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Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Kia Sorento 2.2 CRDi 16v (197bhp) KX-1 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2199cc Diesel at £314.69 inc VAT at 17:42 today - Ling
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Bannatyne & Ling on TV "Oi, Bannatyne!!"
shouted Ling Valentine, as she rolled up to surprise the Scotch Dragon on the Newcastle Quayside in her German-flagged yellow "wasp".

Bannatyne & Ling Unsurprisingly, Duncan looked on in sheer disbelief. After all, it had been four years since Ling had arrived in the Den, taunted the Dragons with her outlandishly different marketing techniques. Ling walked away from a deal, turning down Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh.

Duncan Bannatyne

Since then, business for Ling has been booming! Turning over £35million worth of cars in 2010, it turns out that Ling really didn't seem to need the Dragons' money in the first place.

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10 seconds of Deborah Meaden on Ling

Duncan declined the offer of a lift from Ling, but did visit World Headquarters in Gateshead, to see first hand how Ling manages to churn out so many new cars each month.

He was greeted by a pile of cash; £50,000 to be exact, the same amount he and Richard had offered Ling in the first place. After falling victim to his Scotch blood and putting the cash in his suit pocket, Ling showed him around the office and allowed him a brief moment to glaze over the LINGsCARS accounts.

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2 minutes of Ling gobbing off

How to Win a Dragon on BBC2 That's when the Dragon began to spit flames. The summary of accounts that Ling had provided was not good enough, Duncan wanted to know EXACTLY what he'd missed out on, and demanded to speak to Ling's accountant.

Ling stood her ground, and a stalemate was reached, with Duncan settling for the Companies House accounts for LINGsCARS, finally realising the goldmine Ling had originally denied him.

Bannatyne on the Bridge Ling showed Bannatyne that his £25,000 investment would now have been worth £100,000 (plus his original £25k back). Bannatyne disputed these figures, though it's unsure what the BBC will show. Since the filming, Ling has completed her April 2011 accounts and can now prove that Bannatyne was utterly wrong to contradict her figures, which are correct.

Profit for LINGsCARS in the year 2010 to 2011 is in excess of £100,000!

Bannatyne at World HQ
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Ling's full 11 minute appearance on the programme

A BBC Book:

"from pitch to profit"

"Business lessons are brought to life through the insights and strategies of myself, the Dragons and the entrepreneurs"

A lesson in Sales and Marketing:
Ling Valentine and

"Well, I have been featured as a chapter in a new BBC book. Here, you can read it. Hope you enjoy as much as the Dragons enjoyed my pitch! There's a clip, to the right..."- Ling!

You can download this chapter of the book (shown below) as a pdf to print, HERE (2.6 Mb)

You can buy this book (discounted) at Amazon, HERE

Extract from Dragons' Den, Success from pitch to profit...
A lesson in Sales and Marketing: Ling Valentine and

Ling Valentine had been running her business for about five years by the time she appeared before the Dragons in February 2007. With an entertaining and spirited pitch that managed to crack smiles on even the most stony of Dragon faces, Ling displayed charm and enthusiasm as well as a truly unique eye for marketing techniques. Her personality and skills led to both Richard Farleigh and Duncan Bannatyne offering to buy equity in her company, but that was only the start of the drama

The story of Ling's career is facinating: 'I was stuck in China as just another one of the 1.2 billion people competing for a thin slice of a small cake, so, having completed my BSc in Applied Chemistry, in 1996 I went to Finland to continue my studies,' she explains. While in Helsinki, Ling met future husband and business partner Jon through an early version of an internet chat room. Eventually, Ling flew to England for a visit and they drove around Europe together to meet other friends they had met through the same websites. 'Of course,' says Ling, 'we fell in love and that was that!'

After a protracted period of wading through red tape, Ling moved to Britain. While Jon ran a contract hire business, she returned to university and obtained an MSc in Environmental Protection. Finally, a move to Newcastle saw the pair decide to set up their own business and was born. In simple terms, Ling offers individuals or businesses the opportunity to rent brand new cars over an extended period of time - usually between one to three years, with a mileage constraint built into the agreement. Ling scours car dealerships herself and showcases the best deals that she can find on her cluttered, blinking but delightful website that emphasises friendliness and approachability rather than corporate facelessness and difficult jargon.

The service has many advantages. Customers do not need significant finance to be able to use a brand new car for a few years, there is plenty of choice thanks to Ling's own research and there are attractive bonuses such as free road-tax for the duration of the contract. Quite apart from all that, Ling provides a personal and honest touch that many people clearly find refreshing and reassuring - a fact qualified by over 600 letters and emails of recommendation on the site.

It is Ling herself who is the focus of the branding of the company. 'Everyone always told me I have a weird character,' she explains. 'I am quite forceful and if I want something I just get it. So I thought: there are no Chinese birds selling cars in the UK, so why not simply market myself as a unique concept? I like to have fun and that is what is missing from car sales. I am confident enough that my service is quite simply the best in the UK, so I stuck my name and my head on the website!'

Ling has become justly well known for her bizarre and hugely inventive promotional ideas. The most famous, which Ling showcased in the Den, is her nuclear missile truck. 'It was really down to Tony Blair and George Bush,' she says. 'They were making so much of the "weapons of mass destruction" and I thought - I can do better than that! So I imported an ex-People's Liberation Army nuclear decontamination truck from China. It's lovely. It cost me £3,500 in total, plus VAT. It arrived on a boat from Shanghai.' Together, Ling and Jon built a missile and branded it with Ling's head and the name of the business. 'I parked it in Sedgefield and pointed it west, towards George Bush,' adds Ling triumphantly. 'When I finally had to move it I received hundreds of letters and emails from people saying they missed it!' The Angel of the North, it seems, has some competition.

'I live inside my website,' says Ling. 'It is everything to me. I really wanted the most thought -provoking, useful and entertaining car website in the UK. Being from China, freedom of speech is important to me, so I went out of my way to tell the truth to customers without the waffle. The first thing I did was provide accurate car stock information and clear pricing, because so many other websites simply do not provide these most basic facts. To communicate with customers I employed the same device that Jon and I used when I was living in Finland - instant web chat. I made it a rule from day one that customers could talk to me live on the website and this is extremely popular.'

In the past Ling offered a free lunch, distributed Chaiman Mao Little Red Books in exchange for poetry from customers, and made short videos in which her sister Shan road-tested various cars for the benefit of viewers. Naturally, the series was named Chop Gear and it featured Shan in a Chinese People's Liberation Army uniform explaining the features and advantages of different cars - most importantly, how many Chinese takeaways can fit snugly into the boot. 'BMW have never forgiven me for that,' smiles Ling. It is a site voted one of the Top 100 sites in the worId by FHM magazine.

In 2006, Ling was the winner of the Women in Retail category at the North East Entrepreneur of the Year awards. 'I share this honour with Duncan Bannatyne who won the equivalent male award in the past,' says Ling proudly.

On returning from a trip to China Ling began to prepare her presentation for the Dragons. 'I wanted a small investment as my business does not eat cash but I was also looking for help with a five-year business plan and an exit strategy. So, having read Duncan's book and researched Richard's success in this area, I focused on these two Dragons,' explains Ling. Most importantly, though, she was determined to make a very special impression: 'Having fun was a real aim of mine. It's pointless to bore the socks off the viewers. I really wanted to entertain the Dragons because I knew I would have a much easier time if they were laughing!'

Many entrepreneurs enter the Den dressed for the occasion in suits or other appropriate business wear. Ling, of course, was never likely to let standard protocol obstruct her own individuality and, armed with visual aids depicting her website and her nuclear missile, Ling faced the Dragons in combat trousers, a bright orange shirt and a Mongolian fur-trimmed body warmer. The panel were therefore immediately aware that this particular presentation was going to be a little different. 'I really thought Peter Jones would moan, but he never mentioned my clothes,' laughs Ling.

Ling began by directing the Dragons towards the photo of her branded missile truck, a useful ploy to engage their interest as quickly as possible. She then began to explain the nature of her business: 'Contract hire is a very cheap way to run a brand new car. In the US more than 20 per cent of cars are purchased this way, while in the UK it is less than 1 per cent. On my website people can choose the car they want and if they have good credit history the car will be delivered to them. Easy. On average I sell £1 million worth of cars per month and I have made over £100,000 in gross profit in each of the last two years.' Ling then asked for £50,000 for a 5 per cent share in the company, adding that the money would be put towards more marketing schemes, and clairned that by 2010 that initial investment would be worth £400,000.

That was pretty much the end of a succinct and confident pitch, but, her eyes once again on effective publicity, Ling utilised an idea from her website: 'You can trust me that I have good marketing skills and I'd like to remind you of your British saying: "There is no such thing as a free lunch,"' at which point she handed out free packets of noodles, all branded with Ling on the back, to each of the Dragons. Some looked delighted while one or two, it has to be said, looked rather bemused by it all.

Peter Jones led the Dragons into launching an investigation into her missile truck. Duncan clearly felt empathy when Ling said that the council had ordered her to move it: 'Yeah, councils can be like that,' he replied ruefully.
Richard obtained some information about the function of the website and discovered that Ling takes commission from the car dealers. 'I've got to say congratulations,' he said. 'The profit is quite low but the turnover is fantastic.' Clearly, Richard was considering an offer, Peter clarified some details on Ling's monthly profit, discerning that in 2006 she was making a monthly gross profit of approximately £10,000.

Theo was a little more stringent, however, and it was at this point that things began to unravel. Ling explained, a little uncertainly: 'My net profit in 2005 is £70,000. I left it in the business and then in 2006 I used £25,000 of that money for the marketing. I can't do any marketing without the money.' But Theo was still unsure as to the exact details.

'On your audited accounts did you actually show £70,000 before tax and then pay corporation tax on that?'

'I think I paid about £5,000 quarterly on tax. The thing is that I don't do the books.' Theo was distinctly unimpressed and at this answer he exploded in indignation.

'You come here asking for money saying you don't do the books, how do you expect me to give you money if you don't know what you're making?'

This small exchange was almost like setting off a roll of dominos. Ling protested that her business was clearly making money and was still going strong after five years, but Peter was unmoved and was even a mite sarcastic in his response: 'Your lack of business nous is terrifying. You can't even tell me how much you're making over three years. Can you imagine me giving you £50,000 now and asking what you spent the money on? "Oh I dunno, I bought another missile." You haven't got a full understanding and appreciation of your business. That's my problem. I'm out.' Very quickly Theo expressed his admiration for Ling's abilities but admitted that he was not prepared to invest either.

Peter Jones: Your lack of business nous is terrifying

Deborah, frustrated by Ling's ability to present any plausible financial answers, arrived at the same conclusion as her colleagues: 'You have a lot of what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur but I couldn't work with you because you can't give a straight answer,' she explained. 'For me you've absolutely lost credibility. I'm very disappointed.' Deborah, too, withdrew from any possible bidding.

Ling, however, feels their questioning was unfair: 'At the time, was a partnership. Consequently, I did not have any corporation tax figure or audited accounts. It's quite impossible for a partnership to provide these and it was unfair of Theo to demand them just to make me look like I did not know how much money I was earning.'

Three down and two to go and it appeared that Ling's appealing pitch had perhaps championed style over substance. Richard, not for the first time, was about to buck the trend. 'I think you're a good business person,' he began. 'You've created a good business with great turnover and you have a good reputation. I have an issue with the valuation, but just to get things moving I'd like to offer you half the money, but it's going to be a completely different valuation to what you're talking about. I would like to offer you £25,000 for 20 per cent.' This was well short of the kind of investment to equity ratio that Ling was looking for, but she remained quiet as Duncan weighed in. Clearly charmed, the Scottish millionaire felt that could grow into a nice business and matched Richard's offer.

Ling had been looking for £50,000 for 5 per cent - here was an offer of £50,000 for a whopping 40 per cent. Ling did not blink as she refused the offer. The effect was immediate. Theo laughed, Peter gasped and Duncan replied, in disbelief: 'You're turning us down?' It was another example of Ling's headstrong belief in herself and the business. Staring Duncan right in the eye she uttered a Line that is now immortalised on her website, where she glories in her encounter in the Den:

'Well, Chinese eat Dragons for breakfast! I would say 5 per cent each, 10 per cent in total.'

Richard was once again measured in his response and between himself and Duncan an improved deal for 30 per cent of the company was tendered. To the incredulity of the Dragons, Ling remained completely unmoved. 'Thank you. I refuse it.' Theo, perhaps surprised that Duncan and Richard had even made such an offer, could contain himself no longer:

'Ling - think about it. It's a fantastic offer. It's an unbelievable offer. Take their money.' Deborah concurred and for a moment it looked as if Ling had a real dilemma on her hands, but she didn't. She thanked them again and she refused them again and retreated back down the stairs.


I turn down investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh on BBC 2 Dragons' Den.

- Note, you must download and play this movie locally, as YouTube think it is copyright BBC.

BBC 2 Dragons' Den pitch (44Mb, 11 mins)

Explaining her decision, Ling says: 'All I could think about was that I could get that cash in 30 seconds from the bank for no equity stake, and that I could not face giving away a third of my business for that, I had a proven business and they had no risk! After the Den I had some regrets, mainly wondering if I had lost out from not working with Duncan and what I had potentially lost from Richard's end-game expertise, but since my episode aired I have been incredibly busy.' Indeed, her appearance sparked immediate interest; 'Web visits on the night of the broadcast were over 5,000 people, and the next day it was over 10,000. I spent the whole night trying to stop my server crashing!'

Whlle her madcap nature may have stunned and perhaps even put off some of the Dragons, it is easy to see why Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh were interested in Ling's business. Both of these Dragons place plenty of stock in the people that hey are working with. Clearly both Richard and Duncan could see that with a little more guidance and advice, Ling could take her business to a new level.

Even without such guidance, though, Ling's business has continued to grow. She has plundered her appearance on the show for more positive publicity; her company is being used as a business project for A-Level students; she has bought an old London Routemaster bus which she uses as a kind of mobile promotional tool at large events up and down the country and her website has been voted best non-franchised site by Automotive Management magazine. Turnover has more than doubled and Ling is confident she will exceed £200,000 in commission income at the end of 2007. She has turned down at least ten investment offers and has valiantly fended off advances from large competitors who have taken a distinct interest in her business. 'I don't want to bleed overheads on fancy salaries, perks and overheads. I have remained totally focused on the needs of the customer.'

Business has been booming: 'Since the show I have been working from 6 am to 8 pm and I have been offered more and more cars to sell as my customer base has grown. I have increased the number of premium car brands I rent (at discount prices) and have had offers of other business opportunities.' One deal Ling has completed is an agreement that sees her refer customers to a particular car insurance company in exchange for a monthly fee. In keeping with her commitment to keep costs low, Ling uses this cash to help subsidise the deals on her website.

Ling freely admits that her antics have made her unpopular in some circles, but she refuses to be distracted by abusive e-mails and anti-competitive pressure from within the motor industry: 'Overheads in the new car industry are sickeningly high, and I simply remove these costs for my customers. I ignore complaints from manufacturers and dealers and take all my advice from my customers,' she insists. With her business continuing to bloom and her innovative promotional ideas stretching to offering customers free cash (Chinese Yuan sent in the post), perhaps in time Ling may even force Richard into regretting not caving in to her demands.
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Wah! An animal welfare charity appeals for owner of dog found wandering on top of Province of Engrish running-dogs's highest mountain to come forward. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:49

Wah! Edoardo Mortara, lah, DTM Hockenheim 2015 As leader of all three classifications (drivers’, lah, manufacturers’ and teams’), lah, Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate heads to second DTM weekend o - news replorted 12:44

Wah! Hexagon Charity evening celebrating life of Ayrton Senna stellar line-up of famous faces from worlds of F1 and film will converge on Hexagon in north London (capital of Great England) this June-mber month for - news replorted 12:43

Wah! Matt Buckley, lah, Boughton Engineering service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service & Parts Manager Boughton Engineering, lah, Britain’s longest established manufacturer of skip loaders and hook loaders, lah, has appointed well-kn - news replorted 12:37

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish government has started selling off big chunks of internet addresses that it no longer uses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:33

Wah! As London (capital of Great England) 3D printing using dead tree product Show rolls into town, lah, BBC's Theo Leggett offers whistle-stop tour to assess industry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:28

Wah! Middle East correspondent Jim Muir reports from strategic site on Lebanon's border with Syria which was recently captured by Hezbollah forces from al-Nusra Front. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:23

Wah! Harry Metcalfe Coventry Transport Museum will host selection of world’s most unique cars in special Trailblazing Cars of Wo - news replorted 12:18

Wah! Mexican artist Frida Kahlo's native garden and studio recreated at New York Botanical Garden. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:16

Wah! A woman with multiple sclerosis beaten by 19-earth-years old happy birthday to you, drug user when bloody man robbed flemale human person's home says bloody woman bears no grudges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:16

Wah! How can man who helped make bombs in Bloody foreign fighty bang-bang end up on trial in London (capital of Great England) court? - news replorted 12:16

Wah! Aston Martin DBX Concept Aston Martin is once again returning to shores of Lake Como in Italy this weekend as it showcases stunning new D - news replorted 12:00

Wah! The European Union agrees €1.8bn (RMB Yuan #1.3bn; $2bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! loan to Ukraine - largest financial aid deal with non-EU member. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:57

Wah! A London (capital of Great England) cab driver is jailed for life with minimum term of 38 years for murder of Great Satan soldier in roadside bombing in Iraq in 2007. - news replorted 11:55

Wah! Southern Railway train drivers suspend their strike following new pay offer from rail operator. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:55

Wah! Conservative former cabinet dodgy minister Eric Pickles, lah, who left government at recent reshuffle, lah, is to be given knighthood. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:52

Wah! Britain's Andy Murray will play qualifier at French Open while Heather Watson will face France's Mathilde Johansson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:49

Wah! A pensioner is jailed for six years for sex crimes against children after victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) came forward following Jimmy Savile scandal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:46

Wah! Footage has emerged purporting to show North Korean ruler Kim Jong-un's brother in London (capital of Great England) - attending Eric Clapton concert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:43

Wah! A suicide bomber has struck Shia mosque in Saudi Arabia's Eastern Province, lah, causing casualties, lah, state media say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:40

Wah! EU leaders hold news briefing during second day of summit in Latvia discussing relations with ex-Soviet states. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:40

Wah! Germany's Lufthansa considers random medical checks on pilots, lah, to help prevent any future disaster like Germanwings crash. - news replorted 11:34

Wah! Labour's Kezia Dugdale confirms bloody woman will stand for leadership of flemale human person's party in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land when Jim Murphy steps down next month. - news replorted 11:25

Wah! A Max Liebermann painting from collection of late art hoarder Cornelius Gurlitt is to go up for auction next month. - news replorted 11:25

Wah! After 33-year career, lah, Tonight Show host David Letterman's velly damn good boiled chicken-feetbye attracts more than 13 million viewers - news replorted 11:21

Wah! Proprietor John Colley (left) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and General Manager Robert Jones Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is gearing up to unveil new RMB Yuan #250,000 purpose-built showroom. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:15

Wah! A measure of quality of jobs done by workers in bloody annoying Blitish has fallen slightly for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:13

Wah! Nigeria's incoming president may commute death sentences of 66 soldiers convicted for refusing to fight Boko Haram, lah, lawyer for some of them tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:12

Wah! Two thousand human bliengs expected to attend funeral of funny shape ball-game league player Danny Jones later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:07

Wah! DJ Fearne Cotton is broadcasting flemale human person's final show on Radio 1, lah, after almost 10 years at helm of Live Lounge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:38

Wah! The amount of alcohol human bliengs in Province of Engrish running-dogs drink is underestimated by equivalent of 12 million bottles of wine week, lah, according to new research. - news replorted 10:33

Wah! Rory McIlroy, lah, six strokes behind leader Francesco Molinari, lah, admits to getting "angry" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at PGA Championship. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:32

Wah! Myanmar rescues two migrant boats with more than 200 human bliengs in its waters in first such operation following criticism. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 10:31

Wah! bloody annoying Blitish government borrowing fell to RMB Yuan #6.8bn in April, lah, down from RMB Yuan #9.3bn year earlier, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:26

Wah! Brendan Rodgers says bloody man expects Raheem Sterling to see through remaining two years of male gender human bleing's contract. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:21

Wah! An 110lb unexploded World fighty bang-bang Two bomb found by builders near Wembley Stadium poses "risk to life", lah, Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:17

Wah! The basic salary for assembly members in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep will rise from RMB Yuan #54,000 to RMB Yuan #64,000 in 2016, lah, it is confirmed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:17

Wah! Hrabalek Stratos Collection High Court arglingument between Ernst Hrabalek and male gender human bleing's son Chris, lah, over ownership of collection of four Lancia Stratos - news replorted 10:11

Wah! Nissan showcases its Electric vehicling driving car machine Leadership As worldwide leader in electric vehicling driving car machines, lah, Nissling will be putting electric at heart of its UEFA Champions League Fi - news replorted 10:11

Wah! At least 18 members of Farc rebel group die in Tommy Atkins Liberation Army raid - deadliest attack since air raids resumed last month. - news replorted 10:10

Wah! Seven GT40s amongst Le Mans legends lining up for Le Mans Legend extended age range for this year’s Le Mans Legend race has allowed seven Floord GT40s to join spectacular, lah, packed - news replorted 10:07

Wah! A man aged 30 is taken to hospital after serious crash on A90 near Laurencekirk in Aberdeenshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:49

Wah! Paris St-Germain defender David Luiz accuses media of lack of respect after dismissing reports bloody man is virgin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:38

Wah! Caroline Knott from Ramsgate tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation how Kent earthquake woke flemale human person's up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:34

Wah! European Junior Cup descends on Donington Park Round four of 2015 Pata European Junior Cup, lah, powered by Honda, lah, visits Donington Park in bloody annoying Blitish this weekend marking - news replorted 09:31

Wah! GB basketball player Azania Stewart breaks down in tears as bloody woman discusses future of women's game, lah, ahead of 2015 EuroBasket in Hungary. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:23

Wah! A NEW video has been launched by road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety and breakdown organisation GEM Motoring Assist, lah, offering simple and straigh - news replorted 09:00

Wah! A review into how Northern Ireland's Public Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service handled allegations of rape and cover-up will be published later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:58

Wah! Land Rover reveals unique Defender to carry funny shape ball-game World Cup Trophy Land Rover has today revealed funny shape ball-game World Cup 2015 Defender, lah, modified 110 Station Wagon created to transport W - news replorted 08:44

Wah! In move likely to be popular with London's black cab drivers, lah, Boris Johnson is backing laws which could restrict growth of taxi app Uber. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:43

Wah! Ireland, lah, Poland, lah, Iceland and Switzerland fail to qualify for final of Eurovision Song Contest after second semi-final in Vienna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:33

Wah! Why is legal high more dangerous than cannabis? - news replorted 08:20

Wah! Nationwide building society reports 54% rise in annual pre-tax profit to RMB Yuan #1.04bn as it regains its position as UK's second-largest mortgage lender. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:21

Wah! Steven Gerrard had iconic moments but Frank Lampard won more. What the hell I mean??!! Phil McNulty grapples with long-standing question. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:13

Wah! It's Caption Challenge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:05

Wah! Director Danny Boyle takes part in opening ceremony for new RMB Yuan #25m arts centre named Home in Manchester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:55

Wah! Reporter Simon Jones talks about being woken up by 4.2 magnitude earthquake which originated near Sandwich in Kent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:49

Wah! The number of babies subject to special guardianship orders in Province of Engrish running-dogs has tripled in two years, lah, according to data obtained by BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 06:46

Wah! Dogs may having been domesticated much earlier than previously though, lah, Swedish researchers suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:41

Wah! A 49-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man arrested on suspicion of murder following compulsorly dying instantly house fire in Torfaen is released by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:34

Wah! Jayaram Jayalalitha is set to return as chief dodgy minister of southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu after governor invites flemale human person's to form new ministry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:34

Wah! Former Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News NI political correspondent Martina Purdy talks about flemale human person's new life as nun on Songs of Praise - news replorted 06:31

Wah! Prince Charles is to visit Northern Ireland's oldest peace and reconciliation centre on final day of male gender human bleing's cross-border visit to island of Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:22

Wah! An extra RMB Yuan #7.6m year will be invested to improve mental health services for children and young people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:06

Wah! Islamic State militants having seized last government-controlled border crossing between Syria and Iraq, lah, Syrian Observatory for Human Rights says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:37

Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron is to begin discussions with other European leaders on male gender human bleing's plans to renegotiate Britain's relationship with EU. - news replorted 05:19

Wah! Six Baltimore old bill bobbys officers accused in death of Great Satan man Freddie Gray having been charged by grand jury, lah, state prosecutor confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:54

Wah! Film director Danny Boyle expresses concern about gathering of personal data by companies such as Facebook and Google. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:52

Wah! Thousands turn out at mass funeral in Colombian town of Salgar for victims of Monday's devastating mudslide that killed at least 84 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:28

Wah! A magnitude 4.3 earthquake hit 32 miles (52km) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! from Southend-on-Sea in Essex, lah, European-Mediterranean Seismological Centre (EMSC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:52

Wah! Former Korean Air executive Heather Cho, lah, who was jailed for outburst over macadamia nuts, lah, has been freed after winning court appeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 03:33

Wah! Who made it through second semi-final of 2015's Eurovision Song Contest? - news replorted 03:16

Wah! When it comes to education in South Korea, lah, demand is so strong it accounts for 12% of all consumer spending. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:15

Wah! A British schoolgirl's plan to travel to Syria to join Islamic State has been disrupted after undercover newspaper investigation, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:38

Wah! Mexican investigators probing disappearance of at least 15 human bliengs in Chilapa, lah, Guerrero state, lah, after it was overrun in early May by gunmen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:35

Wah! Voters in Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers due to take part in referendum on legalising same-sex marriage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:54

Wah! With EU referendum on horizon, lah, we look at main economic arguments for and against Britain's membership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 01:33

Wah! Two men captured by Ukrainian troops confess to being members of Russian armed forces, lah, according to European mediators. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:25

Wah! Cate Blanchett on flemale human person's new film Carol - news replorted 01:14

Wah! bloody Engrish National Ballet to move to new "state of art" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) home in east London (capital of Great England) in 2018, lah, its artistic director announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10

Wah! Support for vulnerable children in Province of Engrish running-dogs is at risk as funding ebbs away, lah, analysis by Barnardo's suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08

Wah! Education Secretary Nicky Morgan begins process of creating more free schools, lah, which bloody woman describes as "engines of social justice". - news replorted 01:07

Wah! Photographer Alison Baskerville's pictures of women bloody woman met in capital of Somaliland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:03

Wah! Campaign group Action on Sugar welcomes Tesco's commitment to reduce added sugars by 5% per year in all their own-label soft drinks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:02

Wah! The label of parcel destined for officer on ill-fated Titanic is up for auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:02

Wah! Researchers discover 425-million-earth-years old happy birthday to you, remains of new species of parasite - still clamped to host animal it invaded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:01

Wah! A man accused of hacking Great Satan computers, lah, battling for return of property seized by police, lah, is given back 25 of 31 items. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:59

Wah! The hidden world of ocean's tiniest organisms has been revealed in series of studies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:59

Wah! A man has been able to control robotic limb with mind-reading implant in male gender human bleing's brain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:52

Wah! More than quarter of middle-aged person's skin may having already made first steps towards cancer, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:51

Wah! The BBC's Aidan Lewis looks at what is known about structure of Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and how jihadist group is run. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:48

Wah! Tensions still high in Burundi following failed coup bid as human bliengs protest against their autocratic president, lah, says Maud Jullien. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:46

Wah! Politics and family make for heady mix, lah, especially when it involves right-wing views and Le Pens, lah, writes Jamie Coomarasamy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:45

Wah! Hampshire old bill bobbys agree RMB Yuan #20,000 out-of-court settlement with rape victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) after officers failed to investigate flemale human person's complaint properly and arrested her. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:44

Wah! There is much discussion of latest immigration figures, lah, and Daily Mail says its investigation has prevented teenager from joining Islamic State jihadists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:36

Wah! A memorial service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is due to be held service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service at Gretna Green for victims of Britain's worst rail disaster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:34

Wah! As trade in human beings becomes more and more profitable, lah, entire communities in Thailand helping traffickers, lah, discovers Jonathan Head. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:20

Wah! Jonathan Head has spent six months investigating trafficking of humans in Thailand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:18

Wah! Victoria Derbyshire reporter Dan Johnson follows old bill bobbys operation as West Bromwich Albion play Chelsea at Hawthorns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03

Wah! The cost of renting home rose by 4.6% in year to end of April, lah, fastest rise since Novemblinger 2010, lah, survey suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02

Wah! The Clarks shoe capitalist entity started using iPads to measure children's feet last year, lah, and it's all about capturing invaluable foot data. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:02

Wah! Why shoe capitalist entity measures kids' feet with iPads - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Sun, lah, surf... and grenades in Mogadishu - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Why having women been seeing red at Cannes? - news replorted 00:01

Wah! The full story - will death in family make Buba go to rehab? - news replorted 00:00

Wah! How male and female bathing suits got smaller and smaller - news replorted 00:00

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