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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1537 / 1528
Dean says...
MAZDA 6Ling made everything so easy for me, with outstanding, excellent service all round. Everything went smoothly and we received our new car within 4 weeks. We shopped around a lot for the best deals, and Ling by far came out with the best deal and cheapest price. Received the Mazda 6 on time in person from an excellent dealer.

Dean Wells
9 Deepdale
Hadrian Lodge West

Editor Note: Dean, great letter, thanks. Really appreciate the kind comments, from the ancient Roman settlement of Wallsend. I thank the dealer . Enjoy the Mazda! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1533 / 1528
Cristopher says...
MERCEDES C-CLASS SALOON An excellent service for my new Mercedes C Class, very fast, friendly and efficient. Thank you very much!! Dealer was excellent – It was a pleasure.

Cristopher Beattie
76 Sevenacres
Great Lumley
Chester Le Street

Editor Note: Great news, Cris. I like fast, friendly and efficient. Hard to beat that, especially as the car was very cheap. :) Mercs rock, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1532 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTADealing with Ling is a pleasure, her staff are friendly and informative, which coupled with the website actually makes replacing your car a fun experience. Thanks Ling, love the Fiesta by the way.

David Gallon
Heathcol Welding Supplies Ltd
257a Dukesway
Team Valley Trading Estate
NE11 0PZ

Editor Note: Hmmm, I must beat my staff up more, if they have that much time to be friendly, hahaha. Glad you had fun, everyone with these new Fiestas, loves them. You are local to me, in Gateshead - on the same trading estate in fact! Great, eh? Acapulco of the North. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1524 / 1528
Brian says...
 Ling, it was a pleasure to deal with your company from start to finish. Every query and question was dealt with promptly. I was made to feel like I was your “only” customer such was the personal nature of your service. Dealer Service – Excellent – Very prompt and efficient.

Brian Roffe
45, Stratford Ave

Editor Note: Brian, but you were my only customer, it was a quiet week, hahahahaha! I do treat everyone individually, I find it much more enjoyable. Mazda 3 is a great car, low-profile, but very good. Thanks for your communication, you were very good to deal with, that helps. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1512 / 1528
Sydney says...
RENAULT MEGANE COUPEThanks Ling; absolutely fab service from start to finish. Staff were brill, always helpful and friendly couldn't have asked for a better first experience. Would recommend you without a doubt and have been telling everyone how impressed I was. Dealer Service – Excellent – Prompt on time and exceptional with my new Renault Megane Coupe.

Sydney Fraser
18 Percy Lonnen
NE42 5QU

Editor Note: What another lovely letter. The supplier will appreciate getting a copy - I have forwarded it. You are pretty local to me, so possibly I will see you buzzing around in your Megane. Cool cars, these. Thanks for being lovely customer, Syd! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1489 / 1528
Andrew says...
NISSAN QASHQAII simply cannot believe how easy leasing a car has been. In fact the most difficult part of the whole process was actually choosing a car that I wanted. There was so much choice!

I have never leased a car before and was rather pessimistic about leasing as I have always owned my car. One visit to totally changed my mind as it listed all the costs, how it all worked and instant access to a member of staff who also were brilliant when I asked questions.

I am very happy with my new Qashqai and is the best decision I have ever made regarding cars as especially in this snowy weather the car is brilliant.

I can't ever see myself buying a car again; I just don't see the point. Especially with what Ling is offering. The customer service on the website is literally phenomenal and you know exactly where you stand all the time.

Thanks very much Ling.

Dealer Service – EXCELLENT, brilliant service. Thank you!

Andrew Appleyard
11 Fox Howe
Coulby Newham

Editor Note: What a long letter, lovely! You are a Programme Executive with the Prince's Trust, so you are an expert in excellence. I appreciate your comments. Thanks for that PHENOMENAL word, love it. Enjoy the bloody nice Qashqai, hope Charlie is impressed when he sees it! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1486 / 1528
Susan says...
VOLKSWAGEN SCIROCCOFrom the very beginning I received nothing but excellent service. I would say that LingsCars are very professional organised and approachable – no one else can touch Ling for her deals. She is also however quite crazy!!

As the car I wanted (Scirocco) was an automatic and particular colour, it had to be factory order and the wait was approx 4 months. However, I was kept informed of the progress all the way – many times I received e-mails just checking in and wishing me a good weekend etc. I would log into the website just for a laugh and to share it with colleagues at work – MAD!

I still get immense pleasure from just getting in the car and I don't think, especially as this is a second car for us, that I could have afforded to buy it with this spec. I will definitely be using LingsCars again when this lease is up. However, Love the car so much – don't want to think that far ahead.

Excellent dealer, car was clean, delivered when advised and very courteous service.

Susan Hobson
17 Sunningdale Drive
NE37 2LL

Editor Note: Woooo Hooo. It is great to read this stuff! Always difficult when a bespoke car is such a long lead time, but this is why I have LINGO, so the wait is painless. Progress is always passed on, even if bad news. But your car was all GOOD NEWS, Susan. Thanks so much for the business. Hope you have lovely time in the fast Scirocco! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1484 / 1528
Brian says...
CITROEN C5If I knew then what I know now I would have contract hired a car from Ling years ago, its so easy and cheap! No messing about, no hard sell and a great service. From asking for a quote to having my C5 delivered to my door it couldn't have been simpler. Delivery is free and prompt. Finance was quick and information accurate.

Brian Nelson
16 Frederick Street North

Editor Note: Hahaha, well, it has taken me years to get to this stage... but really you had a very successful time getting a car. The C5 is lovely car. Plus, you got Sat Nav! So you won't get lost around County Durham. Thanks for being great customer, Brian! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1481 / 1528
Marie says...
NISSAN QASHQAIWould highly recommend LingsCars. No other dealer/ lease company could match the great deal I got from Ling. Easy, easy, easy process thanks to the Lingo website. All my questions were answered within minutes! Friendly/ funny staff – had many laughs along the way. In other words, EXCELLENT customer service. Many freebies – mainly Chinese polos! Remember confusions say “too many Chinese polos mean many trips to dentist” :o)

Marie Culley
14 Limetrees Gardens
Low Fell

Editor Note: Hahahah, good job you are not a dentist, Marie. You are local to me in Gateshead, you live less than 1 mile away, so I will see you around and about in the Qashqai... and the car is made only 5 miles from us both, too! Thanks for super letter! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1464 / 1528
Gary says...
CITROEN C5 TOURERGood service. Very Happy. Good dealer service, nice guy.

Gary Bone
35 Tamarisk Way
Sheriff Hill

Editor Note: WoW! Gary, you live about 500m from me, amazing, and from the best music pub in the UK - the Three Tuns! So, I will definitely see you flashing around in your new C5 Tourer. These are great cars, so comfortable. Glad everything went well! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1460 / 1528
Rajiv says...
TOYOTA AYGOApart from the long delivery time for the Aygo and the delivery of the vehicle to the wrong address, I cannot fault he excellent service you and your team provide. Good dealer, but... Oops!! Delivered car to the wrong address, but then brought the car to the correct address the same day.

Rajiv Menezes
Address Withheld
North Shields
NE29 ***

Editor Note: Aaaagh, I pull my hair out at these damn car dealers, why can't they get it right? The Aygos are simply in demand and there is not much stock. We had to wait for a car to be built. Glad you like the service, Rajiv. I withhold your address, because you are a doctor - to avoid druggy idiots attacking you. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1457 / 1528
Allen says...
 Ling, I have been delighted with the service from LingsCars and as well as being an easy way of leasing a car it is done in a fun and wacky way! Keep up the good work. Good delivery of my Audi A4.

Allen Jones
37 Hartley Ave
Whitley Bay
NE26 3NS

Editor Note: Allen, thanks. Another Audi bites the dust :) Glad you enjoyed the process, it's great that you send me this lovely letter! Cheers, mate! You are quite local to me too, maybe I see you around? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1442 / 1528
Jonathon says...
CITROEN C5Words to describe Personal, efficient, friendly, professional, fun.

My car/deal- I am delighted with my car and feel that I have got a good value for money deal. Score for = 10/10

Very happy customer! Suggestions for improvement- although the car was delivered with a couple of weeks of signing the docs, things did go a little quiet. Try to keep in touch to reassure that car is coming. Excellent delivery, the delivery driver was very courteous.

Jonathon Malton
14 Monkseaton Drive
Whitley Bay
Tyne And Wear
NE26 1SZ

Editor Note: Whoa! Looks like I did not communicate well enough on delivery. I take massive note and improve this, Jon. However, checking, between the time you received the documents and delivery, I had 12 messages to you on LINGO, but I admit there were 6 days while we waited for the delivery to take place when you had no updates. So, I have changed procedures and my system will now not let more than 3 days pass without an update. I appreciate that feedback, thanks. So pleased you still give me 10/10!

Apart from this, you are a chai expert with Ringtons, so I had loads of tea advice along the way :) Hope you enjoy the C5 immensely. Super customer, great fun! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1439 / 1528
Dr says...
FORD FIESTAIt's been a really good experience for me as it was the first time I had taken a car on lease and definitely will go for it again through Ling. Service was prompt and excellent. Have already promoted and recommended LINGsCARS to a couple of friends. Excellent delivery, the Fiesta was brought on time as promised.

Dr Punekar
Address Withheld
Newcastle Upon Tyne
NE3 ***

Editor Note: Samad, thanks so much for the letter. You are a doctor very close to me, so: I hope I never have to meet you, hahaha! If I do, I hope your service is as good as mine and you keep me alive. Really pleased you are happy. I withhold your address as doctors can be targetted by druggie idiots. Enjoy the Fiesta! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1427 / 1528
Helen says...
HONDA CR-VThis is the second car that we have leased via Ling and it's well worth it for the Chinese money and dubious sweets she packs in her letters. Fantastic service, foolproof step by step guides throughout the process and a laugh along the way too. And the new Honda CRV is fantastic! Excellent delivery. Fantastic! Arrived at 8.30 am- Perfect!

Helen Thomson
15 Nightingale Close
Brompton On Swale
DL10 7TR

Editor Note: Wow! What a letter!!! :) I think you are happy bunny, Helen. Lovely to deal with you and so pleased you like the terrible sweets :) I bet the CRV has been great in the 2010 snow we have been having. Lovely car, to a lovely customer, in a lovely part of the UK! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1425 / 1528
Sarah says...
PEUGEOT 308Found LINGsCARS after recommendation from family and expected the service to be compromised because the price of my new Peugeot 308 was so much lower than anywhere else I had looked. This wasn't the case and I couldn't have been treated any better - despite the remote location of my house. I would and have recommended Ling to everyone I know.

Sarah Jarrett
6 Portland Steet
CA14 4BQ

Editor Note: Hahahaha, price of the car has nothing to do with service, Sarah. I treat all customers the same, from Matiz to BMW M3. No difference to me. I generate the lowest prices possible, and demand top service from suppliers. Lovely letter from wild and windy (and wet) Cumbria, thanks so much! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1400 / 1528
David says...
VOLKSWAGEN SCIROCCOThis is the first time I've used contract hire to get a car and I must say that the experience of using LingsCars has been excellent from start to finish. The communication has been superb throughout and by far the best for any product that I've purchased recently.

I think your Lingo system is great and really lets people feel a lot more in control of things. Other companies (not just those in the car leasing business) could learn a lot from this. I have already recommended LingsCars to friends and would have no hesitation in using you again. Good delivery, car arrived not quite agreed time, but otherwise great.

David Groark
1 Avoncroft Close

Editor Note: Dave, thanks so much :) As this was a VW Scirocco, it was subject to a small delay as the production was overbooked at the factory and VW struggled to cope, but... you have one of the best selling cars of 2009, and so cheap. Hope you love it. Thanks for kind comments. Great customer. Funny name though, I still can't say it. :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1393 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTALeasing a car from LingsCars was the easiest and quickest way I have ever had. Top class secure system and update information given every day. Would not go anywhere else for my cars! Spot on delivery with a friendly service.

David Peareth
58 Woodside Gardens

Editor Note: Peas, you are a skilled gardener with local council, so I went on Google Earth to show a pic of the very flower beds you maintain. In summer they are stunning:
Good eh? Glad you love my service and the Fiesta. See you around, in Gateshead! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1369 / 1528
John says...
 Hi Ling, thanks for the great service during the whole process. Car arrived two days earlier than planned. Loved the crack during the emails, the best thing was the sweets sent in the post, ta. Excellent services Ling, who needs a Dragon? Good service and good communication from the dealer during delivery, too.

John Wardropper
7, Craster Point
East Shore Village
Seaham Co Durham

Editor Note: Hey, you are easily pleased if the best thing about getting a new Audi A3 are some rancid Chinese sweets! :) I choose the worst ones, especially! Hahahaha. Have a super time in your new A3 Sport. You are quite close to me, in Seaham, maybe see you around? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1355 / 1528
Jayne says...
CITROEN C5First car I have leased. I found the service very professional, Ling is great to deal with, great sense of humour!! The website and secure LINGO system for communication is "Boss"!! Cannot speak highly enough! Good delivery of my new C5.

Jayne Wilson

Editor Note: Jayne, you are Op Manager for a company in Carlisle and I am so happy to get good reports like this from someone who deals with day-to-day operations. It means I am doing something right!!! Have a great time in the C5, and welcome to the world of leasing! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1353 / 1528
Karen says...
 Yet again I have had fantastic service from Ling. My Audi A3 is absolutely great and it came on time. Delivered by a really helpful man. Everything done really efficiently.

Karen Hynes
The Crown Inn
Vicars Lane

Editor Note: Karen, well... I am pleased you are so happy for a second time with another car. I'm sure you are happy with the A3, a lovely car! I look forward to calling in for free drink when I am in Darlington (not too far from me). - Ling

Customer Letter: 1346 / 1528
Nina says...
 The service was fantastic, it was so fast and efficient. I love my new car and will be looking for a new deal as soon as my current agreement expires. Good delivery of my Peugeot 107, very pleasant and on time.

Nina Sexton
32 Edward Street
NE61 6UH

Editor Note: That is excellent, Nina! So happy you are so happy. You are not far from my office so I may see you driving around. It's lovely that you say you will be back. Please enjoy the 107! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1327 / 1528
Susan says...
FORD FIESTAI'm thrilled with my new Ford Fiesta! Ling made the process idiot proof, was professional and even when there was a glitch to resolve after the delivery inspection, this was done with a sense of urgency and no-nonsense. Thanks Ling, we're recommending you to all our friends and family. Delivery was poor, but the dealer's effort to resolve things was excellent!

Susan Sehzade-Cosway
20 Dalesman Drive

Editor Note: OK, for the benefit of people reading this I will detail: On delivery, Sue noticed the airbag warning light had come on. There were also some other things - there were a couple of stone chips and the car was dirty (a wet day). The dealer immediately, personally went to sort this stuff out. Sue then sent me a message: "Really appreciate your swift response and push to resolve the prob with the car. 'Neil' just called and has assured me that surplus mileage will be reimbursed by cheque, and he is coming personally to collect my car leaving me with his until mine is back with me. He was extremely apologetic and very reluctant to send the car to our local Ford dealership given their shoddy response to me earlier today. The car is booked into his service dept first thing tomorrow and he has let them know he wants a 'diagnosis' by 10am."

(Then Sue sent another message)...

"Neil called me about an hour ago to confirm that it was a tiny problem of a connector not having been connected properly (under the seat for the airbag) by the manufacturer. Such a relief and finding my excitement rising again at getting my new and perfect car :o). I can't thank you enough for your superb customer service and personal attention in this matter. As I stated previously, the glitch with the warning light was a Ford problem and we cannot fault your handling of this matter. You have been superb! We also feel that Neil went the whole extra mile too in his handling of this issue and will be conveying this to his manager (s) if you would be so kind to supply us with their name(s) and contact address. Needless to say we will recommend you to as many people as will listen!"

(Then a bit later)...

"Just to confirm, the car was delivered by Neil about an hour and a half ago. Everything is in order and very pleased with it."

All in all excellent dealer response, I agree! Glad you love the car, Sue, and thanks so much for all comments. Other customers will appreciate to read this. Well done to Neil at the dealer! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1320 / 1528
Jayne says...
CITROEN C5This was the first time I have had a car on contract hire and I was surprised how easy it was. I believe a lot of it was down to you. I can recommend you to anyone and have already done so. Many thanks. Good delivery. The CD installation let the dealer down, after 3 weeks I still don't have it fitted.

Jayne Wilson

Editor Note: Well, for the record, the supplier (today) said: "The company we use for CD players has let us down. He promised he could supply and fit the correct CD player but now he is saying he cannot and not phoning any of us back. Our parts department is ordering one from the factory which we will then go up and fit. I will give Mrs Wilson a call with an update. I did call Mr Wilson yesterday and explained what we were doing.". However, I am annoyed that it has to take this long for action, and the supplying Citroen dealer must take responsibility at an earlier stage. The dealer has been kicked. It is so important to give customers good service and it is always finance companies and dealers who let the side down. Soon, you will be able to blast out your CDs, Jayne! :) I must say, you do have a CD player in your car, just not the CD changer system. I would not allow you to have NO music :) Apart from that, thanks so much for the comments about my service. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1314 / 1528
Kevin says...
FORD FIESTAExcellent service from start to finish. The web login is fantastic and an easy way to keep track of progress. Ling's replies are almost instant as well! Absolutely chuffed to bits with the price, the service, the car (Ford Fiesta 1.6 TDCi Zetec S) - any chance of some mats?

Kevin Royal
Address Withheld
DH1 ***

Editor Note: I withhold your address as you have a sensitive public service job. Yes, I will send some mats :) Special ones with my head on them so you can kick it with your feet, hahaha! I try to reply as fast as possible, average reply time is often less than 5 minutes, normally around 10 minutes (I need time to find the answers you want!). Glad you like the LINGO web management. Enjoy the Fiesta! - Ling

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Wah! The British Museum is to stage its first major exhibition of ancient objects recovered from seabed, lah, called Egypt's Lost Worlds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:08

Wah! Caterham Seven 160 self-assembly British sportscar maker, lah, Caterham Cars, lah, has launched new approved finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan scheme which offers clustomlers chance to - news replorted 14:03

Wah! A Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation investigation has uncovered evidence of corruption and bribery at one of UK's biggest companies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:39

Wah! Pope Francis visits mosque in capital of Central African Republic, lah, and calls for religious harmony in country divided along religious lines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:32

Wah! One of Hatton Garden raiders used someone else's over-60s pass as bloody man travelled to carry out burglary, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:31

Wah! The Iraqi Tommy Atkins Liberation Army urges human bliengs living in centre of Islamic State-held city of Ramadi to leave before operation to retake it is launched. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:18

Wah! Toy and educational material seller Vtech has revealed five million clustomlers were affected by hack of its app database and has also suspended 13 websites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:04

Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Facebook users wonder what happened to saltire on St Andrew's Day - news replorted 12:53

Wah! Poorer students and colleges in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep should be priorities for money used to subsidise tuition fees, lah, opposition parties in assembly say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:53

Wah! Volkswagen Scirocco GT Black Edition ‘kerb appeal’ of Volkswagen’s exhilarating Scirocco sports coupé has never been in doubt: distinctive silhouette - news replorted 12:45

Wah! Beaulieu Summer - Falconry For full information, lah, please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!) click on event names to visit relevant web pages, lah, or visit - news replorted 12:41

Wah! Amazon's drone delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so project Prime Air has unveiled new prototype in video featuring former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:38

Wah! Ford Galaxy claim (always claiming, huh?) best MPV at Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year Awards All-new Floord Galaxy claimed overall “MPV of year” at 2015 Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year awards. Eating rice!! S-MAX and C-MAX were - news replorted 12:23

Wah! Hot Rod and Custom Drive-In Day For full information, lah, please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!) click on event names to visit relevant web pages, lah, or visit - news replorted 12:19

Wah! David Haye says Tyson Fury is refusing to fight him because male gender human bleing's style would "absolutely murder" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that of new world champion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:05

Wah! Susie Wolff may not having achieved flemale human person's dream of racing in F1, lah, but Briton has left mark on sport bloody woman loves. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:03

Wah! Former New Zealand cricketer Chris Cairns speaks outside court after being found not guilty of perjury and perverting course of justice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:00

Wah! Two 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Israelis convicted of murder of Palestinian youth Mohammad Abu Khdair, lah, who was abducted and burned to death in Jerusalem in 2014. - news replorted 11:40

Wah! Former New Zealand damn crazy Engrish baseball game captain Chris Cairns is found not guilty of lying under oath during 2012 libel case. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! Phone-maker Blackberry is to stop operating in Pakistan at end of 2015 because of government requests to monitor clustomler data. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:31

Wah! Ferrari N.V. (NYSE: RACE) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! (“Ferrari”) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! announced today that it has entered into €2.5 billion syndicated loan facility w - news replorted 11:31

Wah! The High Court in Belfast rules abortion legislation in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is in breach of human rights laws - news replorted 11:30

Wah! 2016 Porsche Carrera Cup GB calendar unveiled 2016 Porsche Carrera Cup GB Championship calendar has been confirmed and includes incredible opportunity to race - news replorted 11:30

Wah! Royal Automobile Club announces contenders for Torrens Trophy Each year Royal Automobile Club awards series of historic trophies and medals to individuals and organisations, lah, ce - news replorted 11:28

Wah! Honda toasts spoils of its success Rondla celebrated season of sparkling success in 2015 Dunlop MSA British Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship on Saturday eveni - news replorted 10:54

Wah! Honda Civic Rondla bloody annoying Blitish has today announced price rise for its LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine range. What the hell I mean??!! Coming into effect from 1st Jesus-baby month Decemblinger for HR-V and from - news replorted 10:53

Wah! A UN conference aimed at agreeing new global approach to climate change has opened in Paris with world leaders due to speak. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Jean Todt to deliver annual Watkins Lecture at Autosport International FIA President, lah, Jean Todt, lah, will deliver Motorsport Safety Fund’s prestigious Watkins Lecture on Friday 15 January, lah, 20 - news replorted 10:44

Wah! Brookes Building Applications now being accepted by Oxford Brookes University for innovative new degree programme which has been d - news replorted 10:41

Wah! Prince Charles told world leaders to "think of your as really velly special customer's grandchildren, lah, same as I think of mine" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 10:34

Wah! Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is set to meet male gender human bleing's shadow cabinet before deciding whether to allow party's Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters free vote on issue of air strikes in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:24

Wah! Cyber Monday is expected to add to one of busiest weekends for online shopping, lah, following Black Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:23

Wah! Leaders from 147 nations addressing UN conference in Paris, lah, aimed at agreeing new global approach to climate change. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:17

Wah! Audi R18 celebrates world premiere in Munich brand with four rings will be entering 2016 motorsport season with most powerful and efficient race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine - news replorted 10:10

Wah! The final film in Hunger Games series holds onto top spot at Great Satan and Canada box office, lah, despite competition from Pixar's new release. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:08

Wah! Bentley representing bloody annoying Blitish on Grand Avenue Italian beauty or America muscle? British tradition or French quirk? German efficiency or Japanese technology? - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Sugary soft drinks should be taxed to tackle child obesity in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:58

Wah! Honda (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! re-signs trio for 2016 British Superbike Champions Rondla (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce that its current MCE British Superbike Championship riders Dan Linfoot, lah, Jenny Tinmouth - news replorted 09:56

Wah! Millions of householders in Province of Engrish running-dogs could soon be given more choice over which capitalist entity supplies part of their water services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:48

Wah! Motorcycle Live 2015 comes alive! Motorcycle Live 2015 fired into life at NEC, lah, Birmingham on Saturday with star-studded roll call of racing VIPs, lah, ov - news replorted 09:44

Wah! ŠKODA Superb Estate ŠKODA Superb Estate has triumphed once again at annual Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year awards, lah, driving off with 201 - news replorted 09:38

Wah! A new initiative has been announced by Emissions Analytics to help consumers, lah, policy makers and vehicling driving car machine manufacturers be - news replorted 09:33

Wah! Larsson wins Argentina RX as Solberg is crowned 2015 WRX Champion Sweden’s Robin Larsson has won male gender human bleing's first FIA World Rallycross Championship event after triumphing at this weekend’s TOTA - news replorted 09:29

Wah! Iconic Renliot range now available to order (piece of paper signee upee) Clio Iconic 25 Nav Renliot is launching trio of high-specification special editions across its small LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine model line-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:19

Wah! Volvo XC90 Wolwo XC90 has been voted Best SUV at 2015 Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year Awards. Eating rice!! award ceremony was held at t - news replorted 09:11

Wah! Four key questions about future of Conservative Party chairman and close friend of David Cameron Lord Feldman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:08

Wah! Land Rover Defender 2,000,000 two-day Series Land Rover and Defender heritage exhibition will be on display at Bonhams London (capital of Great England) from 15-16 Jesus-baby month Decemblinger ah - news replorted 08:54

Wah! Andy Murray on ice baths over champagne, lah, Davis Cup selfies with supporters and avoiding eye contact with brother Jamie. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:51

Wah! Sir David Attenborough tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Breakfast that solar energy needs to "undercut price of energy obtained from oil and coal." (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 08:50

Wah! Jaguar XE R Sport Jagluar XE has added to its already impressive trophy cabinet with major wins at two prestigious award ceremonies in - news replorted 08:46

Wah! Kobe Bryant, lah, widely regarded as one of greatest basketball players in history, lah, will retire at end of season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:03

Wah! A bald eagle was rescued by two Canadian brothers after getting caught in trap - see how they did it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:18

Wah! A 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl who has been awarded damages for being manipulated into sexting flemale human person's teacher, lah, tells BBC's Clive Coleman how it began. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:54

Wah! Compensation has been awarded to victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of 'sexting' for first time, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has learnt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:02

Wah! Campaigners target trolls by putting their written-down messages on dead tree on billboards - news replorted 05:17

Wah! The cost to local councils of so-called "paupers' funerals" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) has risen by almost 30% - so why they footing bill for more and more of ceremonies? - news replorted 05:01

Wah! Former All Black player Jonah Lomu has been remembered at special service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service in Auckland, lah, New Zealand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:38

Wah! Senior Conservatives due to meet to discuss allegations that youth organiser bullied young activist who apparently took male gender human bleing's own life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:30

Wah! Are we about to see return to Labour Party fratricide of early 1980s, lah, asks Shaun Ley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:55

Wah! A public memorial for New Zealand funny shape ball-game great Jonah Lomu, lah, who died earlier this month at 40, lah, has been held at Auckland's Eden Park stadium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 03:48

Wah! Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is due to meet male gender human bleing's shadow cabinet to discuss possible air strikes in Syria amid deep splits in parliamentary party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:04

Wah! Asian shares trade mostly lower with positive economic data from Japan failing to inspire investors about growth in world's third largest economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:03

Wah! Neneh Cherry's daughter, lah, unsigned rapper and former backing singer for Pulp all make longlist for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Music's Sound Of 2016. - news replorted 01:27

Wah! More than 4,500 miles of bloody annoying Blitish roads having no mobile phone coverage, lah, analysis by RAC Foundation suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:19

Wah! Children in foster care make better educational progress than vulnerable children who remain with their birth parents, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05

Wah! US President Barack Obama, lah, in Paris for UN climate talks, lah, visits Bataclan theatre to pay male gender human bleing's respects to those killed there. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Why so many human bliengs hate American airports - news replorted 00:51

Wah! A tax on sugary drinks should be introduced as part of "bold and urgent" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) set of measures to tackle child obesity in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:40

Wah! More than half of parents in Province of Engrish running-dogs having never spoken to their children about stress, lah, anxiety and depression, lah, survey suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:39

Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama has visited scene of Bataclan theatre attacks in Paris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:27

Wah! Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai says bloody woman is "proud to be called Brummie" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at unveiling of portrait in flemale human person's adopted city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:14

Wah! A critical UN conference aimed at agreeing new global approach to climate change is set to open in Paris with 147 world leaders in attendance. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:07

Wah! Unpicking numbers for Black Friday and Cyber Monday - news replorted 00:03

Wah! Internal party politics is again played out on front pages, lah, which report Labour divisions over Syria and row over bullying claim (always claiming, huh?) within Conservatives. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! The proposed high-speed rail link between Birmingham and Crewe will be opened six years earlier than planned, lah, in 2027, lah, Chancellor George Osborne says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

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