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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1399 / 1528
Nicholas says...
 Excellent website and generally seem to have the best prices- even when sourcing something not on the standard list – beat all the other quotes I had. LINGO is a fantastic way of keeping in touch, everything in one place. Staff very friendly. I have no complaints at all – why use one of those miserable other leasing companies?

Excellent delivery, excellent service - clean car, on time etc. Showed me all the controls. And fitted mats!!

Nicholas Parnell
20 Balmoral Crescent
Lodge Moor
S10 4NE

Editor Note: Hahaha, exactly, all the rest are miserable buggers, eh? We had great fun and as you are an IT manager for a major bank I appreciate the comments about my secure LINGO system :) Enjoy the VERY fast 210bhp Golf, mind the speed cameras! The postman even ripped your letter, it was sent so fast... or was that you? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1345 / 1528
Mark says...
MAZDA 6First class service. I reported on the day of delivery that the Mazda 6 had not been fitted with reverse parking sensors ordered. Ling called first thing the next day and arranged with the dealer. The dealer was equally first class with the sensors fitted within two days. Will certainly recommend you.

Mark Beaumont
8 Rookery Chase
S36 2NF

Editor Note: Mark, as you are Senior Client Manager with a major Finance Company, I take your comments seriously. Thanks for very kind words. Dealer was very good at sorting their mistake, too. As you live in Yorkshire, everyone will note that the price was cheap, too. :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1300 / 1528
Kathryn says...
FORD FIESTAThank you Ling for the excellent service you provided. I don't hesitate in recommending you to friends and family. I cannot find fault with the service you provided, it was in fact excellent. We look forward to arranging our next vehicle with you when our lease is up. Thanks for all your help. No problem with delivery, but driver said car mats would be sent to us, but they haven't.

Kathryn Sykes
22 Bishop Gardens
S13 7EX

Editor Note: Well, Kathryn, I will send you a set of Ling mats, then. Usually cars do not come with mats, but when they promise, they should deliver, eh? Another super Fiesta delivery. As you are a teacher, I am pleased to say your spelling was 10/10, hahaha! Don't let the kids near the car. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1127 / 1528
Ian says...
AUDI A3Ling, running a small company is hard. So is setting service. Your service is FAB and you go the extra mile. Many businesses should follow. We know we go the extra mile. A3 is also FAB, the wife loves it. Excellent delivery by great guys!

Ian Miller
29 Limes Avenue
S75 6JW

Editor Note: Ian, hahaha. Well, it is harder for you, you are in Barnsley! :) Glad your wife likes the car, it is a lovely thing, that A3. Thanks so much for comments. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1083 / 1528
Timothy says...
 Absolute pleasure to deal with a real person with sense of humour, who is also totally professional, for my new Volvo C30. Good delivery.

Timothy James
Viresco Technology Limited
Unit 8 Riverside Park
Sheaf Gardens
S2 4BB

Editor Note: Great to hear you are happy chappy! Enjoy this Volvo which was cheaper than equivalent Focus! To help you with Google, I will say Viresco Technology do lawn care. Thanks, Timothy! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1077 / 1528
Roger says...
 What a easy way to lease a car, always up to date with communicating, answered all emails promptly only finance company slow in answering questions. Will use again.

Roger Storey
39 Lansdowne Cresent
S75 5PW

Editor Note: Yes, Roger, bloody finance companies are slow. They have operatives, not heart and soul communications. Sorry about that. You have a very cheap new Xsara Picasso. So glad to have you as a lovely customer! As a surveyor (a professional person) I value your comments. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1039 / 1528
Matthew says...
CarAfter deciding to go the lease route for a new car I nearly gave up after all the twaddle that other supplies were giving me about why my personal quote was around £100/month move expensive than their “cheap deal” on-line.

Then I found this website, Ling is super efficient, honest and quick to respond I had no problems with my deal and the price that was on the screen is the price I am paying! Another happy punter and so far so good. Ling is there an opportunity to comment at the end of the lease?

Delivery of my Civic Type-R was good, can't fault them really... but about time they supplied mats.

Matthew Briggs
47 Sparkfields
S75 6BH

Editor Note: Matt - Well, how happy this makes me. I hate the way some other companies advertise prices they cannot supply, it is very annoying for everyone. Great comments. The mats - well, you are leasing a car, not mats... I ask suppliers to strip out all unneccessary costs, so these might be victims of that policy. Some mats can cost £75!!! I can supply nice ones for £20, £5 less than Halfords charge. Comment; yes, you can comment anytime you want :) Feel free, hahaha. - Ling

Customer Letter: 932 / 1528
Alan says...
CarThe most efficient business I have ever dealt with. Everything done so professionally. Kept totally informed step by step. I wouldn't hesitate in recommending LINGsCARS to anyone. The delivery driver of my new Ford Mondeo gave me a good demonstration of the car.

Alan Johnston
4 St Davids Rise
S40 3HD

Editor Note: Crikey, Alan, what a recommendation! Now I have a bloody high standard of efficiency to keep up for new customers. I do know the way to do this to get maximum efficiency, and you were beautiful customer because you followed my prompts... it becomes more difficult when customers insist to want to do things in a different order. Because cars are such a big item, I prefer to make sure everything is safe and correct, rather than jumping ahead. Thanks for being so lovely, hope you have a great time in your new Mondeo. these are VERY good new cars! - Ling

Customer Letter: 918 / 1528
Danny says...
CarThe process of acquiring my new Nissan Qashqai was both smooth and very professional. Right from the start the communication was first class, all the information I needed was only an email or phone call away. The car was delivered on time and in perfect condition. The dealer service was excellent, too. I would recommend this website to anyone.

Danny Whiteley
24 Northwood Place
S6 1RA

Editor Note: Yo, Danny! Great, you grabbed a cheap new Qashqai and had a great time getting it - I'm so pleased. See you in 2-years! Enjoy the car, everyone loves these Qashqais. - Ling

Customer Letter: 883 / 1528
Linda says...
CarA very easy and friendly transaction. Ling was very helpful even when there was a delay from the dealer. I would definitely use Ling again. Thanks... (how do you say "thanks" in Chinese?)

Linda Richards
The Old Hall Cottage
Black Lane
S74 0DX

Editor Note: Linda, you say "xie xie" but it is pronounced "shay shay". That is thank you to most Chinese in the official Chinese language mandarin - (China, Taiwan, Malaysia, Singapore). In Hong Kong and the south of China (and probably your local Chinese takeaway), they speak Cantonese... so you would say it like this "mmm-goy". You should try it!! :) Anyway, all that rubbish aside, I'm glad you are happy with your Grande Punto oooop in Barnsley! Hahaha. I know you say thank you in Yorkshire by just making a grunting noise - my husband is from Wakefield. - Ling

Customer Letter: 857 / 1528
David says...
CarLong Live Ling!!!

Best deals on wheels and so much more FUN than your regular dodgy dealer. The paperwork got a little lost, but we will forgive Ling anything. Excellent delivery of my Kia Picanto, and a friendly drop-off.

David Hardy
Ancient Wisdom Marketing Ltd
Lancelot Works
Prospect Road
S2 3EN

Editor Note: David, you were a victim of the postal strike! Despite the fact that I sent all your stuff to the finance company special delivery, it still remains undelivered to this day. Bloody post office! Grrrr. Still, it didn't stop you getting your car on time :) Enjoy, you are a repeating customer. You are Europe's Biggest Online Giftware Wholesaler. Ancient Wisdom has over 10000 exotic, interesting & unique product lines spread over approaching 1000 web pages all available to order on-line for delivery next day in the UK (well you do your best). I am so pleased you used MY website to get your cars! - Ling

Customer Letter: 692 / 1528
Paul says...
CarLing, the Mini Cooper "S" is great... according to my wife - I haven't seen much of it!

The service you offer is great, if not a little wacky!

The car arrived as promised, when promised. It arrived in A1 condition, the driver was really helpful. You've been prompt with any information I've needed and I have to say I like your style. I probably wouldn't have gone for the leasing option if it wasn't for you and your company. Thanks again, and keep at it.

Paul French
9 Sycamore Road
S36 1FS

Editor Note: These new Minis have been really popular, it's a shame the factory struggles to keep up, BMW keep investing but the popularity means a bit of a wait for a new car. I'm so happy you like the service. Thanks for the kind letter, paul. - Ling

Customer Letter: 666 / 1528
Darren says...
CarEverything about Ling is as she says on her tin!

Fantastic, speedy, honest, reliable, hardworking and will go well over beyond-the-limits to make sure you are a happy chappy. I will never go anywhere else, now. Citroen C4 Grand Picasso is fantastic, thanks.

Darren Bristow
1 Rotherview Gardens
S26 4SB

Editor Note: Hehehe, as I say, Darren: on my tin it says "Made In China"! :) What can I say to you, you were a lovely customer. And you chose a car that every single customer that has had one thinks is VERY good. As you are from Yorkshire, you appreciate the low price, too :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 602 / 1528
Susan says...
CarThis is our fourth car from Ling - she found us the exact specification of VW Golf that we wanted, a 2.0 GT Tdi 140 bhp 3 door. Delivery time and price; - spot on! Once again, excellent service and a very easy website - no hidden extra costs. Excellent delivery service by a nice man.

I thoroughly recommend Ling.

Susan Hill
Stephen Hill & Co
29-33 Langsett Road South
S35 0GY

Editor Note: Susan, well, yes... you ARE a long time customer. Your previous cars have included a SAAB 9-3 Sportwagon, a Mini Cooper and a BMW. Thanks for being so loyal, I do try my best to give everyone good service... but when you come back again and again, I know I am doing something right. Hope you didn't get flooded out in the recent rain! Speak in a year or so :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 540 / 1528
Rebecca says...
MAZDA MX-5"Hi Ling,

I just wanted to say my MX5 arrived last Tuesday as promised (I'm sure you would have known sooner if it hadn't).

I've got to say I love my new MX-5, had my lid off a few times already and they say we are going to have a great summer - "bring it on!". I wanted to say thank you for an all round great service. Having never leased before I was a little wary but your response to my questions reassured me and the information on your website was a huge help. I cannot fault any part of the process...

    1. You couldn't be beaten on price.

    2. You responded to every email I sent within minutes - I even sent emails at 7am and 9pm and yet you still responded - what are you... superwoman? (no, just a bit of a saddo workaholic - Ling)

    3. The whole process took approx 3-weeks from initial enquiry to receiving the car.

    4. And to complete the service, a really friendly gentleman delivered my car just when you promised.

If anyone is thinking of leasing, I would recommend Ling 100%. Thanks again"

Rebecca Lymer
***** (address withheld)
S5 ***

Editor Note: Rebecca, for security I have no problem at all in withholding your full address. Thanks for the lovely letter! It all went so smoothly partly because you were so efficient with your own communication and paperwork! You got the cheapest MX5 in the country! Well done for acting so quickly and confidently - Ling

Customer Letter: 509 / 1528
Rebecca says...
MAZDA MX-5"Hi Ling,

Just to thank you again for an all-round great service. When I originally saw your website, I thought you were a little mad... but I have got to say you are one of the most honest people I have ever dealt with. I cannot fault the delivery of my new Mazda MX-5 at all, the delivery guy was relly nice and explained everything. Keep up the good work, and wish you all the best."

Rebecca Lymer
2 Musgrave Place
S5 8WT

Editor Note: Yes, well, if only Mazda UK realised how happy my customers are with their cars and my service, Rebecca. They continue to attack me and force my suppliers to blacklist me by threatening them which I believe is very unfair bullying business behaviour. I simply do my best for everyone and it was fun getting your car, thanks for being so great to deal with. Enjoy the fine weather at the moment and get your top down! - Ling

Customer Letter: 453 / 1528
David says...
MAZDA MX-5"Friendly, knowledgeable and an efficient service and delivery. I would highly recommend Ling and her company to anyone."

David Jones
5 Mexborough Road
Bolton Upon Dearne
S63 8LY

Editor Note: Brilliant letter, brilliant car (Mazda MX5) and brilliant customer! - Ling

Customer Letter: 433 / 1528
Ian says...
 "Ling, I was a lease virgin (there goes my Google rating - Ling) and you were very gentle with me on my first go!! :)

The Audi A4 Cabriolet is great, looking forward to taking the roof off when the wind/rain/snow stops. My Audi was delivered in an excellent manner, in a time slot which was great because that was the only time I was around. I'm recommending you to everyone in our company car scheme who wants to opt out of the 4-door boredom. "

Ian Watson
2 Hewers Holt
S43 4WJ

Editor Note: Oh, no, Ian. Now Google will think I am sex site due to your use of the V word. Still, in your new Princess Di car, you don't care about that. Mind your perm in the wind! - Ling

Customer Letter: 432 / 1528
Gilbert says...
 "I was recommended to visit by a friend who had been in the Motor Trade for years. Most leasing and contract hire sites were taking ages to respond and had no human contact. Ling got straight back with some cracking advice, opened my eyes further to the motor industry and she got my business because of the plain commitment to wanting it. The Audi dealer she chose was good, no fussing, just did the job as Ling promised they would. My advice: Lease a car from Ling, now - are you stupid? Wah!"

Gilbert Vasey
14 Crystal Peaks
S20 7PG

Editor Note: Gil, so glad you are happy with your Audi A6... but I sit here typing this really trying so hard; and I find it is impossible. It is like my fingers cannot avoid hitting the keyboard. They are out of control. Can only type one thing as my hands keep getting pulled back to the same keys: "This is one occasion you should be glad you DIDN'T go to SpecSavers", hehehe - Ling

Customer Letter: 369 / 1528
Bill says...
 "Hi Ling, Thanks for the great service - 3 weeks from first enquiry to shiny new RX-8 sitting on the driveway! Don't think I'll ever buy a car again when leasing is so much cheaper and easier.

We're just off for a quick spin on the M62 so we can wave to your rocket truck."

Bill Buchanan
8 Chapel Mews
S75 6PH

Editor Note: Bill, bear in mind you should salute, not wave. From Barnsley to Saddleworth and back will use probably £137.50 of fuel in an RX8, hehehe, so take your cheque book. My rocket truck (7-tonne 6x6 7.0 litre V8 petrol 150bhp - very nice noise) is marginally more economical than Mazda RX8 (1.5 tonne 4x2 1.3 litre hotpoint 1300, 231bhp, sounds like washing machine). Hehehe. Yours is faster, though, Bill. - Ling

Customer Letter: 339 / 1528
Louise says...
 "We have now converted all our cars to cars on lease - this latest one is a SAAB 9-3 Sportwagon - and all through Ling! Her service is excellent and she really tries to find the car we are looking for. Ling's website always has the best prices and it's the most fun, and her dealers are excellent!! We look forward to finding our next car with Ling."

Louise Hill
Oughtibridge Kitchens
29-33 Langsett Rd South
S35 0GY

Editor Note: Louise, Louise, oh with your SAAB so new; Louise, Louise, another car for you; Louise, Louise, I'm so in love with you-hooo-hooo. (Apologies to Debbie Harry - not big in China, anyway. And the love thing is not like lesbian shit. I'm Chinese. That's illegal for Chinese, my mum says. But no offence to Lesbians, especially if you want car!) - Ling

Customer Letter: 328 / 1528
Howard says...
BMW X3"Dear Ling

My BMW X3 arrived exactly as planned. A big THANK YOU for organising everything so quickly, and being cheerful with it! The BMW dealer was friendly, efficient and heplful. Full marks. I was particularly impressed with the way that you kept me informed every step of the way. "

Howard Jones
224 Bradway Road
S17 4PE

Editor Note: Howard, in return, I was particurlarly impressed with the way you dealt with my question; "Are you the crap singer from the 1980's?". Enjoy BMW X3, but don't take off road... they just have 4x4 to look good! You can buy spray-on mud these days :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 310 / 1528
Darren says...
LAND ROVER DISCOVERY"Fantastic to deal with, Ling keeps you informed. First-Class service. I'll be back for my next car soon."

Darren Asquith
HRS Housing Repair Service
Treecrest Rise
S75 1EB

Editor Note: Darren, now you have brand new Land Rover Disco 3 - this is an entirely suitable vehicle for crossing vast, barren wastelands of South Yorkshire slag heaps and disused coal mines. Be careful of driving down mine shaft hole! Please also to give Mr Scargill a toot on horn when you drive past his house in Barnsley. He is hero of glorious British Communist system failure - Ling

Customer Letter: 303 / 1528
James says...
 "After 15 years of company cars, I was dreading getting my own when the company I am with stopped its car scheme. However, Ling made getting my own car so painless - I can't believe anyone can be so efficient! Thank goodness the service ethic still exists in the UK! Also, a big thanks to Alan at the dealer, spot on service and delivery. See you in two years, Ling!"

James Wright
57 Ramsden Road
S60 2QN

Editor Note: Lovely letter, thanks James! My Citroen dealer is (usually) the best in the country. Thanks also for comments about my efficiency, most "large" leasing companies still don't gettit. Is it rocket-science to figure out why my cars are cheaper? The same reason that Ryanair are cheaper. Hmmm. Maybe they are job creation schemes, some of these other companies? But then who wants to simply subsidise other companies employees??? Have a good couple of years in your new Picasso, James!- - Ling

Customer Letter: 282 / 1528
Steven says...
CarThanks for all your help, Ling. Everything you said would happen, did, and on time! The excellent dealer was very helpful with the paperwork and delivery arrangements. I would have no hesitation recommending you to colleagues and clients.

Steven Braithwait
Braithwait and Company
S25 2XL

Editor Note: Oh, my husband is from Yorkshire which helps, as I can translate what you are saying to English, when you phone me, Steven. Enjoy BMW 320, that is same car as mine!!! Very nice, eh? - Ling

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Wah! Steve Rosenberg reports on how Muscovites can swap their tops for more pro-Russian t-shirts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:45

Wah! News images from around world: 23 September - news replorted 12:40

Wah! The latest release from TRL Software, lah, TRANSYT 15.0.4, lah, is now available as download from TRL Software website. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:40

Wah! The head of new commission on delivering more powers to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land has warned it will "not be easy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to getting agreement from Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs parties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37

Wah! MINI 5-door Hatch Cooper D Just six months after introducing new Milli 3-Door Hatch to UK, lah, much-loved British brand is launching another - news replorted 12:24

Wah! The remaining towers in Space apartment complex in Colombian city of Medellin will be demolished following deadly collapse last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:19

Wah! Nissan e-NV200 VIP Concept Zero emission e-NV200 is transformed for ultimate comfort city transport -introducing e-NV200 concept for VIPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:18

Wah! 1961 Veteran LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Run on Mall For only second clock time result in more than half century, lah, hundreds of veteran cars will start this year’s annual 60-mile adv - news replorted 12:18

Wah! Volkswagen Commercial vehicling driving car machines announces model change Wlokswaglon Commercial vehicling driving car machines announced new generation of successful T-series, lah, T6, lah, at press conference - news replorted 12:00

Wah! Nissan Navara Added safety, lah, greater style and new SE variant for Nissan's popular pick-up range. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:56

Wah! Insurers having been criticised for turning down claim (always claiming, huh?) from holidaymakers who had been drinking alcohol before having accident. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:54

Wah! Honda BTCC stars Matt Neal (left) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Gordon Shedden No fewer than five current or former racing drivers taking part in this year’s ALD Automotive/Fleet World MPG Marath - news replorted 11:48

Wah! Members of women's group in east London (capital of Great England) staging week-long occupation of housing estate next to Olympic Park, lah, in protest at number of empty properties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:45

Wah! Support is mounting for bloody annoying Blitish to join United States in military action against Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:42

Wah! British boxer Jerome Wilson is out of medically-induced coma bloody man was placed in after having operation on male gender human bleing's brain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:40

Wah! Patricia Hewitson from Exmouth, lah, Devon, lah, unwittingly grew 5ft (1,5m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! tall cannabis plant from pack of bird seeds - but flemale human person's error was only revealed when bloody woman contacted radio phone-in show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:40

Wah! The Citroën C1 URBAN RIDE concept Citroën is harnessing its creativity and technology to deliver enhanced comfort for its clustomlers. Eating rice!! True to its DNA, lah, - news replorted 11:38

Wah! Alibaba founder Jack Ma is China's richest person following male gender human bleing's company's record listing, lah, according to wealth survey by Hurun Report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! The Plugleot 2008 DKR As countdown to 2015 Dakar Rally begins to accelerate, lah, Peugeot-Total squad is continuing to develop fear - news replorted 11:33

Wah! 2015 Floord Mustang design For LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine designer, lah, chance to reimagine icon like Floord Mustang is always exciting. No spitting in damn website!!! Doing this for famous Floord - news replorted 11:32

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation footage recalls some of highs and lows for Ed Miliband and Labour Party over last 12 months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:21

Wah! Weeks after start of term, lah, many state schools in capital, lah, Islamabad, lah, still closed, lah, after being taken over by old bill bobbys drafted in to deal with ongoing political protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:18

Wah! The story of actor Ricky Tomlinson's jail term in 1970s has been turned into play called United We Stand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:08

Wah! Two human bliengs die after being hit by train in Slough, lah, Berkshire, lah, in "suspicious circumstances", lah, say police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:08

Wah! Nissan e-NV200 Innovative e4Business programme will help companies maximise their potential and give them chance to win new Nissa - news replorted 11:02

Wah! Two single-seater light aircraft collide in mid-air over Bedfordshire and one crashes to ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Barclays capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity has been fined record RMB Yuan #38m by bloody annoying Blitish regulators for failing to keep its clients' money separate from its own. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:57

Wah! A white tiger has killed Indian schoolboy at Delhi zoo, lah, officials and witnesses say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:51

Wah! The amount of new borrowing through personal loans has outstripped repayments every month this year, lah, figures from bloody annoying Blitish banks indicate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:46

Wah! The first Boughton Power-Reach® in build at Alex Inglis’ workshop Leading hook loader and skip loader manufacturer, lah, Boughton Engineering, lah, has appointed Blantyre-based Alex Inglis as e - news replorted 10:43

Wah! Motorpoint to open new site in Widnes Motorpoint is coming to Widnes. Eating rice!! UK’s leading LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine supermarket will open doors to its latest site in North We - news replorted 10:43

Wah! Nissan e-NV200 I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to its range of versatile, lah, practical and innovative models, lah, Nissling is cementing its position as global player i - news replorted 10:33

Wah! World premiere of Wlokswaglon TRISTAR at IAA Multifunctional like Swiss Tommy Atkins Liberation Army knife. What the hell I mean??!! Adaptable, lah, reliable and all-rounder: on eve of 30th anniversary of t - news replorted 10:18

Wah! Bentley Motorsport & Absolute Racing to compete in China Bentley Motorsport announces next phase of its race-winning Continental GT3 programme, lah, with signing of partner - news replorted 10:14

Wah! MPs' views will decide if bloody annoying Blitish joins strikes against Islamic State - news replorted 10:13

Wah! Olympic rowing gold medallist Katherine Grainger reveals how much bloody woman agonised over flemale human person's decision to getting back in boat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:10

Wah! Man, lah, 37, lah, arrested in London (capital of Great England) on suspicion of involvement in production of improvised explosive devices in Iraq - news replorted 10:07

Wah! Dutch electronics giant Philips says it is planning to split capitalist entity in two, lah, separating its lighting business from its healthcare division. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:06

Wah! Two Palestinians suspected of abduction and murder of three Israeli teenagers in June-mber month having been killed by Israeli forces, lah, Israel's military says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05

Wah! Government borrowing remained high in August, lah, hampering chancellor's efforts to reduce public deficit, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Low key tax disc communication could harm used LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine trade With just week to go until new rules governing vehicling driving car machine excise duty (road tax) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! begin, lah, Auto Trader has added its voice t - news replorted 09:51

Wah! Film-maker Bryan Singer is to direct X-Men: Apocalypse, lah, next movie in long-running blockbuster franchise. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36

Wah! At least three human bliengs killed in bomb attack in Pakistani city of Peshawar as violence returns after several months of relative calm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:31

Wah! A Sinn Féin MLA says bloody woman is "very concerned" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about pressure on emergency department at Royal Victoria Hospital on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:24

Wah! Andy Murray has spoken publicly for first clock time result about written-down messages on dead tree bloody man made on eve of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs independence referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:24

Wah! Leaders from 120 countries will meet in New York on Monday for climate change summit called by UN secretary General Ban Ki Moon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:19

Wah! Liberia is to become first nation in Africa to completely stop cutting down its trees in return for cash from Norway. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:11

Wah! British Olympic champion Katherine Grainger is back in training and considering bid to compete at Rio 2016 Games. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:09

Wah! Hunstanton Sea Life Sanctuary in Norfolk is set to re-open in Octoblinger after tidal surge damage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:06

Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs comedian Billy Connolly has said there will be "hell to pay" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if David Cameron does not honour male gender human bleing's pledge of extra powers for ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:05

Wah! The team which overhauled government's websites is attempting to solve problem of effective online identity verification. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:05

Wah! Does Labour having cash to expand health service? - news replorted 09:02

Wah! Mitsubishi Outlander PHEV TWO Mlitslublishli dealerships in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land went all out to spread word about game-changing Outlander PHEV at speci - news replorted 09:00

Wah! FISITA World Automotive Summit 2014 5th annual FISITA World Automotive Summit to be held in Paris, lah, France, lah, from 30 September – 1 Octoblinger this year will - news replorted 09:00

Wah! A second video has been released showing British journalist John Cantlie, lah, who is being held hostage by Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:53

Wah! On show at Museum of Modern Art in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep - news replorted 08:52

Wah! A badger found shot in abdomen inside west Somerset cull zone suffered "cruel and unacceptable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) death, lah, anti-cull campaigners say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:43

Wah! The presenter and physicist Brian Cox says bloody man supports idea that many universes may exist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:42

Wah! Andy Murray speaks publicly for first clock time result about written-down messages on dead tree bloody man made on eve of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:40

Wah! Plans for how Welsh land of sheep and more sheep will collect and manage its own taxes will be revealed by finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister Jane Hutt on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:29

Wah! A London (capital of Great England) bus used in Allied fighty bang-bang effort of 1914 is retracing its route in Belgium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:15

Wah! World leaders including Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama holding what they say is crucially important summit on climate change at UN in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:09

Wah! Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman has said that "long-term plan" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is needed to address problems in UK, lah, such as pay falling behind cost of living. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:03

Wah! Championship leader Lewis Hamilton heads to Japanese Grand Prix eyeing first ever win at tough Suzuka track. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:55

Wah! Ex-Manchester United player Phil Neville believes club need another two transfer windows of heavy spending to contend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:43

Wah! Troubled supermarket giant Tesco says its new chief financial officer, lah, Alan Stewart, lah, is joining capitalist entity immediately, lah, more than two months earlier than originally planned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:42

Wah! Only third of rail passengers happy with way their train capitalist entity deals with delays or cancellations, lah, survey has suggested. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:40

Wah! Designer shoe maker Jimmy Choo announces plans to list its shares on London (capital of Great England) Stock Exchange. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:22

Wah! The Rockefeller family, lah, which made its fortune from oil, lah, is to sell its investments in fossil fuels and put money into clean energy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:20

Wah! Ceefax, lah, service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service relied upon for sports news in days before smartphones and apps, lah, celebrates its 40th birthday today. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:18

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport takes look at 10 of best moments from Ryder Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 07:16

Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep risks losing key part of its historical heritage according campaigners trying to find buyer for Cardiff's Coal Exchange. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:16

Wah! A leading cancer charity says it is concerned disease is not being spotted early enough in young human bliengs because many too embarrassed to talk to their Gp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 07:02

Wah! Ministers accused of "shutting up shop" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by not revealing how each of Wales' seven enterprise zones is performing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 06:46

Wah! A court in China has found prominent Uighur scholar Ilham Tohti guilty of separatism and jailed him for life, lah, male gender human bleing's lawyer says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:31

Wah! US authorities say Omar Gonzalez, lah, who broke into White House on Friday evening, lah, had 800 rounds of ammunition, lah, machete and two hatchets in male gender human bleing's car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:16

Wah! A growing number of Super-Duper-Chinese-State companies exporting "tools of torture" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) such as electric shock batons and spiked metal batons, lah, Amnesty says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:06

Wah! Thousands of Hong Kong students to gather in park in front of government offices, lah, on second day of week-long protest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:44

Wah! David Cameron is to meet Iranian President Hassan Rouhani to persuade male gender human bleing's country to join international action against Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:31

Wah! A human rights watchdog is to investigate Met old bill bobbys after it emerged references to discrimination were deleted from internal reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:03

Wah! The Great Satan and allied nations having launched campaign of air strikes against Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! militants in Syria, lah, Pentagon says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:49

Wah! US and other nations begin air strikes against Islamic State in Syria, lah, Pentagon says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:35

Wah! The number of human bliengs dying from dengue fever in Malaysia has more than tripled this year compared with 2013, lah, with 250 cases being reported daily. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:50

Wah! Comedian Dawn French is to become new chancellor of Cornwall's Falmouth University. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:38

Wah! White House break-in adds to Secret service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service woes - news replorted 01:30

Wah! How lasers having revealed ancient city beneath forest - news replorted 01:14

Wah! Scientists at American Museum of Natural History and taxidermy experts having preserved Lonesome George, lah, last Pinta giant tortoise, lah, who died in 2012 in Galapagos Islands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:07

Wah! Hostages' families roll dice with public appeals for release - news replorted 00:38

Wah! Alex Salmond is to address Holyrood for first clock time result since ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land rejected independence and is expected to call for voting age to be lowered. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:38

Wah! Supermarket Tesco's suspension of four executives over overstated profit guidance leads several papers, lah, while others focus on claim (always claiming, huh?) of Breaking Bad-style murder plot. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:36

Wah! Movie style trailers increasingly common for theatrical shows, lah, but not everybody in theatrical world thinks they velly damn good boiled chicken-feet idea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! The White House announces new treasury department measures aimed at stopping companies avoiding Great Satan taxes by merging with overseas firms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

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