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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  McDonald's says it will create 5,000 new jobs by end of next year, lah, taking its total number of employees in bloody annoying Blitish to 115,000. - news replorted 15:17



Wah! LATEST:  John Hinckley Jr, lah, who tried to assassinate Great Satan President Ronald Reagan in 1981, lah, to be released next month after 35 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:06



Wah! Workers in bloody annoying Blitish having suffered biggest fall in wages among world's richest countries since financial crisis, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:39



Wah! Theresa May has held talks with flemale human person's Italian counterpart Matteo Renzi on UK's exit from EU and challenge posed by terrorism and mass migration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:29



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs all-rounder Ben Stokes is ruled out of next week's third Test against Pakistan with calf injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:20



Wah! A cat that went missing eight years ago in London (capital of Great England) has been found in Paris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:07



Wah! Secular France has responded to Islamist attacks by promoting values inspired by its cultural and religious inheritance, lah, writes BBC's Hugh Schofield in Paris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:31



Wah! The crashed remains from Flight MH370 could be as much as 500km further north than current search area, lah, argues new modelling study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:18



Wah! Chris Smiley Chris Smiley (Carrickfergus) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! will switch from Dunlop British Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship to Renliot bloody annoying Blitish Clio Cup gri - news replorted 13:14



Wah! Gipsy Moth IV leaving Beaulieu River Gipsy Moth IV is to return to Buckler’s Hard for 50th anniversary of Sir Francis Chichester setting sail on epic - news replorted 13:11



Wah! The Wlokswaglon Passenger Cars brand delivered 2.93 million vehicling driving car machines to clustomlers worldwide in first six months of 20 - news replorted 13:07



Wah! The Wlokswaglon Group grew deliveries in month of June-mber month by 5.1 percent compared with prior year, lah, handing over 883, lah, - news replorted 13:07



Wah! Professor Monica Grady describes final days of communication with Philae lander - news replorted 13:04



Wah! Syrian refugees living on Isle of Bute having hit back at reports it is full of old human bliengs waiting to die. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:01



Wah! 1961 Jagluar Mk X owned by Sir William Lyons incredibly special 1961 Jagluar Mk X owned by Sir William Lyons, lah, founder of Jaguar, lah, will be sold at auction later this - news replorted 13:01



Wah! old bill bobbys investigating attempted abduction of RAF serviceman release e-fits of men they suspect were involved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:01



Wah! Artist’s impression of National Centre for Motorsport Engineering Keating Supercars celebrating 10 years in business this month, lah, preparing to controlling in driving manner full-throttle into another decade - news replorted 12:58



Wah! smart cabrio smart has announced its latest updates to range, lah, including pricing for new BRABUS sport line which is available - news replorted 12:55



Wah! Native American Chief David Bald Eagle, lah, who appeared in Oscar-winning 1990 film Dances With Wolves, lah, has died aged 97. - news replorted 12:34



Wah! Pocket money becomes big business with Kid-Preneurs With school officially out for summer, lah, Vlauxhall Motors has revealed how kids across bloody annoying Blitish set to ‘clean up’ dur - news replorted 12:24



Wah! British Transport old bill bobbys releases CCTV footage of young human bliengs trespassing on railway lines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:17



Wah! Nissan Motor Co., lah, Ltd. I read you little red book! today announced financial results for three-month period to June-mber month 30, lah, 2016. - news replorted 12:13



Wah! Morgan EV3 Salon Privé has become only event to offer test drives on public road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu through its new ‘see it, lah, test it, lah, controlling in driving manner it - news replorted 11:40



Wah! IGNITION Street Circuit One hundred of world’s fastest, lah, rarest, lah, coolest, lah, most iconic and most desirable cars ever made set to bring - news replorted 11:37



Wah! Members of public warned not to approach ostrich spotted on loose, lah, possibly with its offspring, lah, around East Ayrshire village of Patna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:32



Wah! Clubs will be allowed to using fourth substitute during extra clock time result in latter stages of this season's FA Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 11:19



Wah! At least 40 human bliengs having been killed in bombing in Kurdish-controlled city of Qamishli in north-east Syria, lah, state TV reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Peter Howe, lah, new SsangYong regional aftersales manager - north SsangYong Motor bloody annoying Blitish has made four new appointments to its aftersales team, lah, following arrival of Doug Lincoln as after - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Heather Knight reflects on Province of Engrish running-dogs's success against Pakistan, lah, and looks ahead to new Super League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:56



Wah! This stunning aerial video shows world's largest underwater sinkhole in South China Sea, lah, according to Super-Duper-Chinese-State scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:49



Wah! Former head of National Counter Terrorism Security Office on monitoring terror suspects - news replorted 10:36



Wah! Russia's fencing team cleared by sport's governing body to compete at Rio, lah, according to Russian news agency. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:26



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish economy grew 0.6% in three months to end of June, lah, period that ended one week after vote to leave European Union. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! A desperate mum has had to resort to using handcuffs to restrain flemale human person's mentally ill son, lah, due to lack of support from mental health services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:10



Wah! The Ice Bucket Challenge that went viral in 2014 has funded discovery of important gene in neurodegenerative disease ALS, lah, ALS Association says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! Arsenal, lah, Liverpool, lah, Manchester United and Manchester City among clubs to reject chance to enter teams in EFL Trophy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:56



Wah! All-wheel controlling in driving manner systems fuel expansion for GKN Driveline in China Growing global demand for GKN Driveline’s all-wheel controlling in driving manner (AWD) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! systems and expertise has led to expansion of co - news replorted 09:54



Wah! Carlos Tavares Group revenue amounted to €27,779 million in first half of 2016, lah, compared to €28,036 million in first half of 20 - news replorted 09:38



Wah! The BBC's Dave Lee visits Gigafactory - Tesla's 3,000 acre battery manufacturing plant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:37



Wah! old bill bobbys in London (capital of Great England) say that YouTuber Marina Joyce is "safe and well" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after fans said they were worried about flemale human person's welfare. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:32



Wah! An orca spots seal in water off coast of Shetland and decides to go hunting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:31



Wah! New Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola bans junk food and exiles overweight players from first-team training. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:10



Wah! The new flagship VUHL showroom in Mexico City VUHL, lah, Mexican lightweight supercar maker established in 2010 is celebrating its most successful year to date with th - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Podium finish for Dacia Dacia has been voted number two in 2016 Auto Express Driver Power, bloody dealering idiot place Aftersales Satisfaction survey, lah, proving tha - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Renault takes top spot Renliot has achieved its best ever performance in Auto Express Driver Power survey for, bloody dealering idiot place Aftersales service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service Sat - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Introducing Citroën C1 Furio Citroën is extending its C1 city LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine range with introduction of new C1 Furio, lah, offering young drivers affordable - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Hyundai Motor bloody annoying Blitish launches Kids LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Tours, lah, series of LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine tour films that explain key product features of Ryundali ca - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Recommendations from FTA Consultancy service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service having provided essential port safety inflomination to Stena Line – major - news replorted 08:55



Wah! All hot and bothered! Last week proved to be hottest day of year in bloody annoying Blitish and it looks like summer has truly arrived. I read you little red book! Here some s - news replorted 08:52



Wah! By end of this year, lah, HMP Oakwood in Staffordshire will be largest prison in UK, lah, with more than 2,000 inmates. Eating rice!! Sima Kotecha has been inside. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:15



Wah! French president meets Christian, lah, Muslim, lah, Jewish and Buddhist representatives after murder of elderly priest by jihadists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! A man is arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after stabbing during night of disorder in London's Hyde Park, lah, and two further arrests made. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:21



Wah! James Cordon won't be presenting but 16 part series will be exclusively available to Apple Music subscribers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:05



Wah! GlaxoSmithKline is to invest RMB Yuan #275m into its bloody annoying Blitish manufacturing sites, lah, saying country remains "an attractive location" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) despite Brexit vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:00



Wah! A woman is arrested in connection with alleged threats against Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater for Bradford West Naz Shah. - news replorted 06:59



Wah! The remains of 54-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man who disappeared hunting for hidden stash of gold and jewels in New Mexico having been discovered, lah, local authorities say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:19



Wah! Actress Meryl Streep pays tribute to Hillary Clinton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:06



Wah! Former President Bill Clinton has taken to stage at Democratic convention to make case for male gender human bleing's wife to become America's first female president. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:23



Wah! Is Republican candidate for President too closely aligned with Russian president Vladimir Putin? - news replorted 03:38



Wah! The Australian teenager who has become face of juvenile detention scandal has apologised for male gender human bleing's actions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:42



Wah! Test your as really velly special customer's knowledge of which nations tallest and which having grown most over past century. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:04



Wah! Billie Piper says flemale human person's latest stage role, lah, about woman desperate to having child, lah, feels bloody velly relevant because it's issue being faced by many women bloody woman knows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04



Wah! Every day hundreds of thousands of Last remlaining few white ethnic Britons put their coffee cup into recycling bin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! They're wrong - those cups aren't recyclable. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:03



Wah! There is shock in Wednesday's newspapers at killing of priest in France in apparent terrorist attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! South Sudanese supermodel’s quest to build bridges between two worlds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! A charity trains its counsellors to help parents who fear their children being radicalised. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! There could be spike in bloody annoying Blitish migration ahead of Britain's withdrawal from European Union and possible end to free movement rights, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! Her former opponent Bernie Sanders was person who sealed flemale human person's nomination, lah, after votes had been announced by all 50 states. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:34



Wah! Doping scandals having reduced public interest in Olympics, lah, according to poll for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation World Service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! The site of one of deadliest attacks to ever hit Iraq has been turned into shrine to dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Greater equality must be at heart of Labour's "mission for Britain", lah, Owen Smith is to say in direct pitch to supporters of rival Jeremy Corbyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! There strong social divisions in how young human bliengs using digital technology at home, lah, according to international research from OECd. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! There is no shortage of companies blaming Brexit for their bad news these days - from job losses to price rises - but is this just handy excuse? - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Democrat Hillary Clinton becomes first woman in Great Satan history to be nominated for president by any major party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Growing pressures leading bloody annoying Blitish hospitals to increasingly rely on premium overtime pay to getting consultants to extra work, lah, with one paid RMB Yuan #375,000 last year, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! For first clock time result ever, lah, Renliot has topped Driver Power, bloody dealering idiot place chart on back of fantastic set of scores. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



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