times these delays never happen, but sometimes they do, so I’m just preparing your brain and giving you tip.

EnvironmentMartin Callanan (Euro MP for the North East Region) said "Ling and her unique website LINGsCARS.com displays environmental information in a way that leads the UK motor industry. Following my discussions with her about greening the business, Ling has grasped the environmental nettle and is giving UK car buyers comprehensive environmental data on all new cars for sale in the UK to enable them to make an informed choice. LINGsCARS gives a fantastic amount of green information on her new cars, which the rest of the UK motor industry would do well to emulate. Using the internet is already the most energy efficient way of researching and buying a new car, so well done Ling for taking the personal responsibility to push this carbon data to the top of her agenda and to push environmental awareness a big step further"

Dealers are also required to display a poster – in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.

Enviroment LabelI am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Honda Jazz Petrol Manual is now 128g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Honda Jazz is now 52mpg

The Honda Jazz falls into the D D band overall.

My Honda Jazz 1.4 i-VTEC (98bhp) ES Hatchback 5dr 1339cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £226.14 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

HondaThis price on my Honda Jazz includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £226.14 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Honda JazzThe comparative or "fridge" label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. "The usual horseshit", he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck "Calm down dear!" – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalCheck your fuel consumption – it will help you get the most from the car, changes in overall fuel consumption may indicate a fault.”

Here is a comment about my website (I have disguised the email address) “Hello Ling, I found your site one of the most interesting and funny on the web. What a great concept, if only there were more people like you! Why don’t you have a recipe of the month? Your quiz was too hard for me and your teeshirt is cool.
Mary Nowell, East Kilbride, G75 8EQ
marynowell1_@hotmail.com

Click HERE if you need a new phone. I can now supply mobiles.

LingsMobiles

Honda Civic Type-r Lease delivered to Craig Lawrence in Falkirk

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Craig Lawrence replied with a letter back to me about the Honda Civic Type-r that was delivered, new. Here it is:

Craig says…
carLINGsCARS is a brilliant business. It allows me, as a young professional to have the car I want without the cost of repairs and a car that depreciates in value. Ling was lovely to deal with, speedy responses and a good fun attitude. I am a very happy customer. Excellent delivery, friendly driver, couldn’t fault anything.

Craig Lawrence
23 Conner Avenue
Carron
Falkirk
FK2 7FS

Honda Civic Type-REditor Note: Super duper letter, Craig! Thanks so much. You forgot to mention that as a Scottish ethnic you are tight in the money department, so I am sure you appreciated the fast car for slow money! Happy, happy! Your only challenge is insurance cost, but as car was as cheap as deep fried Mars bar, you have plenty of cash left for that. – Ling

Change on the Kia Sportage

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Kia SportageEveryone moans that things go up and up and up. Well, the CO2 on the Kia Sportage 2.0 CRDi (138bhp) XE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1991cc Diesel Manual has just come down! What a result! This post is to let you know.

Kia SportageHow to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but I will try to make this clear… You know, you are not buying this car. Only renting it for (probably 1 or 2 or 3 years). So you are not stuck with it forever. So, you have no real risk. You are going to pay someone some money to run a car however you look at it.

EnvironmentI am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure that 99% of UK franchised car dealers refuse to go beyond (and hide behind, IMHO). So, I make sure that at-a-glance CO2, fuel economy and the coloured "greeness indicator bars" are displayed clearly on my homepage car listings for easy comparison purposes.

EU Directive 1999/94/EC requires new car fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data to be made freely available to consumers. Car dealers are required to have a label showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions of each different model on display, either on or near the vehicle. Fuel consumption figures will be expressed both in litres per 100 kilometres (l/100 km) and in miles per gallon (mpg). The label will list the figures achieved in urban, extra-urban and combined conditions separately. From September of 2005, dealers had the option to produce a new "comparative" label. The new label shows the mandatory Fuel Consumption and CO2 figures mentioned previously, alongside information about the appropriate VED band for the vehicle. The new label is similar in design to the energy efficiency labels that appear on many ‘white goods’, such as fridge freezers

Enviroment LabelFor this brand new Kia Sportage Diesel Manual, the latest CO2 figure is just 184g/km. When I chose this trim, it was because I have a few of these available. Different trims will have different CO2. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Kia Sportage is now 40mpg

The Kia Sportage falls into the I I band overall.

My Kia Sportage 2.0 CRDi (138bhp) XE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1991cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £270.24 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

KiaThis price on my Kia Sportage includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £270.24 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Kia SportageSir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalSlow down – driving at high speeds significantly increases fuel consumption.”

I get tired of typing out these comments, but… here’s one. “Very original site! I am very impressed! I’ve put the site on my favorites list
Matt Lucy, Leeds, LS20 9DT
matthewluty_@hotmail.com

Mobile phones are cheap alternatives to a car. Click HERE to visit my phone site.

LingsMobiles

News from Ling: Meadows settles for Doha silver

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Jenny Meadows is pipped in final straight to take 800m silver – Britain’s third medal at World Indoor Championships.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Being Twittered: In pictures

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Get your Chinlish news update here: Bikers roar their appreciation of Wootton Bassett

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

NEWS EXPLOIT: Selection row Membling Partiamentary expense cheater fights concerns

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: A Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater caught up in reselection arglingument is fighting claim (always claiming, huh?) from local party members bloody woman is not up to job.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Nissan Qashqai Lease delivered to Derek Wibberley in Oldham

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Derek Wibberley in Oldham. Bloody cat!

Derek says…
carHi Ling, just to say what a fantastic service you offer – simple, friendly, relaxed, punctual and polite. Got to admit, it put a smile on my face dealing with you. Keep up the good work! Excellent delivery, first class service

Derek Wibberley
Manor Farm Cottage
55 Constantine Street
Oldham
OL4 3HE

Nissan Qashqai Plus2Editor Note: Having a smile on the faces of my customers is my simple goal, Derek. If you are happy, I am happy. Simple! Enjoy the Qashqai! – Ling

Green info has changed on the Honda Jazz

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Honda JazzCO2 CO2, CO2. It always seems to go up. The Honda Jazz 1.4 i-VTEC (98bhp) ES Hatchback 5dr 1339cc Petrol Manual seems to have reversed this trend. If you choose one of these, you will be pleased. Lower CO2 means lower fuel consumption.

Honda JazzAt the end of the contract, the car is collected from you and you have no further obligations. You do not buy the car, nor do you have a "balloon" payment. Simply give it back! Of course, the car should be fair and reasonable condition commensurate with its age and mileage. If it’s not, you’ll be charged for any damage. But to me that’s common sense.

EnvironmentOn new cars for example, average CO2 has been cut by more than 10 per cent in six years. Improvements at manufacturing sites have been more significant. Published in September, the SMMT’s seventh annual sustainability report showed that average energy used – and CO2 emitted – to produce each vehicle in the UK has been halved in just four years.

Dealers are also required to display a poster – in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.

Enviroment LabelThe CO2 for this Honda Jazz Petrol Manual is better than it was, at just 128g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Honda Jazz is now 52mpg

The Honda Jazz falls into the D D band overall.

My Honda Jazz 1.4 i-VTEC (98bhp) ES Hatchback 5dr 1339cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £226.14 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

HondaThis price on my Honda Jazz includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £226.14 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Honda JazzSir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalLose weight – don’t carry unnecessary weight, remove roof racks when not in use.”

A lot of people write comments. I get them all the time. This is one of the silliest: “I think that this is a great site. You got some cool crazy humour and jokes which had me rolling on the floor with laughter.
Tabassum Kadiri, Leicester, LE4 7NL
angel4eva25_@hotmail.com

I have a mobile phone website, now… HERE

LingsMobiles

Nissan Qashqai Lease delivered to Catherine Johnston in Gloucester

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Letter head
Visit my full letters page click here

I am amazed the Post Office needs to be privatised, the amount that my customers spend sending me letters about their new cars. Here, Catherine Johnston explains how they are getting on with their Nissan Qashqai

Catherine says…
carI‘m loving my Nissan Qashqai Ling – but that I could get anywhere. What is in short supply nowadays is good customer service and you provide that by the bucket load. Your efficient, humorous service is rare but oh so welcome and you made the whole process of leasing a car totally stress free. You certainly have the X Factor Ling – X-cellent, X-ceptional and X-traordinarily crazy!

Great delivery, car arrived when they said it would in perfect condition by a friendly driver.

Catherine Johnston
Imperial Marketing
12 Popes Meade
Highnam
Gloucester
GL2 8LH

Nissan Qashqai Plus2Editor Note: I’m X-tremely pleased with your letter, Catherine! You have a dead cheap Nissan Qashqai, and you were very nice to deal with, you made me laugh! Talk in a few years! – Ling

Pollutant levels on my Skoda Octavia vRS

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Skoda Octavia vRSIf you are interested in CO2 stuff, then read this. I have a new figure for the Skoda Octavia vRS 2.0 TDI CR 16v (170bhp) Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual and I am updating it on my website now.

Skoda Octavia vRSPhysical stock is always limited, as cars cannot be made to appear by magic, there are only so many sat in corner of field. So be brave, grab a bargain and avoid me having to make phone calls to disappointed people who have left decision too late. Remember that you have to pass finance before I can reserve you a car, so allow time for that!

EnvironmentMartin Callanan (Euro MP for the North East Region) said "Ling and her unique website LINGsCARS.com displays environmental information in a way that leads the UK motor industry. Following my discussions with her about greening the business, Ling has grasped the environmental nettle and is giving UK car buyers comprehensive environmental data on all new cars for sale in the UK to enable them to make an informed choice. LINGsCARS gives a fantastic amount of green information on her new cars, which the rest of the UK motor industry would do well to emulate. Using the internet is already the most energy efficient way of researching and buying a new car, so well done Ling for taking the personal responsibility to push this carbon data to the top of her agenda and to push environmental awareness a big step further"

Hybrid vehicles combine an internal combustion engine with an electric motor and battery. There are various ways in which hybrid vehicles can operate. For example the electric motor can be used to provide additional power during acceleration and high load conditions. The battery can then be recharged by the internal combustion engine or from energy absorbed during braking, or, in some cases, from an external electrical supply. Hybrid vehicles offer reduced fuel consumption and CO2 with potentially some reduction in emissions of local pollutants.

Enviroment LabelI have taken a typical model of this car from my website – the Skoda Octavia vRS Diesel Manual. For this car, the CO2 is now just 150g/km. Other trim levels might differ slightly. Click on the “fridge label” to get a enviroment label to print for this car. The combined cycle economy for this Skoda Octavia vRS is now 49mpg

The Skoda Octavia vRS falls into the F F band overall.

My Skoda Octavia vRS 2.0 TDI CR 16v (170bhp) Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £287.86 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

SkodaThis price on my Skoda Octavia vRS includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £287.86 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Skoda Octavia vRSRemember I won the best non-franchise environmentalist 2008 in the Automotive Industry Awards. Don’t let these manufacturers fool you; LINGsCARS is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! I have a Master’s Degree in Environmental Quality from Bournemouth Univeristy in 2000, plus a BSc in Applied Chemistry from Jinan University, Guanzhou in 1997.

Here’s a patronising tip from the government: EnvironmentalSwitch off – sitting stationary is zero miles per gallon, switch off the engine whenever it is safe to do so.”

This comment is great: “Very original site! I am very impressed! I’ve put the site on my favorites list
Matt Lucy, Leeds, LS20 9DT
matthewluty_@hotmail.com

If you need a mobile phone, I can find you the best price HERE

LingsMobiles

News breaker: Online favelas

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Benefits of web trickle down in Rio de Janeiro

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Greetings from Ling: Live – Bahrain Grand Prix

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel is in pole position for Bahrain Grand Prix, lah, with Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso just behind.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News NIBBLE: Vote tests French leader Sarkozy

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? France holds regional elections that expected to reflect disenchantment with President Sarkozy’s government.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News GUZZLE: Coal power station plan under way

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! The first stage of planning process to build coal plant with carbon capture technology in Ayrshire is to getting under way.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: BA strike is unjustified – Adonis

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Transport Secretary Lord Adonis attacks planned strike by British Airways cabin crew staff, lah, calling it “totally unjustified”.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News GUZZLE: US capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity regulation bill expected

Posted on | March 14, 2010 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? A new bill to tighten regulation of Great Satan banks is due to be unveiled on Monday, lah, but it may not gain Senate backing.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
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Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Ashok Kumar has suffered "sudden accidental" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) death at male gender human bleing's Middlesbrough home at age of 53. - news replorted 14:54



LATEST: A settlements row has pushed US-Israeli relations to their lowest point for 35 years, lah, top Israeli envoy is quoted as saying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 14:40



A victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of serial abuser Fr Brendan Smyth calls on head of Catholic Church in Ireland, lah, Cardinal Sean Brady, lah, to resign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:36



South African judge convicts ANC official Julius Malema of hate speech for insulting woman who accused Jacob Zuma of rape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:16



A second person is held over death of couple who were killed when fire in mobility scooter spread to their home in Rugby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:12



The Israeli military has ordered two West capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity villages at centre of protests against "separation wall" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) off-limits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:09



A man is arrested over death of mother-of-three who went missing after night out in Dundee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:08



Thailand's prime dodgy minister rejects protesters' demands for male gender human bleing's resignation, lah, as red-shirt rallies continue in Bangkok. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:57



Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown says bloody man wantings to "keep going", lah, after being asked if bloody man would resign if Labour failed to win general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:52



Children's Secretary Ed Balls criticises children's commissioner for "ill advised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



Children's Secretary Ed Balls criticises children's commissioner for "ill advised" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) written-down messages on dead tree about James Bulger's killers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



Governments need to crack down on illegal trade in tiger parts if big cats to be saved from extinction, lah, UN warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47



EU Bloody foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton begins Middle East tour amid tension over Israeli housing project in East Jerusalem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:22



Friends actor David Schwimmer is to marry male gender human bleing's British photographer girlfriend Zoe Buckman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:15



The chief executive of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Water is to give quarter of male gender human bleing's annual bonus to charity, lah, bloody man announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:13



The pay of university heads has soared with some now earning more than prime minister, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:12



Teenagers, lah, Shakespeare and Lady Gaga - news replorted 12:40



Virgin Atlantic is creating 200 jobs with opening of new clustomler service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service centre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:38



Fitness tests should be introduced for children in secondary schools to help make human bliengs more active, lah, chief medical officer for Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:31



The head of Catholic Church in autonomous province of Guinness drinkers says bloody man will only resign over alleged abuse "cover-up" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if Pope asks him to so. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:25



David Beckham is flying to Finland for surgery on male gender human bleing's Achilles tendon, lah, which looks set to rule him out of World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:18



Credit card holders will be offered more protection from spiralling debts, lah, but changes watered down from original plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:18



Prime dodgy minister Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown says planned strike by British Airways cabin staff is "unjustified" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and comes at "wrong time". - news replorted 12:15



India's government approves bill to allow Bloody foreign universities to set up campuses and offer degrees to students in India. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:12



Research suggests that key Tory constituencies could suffer most from Conservative policy on super-fast broadband. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:59



Two men in their 20s appear in court in Newry on Monday charged with terrorism offences after old bill bobbys operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:48



Robbie Williams' Sport Relief single, lah, Morning Sun, lah, fails to make top 40 bloody annoying Blitish singles chart. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:44



Most old bill bobbys forces in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep still unfairly target black and Asian human bliengs in their using of stop and search powers, lah, equality watchdog says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:42



An elderly woman suffered serious neglect at Teesside care home because of widespread failings, lah, review finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:41



A massive power failure plunges much of earthquake-hit Chile into darkness, lah, affecting up to 90% of population. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:37



Sixty-nine human bliengs arrested in six European countries as part of co-ordinated old bill bobbys operation against Georgian mafia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:34



Former patients of hospital consultant struck off after one of male gender human bleing's patients died speak of their suffering at male gender human bleing's hands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:31



A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing's reappointment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:31



Reindeer having "switched off" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) their internal body clocks to survive dark winters and light summers in Arctic. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:20



Hull City manager Phil "Dear Leader" Brown has been relieved of male gender human bleing's duties at struggling Premier League club and put on gardening leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:08



A new approach is needed to give greater priority to care and support of rape victims, lah, major review says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:06



The bloody annoying Blitish Bloody foreign Secretary David Miliband is in China to hold discussions with country's political leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59



Province of Engrish running-dogs require five wickets to win first Test against Bangladesh after hosts close day four on 191-5, lah, still 321 runs behind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:57



What is behind Nick Clegg's refusal to pick party? - news replorted 10:40



South East Asian nations ramping up their military capacity in move that could destabilise region, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:34



A man whose home was raided as part of terror probe says male gender human bleing's property has not been returned, lah, although inquiry was dropped. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:53



What UK's dotcom pioneers doing now? - news replorted 09:51



How serious is David Beckham's injury? - news replorted 09:41



The Great Satan gets ready for wars fought in cyberspace - news replorted 09:27



A deadline for Darfur rebels and Sudan's government to finalise peace deal is unlikely to be met, lah, amid rebel split. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09



Peter Graves - star of TV series Mission: Impossible and Airplane films - dies in Los Angeles, lah, aged 83. - news replorted 08:54



The chancellor must decide whether to put "his country before male gender human bleing's party" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in male gender human bleing's Budget next week, lah, George Osborne says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:53



The internet domain name dotcom celebrates its 25th anniversary as nearly 86 million active internet sites now using it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:49



Coronation Street actor Danny Young is voted off ITV1's Dancing on Ice following costly mistake in skate-off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 08:28



An inquiry is launched to find out how inmate at high-security Frankland jail managed to stab three officers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:25



David Beckham's dream of playing in fourth World Cup looks over after bloody man tears Achilles tendon in AC Milan's 1-0 win over Chievo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:11



old bill bobbys make four arrests after body of 46-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man was discovered at male gender human bleing's home in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:48



A suicide bomber explodes LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Iraqi city of Falluja, lah, killing at least seven human bliengs and wounding 13, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:31



China National Offshore Oil Corporation is paying $3.1bn for 50% stake in Argentine oil and gas group Bridas Corporation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:26



Gavin Hewitt on how mid-term polls seen in France - news replorted 07:23



Pakistani fighter jets target suspected Taliban hideouts in north-western Orakzai tribal area, lah, killing at least nine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:17



The Catholic primate of all-autonomous province of Guinness drinkers rejects calls to resign over claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody man helped cover up sex abuse investigation in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:52



The environment dodgy minister is expected to claim (always claiming, huh?) Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has potential to produce twice its renewable energy needs in future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:37



Brazil's president arrives in Israel at start of Middle East tour to throw male gender human bleing's country's weight behind peace process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:07



How German POWs helped build bloody Engrish icon - news replorted 06:01



The internet domain name dotcom celebrates its 25th anniversary as nearly 86 million active internet sites now using it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:55



Commissioner comes under fire over Venables - news replorted 05:25



At least 26 students killed and dozens hurt when bus plunges into river in India's northern state of Rajasthan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:19



Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:32



Pupils at four schools in Glasgow being given lessons in how to sleep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:32



President Sarkozy's party faces defeat from Socialists in regional elections, lah, which also saw strong showing by National Front. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:16



Bangladesh dig deep and take first Test into final day after Province of Engrish running-dogs's bowlers struggle to wrap up victory in Chittagong. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:56



Ban Ki-moon tells Haiti world will continue to support them as they recover from devastating earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:44



Best in Show finale brings Crufts Dog Show to close - news replorted 01:44



A parliamentary committee raise concerns over leadership of bloody annoying Blitish equalities chief Trevor Phillips and questions male gender human bleing's reappointment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:23



Cancer patients losing out on benefit payments worth millions of pounds, lah, according to leading charity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:23



Greens can't getting Japan to blubber for dead whales - news replorted 00:59



Exercise and diet key to prevent diabetes in high-risk people, lah, say researchers who found two drug treatments offer no benefit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:01



'They believe Mummy is angel watching them' - news replorted 00:01



There needs to be "radical overhaul" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu travel in bloody annoying Blitish to avoid future gridlock, lah, CBI warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



The royalties bloody annoying Blitish songwriters getting from online sales now growing faster than decline from CDs and DVDs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00




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Crash tests!
I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety!
Click HERE - Ling


My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Citroen 2CV dance!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Intent
Contract Hire And Leasing Ling's mantra. Power and cars to the people in the struggle against Tony Blair, petrol prices and repression! Click here for statement.

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Sidebar Letters
Sidebar Read my customer letters! Click on your own NAME and read letters from customers called the same name ...hehe!

LINGsCARS is verified by Norton Security

Who is Da Boss? Me!
Ling THE BOSS!
LINGsCARS.com is owned and operated by Ling Valentine.
I'm da boss!
Any problems, you can call me, OK?

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Rude Radio!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Ford Ka & a cat!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Road Safety!

Funny car leasing TV ads!