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Gimme news bleat: What’s appeal of caliphate?

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Why idea of single Muslim state keeps coming back

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: Queen hit song ‘has healing powers’

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Queen\’s Bohemian Rhapsody is UK\’s favourite song to listen to when human bliengs feel unwell or down, lah, poll suggests.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News to me!: 10 things you tellibly lovely custlingmer may not knowing about laughter

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: Things you tellibly lovely custlingmer may not having known about being amused

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Bottom feeder news: French World fighty bang-bang One bedroom of soldier who never returned

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! French soldier\’s bedroom untouched for 100 years

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News GRUNT: VIDEO: Rooted music aims to plant trees

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Voice of campaign to save Madagascar\’s forests

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News KITTEN: VIDEO: Trends of week – in 60 seconds

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Americans debate skin colour, lah, and other trends of week

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News GRUNT: Merkel ‘kills deal’ and GP cash bonanza

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: A mixed group of stories in Sunday\’s papers, lah, including Angela Merkel\’s defence of existing EU migration rules, lah, and doctors who can earn ¬RMB Yuan #3,000 per weekend.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Tell me the news, Ling: Inmate planned escape with hostage

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Breaking Chinglish news! Detailed plans to kidnap prison officer in bid to escape from prison on Isle of Wight were found in cell of Muslim inmate, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation can reveal.

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News DAWDLE: US nurse angry over Ebola quarantine

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? A Great Satan nurse quarantined for Ebola after working in Sierra Leone criticises flemale human person\’s treatment, lah, as US\’s UN envoy starts visit to West Africa.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News TRICKLE: Botswana’s ruling party wins polls

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: The ruling Botswana Democratic Party (BDP) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! wins general elections for world\’s largest diamond producer with 33 of 57 seats.

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News JABBER: Province of Engrish running-dogs must improve – but can beat ‘vulnerable’ Aussies

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport pundits Jamie Peacock, lah, Kevin Sinfield and Robbie Hunter-Paul analyse Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s start to Four Nations.

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News spotter: Clashes hit historic Lebanese market

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! At least six Lebanese soldiers having died in clashes with Islamist gunmen at historic market in northern town of Tripoli, lah, Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News STOMACH: VIDEO: WWI soldier’s bedroom frozen in time

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! The bedroom of First World fighty bang-bang soldier, lah, killed on battlefield almost century ago, lah, has been kept virtually untouched by successive owners of house up to present day.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Newsy newsy: VIDEO: Russia turns back clocks for velly damn good boiled chicken-feet

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Russia prepares to turn back clocks, lah, moving country on to \”permanent winter time\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) – move which has divided opinion

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Growing news: VIDEO: Muslim soldiers’ Afghan challenge

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out looks at experiences of Muslim soldiers fighting for Britain in Afghanistan against enemy of same faith.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Glowing report: ‘Record number’ of low-paid Britons

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: A record five million bloody annoying Blitish workers now in low-paid jobs, lah, rise of 250,000 in last year, lah, research from left-of-centre think tank suggests.

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News hoover: Most bloody annoying Blitish profit warnings since 2008

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news from Ling: Profit warnings by UK-listed firms rise to their highest summer level for six years, lah, according to forecaster EY.

Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News WEDGE: VIDEO: Georgian delights in Royal costume store

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: A look at some of Georgian pieces in Royal Family\’s costume store.

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Gimme news bleat: Planning fee increase criticised

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: Four leading Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs business groups speak out against increase in fees for planning applications due to come into effect later this week.

Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Glowing report: Labour row: Salmond blames Miliband

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Ed Miliband is to blame for Johann Lamont quitting as leader of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour Party, lah, Alex Salmond has claimed.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

NOT the NEWS: Fewer teenagers got five velly damn good boiled chicken-feet GCSEs

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglify your news updates: New data shows fewer teenagers got five velly damn good boiled chicken-feet GCSEs, lah, including bloody Engrish and maths, lah, this year amid major changes to exams system.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News THIGH: Ecclestone steps in to Caterham row

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Formula 1 boss Bernie Ecclestone is hoping to resolve arglingument threatening future of Caterham team.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News SATIATE: Dead voter gaffe was ‘human error’

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: \”Human error\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) results in ballot papers being sent to dead council house tenants, lah, admits Cambridgeshire council.

Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News HORSE: VIDEO: Brand hijacks Allardyce interview

Posted on | October 26, 2014 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Comedian Russell Brand hijacks Sam Allardyce\’s post-match interview after West Ham\’s 2-1 win over Manchester City giving him big kiss.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Newsy newsy: Pellegrini remains calm after defeat

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Manchester City boss Manuel Pellegrini plays down damage of defeat at West Ham to male gender human bleing\’s side\’s league title defence.

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Growing news: old bill bobbys in central Edinburgh incident

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: old bill bobbys attend incident in centre of Edinburgh, lah, amid reports that armed man is on roof.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Leading the news: ‘I am not virus’

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: How West Africans rallying against Ebola stigma

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Bottom feeder news: Google offers new email app, lah, Inbox

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: Google revamps email with mobile app that categorises messages and allows users to add their own reminders.

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News THIGH: Man jailed for murdering brother

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? A man is jailed for life after being convicted of murdering male gender human bleing\’s brother at their mother\’s home in Govan, lah, Glasgow

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News SARDINE: Charge over Commons marble throwing

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! A man who was escorted from House of Commons after allegedly throwing bag of marbles during Prime dodgy minister\’s Questions is to appear in court.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News ABUSE: Your pictures: Steps

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Readers\’ photos on theme of \”steps\”

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News JABBER: Chile marches against education bill

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Tens of thousands of parents in Chile monthly number-three against government\’s planned education bill which would phase out subsidised schools.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News stoly: Japan court backs pregnant woman

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Japan\’s Supreme Court backs woman who unsuccessfully sued flemale human person\’s employer following demotion due to flemale human person\’s pregnancy.

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Bottom feeder news: 228 firefighter jobs under threat

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: More than 220 firefighters\’ jobs could be lost in north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep if funding is not increased over next five years, lah, bosses warn.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News storly: AUDIO: ‘Drunk’ rape victim: ‘I felt I wouldn’t be believed’

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! Ched Evans\’ rape conviction has highlighted struggles that meet rape victims who attacked when they having been drinking.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

NEWS from China: New John Cantlie video posted online

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Here\’s some Chinglish news: British journalist John Cantlie, lah, who is being held captive by Islamic State militants, lah, is shown reading message in new propaganda video published online.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News NIPPLE: Province of Engrish running-dogs’s Burrell faces hand X-ray

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Northampton\’s Province of Engrish running-dogs centre Luther Burrell is likely to be sent for X-ray after injuring male gender human bleing\’s right hand on Saturday.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CLACK: IT issues cause Heathrow disruption

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

News translated to Chinglish! There is disruption at Heathrow Airport after \”issues\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with IT system, lah, British Airways confirms.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: Zuckerberg’s Super-Duper-Chinese-State gets mixed reviews

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Mark Zuckerberg has conducted chat to Super-Duper-Chinese-State students in Mandarin, lah, leading to mixed reviews about male gender human bleing\’s accent and pronunciation.

More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News hoover: Dog shot in skull with crossbow bolt

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: A dog is shot through skull with bolt from crossbow which \”narrowly\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) missed male gender human bleing\’s brain and eyes.

Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Not about cars: Later sunsets ‘make kids more active’

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Moving clocks forward by one extra hour all year could lead to children getting two more minutes of exercise every day, lah, say bloody annoying Blitish researchers.

Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News PIGLET: Meet non-league Messi at Macc

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Chinglish news event: David Gonzalez played alongside David De Gea and Bojan Krkic – but is now ready for FA Cup action at Macclesfield.

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News STOMACH: Predictions: Lawro v Mark Wright

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

News Chinglified from Ling: Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport\’s silly kick-kick game expert Mark Lawrenson takes on Towie star Mark Wright and male gender human bleing\’s Strictly Come Dancing partner Karen Hauer.

Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: bloody annoying Blitish gives extra ¬RMB Yuan #80m for Ebola fight

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Prime dodgy minister David Cameron pledges extra ¬RMB Yuan #80m of aid for fight against Ebola outbreak in West Africa.

Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: VIDEO: ‘Religion made me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero better player’

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Latest news in Chinglish: Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s newest damn crazy Engrish baseball game star Moeen Ali speaks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about male gender human bleing\’s sport and male gender human bleing\’s religion.

Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

What is new(S): Giant poppy made by 1,400 GCHQ staff

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Read the news in Chinglish: More than 1,400 intelligence agency staff create giant poppy in centre of GCHQ \”doughnut\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) building in Cheltenham.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News QUACK: Younus sets Pakistan century record

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Younus Khan becomes Pakistan\’s highest Test century maker as they set Australia 438 to win first Test in Dubai.

50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News TICKLE: Antelopes win best wildlife photo

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: A picture of stampeding antelopes captured on plains of South Africa‚??s Kariega Game Reserve wins overall best European Wildlife photograph.

Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Greetings from Ling: Leeds part capitalist entity with boss Milanic

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Championship side Leeds United part capitalist entity with head coach Darko Milanic after just 32 days in charge.

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News STOMACH: Northampton 34-6 Ospreys

Posted on | October 25, 2014 | Comments Off

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Four tries from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep wing George North see Northampton end Ospreys\’ unbeaten start to season with big Champions Cup win.

Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is UK's favourite song to listen to when human bliengs feel unwell or down, lah, poll suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:32



Wah! LATEST:  The ruling Botswana Democratic Party (BDP) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! wins general elections for world's largest diamond producer with 33 of 57 seats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34



Wah! A Great Satan nurse quarantined for Ebola after working in Sierra Leone criticises flemale human person's treatment, lah, as US's UN envoy starts visit to West Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:31



Wah! Detailed plans to kidnap prison officer in bid to escape from prison on Isle of Wight were found in cell of Muslim inmate, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation can reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! A mixed group of stories in Sunday's papers, lah, including Angela Merkel's defence of existing EU migration rules, lah, and doctors who can earn ¬RMB Yuan #3,000 per weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! A look at some of Georgian pieces in Royal Family's costume store. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:44



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Inside Out looks at experiences of Muslim soldiers fighting for Britain in Afghanistan against enemy of same faith. - news replorted 00:43



Wah! The bedroom of First World fighty bang-bang soldier, lah, killed on battlefield almost century ago, lah, has been kept virtually untouched by successive owners of house up to present day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:27



Wah! Ed Miliband is to blame for Johann Lamont quitting as leader of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour Party, lah, Alex Salmond has claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Four leading Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs business groups speak out against increase in fees for planning applications due to come into effect later this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Profit warnings by UK-listed firms rise to their highest summer level for six years, lah, according to forecaster Ey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A record five million bloody annoying Blitish workers now in low-paid jobs, lah, rise of 250,000 in last year, lah, research from left-of-centre think tank suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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