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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen C4 Grand Picasso 1.6 e-HDi Airdream 16v (90bhp) VTR ETG6 MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1560cc Diesel at £211.06 inc VAT at 10:04 on 25th Sep - Ling
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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Chelmsford
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Letter
Customer Letter: 1518 / 1528
Ashley says...
VOLKSWAGEN EOSI am extremely pleased with my car and it couldn't have been easier to get it! The website is simple to use, the customer care is excellent and I felt looked after throughout. Dealer Service – Excellent – Arrived as expected. Thanks.

Ashley Russell
7 Aynsley Gardens
Harlow
CM17 9PB


Editor Note: Ashley!!!! Wow, you are a fantastic customer and brilliant to know your partner has a Nissan Qashqai, too (from me). Your advantage is getting your top off, hahaha! What a great car these Eos's are. Nice VW badge, too. Pleased you are happy bunny. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1384 / 1528
Les says...
TOYOTA PRIUSHi Ling. Very happy with my Toyota Prius and of course your updates till I received my Prius. Good delivery, very happy and on time. Will use you again in 3 years. Have a great Christmas and New Year in China.

Les Coates
69 Roding Leigh
South Woodham Ferrers
Chelmsford
CM3 5JZ


Editor Note: Great stuff. The battery car will need new Duracells in 3 years, so I look forward to you talking to me then. In the meantime, enjoy to be Green! You were super customer. Back from China as I type this, had a great Xmas hol! Thanks. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1348 / 1528
Diana says...
PEUGEOT 207 CCFrom start to finish LingsCars has been a pleasure to deal with. Easy to monitor the progress all the way through, you always know what was happening. The friendly and fun exchange of emails made the whole experience much more enjoyable than form filling and confusing letters! Recommend every time. Good delivery on my Pug 207CC.

Diana Knight
Elektoled Limited
Unit 2a, Red Lions Business Centre
Burnham Road
Latchingdon
CM3 6EY


Editor Note: Yes, I try to avoid boring communication, Diana. Getting a car should be great fun. It's really fantastic go get a letter like this because it lets me know that all the investment in my systems pays off. LINGO works well. Thanks again, get the roof down and have a great time in the Peugeot 207 CC! Just add sunshine. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1335 / 1528
Michael says...
MERCEDES C-CLASS SALOONLing is always available with advice and help. She assumes the responsibility of the sale with the best deal for her clients. The large manufacturers should take a good look at her operation. Excellent, Ling.

Michael Bradley
Cedar Bank
1 Park Avenue
Hutton
Brentwood
CM13 2QL


Editor Note: Yes, pay attention Mercedes-Benz, who hound and persecute me because I sell their new cars (despite their sales figures down in the gutter in the Credit Crunch). Rarely a week goes by without the German bullies threatening me with court for showing their brand, their cars or even the words "Mercedes" or "Smart". You should listen to the customers, Mercedes!!! Michael is an MD, he knows what he is talking about. Thinks for the kind letter, Michael. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1286 / 1528
Ant says...
 Ling and her company are superb. The informal and relaxed way she conducts her business takes out the "fear-factor" when it comes to leasing. But, at the same time, the information and communication she provides along the way is quick and accurate. I will use Ling again and have already recommended her to friends and family. Poor delivery, my new Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch had small scratches.

image

I photographed the scuffs and scratches....I think the driver's in trouble for not checking over it properly! I'm sure they'll pretty much polish out but now I've recorded them on the sheet I've covered myself against any comebacks....had it not been for your guide I'd have probably just signed the form without checking it, so thanks.

Ant Andrews
Address Withheld
Essex
CM8 ***


Editor Note: Yo! Ant, thanks so much for the photos. Difficult to see on a black car and they are quite light scratches. If they would not polish out, then the car would be repaired. But, they disappeared. As you are a policeman, I withhold your address for security. Thanks so much for the comments in your letter, you are very kind to me :) but I can't imagine a big copper having a "fear factor" from little me, even though I do shout sometimes! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1241 / 1528
Michael says...
CITROEN C5I ordered my new Cit C5 over the Chrstmas holiday and I thought this may have caused a delay... but Ling was polite (POLITE???? me? Wow! - Ling) and efficient making sure I received the new car as quickly as possible. I would highly recommend LINGsCARS.com to my friends. Good delivery.

Michael Bright
3 Baker Way
Witham
CM8 1UG


Editor Note: Hey Micky! Your car's so fine it blows my mind, Hey Mickey! Hahahaha. You will not believe this Micky, but I did most of the work on your Citroen from China! I was in China at Christmas and using the power of the internet, not many people noticed, hahaha! So, you can say, you got a new car from China! Glad you are happy bunny, I am damn surprised you think I am polite. Maybe I shouldn't mention this, but you work for FORD! Gotta laugh. I will also mention, Citroen UK (idiots) made a delivery mistake on your car, sending it to the wrong depot, that cost me a few days on delivery. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1190 / 1528
Richard says...
HONDA CIVICI wanted to write you a short note to thank you and your team for your recent help in getting me back in a new car, a Honda Civic Type-S.

Having written my Vauxhall Corsa off in November your advice with the insurance company was really helpful in getting the claim sorted quickly and back on the road. At the start of January, being able to place an order for a new car and having it delivered to my door three weeks later is an excellent service. A very nice man delivered my new Honda Civic type S all clean and shiny on the back of a transporter with only 6 miles on the clock. Such a nice chap indeed he even got a cup of tea and a biscuit off the wife!

Using the new Lingo system this time from a customer point of view was also really useful. Actually being able to see what stage the whole process was at, easily upload specific documents was really helpful and informative. A good innovation.

I will definitely be in contact again in two years when the contract is up as the service is absolutely second to none.

Richard Hawkins
CMT Events
2 Dodds Building
Boxley Lane
Hatfield Broad Oak
CM22 7JX


Editor Note: Such a nice letter, Richard! Thanks so much. Next time, you might want a Civic Type-R, but those things are REALLY fast, instead of just fast. I have given you a hyperlink for your website. But visitors beware, the music is yuk :) CMT is a UK based company specialising in laser effects, slide projection, 3D animation, imagineering, digital video, water and fire effects for special events, advertising. Now, it has a nice new Civic! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1081 / 1528
Graham says...
PEUGEOT 207 CCHaving been searching for a lease car for some months and speaking to many robots along the way, it was a breath of fresh air to deal with Ling. She explained many things competently and showed us how to use the system to get a high spec car for low spec money. Would 100% recommend Ling to others colleagues - thanks.

Graham Waller
31 Maldon Road
Danbury
Chelmsford
CM3 4QL


Editor Note: Wow, good to know I am human (too human for some) and not a robot! Thanks for recommendation. As a company director, I appreciate your comments! Cheers, Graham. Great customer. And nice car - Pug 207 CC. Get the top off! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1034 / 1528
Michael says...
CarA fantastic service provided by a crazy lady. Excellent – would definitely recommend her company without hesitates. Many thanks. Excellent delivery.

Michael Burke
address withheld due to occupation
Brentwood
CM15 ***


Editor Note: Woooo Hoooo, another happy customer. 7-seat Zafira is really nice car. You are a policeman, Mick, so I withhold your address for security of you and family. Unlike Chinese police, British police are lovely. ...for the benefit of the tape... Hahahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 985 / 1528
Ian says...
CarHi ling, I thought you offered a a very competitive rate for the lease of our XC90. You were honest, efficient and best of all quick, whenever I needed a response. I have already recommended you to a number of friends.

I really appreciated you responding personally to e-mail and phone calls and you always knew what you were talking about. Thanks. My Volvo XC90 was delivered on time by pleasant staff. Excellent.

Ian Brooker
Address Withheld

CM23 ***


Editor Note: Hehehe, another XC90 bites the dust. ...I can do these cheaper than Volvo themselves, it seems, and they are very popular cars. The best value of all the big 4x4s. Thanks for letter, thanks for recommendations, Ian! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 938 / 1528
Ian says...
CarLing, I found your website by accident. I was looking to hire a Land Rover Freelander and loads of companies were advertising on the net. I went to five or six of these, but none even had the courtesy to reply or come back to me.

Dealing with you was easy and I got the car as advertised. Good communications at every stage. Being a new hire customer it would have helped not paying the 3 months up front and also some idea of the lead time would have been handy. Delivery of my car was excellent. No problems!

Ian Hamilton
2 Spar Hawks
Rectory Road
Woodham Walter
CM9 6PX


Editor Note: Ian, thanks for letter :) It always amazes me how many companies ignore people. Glad you are happy with the bloody Freelander. The lead times are so hard to publish as stock is kept secret by car companies, and they change every day. The will never give me this electronic info (which is s stupid thing to withhold, as customers clearly want to know these lead times). I have to manually check for each car. It also depends on spec and colour. The 3 months payments are a standard thing, they give the finance company some commitment up front. They would argue if someone cannot afford a commitment of just 3 x payments, they can't really afford the car! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 933 / 1528
Philip says...
CarDealing with Ling was so simple and easy.

Just tell her the car you want and she will sort everything. Always replied to emails. We had normal Ford delays, but Ling managed to pull a few strings and we received our new Ford Galaxy exactly as ordered (except for a small dent in the rear door). Great communication from day one.

Ling deserves every success. I will definitely recommend to family and friends. Thanks, Ling.

Philip Scoging
Beacon Hill
Wickham Bishops
CM8 3RA


Editor Note: Phil, you were not impressed with Ford, and neither was I! They delivered the car to you late, with the dent (which is fixed FOC, of course). Having said that, they lent you a demonstrator while you were waiting for the Galaxy, but their last minute delivery was a real pain for both of us, we were both waiting and phoning at 8pm on a Friday night to get the car delivered. Sometimes, Ford are just too big, I think. I'm glad you liked my service, though... you would have had these delays however you sourced the car. I sent you a number plate for your trailer, shame Ford's towbar electric socket is incompatible with just about everything! Thanks for being brilliant, Phil! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 581 / 1528
David says...
CarA pleasure doing business with you - quite a rarity these days. A totally smooth operation from initial enquiry to final delivery; I didn't even have to buy a stamp for postage, every email was answered promptly. Zafira was delivered on the date and time promised. I look forward to re-renting with you in 2-years time.

David Ayris
4 Jubilee Avenue
Broomfield
Chelmsford
CM1 7HE


Editor Note: David, I even sent you a spare number plate for your trailer! :) These Vauxhall Zafiras have been so cheap and such good value, it's been one of my bestselling cars this year. So nice to deal with someone who is so super at paperwork, yours was 100% perfect. Thanks for your sweet letter! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 523 / 1528
Gary says...
 "Ling, just a short note to say thank you for arranging my first lease car and making the whole process completely painless. The car arrived first thing on Monday morning (after a slight hiccup on Friday) and was just as I ordered.

Please rest assured that I will be recommending you to all of my colleagues in the future and I will definitely be back in two years for a new car. Once again many thanks."

Gary Marquis
21 Silverster Way
Chelmsford
CM2 6YZ


Editor Note: Well, here we go! Another accountant! I seem to just get LOADS of customers who are accountants! So nice to deal with you Gary, you were a lovely one. Your car was delayed by one day, but these things happen sometimes. Glad you are so happy - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 498 / 1528
Alan says...
 "Ling, I enjoyed the whole process, from your lovely website, to the instant response emails. Even though I ended up with a larger engine than my original quote, I only had to wait 2 weeks and my brand new shiny Verso is now on the driveway. Marvellous. The delivery was splendid, the car arrived early!"

Alan Skene
12 Surman Crescent
Hutton
Brentwood
CM13 2PP


Editor Note: You work for a large multinational financial institution, Alan. Since you have had your Verso, I have had many enquiries and some proposals from the same email domain. So - thanks! Hope you are having a good time with the Verso, everyone who takes one of these cars is SO pleased! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 452 / 1528
Rachel says...
MAZDA MX-5"Thanks Ling for leasing us a superb car! The process was made simple by constant communication and friendly approach. Extremely competitive prices and excellent customer care. Wish you all the best for the future."

Rachel Dickinson
8 Baker Way
Witham
CM8 1UG


Editor Note: Zoom, zoom, zoom! Hope you are enjoying your new Mazda MX-5. What a lovely letter, thanks Rachel! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 387 / 1528
Roy says...
car"This is a great service, Ling.

Everything was arranged over the internet very simply. My new Renault Clio was delivered without problems and the dealer was excellent, I was well pleased with the service.

I will recommend LINGsCARS to anyone wanting to contract-hire vehicles. It was a great day when I found LINGsCARS.com, very well done Ling!"

Roy Rush
Trail
Latchmore Bank
Little Hallingbury
Bishop's Stortford
CM22 7PH


Editor Note: I'm glad to make you happy with your new car, Roy. I do my very best to provide the most efficient service, I'm pleased that you feel you can recommend me - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 371 / 1528
Roy says...
car"Just a note to say thank you very much I and my wife are well pleased with the new Renault Clio and your service. I shall recommend anyone who asks about lease hire cars, etc, to your web site."

Roy Rush
Latchmore Bank
Little Hallingbury
Bishop's Stortford
CM22 7PH


Editor Note: Roy, good. I really enjoyed to deal with you, thanks for recommendations, note I do not rank customers in car status priority. To me, a Clio is just as important as a BMW 7-Series - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 241 / 1528
David says...
CarDear Ling,

1st Class service on arranging the SAAB 9-3 lease deal. Excellent communication by email and phone. No problems. The car arrived on time as promised.

Many thanks and best wishes,

David Green
Chapman Green Accountants
33 Tapley Road
Chelmsford
CM1 4XY


Editor Note: I always enjoying accountants as customers because it seems to help prove my claim that this is really the very cheapest way to run a new car, business or personal. Have fun in sporty SAAB! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 237 / 1528
Roy says...
CarDoing business with Ling was simple and problem-free. Ling deals with you as a person, and contract hiring a car was "as it says on the label". Car arrived when promised. Totally a no-hassle experience. I will be getting my next car from Ling.

Roy Cooke
36 Pintolls
South Woodham Ferrers
Chelmsford
CM3 5ZB


Editor Note: Roy, as a customer you too were simple and problem-free. This is a good thing for me. I hope you enjoy new Citroen Picasso in Essex. Good job it was white one with alloys, spoiler and Mr Boombastic sound system. It will fit in. Enjoy car! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 105 / 1528
Derek says...
Ling,

You have excellent straight forward service, and you are very helpful. I will definitely use you again.

Derek Carpenter
Regency Tiling Ltd
Unit 39 Waterhouse Business Centre
Cromar Way
Chelmsford
CM1 2QE


Editor Note: Thank you for letter, Derek. Enjoy BMW. When I need new bathroom tiles I will ring you - Ling



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Wah! LATEST:  Students who submit essays bought online not only cheating but may also be paying for poor product, lah, says Province of Engrish running-dogs's exams regulator. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:40



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Wah! The director of Great Satan Secret service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says 19 September break-in at White House was "unacceptable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "will never happen again". - news replorted 15:30



Wah! The Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) is to getting extra RMB Yuan #425m to spend over next two years, lah, finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister Jane Hutt announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:26



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Wah! The Motor Sports Association (MSA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is inviting submissions for 2014 Renliot MSA Young Motor Sport Journalist and Pho - news replorted 14:20



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Wah! Boris Johnson brings out fish puns to mock male gender human bleing's political opponents and pledges to fight UKIP on beaches. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:19



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Wah! News images from around world: 30 September - news replorted 12:54



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Wah! Is Theresa May's plan to tackle extremists workable? - news replorted 12:10



Wah! Newcastle manager Alan Pardew's job is thought to be safe for clock time result being, lah, despite male gender human bleing's side being second bottom of top flight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! The old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is to close more than 300 temporary agency posts at end of year, lah, spelling end of Historical Enquiries Team. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:05



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Wah! Officials in eastern Ukraine say artillery is pounding Donetsk airport area, lah, where Ukrainian troops resisting pro-Russian separatists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! US Kansas City Chiefs NFL player Husain Abdullah is penalised after celebrating touchdown by falling to male gender human bleing's knees in prayer, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:36



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Wah! Two nuns killed in collision involving old bill bobbys vehicling driving car machine in Newry, lah, County Down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:31



Wah! Indecent images of pupils found on computer of deputy head teacher of Essex school who was recently found dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:28



Wah! The man leading commission on more devolved powers for ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land writes to campaigners on both sides of independence debate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:20



Wah! 30 Rock comic Tracy Morgan was not wearing seatbelt in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine accident that left him badly hurtee-hurtee and another passenger dead, lah, according to papers filed in Great Satan court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Woman's six-month campaign to having pictures removed - news replorted 11:02



Wah! Staff at Edinburgh Airport using Google Glass headsets to help them deal with clustomler inquiries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State cinema box office revenue surges 32% in first nine months of year, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Allianz Global Assistance in bloody annoying Blitish has announced that it has signed new three year contract to continue providing ext - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Manchester United thinking about playing midweek friendly matches abroad in absence of Champions League football. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:52



Wah! Rockar Hyundai Ryundali Motor announces innovative new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine retail experience – ‘Rockar Hyundai’. - news replorted 10:46



Wah! Lender Wonga is paying price - news replorted 10:33



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish economic growth has been revised up to 0.9% for second quarter of year by Office for National Statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! More than 100 construction workers in Ferrybridge, lah, West Yorkshire walk out in row over toilet facilities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Annual profits at payday lender Wonga having fallen by more than half, lah, capitalist entity announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:16



Wah! Radio 1 Breakfast Show host Nick Grimshaw breaks Guinness World twerking record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation is launching campaign to getting every child in land familiar with piece of classical music. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 09:56



Wah! X Men star James Marsden talks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast about male gender human bleing's new film Best of me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero and why bloody man has not seen ending - news replorted 09:53



Wah! The continent-hopping World Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship is gearing up for trip to China. Ai-yaa!!! This is important moment for - news replorted 09:51



Wah! British GQ has again joined forces with connection and networking experts Editorial Intelligence to reavealingly showing Great Satan ‘The 100 - news replorted 09:46



Wah! The prime dodgy minister says bloody man cares "about thousand times more strongly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about keeping bloody annoying Blitish together than bloody man does about staying in EU. - news replorted 09:32



Wah! Is there any chance of compromise in Hong Kong? - news replorted 09:30



Wah! The European Commission publishes garbling written down on paper message sent to Apple accusing it of benefiting from illegal state aid through its tax arrangements in Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:23



Wah! Leading road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has this week achieved ISO standard 39001, lah, adding - news replorted 08:42



Wah! South African opposition party leader Julius Malema is due to go on trial on charges of fraud and money-laundering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:25



Wah! Why two million drivers still refusing to buckle up? - news replorted 08:19



Wah! New technology allows security services to analyse contents of sewers to discover where human bliengs making home-made bombs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:18



Wah! A woman is rescued from Gwynedd harbour after being spotted by fisherman in early hours. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! The annual pace of house price growth slowed to 9.4% in September in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales, lah, according to Nationwide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:57



Wah! Next says recent warm weather has slowed sales growth and adds it might having to cut its profit forecast if warm spell continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:34



Wah! South Yorkshire police's response to reports of sexual abuse has been weak across force, lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Chelsea Clinton leaves New York hospital with flemale human person's baby daughter, lah, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:19



Wah! Two teenagers help choose 40 community groups to benefit from cash seized from criminals in Gwent old bill bobbys force area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:06



Wah! The Met Office says bloody annoying Blitish is on course for its driest September since records began more than century ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Health spending is expected to getting boost when Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government unveils its draft budget for 2015-16. - news replorted 06:52



Wah! Pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong being urged at stop their campaign "immediately" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and go home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:38



Wah! The Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers secretary of state will later say that Stormont needs to be in best possible shape if it is to take on devolution of corporation tax rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! An Austrian balloon pilot has succeeded in taking balloon deep underground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:23



Wah! World number one golfer Stacy Lewis says bloody woman would be keen to see introduction of mixed-gender 'Ryder Cup' tournament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:21



Wah! Adam Lyth could having been footballer, lah, but male gender human bleing's exploits as Yorkshire batsman having put him on brink of Province of Engrish running-dogs call-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Efforts to recover bodies of at least 24 climbers suspended again after eruption on Japan's Mount Ontake intensifies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:45



Wah! Indian Prime dodgy minister Narendra Modi meets Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama at White House over dinner, lah, ahead of formal talks on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:26



Wah! A large American study suggests young children who given repeated courses of antibiotics more likely than those given fewer drugs to be obese. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:02



Wah! David Cameron pledges more money to ensure seven day GP access across is rolled out across Province of Engrish running-dogs by 2020. - news replorted 04:37



Wah! Home Secretary Theresa May is to tell Conservative Party conference future Tory government will seek new powers to ban extremist groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:25



Wah! The Sunday Mirror apologises to women whose pictures were used in probe that led to Conservative dodgy minister's resignation, lah, but stands by its story. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:50



Wah! Thousands of pro-democracy protesters having continued their demonstration in heart of Hong Kong's financial district. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! Pro-democracy protesters again call on Hong Kong's leader to step down, lah, as huge crowds continue to bring parts of territory to standstill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:28



Wah! A third video has been posted online showing British photographer John Cantlie, lah, who's being held by group which calls itself Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:53



Wah! The video streaming site Netflix will release its first feature-length film in 2015, lah, after striking deal with Weinstein Company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:48



Wah! The number of human bliengs trafficked for slavery or other exploitation in bloody annoying Blitish has risen sharply to more than 2,700, lah, National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:52



Wah! Scientists in Europe having developed sensors for sewers that can detect traces of explosives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! Who was world's first trainspotter? - news replorted 01:16



Wah! A plaque honouring one of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's great forgotten explorers is set to be unveiled at Westminster Abbey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:11



Wah! Printing tradition kept alive in Calcutta - news replorted 01:05



Wah! Fifty five potential victims of human trafficking were identified in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land last year, lah, according to National crime (shoud shoot them) Agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:02



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs economy continues to recover with performance at pre-recession levels, lah, according to capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land business monitor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:00



Wah! A third video has appeared featuring British hostage John Cantlie who is being held by Islamic State militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:58



Wah! Representatives from rival factions in Libya's new parliament having held UN-brokered talks for first clock time result in oasis town of Ghadames. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Ad-free social media platform Ello overcomes technical setback to continue its rapid growth, lah, but one expert questions its business model. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:42



Wah! The National Union of Teachers calls on education secretary to tackle excessive workloads or face more strike action. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:30



Wah! More than half of stillbirths in bloody annoying Blitish could be prevented if NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) implemented additional scans, lah, leading obstetrician tells Panorama. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! More than one in 10 three-year-olds having tooth decay, lah, first survey of age group shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:28



Wah! Ghostly portraits of stars who died young - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Worldwide web inventor Sir Tim Berners-Lee talks about male gender human bleing's concerns for internet, lah, as bloody man renews male gender human bleing's call for digital Magna Carta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Sewer sensors to sniff out home-made bombs - news replorted 00:10



Wah! silly kick-kick game League chairman Greg Clarke is accused of "hiding behind excuses" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) while Paul Ince calls for "Rooney Rule". - news replorted 00:10



Wah! How virtual reality is helping build better cities - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Photos of men and women who risk their lives to getting rich in Guinea - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Abused and unpaid - story of African servant in Saudi Arabia - news replorted 00:03



Wah! The startups hoping to transform marijuana industry - news replorted 00:03



Wah! To mark Lionel Messi passing 400 career goals for Barcelona, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport takes look at amazing feats that may lie ahead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Children in South Yorkshire care homes were left vulnerable to sexual abuse because of old bill bobbys "shortcomings", lah, report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The expression "boots on ground" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) may not having been used until about 1980. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron has been put to test by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight, lah, in attempt to establish whether bloody man is "moderniser or "more socially conservative person". - news replorted 00:00



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