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CAR LEASING
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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen C4 Cactus 1.2 i PureTech 12v (110bhp) Feel Hatchback 5dr 1199cc Petrol at £212.39 inc VAT at 08:43 today - Ling
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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


You are viewing page 1 of 1 - go to page:

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Search my letters page!
From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Darlington
Show ALL My Letters

Letter
Customer Letter: 1427 / 1528
Helen says...
HONDA CR-VThis is the second car that we have leased via Ling and it's well worth it for the Chinese money and dubious sweets she packs in her letters. Fantastic service, foolproof step by step guides throughout the process and a laugh along the way too. And the new Honda CRV is fantastic! Excellent delivery. Fantastic! Arrived at 8.30 am- Perfect!

Helen Thomson
15 Nightingale Close
Brompton On Swale
DL10 7TR


Editor Note: Wow! What a letter!!! :) I think you are happy bunny, Helen. Lovely to deal with you and so pleased you like the terrible sweets :) I bet the CRV has been great in the 2010 snow we have been having. Lovely car, to a lovely customer, in a lovely part of the UK! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1353 / 1528
Karen says...
AUDI A3Yet again I have had fantastic service from Ling. My Audi A3 is absolutely great and it came on time. Delivered by a really helpful man. Everything done really efficiently.

Karen Hynes
The Crown Inn
Vicars Lane
Manfield
Darlington
DL2 2RF


Editor Note: Karen, well... I am pleased you are so happy for a second time with another car. I'm sure you are happy with the A3, a lovely car! I look forward to calling in for free drink when I am in Darlington (not too far from me). - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1310 / 1528
Andrew says...
 Listen up lurkers- Ling rules! She is cheap! She answers all your queries pronto! She delivers beautiful cars on time! She is 100% full on! She carries a neat line in miniature Chinese snacks! She is famous, and don't forget it!! Her website is genre-defying, rebel rousing, scruffy-chic cool. Join in and become a part of the Ling revolution, you'd be daft not to.

Honda Civic Type-R delivered by nice polite gentleman. Very professional. A friendly version of the guy in "The Transporter". Excellent!

image
The Honda delivery driver. Be nice to him, hahaha! - Ling

Andrew Rummery
Hill House
24 Richmond Road
Skeeby
Richmond
DL10 5DS


Editor Note: Hahahaha, you are a bloody lunatic, Andy! That guy might deliver your car but it would end up in 1000 bits and 27 people would die :) Unlike the Honda dealer who don't drive fast or race or rally your Type-R when it is on the way to you. Thanks so much for mentalist letter, it is so nice to have psychopathic customers. Thanks for calling me cheap. Good job you are from Yorkshire, yourself. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1225 / 1528
Paul says...
VOLVO V70Good work Ling. Everything went very smoothly and I was kept up to date via the LINGO - nice. I will be back for more! Thanks a bunch. Excellent delivery of my new Volvo V70.

Paul Reed
East End Cottage
Bellerby
Leyburn
DL8 5QN


Editor Note: Paul, cheers :) You now have a police-car lookalike estate to frighten the neighbours with. Shame it's silver, not white with dayglo pinstripe :) Enjoy your Volvo. As you are a Managing Director, I appreciate your comments re my service. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1210 / 1528
Leanne says...
NISSAN QASHQAILing provides a great professional service, with excellent communication and fantastic deals - we will be telling all our friends and family about your service - thank you. Excellent delivery of our new Nissan Qashqai, on time!

Leanne Clack
22 Youens Crescent
Newton Aycliffe
DL5 4ZE


Editor Note: Leanne, thanks. These Qashqais are local cars to you and me, being built in Washington. Glad you liked my service and comms, that will be LINGO :) I wait for your friends to flood me with enquiries, hahaha. As you are MD of a local company, I appreciate the comments. Thanks. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1073 / 1528
Steve says...
VAUXHALL CORSAThe Corsa is perfect. A joy to behold, like treasure from the gods! Gets me to work and back anyway. Your service is 1st class, can't fault you in anyway. Had to be patient but good things come to those who wait. Excellent delivery, a good friend actually delivered the car!. Excellent.

Steve Smart
41 Bluebell Drive
Middlestone Moor
Spennymoor
DL16 7YF


Editor Note: Steve, for those people reading this, you are a Firefighter (Fireman in the old money). This Corsa will enable you to get to your job and your 4 other jobs (hahaha) on time. All you need are blue lights and 2 horns. Room for a small ladder in the back? Thanks for biz, what a coincidence about the delivery! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 995 / 1528
Ian says...
CarLing, Honda Accord is great, but delivery people not so great. It arrived with 244 miles on the clock, having been driven from XXX, and I now have to deal with a speeding ticket issued to the delivery driver 4 hours before I got the car, but for which Honda UK have put me down as the driver!!

Ian Walton
2 Watling Road
Bishop Auckland
DL14 6RP


Editor Note: Ian, to be fair that was an automated process, they did not deliberately give the ticket to you. But, I am checking it is all sorted, as of course that was totally outrageous. It is so easy to get these tickets these days. The mileage will be adjusted on the contract, that is acceptable as a delivery mileage and you won't be charged for those miles. Apart from all that (phew) which drives me mad as well because it is so unnecessary - you are very happy with the car, which is great. I have kicked the delivery people. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 968 / 1528
Selina says...
CarYou made it so easy and it all happened so quickly. Definitely use you again when my lease comes to an end. Everyone at work is so jealous (of my new A3), I'm passing on your website to everyone. Excellent delivery, bang on time at 7am! By a very nice man.

Selina Brierley
Blenheim Close
Scorton
Richmond
DL10 6TE


Editor Note: Wow!! That's an early delivery Selina. I hope you were out of your pajamas! These A3s are such good value, at the time I type this, they are my No1 best-selling car. Enjoy blasting around North Yorkshire in it. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 957 / 1528
Stewart says...
CarLing, what can I say? The Ford Focus is great - in fact its latest 08 model and I expected '07 version; great.

Like last time (when I had a Citroen C4) I was a bit anxious about the wait (after payment) but well pleased now my new car is here (I had bit of trouble if you remember with Citroen waiting car back before I had it 3 years!!).

Ling -anyway- YOU deliver a great service! You always reply promptly and try to put my mind at rest - all the best for now. Glad your family are OK in Chinese earthquake!

Stewart Maxwell
Arnisdale
Hudswell
Richmond
DL11 6BN


Editor Note: A couple of things here: Citroen made a mistake, that was sorted, after a few emails :). I can only deliver the cars that are physical - a Galaxy customer got upset because Ford REDUCED the spec on his Zetec Galaxy... but I cannot alter factory builds. I will always try to push for latest cars :) ... and yes, my family were in the centre of the earthquake, but luckily all is well with them. They slept in a park for a week (and my dad is late 70's!). My mum said the whole house shook and the furniture all fell about and off the walls. She hid in the loo! Thanks for asking. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 803 / 1528
Jonathan says...
CarThe Alfa 159 arrived today as planned. I have never leased a car before and was a bit anxious that it wouldn't all come together. I was worried because I never actually spoke to anybody in arranging all of this and still doubted that the car would come, even as it pulled up my street. I am really happy with the car, the service and the price. No problems with delivery. The car is spotless, the driver came when he said he would and was really friendly, even though it was raining. The only trouble now is keeping to my agreed mileage. Thanks for making this a smooth operation,

Jonathan Dobson
18 Fontenay Road
Richmond
DL10 5AE


Editor Note: Jonathan, hehehe, how could you not trust me? :) Of course the car arrives. Everyone who has a 159 loves the car to drive, though as ever, some customers say they have the odd fault. This is still not a Lexus in quality, although the enjoyment from driving seems greater. Glad you are happy with the car, the service and the price... otherwise I would have to come down to Richmondshire and beat you up. Some great driving roads around there up in the Dales. Go drive! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 735 / 1528
Ann says...
Car
Need a new car,
No need to look far,
Drop her an email,
Give her a ring,
You can't do better than Ling.

She is really unreal,
Will get the best deal,
She won't hang around,
Is quick off the ground,
Go for the best, GO LING!

... only complaint was delivery at 6.30am!

Ann Pearce
41 Oaktree Close
Middleton St George
Darlington
DL2 1HJ


Editor Note: Ann, that is a lovely poem, so thoughtful. Well, the Volvo was a very good alarm clock, eh? :))) It's nice to have a lovely surprise like this in a morning! What a thing to wake up to, a new car :). - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 730 / 1528
Helen says...
CarThis lady is fantastic!

The Rav 4 is fantastic and the Chinese sweets - well NOT so fantastic, but who cares? The service Ling provides is faultless and many of our friends are very interested in lease hire through Ling, as we can't stop telling everyone!

Ling, we love you!

Helen Thomson
15 Nightingale Close
Brompton on Swale
Richmond
DL10 7TR


Editor Note: Well, hmmm, not sure about the lady-love, but I am damn pleased you like the Rav and the service. Hope you have a lovely time, in a very lovely part of the UK... I can just imagine you in the snow playing with the Rav 4. Sorry about the poison sweets, just my little fun. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 577 / 1528
Karen says...
CarHaving just got my second new car through Ling, I would say I am extremely impressed with the excellent service. She is no-nonsense and straight talking unlike some other companies I contacted.

I recommend Ling to my customers and friends. Having one car taken away and being delivered another, was very smooth. Excellent delivery driver.

Karen Hynes
The Crown Inn
Vicars Lane
Manfield
Darlington
DL2 2RF


Editor Note: Hello, Karen! You are a long-term customer and I always like to deal with pubs as it is very convenient to call in for a drink, hehehe. You swapped a Citroen Picasso for a Mazda 3, wow, so different. I wonder which you prefer? See you in Darlington, sometime. I will have a Bailey's... - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 527 / 1528
Jonathan says...
SKODA FABIA"Great price, great communication, great car. Ling comes highly recommended, I will definitely be getting my next car from her. Fast delivery, very professional service."

Jonathan Stephenson
Stephenson IT Consultancy
54 St. James Drive
Romanby
Northallerton
DL7 8YW


Editor Note: Jonathan, we are so similar. When I looked at your business, I saw you simply provide a good, honest, simple service - that works. Anyone in North Yorkshire with computer problems should call you, you will be there in new, fast Skoda Fabia VRS in about 25 seconds! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 445 / 1528
Mike says...
MAZDA MX-5"We are always very pleased with the service we get from LINGsCARS and the prices are also very keen. Good delivery. However, you make too much profit from poor people like us, we cannot even afford a bowl of rice a day! Wah!"

Mike Johnson
Micol Batteries Ltd
Unit 6, Endeavour Court
Lingfield Way
Darlington
DL1 4JW


Editor Note: Whoa! You frighten people reading these letters, Mike! Really, you are bloody damn rich battery importer and distributor, and supply all types of batteries from Duracell things to bespoke camera batteries. You are replacing old shape 1.6 MX-5 with new shape 1.8 at same price! Hope you like it - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 403 / 1528
Mandy says...
 "This is the first time I have had a car on contract hire, but it won't be the last (I hope). Fantastic new Renault Megane Coupe Cab, which arrived while there was still some sunshine left to "pose" in. Ling was very helpful and easy to speak to. Although I wanted a black car (everyone else told me I'd regret it), I was too impatient to wait until one was available. So I went for a gunmetal grey which looks clean for longer.

My new car was delivered at lunchtime, on time, to suit me. The dealer was excellent, very prompt and the car was well demonstrated by the delivery man. I can recommend Ling with no hesitation, I will be back when the contract runs out. "

Mandy Teasdale Chiropodist
85 West Auckland Road
Darlington
DL3 0LF


Editor Note: Maybe I come down for a foot-massage, next time in Darlington, Mandy? I am often down there as super-husband owns a business in Darlington. Really glad you are happy with your car, thanks for being so kind with your comments - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 377 / 1528
Craig says...

BMW 1-SERIES"Ling Valentine is crazy and cool. I absolutely love dealing with her. Not only is she by far the most competitive car company I have come across, she is also great fun and very efficient.

If you like great deals and great fun, deal with Ling. I have has numerous cars and have dealt with her for over five years."

Craig McLeod
Northern Aviation
Durham Tees Valley Airport
Darlington
DL2 1NW


Editor Note: What Craig doesn't say is that he owns a small executive airline, with several twin engine executive planes, helicopters and also some fun planes like three ex-RAF Bulldogs. Craig has taken me for aerobatics in one of these, and looping the loop was fantastically brilliant. I give him hyperlink as he is TOP MAN and anyone needing executive fast top-quality aeroplane transport anywhere in Europe should contact him. It is not as expensive as you think - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 252 / 1528
Stewart says...
CarLing, thanks for a great deal. Some delay initially - but more due to Honda not responding to Ling (yes, Honda overcomitted on Jazzes, and the available cars were overpromised by Honda, sorry about that, happens sometimes with these big suppliers and not under my control - Ling). We then switched to a Citroen C4 (better car - Ling) and Ling got us a great one-off deal. There was some limitation to the choice of makes (I can't ever supply everything! Sorry about that - Ling) but her prices more than make up for this. Her website is clear - it's informative and fun. All my emails and phone calls were returned promptly. This was a new experience for us, we will keep in touch and return in two years!!!

Stewart Maxwell
Arnisdale
Hudswell
Richmond
DL11 6BN


Editor Note: Phew, Stewart, those Honda Jazzes caused me such a problem. At first supply promised, then supply interrupted, on-off, on-off. Sometimes this happens with very cheap cars, although I manage to keep it to a minimum. Thanks for being so understanding. Glad you like website, and I am so pleased I passed your communication test. You were good customer - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 249 / 1528
Suzanne says...
CarLing is the maddest Chinese bird I have ever come across. She found me the only available Mini Cooper in the UK, plus she delivered it in double-quick time. I have worked this out (I am an accountant): This is certainly the cheapest way to run a brand-new car, in the UK today (My red letters - Ling). I am 100% satisfied, 100% recommend Ling, and am 100% happy with my new Mini Cooper! Perfect service from the BMW Mini dealer, too, by the way.

Suzanne Turner
Escomb Road
Bishop Auckland
DL14 6AB


Editor Note: How kind are your words, Suzanne! It is true, you had last available Mini Cooper in UK at that time. My favourite dealer had a cancelled order from someone else and especially saved it for one of my customers! You! Dealer is sweet, you are sweet, I even forgive you for calling me "mad Chinese bird" :). How nice to have accountant confirming cheapness of running my brand new cars, I hope you don't mind me highlighting your words in red ink - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 239 / 1528
Simon says...
CarLing. Thank you, the Mercedes CLK was the same as you described on your website (of course! - Ling). No hidden charges, just exactly as you said (Yes! Of course! - Ling). Delivery was prompt, and dealing with you and your company was a pleasure (Wah! Of course it is! It is compulsory to have pleasure - Ling). Thank you again.

Simon H**
Address Withheld
Durham
DL17 ***


Editor Note: Why Mercedes customer always seem surprised I give good service and tell truth? Maybe Mercedes garages usually full of bullshit. That probably true. Hmmm, but you were very nice customer, Simon and I hope you enjoy lovely CLK sporty car - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 228 / 1528
Steve says...
CarThanks for the BMW Z4, Ling! I was kept up to date with the delivery time despite factory order, you were cheaper than any other company I could find and your website sold me instantly! Easy and straight forward. Thanks again!

Steve Vernon
McMullen Rd
Darlington
DL1 1YS


Editor Note: Steve, sorry you had to wait for car to come into stock, but there were no Z4's available for immediate delivery in UK when you ordered. I always say I cannot do miracles, as I am Chinese not Catholic. For miracles you need THIS website. Enjoy Z4! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 200 / 1528
David says...
CarTHE BEST: Premier League Class. At Darlington FC we get car offers 24/7 from all over the country. But not one could beat Ling, with the price or the quality of service... and to be able to speak direct with the boss just made it better. The supplying BMW dealer was equally as good as LINGsCARS.com.

When we get promoted we will be back for Bentleys!

David Hodgson
Darlington FC
Darlington
DL2 3TY


Editor Note: Wow! Now I must be into big time supplying football clubs. Darlington FC will be welcome to rent Bentleys (although I have never sold Bentley - yet!), and maybe David will put me in touch with other footballing David (Beckerham) and Poshy for more Bentley sales - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 147 / 1528
Karen says...
CarAfter phoning a few companies I went back to Ling because she gave a no-nonsense answer to my questions. Having Contract-Hired for the first time, I would definitely recommend Ling for doing exactly what she said she would do, when she said she would do it. My Picasso even arrived 10 minutes early!

Karen Hynes
The Crown Inn
Vicars Lane
Manfield
Darlington
DL2 2RF


Editor Note: You can get so many beer bottles in a Picasso, eh, Karen? I will shout at dealer for not achieving 100% perfect delivery, however they redeem themselves because you give them "excellent" score - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 131 / 1528
Rob says...
Your site has entertained me for over an hour! Thank you. I am hungry now. Please send noodles. I can't eat keyring!

Rob
5 Fairfax Road
Middleton St George
DL2 1HF


Editor Note: Rob, real test is; will you order car? Let's wait and see! If you are really that bored you spend 1 hour on site, maybe you volunteer to be car washer at Brindley Honda? They need one. Noodles on way - Ling



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THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Apple chief executive Tim Cook has publicly acknowledged male gender human bleing's sexuality saying bloody man made male gender human bleing's announcement to help others struggling with their identity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:14



Wah! LATEST:  The Great Satan economy grew at annual rate of 3.5% in third quarter, lah, better figure than economists were expecting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 13:10



Wah! It's Caption Challenge. What the hell I mean??!! Oh yes it is. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:07



Wah! What Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters can and can't wear in parliament - news replorted 12:59



Wah! An advance party of 10 Iraqi Kurd fighters having entered Syrian border town of Kobane to join battle against Islamic State militants, lah, activists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:58



Wah! A Home Office dodgy minister insists change of policy on Mediterranean search-and-rescue operations would save lives - after Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters call it "shameful" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "a new low". - news replorted 12:52



Wah! More talks having been held to pave way for chief executive of Pembrokeshire council to receive ÂRMB Yuan #330,000 pay-off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 12:51



Wah! Health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service cuts in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers may mean more than 100 fewer hospital beds and some wards closing at weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:50



Wah! A German lorry driver who carried out hundreds of shootings on country's motorways has been jailed for more than 10 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:39



Wah! Are days of humble key numbered? - news replorted 12:26



Wah! A photograph of mother breastfeeding flemale human person's premature baby has gone viral after it was deleted by Facebook. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:24



Wah! Filling up at motorway service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service station can cost average motorist extra ÂRMB Yuan #8 tank compared with elsewhere, lah, RAC says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:05



Wah! How Borgen legacy of Birgitte Nyborg, lah, Kasper Juul and others live on for some in Danish circles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:41



Wah! Four men expected to appear in court after cannabis haul with street value of up to ÂRMB Yuan #1.8m was found in disused Borders pub. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 11:39



Wah! Steph McGovern reports from new Jagluar Land Rover Engine Manufacturing Centre in Wolverhampton where robots can construct engine from its component parts in under minute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:34



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Wah! Prince Harry meets supporters of British Legion's London (capital of Great England) Poppy Day Appeal at Buckingham Palace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:14



Wah! A military court in South Korea gives prison sentences ranging from 25 to 45 years to four soldiers involved in death of junior soldier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:07



Wah! A Libyan man can sue bloody annoying Blitish government over claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody man was illegally sent back to Libya and tortured, lah, Court of Appeal rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:06



Wah! Vauxhall Corsa breaks Guinness World Record for largest GPS drawi Did you tellibly lovely custlingmer ever realise that Loughborough hid jagged tooth of giant, lah, fearsome pumpkin? - news replorted 11:03



Wah! Molten lava from volcano eruption on Hawaii's Big Island has been flowing slowly across island. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! A woman whose two sons died after house fire in West Yorkshire blames flemale human person's estranged flemale human person's husband for murdering them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:00



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Wah! The revenue generated by engine manufacturing in bloody annoying Blitish is expected to increase by up to ÂRMB Yuan #2.5 billion in two years, lah, incr - news replorted 10:49



Wah! A single mother with one-earth-years old happy birthday to you, twins explains to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast how bloody woman needed Danish sperm donor and how bloody woman plans to tell girls about their conception. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:46



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Wah! W H Bowker celebrate 42 years of close collaboration with Volvo International and bloody annoying Blitish logistics specialist W H Bowker, lah, who based in Bamber Bridge, lah, Lancashire, lah, celebrating 42 yea - news replorted 10:14



Wah! The BBC's Divya Arya reports from India, lah, where women of 60 and 70 becoming mothers for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:01



Wah! XIV Air concept unveiled at Paris Motor Show further 10 new dealers having signed-up to represent SsangYong, lah, Korea’s oldest LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine brand, lah, bringing to 20 number of n - news replorted 10:00



Wah! The London (capital of Great England) to Brighton Veteran LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Run Thousands of spectators will line route of annual London (capital of Great England) to Brighton Run Veteran LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Run, lah, which starts at dawn o - news replorted 09:51



Wah! Infiniti Motor capitalist entity Ltd. I read you little red book! has selected Crispin Porter + Bogusky as its new global creative advertising agency of recor - news replorted 09:49



Wah! The new BMWah-wah! X5 M ultra-high performance with exceptional fuel efficiency that characterises every LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine from BMW’s sporty M division is - news replorted 09:36



Wah! The United Nations is appealing for thousands of healthcare workers to volunteer to help in countries worst affected by Ebola. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:32



Wah! old bill bobbys arrest 73-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man in Dunmurry, lah, on outskirts of Belfast, lah, in connection with murder of Jean McConville. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:16



Wah! Images showing new face of Cardiff city centre revealed showing how it will look following massive development project. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:14



Wah! The father of murdered schoolgirl Sarah Payne is found dead at male gender human bleing's home in Kent, lah, according to reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! From ...you wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour changing glasses to space age cooling waistcoats - latest technology in Japan - news replorted 08:58



Wah! Winner John Surtees & Tom Purves, lah, Chairman, lah, RAC Club John Surtees: my velly own damn Incredible Life on Two and Four Wheelshas won first Royal Automobile Club Motoring Book of Year - news replorted 08:43



Wah! The House of Commons is to debate government policy on drugs, lah, with Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters from all parties calling for review of 40-year old legislation on drug misuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:38



Wah! Minister for Transport, lah, Keith "Dear Leader" Brown MSP, lah, has said that bloody man recognises and values freight transport as key enabler for e - news replorted 08:37



Wah! Supercar spotters looking to ogle latest automotive exotica might normally head to Knightsbridge, lah, but London (capital of Great England) pos - news replorted 08:27



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish housing market is showing signs of slowing down, lah, Nationwide says, lah, with annual rate of price growth slowing to 9% in October. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:24



Wah! Volunteers from WellChild carry out Helping Hands project Cheltenham based charity WellChild is hitting road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu all over bloody annoying Blitish helping seriously ill children and their families - news replorted 08:19



Wah! The Liberal Democrat dodgy minister responsible for tackling drug use, lah, Norman Baker, lah, says government should look at drug abuse as health issue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:12



Wah! Japan's Crown Princess Masako - who has been hit by stress-related illness - attends banquet for Dutch royals, lah, flemale human person's first such appearance in 11 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:11



Wah! Mother Karen Audino says bloody woman wantings tighter restriction on so-called legal highs after flemale human person's son Jimmy Guichard died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Alison Hammond and AljaĹľ Skorjanec To reach this milestone, lah, Dynamic Duo called on Strictly Come Dancing stars Alison Hammond and AljaĹľ Skorjanec to qui - news replorted 08:00



Wah! The Engine Manufacturing Centre opening of state-of-the-art Engine Manufacturing Centre is seminal moment for Jagluar Land Rover as it embarks - news replorted 08:00



Wah! San Francisco Giants claim (always claiming, huh?) their third World Series in five years with 3-2 win over Kansas City Royals and 4-3 series triumph. - news replorted 07:50



Wah! Islanders in Outer Hebrides waiting to hear if MoD was responsible for huge bang heard as far apart as Benbecula and Barra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:39



Wah! Barclays reports profits of ÂRMB Yuan #3.72bn for first nine months of year as it sets aside ÂRMB Yuan #500m relating to "investigations" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) into Bloody foreign exchange trading. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! With most Nato members intent on cutting defence spending, lah, Mark Urban asks alliance's new chief Jens Stoltenberg how bloody man can stop it becoming association of broken promises. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:30



Wah! A prison with more than 2,000 inmates will having "knock-on" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) effect on local health and NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) services, lah, which will need more funding, lah, says watchdog. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 07:27



Wah! Prominent right-wing Jewish activist Yehuda Glick is shot and seriously wounded in Jerusalem; old bill bobbys say they having shot dead suspect in exchange of fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:56



Wah! As Hollywood targets China's growing box office, lah, country's filmmakers looking to develop its own industry amid strict censorship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:43



Wah! The chief executive and four trustees of Disabled old bill bobbys Officers Association of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers having been suspended. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:37



Wah! The American envoy to inter-party talks, lah, Gary Hart, lah, is to having another round of talks in Belfast later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:25



Wah! Nigerian President velly damn good boiled chicken-feetluck Jonathan breaks male gender human bleing's silence to confirm that bloody man will run again in February's elections, lah, male gender human bleing's office says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:02



Wah! A pilot for Flybe was removed from plane and arrested on suspicion of being over drink controlling in driving manner limit just before bloody man was due to fly. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Taiwan bans its senior government officials from higher studies in mainland China, lah, citing "national security" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) reasons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:59



Wah! Some 50,000 relics having been discovered in Mexico in ancient city of Teotihuacan, lah, archaeologists having said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:54



Wah! A legal challenge to government plans to privatise some probation services in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is launched by probation officers' union Napo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:00



Wah! Microsoft unveils wearable device that can track user's sleep and exercise as well connect to fitness tracking service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service on smartphones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:51



Wah! A nurse who cared for Ebola patients in Sierra Leone is fighting Great Satan state of Maine over its right to quarantine flemale human person's against flemale human person's will. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:19



Wah! Passengers should not having to stand for more than 20 minutes during journey says rail dodgy minister Clare Perry, lah, but admits this is "not always achieved". - news replorted 03:01



Wah! Scientists confirm that frog found living in New York City wetlands is new species. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:36



Wah! Tunisia's secularist Nidaa Tounes party wins 81 seats in parliament, lah, pushing Islamists of Ennahda into second place, lah, official results show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 02:06



Wah! Rescue workers in Sri Lanka intensify their search for survivors of tea plantation landslide which is feared to having buried more than 100 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:51



Wah! The nuclear attack on bloody annoying Blitish that never happened - news replorted 01:50



Wah! Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto meets families of 43 students who went missing more than month ago, lah, sparking nationwide protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:37



Wah! TV duo Ant and Dec to host 2015 Brit awards, lah, 14 years since last clock time result they presented ceremony. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:35



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's strange and ancient Halloween alternatives - news replorted 01:34



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish graduates who went to private schools earn thousands of pounds more, lah, on average, lah, than those who were state-educated, lah, research finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:27



Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is finding it "increasingly difficult to cope", lah, according to public spending watchdog. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:19



Wah! Ongoing conflict in South Sudan is taking heavy toll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News looks at some of numbers behind crisis - news replorted 01:17



Wah! There "significant gaps" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in raising standards in schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, report by spending watching National Audit Office says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:17



Wah! Labour's bloody annoying Blitish leader Ed Miliband will attend gala dinner in Glasgow as process of finding new Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs leader continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:09



Wah! A massive international study has started to unpick "fine details" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of why some human bliengs develop autism, lah, say researchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04



Wah! A bloody annoying Blitish national sperm capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity - charged with reversing growing shortage of sperm - starts work in Birmingham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:00



Wah! Vulnerable patients in Province of Engrish running-dogs will getting better support in community as part of plans to ease pressure on hospitals, lah, dodgy ministers say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:46



Wah! A son pays tribute to male gender human bleing's father who died along with two others after getting into difficulty off beach in Cornwall. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:44



Wah! The Great Satan Federal Reserve is widely expected to announce end of its "quantitative easing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) policy this week. What you wan'?!! Has it worked? Or has it set scene for another financial crisis? - news replorted 00:42



Wah! Television news ethics come under fire in Jake Gyllenhaal's latest film, lah, Nightcrawler. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! Is eating sage better for your as really velly special customer's alertness than coffee? - news replorted 00:35



Wah! National Australia capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity is considering floating its Clydesdale and Yorkshire banking operations on stock market as part of exit from Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:33



Wah! Samsung Electronics sees its quarterly operating profit fall to its lowest level in more than three years because of slowing smartphone sales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! The Leonardo hidden from Hitler in case it gave him special powers - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Jetpacks, lah, driverless cars and solar roads - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Manager Manuel Pellegrini is "worried" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by Manchester City's form ahead of Sunday's derby against Manchester United. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:26



Wah! This year's mid-term elections set to become most expensive in Great Satan history. You give me happy happy luck luck. Where is this money coming from and what is it doing to campaigns, lah, candidates and political process? - news replorted 00:17



Wah! Newcastle manager Alan Pardew says bloody man is confident in male gender human bleing's ability after knocking Manchester City out of League Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 00:15



Wah! The government's strategy on illegal drugs, lah, tax pledges and care for elderly among stories on front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:15



Wah! Forty years since Ali took on Foreman in Kinshasa - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Papers seen by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation suggest cuts to Employment and Support Allowance being contemplated but dodgy ministers say it is not policy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:06



Wah! The RUC Special Branch withheld some intelligence inflomination from detectives trying to catch those responsible for Omagh bombing, lah, report has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:05



Wah! A Home Office study of drug policies used across world suggests there is no link between how tough penalties and level of drug use. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:01



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