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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Manchester
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Customer Letter: 1508 / 1527
Oliver says...
 Thanks for all your help and in getting me a great deal on the Golf. Although there was a delay on the manufacturer side, Ling kept me up to date all the way. Great service, love the car (and the banter with Ling's staff!). Many thanks. Dealer Service – Good – Delayed delivery, but overall good service.

Oliver Woodcock
2 Linden Avenue
M34 5NR

Editor Note: Yes, Ol, the delays were all down to VW being very slow at building the cars. There is always great demand for Golfs, and you had a top of range one which is even harder to get. Hope it's lovely. Original and best :) Thanks for letter! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1503 / 1527
Neil says...
AUDI A5 COUPEEfficient. Friendly. Different. Would recommend a friend. Thank you all for your help – much appreciated – I think the above “sound bite” sums up your operation. Best wishes for the future. Good supplying dealer.

Neil Sutcliffe
Neil Ross Sutcliffe & Co
Sixth Floor, Ship Canal House
King Street
M2 4WU

Editor Note: Cool! You are coasting along the Manchester canalside in your Milano leather A5 Coupe. No wonder you are happy, eh? As a solicitor, well done Neil, for writing this letter without charging me £70 for it, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1458 / 1527
Fraser says...
 Ling, the service from start to finish was very professional – if I had a query it was dealt with quickly and with no fuss. You managed to get me a car (Mercedes CLC) that no other garage could at the time – would use again and when my car is up for renewal will only use Ling. Dealer was good but there were some scuffs on the car that they did not follow up.

Fraser M***
Address Withheld
M45 ***

Editor Note: Fraser, hey, hey, getting impossible cars is part of a trick I do, but not very often. The CLC was rare at the time, no stock. I found a cancelled car. Glad you love it. Once again, you say my service is good, but I am criticised by Mercedes Benz for selling their cars. Yet, as ever, my service is better than the official dealer. Thanks for comments, appreciated. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1405 / 1527
Andrew says...
 Dealing with Ling was always a pleasure. I always knew exactly where in the process the deal was. The prices were very good, the website very informative and all communications very efficient and clear. The only disappointing aspect of LINGsCARS was the free lunch. Very professional delivery service, excellent!

Andrew Watson
132 Roseneath Road

Editor Note: Hahahaha! Hope you did not get too poisoned by the FUKU noodles and dried plum pudding. Always causes big adventures on the toilet :) Maybe I should supply free loo roll, too? Apart from that rubbish, you seem VERY happy with your new Qashqai plus 2, Andy, and it was lovely to deal with you. Thanks for joining in the fun! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1388 / 1527
Denise says...
PEUGEOT 308 SWLing, I really like your website it was as easy or technical as I needed it to be. I have genuinely recommended you to loads of people. Very good service from you and that's as far as I go 'cos I don't do gushy, or for people to think you wrote this yourself. Thank you. Good delivery but slight delay in handbook arriving.

Denise Ridgard
56 Hazel Street
M34 5WA

Editor Note: Hahahaha, well, this is gushy enough. I did not delay the car to wait for a book, I think you can figure out which buttons to press to make it work. Thanks so much for non-gushy letter. I believe you are not me. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1352 / 1527
Brian says...
FORD MONDEO ESTATEFor a while, I wondered whether we had done the right thing - entering into a business relationship with this lunatic Chinese lady. But she knows what she is doing - she's doing good business, and she's doing it with humour! The whole process of arranging the lease went through without a hitch, and the new Mondeo Estate didn't have a speck of dust on it when it arrived. So, we're delighted with the car, and with Ling. When we increase our fleet by another ten or twelve vehicle, I don't think we will be looking anywhere else - Wah!!

Brian Mott
Met Engineering Ltd
Unit 3
Mode Wheel Road
M5 5DQ

Editor Note: Wah!!! indeed :) Hahahahaha. I do my best, and with following wind (after eating noodles) I manage to do a good job. Thanks for kind letter Brian. It is worth to have fun, because cars are fun... until they get banned. Glad you were so happy and I look forward to those next 10 cars, hahahaha. Maybe you should wait until the crunch is over? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1319 / 1527
Robert says...
CITROEN C1There are no bad things to say about LINGsCARS. Great people. Great service. Excellent comms. Only took 39 working days from start to getting my Citroen C1 delivered to us. Well done all at Ling's. I am telling all my friends about you. ps- nice Chinese sweets too :-) Good delivery, on time, friendly.

Robert Tonson
1 Carden Ave
M41 8TE

Editor Note: Wahhhhhhh! Never mind the car... Another mentalist customer who LIKES the sweets! And I spend so long to find especially awful Chinese sweets to send out, from Hawthorn to Sweetcorn to Durian and Prune (not even Chinese like them, hahaha!). Last year I even managed to find some Chinese white rabbit ones containing that melamine-infected Chinese milk. They make you fart like hell! However, I like your letter, thanks for all the comments, Bob :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1285 / 1527
Graham says...
 Hi Ling, the new C-Crosser arrived promptly and clean, without problem. The whole process was pretty painless and straightforward; certainly the most pleasurable car buying/leasing experience I've had. I'll be back in 2-years and have recommended you to numerous friends and colleagues. Good delivery, clean car, although driver's seat was dirty.

As I've previously mentioned, you have reached "hero" status with my kids - they were forming a queue to open your letters because of the sweets!! Thanks again for making it an enjoyable experience, I appreciate the humour!

Graham Hitch
Address Withheld
M3 ***

Editor Note: Hmmm, maybe the delivery driver had a dirty ass? Whatever, sorry about that. But the rest of the car supply went really well. As you are in quite a sensitive job, I withhold your address and job info and changed your name - it is amazing to deal with such people as you. All I can say is that I am very glad I am on your side and not against you!! Thanks for letter, I would never expose a customer to danger. Kids are mental, the sweets are verging on the poisonous, hehe. Go and enjoy the new Citroen, great cars, these! - Ling

Customer Letter: 963 / 1527
Simon says...
CarLing, my new Lexus IS is FAB! The same can be said for your company, always helpful even when I was impatient and when I always emailed you to find out information!!! When it's time to renew my Lexus I WILL be contacting Ling!!! Excellent delivery.

Simon Duckett
153 Elliot Street
M29 8FL

Editor Note: Simon, hahahhaa, you were like a kid waiting for a new toy! :) Thanks for being so super, eveyone loves these new Lexuses. Thanks for calling me FAB, Virgil. Speak in 3-years. I give your business, which is "the only commissioning company required for all your air and water balancing, planned preventative maintenance and independent validation checks", a hyperlink as reward. Whatever it is that you do, it sounds good :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 798 / 1527
Oliver says...
CarThanks for a great service Ling (and the sweets)! Whenever I emailed with a question you replied very quickly - are you sure you don't have two Lings there? The whole experience felt very professional, thanks! Excellent delivery of my Zafira, friendly and informative.

Oliver Woodcock
Tonic Creative Communications Ltd
2 Linden Avenue
M34 5NR

Editor Note: Oliver, well, check my webcams. I have a few people to help me with my volume these days, by the replies to your emails were all from me. I insist I stay customer-facing. I give your agency a hyperlink. You have a great website! Enjoy the Zafira! - Ling

Customer Letter: 596 / 1527
Pauline says...
CarMy SAAB 9-5 Estate is here, it arrived at 10am!! I just want you to know that you have made this process sooooooo easy and pain free for me as I am a personal contract hire virgin!! You are an absolute pleasure to deal with. Your website is fantastically informative and easy to use and you will be the only person I will be contacting when it is time for the next car.

Pauline Heron
42 Ashbourne Road
M30 0HW

Editor Note: Pauline, there was a couple of small things on delivery; one remote key does not work remotely, and there was a small paint blemish on the car. These can be fixed. Apart from that, I am pleased you are so happy! How pleasant to lose your virginity in a SAAB 9-5 Estate, so much room to enjoy :)) - Ling

Customer Letter: 516 / 1527
Martin says...
MAZDA MX-5"Ling was very patient with me; I wished I had listened to Ling earlier as her deals are really good and more importantly - exactly as described! I got the car I wanted at a great price and will recommend Ling to friends and business contacts.

Ling does CARE about what happens - what more could you ask for? Delivery was excellent, very good, rang to check everything was OK on the delivery day."

Martin Dangerfield
McKinley Resource
57 Green Keys
Manchester Science Park
M15 6JJ

Editor Note: Martin, Martin... we began to talk in October 2006 about cars, but it took us a while to get it together, eh??? :) At last you have the bargain of the year - a new MX-5 and with summer nearly here you can get the top down. Enjoy the bloody Mazda! - Ling

Customer Letter: 389 / 1527
Donna says...
 " is an excellent service and I would definitely recommend Ling to everyone I know. Ling was very professional and friendly when dealing with my requests. I was very pleased with the excellent dealer service. Thanks for my new Toyota Corolla Verso, it's lovely!"

Donna Hayton
7 Shirebrook Drive
M26 2TJ

Editor Note: Donna, Donna, absolutely lovely to deal with you, too. Luckily my Toyota dealer is very well house-trained. Enjoy 7-seat Verso - Ling

Customer Letter: 358 / 1527
Bob says...
 "This is the first time I have had a car from Ling. She gave me a deal on the Toyota Avensis I was looking for. I tried many other leasing companies, including Toyota itself! Ling had the best deal.

Ling was great to do business with - regular communication - the car arrived on the morning she promised. The dealer she chose was excellent. Only had the car for a day - so far so good!"

Bob Gardner
City Jewellers
Beaufort Avenue
M33 3WH

Editor Note: Bob, you know... there is just one person to thank for my low prices: Micheal O'Leary of Ryanair. It is simply because I chose him as the example to follow in operating with the lowest costs in the industry that I am able to supply cars at the lowest prices. Other companies have flashier offices, loads of staff (who do nothing except mess up, go sick, get pregnant and don't return calls), they spend large amounts on their own company cars, advertising, leather chairs and all that bollocks, and so cannot come anywhere near my tiny overheads. I still give the best service, I don't cut back on communication - that's free! So, thanks Michael (O'Leary), and thanks, Bob! - Ling

Customer Letter: 159 / 1527
Jay says...
This website is fantastic - what a welcome change from the other dull or pushy sales car leasing sites out there - don't change it one bit and I am sure you will have loads of customers. I will definitely be coming back when I am ready to purchase.

Jay Roche
Canada House
Chepstow Street
M1 5FW

Editor Note: I thought I'd nip to your website, Jay and I must say I like the customer success stories. Maybe some of my crazier customers will allow me to develop small story around their car savings. Hmmm. I change website constantly, every day. It grows, organic, like fungus... - Ling

Customer Letter: 104 / 1527
Johan says...
CarCarWe have dealt with Ling of over the past few years, and we have always had excellent service. We would recommend to anybody.

Johan Mullen
Lion Motor Bodies
80A Barton Rd
Barton on Irwell
M30 7AE

Editor Note: If only everybody would read this page, maybe everybody would order car from me, Johan - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  Baleno voted Irish Small LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year 2017 Suzluko is bloody velly well known as ‘Small LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Experts’ and is please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce that it has just won Small LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine categ - news replorted 18:02

Wah! LATEST:  The former Lib Dem leader is to shadow both cabinet dodgy ministers dealing with Brexit, lah, as party reshuffles its frontbench team. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 17:55

Wah! The death of former Vladimir Putin adviser in Washington DC hotel was "accident", lah, Great Satan officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:49

Wah! Elvis Presley breaks record for most number one albums by solo artist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 17:45

Wah! Lewis Hamilton beats title rival and championship leader Nico Rosberg in first practice at Mexican Grand Prix. - news replorted 17:45

Wah! Sweden refuses to suspend warrant for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange so bloody man can attend funeral. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:40

Wah! A man is arrested on suspicion of supergluing shut locks of 64 front doors and garages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:30

Wah! Ex-British Cycling technical director Shane Sutton used sexist language towards rider Jess Varnish, lah, investigation by governing body has found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:27

Wah! All-new Wlokswaglon Tiguan As clocks go back and tough winter weather approaches Wlokswaglon is turning up heat in SUV sector with l - news replorted 17:18

Wah! Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins sign up for their first show since quitting Great British Bake Off - Let's Sing and Dance for Comic Relief. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 16:26

Wah! Road safety charity Brake will launch campaign on Monday 21 Novemblinger and call on all road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu users to make Brake Pl - news replorted 16:24

Wah! Suzuki Releases Andy Torbet’s ‘In Search of Adventure’ Suzluko has released first episode of new three-part series, lah, which sees former military man-turned-famed adventurer - news replorted 15:36

Wah! Joe Biden is tipped for secretary of state job if Hillary Clinton becomes president - Great Satan media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:25

Wah! Legendary Ducato celebrates its 35th Birthday SOLD in more than 80 countries worldwide and with incredible 10,000 variants, lah, legendary Fliat Ducato is celebratin - news replorted 15:19

Wah! Agnieszka Radwanska will play world number one Angelique Kerber in WTA Finals last four after beating Karolina Pliskova 7-5 6-3. - news replorted 15:06

Wah! Dramatic images of operation to clear Calais 'Jungle' camp, lah, which saw nearly 6,000 migrants evacuated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:58

Wah! False teeth and bad back emojis, lah, brainchild of frustrated grandmother, lah, could soon be in using after being sent off for official approval. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 14:55

Wah! Supermarket Morrisons raises cost of jar of Marmite by 12.5%, lah, say retail industry experts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:40

Wah! A selection of best photos from across Africa this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 14:37

Wah! bloody annoying Blitish employment tribunal rules that Uber drivers entitled to holiday pay and National Living Wage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:35

Wah! An alleged serial killer last saw one of men bloody man is accused of murdering at "sex and drugs party", lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:30

Wah! McLaren F1 waiting like hell is over, lah, Greatest Supercar Ever has been revealed at Classic & Sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! And that LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine is McL - news replorted 14:09

Wah! Hundreds of firefighters battling blaze which has ripped through buildings in Exeter, lah, including "oldest hotel in Province of Engrish running-dogs". - news replorted 13:41

Wah! Fleet Management LIVE Logo second Fleet Management Live attracted 16% more visitors to NEC, lah, Birmingham with number of new exhibitors, lah, fea - news replorted 13:36

Wah! A large fire has taken hold at buildings on Exeter's Cathedral Green. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:29

Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep internationals Sam Warburton, lah, Dan Lydiate, lah, Samson Lee and Hallam Amos sign extensions to their national dual contracts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:06

Wah! Over 22,200 Floord hot hatches sold in first three quarters if 2016 Hot hatches – sporty small cars with powerful engines – were once preserve of “petrol head” LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine fans, lah, but fast b - news replorted 13:02

Wah! Apple increases prices of its laptop and desktop computers by hundreds of pounds in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:01

Wah! A man who went to love interest's home armed with two homemade bombs and knife is jailed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:56

Wah! More than third of British adults not getting enough sleep, lah, according to survey by insurlince capitalist entity Aviva. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:47

Wah! Mercedes-Benz World celebrates decade of amazing experiences Mercedes-Benz World in Surrey is celebrating its 10th anniversary this weekend. I read you little red book! Since innovative brand centre opened - news replorted 12:38

Wah! Jeep Renegade Dawn of Justice Special Edition Jeepy Renegade’s successful partnership with Warner Bros. Eating rice!! Pictures and this year’s blockbuster movie: Batman v Superman: - news replorted 12:19

Wah! Madonna, lah, Mert & Marcus Last night in partnership with Maserati, lah, Mert & Marcus opened their first solo exhibition in Europe: Mert & Marcus: Work - news replorted 11:58

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs trail by 170 runs at 50-3 after first day of second Test, lah, having taken final nine Bangladesh wickets for 49. - news replorted 11:50

Wah! The deaths of two children after "suspicious" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) house fire being investigated by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:45

Wah! Dr Ellie Aston, lah, who was harassed by former patient for seven years, lah, has told Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation how bloody woman is "wreck" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when flemale human person's stalker is out of prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:38

Wah! A couple driving home after buying new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine had to pull over on motorway after finding 5ft-long snake inside. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:38

Wah! Porsche 911 Carrera 3.2 Leading London, bloody dealering idiot place Hexagon is appearing at Classic & Sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Show this weekend with stand dedicated to some - news replorted 11:38

Wah! A landmark legal challenge against Brexit is rejected at High Court in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:35

Wah! WEC Fuji 2016 For Audi, lah, important race is coming up before its imminent withdrawal from FIA World Endurance Championship (WEC). - news replorted 11:34

Wah! As figures show sharp fall in fines for using mobile phones while driving, lah, RAC warns motorists "no longer fearing punishment". - news replorted 11:29

Wah! Bonhams London (capital of Great England) to Brighton Veteran LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Run As dawn breaks on Sunday, lah, 6th November, lah, London’s Hyde Park will be full of sights, lah, sounds and smells of past. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:17

Wah! Sixty years after Israeli invasion of Egypt during Suez Crisis, lah, Jennifer Boyle recalls flemale human person's experience as young secretary at British Embassy in Cairo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:56

Wah! Don’t be ‘in dark’ on roads As British Summer clock time result comes to end this Sunday, lah, IAM RoadSmart brings you tellibly lovely custlingmer some tips to make your as really velly special customer's journey as safe as p - news replorted 10:56

Wah! Dayinsure Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Rally GB Autograph session 1 Dayinsure Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Rally GB roared spectacularly into life with show-stopping Ceremonial Start at Parc Eirias in Colwyn B - news replorted 10:54

Wah! Fiskens wows crowds as it opens stunning new mews showroom Fiskens, lah, one of world’s leading specialists in fine historic automobiles, lah, has celebrated its 25th anniversary year i - news replorted 10:48

Wah! Fundraiser launched for those who helped hide NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Sébastien Ogier and Julien Ingrassia Wlokswaglon is well prepared ahead of start of Rally Great Britain in Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Syrian rebels announce offensive aimed at breaking government siege in country's second city Aleppo. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:31

Wah! The Wlokswaglon Atlas – all-new seven-seater SUV for America World premiere of Wlokswaglon Atlas in California, lah, WAH! new seven-seater SUV for Great Satan market was unveiled last night - news replorted 10:23

Wah! Q3 results Superb ŠKODA continues on course to success: brand continues to grow profitably. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:02

Wah! SEAT Ateca SEAT’s financial results keep progressing. No spitting in damn website!!! In first nine months of 2016, lah, brand achieved operating profit of 1 - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Manager Tony Pulis signs one-year contract extension at West Brom, lah, to extend male gender human bleing's stay at Hawthorns to 2018. - news replorted 09:44

Wah! A mother has been told bloody woman needs planning permission for flemale human person's daughter's wendy house - because it is so tall. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:42

Wah! British Cycling officials will face Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters to explain using of therapeutic using exemptions, lah, including those of Sir Bradley Wiggins. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:29

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish should keep "options open" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) over Brexit, lah, Tony "trust me" Blair says, lah, including possible second referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:28

Wah! Urgent repairs to be carried on Britain's most famous clock tower at cost of RMB Yuan #29m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:12

Wah! Callum Bradshaw - winner On Wednesday 26 Octoblinger best of British young motorsport talent gathered at iconic Buckmore Park karting circuit - news replorted 09:03

Wah! Barry Shorto of cap hpi HPI CrushWatch initiative reunites finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan companies with valuable assets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:00

Wah! old bill bobbys hunting man over attempted murder of two officers in hit-and-run having released image of suspect. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:16

Wah! Celtic captain Scott "Dear Leader" Brown is likely to reverse male gender human bleing's decision to quit international silly kick-kick game in clock time result to play against Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:53

Wah! Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land reports RMB Yuan #469m loss for July damn hot-hot month to September amid continuing "legacy issues". - news replorted 07:38

Wah! A Japanese rail capitalist entity causes anger by telling commuters that doing make-up on train is "ugly to see". - news replorted 07:16

Wah! Meet ex-Royal Marine who was shot by Taliban sniper and is now one of officials for funny shape ball-game league's biggest tournament of 2016. - news replorted 06:35

Wah! Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte says bloody man will clean up male gender human bleing's language after God gave him ultimatum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 05:53

Wah! There was "no cheque paper money susbtituting thing book" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) offer to Nissling ahead of its move to boost bloody annoying Blitish production, lah, says government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:25

Wah! Nato is not seeking confrontation with Russia despite deploying 4,000 troops to eastern Europe, lah, alliance's chief tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 04:59

Wah! With just 11 days to go until election day, lah, Donald Trump's sheets come under scrutiny, lah, Hillary Clinton and Michelle "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama having love-in and Gary Johnson denies being dummy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:30

Wah! The child sex abuse inquiry dropped investigation of its most senior lawyer despite disclosure of alleged sexual assault. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:49

Wah! After long campaign, lah, it's less than two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) before millions of Americans cast their votes. Eating rice!! But turnout could be as low as 50%. Why so few human bliengs vote? - news replorted 02:37

Wah! The defendants in standoff at federal wildlife refuge in Oregon acquitted of felony conspiracy charges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:35

Wah! About 70 migrants remaining at Calais 'Jungle' camp allowed to sleep at site, lah, as work continues to dismantle it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:03

Wah! Gretchen and Tom engaged. I read you little red book! But she's voting for Clinton and he's voting for Trump. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 01:58

Wah! A rise in hate crime (shoud shoot them) against UK's Polish community is making some of them think about leaving country as result. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:56

Wah! With many governments looking to move away from burning fossil fuels how close is world to generating all its electricity from renewable energy? - news replorted 01:51

Wah! Rare 19th century photographs of Shanghai by bloody Engrish photographer William Saunders go on show in London (capital of Great England) in first public exhibition devoted to male gender human bleing's work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:45

Wah! Republican vice-presidential candidate Mike Pence's plane slids off runway on landing in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:40

Wah! Photographer Abid Bhat rice-paper officialing doumentlation story of 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Insha Mushtaq, lah, who lost vision in both flemale human person's eyes after being hit by pellets in Indian-administered Kashmir. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:39

Wah! John Sudworth investigates role of state in China's family policy year on from end of one-child rule. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:23

Wah! A hormone injection has been shown to be safe and effective method of contraception - for men. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:22

Wah! One year on from relaxation of China's one child policy, lah, what impact has it had? - news replorted 01:21

Wah! Russia's high-speed trains having revolutionised rail travel - but life by tracks has much less glamour, lah, Seva Boiko reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08

Wah! Miniature cooking craze sweeps internet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:05

Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04

Wah! It would be unacceptable today - but times were bloody velly different. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:01

Wah! Up to fifth of new cars in bloody annoying Blitish not sold direct to consumers, lah, or used as fleet, lah, but instead pre-registered to dealers, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:58

Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation finds young human bliengs still living among fires in Calais migrant camp known as 'Jungle'. - news replorted 00:55

Wah! After years of international negotiations, lah, Ross Sea in Antarctica will become world's largest marine protected area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:40

Wah! Some Polish human bliengs say they no longer feel welcome in Britain after Brexit and may leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:11

Wah! False teeth and bad back emojis, lah, brainchild of frustrated grandmother, lah, could soon be in using after being sent off for official approval. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:08

Wah! Can Brazil's "oil capital", lah, Macae, lah, bounce back after Petrobras scandal? - news replorted 00:07

Wah! Uber drivers in London (capital of Great England) will learn later whether they entitled to basic employment rights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:05

Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) is set to miss target of RMB Yuan #500m-a-year in payments from overseas patients treated in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:04

Wah! Nissan boosting production at its Sunderland plant and hospital debt collectors targeting overseas patients make Friday's front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02

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