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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1472 / 1528
Lisa says...
NISSAN QASHQAIExcellent service, communication was outstanding always knew exact status of delivery process. Excellent delivery of my new Qashqai.

Lisa Button
1 Sant Rd
West Heath
B31 3NJ

Editor Note: Hey, hey, and you are an accountant, Lisa. That means you will take time to find the very best financial option for your car. So, I am so pleased you chose me :) Thanks for being a great customer and enjoy that bloody Qashqai :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1450 / 1528
Lee says...
VOLKSWAGEN SCIROCCOExcellent service from Ling and her team. There is no lease company out there that has got their business right like Ling. I recommend anyone after a lease this is the place to contact. Thanks very much I'll be back soon. Excellent delivery - on time. Service was good. I have no complaints about the whole process.

Lee James
868 Coventry Rd
Small Heath
B10 0TZ

Editor Note: Sciroccos are great cars! So happy you had excellent service. As you are in the car trade, I appreciate your business and that you find my prices the cheapest. Enjoy the sporty VW! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1367 / 1528
Jacqueline says...
 I would like to thank you for a stress free time organising a new lease car. Your website is a bit mad! But your LINGO message system is excellent and you respond very quickly to every message. You also don't charge a fee (unlike the previous company I used) - How do you do it? Delivery was when they said, but the expected date was nearly a month earlier.

Jacqueline Lee
24 Whitehill Lane
Selly Oak
B29 4QF

Editor Note: Very easily! Those fees are a complete rip-off and the companies who charge them are just raking in extra profit at the customer's expense. You have a lovely new Mini Cooper. The delivery was affected by the factory shutdown at Mini, due to the credit crunch - BMW chose to save money by suspending production. Not a lot I could do about that, sorry. If they don't build them, I can't deliver them. Dealer was just as frustrated as you and me. However, you have your car at last and it's fantastic. I really like those fast Minis. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1354 / 1528
Tracy says...
CITROEN C-CROSSERVery efficient and helpful service. Keeps you informed every step of the way and very funny. Would recommend LINGsCARS to others. Helpful and professional delivery of my new C-Crosser.

Tracy Cawley
Address Withheld
B29 ***

Editor Note: Another C-Crosser! It's great to have so many good reports about this Citroen dealer, they are very efficient. As you are a Chiropodist, Tracy, I am sure to recommend you to any visitors with foot-problem... my only foot-problem is putting it in my mouth when I talk to customers, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1271 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTAAlthough I could have got a car for a few pounds less (really??? Never! - Ling), Ling was much more helpful and has an interesting website. Also, i had a problem with my emails, but I was able to use Ling's secure "LINGO" system with no problem. Everything was made very easy, I know exactly what was going on. My new Fiesta arrived when Ling said it would. VERY PLEASED. Delivery had 46 miles on the clock. Good.

David Jones
45 Ashgrove Close
B60 1HW

Editor Note: David, when you compare prices, remember that many companies have hidden fees and "document" charges. I avoid these whenever possible. So, the screen price on competitor sites does not always reflect what you will pay. In fact, most competitor car leasing websites are illegal in the way they represent VAT. However, you sound really pleased to choose me and I say THANKS to you for being a star customer. So pleased you like the LINGO system. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1198 / 1528
Neil says...

I really have to say how good the service that you provide is. The attention to detail, the prompt replies to questions and delivering exactly what you said, when you said made getting my car painless. Thank you very much, I will definitely be using your company again!

Delivery of the Vauxhall Astra to where I was working instead of home meant I got my car quicker as I was working in Bolton but live in Birmingham. Excellent.

Neil T
Address Withheld
B13 ***

Editor Note: I like "excellent", that is a great word. I am happy to deliver to work addresses as long as we have all home address proofs in place, for security. You were very lovely to deal with. Neil, as a software engineer, I am glad you like my software systems :) I still cannot pronounce your surname. And people say Chinese is a difficult language, hahaha. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1185 / 1528
Kevin says...
LEXUS ISThe Lexus IS was a great suggestion - thanks Ling. I like the new web portal, LINGO, it allows fast and easy information exchange and speeds up the whole process. Your service is still out in front. I will be back for my next car again in 2 years. Oh and the price - No one else even came near to it. Fantastic! All the best to you and your team for 2009! Delivery was very considerate and thorough.

Kevin Corry
Address withheld
B49 ***

Editor Note: Great! You previously had a BMW 5-Series, so it's great to have a returning customer! You are also a company director so I take your comments very seriously. Thanks so much, Kevin, and I'm glad you like my new LINGO, it is a big improvement on email, eh? See you in 24-months! - Ling

Customer Letter: 993 / 1528
Alan says...
CarCarExcellent service and communication supplying our two new Toyota Priuses. Provided with good honest advice - will certainly continue to use Ling Cars in the future. Good delivery, on time.

Alan Sadler
Fabstore Ltd
Unit 11, Tamebridge Industrial Estate
Perry Barr
B42 2TX

Editor Note: Alan, wow, now you are saving TWO planets :) I give you a hyperlink for lovely letter. thanks for being such a nice customer. You are repeating customer, so I am so happy to see you back. See you in 3-years. - Ling

Customer Letter: 984 / 1528
Mick says...
CarLing -

Very good service, will shop with you again. Excellent delivery service.

Mick O'Reilly
8 Bissel Close
Hall Green
B28 0XX

Editor Note: Wow, these VW Eos are not very well-known cars, and not the cheapest, but they are very popular. A lovely convertible car :) I hope you get lots of sun in Birmingham, Mick. Thanks for short letter! - Ling

Customer Letter: 964 / 1528
Linda says...
CarHi Ling

I am a big believer in good service, and that is what I feel I have received from yourself. The Chevvy Captiva is our first brand-new car and still has that "new" smell. We will be in touch in 18 months! Good delivery, not a lot of involvement needed, straight from the docks.

Linda Platt
PJ Research
27 Amberley Way
Sutton Coldfield
B74 3RN

Editor Note: Great to hear you got a fresh car, Linda! I'm so glad you thought I gave good service, that makes me VERY happy. Keep sniffing the car, it is like a drug. Speak soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 928 / 1528
Richard says...
CarThank you Ling, what you see is what you pay, and no hidden charges!!! No other company sends you sweets, and I will use Ling again. The Astra was a few days later than I hoped, but no problems. The delivery was excellent. The car had 75 miles on the clock, but all Ok and a nice driver.

Richard Moore
6 Parkfield Close
B77 1HE

Editor Note: Richard, you are so sweet. I am pleased you appreciated my poison sweets, many people say they make them ill :) You got a great 150bhp Astra (most popular car in the UK) so cheap, see you in 2-years! The 75 miles will be added to the contract mileage. - Ling

Customer Letter: 897 / 1528
Justin says...
CarLing delivers on all of her many promises that she makes on her website. Always helpful and available and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her to anyone. My Freelander arrived exactly on time as promised.

Justin Luckman
65 Hill Village Road
Four Oaks
Sutton Coldfield
B75 5BH

Editor Note: Just-in time for the Easter snow, Justin, hahahaha! Sorry, that was a very bad joke! As I type this, everything is white, and I am thinking of you driving your new 4x4. What a shame I didn't promise snow! - Ling

Customer Letter: 817 / 1528
Peter says...
CarExcellent service, car in excellent condition with low delivery mileage. The Nissan Navara is a cracking car. I will definitely contact Ling for a new vehicle when the contract expires. My friends are now looking to use Ling, too. Thanks, Ling!

Peter Dea
20 Barrs Road
B64 7HG

Editor Note: Peter, well, not sure if the Navara qualifies as a "car" but what the hell, as long as you love it. As you are an NVQ assessor, I hope you give me top marks :) See you in two years, and I hope you have LOADS of friends, hehehe. - Ling

Customer Letter: 748 / 1528
Mark says...
CarAfter searching the Internet for leasing a car at the right price with no hidden extras, we were lucky enough to find LINGsCARS! From start to finish Ling was superb in providing a top class service!

We would definitely recommend LINGsCARS and re-use her in the future, without having to look elsewhere! No bullshit now... but if you want a service from a provider where you literally have to do nothing... Ling is your woman! The Citroen C2 Code arrived on time and was fully explained to me in detail. Oh - Ling also sends nice sweets out in the post, too!

Mark Villers
am2pm Mortgages
49 Fowler Road
Sutton Coldfield
B75 7LN

Editor Note: Mark, well, I must have made a mistake and sent you the wrong sweets, most people say they are terrible and that I am poisoning customers :) The C2 Code is a fantastic, fast, fully equipped car, with aircon, leather and everything. Enjoy! Thanks for letter! - Ling

Customer Letter: 747 / 1528
Debra says...
CarDebra says: Sorry about the delay in the letter, we have been very happy getting the car with you, especially your great sense of humour. We love your website. It's very original and informative.

Rod says: Much better doing business with you than other bigger companies. Good delivery.

Debra and Rod Sillence
34 Hawkesley Mill Lane
B31 2RL

Editor Note: Debra and Rod, well, gee, thanks :)... I loved to deal with you. These Xsara Picassos are really good value cars and they are very comfortable and well equipped. Enjoy it, glad you think I am better than larger companies, I really try to please you. - Ling

Customer Letter: 742 / 1528
Julian says...

...the opposition away. I am more than a little impressed with the level of service you offered and will be back for my next car. Excellent delivery.

Julian and Katie Rapp
Dog Lane
Cooksey Green
Upton Warren
B61 9EP

Editor Note: Well, you two, you were perfect customers, always fast with your emails and lovely to deal with. Hope the VW Transporter van does a great job for you. These are real bargains! - Ling

Customer Letter: 725 / 1528
Darren says...
CarAnother transaction, again very smooth...

I asked Ling to offer her best price for a VW Passat Estate. The price was excellent compared to other dealers, the service was once again - excellent. No problems, very easy, much appreciated. The delivery was excellent, no questions!

Darren Edwards
Kirkfield Ltd
Units 1 & 2
Schofield Business Park
Aston Fields
B60 3DN

Editor Note: Darren, well this car follows a Citroen Relay van and I say THANKS for the business. I always offer my best price up front, I don't play the stupid chipping games others play. Hope you are just as pleased with this car as you were with the van, talk soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 612 / 1528
Michael says...
CarI really appreciated such an efficient, straight-forward and honest service. No hidden costs, you know you are not being ripped off and you get all the advice you need.

Huge thanks, Ling, sorting my Citroen C4 Hatch. Delivery was efficient, couldn't fault it. Will recommend you without hesitation.

Michael Stanford
23 Cophams Close
B92 9JJ

Editor Note: Micheal, well my Citroen supplier is good and efficient and fast. The finance is always fast, too. And the cars have loads of kit. So, with your own paperwork efficiency, this delivery was a very easy and pleasant one for me. See you in two years :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 600 / 1528
Darren says...
CarDear Ling,

Thank you for providing an excellent service with regards to the lease hire of our new Citroen Relay van. I personally found your company highly competitive. I like the advertising campaign and you are easy to work with. Out of the many companies I have dealt with, I would definitely say you are the best! The van delivery was excellent, delivered when they said - no problems, no confusion.

Darren Edwards
Kirkfield Ltd
Units 1 and 2
Schofield Business Park
Aston Fields
B60 3DN

Editor Note: What on earth is "Rubber Conversion"? That's what you do, Darren... sounds like recycling tyres into condoms, to me :). The new van will hold many million condoms. There is a massive export market to China for condoms for the Olympics next year, you might want to consider this. Thanks for the kind words, as ever, I simply do my best... so I am pleased when you say you think I am the best! - Ling

Customer Letter: 473 / 1528
Rev says...
 "Ling, thanks for the excellent service AGAIN. This is my third car from you and each time your deal and your customer service excels. The car arrived on the right day and nice and early, exactly on time as ordered, ... but then what else should I have expected?"

Rev Stuart Blunt
2 Frederick Rd
Selly Oak
B29 6PB

Editor Note: Stuart, you are such a nice customer. Even though we have totally different views about the God, you are happy to deal with me and you recommend friends. I simply do my best and I bring you some business too, as my sister Shan is a Christian! Hope God has a sense of humour! - Ling

Customer Letter: 458 / 1528
Reverend says...
 "Just to let you know, the Citroen Picasso arrived safely and early at 8.00am on Friday as promised. I am really pleased with both the service you offered and the promptness of the dealer. I am sure I will be back (again) in two year's time."

Reverend Stuart Blount
Senior Pastor
Christian Life Centre
2 Frederick Road
Selly Oak
B29 6PB

Editor Note: Stuart, the bloody dealer (although brilliant) kept insisting to call you "Mr" not "Rev"! I told him off. I also sent you a small Chinese bible (Mao Red Book) to make up for it. This is the THIRD Picasso you have had from me, over the time of 5-years, since 2002! LONG TERM CUSTOMER!!! :) Thanks! - Ling

Customer Letter: 444 / 1528
Kevin says...
BMW 5-SERIES SALOON"What's the difference between Ling and the other companies? - Well, she has the knack of dealing with you as an individual!

As a first timer to personal contract hire, I had a few stupid questions to ask. I was always offered prompt answers and advice. Thanks to Jon who helped me while Ling was in China - great service. My new BMW 5-Series was delivered promptly, in time for Christmas, with zero miles on the clock."

Kevin Corry
address withheld

B49 ***

Editor Note: Hey, Kevin, I did a lot of the work on your car from China! Don't give Jon any credit!!! Traditionally, BMW drivers are a bit agressive, but you were a very sweet customer Kevin. Are you sure you have ordered the right car? Hehehe I think you meant to click on "Nissan Micra" :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 423 / 1528
Kevin says...
BMW 5-SERIES SALOON"This is overdue - things have been SO busy since Xmas - but I wanted to say thanks!

The new BMW 520d SE is just fantastic, the price was great, and the service (through your communication and helpfulness) you provide stands out in a world where people talk about customer service but rarely deliver it. The only things I would question are the envelopes that are so full of chinese sweets that the postman has to hand deliver them like an injured bird, and then when you try and eat the sweets... are those things legal in this country?"

Kevin Corry
address withheld

B49 ***

Editor Note: Kevin, this delivery went very smoothly - but you were the perfect customer. Excellent credit rating, full and complete documents, fast replies to my emails. Hope you have fun pulling out in front of people, flashing to overtake on the motorway and driving aggressively in your new BMW 5-series :). Up here in Gateshead, the postman WHISTLES like an injured bird. My office cat goes crazy - Ling

Customer Letter: 391 / 1528
Keith says...
 "Hi Ling,

This was my first time at personal leasing and you made the whole process very easy and enjoyable. Thank you. My new SAAB 9-3 is great, the supplying dealer was good and the delivery driver was a very nice chap."

Keith Hardware
12 Manta Road
B77 1NQ

Editor Note: You were quite a lucky one, Keith, you got free leather in your new SAAB. It's nice when I can manage some bonus for my customers. Hope you have a nice time swanning around in it. (I ate swan once, it was delicious) - Ling

Customer Letter: 382 / 1528
Philip says...
 "Thank you so much for making it all so easy! This was the first time we have had a contract hire car and you made sure that the delivery of the brand-new Citroen Picasso went through quickly and smoothly. The Picasso was delivered on time and without problems by an excellent dealer."

Philip Mewis
60 Cardington Ave
Great Barr
B42 2PD

Editor Note: Philip, I do so many repeat cars to existing customers that it's really nice when I get new customers like you and like Michelle (below). It just shows that most people simply want the cheapest price combined with an enjoyable experience and quick delivery. No one needs all the overheads of £1m dealerships and loads of staff. Glad you are pleased with your new car, Philip! - Ling

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Wah! A bloody annoying Blitish financial trader accused of contributing to 2010 Wall Street "flash crash" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is back in custody after third court hearing as bloody man failed to raise ÂRMB Yuan #5.05m bail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:28

Wah! With wedding season in full swing, lah, many classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine owners could make pretty penny by hiring out their pride and j - news replorted 12:16

Wah! The Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate R18 e-tron quattro is ready to tackle Le Mans 24 Hours Following thrilling start of FIA World Endurance Championship (WEC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! season with two Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate victories in 6-hour r - news replorted 12:15

Wah! Cancer treatment in 14 hospitals in Great Satan and Canada will now be helped by IBM's Watson "cognitive computing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:14

Wah! The vote of those living in countryside is crucial in this election, lah, but what issues important to them? - news replorted 12:12

Wah! Straaltechniek's sales team and their new MG3s Rebecca Allen only popped out for bag of sugar – and came back with three shiny new MG3s, lah, WAH! - news replorted 12:04

Wah! The owners of pub who "flagrantly disregarded" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) planners and demolished it without permission ordered to rebuild it within 18 months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:02

Wah! A twelve-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl who was hurtee-hurtee in earthquake in Nepal and was missing for five days is being treated in field hospital, lah, with flemale human person's brother by flemale human person's side. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:58

Wah! A teenager has been detained for sex attack on Oxford University student who went on to publish open garbling written down on paper message about ordeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:53

Wah! A 41-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man has been arrested by old bill bobbys investigating murder of Gerard 'Jock' Davison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:51

Wah! UKIP's Paul Nuttall uses figure to show UKIP does not having monopoly on activists getting into trouble. What the hell I mean??!! Is it true? - news replorted 11:46

Wah! Floyd Mayweather says "winners win and losers having excuses" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after Manny Pacquiao blamed injury for male gender human bleing's Vegas defeat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:42

Wah! Serving soldiers, lah, veterans and families having marked liberation day in Netherlands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! The new Jagluar XE sports saloon record number of motor manufacturers unveiling some of bloody velly latest models to hit this year’s fleet market at t - news replorted 11:30

Wah! The writer of Audience, lah, play about Queen's private meetings with flemale human person's prime ministers, lah, is poised to rework script to reflect result of general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:14

Wah! Former ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land and Blackburn Rovers captain Colin Hendry is charged with harassing and assaulting male gender human bleing's ex-girlfriend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:14

Wah! Director Joss Whedon denies deleting male gender human bleing's Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) account over feminist criticism of male gender human bleing's latest movie, lah, Avengers: Age of Ultron. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:11

Wah! On heels of all-time sales record that Infiniti achieved in first quarter 2015, lah, capitalist entity successfully LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine - news replorted 11:05

Wah! Tottenham and Togo striker Emmanuel Adebayor has used Facebook to write about male gender human bleing's personal family issues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:04

Wah! The EU's plan for "digital single market" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) could result in bloody annoying Blitish citizens being able to continue using iPlayer across Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:00

Wah! The UK's services sector saw its fastest growth in eight months during April, lah, survey indicates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:55

Wah! Why this is most important election in generation for UK's economic and cultural future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:54

Wah! Chancellor Angela Merkel offers to give evidence to Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters amid reports that German intelligence helped Great Satan spy on Germany and its neighbours. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! The embattled bloody Engrish National Opera is among winners at this year's prestigious Royal Philharmonic Society awards - news replorted 10:10

Wah! Two Tanzanian peacekeepers with UN mission in Democratic Republic of Congo having been killed in ambush near city of Beni, lah, UN says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:59

Wah! Labour's Ed Miliband goes into final day of campaigning saying voters having choice between prime dodgy minister who will put working human bliengs first - and one who favours rich. - news replorted 09:57

Wah! Conservative Prime dodgy minister David Cameron says bloody man still believes bloody man can win majority in Thursday's election and warns of "danger" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of Labour minority supported by SNp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:57

Wah! Artist Sarah Lucas says there is nothing "particularly offensive or rude" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about flemale human person's provocative show at British Pavilion at Venice Biennale. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:55

Wah! A statue of Blackpool legend Stan Mortensen removed without explanation from outside club's stadium is returned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:42

Wah! Bournemouth will prioritise squad over stadium expansion for their debut Premier League season, lah, says chairman Jeff Mostyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:39

Wah! Britain's love of fish and chips is so great that play has been written about it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:39

Wah! Volkswagen’s ‘As velly damn good boiled chicken-feet As New’ used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine event Following success of Volkswagen’s first used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine event in November, lah, Retailer network is gearing up for ‘As Go - news replorted 09:30

Wah! Discount store Poundland has invited competition authorities to move to full review of its proposed tie-up with rival 99p Stores. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:23

Wah! SpaceX is set to conduct unmanned test of launch escape system it will using on its Dragon astronaut capsule. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:21

Wah! German old bill bobbys arrest four human bliengs suspected of plotting to attack Muslims and asylum seekers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:14

Wah! The IAM’s chief examiner, lah, Peter Rodger, lah, is offering advice to drivers’ about effects of dehydration and drowsiness w - news replorted 09:13

Wah! German carmaker BMWah-wah! speeds past quarterly earnings expectations, lah, I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to strong SUV sales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:11

Wah! Jaguar stages first 'Mini Miglia' Rally in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land Jagluar Heritage has successfully hosted inaugural ‘Mini Miglia’ in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, giving its Mille Miglia entrants chan - news replorted 09:08

Wah! The Who revealed as Glastonbury Festival's Sunday night headliner, lah, joining Foo Fighters and Kanye West at top of bill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:07

Wah! H&H Classics to sell two multi-million Ferraris in generous legacy H&H Classics, lah, one of Britain’s oldest classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine auction houses, lah, will hold sale of two multi-million-pound Ferraris f - news replorted 09:00

Wah! What will next government for motorist? mood of motorists appears to reflect wider sense of apathy among electorate, lah, so suggests Auto Trader surv - news replorted 09:00

Wah! Guy Wilks with Milli RX Two-time British Rally Champion Guy Wilks will make male gender human bleing's FIA World Rallycross Championship debut at Lydden Hill over - news replorted 09:00

Wah! The QUADRO4 Swiss engineering has become world mainstay for precision and engineering excellence. What the hell I mean??!! With this familiar ethos Quadro - news replorted 09:00

Wah! Deputy First dodgy minister Martin McGuinness blames dissident republicans for attacking cars belonging to two Sinn Fein councillors in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:52

Wah! Geoffrey Boycott says male gender human bleing's former county Yorkshire would beat Province of Engrish running-dogs and has called captain Alastair Cook "disrespectful". - news replorted 08:37

Wah! old bill bobbys investigating takeovers at Rangers search headquarters of Mike Ashley's Sports Direct capitalist entity in Derbyshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:35

Wah! The co-pilot of Germanwings plane which crashed in French Alps may having practised rapid descent on previous flight, lah, Bild newspaper says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:14

Wah! Four men sentenced to death in Afghanistan over mob killing of woman falsely accused of burning Koran. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:01

Wah! Supermarket group Sainsbury's reports full-year loss of ÂRMB Yuan #72m, lah, after writing down value of its stores. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:44

Wah! A left-leaning party wins surprise victory in Alberta, lah, one of Canada's most conservative provinces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:31

Wah! One of main routes out of Cardiff is closed after tanker overturned following crash with two cars. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:30

Wah! Next month it will become illegal to pay for sex in Northern Ireland, lah, law some think should be implemented across Uk. What you wan'?!! Here two viewpoints from different sides of debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:19

Wah! The ex-soap star who became award-winning playwright - news replorted 06:44

Wah! Newsnight's cartoon guide to who will be in charge on Friday if no one wins general election on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:31

Wah! Ballot papers posted out to union members at Tata Steel bloody annoying Blitish over industrial action in arglingument over pensions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:24

Wah! Politicians embark on final day of campaigning across Welsh land of sheep and more sheep before general election on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:17

Wah! A court in India is due to rule on whether Bollywood star Salman Khan is guilty of driving over five men sleeping on pavement, lah, killing one. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:46

Wah! A man appears in court in Hong Kong over kidnapping for ransom of wealthy heiress Queenie Law, lah, which sparked massive manhunt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:21

Wah! The Great Satan government offers rewards totalling $20m for inflomination on what it says four leaders of Islamic State militant group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:46

Wah! A baby girl should be removed from flemale human person's mother and live with flemale human person's father and male gender human bleing's boyfriend instead, lah, High Court judge rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:35

Wah! "Ben" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is 30-earth-years old happy birthday to you, single man, lah, who lives in London, lah, works in PR, lah, and regularly pays for sex. - news replorted 03:05

Wah! Potentially deadly Clostridium difficile infections having been treated with dose of more Clostridium difficile. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:50

Wah! Head teachers worried about protecting students from being radicalised being offered seminars by their union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:49

Wah! Israeli Prime dodgy minister Benjamin Netanyahu races to assemble coalition government ahead of Wednesday's post-election deadline. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:13

Wah! A Guatemalan woman dubbed Queen of South, lah, who ran one of largest drug trafficking rings in Central America, lah, is jailed by Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:00

Wah! Could faith criteria be on way out as method of selecting pupils for church schools, lah, asks Caroline Wyatt? - news replorted 01:59

Wah! The parents' guide to what not to say to teenagers - news replorted 01:51

Wah! More than 1,000 parts on Airbus A350 XWB 3D printed using materials that only recently became available to manufacturing process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:26

Wah! Can social media really help with mental health? - news replorted 01:10

Wah! The woman who posed as Rosie Riveter - news replorted 01:07

Wah! Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah says male gender human bleing's Lebanon-based Shia group will attack Sunni al-Nusra Front militants on Syrian side of border. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:59

Wah! A Chinook helicopter is due to assist with efforts to remove wreckage of small plane which crashed on Perthshire hillside on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Plans for minimum price for alcohol in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land due to be heard by judges at European Court of Justice in Luxembourg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:53

Wah! Politicians will be campaigning across country in final push for Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs votes before polling begins. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:52

Wah! Violent storms sweep northern Germany, lah, triggering tornado that hit small town and leaving one person dead in Hamburg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:51

Wah! Violent storms in northern Germany having caused widespread damage, lah, triggering tornado in town and leaving one person dead in city of Hamburg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:50

Wah! What does never-ending rise in power of computers mean for businesses and humans in general? - news replorted 00:46

Wah! Are fears that cyber-warfare could lead to new "Pearl Harbor" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) attack justified, lah, or is scale of problem being overhyped? - news replorted 00:45

Wah! The evolution of thousands of pop songs spanning from 1960 to 2010 is analysed by scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34

Wah! Reliving London's celebrations on VE Day - news replorted 00:33

Wah! Five years after "flash crash" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) suddenly wiped nearly trillion dollars from Great Satan markets, lah, FBI alleges it was largely due to one man - financial trader from Hounslow in west London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:32

Wah! Car manufacturer Milli has shown off pair of glasses that give drivers 'X-ray vision'. - news replorted 00:20

Wah! What can't you tellibly lovely custlingmer in polling station? - news replorted 00:18

Wah! The place where human bliengs will queue to getting their feet wet - news replorted 00:17

Wah! Party leaders and candidates making last-ditch grab for votes on the final day of campaigning before general election polls open. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:17

Wah! Gareth Bale's performance for Real Madrid is criticised after Juventus build 2-1 lead in Champions League semi-final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:15

Wah! Photo album helping South Sudan refugees find loved ones - news replorted 00:12

Wah! As general election campaign approaches its frantic conclusion, lah, papers cover final pushes and look ahead to possible fallout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:11

Wah! A hospital trust at centre of old bill bobbys probe into data manipulation had more serious patient safety breaches than any other in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:11

Wah! India's capital Delhi has got its first woman bus driver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation took bus ride with V Saritha on city's busy roads. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:10

Wah! A remarkable story of survival at sea - news replorted 00:09

Wah! Rupert Murdoch's News Corp, lah, owner of Times and Sunday Times newspapers, lah, sees third quarter net profits fall 52%. - news replorted 00:05

Wah! Two skeletons having been found in abandoned camps in Thailand, lah, with possible links to human bliengs smuggling. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Wednesday's 24-hour strike by some ambulance staff may lead to delays in responding to 999 calls, lah, Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Ambulance service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

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