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    Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

    Wah! LATEST:  Five men arrested by West Midlands anti-terrorism old bill bobbys and Tommy Atkins Liberation Army bomb disposal team is sent to Lee capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity area of Birmingham as "precaution". - news replorted 18:31

    Wah! LATEST:  Chris Froome remains third in Vuelta Espana as Belgian Jonas Van Genechten wins stage seven. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:22

    Wah! Olympic champion Andy Murray will play Czech Lukas Rosol in first round of Great Satan Open, lah, which starts on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:54

    Wah! Honda’s factory teams unveil 2017 Rondla CRFs at MXGP all-new 2017 Rondla CRF450R and CRF450RX were revealed today at MXGP of Netherlands by Honda’s factory riders - news replorted 17:30

    Wah! A 78-earth-years old happy birthday to you, former Province of Engrish running-dogs funny shape ball-game player foils robbery attempt by three men, lah, chasing them out of male gender human bleing's house in Malta armed only with mug of tea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 17:19

    Wah! A prototype Apple 1, lah, holy-grail item in electronics memorabilia, lah, has sold for $815,000 (RMB Yuan #618,000) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in online auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:10

    Wah! 50 years of Wlokswaglon Motorsport Showcasing spectacular history: Wlokswaglon is staging special, lah, interactive exhibition looking back on its history of - news replorted 17:10

    Wah! L:R Mark Gessler, lah, Stewart Laidlaw, lah, Kirk Bewley and Mckeel Hagerty At Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance on Sunday 21 rainy coldddd month August 2016, lah, FIVA awarded its preservation trophy to 1902 Thom - news replorted 16:51

    Wah! Ryan Lochte has no plans to publically respond despite Brazilian old bill bobbys charging him with making false statement over robbery, lah, male gender human bleing's lawyer says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:48

    Wah! The rebel-held city of Darayya is being evacuated by government forces after last rebel fighters agreed to hand over their weapons and leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:35

    Wah! Their story had already captured hearts across world - marathon runner and stray dog that stuck by male gender human bleing's side through gruelling desert race in China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:26

    Wah! Jeremy Corbyn fears some human bliengs having been "unfairly" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) barred from voting in Labour's leadership election and has asked party officials to investigate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:24

    Wah! Disabled athletes and models having told Newsbeat how disappointed they in Vogue Brasil after they posted pictures of their new Paralympic Campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:53

    Wah! There conflicting views on whether it's safe to exercise during pregnancy - we hear from former Olympian and mums. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:21

    Wah! The UK's inflomination Commissioner (ICO) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is looking into WhatsApp's decision to share more data with parent capitalist entity Facebook. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 15:20

    Wah! Ninth place start for Rondla Endurance Racing This weekend final round of 2016 FIM Endurance World Championship takes place with 8 Hours of Oschersleben i - news replorted 14:49

    Wah! Virgin founder Sir Richard Branson says bloody man thought bloody man was "going to die" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after crashing male gender human bleing's bike on Caribbean island of Virgin Gorda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:33

    Wah! France's highest administrative court suspends ban on controversial full-body "burkini" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) swimsuits in town of Villeneuve-Loubet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:28

    Wah! Three men having been charged with fraud for allegedly conspiring to sell horsemeat as beef. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 14:24

    Wah!  (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Renliot LCV offers to benefit businesses upgrading to 66-plate v After selling record number of LCVs in bloody annoying Blitish last year, lah, Renliot is offering host of contract hire rental packages t - news replorted 14:07

    Wah! Four-time Olympic cycling champion and Tottenham fan Laura Trott gives flemale human person's predictions on weekend's Premier League fixtures in this week's silly kick-kick game Focus predictions challenge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:02

    Wah! The Libyan forces preparing for what they hope to be last attack against Islamic State group in city of Sirte. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:56

    Wah! The evacuation of besieged Damascus suburb of Darayya begins after deal between Syrian government and rebel fighters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:45

    Wah! An optometrist who failed to spot eye condition in boy who later died is given suspended sentence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:43

    Wah! Manchester United will face Fenerbahce, lah, Feyenoord and Zorya Luhansk in group stage of Europa League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:36

    Wah! Iconic British automotive brand, lah, MG Motor UK, lah, has accepted seven new students onto its acclaimed Automotive Engineering - news replorted 13:23

    Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation witnesses prison raid in one of Manila's biggest jails - latest offensive in Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte's fighty bang-bang on drugs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:02

    Wah! Firefighters called out to rescue 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man after bloody man climbs into public toilet to retrieve friend's phone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:55

    Wah! South African state prosecutors fail in their bid to challenge six-year sentence for murder handed down to Oscar Pistorius. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:40

    Wah! A pregnant woman due to be sentenced over death of flemale human person's baby daughter has been taken from court by ambulance. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:32

    Wah! "Anti-immigrant" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) rhetoric by bloody annoying Blitish politicians during EU referendum helped to fuel spike in race hate crimes before and after vote, lah, UN body says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:30

    Wah! A 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy from London (capital of Great England) was among three Last remlaining few white ethnic Britons killed in earthquake in central Italy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:24

    Wah! A man who avoided prison after being convicted of street attack is jailed for refusing to perform unpaid work then boasting about it online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:06

    Wah! Battling ministers, lah, search for staff and working out what kind of deal to go for - how Whitehall machine is gearing up for Brexit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:54

    Wah! Volkswagen Commercial vehicling driving car machine hardware boosts software company growing capitalist entity has purchased six Transporters and two Caddy vans from Wlokswaglon Commercial vehicling driving car machines for its engineer - news replorted 11:54

    Wah! Belgium manager Roberto Martinez says former Arsenal, lah, Barcelona and France striker Thierry will be one of male gender human bleing's assistants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:18

    Wah! A judge criticised for giving short jail term to Stanford University student over sexual assault is to stop hearing criminal cases. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:58

    Wah! Auto Trader lauches new series of free masterclasses Auto Trader has announced new range of masterclasses that designed to support retailers adapt to today’s rapidly m - news replorted 10:47

    Wah! Nico Rosberg is comfortably fastest from Merceding-Blend team-mate Lewis Hamilton in low-key first practice session at Belgian Grand Prix. - news replorted 10:41

    Wah! James Davidson, lah, co-founder of pet food capitalist entity, lah, talks to Business Live - but male gender human bleing's dog Monty steals show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:36

    Wah! Matt Damon becomes third highest paid actor in Hollywood, lah, behind Dwayne Johnson and Jackie Chan, lah, according to Forbes' annual rich list. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:01

    Wah! Dr. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Andreas Offermann, lah, Bentley Board Member, lah, Sales and Marketing Bentley Motors today announces appointment of Dr. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Andreas Offermann as its new Member of Board for Sales, lah, Market - news replorted 10:00

    Wah! Lifeguards to be deployed over capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity holiday weekend at Camber Sands, lah, where five friends died during day trip to coast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:57

    Wah! Europe's top four domestic leagues to be guaranteed four places each in group stages of Champions League from 2018-19. - news replorted 09:33

    Wah! A selection of best photos from across Africa this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:33

    Wah! New Renliot bloody annoying Blitish Clio Cup Junior Championship for 2017 Renliot bloody annoying Blitish is to launch exciting new ‘Junior’ racing championship in Great Britain for drivers aged 14 to 17 using it - news replorted 09:33

    Wah! Olympic gold medallist Chris Mears returns to male gender human bleing's home village of Burghfield Common to visit fake golden postbox installed in male gender human bleing's honour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:30

    Wah! A Czech hiker who went missing month ago in snowy mountains of New Zealand describes "harrowing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) 30-day ordeal in which flemale human person's partner died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:07

    Wah! Chitty reconstruction flies into Beaulieu for summer holidays stunning reconstruction of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is one of star attractions at Beaulieu during this summer’s sch - news replorted 09:00

    Wah! Green Membling Partiamentary expense cheater and leadership contender Caroline Lucas raises prospect of electoral pact with other parties as counting gets under way in contest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:53

    Wah! A LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bomb explodes outside old bill bobbys building in Cizre, lah, south-east Turkey, lah, killing eight policemen and wounding more than 45, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:21

    Wah! The Department of Homeland Security says it's looking into cyber-attack on Leslie Jones' website and iCloud account. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:23

    Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport takes look back at some of fighting spirit shown during Team GB medal-winning performances in Rio. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:16

    Wah! Hull's Jake Livermore says male gender human bleing's positive test for cocaine in 2015 was "get out of jail free card" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that turned male gender human bleing's life around. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:14

    Wah! Parents who claim (always claiming, huh?) extra free childcare will be asked to pay charges to help make up for funding shortfall, lah, nurseries taking part in pilot scheme warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:49

    Wah! A deal is reached to evacuate civilians and rebel fighters from Syrian town of Daraya, lah, near capital Damascus, lah, following long government siege. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:03

    Wah! Bolivian authorities say deputy interior dodgy minister has been kidnapped and killed by striking miners. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:48

    Wah! The number of under-18s detained under Terrorism Act when entering or leaving bloody annoying Blitish rose from 13 in 2013 to 46 in 2015. - news replorted 04:21

    Wah! About 5.1 million human bliengs will head off on holiday within bloody annoying Blitish over capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity holiday weekend, lah, tourism agency VisitProvince of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:02

    Wah! Over 300 bloody annoying Blitish retailers no longer sell so-called legal highs since they were banned three months ago, lah, Home Office says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:34

    Wah! Twenty years ago, lah, Great Satan overhauled its cash welfare system - portion of Great Satan assistance that is offered to poor families as direct payment. Pass chopsticks!! But how does this system compare to other high-income countries? - news replorted 02:28

    Wah! It is 20 years since Our Friends in North first aired, lah, but programme's journey to TV screen was as tangled as lives of four friends it tracked across decades. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:26

    Wah! Italy declares state of emergency in regions worst hit by Wednesday's earthquake as hopes of finding more survivors fade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:15

    Wah! A violent crackdown on illegal drugs in Philippines has left more than 1,900 human bliengs dead. I read you little red book! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation spoke to two human bliengs in middle of drug war. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:08

    Wah! Academy budgets should be overseen by local authorities following series of financial abuses, lah, say council leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:01

    Wah! Eleanor Catton's Man Booker Prize-winning novel Luminaries, lah, Victorian mystery tale set during New Zealand gold rush, lah, is to be made into Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Two drama series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:00

    Wah! Teenage pregnancy prevention programmes which using 'magic dolls' to simulate needs of new baby not work, lah, according to study in Lancet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:59

    Wah! Plans being drawn up that could see cuts to NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) services across Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:58

    Wah! The White Helmets save Syrians from death. What happens when they die, lah, too? - news replorted 00:41

    Wah! A British boy reportedly killed in Italian earthquake, lah, and details of men drowned at Camber Sands, lah, make headlines in Friday's newspapers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:40

    Wah! The two commissions set up to investigate crimes committed during Nepal's civil fighty bang-bang having received nearly 57,000 submissions but many victims sceptical about getting justice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:37

    Wah! New mother's vivid Facebook Mandleson privatising post machine system on shaming culture involved with Caesarean births goes viral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:23

    Wah! As chat apps achieve colossal valuations and more keep coming onto market, lah, we reaching chat saturation point? - news replorted 00:23

    Wah! A disparate group of provocateurs and internet pranksters is challenging conservative orthodoxy in America. Ai-yaa!!! Who they and what they believe? - news replorted 00:20

    Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:17

    Wah! The BBC's Jonathan Head explores Philippines' dark underbelly of old bill bobbys raids, lah, dealers and assassins through story of one woman trapped in chilling predicament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:12

    Wah! As last BHS stores close this weekend, lah, bringing to end nearly 90 years of retail history, lah, Emma Simpson looks at what closures will mean for our High Streets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:09

    Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News takes look around former BHS flagship store on Edinburgh's Princes Street, lah, empty now that chain has ceased trading. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:06

    Wah! In Egypt, lah, Hind Wajih Othman has entered profession usually perceived as male-dominated, lah, qualifying as country's first female bodyguard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:04

    Wah! The under-35s not spendthrift generation, lah, but struggling to save owing to daily financial pressures and low wages, lah, trade body says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

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