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Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
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Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Land Rover Range Rover Evoque (new shape) 2.0 eD4 (150bhp) SE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1999cc Diesel at £302.44 inc VAT at 16:03 today - Ling
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DRAGONS' DEN
BANNATYNE MEETS LING
Bannatyne & Ling on TV "Oi, Bannatyne!!"
shouted Ling Valentine, as she rolled up to surprise the Scotch Dragon on the Newcastle Quayside in her German-flagged yellow "wasp".

Bannatyne & Ling Unsurprisingly, Duncan looked on in sheer disbelief. After all, it had been four years since Ling had arrived in the Den, taunted the Dragons with her outlandishly different marketing techniques. Ling walked away from a deal, turning down Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh.

Duncan Bannatyne

Since then, business for Ling has been booming! Turning over £35million worth of cars in 2010, it turns out that Ling really didn't seem to need the Dragons' money in the first place.

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10 seconds of Deborah Meaden on Ling


Duncan declined the offer of a lift from Ling, but did visit World Headquarters in Gateshead, to see first hand how Ling manages to churn out so many new cars each month.

He was greeted by a pile of cash; £50,000 to be exact, the same amount he and Richard had offered Ling in the first place. After falling victim to his Scotch blood and putting the cash in his suit pocket, Ling showed him around the office and allowed him a brief moment to glaze over the LINGsCARS accounts.

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2 minutes of Ling gobbing off


How to Win a Dragon on BBC2 That's when the Dragon began to spit flames. The summary of accounts that Ling had provided was not good enough, Duncan wanted to know EXACTLY what he'd missed out on, and demanded to speak to Ling's accountant.

Ling stood her ground, and a stalemate was reached, with Duncan settling for the Companies House accounts for LINGsCARS, finally realising the goldmine Ling had originally denied him.

Bannatyne on the Bridge Ling showed Bannatyne that his £25,000 investment would now have been worth £100,000 (plus his original £25k back). Bannatyne disputed these figures, though it's unsure what the BBC will show. Since the filming, Ling has completed her April 2011 accounts and can now prove that Bannatyne was utterly wrong to contradict her figures, which are correct.

Profit for LINGsCARS in the year 2010 to 2011 is in excess of £100,000!

Bannatyne at World HQ
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Ling's full 11 minute appearance on the programme

A BBC Book:

DRAGONS' DEN
SUCCESS
"from pitch to profit"




"Business lessons are brought to life through the insights and strategies of myself, the Dragons and the entrepreneurs"
- RICHARD FARLEIGH


A lesson in Sales and Marketing:
Ling Valentine and LINGsCARS.com


"Well, I have been featured as a chapter in a new BBC book. Here, you can read it. Hope you enjoy as much as the Dragons enjoyed my pitch! There's a clip, to the right..."- Ling!


You can download this chapter of the book (shown below) as a pdf to print, HERE (2.6 Mb)

You can buy this book (discounted) at Amazon, HERE



Extract from Dragons' Den, Success from pitch to profit...
A lesson in Sales and Marketing: Ling Valentine and LINGsCARS.com


Ling Valentine had been running her business LingsCars.com for about five years by the time she appeared before the Dragons in February 2007. With an entertaining and spirited pitch that managed to crack smiles on even the most stony of Dragon faces, Ling displayed charm and enthusiasm as well as a truly unique eye for marketing techniques. Her personality and skills led to both Richard Farleigh and Duncan Bannatyne offering to buy equity in her company, but that was only the start of the drama

The story of Ling's career is facinating: 'I was stuck in China as just another one of the 1.2 billion people competing for a thin slice of a small cake, so, having completed my BSc in Applied Chemistry, in 1996 I went to Finland to continue my studies,' she explains. While in Helsinki, Ling met future husband and business partner Jon through an early version of an internet chat room. Eventually, Ling flew to England for a visit and they drove around Europe together to meet other friends they had met through the same websites. 'Of course,' says Ling, 'we fell in love and that was that!'

After a protracted period of wading through red tape, Ling moved to Britain. While Jon ran a contract hire business, she returned to university and obtained an MSc in Environmental Protection. Finally, a move to Newcastle saw the pair decide to set up their own business and Lingscars.com was born. In simple terms, Ling offers individuals or businesses the opportunity to rent brand new cars over an extended period of time - usually between one to three years, with a mileage constraint built into the agreement. Ling scours car dealerships herself and showcases the best deals that she can find on her cluttered, blinking but delightful website that emphasises friendliness and approachability rather than corporate facelessness and difficult jargon.

The service has many advantages. Customers do not need significant finance to be able to use a brand new car for a few years, there is plenty of choice thanks to Ling's own research and there are attractive bonuses such as free road-tax for the duration of the contract. Quite apart from all that, Ling provides a personal and honest touch that many people clearly find refreshing and reassuring - a fact qualified by over 600 letters and emails of recommendation on the site.

It is Ling herself who is the focus of the branding of the company. 'Everyone always told me I have a weird character,' she explains. 'I am quite forceful and if I want something I just get it. So I thought: there are no Chinese birds selling cars in the UK, so why not simply market myself as a unique concept? I like to have fun and that is what is missing from car sales. I am confident enough that my service is quite simply the best in the UK, so I stuck my name and my head on the website!'

Ling has become justly well known for her bizarre and hugely inventive promotional ideas. The most famous, which Ling showcased in the Den, is her nuclear missile truck. 'It was really down to Tony Blair and George Bush,' she says. 'They were making so much of the "weapons of mass destruction" and I thought - I can do better than that! So I imported an ex-People's Liberation Army nuclear decontamination truck from China. It's lovely. It cost me £3,500 in total, plus VAT. It arrived on a boat from Shanghai.' Together, Ling and Jon built a missile and branded it with Ling's head and the name of the business. 'I parked it in Sedgefield and pointed it west, towards George Bush,' adds Ling triumphantly. 'When I finally had to move it I received hundreds of letters and emails from people saying they missed it!' The Angel of the North, it seems, has some competition.

'I live inside my website,' says Ling. 'It is everything to me. I really wanted the most thought -provoking, useful and entertaining car website in the UK. Being from China, freedom of speech is important to me, so I went out of my way to tell the truth to customers without the waffle. The first thing I did was provide accurate car stock information and clear pricing, because so many other websites simply do not provide these most basic facts. To communicate with customers I employed the same device that Jon and I used when I was living in Finland - instant web chat. I made it a rule from day one that customers could talk to me live on the website and this is extremely popular.'

In the past Ling offered a free lunch, distributed Chaiman Mao Little Red Books in exchange for poetry from customers, and made short videos in which her sister Shan road-tested various cars for the benefit of viewers. Naturally, the series was named Chop Gear and it featured Shan in a Chinese People's Liberation Army uniform explaining the features and advantages of different cars - most importantly, how many Chinese takeaways can fit snugly into the boot. 'BMW have never forgiven me for that,' smiles Ling. It is a site voted one of the Top 100 sites in the worId by FHM magazine.



In 2006, Ling was the winner of the Women in Retail category at the North East Entrepreneur of the Year awards. 'I share this honour with Duncan Bannatyne who won the equivalent male award in the past,' says Ling proudly.

On returning from a trip to China Ling began to prepare her presentation for the Dragons. 'I wanted a small investment as my business does not eat cash but I was also looking for help with a five-year business plan and an exit strategy. So, having read Duncan's book and researched Richard's success in this area, I focused on these two Dragons,' explains Ling. Most importantly, though, she was determined to make a very special impression: 'Having fun was a real aim of mine. It's pointless to bore the socks off the viewers. I really wanted to entertain the Dragons because I knew I would have a much easier time if they were laughing!'

Many entrepreneurs enter the Den dressed for the occasion in suits or other appropriate business wear. Ling, of course, was never likely to let standard protocol obstruct her own individuality and, armed with visual aids depicting her website and her nuclear missile, Ling faced the Dragons in combat trousers, a bright orange shirt and a Mongolian fur-trimmed body warmer. The panel were therefore immediately aware that this particular presentation was going to be a little different. 'I really thought Peter Jones would moan, but he never mentioned my clothes,' laughs Ling.

Ling began by directing the Dragons towards the photo of her branded missile truck, a useful ploy to engage their interest as quickly as possible. She then began to explain the nature of her business: 'Contract hire is a very cheap way to run a brand new car. In the US more than 20 per cent of cars are purchased this way, while in the UK it is less than 1 per cent. On my website people can choose the car they want and if they have good credit history the car will be delivered to them. Easy. On average I sell £1 million worth of cars per month and I have made over £100,000 in gross profit in each of the last two years.' Ling then asked for £50,000 for a 5 per cent share in the company, adding that the money would be put towards more marketing schemes, and clairned that by 2010 that initial investment would be worth £400,000.

That was pretty much the end of a succinct and confident pitch, but, her eyes once again on effective publicity, Ling utilised an idea from her website: 'You can trust me that I have good marketing skills and I'd like to remind you of your British saying: "There is no such thing as a free lunch,"' at which point she handed out free packets of noodles, all branded with Ling on the back, to each of the Dragons. Some looked delighted while one or two, it has to be said, looked rather bemused by it all.

Peter Jones led the Dragons into launching an investigation into her missile truck. Duncan clearly felt empathy when Ling said that the council had ordered her to move it: 'Yeah, councils can be like that,' he replied ruefully.
Richard obtained some information about the function of the website and discovered that Ling takes commission from the car dealers. 'I've got to say congratulations,' he said. 'The profit is quite low but the turnover is fantastic.' Clearly, Richard was considering an offer, Peter clarified some details on Ling's monthly profit, discerning that in 2006 she was making a monthly gross profit of approximately £10,000.

Theo was a little more stringent, however, and it was at this point that things began to unravel. Ling explained, a little uncertainly: 'My net profit in 2005 is £70,000. I left it in the business and then in 2006 I used £25,000 of that money for the marketing. I can't do any marketing without the money.' But Theo was still unsure as to the exact details.

'On your audited accounts did you actually show £70,000 before tax and then pay corporation tax on that?'

'I think I paid about £5,000 quarterly on tax. The thing is that I don't do the books.' Theo was distinctly unimpressed and at this answer he exploded in indignation.

'You come here asking for money saying you don't do the books, how do you expect me to give you money if you don't know what you're making?'

This small exchange was almost like setting off a roll of dominos. Ling protested that her business was clearly making money and was still going strong after five years, but Peter was unmoved and was even a mite sarcastic in his response: 'Your lack of business nous is terrifying. You can't even tell me how much you're making over three years. Can you imagine me giving you £50,000 now and asking what you spent the money on? "Oh I dunno, I bought another missile." You haven't got a full understanding and appreciation of your business. That's my problem. I'm out.' Very quickly Theo expressed his admiration for Ling's abilities but admitted that he was not prepared to invest either.


Peter Jones: Your lack of business nous is terrifying


Deborah, frustrated by Ling's ability to present any plausible financial answers, arrived at the same conclusion as her colleagues: 'You have a lot of what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur but I couldn't work with you because you can't give a straight answer,' she explained. 'For me you've absolutely lost credibility. I'm very disappointed.' Deborah, too, withdrew from any possible bidding.

Ling, however, feels their questioning was unfair: 'At the time, Lingscars.com was a partnership. Consequently, I did not have any corporation tax figure or audited accounts. It's quite impossible for a partnership to provide these and it was unfair of Theo to demand them just to make me look like I did not know how much money I was earning.'

Three down and two to go and it appeared that Ling's appealing pitch had perhaps championed style over substance. Richard, not for the first time, was about to buck the trend. 'I think you're a good business person,' he began. 'You've created a good business with great turnover and you have a good reputation. I have an issue with the valuation, but just to get things moving I'd like to offer you half the money, but it's going to be a completely different valuation to what you're talking about. I would like to offer you £25,000 for 20 per cent.' This was well short of the kind of investment to equity ratio that Ling was looking for, but she remained quiet as Duncan weighed in. Clearly charmed, the Scottish millionaire felt that Lingscars.com could grow into a nice business and matched Richard's offer.

Ling had been looking for £50,000 for 5 per cent - here was an offer of £50,000 for a whopping 40 per cent. Ling did not blink as she refused the offer. The effect was immediate. Theo laughed, Peter gasped and Duncan replied, in disbelief: 'You're turning us down?' It was another example of Ling's headstrong belief in herself and the business. Staring Duncan right in the eye she uttered a Line that is now immortalised on her website, where she glories in her encounter in the Den:

'Well, Chinese eat Dragons for breakfast! I would say 5 per cent each, 10 per cent in total.'

Richard was once again measured in his response and between himself and Duncan an improved deal for 30 per cent of the company was tendered. To the incredulity of the Dragons, Ling remained completely unmoved. 'Thank you. I refuse it.' Theo, perhaps surprised that Duncan and Richard had even made such an offer, could contain himself no longer:

'Ling - think about it. It's a fantastic offer. It's an unbelievable offer. Take their money.' Deborah concurred and for a moment it looked as if Ling had a real dilemma on her hands, but she didn't. She thanked them again and she refused them again and retreated back down the stairs.

BBC DRAGONS' DEN!

I turn down investment from Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh on BBC 2 Dragons' Den.

- Note, you must download and play this movie locally, as YouTube think it is copyright BBC.


BBC 2 Dragons' Den pitch (44Mb, 11 mins)


Explaining her decision, Ling says: 'All I could think about was that I could get that cash in 30 seconds from the bank for no equity stake, and that I could not face giving away a third of my business for that, I had a proven business and they had no risk! After the Den I had some regrets, mainly wondering if I had lost out from not working with Duncan and what I had potentially lost from Richard's end-game expertise, but since my episode aired I have been incredibly busy.' Indeed, her appearance sparked immediate interest; 'Web visits on the night of the broadcast were over 5,000 people, and the next day it was over 10,000. I spent the whole night trying to stop my server crashing!'

Whlle her madcap nature may have stunned and perhaps even put off some of the Dragons, it is easy to see why Duncan Bannatyne and Richard Farleigh were interested in Ling's business. Both of these Dragons place plenty of stock in the people that hey are working with. Clearly both Richard and Duncan could see that with a little more guidance and advice, Ling could take her business to a new level.



Even without such guidance, though, Ling's business has continued to grow. She has plundered her appearance on the show for more positive publicity; her company is being used as a business project for A-Level students; she has bought an old London Routemaster bus which she uses as a kind of mobile promotional tool at large events up and down the country and her website has been voted best non-franchised site by Automotive Management magazine. Turnover has more than doubled and Ling is confident she will exceed £200,000 in commission income at the end of 2007. She has turned down at least ten investment offers and has valiantly fended off advances from large competitors who have taken a distinct interest in her business. 'I don't want to bleed overheads on fancy salaries, perks and overheads. I have remained totally focused on the needs of the customer.'

Business has been booming: 'Since the show I have been working from 6 am to 8 pm and I have been offered more and more cars to sell as my customer base has grown. I have increased the number of premium car brands I rent (at discount prices) and have had offers of other business opportunities.' One deal Ling has completed is an agreement that sees her refer customers to a particular car insurance company in exchange for a monthly fee. In keeping with her commitment to keep costs low, Ling uses this cash to help subsidise the deals on her website.

Ling freely admits that her antics have made her unpopular in some circles, but she refuses to be distracted by abusive e-mails and anti-competitive pressure from within the motor industry: 'Overheads in the new car industry are sickeningly high, and I simply remove these costs for my customers. I ignore complaints from manufacturers and dealers and take all my advice from my customers,' she insists. With her business continuing to bloom and her innovative promotional ideas stretching to offering customers free cash (Chinese Yuan sent in the post), perhaps in time Ling may even force Richard into regretting not caving in to her demands.


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Wah! The card game Bridge is "arguably" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sport and could qualify for lottery funding, lah, High Court judge finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:05



Wah! A controversial artificial sweetener is being removed from Diet Pepsi in Great Satan following consumer concerns about its safety. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:59



Wah! Manchester United's Javier Hernandez says male gender human bleing's loan club Real Madrid "best team in world". - news replorted 12:54



Wah! Rescue teams racing to getting to climbers who survived avalanches on Mount Everest after Nepal's earthquake before their supplies run out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:53



Wah! A team of Turkish rescue workers having pulled man alive from rubble of building in Kathmandu, lah, two days after earthquake - news replorted 12:34



Wah! Antonov - An-124 and ETC van Manufacturers cite risk of supply chain disruption as being their greatest cause of concern, lah, according to recent res - news replorted 12:34



Wah! Toyota Champions Speed Into Spa Proudly bearing their new name, lah, Toyotla Gazoo Racing will make short journey from their base in Cologne, lah, Germany, lah, to - news replorted 12:33



Wah! New Caterham race series commences in Malaysia British sportscar manufacturer, lah, Caterham Cars, lah, expanded its Caterham Racing series to Malaysia on Saturday, lah, with new c - news replorted 12:26



Wah! Hyundai i40 Tourer Ryundali Motor bloody annoying Blitish today announced official pricing and specification for New Ryundali i40. - news replorted 12:26



Wah! Sudan's President Omar al-Bashir, lah, accused of fighty bang-bang crimes in Darfur, lah, is re-elected with 94% of vote, lah, official results say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:24



Wah! Indian climber Sangeeta Bahl speaks to BBC's Geeta Pandey about flemale human person's joy at mountaineer husband Ankur Bahl's escape from Saturday's earthquake in Nepal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! A coroner tells inquest deaths of two British children on holiday in Corfu was "a most appalling tragedy". - news replorted 12:18



Wah! Six human bliengs who died from overdoses bought their drugs via Silk road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu marketplace, lah, claim (always claiming, huh?) Great Satan government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:17



Wah! Juventus boss Massimiliano Allegri says "only madman" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) would bring children to games after trouble in Turin derby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:15



Wah! Students will learn about global financial crisis in new economics A-level to be taught from September. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:15



Wah! A Conservative local election candidate who said bloody woman could never support "the Jew" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Ed Miliband is suspended. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:15



Wah! Motorists going abroad after 8 June-mber month being warned they will need to take special code with them if they wanting to hire car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:13



Wah! St Mirren captain Steven Thompson says bloody man is "mortified" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after 'spearing' team-mate John McGinn in training ground prank - news replorted 12:11



Wah! A 90-earth-years old happy birthday to you, woman is denied $41.8m (RMB Yuan #27.6m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! penny slot machine bonus after casino blames it on computer error. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:59



Wah! New footage has emerged of moment devastating earthquake struck Nepal, lah, after several Super-Duper-Chinese-State photographers arrived home on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:59



Wah! Emma Trott with Motorpoint Newport’s Ross Padfield Emma Trott has driven away in brand new Nissling Juke I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to Motorpoint and Ant n Dec. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:51



Wah! Oil price hovers at four and half month high amid concerns over disruption to supplies from Middle East. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:40



Wah! Several Scots among those still unaccounted for following massive earthquake which hit Nepal on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:35



Wah! David Cameron risks losing support of Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionists over Tories' handling of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:24



Wah! David Cameron has made passionate address at business event in London (capital of Great England) pledging to win election'. - news replorted 11:24



Wah! Germany was told of risk of flying over eastern Ukraine before flight MH17 was shot down, lah, but failed to pass on alert, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:23



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband gives speech in Stockton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Aerial view of damage in Gorkha district, lah, Kathmandu and Bhaktapur - news replorted 11:21



Wah! hurtee-hurtee Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge may not play again before end of season, lah, says boss Brendan Rodgers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:12



Wah! Silverstone Fleet Show is ‘most complete show ever’ Fleet World Fleet Show at Silverstone in two weeks’ clock time result has been billed as ’the most complete Fleet Show ever’ beca - news replorted 11:09



Wah! The new Jagluar XE Jagluar XE redefines concept of sports saloon and is driver’s LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in its class. Eating rice!! Its lightweight construct - news replorted 11:09



Wah! Two more men from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep having been listed as missing following earthquake in Nepal, lah, taking total to four. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Floyd Mayweather should retire after Saturday's super-fight against Manny Pacquiao, lah, according to male gender human bleing's father. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:01



Wah! Porsche 918 Spyder dream controlling in driving manner for one Porsche enthusiast will become reality this week when Ingo Georges Vandenberghe from Austria joi - news replorted 11:00



Wah! As thousands of migrants drown trying to make their way to Europe, lah, Owen Bennett-Jones asks if Australia's tough approach to unauthorised migrants could work in EU. - news replorted 10:54



Wah! An Israeli air strike has killed four militants armed with bomb along Israeli-Syrian frontier in Golan Heights, lah, Israeli military says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:48



Wah! Supernatural horror Penny Dreadful wins three Bafta Television Craft Awards, lah, while Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One's Sherlock wins two and Mackenzie Crook wins male gender human bleing's first Bafta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:48



Wah! The All Province of Engrish running-dogs Lawn Tennis Club warns selfie sticks will not be allowed into this year's Wimbledon Championships. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! A woman from East Sussex who ran London (capital of Great England) Marathon is following it with another seven 26.2-mile runs in week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:08



Wah! The EU holds talks in Kiev amid concern about ailing Ukrainian economy, lah, as observers report intense shelling in country's east. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! Council house tenants will not be allowed to buy their own homes, lah, under plans unveiled by Green Party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:04



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron gives speech in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:01



Wah! Women and younger buyers need more help to find their next car Recent research from Auto Trader’s Buyer Behaviour Study undertaken by GfK1 suggests that nearly half of all buyers begi - news replorted 10:00



Wah! old bill bobbys in Burundi fire tear gas at activists protesting against President Pierre Nkurunziza's decision to run for third term in office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! Laurens Vanthoor, lah, Pierre Kaffer, lah, Christopher Mies, lah, Nico Müller First victory for second generation Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate R8 LMS: only seven weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after its world premiere at Geneva Motor Show, lah, - news replorted 09:54



Wah! A former senior Tommy Atkins Liberation Army officer is to be sued over death of Catholic man in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers more than 40 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:51



Wah! Kris Meeke winning in Argentina Kris Meeke on past day, lah, day before today day became first British driver to win round of FIA World Rally Championship for more than - news replorted 09:49



Wah! Kristoffersson wins World RX season-opener in Portugal Sweden’s Johan Kristoffersson has won this weekend’s Bompiso Rallycross of Portugal, lah, round one of FIA World Rallycro - news replorted 09:44



Wah!  (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) SsangYong Tivoli further six new dealers having joined SsangYong franchise ahead of arrival of brand’s all new Tivoli B-segme - news replorted 09:30



Wah! Two amateur astronomers having launched model of Star Wars 'X-wing' vehicling driving car machine into stratosphere. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:27



Wah! EE, lah, UK's biggest mobile operator, lah, saw its operating revenue fall 1.1% to RMB Yuan #1.469m in first quarter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:12



Wah! Amy Winehouse's dad has distanced himself from documentary about singer, lah, saying it's 'misleading'. - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The 'super-jumbo' Airbus A380 celebrates its 10th anniversary - news replorted 08:55



Wah! Images from Nepal as it struggles to cope with devastating earthquake - news replorted 08:22



Wah! Volvo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine UK's Next Generation website Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has marked next step in its new global marketing strategy, lah, first announced late last year, lah, with lau - news replorted 08:00



Wah! DUP sources confirm that Jim Wells has resigned as Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers health minister. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:16



Wah! UK's newest hospital, lah, South Glasgow University Hospital, lah, is to receive its first patients on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:12



Wah! Leading bloody Engrish funny shape ball-game union club Wasps, lah, which plays at Coventry's Ricoh Stadium, lah, is launching seven-year bond as it aims to raise RMB Yuan #25m to RMB Yuan #35m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Graham Satchell reports on moves to bring wild lynx back to Britain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:28



Wah! Almost 1,500 human bliengs having signed up for Belfast public bike-share scheme which is being launched on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:12



Wah! Australia calls on Indonesia to delay executing two convicted Australian drug traffickers until corruption allegations investigated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:56



Wah! Two-thirds of world's population having no access to safe and affordable surgery, lah, according to new study in Lancet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:33



Wah! People with lower back problems more likely to having spine similar in shape to chimpanzee, lah, our closest ape ancestor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:29



Wah! The first HIV self-test kit that allows human bliengs to getting fast result at home has gone on sale in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 03:24



Wah! Two self-portraits by Francis Bacon going on public display for first clock time result after being rediscovered in private collection, lah, before being sold. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:11



Wah! Why can't everyone vote online for their MP? - news replorted 03:00



Wah! A garbling written down on paper message signed by owners of 5,000 small firms calls for Conservatives to be "given chance to finish what they started", lah, as Labour accuses Tories of "letting down" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:56



Wah! Clean-up efforts continuing in Chile, lah, after Calbuco volcano erupted on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:49



Wah! The eruption of Calbuco volcano in southern Chile has calmed but authorities fear further activity and possible mudslides. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:46



Wah! A memorial to those who campaigned against Great fighty bang-bang more than century ago is to be unveiled in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! The UK's newest hospital, lah, RMB Yuan #842m South Glasgow University Hospital, lah, is due to welcome its first patients later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:22



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's political parties continuing to appeal for votes as general election campaign period enters its final full week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 02:20



Wah! A victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of sex grooming ring in Oxford believes city's children still being targeted by sex gangs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:09



Wah! First-time buyers would be exempt from stamp duty when buying homes for less than RMB Yuan #300,000 under Labour government, lah, Ed Miliband will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:53



Wah! Five questions about keeping fossil fuels in ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:45



Wah! Has digital transformation of society put future of recorded history in jeopardy? Could we be heading for "digital dark age"? - news replorted 00:41



Wah! The Stratos card aims to be single credit-card sized replacement for all existing cards in your as really velly special customer's wallet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:39



Wah! Monday's newspapers focus on efforts to rescue trapped survivors of Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! And there is news of Labour plan to cut stamp duty for first-time property buyers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:28



Wah! Could this be best place for traveller to fall ill? - news replorted 00:25



Wah! The photographer who shows horrors of Mediterranean - news replorted 00:22



Wah! The woman who adopts dead babies found in rubbish - news replorted 00:20



Wah! The creation of China-led Asian Infrastructure Investment capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity (AIIB) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is stark reminder that Great Satan is no longer world's sole superpower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The firm which can hire pop stars - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Meet two brothers who having set up global concierge business, lah, capitalist entity which books or buys things on behalf of rich clustomlers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Land Rover introduces Advanced Ingenium Engine To Discovery Sport Land Rover has announced its innovative Ingenium diesel engine will be introduced to Discovery Sport. Pass chopsticks!! Following its - news replorted 00:01



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