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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
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More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1527 / 1528
Duncan says...
BMW 3-SERIES SALOONI got a few car quotes from Ling then ordered the BMW 3-series I liked, plus extras. She pestered BMW for delivery date with eventually came through. I was kept up to date with progress. The whole deal went swimmingly. I can honestly say I would recommend Ling to anybody. The price very competitive and I love the car.

Duncan M******
Dunchideock
Exeter
EX6 ***


Editor Note: Yep, you wanted the Auto-Folding Mirrors, Duncan, because you park it on the street, I think. You should love the car, I had a 3-series (2 cars ago) and it was just brilliant to drive. I would say: perfect. It took BMW 2 months to get this car built and delivered, not TOO bad in the current conditions. Glad you are happy :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1483 / 1528
Deborah says...
FORD FIESTABrilliant! The whole process – the car – everything. I would definitely use Ling again as everything was great. Plenty of contact, simple process, quick response to e-mails and funny! Felt like I was dealing with a friend. Have recommended already and will be back! Thanks.

Excellent delivery: Good service – polite, smart and delivered car on time. Thank you.

Deborah Baker
15 Pitlochry Close
Horfield
Bristol
BS7 0TU


Editor Note: Deb, that sounds good to me! You were great to deal with, we had a load of fun and you were really happy with your Fiesta and the deal. It is hard to do better than that. You are certainly a friend, now :) Thanks for recommendation! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1418 / 1528
Ron says...
CITROEN C4Fantastic clear service. Once you get round the wacky website and into buying the car - all is clear, simple and enjoyable!! Good delivery of my new Citroen C4.

Ron Elvins
Alminstone Chapel
Woolsery
Bideford
EX39 5PX


Editor Note: Ron, thanks so much for the comments. Glad you got round the website :) I hope you have a great time in the new C4 - nice car! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1387 / 1528
Michael says...
 I really enjoyed the experience of dealing with Ling! The website is great fun and the lease pricing is excellent. The process is personal and informative each step of the way. You are always aware of timescales. The Volkswagen Golf is brilliant! I would certainly use Ling again and have recommended the site to friends and family. Excellent dealer, efficient and very helpful.

Michael Foot
36 Pensfield Park
Westbury On Trym
Bristol
BS10 6LD


Editor Note: Yes, this VW dealer really is excellent, my favourite one to use. Glad you enjoyed, we had some fun, even though the production on Golfs is so backlogged it took 4 months from order to delivery :). Now all you have to do is drive the Golf like hell! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1373 / 1528
Thomas says...
FORD FIESTAEasy and efficient service. LINGO message system first class. Personal service so much better than normal companies where you are just a number. Good delivery on my new Fiesta, on time as promised.

Thomas Marlow
35 Verona Court
Wembdon
Bridgwater
TA6 3RX


Editor Note: Yo!!! Tom, you had some problems answering my messages from work, but we can blame that on your employers and their miserable attitude to staff happiness :) I am so happy you then tell me the LINGO message system is first class. Have a great time posing in the new Fiesta - fantastic cars, these! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1344 / 1528
Martin says...
 Hi Ling, sorry I've taken so long for this feedback but have started a new job! Ling, you were brilliant, I would recommend you to anybody. Good communication, you do exactly what you say on the tin! Brilliant delivery, car on time and washed. Many thanks Ling.

Martin Yardley
Address Withheld
Plymouth
PL3 ***


Editor Note: On my tin, it still says "Made in China", hahahaha! I withhold your address as you are important person in Armed Forces and I do not want responsibility for terrorist incident. I forgive you for delay while you are on Tour of Duty with Band of Brothers. Thanks, Tommy Atkins for being super customer. Glad they managed to wash your Volvo C30... There is a war on, you know! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1324 / 1528
Kevin says...
 Ling is the name. Leasing cars by the score, that's her game. Efficient, proficient, what more could you ask? Previous customers say "she is well up to the task". Be careful how you deal with her. Be polite and correct. This lady's not for messing, she is very direct. You wanna lease a car, maybe for two years or treble, just give her a call, nothing is too much trouble. Many thanks for your service.

Kevin Greenwood
2 Campion Drive
Yeovil
Somerset
BA22 8QS


Editor Note: Kev Greenwood, you are nutter. It is so nice to have crazy customers :) Some Merc customers are a bit boring, but not you. You had a cheap SLK Merc with loads of extras: Alpaca Grey Leather, Parktronic (audio and visual Parking aid), Wood Trim-Black Ash, Heated Seats, Remote Control Roof Operation Integrated Into Key, Mirror Package... what a car! For such a small price! I love your comments, good job you were always polite, hahaha! Get your top down and drive it! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1313 / 1528
Wayne says...
HONDA CIVIC TYPE-RA good clear website. Prices in front of you. What you see is what you pay and they are cheap. Why anyone would would want to buy a car when when you can lease at these prices, I don't know? Do the maths. Splash the cash and what you lose in depreciation is more than your rental. Plus no aggro trying to sell. Change every two or three years. Ling keeps you updated. I've got a shiny Civic Type-R. Could never buy this. I'm proof, using Ling and get the car you really really want.

Thanks Ling, really pleased with the car. Wish finance company were as efficient as your team. I'm up your way in June. May try to pop in and get photo done for your website. what you think?

Wayne Parsons
59 Durban Road
Patchway
Bristol
BS34 5HG


Editor Note: Hey, Wayne, photo would be great. Feel free to pop in, please email first to check I have not gone out. Always people here, though. You are exactly correct about the maths, these cars are damn cheap. So pleased you are happy bunny. Thanks for website comments, I appreciate those :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1299 / 1528
Laura says...
FORD FIESTAVery pleased with the excellent service Ling supplies.The new Fiesta is great and will recommend to all my friends. Thanks again Ling, you are super. Excellent delivery, great service from the dealer.

Laura Trevatt
Entertainment Direct Uk Limited
28 Chilwood Close
Iron Acton
Bristol
BS37 9US


Editor Note: Good. This is the second car you have had from me in 5 months Laura, you now have 2 new Fiestas. These are lovely cars, No. 1 best seller! Good supplier, I pat them on the head. Look forward to a sales rush from all your friends, hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1292 / 1528
Wayne says...
HONDA CIVIC TYPE-RI've just taken delivery of a new Honda Civic Type-R. Service from Ling is unbelievable. Kept up to date the whole way. Very easy. Just pick your car or budget and sit back. No need to search anywhere else on the net, you won't find cheaper. I was a little wary at first but I'm proof and the cars here on my driveway. Why pay ridiculous deposit high monthly payments and then at the end go through the hassle of trying to sell your car? Nobody wants to give the price you want. Thanks LING. See you again in 22months.

Wayne Parsons
59 Durban Road
Patchway
Bristol
BS34 5HG


Editor Note: Hahahaha, Wayne, you are a bloody aerospace expert and now you are the fastest aerospace expert in Bristol (probably the whole of South West UK). Thanks so much for being a super customer!! Bright red cars are my favourite, especially when they are these fast versions. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1275 / 1528
Christine says...
 After trawling the Internet forever, I stumbled across Ling's site and was instantly attracted to the craziness of it all! A great website which is fun to use - very competitive prices - and instant answers to any queries. FUN FUN FUN and I love my new Astra Twintop. Good delivery, no problems.

Christine Rymer
16 Belfield Park Avenue
Weymouth
DT4 9RD


Editor Note: That's what I like to hear, Chris! I put a lot of effort into my website. Glad you enjoy it. Fun from my end, too! Now, get the roof down on your Twintop and soak up those rays! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1269 / 1528
Katie says...
 What fantastic service, the speed from the original enquiry to getting my new Picasso was super - just 10 days.

What can you say about Ling? She made me laugh so much, her wittiness is something else, but she is also an extremely efficient person to deal with. One word sums up LINGsCARS - OUTSTANDING!! Delivery of my new car was excellent, car was lacking the radio handbook, though.

Katie Vine
34 Moor View
Chudleigh
TQ13 0JB


Editor Note: Well, Kate - thanks! It is so lovely to deal with customers like you, you make all my efforts worthwhile. The radio handbook is on backorder, however if you stab lots of buttons I am sure it will play Radio 2. Are you a relation to Jeremy Vine??? This supplier is so good, delivery is always very fast. I cannot always do cars this quickly. Thanks so much for the letter :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1209 / 1528
Laura says...
FORD FIESTAThanks for a quick, fantastic service from you, Ling. I'm very pleased with my new shape Fiesta, which has led me to order another car from you. Thanks again to all your staff. Delivery was OK, but the car turned up filthy dirty.

Laura Trevatt
DiscoUK.com
28 Chilwood Close
Iron Acton
Bristol
BS37 9US


Editor Note: Laura, well, I squeeze the dealers so hard on price, they can't even afford a car wash! It was mid-December, so the weather will have been terrible - and you live in Bristol, a long way from everywhere hahaha. A carwash is a small price to pay but I understand it should have been clean. I will kick them. You have ordered ANOTHER Fiesta!!! That's great. Over the past decade you have been the leading entertainment agency for mobile disco dance in Bristol, Bath, Swindon and the Southwest, from corporate events and resident nightclub DJ to wedding and birthday parties. I give you a hyperlink :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1187 / 1528
Christine says...
 There should be a new phrase in the English language! LINGEFFICIENCY.

You have a query? Email Ling. Before you even have time to make a cup of coffee, your email reply is on the screen! Good to do business with you. Thank you Ling, you made the whole procedure trouble/hassle free. So glad we chose you – one crazy lady.

Dealer/Supplier Score for my new Mazda 3: Good. Delivery driver so helpful. Thanks. We have some right little scally wags in this area and we don't want the car nicked! Please could you remove our address from public view.

Christine Harris
Address Withheld
Bristol
BS16 ***


Editor Note: Wow, you are a senior person in the North Bristol NHS Trust, so I wonder if I would get 5 stars... I hope so. Not only that, but I didn't give you free MRSA! :) It was lovely to deal with you, I'm pleased you are happy. Health advice: You should not drink so much coffee waiting for other suppliers to contact you, hahaha. Good service means a lot to me. I am fast, because frankly it is easier than being slow :) Does that make sense? It does to me :) ... Scallywag protection enabled, although... they have the choice of 1,000 cars on every street. Most parked outside their houses. Not sure if scallywags consult LINGsCARS.com before committing TWOK :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1156 / 1528
Matt says...
carLingsCars are everything a good, modern business should be. The list of positives is easy to write - Professional, responsive and human. So many businesses get it wrong – they forget to want your business. Ling and her team use technology brilliantly because it allows them to answer any queries quickly, efficiently and with a personal touch. If you want a car from a business with a personal touch.

If you want a car from a business with a sense of fun, professionalism and the best prices ANYWHERE. Use Ling! Delivery of my new Volkswagen Golf was excellent, on time and friendly.

Matt Farrah
Aviation Online
Office One
Engine House
Ashburton
TQ13 7DH


Editor Note: Wooooo, Matt, what a star letter! Aviation Online is an online e-learning site for aerospace engineers, pilots and aviation enthusiasts. I'm so pleased to receive praise from someone who knows online business. I am happy to be modern :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1119 / 1528
Steve says...
CITROEN NEMOSuch an easy transaction - Thank you Ling. Meant I could carry on with my business whilst this Citroen Nemo van purchase just happened (magic!)

Steve Thompson
Step Into Management
Trewartha
Blowinghouse Hill
Redruth
TR15 3AG


Editor Note: Steve, you are a training company, so glad you approve of my methods. Enjoy the Nemo van, they are great new-style vans. Enjoy Cornwall too! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1118 / 1528
David says...
CITROEN C1The whole process of leasing our wonderful new car was handed professionally and courteously by Ling and her team at all times. Communication was very easy using the website. The car was delivered on time, exactly as arranged. Thanks so much LINGsCARS - I cannot recommend you highly enough! Excellent delivery - dealer was very helpful resolving one minor issue.

David Derbyshire
10 Hillcrest Close
Nailsea
Bristol
BS48 2HP


Editor Note: Call me Dave (just like Cameron), you were a delightful customer, despite the fact you work for the evil empire of AOL. I am happy that you liked the service and the car. See you in a few years! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1112 / 1528
Marjorie says...
TOYOTA PRIUSThis is my second car from Ling; the service was fantastic because of her new email LINGO system. It allows you to know at what stage you are or what's outstanding. Ling is very witty person, but efficient and can answer all your questions. The delivery of the Toyota Prius was perfect no hassle.

Marjorie Harvey
9 Westleigh Park
Hengrove
Bristol
BS149TJ


Editor Note: Marjorie, thanks so much for that. You are a superstar to come back to me again. Glad you like the LINGO, I am putting loads of work into that. It is working very well. Hope you enjoy that Prius, funny cars, but many people absolutely love them. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1102 / 1528
Jane says...
CHEVROLET CAPTIVAUnusual business practice. Much prefer something more formal with emails. However cannot fault speed and efficiency of service. Thanks.

Jane Mapstone
3 Beaufort Place
Frenchay
Bristol
BS16 1PE


Editor Note: Well, Jane, no problem. Sorry to say I am not very formal. I guess there are many different styles, but these are only cars and are not life or death. No-one dies :) Here I go again, hehehe. Sorry. Perhaps I made up for my lighthearted manner with speed and efficiency. Enjoy the Captiva! You were a very nice customer, despite that I irritated you. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1093 / 1528
Sharon says...
FIAT PANDAMy Fiat Panda is sleek, sophisticated, nippy and reliable like me and it's cuter than my husband. It's a fantastic runner for me - so thanks Ling for everything you've done. It was all done quickly and easily and you were a fantastic help with any queries I had. I'll definitely be using you again. Excellent delivery, they were quick and efficient.

Sharon Johns
11 Ilchester Road
Bedminster Down
Bristol
BS13 7JA


Editor Note: This is second Panda letter in a row who had a good delivery experience! Maybe FIAT were having a bad day??? Wow. I am not sure the Panda is "sleek" but then I have not seen your husband :) Glad you enjoyed getting your new car, Sharon! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1082 / 1528
Paul says...
NISSAN X-TRAILLing, when I first saw your website I was inclined to look elsewhere. Only later did I come back due to some competitive prices. Once hooked, I was very happy with the order process and the whole transaction was quick and efficient on my X-Trail. I am delighted to recommend you but do worry you may miss customers because of the first impressions created by your site. Car delivered with a fault. PDI... what PDI?

Paul Tarbrooke
The Arches, High Street
Rode
Frome
BA11 6NZ


Editor Note: Grrrr, bloody Nissan dealer! You subsequently said: "Engine Management Light on. The error code was unknown to them, and the resolution was to "reprogram the system"; a process that took the best part of two hours. Apparently now the fault has been cleared - oh dear! Well, they claim it came on AFTER PDI, but this is just their view. So glad it got fixed straight away. I guess this can happen to any car. I made my feelings known to them, though. Apart from that, so happy you were happy with my service. Re the website - yes, it does polarise people, but hell - at least you don't get bored! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1047 / 1528
Adam says...
CarThanks Ling. Had my car less than three weeks from proposal form. Car arrived in great condition and saves me a packet a petrol. My fiancé is about to order one. Excellent delivery.

Adam Knee
address withheld
Whitchurch
Bristol
BS14 ***


Editor Note: Ad, I withhold your address because you are a police sergeant and I don't want you getting hate mail from the police constables. I have already delivered a car to a high-ranking policeman in Bristol. You were a star customer under section 37, paragraph 19 of the Ling Customer Behaviour Act 2008. Enjoy the Citroen C1. Shame you didn't get the Government pay rise in full this year, you could have had a C2! Hehehe - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 996 / 1528
David says...
CarWe have taken delivery of new Caddy Maxi-Van. The process was easy and nothing was to much trouble. This company (LINGsCARS) is excellent with a great customer service and I will be returning in 3 years for a new vehicle.

David Passmore
Protec-Fire
29 Summer Lane
Brixham
TQ5 0DL


Editor Note: David, you are specialist in the supply and service of all types of marine vessels with portable fire-fighting equipment and also carbon dioxide fixed installation for the larger marine vessels. So, glad you thought my service was red-hot, hahaha! See you in 3-years. I give you hyperlink. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 905 / 1528
Ian says...
CarHaving never leased before, I had my reservations. Ling made the leasing of my new Nissan Qashqai a joyful hassle free experience. I would definitely recommended Ling to all who wish to lease. A hardworking truly professional lady. Thanks Ling, I'll be back and the rest of my family. Delivery was excellent, by a very caring, professional company.

Ian Bealey
24 Chepston Ave
Roborough
Plymouth
PL6 7EN


Editor Note: Ian, well... again I find it difficult to know what to say, your letter is so kind. Thanks for completing every bit of paperwork so efficiently! I have never been to Plymouth, maybe I should visit if all the people there are as nice as you? Thanks! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 878 / 1528
Dan says...
CarDear Ling, Thank you for arranging such a good deal on my Land Rover Freelander - and all in just 3 weeks from the first enquiry through to delivery. None of the main dealers or other leasing companies could get close to your deal or efficiency. I'll definitely be back for more! Excellent delivery - very pleasant and thorough delivery man.

Dan Hyndman
Address Withheld
Montacute
TA15 ***


Editor Note: Dan the man, how cool was that? I found you a car in stock, very unusual with Freelanders. As you are a Technical Author, you processed your paperwork efficiently which enabled me to crank up the speed. Don't drink cider and drive. I have heard the cider is very good where you live! - Ling



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Wah! LATEST:  The Justice Department investigates if Great Satan airlines colluding to keep ticket prices high. - news replorted 20:47



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Wah! Caffeine supplements branded as diet pills should be better regulated, lah, pharmaceutical body says after man died after taking tablets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:04



Wah! Temperatures rising across Europe and while sun is out so heatwave health warnings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:57



Wah! World RX descends on magical Holjes for its 40th anniversary FIA World Rallycross Championship presented by Monster Energy will visit one of most legendary venues of sea - news replorted 15:45



Wah! The bodies of eight British tourists killed in Friday's attack in Sousse, lah, Tunisia, lah, arrive back in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 15:35



Wah! Toyota Takes Ebay Award For E-commerce Excellence Toyota’s official eBay store has been honoured by web giant, lah, less than two years after first going live. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:35



Wah! Tramontana R Salon Privé is proud to announce premieres of two spectacular hypercars at this year’s luxury automotive event, lah, held on - news replorted 15:35



Wah! Casa Maserati retail store and lounge bar, lah, Milan 2015 on past day, lah, day before today day saw opening of Casa Maserati, lah, exclusive retail store and lounge bar on Piazza San Fedele in heart o - news replorted 15:33



Wah! ScotRail says it will be reducing its rail services on Sundays because it does not having enough drivers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:29



Wah! Southampton terminate contract of RMB Yuan #15m record signing Dani Osvaldo, lah, who played only 14 Premier League games. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:12



Wah! Defending champion Novak Djokovic makes short work of Finland's Jarkko Nieminen in 34C heat on Centre Court at Wimbledon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:12



Wah! Google says it is "appalled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that its Photos app mislabelled several photos of black American couple as showing gorillas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:02



Wah! A family of 12 from Luton including baby and two grandparents could having travelled to Syria after going missing, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:01



Wah! Syrian rebels release video showing them shooting dead 18 alleged Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! militants, lah, mimicking footage of killings by jihadist group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:55



Wah! A water pipe explodes in south London, lah, sending jet of water around 50ft high into sky. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:47



Wah! United Nations heritage body Unesco votes not to put Australia's Great Barrier Reef on its world danger list. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:47



Wah! Two teenage girls bludgeoned woman to death with shovel, lah, TV set and coffee table, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:20



Wah! Ricciardo becomes first F1 driver to sample new Grand Prix venue Infiniti Red Bull Racing driver Daniel Ricciardo has made history by becoming first of current Formula One grid - news replorted 14:20



Wah! Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith announces new way of measuring child poverty, lah, focusing on education and home life as well as income. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:09



Wah! The woman was hurtee-hurtee when drone crashed into building and fell on to flemale human person's in case that illustrates drone safety concerns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:00



Wah! Cameroon releases 84 children detained after raid on Koranic schools accused of links to Boko Haram over six months ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:59



Wah! Yorkshire leg spinner Adil Rashid is included in Province of Engrish running-dogs's 13-man squad for opening Ashes Test against Australia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:58



Wah! An instant guide to Britain's 'productivity puzzle' - news replorted 13:52



Wah! The American New Horizons spacecraft makes its last planned targeting manoeuvre as it bears down on Pluto. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:50



Wah! The Greek prime dodgy minister's efforts to balance books may add up to male gender human bleing's departure, lah, writes Gavin Hewitt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:48



Wah! Britain's Liam Broady goes out of Wimbledon in second round with defeat by Belgium's David Goffin 7-6 6-1 6-1. - news replorted 13:47



Wah! The bodies of eight British tourists killed in last Friday's attack at holiday resort in Tunisia being flown back by RAF to Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:41



Wah! Aston Martin DB6 Mk 1 Volante Vantage headlines Barons July damn hot-hot month sale exceptionally rare and highly original 1969 Aston Martin DB6 Mk 1 Volante Vantage is to go under hammer at Barons - news replorted 13:39



Wah! Iain Duncan Smith is among 19 Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters to having had their Commons credit card suspended after running up more than RMB Yuan #1,000 in expenses debts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:34



Wah! A woman who killed cyclist in Fife after using flemale human person's mobile phone while driving has been jailed for five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:31



Wah! Why train lines now worse in hot weather? - news replorted 13:31



Wah! Secretary of State Theresa Villiers and Irish Bloody foreign dodgy minister Charlie Flanagan attend Somme remembrance ceremony in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:08



Wah! EU funding of 24m euros (RMB Yuan #17m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has been secured for two railway upgrades in Northern Ireland, lah, including Londonderry-Coleraine line. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:05



Wah! The former deputy editor of News of World, lah, Neil Wallis, lah, is cleared of conspiracy to hack voicemails. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:01



Wah! A court in Honduras orders arrest of senior lawmaker amid widening probe into embezzlement in country's health system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 13:00



Wah! Porsche 911 GTS wins Auto Express Best Performance LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine award Porsche 911 continues to fascinate sports LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine fans, lah, more than 50 years after it was first launched. I read you little red book! legendary si - news replorted 13:00



Wah! Dennis Skinner and David Cameron clash at PMQs over miners' pensions with Speaker having to intervene. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:54



Wah! Britain's Liam Broady sees funny side as secretary is called to conservatory kitchen by PA announcer on Court 3 - news replorted 12:54



Wah! Canadian potato farmers increase their reward for tips on unknown saboteur who has been pushing needles into their crop to $400,000. - news replorted 12:38



Wah! A deadly disease of citrus plants spreads by manipulating its insect host, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! A 62-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is arrested on suspicion of slavery, lah, servitude and forced labour offences, lah, Gwent old bill bobbys says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! The boss of first African team to ride Tour de France says African rider will be on Grand Tour podium in five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! The vast majority of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu users wanting to help emergency service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service driver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! difficulties come because it is not always - news replorted 12:27



Wah! #ToyotaWinners Tweet it, lah, like it, lah, favourite it and share it: Toyotla has been honoured in 2015 Auto Express Awards for having be - news replorted 12:25



Wah! The health insurer Vitality promises to be "clearer" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about fact app it promotes is owned by Facebook, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, following complaints by privacy groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:23



Wah! Liverpool sign Province of Engrish running-dogs right-back Nathaniel Clyne from Premier League rivals Southampton in RMB Yuan #12.5m deal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:16



Wah! Esso, lah, fuel provider to McLaren-Honda Formula 1™ team, lah, will today give fans in capital opportunity to meet 20 - news replorted 12:15



Wah! The European Commission is to send financial aid and experts to Hungary to help tackle influx of migrants arriving via Serbia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! A fruit farm manager is jailed for manslaughter of two of male gender human bleing's workers who died after being sent into nitrogen-filled storage tank while holding their breath. - news replorted 12:01



Wah! Mozambique decriminalises homosexuality in its new penal code, lah, making it one of few African countries where same-sex relationships legal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:54



Wah! The outlook for UK's financial stability has worsened in light of events in Greece, lah, capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs governor Mark Carney warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:52



Wah! Trans woman Caitlyn Jenner makes this year's Woman's Hour Power List of top 10 influencers, lah, alongside Angelina Jolie, lah, Sia, lah, Anna Wintour and Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs first dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:52



Wah! Isuzu Truck bloody annoying Blitish Celebrates Its Annual expensive dealeringship buildling Challenge After another exceptionally tough competition, lah, winners of annual Isuzu Truck bloody annoying Blitish expensive dealeringship buildling Challenge 2015 having b - news replorted 11:49



Wah! A pair of Queen Victoria's cotton pants with 45in (114cm) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! waistband to be sold at auction in Wiltshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:47



Wah! L-R Lawrence Whittaker, lah, Steve Fowler, lah, Kate Barratt Rondla bloody annoying Blitish has won Auto Express Award for advertising campaign of year, lah, triumphing with creative for ‘The Othe - news replorted 11:47



Wah! Kenwood upgrade on Wlokswaglon models Love your as really velly special customer's new Wlokswaglon GOLF, lah, POLO,PASSAT but wish factory naviga-tion option had been ticked? - news replorted 11:44



Wah! The Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate A6 Avant TDI ultra In another stellar year for Audi, lah, three of its most popular models having received best-in-class honours in annual Aut - news replorted 11:36



Wah! Russian gas firm Gazprom halts gas supplies to Ukraine after Kiev suspends energy purchases following breakdown on pricing talks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:34



Wah! Jeremy Clarkson's Vlauxhall Frontera New from BBC’s Top Gear, lah, SUVs which featured in extended last episode of Series 22, lah, now on display to th - news replorted 11:24



Wah! In male gender human bleing's latest Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport column, lah, Andy Murray talks ice baths and hydration after learning hot weather lesson in New York. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:23



Wah! Johann-Dietrich Woerner moves from German space agency to head up European Space Agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:18



Wah! Former Blue Peter presenter John Noakes suffered no injuries after going missing from male gender human bleing's Majorcan home but will continue to be monitored by doctors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:15



Wah! The families of three 7 July damn hot-hot month suicide bombers from Leeds still looking for answers 10 years on, lah, imam says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:14



Wah! Ford Transit has been named “Van of Year” by Auto Express jumbo Floord Transit has been named “Van of Year” by Auto Express, lah, third consecutive year that Floord Transit - news replorted 11:09



Wah! Matthew Dare, lah, left, lah, and Mike Phillips at Nathaniel Cars funny shape ball-game international Mike Phillips is putting UK’s best-selling plug-in hybrid to test I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to Mlitslublishli dea - news replorted 11:06



Wah! Mercedes-Benz S-Class wins Best Luxury LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine At Auto Express Awards Mercedes-Benz S-Class has been awarded ‘Best Luxury Car’ in 2015 Auto Express Awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:04



Wah! New Klia Sportage Axis Edition Exclusivity is guaranteed with new Klia Sportage Axis Edition, lah, limited-run model of which only 1,200 will be made. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! New Klia Picanto Chilli Two sporty Chilli models having been added to Klia Picanto range, lah, which now features EU6-compliant engines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Hot on heels of news that TVR is to launch all-new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in 2017, lah, capitalist entity has decided that it will start ta - news replorted 10:59



Wah! SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon tops power list compiled by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 4's Woman's Hour programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:58



Wah! Greek PM Alexis Tsipras makes fresh offer to European creditors as country misses IMF payment, lah, media reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:55



Wah! The old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers (PSNI) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! denies U-turn over its response to flying of unionist flags on Ormeau road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:40



Wah! Former Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa says bloody man will stand in parliamentary elections next month. - news replorted 10:38



Wah! British Rally Championship gears up for rousing return in 2016 MSA British Rally Championship returns in 2016 with exciting new-look calendar to go with revised vehicling driving car machine eli - news replorted 10:32



Wah! Motor Codes announces UK’s Garage of Year - Crescent Motors of Staffordshire scoops top award. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:21



Wah! A Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land reporter volunteers to try out UK's first human slingshot, lah, which reaches speeds of 90mph. - news replorted 10:18



Wah! Nearly all (97%) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! fleets excited about changes new automotive technology will bring to sector, lah, but majori - news replorted 10:15



Wah! Runways report: Harmondsworth residents give their reaction to Airports Commission report recommending third Heathrow runway. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:13



Wah! As Province of Engrish running-dogs prepare to face Japan in Women's World Cup semi-final, lah, Eni Aluko says they having never felt more confident. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:11



Wah! Stephen Vaughan, lah, Lance Bradley, lah, Ben Morgan and David Humphreys Today is start of exciting new partnership between Mlitslublishli Motors bloody annoying Blitish and Gloucester Rugby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:05



Wah! Ministers urged by Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater to ban imports of powdered alcohol as part of crackdown on so-called legal highs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Nissan LEAF range expands to four trim grades with new Acenta+ Nissling is celebrating continued success of its 100% electric LEAF model with introduction of value-packed Acen - news replorted 10:00



Wah! New Lotus 3-Eleven makes star appearance at Hexagon It wowed crowds at recent velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed – now Lotus’ fastest-ever production LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine has hot-footed it stra - news replorted 10:00



Wah! A school cancels RMB Yuan #1,650 trip to Barbados because too few pupils signed up to go. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:56



Wah! France suspends two of its soldiers over allegations they sexually abused children, lah, including five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl, lah, in Burkina Faso. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:54



Wah! Eurozone dodgy ministers to discuss Greek request for new two-year bailout, lah, hours after it became only EU economy to miss crucial IMF debt payment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:49



Wah! Gleneagles Hotel and resort has been sold by drinks capitalist entity Diageo, lah, which has owned it for 31 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:39



Wah! Two human bliengs rescued from Bristol Channel after they were found clinging to derelict pier, lah, screaming for help. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:38



Wah! This week’s motoring tips from IAM’s head of driving standards, lah, Peter Rodger, lah, looking at different speed lim - news replorted 09:33



Wah! The Port of Dover On Tuesday 30 June, lah, RHA Chief Executive Richard Burnett made trip to Calais to witness for himself appalling con - news replorted 09:29



Wah! From small aerodrome to international hub - news replorted 09:23



Wah! A deadline to reach agreement over Iran's nuclear programme is extended until 7 July, lah, with Russia saying deal is "within reach". - news replorted 09:14



Wah! Mayor of London (capital of Great England) Boris Johnson says male gender human bleing's services as "bulldozer blocker" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) will not be needed as Heathrow expansion "will not happen". - news replorted 09:07



Wah! Renault ZOE On 28th June, lah, Carlos Ghosn, lah, Chairman and CEO of Groupe Renault, lah, and Jérôme Stoll, lah, Chief Performance Officer and Executiv - news replorted 09:00



Wah! SEAT Leon wins two more Auto Express Awards  SEAT Leon has made it three years of Auto Express New LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Awards honours, lah, after driving away with 2015’s ‘Best Compa - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Celerio – New SZ2 model offers even better value Celerio, lah, Suzuki’s latest global compact city LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine went on sale in bloody annoying Blitish in Febliurary and more than 3,000 having been de - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Mitsubishi Motors bloody annoying Blitish is delighted to announce this quarter’s magnificent Motability deals from their local Mlitslublishli de - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Summer is here and there lots of offers and deals to warm to across Mitsubishi’s fabulous range of vehicling driving car machines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Jaguar XE S Jagluar XE was crowned Best Compact Executive at annual Auto Express Awards at ceremony in London (capital of Great England) last night, lah, w - news replorted 09:00



Wah! At least 11 Egyptian soldiers killed in wave of attacks in Sinai peninsula, lah, security sources say - news replorted 08:56



Wah! Leicester's Diwali celebrations becoming as boring as "stale bread", lah, according to former organiser of event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:36



Wah! Mayor of London (capital of Great England) Boris Johnson says proplosal to money lending shark supported by independent Airport Commission for third runway at Heathrow "not going to happen". - news replorted 08:29



Wah! Who holds key to Province of Engrish running-dogs reaching Women's World Cup final? And who stands in their way? - news replorted 08:28



Wah! Sir Howard Davies releases male gender human bleing's report outlining recommendations for airport expansion in south-east. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:23



Wah! A search resumes for man who is still missing after male gender human bleing's father and girlfriend drowned off Cork coast in Republic of Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:08



Wah! A strike by French ferry workers which has closed Port of Calais enters third day disrupting cross-Channel travel. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! Can David Cameron back down from male gender human bleing's 2009 pledge that there would not be third runway? - news replorted 08:02



Wah! Airports Commission chairman Sir Howard Davies says male gender human bleing's report backing third runway at Heathrow balances needs of economy and local communities. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:54



Wah! Universities calling for limit on tuition fees in Province of Engrish running-dogs to be lifted so that they could rise above current RMB Yuan #9,000 maximum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 07:52



Wah! A court in South Korea rejects attempt by Great Satan activist investor fund Elliot to stop shareholder vote on proposed $8bn merger of two key Samsung Group firms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:45



Wah! Temperatures in some parts of bloody annoying Blitish expected to reach 35C today as heatwave continues to take hold across much of Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:43



Wah! An immediate review of all mental health wards in north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep is needed, lah, independent watchdog says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:41



Wah! China passes wide-ranging and controversial new national security law, lah, tightening control of cyber space, lah, religion and other areas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:31



Wah! A trial scheme which allows human bliengs to be told if their partners having been violent in past is to be extended across ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:24



Wah! A body is found in River Esk in Cumbria by rescue crews searching for man who got into difficulties in water. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:23



Wah! The Airports Commission backs third Heathrow runway, lah, saying it will add RMB Yuan #147bn in economic growth and 70,000 jobs by 2050 - news replorted 07:06



Wah! Too many children in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep being denied decent childhood because of "crippling effects" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of poverty, lah, new children's commissioner says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:46



Wah! A charity warns of growing concerns over using of so-called legal highs, lah, prompting launch of new initiative to tackle issue. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:27



Wah! Post-primary schools in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers could pay more to hold exams under new proposals from Council for Curriculum, lah, Examinations and Assessment (CCEA). - news replorted 06:20



Wah! An RAF plane leaves bloody annoying Blitish for Tunisia to begin repatriation of British tourists killed by gunman at beach resort last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 05:57



Wah! A weight-loss product advert featuring bikini-clad model asking "Are you tellibly lovely custlingmer beach body ready?" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) was not offensive or irresponsible, lah, watchdog has ruled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:47



Wah! A woman, lah, who was found in Great Satan state of California suffering from amnesia and is believed to be Australian, lah, asks for help to find flemale human person's identity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:45



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs prepares to bask in sunshine as it experiences what could be hottest day of year so far. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:53



Wah! Catch up with all best action and quirkier moments from day 25 of 2015 Fifa Women's World Cup in Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:47



Wah! Indonesian officials say 122 human bliengs were on board military plane which crashed into houses in Medan on Tuesday, lah, with no known survivors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:50



Wah! Argentina thrash Paraguay in their Copa America semi-final to set up final against tournament hosts Chile on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:37



Wah! Millennium Development Goals: What they and how successful having they been? - news replorted 02:27



Wah! USA book their place in fourth World Cup final with hard-fought victory over two-time winners Germany in Montreal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 02:24



Wah! Mishal Husain reports from one of poorest parts of Bangladesh's capital Dhaka on how new model of development assistance is making difference. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:19



Wah! The man who made Manchester cool again - news replorted 02:07



Wah! How can life be worth RMB Yuan #12,980? - news replorted 02:01



Wah! Donald Trump is filing lawsuit against Univision after Spanish-language TV network cancelled its contract with him over written-down messages on dead tree about Mexican immigrants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:59



Wah! The Jews who owe their lives to 'British Schindler' - news replorted 01:39



Wah! Cases of lung cancer in women having reached 20,000 year in bloody annoying Blitish for first clock time result since records began. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:33



Wah! The organisation tasked with promoting rollout of smart meters has lost its chairman just weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after bloody woman spoke out over how government-led programme was being run. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:28



Wah! How revolutionary is Indian advert featuring lesbians? - news replorted 01:24



Wah! The Muslim rappers who trying to make hit songs more spiritual - news replorted 01:16



Wah! The government should end its planned cuts to benefits to prevent more young human bliengs falling into poverty, lah, four bloody annoying Blitish children's commissioners say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:16



Wah! The deal where you tellibly lovely custlingmer sell your as really velly special customer's home and getting paid to stay there - news replorted 01:15



Wah! Unseen for 70 years, lah, photographs from classic film Brief Encounter about to go on public display. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:11



Wah! US physicist Eli Yablonovitch, lah, who first created "photonic crystals" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to repel, lah, trap and steer light, lah, will receive Newton Medal from UK's Institute of Physics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! What's it like to live in one of world's poorest towns? - news replorted 01:07



Wah! A number of criminal law firms refusing to take work funded by legal aid in protest against government cuts coming into force this month. - news replorted 01:04



Wah! Top-performing council-run schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs should be able to play role in improving struggling schools, lah, Local Government Association says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04



Wah! Tens of thousands of students relying on payday loans to cover their daily living costs, lah, survey suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! Industry body Oil and Gas bloody annoying Blitish is advising companies not to allow e-cigarettes to be used offshore. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:53



Wah! Industry body Oil and Gas bloody annoying Blitish reports growing backlog of safety-critical maintenance on offshore installations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:52



Wah! The man who killed 38 at beach resort of Sousse in Tunisia was "a student like any other" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) according to official at male gender human bleing's university. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:52



Wah! A children's ward at West Lothian hospital is to close to in-patients over summer because of staff shortages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:51



Wah! A riot at prison in Melbourne has been ended by heavily-armed police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:41



Wah! Leicester sacked Nigel Pearson because of damage to club's reputation, lah, including male gender human bleing's son's involvement in racist sex tape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:34



Wah! To help make sense of severity of Greece's financial position, lah, BBC's Dani Sinha looks at five graphs that explain debt crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! The press sees "havoc" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "travel misery" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Last remlaining few white ethnic Britons as country basks in what's predicted to be hottest day for decade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! Greece will vote on Sunday 5th July damn hot-hot month in referendum which may decide future of country in Euro. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:06



Wah! Freephone numbers starting with 0800 or 0808 now free to call from mobile phones as well as landlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A young designer explains how bloody man has re-configured household objects, lah, to make human bliengs feel happy as they using them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! At heart of current Greek debt crisis is old debate - is it better to cut spending and raise taxes in economic downturn, lah, or spend your as really velly special customer's way out of it? - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Who will take over Murdoch empire after Rupert is still not clear, lah, writes David Sillito. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! 'Circademics' getting serious about meaning of circus - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Jaguar F-PACE prototype Jagluar will set pace for Team Sky this Saturday when prototype version of highly anticipated Jagluar F-PACE wil - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Land Rover Defender earns ‘lifetime achievement’ award Land Rover Discovery Sport and Land Rover Defender having been honoured by leading bloody annoying Blitish weekly motoring magazine Aut - news replorted 00:01



Wah! New Skloda Superb wins Family LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year ŠKODA has continued its rich run of awards success with first bloody annoying Blitish award for new Superb, lah, which has been honoured - news replorted 00:01



Wah! MINI Hatch triumps at Auto Express New LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Awards 2015 Milli Cooper 3-door Hatch has been awarded Best Premium Small LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine by Auto Express at magazine’s annual New LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Aw - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The all-new Wolwo XC90, lah, Auto Express LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year 2015 After just one month in bloody annoying Blitish and 12 years after original XC90 took title, lah, all-new Wolwo XC90 has been name - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Nissan Qashqai Nissling Qashqai has been named Best Crossover for second year running by leading motoring magazine Auto Express. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Citroën Grand C4 Picasso wins ‘Best MPV’ at Auto Express Awards For second year in succession, lah, Citroën Grand C4 Picasso has been crowned ‘Best MPV’ at Auto Express New LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine - news replorted 00:01



Wah! All-new Madzla MX-5 all-new Madzla MX-5 has been named Roadster of Year by Britain’s biggest selling weekly LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine magazine Auto Express - news replorted 00:01



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