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BMW Leasing London Birmingham Leeds Glasgow Sheffield Bradford Edinburgh Liverpool Manchester Bristol Cardiff Coventry Leicester Car and Vehicle leasing is the leasing of the use of a motor vehicle for a fixed or indefinite period of time. It is commonly offered by dealers as an alternative to car or vehicle purchase. The key difference in a lease is that after the lease expires, the lessee must return the car or vehicle to the dealer or buy it. Rationale: Car Leasing offers advantages to both buyers and sellers. For the buyer, lease payments will usually be lower than payments on a car loan would be and qualification is usually easier. Some consumers may prefer leasing as it allows them to simply return a car and select a new model when the lease expires, allowing a consumer to drive a new vehicle every few years without the responsibility of selling the old vehicles. A lessee does not have to worry about the future value of the car or vehicle, while a vehicle owner does. For the leasor, leasing generates income from a vehicle the leasor still owns and will be able to sell or lease again once the original lease has expired. As consumers will typically use a leased vehicle for a shorter period of time than one they buy outright, leasing may generate repeat customers more quickly, which may fit into various aspects of a dealer's business model. Lease agreement: Lease agreements typically stipulate an early termination fee and limit the number of miles a lessee can drive (for passenger cars, a common number is 10,000 to 15,000 miles per year of the lease). If the mileage allowance is exceeded, fees may apply. Dealers will typically allow a lessee to negotiate a higher mileage allowance, for a higher lease payment. Car Lease agreements usually specify how much wear on the vehicle is allowable, and the lessee may face a fee if that amount of wear has been exceeded. The actual car lease payments are calculated very similarly to the way loan payments are, but instead of an APR, the company uses something called the money factor. At the end of a lease term, the leasee must either return the car or vehicle to the owner or purchase it. The end of lease price is usually agreed upon when the lease is signed.BMW began building motorcycle engines and then motorcycles after World War I. Its motorcycle division is now known as BMW Motorrad. Their first successful motorcycle, after the failed Helios and Flink, was the "R32" in 1923. This had a "Boxer" twin engine, in which a cylinder projects into the air-flow from each side of the machine. Apart from their single cylinder models. all their motorcycles used this distinctive layout until the early 1980s. Many BMWs are still produced in this layout, which is designated the R Series. BMW roundel in 1939 During the Second World War, BMW produced the BMW R75 motorcycle with a sidecar attached. Featuring a unique design copied from the Zündapp KS750, its sidecar wheel was also motor-driven. Combined with a lockable differential, this made the vehicle very capable off-road, an equivalent in many ways to the Jeep. In 1983 came the K Series (affectionately known as "The Flying Brick"),(Correction, "The flying brick" was the nickname of The BMW K1 model), shaft drive but water-cooled and with either 3 or 4 cylinders mounted in a straight line from front to back. Shortly after, BMW also started making the chain-driven F and G series with single and parallel twin Rotax engines. In the early 1990s, BMW updated the airhead Boxer engine which became known as the oilhead. In 2002, the oilhead engine had two spark plugs per cylinder. In 2004 it added a built-in balance shaft, an increased capacity to 1170 cc and enhanced performance to 100 hp for the R1200GS, compared to 85 hp of the previous R1150GS. More powerful variants of the oilhead and hexhead engines are available in the R1100S and R1200S, producing 98 hp and 122 hp , respectively. BMW K1200GT In 2004, BMW introduced the new K1200S Sports Bike which marked a departure for BMW. It is both powerful the engine is a 167 hp unit derived from the company's work with the Williams F1 team and significantly lighter than previous K models. It was BMW's latest attempt to keep up with the pace of development of sports machines from the likes of Honda, Kawasaki, Yamaha, and Suzuki. Innovations include a unique electronically adjustable front and rear suspension, and a Hossack-type front fork BMW calls Duolever. BMW was one of the earliest manufacturers to offer anti-lock brakes on production motorcycles starting in the late 1980s. The generation of anti-lock brakes available on the 2006 and later BMW motorcycles pave the way for the introduction of sophisticated electronic stability control, or anti-skid technology - a first for production motorcycles - later in the 2007 model year. BMW has been an innovator in motorcycle suspension design, taking up telescopic front suspension long before most other manufacturers. Then they switched to Earles Fork, front suspension by swinging fork (1955 to 1969). Most modern BMWs are truly rear swingarm, single sided at the back (compare with the regular swinging fork usually, and wrongly, called swinging arm). Some BMWs started using yet another trademark front suspension design, the Telelever, in the early 1990s. Like the Earles Fork, the Telelever significantly reduces dive under braking. The New Class was a line of compact sedans and coupes starting with the 1962 1500 and continuing through the last 2002s in 1977. Powered by BMW's celebrated four-cylinder M10 engine, the New Class models featured a fully independent suspension, MacPherson struts in front, and front disc brakes. Initially a family of four-door sedans and two-door coupes, the New Class line was broadened to two-door sports sedans with the addition of the 02 Series 1600 and 2002 in 1966. Sharing little in common with the rest the line beyond power train, the sporty siblings caught auto enthusiasts' attention and established BMW as an international brand. Precursors to the famed BMW 3 Series, the two-doors' success cemented the firm's future as an upper tier performance car maker. New Class four-doors with numbers ending in "0" were replaced by the larger BMW 5 Series in 1972. The upscale 2000C and 2000CS coupes were replaced by the six-cylinder BMW E9, introduced in 1969 with the 2800CS. The 1600 two-door was discontinued in 1975, the 2002 replaced by the 320i in 1975. BMW 1 Series The 1 Series was launched globally in Autumn 2004 and shares many structural, chassis, powertrain, hardware and electronic elements with the larger 3 Series. The model was started to provide a lower point of entry into the BMW range as the 3 Series moved gradually up-market. Initially launched as a 5-door hatchback, a 3-door version was also launched in July 2007. The 1 Series is priced between the MINI and the current E90 3 Series. Because the coupe is the only rear wheel drive vehicle in its class, it is somewhat considered the successor to the BMW 2002. The 1 Series coupe and convertible went on sale in the United States in model year 2008 as the 128i and the 135i. The convertible, unlike the 3 Series convertible, uses a soft-top instead of a folding hardtop. This is lighter, cheaper to manufacture and preserves more trunk space than the folding hardtop would allow. It offers luxury, with premium surround sound, 6-disc CD changer, satellite radio, an optional navigation system, and optional remote engine start.
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BMW 3-Series Saloon
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BMW 4-Series Coupe
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If you can't find the deal or car you're looking for, use the tools below or request a bespoke leasing quote!

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Leasing Price List

I have over 500 lease cars on my price list. View it here (it may be easier to print onto paper)!

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View my Top Of The Pops and see which leasing cars are the current best sellers. This may inspire you!

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If all else fails contact me during office hours for an online chat about your car.


...how it works!


1) Choose a car to lease or get a quote


2) Fill in online car leasing proposal form


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5) Complete posted documents


6) Take lease delivery, like Chinese takeaway


7) Drive and show off & impress stupid friends


8) After a few years, order a new lease car or walk away... you have no commitment!

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Wah! LATEST:  British banks may having to hold more funds to guard against risk of future economic downturn - news replorted 14:34



Wah! LATEST:  An 82-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is jailed for life for murdering male gender human bleing's partner and flemale human person's daughter who bloody man shot at close range at male gender human bleing's puppy farm in Surrey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:34



Wah! Entertainer Rolf Harris loses first round of legal challenge against male gender human bleing's conviction for indecent assaults. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:20



Wah! All new government policies in Province of Engrish running-dogs now having to undergo test to check whether they help families. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:59



Wah! A woman who was caught on CCTV dragging man in wheelchair behind flemale human person's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine is handed two-year driving ban. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:42



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs head coach Stuart Lancaster says Sam Burgess's "mental toughness" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) can lead him to success in funny shape ball-game union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:40



Wah! Burkina Faso's President Blaise Compaore announces bloody man has resigned, lah, following violent protests at male gender human bleing's attempt to extend male gender human bleing's 27-year rule. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:37



Wah! UN chief Ban Ki-moon says discrimination against humanitarian workers who return home from Ebola crisis in West Africa is "unacceptable". - news replorted 13:31



Wah! Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho confirms striker Diego Costa will be available for Saturday's Premier League game with QPr. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:30



Wah! This year's Halloween is warmest on record in UK, lah, with temperatures reaching as high as 23.5C, lah, breaking previous record of 20c. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 13:28



Wah! Manchester City's David Silva will miss Manchester derby and could be out for three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) with knee injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:28



Wah! Crocodile farming in Zimbabwe is expensive, lah, niche business, lah, as BBC's Brian Hungwe finds out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:23



Wah! Mazda Motor Corporation remains on course for another record year after reporting exceptional first half. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 13:00



Wah! Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger admits bloody man is concerned by male gender human bleing's players' using of social media site Twitter, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:52



Wah! The DUP says it intends to bring controversial welfare reform issue 'to head" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) before Christmas if it is not resolved in current talks process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:29



Wah! The funeral is held for actor who was face of Father Christmas in famous Coca-Cola advertising campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:28



Wah! Citroën awarded GreenFleet City LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Manufacturer of Year Citroën has been honoured with two key GreenFleet awards, lah, which recognise both company’s expanding range of efficien - news replorted 12:28



Wah! A breeder in China's Chendgu province was trying to give these two baby pandas medicine instead of their usual bamboo leaves- and they were having none of it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:23



Wah! A team has developed micro-sized rockets, lah, powered by seawater, lah, that can neutralise chemical and biological weapons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Wallace & Gromit Anti-Pesto Van, lah, Beaulieu's On Screen Cars Wallace and Gromit Anti-Pesto Van is latest exhibit to arrive in Beaulieu’s On Screen Cars display. You give me happy happy luck luck. plasticin - news replorted 12:08



Wah! A musical version of hit 2002 British comedy film Bend It Like Beckham is to open in West End next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! P01 Festive Fill-Up By Richard Wheatland BEN, lah, automotive industry charity, lah, takes great pride in offering wide selection of automotive themed Christmas gree - news replorted 12:07



Wah! Over ÂRMB Yuan #3k raised in new BEN Challenge Event – Wing Walking Five supporters of BEN, lah, automotive industry charity, lah, flew high in skies as they took on challenge of Wing Wa - news replorted 12:06



Wah! Delays in getting ambulance to alleged murder victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) in Wrexham being investigated by Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs Ambulance Service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:02



Wah! A long-term vision is set out for Prestwick Airport - year after it was taken into public ownership amid fears it could close. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! At least eight human bliengs die in explosion at major bus station in Gombe state in north-eastern Nigeria, lah, witnesses tell BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:57



Wah! Ross Brawn at Royal Automobile Club Motoring Forum Ross Brawn OBE, lah, legend in contemporary motor racing, lah, admitted on Thursday that 1904 machine barely capable of sust - news replorted 11:44



Wah! Chris Everitt with male gender human bleing's Mlitslublishli Outlander PHEV capitalist entity that installs charging points for electric vehicling driving car machines has bought Mlitslublishli Outlander PHEV so that it can prac - news replorted 11:41



Wah! A year after last Remploy factory closed, lah, Nikki Fox looks at what has happened to former workers - and what options available to them - news replorted 11:35



Wah! Russia's central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity raises interest rates to 9.5% from 8%, lah, much bigger rise than expected, lah, as it seeks to combat inflation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:32



Wah! Tracker urges LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine owners not to compromise on security protection Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Watchdog (30th Octoblinger 2014) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has yet again put spotlight on shocking risk of keyless LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine theft, lah, as technolog - news replorted 11:32



Wah! Software firm Drupal warns millions to "assume" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) they having been hacked if they having not applied patch for recently discovered bug. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! Drivers indifferent to changing tax disc rules More than half of motorists (61%) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! having not bothered to remove their paper tax disc from their windscreen month after t - news replorted 11:27



Wah! Infiniti Centre Newcastle Opening UK’s tenth Infiniti Centre was officially opened in Newcastle-upon-Tyne last night, lah, giving discerning North East mot - news replorted 11:21



Wah! Government dodgy ministers seek advice as "a matter of urgency" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from auditors who blocked ÂRMB Yuan #330,000 pay-off for Wales' highest paid council chief. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 11:18



Wah! As 2014 World Superbike and World Supersport championships head to their respective conclusions this weekend at - news replorted 11:18



Wah! Three men who challenged their special extended sentences for preparing terrorism offences lose their appeals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:17



Wah! A man who killed teenage girl by hanging flemale human person's at male gender human bleing's parents' house loses male gender human bleing's appeal against male gender human bleing's whole-life sentence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:13



Wah! A mayor in south of France bans clown disguises for month, lah, starting on Halloween, lah, after several violent incidents involving teenagers dressed as clowns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Counting begins in election of new old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) Commissioner for South Yorkshire, lah, following resignation of Shaun Wright. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:04



Wah! The 2014 Klia Sportage - now available on Klia Rental Launching at 12 dealerships across UK, lah, Klia Motors bloody annoying Blitish Ltd., lah, is now able to offer flexible rental solution to both r - news replorted 10:54



Wah! A Great Satan judge rules long-running arglingument between Marvin Gaye's family, lah, Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams over claim (always claiming, huh?) of plagiarism should go to trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! RallyFest at Chirk Castle FIA World Rally Championship roars back into Chirk Castle for another family-friendly RallyFest on Saturday 15 Novem - news replorted 10:40



Wah! Popular teaching practices "harmful to students' learning". - news replorted 10:26



Wah! A hammer-wielding robber takes ceremonial chains of mayor of Bury in violent attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:19



Wah! The Industry is behind licensing says IMI Almost 90% of professionals working in automotive retail sector agree that some form of licence to practise is neede - news replorted 10:16



Wah! A old bill bobbys chief will face internal charge of gross misconduct after allegation of inappropriate behaviour towards women. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:15



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Government has said that it will 'retire' ÂRMB Yuan #218m of UK's ÂRMB Yuan #2bn First World fighty bang-bang debt by refinancing bonds issued in 1917. It is first payment of its kind for 67 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:07



Wah! Ĺ KODA vehicling driving car machine range Czech manufacturer Ĺ KODA remains on right track and continues to show profitable growth. In first nine month - news replorted 10:01



Wah! Actors Dame Judi Dench, lah, Emma Watson and Robert Downey Junior among stars honoured at Britannia Awards hosted by Bafta in La. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:57



Wah! It has been 60 years since animated adaptation of George Orwell's 'Animal Farm' - first British animation film. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:44



Wah! Firefighters across Province of Engrish running-dogs to start four-day strike later in row over pensions during one of service's busiest weekends of year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:42



Wah! A recent survey by Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has found more than two-thirds (68 per cent) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! of those who c - news replorted 09:40



Wah! Tickets for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sports Personality of Year 2014 in Glasgow go on sale on Friday 31 Octoblinger at 09:00 GMt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:32



Wah! Two human bliengs having died after LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crash near Wrexham on Thursday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:24



Wah! The Japanese dance group using wearable technology to lighten up their act. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:12



Wah! Wheeler, bloody dealering idiot place Lamborghini with Mike and Edd Motoring fans having voted Lamborghini Urraco as number one restoration completed by Wheeler Dealers Mike Brewer - news replorted 09:11



Wah! Hungary shelves proposed tax on internet data traffic after tens of thousands of Hungarians marched against it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:08



Wah! A bus capitalist entity run by two Rangers directors says it has safeguarded jobs at another bus firm which is understood to having ceased trading. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:43



Wah! Two children whose father was on Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 which disappeared file lawsuit against airline and Malaysia's government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:40



Wah! Steven Gerrard says bloody man could join another club next summer if Liverpool not offer him new contract. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:27



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click looks at some of week's technology highlights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:18



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour party is now seeking both new leader and new deputy leader following resignation of Anas Sarwar. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:11



Wah! Stars of Invictus Games take centre stage Four stars of British Invictus Games team will take centre stage in London (capital of Great England) on Saturday 8 Novemblinger as they line up i - news replorted 08:00



Wah! In honour of Halloween, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport looks back at some of 2014's more 'horrifying' moments, lah, including shocks, lah, slips, lah, trips and unexpected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:53



Wah! RBS will retain control of Ulster capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity and says it has velly damn good boiled chicken-feet market position that can deliver attractive returns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:49



Wah! A Japanese savoury snacks manufacturer is creating 100 new jobs at Deeside Enterprise Zone, lah, opening its first factory in Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:41



Wah! Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land has set aside ÂRMB Yuan #400m to cover costs into possible manipulation of Bloody foreign exchange market. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:12



Wah! Burkina Faso's President Blaise Compaore says bloody man will stay in power for year under transitional government, lah, following day of violent protests demanding male gender human bleing's resignation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:07



Wah! Liverpool's miraculous turnaround in 2005 Champions League final has been voted as your as really velly special customer's #BBCDreamTicket. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:06



Wah! The main body providing apprenticeships in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is warning that budget cuts by Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government will having "massively de-stabilising effect" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on such programmes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Alcohol should having calorie content label in order (piece of paper signee upee) to reduce obesity, lah, according to public health doctors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:57



Wah! Unmanned aircraft having been seen flying over many of France's nuclear stations and authorities don' knowing where they having come from. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 06:47



Wah! Lewis Hamilton on turning up pressure in male gender human bleing's title fight with Nico Rosberg and buzz of being back in America. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:40



Wah! A controlled explosion is carried out in Lurgan after discovery of suspicious package in fast food restaurant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:33



Wah! The BBC's Anne Soy reports from Ghana, lah, where health care workers in one hospital serving Liberian refugees having had to using rain coats instead of proper protective gear against Ebola. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:32



Wah! Michelin Pub Guide 2015 Michelin Eating Out In Pubs Guide 2015 will be available in bookshops from Friday 31st Octoblinger 2014, lah, priced at ÂRMB Yuan #13.9 - news replorted 06:30



Wah! The Wild Rabbit, lah, Michelin Eating Out in Pubs 2015 Pub of Year We delighted to announce that PUB OF YEAR in 2015 edition of Michelin Eating Out In Pubs Guide is Th - news replorted 06:30



Wah! More children who having talked about killing themselves contacting ChildLine for help, lah, counselling service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:10



Wah! One person remains missing after major blaze in Stafford fireworks factory that also leaves two human bliengs needing hospital treatment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:35



Wah! Bloody foreign dodgy minister Julie Bishop says bloody woman is committed to "normalising" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) relations between Australia and Fiji after nation's elections last month. - news replorted 04:23



Wah! The coastguard station at Brixham in Devon is closing later in shake-up of rescue services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:15



Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama calls for "inclusive and credible" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) election process when Myanmar hold elections next year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:38



Wah! Investment capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Citigroup puts aside extra $600m to cover legal expenses due to "rapidly evolving regulatory inquiries". - news replorted 02:43



Wah! Ramon Jimenez, lah, Philippines' tourism secretary, lah, says drop in numbers from China is not major concern because of growing visits from other countries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:42



Wah! Officials with Doctors Without Borders having warned that some mandatory Great Satan state Ebola quarantines having "chilling effect" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on operations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:36



Wah! Victims' groups expected to tell child abuse inquiry officials that Fiona Woolf should step down as its head as concerns about flemale human person's suitability persist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:35



Wah! It's Halloween and nowhere is it celebrated more than in Us. Eating rice!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Pop Up team went behind scenes at one of America's scariest haunted houses in Baton Rouge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:30



Wah! The first Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Paranormal Festival, lah, weekend celebrating UFOs, lah, ghosts and aliens, lah, is under way in Stirling. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:18



Wah! The father of botanist from Argyll who went missing in Vietnam year ago asks anyone with any inflomination to come forward. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:16



Wah! How former Remploy workers struggle to find work - news replorted 02:13



Wah! Asian shares were trading higher on Friday after positive economic data from Great Satan showed strength in world's largest economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:08



Wah! A skin-eating fungus threatens salamanders and newts across Europe, lah, and probably arrived on pet amphibians imported from Asia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:00



Wah! Israel promises to reopen key Jerusalem holy site after closing it following shooting of Jewish activist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:47



Wah! A farmer who was fined last year for unlawfully slaughtering animals is fined again after dead cattle found on male gender human bleing's land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:40



Wah! Is moving house nightmare or life affirming? - news replorted 01:34



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish government is not doing enough to tackle "petty corruption" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in countries to which it gives aid, lah, report by scrutiny body says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:24



Wah! As peace talks between Colombian government and Farc rebels enter their third year, lah, Vanessa Buschschluter asks what peaceful Colombia would look like. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:19



Wah! It has been one year since TV cameras started rolling in Court of Appeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! But what has happened since? Legal Correspondent Clive Coleman investigates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:18



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has signed up to limited strategic military action in Iraq against Islamic State - and there questions over its ability to much more, lah, says Jonathan Marcus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:12



Wah! Technology developed during World fighty bang-bang Two is to be used as back-up for GPS in ports across Province of Engrish running-dogs and ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:10



Wah! The health workers volunteering to fight Ebola - news replorted 01:05



Wah! How Timothy Spall created 400 artworks for male gender human bleing's latest film - news replorted 00:59



Wah! Ofsted is in urgent need of independent review in light of concerns about its objectivity and reliability, lah, say local government leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! Tony Abbott comes under more pressure for not sending health workers to Africa to help fight Ebola after Great Satan offers to care for any who getting sick. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! A poll suggesting Labour "wipeout" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, continuing threat from Ebola and future of abuse inquiry chief make headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:47



Wah! Teachers who try to encourage low-achieving students with lots of praise could harm their learning, lah, claim (always claiming, huh?) research into classroom tactics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! Genetic factors could play important role in whether human bliengs survive or die from Ebola virus, lah, say Great Satan scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! Can Apple design guru Jony Ive turn smartwatch into hit? - news replorted 00:13



Wah! A look around new lab at Pirbright Institute in Surrey, lah, where world’s most contagious livestock viruses will be kept. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Alcohol should having calorie content label in order (piece of paper signee upee) to reduce obesity, lah, according to public health doctors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Laurie velly damn good boiled chicken-feete's fleeting role as Stormtrooper in Star Wars 38 years ago still has impact on male gender human bleing's life today - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Tips for disability-friendly Halloween - news replorted 00:07



Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:05



Wah! A young fashion designer from London (capital of Great England) has decided to mark Remembrance Day by creating special "poppy hijab" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Muslim women. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:02



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