Show FAQ
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
Want a cheap
new lease car?

Start HERE!

Cheapest Car Leasing CHAT
My Customer Letters!
My Fun Pages!
Read All About Me!
Note: I live inside this website Monday to Friday 9am-6pm, to give you the very best service and make your experience a happy one! - I am Ling, accept no substitutes
Car LeasingCar Leasing
Vote for your favourite motorway sign message!
Version 237.1.
You can trust me! ... In 2014 I'll rent over £75 million of cars (at RRP)!


Cars and Vans
How It Works
Price Lists
About Ling
 Fun Stuff
Quote/ Order
Quiz Ling's Movies Chinese Car Websites Free Cash Apply Noodle Apply Werthers My Bus
Speed Cameras Chop Gear Mongol Rally UK Rallycross LingTube Website Advice Website Article
Car Flu Car Websites Google Censorship Missle Truck Top 10 Car Ads Suspension Movie Personal Plates Motoring Law Help Chinese Vote Now! World Cup 2006 Burma Pledge Hangman BBC News Monetise Twitter iPad vs iLing SuperMondays MOT Game Bottom Trumps FREE Ling Badge Halloween Cars First Aid
Top Matrix Sign Messages Karaoke Madness Stupid Crash Game


The twitter pigeon is loading "LINGsCARS"
LIVE + KICKING twitter feed... WAIT!

Intro Film News Blog Office TV Contact Moan Links Play Quiz Privacy Policy Google Visitors
Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
Food --->
Google Spider Food

View LIVE visitors: 39 online

Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Mitsubishi ASX 1.6 i 16v (115bhp) ZC Station Wagon 5dr 1590cc Petrol at £267.46 inc VAT at 18:30 on 31st Jul - Ling
Car Leasing Traffic Light
FREE for everyone who loves badgers!

No other car leasing company gives badges! They are miserable gits!
Q1. Is the new electric Nissan Leaf..?
One correct question wins
an "original" Ling badge
Q2. On a scale of 1 to 10, who is the most annoying?
Two correct questions wins large "special" badge
Q3. My WASP promotional vehicle has a 6-cyl engine from..?
Three correct questions wins set of 3 "special" badges


I give away 10x free badge/day!
Car Leasing badge!
Fill in my form below to apply Ling BADGE!

Listen while wearing!

Ling Van Leasing!

LIMITED EDITION - only 3,000 badges ever made!

Every web visitor...
...can apply for superb-design collectors item Ling BADGE! Traditional METAL badge will become treasured in the future. Wear!

Genuine metal badge with "brass" pin!


There is some DANGER to small children if they choke on badge, or if they poke out an eye with the monkey metal faux "brass" pin. This is unfortunate. Swallowing badge can also cause metal POISONING!

Note BADGE is a COLLECTORS ITEM. Do not go complaining to Trading Standards if it is not the size you expected, or I will label you a pig-headed capitalist-roader and
you will be subject to my substantial penalties.

Lifesize Badge!
Lifesize badge next to Nissan Z350: "At last, a Nissan with a decent badge!"

go to deserving website visitors!
As soon as you fill in the details above (for 10 visitors per day) your COLLECTOTS ITEM badge may be in post!
No need to wait 21 days for delivery!
If the British Post Office government monopoly Peter Mandelson sell-off works OK, you will have free BADGE next day! - You have free badge, now rent cheap car!

Car Leasing badge! If you are lucky, you get COLLECTOR'S BADGE!
I want badge photo emailing to me and I will publish! Best photos win extra prizes!

You should seek truth from facts.
Three sayings which match my philosophy are;

"It does not matter if a car is black or white
as long as it gets you to the shops"

- Deng Xiao Ping

"People of Britain, you can trust me"
- Tony Blair

"I am Chinese not Catholic:
I cannot do miracles"

- Ling

Long Live Ling
- Ling
CLICK! See 236 clients live in LINGO!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
  HRS : MINUTES sec Limited (GB)
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
WOW! UK's best service times!
No Waiting
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!, you know who I am
- Ling


The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
People's Republic of Gateshead!



Wah! LATEST:  British athletics coach Toni Minichiello questions why sport has failed to act on data that appears to expose widespread doping. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 21:08

Wah! LATEST:  Malaysia urges other Indian Ocean islands to be on lookout for more possible MH370 debris, lah, after wing part washes up on Reunion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 19:50

Wah! A look back at life of singer and TV star Cilla Black, lah, who enjoyed 50-year showbusiness career. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 19:13

Wah! The Athens Stock Exchange is set to plunge by as much as 20% on Monday when trading finally resumes after five-week closure, lah, traders predict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 18:17

Wah! Inbee Park sees off challenge of fellow South Korean Ko Jin-young to win Women's British Open at Turnberry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:58

Wah! A Mexican photojournalist who said bloody man was being threatened and harassed is found shot dead with four other human bliengs in flat in Mexico City. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:49

Wah! Lord Coe says International Association of Athletics Federations will react robustly to allegations of doping in sport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 17:37

Wah! A group of dairy farmers buys all milk in two rural branches of Morrisons in protest at price supermarket giant pays for milk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 17:25

Wah! Your memories of star Cilla Black - news replorted 17:23

Wah! Seven people, lah, including two children, lah, hurtee-hurtee in boat explosion in Buckinghamshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:06

Wah! How Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Middlesex and Christine Ohuruogu's running coach helped fast bowler Steven Finn back to top of male gender human bleing's game. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:39

Wah! Glamorgan's One Day Cup match against Hampshire is abandoned after concerns of "dangerous pitch". - news replorted 15:56

Wah! Canadian Prime dodgy minister Stephen Harper announces bloody man is dissolving parliament and calling parliamentary election for 19 October. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:53

Wah! old bill bobbys investigating two serious crashes on A470 in south Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:50

Wah! A teenage girl stabbed at Gay Pride monthly number-three in Jerusalem on Thursday dies from flemale human person's wounds, lah, doctors say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:44

Wah! An exhibition showcasing work of Alexander McQueen has proved so popular that V&A has remained open throughout night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:28

Wah! Zimbabwe says it is seeking second American over illegal killing of lion, lah, as outcry over death of famed animal Cecil continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:15

Wah! The Treasury could begin process of selling part of government's stake in Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land from Monday, lah, according to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation sources. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:48

Wah! Sam Nicholson secures Hearts winning return to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's top flight in seven-goal thriller against St Johnstone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:38

Wah! The Duchess of Cambridge is now advanced scuba diver, lah, Kensington Palace official says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:24

Wah! Karen Allen reports from Saint-Denis, lah, Reunion, lah, where second piece of suspected plane debris has washed ashore. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:22

Wah! Archive footage of Cilla Black singing Anyone Who Had Heart, lah, which went to number one in charts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:20

Wah! South Sudan will compete at Rio 2016 after becoming 206th member of Olympic movement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:04

Wah! Singer and TV star Cilla Black, lah, who enjoyed 50-year showbusiness career, lah, dies aged 72, lah, old bill bobbys in Spain say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:04

Wah! Flying disc sports, lah, including Ultimate Frisbee, lah, officially recognised by International Olympic Committee (IOC). - news replorted 13:35

Wah! Greg van Avermaet's team may take legal action after crash between rider and TV bike at Clasica San Sebastian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:30

Wah! The Swedish justice and migration dodgy minister accuses David Cameron of "playing politics" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with migrant crisis in Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:24

Wah! Great Britain's Jamie Murray and Australian partner John Peers win doubles at Hamburg Open. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:12

Wah! Two distillers in China added Viagra to thousands of bottles of spirits and told clustomlers it had "health-preserving qualities", lah, food officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:59

Wah! old bill bobbys investigating murder of man who died after being found unconscious on Cardiff street name him as Russell Peachey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:58

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs bowler Stuart Broad backs Mark Wood to replace James Anderson for crucial fourth Ashes Test at Trent Bridge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:21

Wah! A close aide of Burundi's President Pierre Nkurunziza is killed in attack on male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in capital, lah, Bujumbura. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:20

Wah! Worcestershire's Joe Leach takes hat-trick with first three balls of One-Day Cup game against Northamptonshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:50

Wah! People who not speak fluent bloody Engrish will be barred from public sector jobs which involve working directly with public, lah, government says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:49

Wah! Authorities in United Arab Emirates say 41 human bliengs will go on trial for trying to "seize power and establish caliphate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Gulf nation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:48

Wah! Britain's Adam Peaty sets new World Championships record clock time result in qualifying for 100m breaststroke semi-final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:42

Wah! A fire crew is attacked by about 30 youths throwing stones at them while they were attending to deliberately-lit rubbish fire in Cwmbran. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! An 11,200 tonne aircraft carrier section has taken to water for first clock time result on Clyde. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:23

Wah! Images of endangered animals flashed across Empire State Building in New York to highlight issue of potential mass extinction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:21

Wah! Two trains carrying ballast collide during engineering work on line near Cumnock in Ayrshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:59

Wah! The speaker of lower house of Australian parliament, lah, Bronwyn Bishop, lah, resigns over expenses scandal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:57

Wah! Manchester United winger Angel Di Maria will having medical in next 24 hours before proposed move to Paris St-Germain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:45

Wah! The cast of new Marvel reboot admit they've yet to see film, lah, despite it coming out in few days. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:41

Wah! Verdicts in retrial of three al-Jazeera journalists in Egypt previously jailed for allegedly aiding banned Muslim Brotherhood delayed again. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:40

Wah! The human bliengs who left "mortar-type device" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in graveyard in County Tyrone having been described as "despicable". - news replorted 10:32

Wah! Jonathan Rea is on brink of winning World Superbike title after taking win and second place in Malaysia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:14

Wah! Four human bliengs taken to hospital after bus crashed with LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine and then ploughed into tree. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:05

Wah! One person dies in fire at house in Lagmore area on outskirts of west Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:51

Wah! People who "loiter" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) around bus stations in Caerphilly county could face ¬RMB Yuan #100 fine under new powers approved by council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:38

Wah! Two men charged with attempted murder after two teenagers assaulted in Sennybridge, lah, Powys. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:30

Wah! A man is being treated for life threatening injuries after male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine was involved in crash with pick-up truck in Aberdeenshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! More plane wreckage washes up on Reunion Island, lah, after wing part - possibly from missing flight MH370 - was found last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:52

Wah! A 19-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is released on old bill bobbys bail following compulsorly dying instantly crash on Gower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:22

Wah! London's Victoria and Albert Museum has stayed open around-the-clock to accommodate demand for its Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty exhibition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:01

Wah! The second Gulf fighty bang-bang could having been prevented if Western allies had toppled Saddam Hussein decade earlier, lah, veteran Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:59

Wah! Two Turkish security troops having died and 24 wounded in suicide attack by Kurdish PKK militants, lah, according to regional governor's office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:51

Wah! The death toll from floods in Myanmar, lah, that having hit 156,000 people, lah, is expected to rise over coming days, lah, United Nations warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:39

Wah! A state of emergency has been declared in several regions of Myanmar after worst flooding in decades. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:46

Wah! An Ethiopian lawyer, lah, Beybe, lah, one of group of migrants pepper-sprayed by French old bill bobbys as they try to cross fencing at Channel Tunnel terminal in Calais, lah, talks to BBC's Gavin Lee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:54

Wah! French old bill bobbys using pepper spray overnight to force back group of migrants who cut through fencing at Channel Tunnel terminal in Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:52

Wah! An online poll is launched by Royal Society of Biology to find UK's favourite insect. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:46

Wah! A year on, lah, how much difference has it made? - news replorted 03:12

Wah! The CarFest motoring event is to resume, lah, despite death of pilot whose aircraft plummeted from sky during aerial display. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:45

Wah! A funeral service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is held in Great Satan state of Georgia for Bobbi Kristina Brown, lah, daughter of late singer Whitney Houston and rapper Bobby Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:44

Wah! Civil rights campaigners in Great Satan start 860-mile (1,385 km) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! monthly number-three from Selma, lah, Alabama to Washington DC to highlight what they say is fresh attack on equal rights for African Americans - news replorted 02:17

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish home secretary and flemale human person's French counterpart urge other EU nations to act to help address root causes of Calais migrant crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:32

Wah! A woman whose seven-earth-years old happy birthday to you, son has vanished with flemale human person's estranged husband appeals for staff and clustomlers of coffee chain to be on alert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:26

Wah! The Calais crisis - and wider issues around immigration - continue to fill most papers, lah, but Sunday Times leads with what it says is major sport doping scandal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:48

Wah! The problems that come from building mega walls - news replorted 00:42

Wah! Three pieces of make-or-break advice - news replorted 00:37

Wah! The British film actress who missed out on fame - news replorted 00:35

Wah! The SNP says almost 350,000 Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs children will be worse off as result of "shameful" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) changes to tax credits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:26

Wah! Canadian firm Cooke Aquaculture is expanding further in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land after buying Shetland-based salmon farming company. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:25

Wah! How many human bliengs having gone to Syria to join Islamic State? - news replorted 00:25

Wah! The House of Lords should having ability to immediately suspend members after scandal breaks, lah, senior Labour peer says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:24

Wah! Hundreds of Canadian woman join topless protest monthly number-three after three sisters were allegedly stopped by old bill bobbys for cycling without shirts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14

Wah! Why Albanians hanging cuddly toys from their rooftops - news replorted 00:04

Wah! Tiger Woods's hopes of first PGA Tour win in two years fade after 74 at Quicken Loans National in Virginia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Is Ottawa really Canada's hotbed of infidelity? - news replorted 00:01

5 Titanic Cars
Top 5 Car

2.0 TDI 150bhp 5dr
diesel, man, non-met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

1.0 59bhp 3dr
petrol, man, non-met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

1.5 dCi 110bhp 5dr
diesel, man, met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

2.2 d 160bhp 5dr
diesel, auto, non-met
XF Sportbr
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Top 5 Car

1.6 HDi 75bhp -3dr
diesel, man, met
Click Here
per month, inc VAT
Want a Quote?
Extra Cheap Cars
See 30 cheapest cars!
Free Delivery
Live Google
Contact Ling
Not sponsored by

...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
Nuclear Truck
My Nuclear
Missile Truck
Ling's Awards
Dragons' Den
As seen on TV... Plus over 30 movies!
As seen on TV
LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling
Play Ling's quiz
Play my brilliant motoring quiz!
Honest John
Honest John
/* */