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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

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Letter
Customer Letter: 1401 / 1528
Dawn says...
 Best company I have ever dealt with. No small print, all messages replied to immediately and fantastic friendly staff. No bullshit! Thank you for providing me with a great car, service and look forward to doing business again and have recommended. Excellent delivery.

Dawn Halsey
5 Hidcote Close
Northampton
NN4 0XQ


Editor Note: Excellent letter! Exactly, no small print, no bullshit. That could be my motto, as I hate all that stuff. Enjoy the Astra, hope you really love it! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1334 / 1528
Jennifer says...
NISSAN MICRAAs usual Ling (this is our third car from you) your service was excellent, communication second to none and your pricing was cheap. We save about £50 a month from you as opposed to the dealers pricing. You even sorted out a last minute Nissan price rise for us. Thank you see you in a year to replace our other car. We got a phone call before delivery, car was clean, nice polite driver. Excellent!

Jennifer Jenkins
48 Crossbrooks
Wootton Fields
Northampton
NN4 6AJ


Editor Note: Here we go, third time repeating customer! Wow! Thanks, Jenni, you are a superstar. This Micra will do a nice job for you, good to see you are supporting British Manufacturing at this difficult time. See you back soon, eh? - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1291 / 1528
Nicholas says...
VAUXHALL ANTARAHi Ling! Thanks for a fantastic all-round service. The internet site is brilliant and second to none; you can literally watch the deal progress on your own secure page - Fab! All very slick and fast, under 3-weeks from enquiry to delivery!!! Just what the doctor ordered, as I was car-less. Great price, and the Vauxhall Antara is a great car. Good delivery, fast and a personal service. Well done!

Nicholas Darlow
17 Celtic Close
Higham Ferrars
Rushden
NN10 8NX


Editor Note: Nick, what can I say, if all my letters were like this one then nobody would believe them. So, I am very annoyed that you send such a nice letter. In future I want moaning letters! Can everyone please pay attention. Thanks. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1278 / 1528
Graham says...
CITROEN C5For the money I was paying, I expected a Sinclair C5 to turn up. Imagine my surprise and delight when a spanking new Citroen C5 turned up instead! Impeccable delivery from the supplying dealer.

Graham Moorhouse
Address withheld
Corby
NN18 ***


Editor Note: Graham, you are senior in the financial sector. Therefore, I am dead impressed when you say my deals are the best value for money you can find. The C5 is a really good car and you are correct; so cheap. It must be obvious to anyone reading that no one can do this any cheaper - if anyone considered options like a car loan or funding possibilities, then you would. Thanks so much for your kind letter, and good luck in the crunch. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1260 / 1528
Ivor says...
AUDI A3The new Audi A3 is great, I feel good and it's all thanks to you, Ling! From the start I must admit I thought "oh dear, what's all this about", but now I look forward to the sweets and all your sayings. Thanks Ling. Your help is always welcome. Good delivery.

Ivor Scott
Scoop Uk Ltd
37 Upper George Street
Higham Ferrers
Northamptonshire
NN10 8JN


Editor Note: Ivor, thanks for that letter. I often think "oh dear, what's all this about", hahahaha! Surely you didn't eat the sweets? That's what has made you feel good. Avoid drug tests for the next 3-months. Enjoy the A3 :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1244 / 1528
Stephen says...
 Hi Ling, sorry it's been a while. We've been enjoying the Volvo C70.

This is out first lease and we are so glad we found your website. You have kept the process nice and simple, adding the personal approach and a little (welcome) humour. We particularly liked your LINGO system which lept us well informed, and the ability to upload secure documents is brill.

Thanks to all concerned, especially for the speedy turnaround which saved us £175 per month over the current C70 deals. Both the dealership and driver were very helpful with the excellent delivery.

Stephen Collins
16 Curtis Mews
Wellingborough
Northamptonshire
NN8 5PG


Editor Note: Steve, how good was this? We grabbed you a car which was so much cheaper than other deals, it saved you £6,650 on other rentals over the 3-year period. You should note that other companies would have increased the price and earned a massive commission, but I do not do that. Maybe I am stupid, but I prefer happy long term customers. This is not about money, it is about people like you :) I am glad you seem so happy, and pleased you liked the LINGO system - that is a successful job done. Great dealer, this one. Wait until summer and you can put the roof down :))) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1177 / 1528
Samantha says...
VAUXHALL ANTARAHi Ling,

Thanks for the smooth and efficient service you provided. The whole process took 3 and a half weeks from start to finish which I was very impressed with. We will be back again in 2010. Thanks for your time and effort. Delivery of my new Vauxhall Antara very punctual and efficient.

Samantha Allen
26 Hermitage Way
Wootton
Northampton
NN4 6JG


Editor Note: Yo, Sam! You will look good in that new Antara! I'm very happy with your letter and I like to add you were lovely to deal with. Super! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1111 / 1528
Graham says...
LAND ROVER FREELANDER 2Well we got there in the end! First came across your site by accident, but glad I did. My new Freelander GS is superb, just like your service and the way you deal with your customers. Excellent communication throughout and a completely different (but fun and enjoyable) experience from anything I have coma across with regarding to buying a car. The only glitch was the wrong model was delivered initially but I just left this with Ling to sort out. This was done promptly and efficiently. In the words of the Terminator
I'll be back. Love the car, I'm even washing it every week!

Graham Houston
Address withheld
Northampton
NN6 ***


Editor Note: Right... well this is stupid supplier problem. Graham wanted an Auto, I ordered an Auto, supplier delivered a Manual gearbox car. They replaced the car instantly though when I er... pointed it out to them... with my boot! Idiots. How can that happen? Amazing how these dealers survive, eh? Sheer stupidity. Still, I am so glad my lovely customer got what he wanted in the end. Thanks for comments, Arnie (oooops, I mean Graham!) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1050 / 1528
Charles says...
CarVolvo C30 was well worth the wait. Excellent car delivered earlier than quoted. Thanks Ling. I found your service to be must helpful and straightforward to order a car. I would certainly recommend your site to my friends and I will look forward to dealing with you again. Excellent, smooth, on time delivery.

Charles Longstaff
Address withheld
Rushden
NN10 ***


Editor Note: Charles, super duper. Good cars, these, everyone loves them. Volvo have made a really good move by introducing these cars. Glad you are a happy bunny :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1003 / 1528
Charles says...
CarHi Ling

Just a quick line to say everything is fine with the Volvo, it does look very striking in black - I cleaned it on Sunday it was looking a bit dusty, the interior is equally as stunning. Everyone who has seen it said they did not realize that Volvo made this model, it is being advertised on TV at the moment but that does not do it justice, it was worth the wait.

I will write a blog about it - don't worry my experience is all positive I have recommended you to several of my friends.

Charles L (name withheld)
address withheld
Northampton
NN10 ***


Editor Note: Charles, you have requested address withheld due to security, no problem! :) Great cars these C30 Volvos. I have had no complaints about them, everyone loves them. And they are so cheap for a premium badge. Hope you enjoy it, for 2-years. Go drive! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 991 / 1528
Phil says...
CarHi Ling I am delighted with my new Honda. It's a really nice car. The service I received from you was fantastic and the speed of my first contact to the delivery of the car was so quick. Much quicker than I thought it would be. Can't wait to order my next car from you. Its the only way to get a new car!! Excellent delivery - on time and the car was clean.

Phil Manning
Address Withheld
Higham Ferrers
NN10 ***


Editor Note: Phil, hahaha, you have little faith :) Of course I try to do it quick. If a car is available I will work double fast to make sure you have it. I'm so happy you are pleased. I am looking forward to your next car in 3-years, too :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 834 / 1528
Jason says...
CarGreat service, nice to deal with someone human. I tried many leasing companies all of which were unsure of their prices and were more expensive and less responsive than Ling. If Ling can keep up the same one-on-one service with a smile and spread the same working methods to all staff as the business grows, they she will have a great business. Delivery of the Qashqai was fine - the cheery bloke was given a 10-mile lift back to the train station.

Jason Tear
Brix Secure Ltd
18 The Ridings
Brixworth
Northampton
NN6 9EX


Editor Note: Yes, yes, Jason, I know all about those other companies. I spend a hell of a time keeping my website up to date! Brix Secure specialises in intruder alarms and CCTV, so I hope your new Qashqai doesn't get nicked :) Enjoy it and see you in two years! Thanks for calling me human. Thanks for looking after the delivery man :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 816 / 1528
Lisa says...
CarLing's customer service is fantastic. Any queries were answered promptly and I can find no fault with her service at all. Thanks, Ling! Excellent delivery of my new Citroen C4 Grand Picasso. Great - so far!

Lisa Costello
3 Shortwoods Close
Raunds
Wellingborough
NN9 6NF


Editor Note: Lisa, it sounds like you are expecting a breakdown. Don't worry, these are really lovely 7-seat cars. Glad you were such a brilliant customer, you brightened up my month. Enjoy the C4! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 637 / 1528
Samantha says...
CarI had to wait quite a while for my car, but this was due to a strike at the Citroen factory (bloody French - Ling), and not down to Ling. Ling was very honest with me about how long it would be and didn't fob me off saying "it won't be long".

Overall, I was very pleased with the way Ling dealt with the issue and the whole service, and have recommended Ling to friends.

Samantha Cowley
14 Lacemakers Court
Rushden
NN10 0UZ


Editor Note: Sam, you are so sweet because you had to wait a while for your car. Citroen UK were completely mixed up and confused, too. It was good of you to accept it wasn't me. In China, the workers would be shot if they played these games:

Internal Citroen UK Memo: ...(lists of chassis numbers - Ling)...
"...As the above information is about as much use as a chocolate teapot (!!!) I will try and explain a little further... C2 and C3 (production - Ling) were originally delayed due to a factory strike. At first Paris so very kindly forgot to mention the strike (to Citroen UK - Ling) this threw out our computer systems and meant we were provided with inaccurate hand-over dates (from Citroen France to Citroen UK - Ling) and we were unaware of the inaccuracies. As a result some of the inaccurate dates were relayed to dealers. So; this is probably your first source of disinformation. Second, and most unlike the French (hehehe - Ling), another company - this time the one who provide the seats - went on strike. Hence delay number 2 and yet more confusion. The vehicles are most likely built, at least the majority, but they have not yet been assigned chassis as they have no seats!!! The good news is the seat company are no longer on strike. What would be really helpful to you now would be for me to provide a date when they will be with you, but unfortunately, we just do not know!! I have spoken to the supply manager responsible for C2 and he is unsure of how they are arranging the fitting of the seats to the cars i.e. what order they will be completed. The only communication from the factory is they'll be up to speed by the end of the month. In best case scenario, as you have been given the first chassis, the rest should all follow relatively quickly, but we just do not know. The vehicles will not be with you for week beginning 13th as they will be hitting Calais first and then start their journey. When they will hit Calais is anybody's guess. I know in total this e-mail has not been much help but we just can't accurately predict a delivery date for these vehicles as yet. Hopefully, in a week or so, the situation will become clearer and then we may be of more use!!"

Hope you can see that when even the bloody factory or importer has no clue what is happening, sometimes I am slightly out of control on deliveries. You must be philosophical! These are only cars. No-one dies, it is not life and death. These are only metal boxes with wheels! - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 608 / 1528
Dianne says...
CarLing, Now we have taken 3 vehicles off you. Always a pleasure AND FUN to deal with. Look forward to the next car!

Dianne Clark
12 Hall Close
Harpole
Northampton
NN7 4DY


Editor Note: Short and sweet, eh, Dianne and Tony. Such good to deal with you, you always cheer me up - and for anyone who wants to know, Tony is a golf (the disease, not the car) expert, too. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 605 / 1528
Graham says...
CarApart from a slight mix-up re delivery time, your service was impeccable. Also, the supplying dealer was spot on and perfect and very professional. I will definitely use you again. Your prices are very keen and I like your personal service. Please don't change a thing.

LING IS KING!

ps. Just saw you on Dragons' Den tonight, wicked! Great decision. Fabia is great, what a bargain!

Graham Moorhouse
4 Woodlands Lane
Great Oakley
Corby
NN18 8HJ


Editor Note: Graham, well, thanks. never been called a King before. I had great fun on the BBC. Really sorry about the delivery confusion, all my fault. Sorted out quickly, though. Glad you are pleased with the Skoda Fabia, these are great cars, so much cheaper then their VW brothers. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 589 / 1528
Brian says...
CarWith phone calls answered by Ling herself, emails answered within minutes and a personal service... we have never had that from the "big boy" lease companies. Why should we ever have to go anywhere else in the future? Thanks Ling, great car, you are a star!

Brian Tilley
EJM Motors
43-49 Union Street
Desborough
Kettering
NN14 2RH


Editor Note: Well, I always say that it means so much to get a recommendation from within the car trade - and it shows how cheap these contracts are, too. The "big boys" are never so big when you look closely, eh? Hehehe. I don't know why everyone can't answer the phone and answer emails as... if you don't, what's the point? I am constantly amazed by the "big boys". Thanks for letter, Brian! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 571 / 1528
Graham says...
CarHi Ling,

I am pleased to report that the car arrived safely at 2:30pm. Everything is perfect and my wife is over the moon. Thank you very much for for your care and attention throughout the deal. I am now laughing all the way to my bank for the next two years.

Graham Moorhouse
4 Woodlands lane
Great Oakley
Corby
NN18 8HJ


Editor Note: Hehehe, I am laughing all the way to the bank, but for only 2 minutes, my commission payment is so low!! Really happy that you are happy, too. Your wife should be over the damn moon, Fabia is very nice car and this one was SOOOOO cheap! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 314 / 1528
Ian says...
 "Thank you for such an easy and relatively cheap car leasing experience. I was a first-timer and you answered all my questions quickly and patiently. Just for reference, you saved me £180 per month on my brand-new RX-8, compared to my local Mazda dealer!! (my red ink, and just to point out that the saving you made works out at £4,680 on a 3+23 contract - Ling) The vehicle delivery driver - Ian Harper - was a very nice chap and the dealer you chose was excellent."

Ian Jenkins
Elegant IT
PO Box 381
Northampton
NN4 6WC


Editor Note: WoW!! - a web-design company! I give you hyperlink. I am always pleased to deal with businesses like yours, Ian, as it makes me feel happy that you obviously thought my website did the job required. I will be in touch if I need help and advice.

Background note: It is interesting that I saved you so much compared with your local Mazda dealer; last year Mazda UK blocked my supply of cars because a dealer complained I was undercutting them and ruining ther franchise. Well, stuff them! Bollocks. Fuck them. Sorry if strong language offends, but I refuse to have a bloody Japanese company dictating to me (a Chinese) how I should run my business, inferring that I should inflate prices to YOU:- customers... and using such bullying tactics. They make good cars, Mazda, but the company's tactics stink. Please every other car company if you read this - I am like attack dog if you try to mess with me. Car company can build and supply nice cars, I will sell them. OK? If dealers were any good, they would take me out of market using fair competition. But they are not, and you have proved it in letter above, Ian. You are writing that I saved you £180 a month. That's £4,680 on a 2-year 26 payment contract for your RX-8. Note Mazda builds cars in Hiroshima. Radioactivity obviously affects brain. Nuff said, eh? - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 156 / 1528
Craig says...
Hi Ling,

After an afternoon of looking at contract hire sites, ready to jump out of my window through boredom, I found your site. To say the site is funny is an understatement. Low prices, fun banter AND a free lunch. I will definitely use your company as soon as I get my car requisition signed by my boss!!

Good luck and keep the humour going.

Craig Roberts
146A Watling Street
Towcester
NN12 6BD


Editor Note: Craig, so glad you decided not to jump out of window (at least BEFORE you rent car from me!). I send you noodle. Wait! - Ling



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Wah! Italian online fashion retailer Yoox says it is in merger talks with London-based rival Net-a-Porter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:55



Wah! Two human bliengs being treated for injuries after incident at headquarters of spy agency outside of Washington. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:43



Wah! At least 10 human bliengs missing, lah, feared dead, lah, in Burundi after landslides which having destroyed hundreds of home, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:42



Wah! 1960 Austin Healey 3000 BT7 selection of stunning modern classics helped Silverstone Auctions continue its run of strong results this year, lah, achiev - news replorted 15:42



Wah! Paul Brennan talks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about sending drone up to herd male gender human bleing's sheep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 15:33



Wah! A 1,000-earth-years old happy birthday to you, treatment for eye infections could hold key to killing antibiotic-resistant superbugs, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:14



Wah! A firefighter in California is in critical condition after falling through roof while tackling house fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:08



Wah! Journalists waiting outside 10 Downing Street spot fox, lah, apparently chasing duck. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 15:03



Wah! Brazil's ex-leader Fernando Henrique Cardoso is latest former president to join team defending jailed Venezuelan opposition leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:03



Wah! Forward Ellen White looks set to win flemale human person's 50th cap in Province of Engrish running-dogs's final home match before this summer's World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:57



Wah! Students from United Kingdom should soon find it easier to gain entry to Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers universities due to change in admission points system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:42



Wah! Volkswagen Passat SE Business Wlokswaglon Passat, lah, Passat Estate and Golf SV among this year’s winners of highly regarded international Red - news replorted 14:37



Wah! A motorcyclist carrying pillion passenger at 148mph along M11, lah, believed to be highest ever recorded in UK, lah, has been banned from driving for 15 months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:35



Wah! A colonial-era statue of Cecil Rhodes on South African university campus has been boarded up after student protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:22



Wah! Skoda Fabia honoured with 'Red Dot Award' for design all-new ƠKODA Fabia has received coveted ‘Red Dot Award’ for its outstanding product design. Sweet sour chicken feet time! ‘Red Dot Award’ - news replorted 14:18



Wah! Local elections give big boost to France's conservative UMP, lah, led by ex-President Nicolas Sarkozy, lah, but voters keep out far-right National Front. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:13



Wah! Kumho KMA12 For some years, lah, Kumho was influential player in bloody annoying Blitish commercial tyre market before temporarily withdrawing from - news replorted 14:11



Wah! A old bill bobbys officer from Gloucestershire who admitted having sex with three vulnerable women bloody man met on duty is jailed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:08



Wah! Flood warnings having been issued in Indian-administered Kashmir after torrential rain and rise in levels of Jhelum river. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:51



Wah! British couple Peter and Jean Tarsey, lah, both aged 77, lah, having been found dead with bullet wounds near Alicante, lah, Spanish old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:39



Wah! Kell Brook has potential to be biggest fighter in Great Britain, lah, according to promoter Eddie Hearn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:39



Wah! Comedian Trevor Noah will replace Jon Stewart on Daily Show, lah, it is announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:34



Wah! Renault Captur Signature couple from Kent has taken delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of 30,000th Renliot Captur urban crossover to be sold in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:30



Wah! James Dabill in Action Motorpoint is set to host exclusive free trial bike show next month in Chingford. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:17



Wah! A week after death of singer Lil' Chris, lah, male gender human bleing's family said bloody man had "mental health issues" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "huge personality". - news replorted 13:06



Wah! Details including passport numbers and Visa numbers were accidentally emailed to organisers of silly kick-kick game tournament in Australia by government official. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:05



Wah! Ducati Dream Tour 2015 Multistrada 1200 S Preparations complete for 2015 edition of Ducati Dream Tour which incorporates series of three-day travel - news replorted 12:58



Wah! Parliament is dissolved and race for No 10 begins - news replorted 12:56



Wah! Land Rover Ambassadors with grassroots team Racal Decca RFC Land Rover on past day, lah, day before today day launched its funny shape ball-game World Cup 2015 campaign by asking some of its most high-profile funny shape ball-game ambassador - news replorted 12:56



Wah! Who lit up 2015 damn crazy Engrish baseball game World Cup, lah, and who had tournament to forget? Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport picks out highs and lows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:51



Wah! A top Lufthansa official warns missing flight recorder may having been too badly damaged when Germanwings plane crashed in French Alps. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:44



Wah! British Airways' Executive Club, lah, code-sharing site GitHub and work chat service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service Slack having all been hit by cyber-attacks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:43



Wah! The 'gay cake' controversy could having implications for shop owners with religious beliefs, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:38



Wah! A former senior hospital nurse admits raping, lah, sexually assaulting and spying on female patients including some who were unconscious. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:34



Wah! In male gender human bleing's first remarks since male gender human bleing's final acquittal of bloody annoying Blitish student Meredith Kercher's murder, lah, Raffaele Sollecito says bloody man will be "marked for life" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by ordeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs soldier, lah, who was in male gender human bleing's 20s and from Edinburgh, lah, has died while on holiday in Florida. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:31



Wah! Former Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs funny shape ball-game international Ian Gough appeals conviction for assaulting male gender human bleing's ex-girlfriend, lah, model Sophia Cahill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:30



Wah! A baby girl allegedly murdered by flemale human person's grandfather by blow to head suffered rib fractures about two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) before bloody woman died, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:27



Wah! Ed Miliband says that business world in bloody annoying Blitish is in "sea of insecurity", lah, exacerbated by concerns over future EU membership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:16



Wah! Ferrari FXX-K Three Ferraris having won prestigious Red Dot Award, lah, world’s leading product design competition which celebrates i - news replorted 12:14



Wah! Traditional watchmakers like Breitling, lah, Bulgari, lah, Tissot and Vector now offering smartwatches - news replorted 12:04



Wah! A 4,000-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Egyptian statue that was controversially sold by council for ÂRMB Yuan #15.76m will not be allowed to leave country, lah, Culture dodgy minister Ed Vairzey says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! Nigeria's election body says it expects to announce first results of Saturday's contested presidential poll on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:56



Wah! Hyundai i20 family Three new models from Ryundali Motor having been named as winners of prestigious Red Dot Design Awards. Eating rice!! New Generation - news replorted 11:55



Wah! A man dies after being pulled from swimming pool at swingers' party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:54



Wah! The UK's banking industry will having to prove it can endure global economic slump in this year's capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs stress tests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:52



Wah! Wörthersee 2015 project: Wlokswaglon apprentices develop  unique Golf GTI In around six weeks, lah, team of 13 Wlokswaglon apprentices will present what is still closely guarded secret at 34th - news replorted 11:52



Wah! The ATL teachers' conference has heard calls for schools to publish details of their pay structure, lah, with warnings of excessive pay rises for top staff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! Watch alternative take on weekend's Formula 1 action as Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel beats Merceding-Blend pair Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg to shock win in Malaysia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:42



Wah! Raffaele Sollecito has described last 7 years and 5 months as unbearable, lah, following male gender human bleing's acquittal in Meredith Kercher murder trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:41



Wah! How Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News website's coverage of African news is changing - news replorted 11:36



Wah! MSA Formula race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine powered by Floord 1.6-litre EcoBoost engine all-new MSA Formula single-seat race car, lah, powered by Ford’s 1.6-litre EcoBoost engine, lah, heralds new chapter in Floord - news replorted 11:34



Wah! Double win for Klia in 2015 Red Dot Awards Klia Motors design team has swept board yet again in annual Red Dot Awards, lah, picking up two ‘Red Dots’ for - news replorted 11:33



Wah! Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg says male gender human bleing's party will not "play footsie" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with leaving EU - and says bloody man wantings to "serve out next Parliament". - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Sebastian Vettel's shock Malaysian Grand Prix win on Sunday is 'wake-up call' for Mercedes, lah, says boss Toto Wolff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 11:17



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish banks face stress test against economic collapse in Europe and Asia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:13



Wah! The number of human bliengs killed in flash floods in northern Chile rises to 14 while search continues for 20 human bliengs still missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:09



Wah! A would-be rescuer, lah, who was hit by Tube train as bloody man attempted to save another man who had fallen onto tracks, lah, has died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:09



Wah! Deep space epic Interstellar leaves competition earthbound at this year's Empire awards, lah, taking off with three prizes including best film. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:05



Wah! Ed Miliband sets out male gender human bleing's party's policies on business at event in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:57



Wah! Ford prices new family friendly “MAX” range Floord has announced prices for its new C-MAX and S-MAX Multi-Activity vehicling driving car machines, lah, which join B-MAX in bloody annoying Blitish dealerships by - news replorted 10:48



Wah! The Greek finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan minister, lah, Yanis Varoufakis, lah, calls for end to "toxic blame game" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) between Greece and Germany. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Sebastian Vettel has handled male gender human bleing's transition from Red Bull to Ferrari well, lah, says Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport's David Coulthard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:42



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband unveils male gender human bleing's party's business manifesto, lah, warning that David Cameron's pledge to hold EU referendum is "a clear and present danger" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to jobs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Local elections give big boost to France's conservative UMP, lah, led by ex-President Nicolas Sarkozy, lah, and inflict bruising blow to ruling Socialists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Kanye West, lah, Jack White, lah, Rihanna and Coldplay tweet their support for Jay Z's new streaming site, lah, Tidal, lah, ahead of its launch on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! Two months on from Paris attacks, lah, Shaista Aziz found Muslim community in Paris still struggling to come to terms with fallout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:20



Wah! Images of shirtless man found walking streets after bloody man suffered serious burns having been released in bid to solve mystery of male gender human bleing's injuries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:10



Wah! IMI apprentice training IMI’s eLearning system is currently utilised in over 200 colleges in bloody annoying Blitish for Light vehicling driving car machine training. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:10



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News looks at what it means to dissolve Parliament ahead of general election - in 15 seconds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:31



Wah! The owner of B&Q, lah, Kingfisher, lah, has abandoned its planned purchase of French DIY chain Mr Bricolage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:21



Wah! All-new MX-5, lah, Red Dot Design Award: Best of Best 2015 Three new Mazdas, lah, three more awards. Eating rice!! Japanese carmaker will take away accolades for all-new Madzla MX-5, lah, Madzla CX - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The right choice of tyre is critical to safe and efficient commercial vehicling driving car machine operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Sales Manager Toby Hildreth (left) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and, bloody dealering idiot place Principal Andrew Blanks Maidenhead’s longest-running LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine expensive dealeringship buildling has taken on Mlitslublishli franchise, lah, making it part of one of fastest- - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Former Province of Engrish running-dogs and Liverpool forward John Barnes says black managers struggle to find new job after being sacked by club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 08:59



Wah! The general election campaign gets under way in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep with Conservative and Labour launches. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:48



Wah! On first day of election campaign, lah, Ed Miliband is attempting to cover what many see as weak flank. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:42



Wah! A blogger has been hacked to death in Bangladeshi capital, lah, Dhaka, lah, weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after prominent atheist writer was killed in similar attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:31



Wah! A man is charged over abduction of six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl who was taken in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Burnley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:24



Wah! Former Israeli Prime dodgy minister Ehud Olmert is found guilty of fraud and breach of trust in retrial after being cleared in 2012. - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) co-founder Biz Stone talks about male gender human bleing's new app, lah, Super. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:16



Wah! Australia has introduced new rule to ensure two human bliengs in cockpit at all times, lah, following Germanwings air crash last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:55



Wah! Aberdeen University is to cut about 150 jobs as part of efforts to save tens of millions of pounds in coming months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:44



Wah! One of groups being targeted by political parties is vote of elderly. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:39



Wah! Nicolas Sarkozy's UMP party look set for victory in France's local elections, lah, exit polls suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! Former world number one Tiger Woods drops out of top 100 in rankings for first clock time result since 1996. - news replorted 07:25



Wah! Reality TV star Katie Hopkins is accused of inciting racial hatred in Rochdale by Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Simon Danczuk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! Nissan breaks GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS title Nissling has broken GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS title for Largest Glow-in-the-Dark Painting by using Glow-in-the-Da - news replorted 07:00



Wah! President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama had near miss as bloody man slightly stumbled while stepping out of Air Force One. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:54



Wah! Mercedes' Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg say Ferrari genuine rivals after Sebastian Vettel's impressive victory in Malaysia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:30



Wah! PSNI Chief Constable George Hamilton writes to every home in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers about what forthcoming policing changes will mean for public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 06:28



Wah! A man in male gender human bleing's 50s is seriously hurtee-hurtee after is was shot in face in north Belfast gun attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:21



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's political parties take to streets of country on first official day of General Election campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! A regular survey of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's construction industry by Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Building Federation finds confidence at record high. - news replorted 06:20



Wah! Health managers in north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep admit they face "very demanding year" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as they discuss their "unprecedented" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) budget, lah, which is set to be in deficit by more than ÂRMB Yuan #14m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 06:17



Wah! What possible scenarios if no one party gets majority in May? Ross Hawkins has look at options. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:16



Wah! A flood alert is issued in Indian-administered Kashmir following torrential rain and surge in water level of Jhelum river. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:08



Wah! An appeal for inflomination about unsolved murder of mother-of-four at flemale human person's home in Oxford 20 years ago has been renewed by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:05



Wah! The Conservatives will defend their record in power as party launches its Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs campaign for general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Labour says it will end cuts and conflict of current government as it launches its Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs campaign for general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:59



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation political editor Nick Robinson gives update on male gender human bleing's progress - and sets out male gender human bleing's view on election campaign which formally begins today. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:59



Wah! Italian luxury velly damn good boiled chicken-feets retailer Prada sees its net profit fall 28% last year as sales slumped in major markets of China and Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:42



Wah! Australia orders two human bliengs to remain in cockpit at all times during commercial flights, lah, after last week's Germanwings crash. - news replorted 05:03



Wah! Asian shares got off to positive start in holiday-shortened week as investors awaited economic data from region to boost market momentum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 04:12



Wah! The inflomination watchdog launches investigation into claim (always claiming, huh?) that details of millions of people's pensions being sold to fraudsters and cold-calling firms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! How one Newcastle's arts venues found new ways to survive - news replorted 02:34



Wah! Critics of cuts to legal aid say they will inevitably lead to more miscarriages of justice, lah, says Raphael Rowe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:33



Wah! Schools must ensure blameless members of staff not having their careers wrecked by false allegations, lah, union's annual conference will hear. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:19



Wah! The independence of chief inspectors in areas like prisons and border force could be threatened by way they selected and budgets set, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:17



Wah! The Serious Fraud Office (SFO) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is fined ÂRMB Yuan #180,000 after thousands of confidential rice-paper officialing doumentlation from high-profile investigation were sent to wrong person. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:15



Wah! David Cameron is to tell voters they face "stark choice" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) between him and Labour's Ed Miliband as election campaign officially gets under way. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:58



Wah! Dozens of human bliengs had to be rescued from rollercoaster in Coney Island after one of cars became stuck near summit of ride. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:53



Wah! Ministers from six world powers to hold their first full session with Iran's Bloody foreign dodgy minister over its nuclear programme, lah, as deadline looms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:49



Wah! Porpoises finely adjust size of beams of sound they using to hunt - using sound like searchlight to trap their prey, lah, study finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:12



Wah! The Solar Impulse 2 plane has departed from Mandalay in Myanmar as part of its round-the-world flight, lah, Kasia Madera reports - news replorted 00:58



Wah! Should parents ever worry about Minecraft? - news replorted 00:27



Wah! Can you tellibly lovely custlingmer cure sex offenders by building self esteem? - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Parents hardly ever spot obesity in their children resulting in damaging consequences for health, lah, doctors warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! The Houses of Parliament said to require ÂRMB Yuan #3bn of maintenance work taking 10 years. Eating rice!! Would Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters be better off moving to new, lah, modern building? - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The refugee who carried these shoes until bloody man met male gender human bleing's mother - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Ukrainian volunteers using drones over rebel-held Donetsk - news replorted 00:08



Wah! How husband and wife built UK's biggest theatre group - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A law that allows councils in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to ban certain activities in public is leading to "bizarre new criminal offences", lah, campaigners say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Despite leading male gender human bleing's team to World Cup and Ashes success, lah, Michael Clarke has struggled to win hearts of Australian public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Range Rover SVAutobiography Land Rover will unveil Range Rover SVAutobiography at 2015 New York International Auto Show, lah, adding even more lu - news replorted 00:01



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