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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1449 / 1528
David says...
CITROEN C4 GRAND PICASSOThanks again Ling, got there in the end even with the chopping and changing. See you in two years. Good delivery of my C4 Grand Picasso, arrived on time.

David Stoddart
Black Ink
7a Talbot Court
The Square, Stow On The World
GL54 1BQ

Editor Note: Yes, the car was changed a few times, but you are a good solid repeat customer. Lovely to have you back! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1396 / 1528
Christine says...
NISSAN QASHQAII found dealing with Ling and co fun! Service was first class. Any query I had was answered very quickly. The whole thing took 1 month from enquiry to receiving Qashqai. Car is fantastic. Would definitely recommend Ling!

Excellent delivery, delivery driver was very friendly and helpful.

Christine Martin
6 Howells Road
GL20 5PW

Editor Note: Chrris, I am pleased you are happy with the super letter response. Hope the Qashqai makes you even happier! :) Great customer, thanks! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1364 / 1528
Marc says...
MERCEDES C-CLASS SALOONWOW! If only life went as smoothly as LINGsCARS... absolutely first class from the minute I chose my New Mercedes C-Class Saloon to the date it got delivered. Well done Ling, great site, fantastic people and a great sense of humour, that always made me laugh! Excellent delivery by the Mercedes dealer.

Marc Dodd
Ashley Associates UK Limited
29 The Steadings Business Centre

Editor Note: Marc... what can I say??? You were happy chappy, eh? I will take small opportunity to kick Mercedes Benz UK, who make my life a misery (despite feeding them very happy customers). They really need to stop persecuting me - they threaten me with court even for using the word "Mercedes" - how crazzzzy! Hopefully, Marc will help to show them what a mistake they are making! Enjoy your Merc, Marc! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1307 / 1528
George says...
CITROEN C5 TOURERThis is the second time I have used Ling and it will not be my last. I found her level of service excellent and nothing was too much trouble for her. Mail updates were received on a daily basis regarding delivery dates and any problems that might crop up. Excellent delivery, by very polite delivery man who talked me through the car. Thanks Ling

PS- Don't eat the corn on the cob sweets, they must be an acquired taste. C5 very good.

George Simpson
1 Abbey Meadow
GL20 5FF

Editor Note: So funny, another customer poisoned by the sweets. I should buy shares in toilet roll, hahaha! You are a repeating customer George, so lovely to deal with you again. C5 is a great car, I have not had one complaint, everyone loves them. Go drive! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1230 / 1528
Robert says...
 Great car at a fantastic price! I had problems which were out of your control but could have done with an alternative from you during the long wait. However, your communication was excellent and I look forward to doing business with you in 2-years. Poor delivery. A complete "couldn't care less" attitude.

Robert Palmer
8 Billbrook Road

Editor Note: Bob, you had a nightmare. To cap it all Daimler Finance overcharged you £623.40, which I got refunded to you by CHAPS, pronto. To start with, Daimler finance messed us around on the car and we both thought it was a lost cause at one stage, but you got the car in the end (despite the fact at one stage we both thought we should commit suicide, it was so difficult). You were great the way you trusted me. The delivery is just the icing on the cake by the industry fools. Amazing a Merc dealer can be so bad! All in all, you are a star customer and as we were both on the same side in all this, I am happy to report you are 100% happy with you lovely new SLK. Re the "alternative", there is simply no money for this, at my end, my margin is thin. However, you deserved one. But there is more chance of Elvis turning up than the finance company fronting a courtesy car. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1121 / 1528
Catherine says...
NISSAN QASHQAII'm loving my Nissan Qashqai Ling - but that I could get anywhere. What is in short supply nowadays is good customer service and you provide that by the bucket load. Your efficient, humorous service is rare but oh so welcome and you made the whole process of leasing a car totally stress free. You certainly have the X Factor Ling - X-cellent, X-ceptional and X-traordinarily crazy!

Great delivery, car arrived when they said it would in perfect condition by a friendly driver.

Catherine Johnston
Imperial Marketing
12 Popes Meade

Editor Note: I'm X-tremely pleased with your letter, Catherine! You have a dead cheap Nissan Qashqai, and you were very nice to deal with, you made me laugh! Talk in a few years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1072 / 1528
Natalie says...
CHEVROLET CAPTIVAThe service provided by Ling and her team was excellent, to the point with no sales patter. The Captiva was delivered when promised. I was so impressed I have recommended Ling to friends and colleagues. Good delivery, with no issues.

Natalie Kear
Address withheld
GL16 ***

Editor Note: Natalie, you are Head of Planning Supply at a major drugs company. I have withheld your address for security. So I know how much your comments mean. Thanks so much for the comments, so lovely to deal with you. Thanks for being such a lovely customer. Have fun in the Chevvy Captiva! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1015 / 1528
Jonathan says...
CarThis was the most simple, best, effective and straightforward way of controlling, monitoring and taking delivery if a new car. Right products, right price and excellent customer service made this perhaps the best buying experience I have had and I will not hesitate recommend you to others. I wish you all the very best. Excellent delivery, polite, on time and friendly.

Jonathan Holdsworth
Ferney Cottage
GL11 5AB

Editor Note: Great, that is just what I like to hear. So pleased I train customers like you to write letters like this :) You were a super customer. As you are a company director, I really appreciate your comments! I will see you in 3 years for a new Megane, Jonathan! - Ling

Customer Letter: 893 / 1528
Mark says...
CarI have just had my second car from Ling (an Audi A6 Avant), and again the service was excellent. She got me the colour I specified and was cheaper, yet again, than anyone else. I will use her again and recommend her to friends. Excellent delivery, the dealer was good and delivered the car on time, and to my front door.

Mark Dangerfield
Cowswell Lane

Editor Note: Mark, you are my only Astronaut customer, and I am so proud to be associated with the British Space Programme. As you own the Stroud Space Centre (I guess you have a rocket launching pad), I will allow you to borrow my own nuclear rocket FOC whenever you want :). Hope you enjoy the Audi A6 Estate. - Ling

Customer Letter: 818 / 1528
Paul says...
CarIf only all companies were as committed as LingsCars. After ordering my Citroen C4 Cool, Ling found that they had stopped production of that model. These things happen. However she managed to find me one of the last ones in the country and in my choice of colour too. Top marks to the dealer too, the car turned up as promised in time for me to take it to work. I'll be back in two years!!

Paul Ravening
Address withheld
GL2 ***

Editor Note: Paul, I do my best! Glad that in this case I found you a car. I also think this dealer is one of the very best I use, despite being "only" a Citroen dealer, rather than Audi or BMW. Thanks for the letter :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 786 / 1528
Thomas says...
CarGreat lady - wonderfully nuts but sharp and a pleasure to do business with. A smooth and hassle free way to contract hire a new Nissan Qashqai. Good delivery - car mats would have been nice.

Thomas Melliar-Smith
4 Bays Court
GL14 1QX

Editor Note: Thomas, I have 500 car mats on order - special design. Half the time, the dealers do not provide these and they are important because I know you want to keep your car in top condition, for the return in 2 years. I will forward a set. Every car will get free mates soon - when my big order arrives. But it takes time to get these made. So pleased you are happy. - Ling

Customer Letter: 772 / 1528
Nick says...
CarA quick and efficient service. Best deals around... I know, as I checked a lot of other companies websites. Keep up the good work. Car was one day late for delivery. See you in 2 years time.

Nick Culley
11 Sir Charles Irving Close
GL50 2DS

Editor Note: Nick, what a fantastic address you have. A new, posh car for a posh address. You can tell you are an estate agent :). The C-Class Mercs are bargains at the moment and the new models are great cars. Hmmm, one day late... I cannot work miracles and even Mercedes Benz get it wrong sometimes. Bloody Germans; you cannot rely on these damn foreigners, eh? :) I hope the small wait did not spoil it for you. At least you don't need to fill in a HIP for a car :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 712 / 1528
David says...
CarVery good service as usual, thanks for getting me such a good deal... excellent delivery, my Pathfinder arrived on time.
Black Ink Prints
Black Ink's Gallery in Stow on the Wold

David Stoddart
Black Ink Prints
7a Talbot Court
The Square
Stow On The World
GL54 1BQ

Editor Note: David, you have had a few cars from me, so pleased we could arrange the swap-over so perfectly. You have a lovely art shop in a lovely part of the country. See you in a couple of years :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 676 / 1528
Nicholas says...
CarI would like to thank Ling for making my first (but not last) lease hire Audi Q7 an easy and painless experience. The car was delivered on time, clean and sparkling. Shame the fuel light was on. The dealer would have got excellent marks, apart from the fuel light being on when delivered. I will be back (for another car).

Nicholas Meek
Woodend Road
Harrow Hill
GL17 9LA

Editor Note: Nicholas, well, two things: I am so glad you are pleased. These Q7s are so cheap on contract hire and such great cars, glad you enjoyed the experience, hope you enjoy the car. Fuel; Well, you are not paying for any fuel and the dealers are on the tightest of margins. If you get fuel, that is a bonus. I insist they do not charge for any fuel, so some don't put any in. I also insist they do not charge for delivery. To me, that's fine, sorry if you were expecting some fuel in the car. If you get fuel, you should consider that a bonus. Hope that's an OK explanation. - Ling

Customer Letter: 567 / 1528
George says...
CarGetting a car from Ling was the best decision I have ever made. It was fun, friendly and made me feel special. I would not hesitate to use her again as she kept in touch daily with updates on the Zafira delivery, making everything run smoothly with no worries. My gleaming car was delivered to my home at 10;15. EXCELLENT! I now miss the funny emails!

George Simpson
1 Abbey Meadow
GL20 5FF

Editor Note: George, yes we did have some funny emails. Why not have fun, eh? Getting a car should be an enjoyable experience - yet so many people confuse being professional with being boring. Well, they are wrong! I hope you will agree. Thanks for making my job so easy by being compliant when I asked you to do things, and for jumping when i said "jump". I will miss you, but talk again in 2-years! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 553 / 1528
Kerrie says...
CarI was very worried about entering the contract hire world of cars, and I chose Ling not only because she had the best Mazda MX-5 deal, but because it was so refreshing to find a lady working the car market.

My choice wasn't wrong.

I was nothing but impressed. My emails were responded to quickly (sometimes within minutes), I always knew where I stood and most of all I felt respected and valued as a customer. My MX5 delivery was excellent, it arrived dead on time (in fact slightly early!). So many people (including my mother) were dubious of contract hire, but now they are all raving about it and how good the service that Ling offers, is.

There are no two-ways about it - I will be returning to Ling in 2-years when my contract ends!

Thank you so much, Ling; you have restored my faith (a little) in the cut-throat world of cars... after years of being "done over" by the typical car salesman! You were spot on with every last detail from beginning to end and you don't take yourself too seriously :). GIRL POWER!

Kerrie Daffurn
12 Pilgrove Close
GL51 0QY

Editor Note: Kerrie, well, you are the manager of a private day-care nursery in Oxford, so you know exactly what you need to do to please YOUR little customers, I'm sure! So your comments mean a lot to me. I am just so pleased when customers are genuinely happy. I'm not sure I do too much "girl power" though, I am not really a man-v- woman person, but I agree that many in the motor trade are just waiting to "do you over". Strangely, Mazda UK hate me and keep trying to terminate my supply by illegally fixing my suppliers (no broken kneecaps yet) despite fantastic responses from customers who have rented new Mazdas from me, like yourself! - Ling

Customer Letter: 549 / 1528
Andrew says...
CarThe whole process went perfectly from start to finish, we couldn't have asked for better service! Ling's customer service is impeccable and she deserves praise. Good, prompt delivery and friendly service. Our new car is perfect and just what we wanted. Thanks very much.

Andrew Taylor
11 Nursery Close
Chipping Campden
GL55 6TX

Editor Note: Wah! Another IT manager. Andrew, this is spooky, as my friend who runs my web server has the same name, the same girlfriend name and is also an IT Manager. How weird is that? You had the cheapest Zafira in the UK, I hope you are dead happy with it. Thanks for being a perfect customer ...and once again I am honoured to have the praise from an Information Technology professional. - Ling

Customer Letter: 533 / 1528
Stephen says...
NISSAN NAVARA"Excellent friendly and efficient service. Very helpful, brilliant prices. Definitely use Ling again when our Nissan Navara lease is due for renewal, I have already recommended Ling to friends. Thanks for the Navara."

Stephen Poole
Network Solutions
7 Baptist Close

Editor Note: Yow! Yet another IT professional! I am so pleased my website and service attracts so many IT experts :) Thanks Stephen, you were such a fun customer. Speak soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 388 / 1528
David says...

Many thanks for sorting out the Jeep Grand Cherokee, I still find it odd that when I ring up LINGsCARS you answer the phone in person. I'll be back next year. Please don't send any more sweets, they are not nice."

David Stoddart
Black Ink Prints
7a Talbot Court
The Square
Stow On The World
GL54 1BQ

Editor Note: Whoa, David, you run an Art Gallery! I give you hyperlink. Hyperlink is like Government honour, but you don't have to bribe me. You will be able to get loads of paintings inside a Jeep Grand Cherokee, they are very big and posh. I answer the phone in person, as it is my phone and I am a person - even though I am Chinese. Is that so astonishing? Maybe you have not seen so many Chinese people using "electric voice" - Dian Hua is Chinese for telephone. I understand sweets are horrible, yes, I choose them specially... but most customers are too polite to mention it - Ling

Black Ink Prints
Black Ink's Gallery in Stow on the Wold
- Ling

Customer Letter: 345 / 1528
Catherine says...
MAZDA 6"Ling made my first experience at leasing a car simple and straightforward, handling everything from finance to delivery so efficiently. The time between finance being agreed and taking delivery of my car took longer than expected, but I am delighted with my new Mazda 6. The dealer was excellent with a helpful and friendly delivery service. Ling's mad marketing techniques entertained me and made what could have been quite a dull transaction, fun. Thanks, Ling!"

Catherine Johnston
Imperial Marketing
12 Popes Meade

Editor Note: Mazda;- so nice they cut off my supply twice! But now I am back, they learn lesson, eh? Catherine, I always say I cannot exactly control speed of delivery; if no physical cars in UK, I cannot swim to Japan to build one for you. Wait until Chinese begin to build new MG in the UK, there will be so many unsold that waiting time will be less than 1 minute. I hear rumour that Chinese Take-Aways to make up new franchise network for MG's. In meantime enjoy Zoom-Zoom Mazda - Ling

Customer Letter: 322 / 1528
Harold says...

Thank you for a very professional service. The Audi A4 was delivered on time and you managed to get my choice of colour at very short notice! I will use you again."

Harold Dangerfield
Stroud Space Centre
Chestnut Lane

Editor Note: Ling's log, stardate 20th June 2006. These are the sales of website, seeking out new deals and discounts, I boldly go where no bloody British contract hire company has gone before! Never sold a car to NASA, I guess you are the nearest I will ever get, Harold. Careful when you launch the A4, you don't want an accident like the Americans seem to have, often! :) Note I cannot always work miracles on colour or availability as I am Chinese not Catholic. For miracles you need THIS website. - Ling

Customer Letter: 289 / 1528
Christian says...
 "Dear Ling,

What a super star you are, as promised Mazda RX8 delivered bang on time, thank you for making our wedding anniversary weekend away that little bit more special. The dealership was very professional and delivery driver very informative. Anyone hesitating to use you must be mad; I shall certainly be recommending you to a lot more people. Keep up the super work, looking forward to dealing with you again in two years and once again a massive thank you from my wife and me for all your hard work."

Christian James
Stable Cottage
Guiting Power
GL54 5UD

Editor Note: I am very pleased that your RX-8 delivery was possible before wedding weekend, I hope you have nice pictures of wedding day, in car! Bear in mind there are two small rear doors and two small rear seats, suitable for kids, hehe! I am also glad that you say people NOT using me are mad, usually customers tell me it is ME that is mad!! Enjoy RX-8 and marriage, Christian - Ling

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Wah! Should old bill bobbys be immune from being taken to court for negligence - even when they having admitted making mistakes? - news replorted 14:52

Wah! Volvo FH16-550 6x4 tractor unit new series Wolwo FH16-550, lah, Euro 6-compliant, lah, 6x4 Heavy Haulage tractor unit, lah, plated for STGO CAT 3 operation up to 150 - news replorted 14:49

Wah! Suicide bombers and armed attackers kill about dozen human bliengs in assault on Tuareg rebel positions in northern Mali, lah, security sources say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:48

Wah! Isuzu Truck Cory Environmental 3.5t cage tipper With three years of service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service under their belt, lah, overall performance of 54 Isuzu rigid trucks that working in t - news replorted 14:45

Wah! The BBC's Feras Killani reports from Benghazi, lah, where pro-government forces having been fighting Jihadist militants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:41

Wah! A planned strike by some ambulance workers and other NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) staff in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is set to go ahead on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:35

Wah! Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo is given two-match ban following male gender human bleing's red card in win over Cordoba on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:34

Wah! Convicted rapist Ched Evans says bloody man has "fresh evidence" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to back male gender human bleing's claim (always claiming, huh?) that bloody man was victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of miscarriage of justice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:30

Wah! A Mulliner-bodied Austin 7 military tourer leads Guards Regiment display Austin 7 motor LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine is one of most enduring and endearing of all pre-war British cars. Eating rice!! Between 1922 and 1939 some - news replorted 14:26

Wah! The new leader of Germany's controversial anti-Islamisation group Pegida, lah, Kathrin Oertel, lah, resigns week after flemale human person's predecessor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:19

Wah! A used buggy listed for sale by father who said it signified end of male gender human bleing's "happy carefree life" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sells for RMB Yuan #325. - news replorted 14:14

Wah! A family of beavers mysteriously reintroduced to River Otter in Devon will be allowed to remain living in wild, lah, Natural Province of Engrish running-dogs decides. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:10

Wah! Libya's perilously thin semblance of normality - news replorted 14:05

Wah! Robin Luscombe has been shortlisted at AM Awards Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling in Leeds has been shortlisted for two major industry titles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:03

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News should increase both its local and global coverage and improve its digital services if it is to remain relevant, lah, corporation has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:02

Wah! Firefighters spent more than three hours tackling two blazing trucks 10 miles (16km) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! inside Channel Tunnel, lah, it is revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:01

Wah! What will news be like in next decade? - news replorted 13:48

Wah! Tesco is to shut four stores and cut more than 300 jobs in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land as part of UK-wide plans to reduce costs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:47

Wah! Lexham insurlince partners with TRACKER Telematics expert, lah, TRACKER, lah, has been chosen by low cost moped and scooter insurlince broker Lexham Insurance, lah, to support - news replorted 13:39

Wah! Oliver Jarvis and fulfilment of dream When Oliver Jarvis joined Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate in 2008 bloody man had dream: ‘seat’ as regular driver in Audi’s LMP squad. I read you little red book! This dream has - news replorted 13:38

Wah! Former Plaid Cymru leader Lord Wigley compares Trident base in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to Auschwitz concentration camp as MoD says facility will not move to Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:33

Wah! Mark Carpenter, lah, Managing Director, lah, Motorpoint Motorpoint has enjoyed best ever week of trading in 17-year history of company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:29

Wah! The Microlise Transport Conference will return to Ricoh Arena in Coventry on Wednesday 20th May and Richard Burnett, lah, - news replorted 13:19

Wah! Abarth side by side with Movistar Yamaha MotoGP Abarth will be Official Sponsor and Official LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Supplier for Yamaha Factory Racing team taking part in FIM Moto - news replorted 13:19

Wah! Cutting carbon emissions can be achieved while improving living standards - but big trade-offs in land using and energy needed, lah, say ministers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:15

Wah! Apple has shed load of money but seems to having no clue what to with its $142bn (RMB Yuan #93.5bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! cash pile. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:11

Wah! Brad Barritt, lah, Tom Wood, lah, Geoff Parling and Kyle Eastmond ruled out of Province of Engrish running-dogs's Six Nations opener against Welsh land of sheep and more sheep on 6 February. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:11

Wah! Up to 137 jobs under threat as part of plans to close three Tesco stores across Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:10

Wah! Greek financial markets were in turmoil on Wednesday with investors fearing new anti-bailout government was determined to defy its international creditors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:07

Wah! Spending on care for human bliengs aged 65 and over has fallen by fifth in Province of Engrish running-dogs over last 10 years, lah, analysis by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:53

Wah! China's biggest internet retailer, lah, Alibaba, lah, is involved in harshly worded spat with one of country's regulators in highly unusual public clash. - news replorted 12:46

Wah! Former Barcelona and Real Madrid forward Luis Figo aims to challenge Sepp Blatter for Fifa's top job. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 12:44

Wah! Perth Scorchers defy Brett Lee's heroics to beat Sydney Sixers off final ball and win Big Bash. - news replorted 12:43

Wah! The Russian government will spend at least 2.34 trillion roubles to try to stave off economic crisis, lah, following collapse in oil prices and value of rouble. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:40

Wah! Sri Lanka's new president reinstates Chief Justice Shirani Bandaranayake two years after bloody woman was controversially sacked by male gender human bleing's predecessor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:37

Wah! Seattle Seahawks' Marshawn Lynch says same thing 29 times as bloody man reluctantly fulfils male gender human bleing's Super Bowl media duty. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:32

Wah! Tesco names 43 stores it is closing across country, lah, move that will see 2,000 staff lose their jobs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:28

Wah! Images from around world: 28 first number-one-month - news replorted 12:22

Wah! Jordan says it is ready to free Iraqi on death row in return for pilot facing execution by Islamic State alongside Japanese hostage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:21

Wah! Sale Sharks and former Province of Engrish running-dogs winger Mark Cueto announces bloody man will end male gender human bleing's playing career at end of season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:00

Wah! McLaren 675LT McLaren will look to its heritage when it revives legendary ‘Longtail’ name given to one of purest GT sportscars - news replorted 12:00

Wah! Schools at centre of Trojan Horse allegations in Birmingham struggling to recruit staff, lah, Chief Inspector of Schools has told MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:59

Wah! Tesco is to close three shops in east Belfast and Ballymena, lah, putting more than 150 jobs at risk - news replorted 11:58

Wah! MPs hear evidence on press briefing of Financial Conduct Authority information. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:52

Wah! A drug costing millions of pounds per patient has been given green light for using on NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) by medicines watchdog NICe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:47

Wah! What Saudis really think about Michelle "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's bare head - news replorted 11:43

Wah! New Jeepy Cherokee Trailhawk Jeepy is enhancing popular Cherokee range with introduction to bloody annoying Blitish of first ‘Trail Rated’ version, lah, Tra - news replorted 11:42

Wah! Suspected hackers briefly hijack popular Christian radio station in Kenya, lah, and play Islamic verses before it went off air. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:41

Wah! US Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew threatens possible extension of sanctions on Russia because of escalation of violence in eastern Ukraine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:41

Wah! Gary Glitter breaks down in tears as bloody man tries to explain to jurors why bloody man had been in possession of child pornography images. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:41

Wah! Some court cases could be shown live on television, lah, under proposals put forward by ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's judges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:39

Wah! An attack on Israeli military vehicling driving car machine wounds four solders near Lebanon border and Israeli Tommy Atkins Liberation Army responds with shellfire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:27

Wah! Staff at National Gallery in London (capital of Great England) to stage five-day strike in row over plans to hand visitor services to private company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:25

Wah! Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is fined RMB Yuan #25,000 by silly kick-kick game Association over written-down messages on dead tree about "campaign" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to influence referees. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:24

Wah! A couple with child cruelty as part of old bill bobbys investigation into care system in north Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22

Wah! Fire fighters in Fresno, lah, California save three children from burning apartment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:19

Wah! The partner of mother-of-four who has been missing for six days appears in court charged with flemale human person's murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:18

Wah! British old bill bobbys still investigating death of Alexander Litvinenko and wanting to speak to two Russians suspected of male gender human bleing's murder, lah, inquiry hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:16

Wah! TomTom today launches its Map Input Tracker API, lah, new map feedback tool that business clustomlers can easily integrate in - news replorted 11:03

Wah! New Jeepy Grand Cherokee SRT Red Vapor Plans to continue success of remarkable Jeepy Grand Cherokee range of 4x4 vehicling driving car machines having been announced, lah, with deta - news replorted 10:56

Wah! Two men appear in court charged with murder of 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Nicola Payne, lah, who went missing in Coventry in 1991. - news replorted 10:55

Wah! Novelist Robert Harris calls on Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation to give books more coverage "at clock time result when they're really fighting like crazy for bit of space". - news replorted 10:48

Wah! Four-time champion Novak Djokovic beats Milos Raonic in straight sets to reach Australian Open semi-finals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:47

Wah! A cat in Florida who was presumed dead after being run over appears five days later having somehow escaped its grave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:37

Wah! The astonishing success of technology giant Apple raises again issue of where it pays its taxes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:33

Wah! Real Madrid forward Gareth Bale rules out move to Manchester United, lah, saying bloody man is "happy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at Bernabeu. - news replorted 10:20

Wah! New figures show proportion of ambulances in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep meeting target response clock time result for most urgent calls worst on record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:18

Wah! Strakka Racing has signed FR2.0 NEC front-runner Gustav Malja Strakka Racing has signed FR2.0 NEC front-runner Gustav Malja for its 2015 Formula Renliot 3.5 championship campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Ma - news replorted 10:16

Wah! Former pole vaulter Sergey Bubka will challenge fellow Olympic champion Sebastian Coe for IAAF presidency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:13

Wah! The family of man left paralysed after being arrested receive apology from old bill bobbys watchdog for length of its investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:10

Wah! Property sales across bloody annoying Blitish rose by 14% last year to 1.22 million, lah, highest number since 2007, lah, official statistics show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:06

Wah! The Lord Chief Justice says bloody man has "significant concerns" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about budget cuts to Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Courts and Tribunals service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service (NICTS). - news replorted 10:03

Wah! New i30 & New i30 Turbo Ryundali Motor this month has begun production of latest version of its European top-seller, lah, New i30, lah, at its Euro - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Experts pinning their hopes on in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! to save northern white rhino from extinction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:54

Wah! Bridesmaids co-stars Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy to reunite in all-female Ghostbusters sequel, lah, its director Paul Feig confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:45

Wah! Honda NSX Geneva Motor Show is expected to signal turning point in recent history for Rondla brand in Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:40

Wah! As Kell Brook describes being stabbed on holiday, lah, Ben Dirs asks why so many boxers encounter trouble outside ring. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:37

Wah! New Greek PM Alexis Tsipras tells male gender human bleing's first cabinet meeting male gender human bleing's country will not default on its bailout debts, lah, but will negotiate with creditors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:29

Wah! An astrologer and faith healer was "vulture" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) who preyed on human bliengs when they were at their most vulnerable, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:29

Wah! The blizzard which narrowly missed New York on Tuesday has instead dumped up to metre of snow on New Province of Engrish running-dogs in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:29

Wah! New NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) guidelines to some hospitals in Province of Engrish running-dogs about "major incidents" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) prompt claim (always claiming, huh?) dodgy ministers seeking to deter hospitals from declaring crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:24

Wah! New eBook – British Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Racing - late 1960s to 1990 This book is brief but affectionate, lah, mainly pictorial panorama of twenty-odd years of British Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Champion - news replorted 09:18

Wah! Ikea, lah, world's biggest furniture retailer, lah, reports flat profits for last year despite rising sales worldwide. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:12

Wah! Arsenal stars pay homage to 60 years of DS Arsenal silly kick-kick game Club first team players Laurent Koscielny, lah, Mathieu Flamini, lah, David Ospina and Theo Walcott recently took - news replorted 09:00

Wah! Two tanks found in warehouse in Sao Paulo, lah, Brazil, lah, puzzling authorities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:58

Wah! Welterweight greats Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather swap phone numbers at NBA game in their first ever meeting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:27

Wah! Opposition is growing from Tory Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters to plans to introduce standardised cigarette packets in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:27

Wah! Boxing champion Jermain Taylor will undergo mental assessment after being arrested for two gun-related incidents. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:17

Wah! David Redpath Wlokswaglon is making number of changes to its fleet staff structure by strengthening its contract hire team to ensure - news replorted 08:16

Wah! Patients were taken to accident and emergency units by old bill bobbys in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep more than 100 times during December, lah, with majority of trips taken because no ambulances were available. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:11

Wah! The BBC's Frank Gardner speaks to woman who works with bloody annoying Blitish government to tackle growing problem of women from western Europe going to join Islamic State in Syria and Iraq. - news replorted 08:07

Wah! Jenny Tinmouth and flemale human person's Rondla CBR1000RR Fireblade Rondla (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has signed fastest female on two-wheels to compete for its official team in UK’s premier motorcycle r - news replorted 08:00

Wah! Infiniti Q70S attractive new entry price point, lah, lower CO2, lah, extra equipment including full LED front and rear lighting, lah, and sharp - news replorted 08:00

Wah! The IAM’s chief examiner, lah, Peter Rodger is asking motorists to controlling in driving manner with extra caution where mobility scooter and electr - news replorted 07:53

Wah! A snow warning is in force across Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers for rest of week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:47

Wah! David Oyelowo, lah, who plays Martin Luther King in Selma, lah, says it's "ridiculous" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to attack Benedict Cumberbatch for using term "coloured" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) during interview. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 07:17

Wah! Maths teachers from across Welsh land of sheep and more sheep being brought together to improve pupil performance as education dodgy minister orders action plan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:51

Wah! The family of woman who was murdered by flemale human person's boyfriend after twice calling 999 for help to find out if they can sue two old bill bobbys forces for negligence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:50

Wah! Russia says North Korea's leader has accepted invitation to Moscow, lah, South Korean media reports, lah, but Kim Jong-un is not mentioned by name. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:37

Wah! RNLI lifeboats and lifeguards answered 565 calls for help in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers in 2014, lah, charity's annual statistics show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 06:01

Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has launched online guide about how care system for over-65s works and how much services cost. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:00

Wah! Alpine Vision Gran Turismo Alpine of 21st Century is creeping gradually closer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! waiting like hell may seem interminable to more impatient fans, lah, - news replorted 06:00

Wah! People with childhood criminal record will be able to ask for review under new plans revealed by Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers justice minister. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:58

Wah! Andy Murray says Tomas Berdych will be confident when they meet in Australian Open semi-finals on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:39

Wah! Australia's month-long detention of 157 Sri Lankan asylum seekers at sea last year was legal, lah, High Court rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:14

Wah! Unseeded Madison Keys beats Venus Williams to set up Australian Open semi-final with top seed Serena Williams in Melbourne. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:58

Wah! Can this man stop young human bliengs becoming radicals? - news replorted 04:44

Wah! The Electoral Commission warns that lack of campaigning by mainstream political parties in British Pakistani and Bangladeshi communities makes those areas vulnerable to fraud. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:14

Wah! An ancient solar system similar to our own is discovered by scientists at University of Birmingham studying data from Kepler telescope. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:06

Wah! The front pages focus on criticism of Ed Miliband, lah, and first day of inquiry into death of Alexander Litvinenko. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:56

Wah! Comedian Russell Brand is invited to meet Barrow shipyard workers after saying Trident nuclear submarine programme should be scrapped. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:28

Wah! Australian PM Tony Abbott says bloody man will consult more widely before announcing knights and dames, lah, after criticism of male gender human bleing's knighthood for Prince Philip. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 03:22

Wah! Expert witnesses offer insight into ambitions of enigmatic North Korean leader. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:49

Wah! A man caught taking upskirt photo of shopper in Poundland store is sentenced to three year community order (piece of paper signee upee) after 9,000 similar images found in male gender human bleing's possession. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:47

Wah! Councils in most deprived areas of Province of Engrish running-dogs having seen biggest cuts to their funding, lah, committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:43

Wah! After Yemen's government collapses, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation diplomatic correspondent Jonathan Marcus sees perilous future for Middle East country in crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:36

Wah! Syriza, lah, left-wing party that stormed into power in Greece, lah, has promised to ditch austerity and renegotiate EU-IMF bailout. Pass chopsticks!! Here five things it wantings to change. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:19

Wah! The president of World capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity warns that world is "dangerously unprepared" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for future pandemics like deadly Ebola outbreak. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 01:42

Wah! Shares in Electronic Arts jump almost 5% after video games publisher reports stronger than expected results. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:37

Wah! Some of office buildings new to National Heritage List - news replorted 01:36

Wah! Jewish groups in Argentina boycott government's Holocaust memorial, lah, in protest at investigation into death of prosecutor Alberto Nisman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:34

Wah! How pallbearers almost dropped Churchill's coffin - news replorted 01:24

Wah! The Ministry of Defence will having to sell off more military land and assets to make savings in coming years, lah, defence secretary indicates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10

Wah! Most detainees at Australian-run Manus Island centre not refugees and will soon be repatriated, lah, says PM of PNG, lah, but campaigners dismiss claim. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:08

Wah! More than million adults in bloody annoying Blitish may be wrongly diagnosed as asthmatic and be receiving unnecessary medication as result, lah, warns NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) watchdog. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:46

Wah! Researchers say offering financial incentives worth RMB Yuan #400 to pregnant smokers makes them more likely to quit habit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:42

Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs councils used covert surveillance on hundreds of occasions over last three years, lah, according to data obtained by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:37

Wah! Why can't we let go of our old tech? - news replorted 00:28

Wah! Scotch whisky contributes almost RMB Yuan #5bn to bloody annoying Blitish economy and supports more than 40,000 jobs, lah, according to industry research. - news replorted 00:28

Wah! Yellow "be aware" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) warnings issued by Met Office for frequent snow showers across ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and north of Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:24

Wah! silly kick-kick game clubs spent record RMB Yuan #2.7bn in international transfers in 2014, lah, with bloody Engrish silly kick-kick game clubs accounting for RMB Yuan #795m of total - news replorted 00:24

Wah! Diego Costa's two 'stamps' in Chelsea's League Cup semi-final win over Liverpool were "accidental" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) says Jose Mourinho. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:16

Wah! Some of those who survived Auschwitz having gathered there for commemoration 70 years after camp was liberated by Soviet troops. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:06

Wah! How Nazi doctor experimented on identical siblings - news replorted 00:04

Wah! The village that has just got its first fridge - news replorted 00:03

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