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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1529 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1525 / 1529
David says...
FORD FIESTAI was a first time leaser, I was told about Ling's, not too sure when I looked at other sites. All I can say is I kept going back to Ling's, glad I did. A wacky but worthwhile experience, got the car I wanted (Fiesta) at the best price… Dealer Service – Good – No complaints.

David Mcculloch
48 Calderglen Avenue
Blantyre
Glasgow
G72 9UN


Editor Note: No complaints, no regrets :) And you will not regret the Fiesta which is just about the best small car you can get. I especially appreciate you say I had the best price, as you are Scottish :) hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1520 / 1529
Helen says...
MAZDA 6Ling's service has been excellent. She kept me informed every step of the way and car arrived on specified date. I would highly recommend her service. I also got insurance from the broker she recommended and it was great too! Dealer Service – Excellent.

Helen Mcdowell
The Orchard
Main Road
Cardross
G82 5JX


Editor Note: What can I say, Helen? ... Everything was "excellent", including your choice of car, the Mazda 6. It was a bargain for a sporty 5 seat family car. Hope you enjoy it zooping around the lake district. Thanks for being so lovely to deal with. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1471 / 1529
Andrew says...
 Amazingly fast transaction, faultless professionalism. See you in two years for another. Dealer Service – EXCELLENT. True gent delivering car in pristine condition.

Andrew Neilson
4 Fintry Gardens
Glasgow
G61 4RJ


Editor Note: Andrew, fantastic! How great that I am getting such nice letters from Mercedes customers, as Merc UK are trying to kill my supply of new cars. I really think that I can beat Merc at their own "quality" game. Fantastic letter, thanks. Enjoy the CLK. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1406 / 1529
Adnan says...
BMW M3 COUPETruly exceptional service. Beats all the other competitors in the market. Trust me when I say it is a ''personalised' service that Ling has set up! Response are near instant and a history of all communications is kept in one 'Lingo' page so you can always go back if you lose your way. Super dooper. Excellent delivery of my new M3 by the BMW dealer!

Adnan Ali
14 Meadowhill
Newton Mearns
Glasgow
G77 6SX


Editor Note: BMW UK, are you listening? BMW UK are being consistent bastards to me by trying to get me to stop supplying their new cars. They send a solicitor letter every week. However, I will not be brow-beaten. If BMW UK read this letter, they can see how my service is actually better than theirs, as they manage nowhere near the communication excellence and customer satisfaction I achieve. This was a BMW M3, a £50k car! That Adnan thought I beat every other competitor for service makes me very happy. All customers get the same treatment - the very best in the industry. BMW UK, feel free to apologise for bullying me with your multi-£million lawyer budgets and threats. Thanks for comments, Adnan. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1234 / 1529
Scott says...
 This is our third car ordered from Ling and as usual the customer service has been quick and excellent. I would highly recommend LINGsCARS and will keep using Ling for our fleet requirements. Good delivery on the SAAB, no problems to report.

Scott Allison
Abica Ltd
9 Dava Street
Glasgow
G51 2JA


Editor Note: Scott, job done! Good customer on your 3rd car from me, next car I send you free mats! Each mat pack contains 4 mats, which means you will have one for each car - easy. How lovely it is to deal with you, Scott, and it's so easy to remember the name of someone who is called after the country he lives in :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1076 / 1529
Ross says...
 This is my 3rd contract hire, first from Ling, and won't be the last. Very, very good. Delivered on time. She kept me updated at every stage. So happy I offered to marry her! Will try again in 2 years. Lol. Excellent delivery, very good, pleased to do business.

Ross Neilson
Ross Neilson Butchers
52 Broomton Road
Balornock
Glasgow
G21 3RU


Editor Note: Hahahaha, why would I marry a butcher (and I am already married!)? You will smell of sausages :) Having said that, good butchers are quite rich and I would have good supply of belly pork. Hmmm..... So happy you love the Astra Sport Hatch. Mind the blood on the carpets! Lovely to deal with you, you are nutter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1066 / 1529
Ashita says...


NEW MERCEDES SLK 200

Just a short note (adding to the 1,000s already posted online) to say a big, big thank you for delivering our new car to us. The lack of hassle, the speediness of response and the general all round happiness that surrounds you and your team actually makes changing a car fun instead of the horror story it usually is. A lot of “professional” dealerships could learn from you!

At least four different brokers told me that an SLK at the price you delivered was an impossible but clearly you were willing to go the extra mile. Will be back in 24 months to get another plus will be extolling the virtues of leasing from you to anyone who is willing to listen.

Ps. Thank you for the free lunch the Fuku noodles still crack me up every time I look at the packet

Ashita Waterston (Dr)
Address withheld
Balfron
Glasgow
G63 ***


Editor Note: Ashita! Wow, fantastic letter, thanks. You have a damn cheap and damn nice Merc SLK. I will let everyone know with a cancerous tumor that you are the bees-knees to talk to. Make sure you keep your convertible roof in place in certain areas of Glasgow! Have a great time in the car! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1023 / 1529
Jens-Ulrich says...
CarLing ist providing us a fantastic personalised service, her prices are very competitive. She and her staff were doing their atmost to provide the right car on short notice, just in time to go on our holidays. The website is cutting edge and the personal touch of dealing with her customers ensures that you don't want to use any other company again. My Zafira was supplied in time without any problems.

Jens-Ulrich Fischer
22 Dalriada Drive
Torrance
G64 4ES


Editor Note: Achtung! Ulrich, you are a German, us bloody foreigners have to stick together :) Your Zafira was going to be a diesel but due to massive Diesel Particulate Filter problems on these diesel Zafira cars we changed it to a petrol at short notice. You noticed this on German and Austrian Opel Zafira message boards and forums, too. I would not recommend diesel Zafiras. I am so glad you were happy with the petrol one. Hope I met your efficiency standards, I know Germans are keen on doing it right, unlike the bloody French. I have to say you were a wonderful customer; I learned my English watching Dad's Army (really!) and you have burst my imagined German stereotype bubble. Captain Mainwaring is wrong. You are certainly NOT a stupid boy! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 976 / 1529
Scott says...
CarI was very impressed with your quick and helpful responses to my queries before during and after choosing my VW Golf. I would highly recommend Ling to anyone. Good delivery.

Scott Allison
Access Business Communications Ltd
9 Dava Street
Glasgow
G51 2JA


Editor Note: Scott, thanks for letter. This Golf is a great high quality car. Hope you have a great time in Scotland driving around and running your telecoms business. Talk soon :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 940 / 1529
Dominic says...
CarThanks Ling, Great service - the C4 was not my first choice but as it turns out, an even better alternative! I love the sweets (lie), I may even order another car to get more (true). Good delivery, pleasant and efficient.

Dominic Townsend
78 Kingsway
Glasgow
G14 9YS


Editor Note: Dominic, hehehehe, you SHOULD be pleased with the C4, these are great cars, I never get any complaints. The sweets are chosen specially to make you vomit, this is good for you! It is an oral version of that colonic irrigation. Another free service, from Ling! Thanks for the lovely letter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 843 / 1529
Jody says...
CarOnce again a fantastic service. The Lexus IS is a lovely car, I will use you again and again. Thanks Ling (and team!). Excellent delivery by Lexus *****, 1st class.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
Abronhill
Cumbernauld
G67 3AE


Editor Note: Jody, yep, your company has had loads of cars from me. U do my best yo find you the best deals. Great to know that you like my service. Thanks for the letter! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 795 / 1529
Clare says...
CarExcellent service - the best! When I first found your website I thought it was a bit crazy, but the professionalism in dealing with my enquiries convinced me to proceed with the lease of my Renault Megane CC from you. Brilliant - would recommend you to anyone! Excellent delivery.

Clare Morrison
24 Heatherbrae
Bishop Briggs
Glasgow
G64 2TA


Editor Note: Wow, crazy, huh? Many of the other motor dealers think so too. Except I think it is about people, not cars, that's why they say I'm crazzzzzy. Super letter, thanks for sticking with me :) Wait for summer, and get the top down - even in Scotland! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 689 / 1529
Jody says...
CarAs always, Ling will bend over backwards to meet our needs. The new Lexus IS220d is stunning and we hope to do business together for a long time. All emails to Ling are promptly replied to. I love the informal approach - definately a breath of fresh air, thanks Ling! Excellent delivery, very fast, efficient service.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
Abronhill
Cumbernauld
G67 3AE


Editor Note: Jody, thanks for the letter. I have supplied many cars to Auto Expo now, and you have more on order from me. Glad you like the service, I do my very best. Go drive the Lexus! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 677 / 1529
Stefano says...
CarI noticed this LINGsCARS.com website and thought I would give it a try. From start to finish, the leasing of my new SAAB 9-3 Convertible was painless, quick and I wish I had leased my previous cars from Ling. I would recommend Ling to anyone to have a "Happy Valentine's Car". Excellent delivery.

Stefano Bertagna
42 Forth Road
Torrance
Glasgow
G64 4BA


Editor Note: Stefano, as you are in sales (medical sales specialist) I take pleasure in your comments. I always try my best to provide the best sales experience. Hope the bad weather in 2007 hasn't meant you have had the roof up all the time :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 639 / 1529
Andy says...
CarLing provided a top quality service. From the day I indicated initial interest, to the day my new BMW 320i Coupe was delivered, Ling kept me informed personally all the way. Simply the best service I have received anywhere.

Keep up the good work, and when you are the MD of a mega-large company, remember to install your excellent work ethic to those who work for you - thanks again. The car was delivered on time on the date stated, by a delivery person who showed me the car in a professional manner. Excellent!

Andy Murie
21 Campbell Crescent
Bothwell
Glasgow
G71 8HD


Editor Note: Andy, you are a commercial manager of a massive construction company AMEC, so I am very pleased that you measure my service in this way. I always do my best, especially for other ethnic minorities, like Scots :). Please go drive your BMW and once or twice try to avoid cutting people up and let them out of junctions, to try to break the image of the typical BMW driver, hehe. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 604 / 1529
Richard says...
CarThis was my first attempt at leasing and I didn't know what to expect. The process was made so simple and two weeks ahead of schedule - I got my new BMW 3-Series Coupe! Delivery was very simple, the BMW arrived bang on the time specified.

Even though I didn't know what steps were next, Ling didn't get annoyed with me emailing or calling. Thanks for everything, I will definitely be back in two year's time to source my new car. Thanks again!

Richard Stewart
1 Maxwell Lane
Pollokshields
Glasgow
G41 5DW


Editor Note: Hahahaha, you think I should have been ANNOYED with you for renting a car from me? Hmm, even a BMW customer deserves some understanding I think :)... maybe I will start a "punishment" site where customers can go to get shouted at? I am so pleased the BMW came early, I must say this was a new model and equally, some customers have had production delays. I cannot shout at the BMW factory! Still, you were very happy, Richard, that's great! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 572 / 1529
Kevin says...
CarHi Ling,

The car arrived around 11am this morning and I love it.....A nice old retired man from L***** drove it all the way up to Scotland and he is now getting the train back to L*****!!!! I did drive him to the nearest train station and he explained that the initial mileage (340 miles) would be added to my agreement.

It has arrived at a great time as we are all about to head off to the East Coast of Scotland on holiday and we can drive there in style now....I would like to thank you for all of your help and I will be recommending your company to everyone that asks me about how I got hold of such a great car at such a great price......Once again, thanks for all of your help.

Kevin Lines
64 Osprey Drive
Uddington
Glasgow
G71 6HZ


Editor Note: Kevin, you are an Operations Manager for Morrison's supermarket (Grocery and Frozen, peas; buy 2 get 1 free!) and so I am glad you tell me my customer service is good! The Qashqai (but 1 get none free, hehehe) sounds like a funny fruit, eh? The Mackams are working flat out to build these cars - I think this car is the best thing Nissan has done. Thanks for being lovely customer, enjoy holiday - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 455 / 1529
Liz says...
MAZDA MX-5"Hi Ling,

Thank you very much for organising my lovely wee car. The service you provided was impeccable, from beginning to end! Excellent delivery, exactly on time. Excellent communication and good honest personalised service - somewhat a rarity in the car world. See you again in two years."

Liz McAuley
Flat 2/3
120 Duke Street
Glasgow
G4 0XW


Editor Note: From Welsh ethnic customer (below) to Scottish ethnic customer! Thanks for lovely letter, Liz. Hope you enjoy MX5 with top down in bloody cold Scottish weather. You were a very sweet customer - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 406 / 1529
Brian says...
NISSAN NOTE"Instant response and instant decisions. Classic "what you see is what you get" with Ling, nothing is hidden, no cheats or cons - just honest excellent service. Good delivery of my Nissan Note."

Brian Gallagher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
Glasgow
G46 6HL


Editor Note: I swear in this reply, do not read if offended. Brian, you have had 3 cars from me so far and you are repeating customer and tough Scottish ethnic builder, so I shall tell the readers the full story of your car. Hope you don't mind. This shows; a) How CRAP some dealers are, b) How GOOD some individual salesmen are, c) How telling the truth to customers HELPS. Sit comfotably children, we will begin.

Brian ordered a brand-new Nissan Note for his business. Car arrives at dealer, slow to get PDI'd. ??? - When I enquire I am told "had water leak, car FILLED with months of stagnant rainwater from bad windscreen seal, but now mended with new carpets and will deliver". Hmmm. I front up with customer, ask him to inspect screen carefully on delivery and use hosepipe test for leaks. Car gets delivered. Inside "mouldy, dank, unbearable to sit in, sodden, car misting up, makes anyone who sits in it feel sick". WHAT THE FUCK? Dealer admits: "Fleet manager did not want to deliver car, was over-ruled by Nissan Dealer Principal and Service Manager". WELL FUCK THEM! Action? Immediate replacement car for customer, case of wine, mammoth apology from Nissan dealer. That's the story.

You will (hopefully) note the result - Brian the customer writes "Good delivery of my Nissan Note". Not "excellent", but still, he says "good". But he calls my service "excellent". And he does not mention his problem in his letter, how nice is that? Very...

So: FUCK YOU, NISSAN DEALER for being willing to deliver this Nissan shed as a "NEW" car! Twats. Thank you Nissan fleet salesman for instant replacement new car immediately delivered.

(And if I hear one word of objection from Nissan or the Dealer about this being published, I name names then ask Brian the Builder to visit you, don't you dare to threaten me) - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 381 / 1529
Michelle says...
BMW Z4 ROADSTER"Ling, thank you very much. Initially, I was a bit wary about parting with my money over a website, for a car!! However, this is one of the best examples of customer service I have seen for a long time. Hassle free and your sense of humour made me laugh. Very contactable too. Your dealer was excellent, a very friendly guy delivered my BMW Z4 on time."

Michelle Glencorse
G/2, 31 Mount Stuart Street
Glasgow
G41 3AN


Editor Note: You know, last year I had my nephew staying with us (doing A-Levels) so I couldn't have a 2-seater car... I had to have saloon car so I got 3-series. But I really wanted BMW Z4, with red leather. When my own contract comes up in 4-months, I will be getting BMW Z4, myself. I am quite jealous of you and your car, Michelle! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 332 / 1529
Claire says...
car"What can I say? Ling is unique, she's on the ball 24/7 (!!! Just seems like it somedays - Ling). My new Land Rover Freelander arrived so quickly from the excellent dealer; the service from Ling was fantastic. I will always lease my cars from her, she's great."

Claire Vanviere
IPM (Property Management)
18 St Georges Road
Truro
G46 6HL


Editor Note: Claire, so you caught me working at midnight, so what? I guess many firms do that.... what? They don't??? Oh! And when you say I am "Grrrrreat"; remember, I am not damn breakfast cereal, I am meatier than that! ...I notice you are near end of UK. Hope there is Land Rover dealer there, for when it breaks down, hehehe - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 331 / 1529
Brian says...
CITROEN BERLINGO"LINGsCARS is straightforward. "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET". I got a Citroen Berlingo van. There were no hidden costs, unlike Ling's competitors. Ling is great to deal with, I've had no problems at all with her."

Brian Gallacher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
Glasgow
G46 6HL


Editor Note: Ah, as you are builder, maybe I should have asked for half up front then told you I'll be round with your van next month? Only joking, unless I want Glasgow kisser, eh, Brian? I am sure you will enjoy Berlingo, I made sure it had plywood to avoid damage inside - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 296 / 1529
John says...
FORD FOCUS"The Ford Focus 1.4 shudders at 110mph. However it is better when you accelerate through it! Only joking. The car was presented nicely and performs well - giving good mpg."

John Taggart
G5 Graphics
6 St Lukes Business Estate
Glasgow
G5 0TS


Editor Note: You'll MURD'R the car at 110mph, John, MURD'R it! Hehehe, fancy having Taggart name in Glasgow! Glad Focus goes so well. Hope cold Scottish winter ends soon. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 290 / 1529
Stephen says...
NISSAN X-TRAIL"Ling, just a short e-mail just to thank you for your superb help in organising our car. The Nissan X-Trail arrived this afternoon as arranged. Again, many thanks,"

Stephen Reid
14 Rouken Glen Road
Giffnock
Glasgow
G46 7JL


Editor Note: Stephen, just a short reply to tell you GOOD! I am pleased that you are happy. I am glad to deal with Scottish ethnic minority peoples - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 196 / 1529
Lucy says...
CarI'm very pleased with your service. You are always friendly and helpful. I love my new VW Passat and your price for the car was the best. Delivery was on time, and the driver was very good. I will tell all my friends about you.

Lucy Jackson
40 Westfields
Glasgow
G64 3PL


Editor Note: New Passat is very nice car, Lucy. Thanks for letter, I will pass on nice remarks to VW dealer - Ling



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Wah! LATEST:  A teaching union leader says young teachers shying away from taking out mortgages because of uncertainty over their future earnings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:14



Wah! LATEST:  German security researchers say that spoof fingerprint can be used to unlock Samsung's new handset and steal money. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:08



Wah! Wage increases having finally risen above rate of inflation, lah, after four years of falling living standards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:05



Wah! Team ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having named their largest aquatics team in Commonwealth Games history for Glasgow 2014. - news replorted 14:00



Wah! Allegations that 20 Iraqis were murdered by British troops in 2004 were result of "conspiracy" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to pervert course of justice, lah, bloody annoying Blitish claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:52



Wah! A man receives "substantial compensation" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after old bill bobbys wrongly sent male gender human bleing's photograph to media with press release about convicted rapist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:46



Wah! The mayor of city known as stronghold of Mexico's Knights Templar drug cartel is arrested on suspicion of extorting money on cartel's behalf. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 13:29



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Wah! A major motorway has been closed, lah, after crash involving LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine and two lorries resulted in "multiple casualties". - news replorted 13:09



Wah! The leader of youth club in Bristol, lah, who helped remove Banksy artwork from wall with crowbar, lah, says bloody man hopes to sell it at auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:02



Wah! News photos from past 24 hours: 16 rainy season-month Aplil - news replorted 12:54



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Wah! Breaking Bad fan Stefan Montana explains how bloody man got show's star, lah, Bryan Cranston, lah, to help him secure prom date. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:17



Wah! With Easter break fast approaching, lah, IAM (Institute of Advanced Motorists) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and AlcoSense breathalysers remind - news replorted 12:05



Wah! Communities in sub-Saharan Africa being "hurt" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by high fees charged by money transfer operators, lah, charity Comic Relief says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:02



Wah! Just week after opening round in Marrakech, lah, FIA World Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Championship (WTCC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is to make its first eve - news replorted 11:54



Wah! Sir Cyril Smith's membership of Westminster paedophile ring protected him from prosecution, lah, Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:47



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Wah! French hard-disk maker LaCie warns that shoppers' credit cards details and logins may having been stolen from its store over one-year period. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:43



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Wah! The next era in Toyota’s technology development is about to become production reality, lah, with market introduction next - news replorted 11:30



Wah! The Toyotla Corolla claimed world’s best seller status in 2013, lah, with internal data confirming 1.22 million recorded s - news replorted 11:28



Wah! A teachers' union hears that school staff should check families' holiday plans for clues to female genital mutilation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! The Venezuelan government says it will not grant jailed opposition leaders amnesty at talks aimed at ending anti-government protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:17



Wah! The Pata Rondla World Superbike team has announced agreement with Panasonic Powertools Europe that will see Japane - news replorted 11:14



Wah! After serious accident at end of Nürburgring’s Döttinger Höhe straight severely damaged Falken’s Porsche GT3R, lah, - news replorted 11:13



Wah! Rock musician Paul Weller wins RMB Yuan #10,000 in damages after Mail Online published pictures of male gender human bleing's children. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:11



Wah! A "monstrous" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sex attacker who raped five women and sexually abused sixth was given lifelong restriction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Rolls-Royce Ghost has proven to be no ordinary power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! It has been cornerstone of our success around world since - news replorted 11:03



Wah! Today at 2014 New York International Auto Show, lah, Rolls-Royce Wraith was named one of Edmunds.com’s Top Rated vehicling driving car machines - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Today at 2014 New York International Auto Show, lah, Rolls-Royce Motor Cars debuts Ghost Series II to North America. Ai-yaa!!! Ghos - news replorted 11:00



Wah! A 57-earth-years old happy birthday to you, woman is arrested by detectives investigating 1972 abduction and murder of Belfast woman Jean McConville. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:57



Wah! A block of flats is evacuated and residents treated for smoke inhalation following suspicious fire in Dumbiedykes Road, lah, Edinburgh. - news replorted 10:56



Wah! The boom and bust of men's beard fashions may mirror Darwinian selection, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:56



Wah! A female fan who hit South Sydney's Province of Engrish running-dogs forward Sam Burgess on head with stick at NRL game apologises. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:44



Wah! Unemployment in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land rose by 3,000 to 179,000 between Jesus-baby month Decemblinger and Febliurary 2014, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:35



Wah! The number of human bliengs out of work in bloody annoying Blitish has fallen by 77,000 to five year low of 2.24 million in three months to February, lah, official figures indicate. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:34



Wah! Passenger ferry in South Korea capsizes - news replorted 10:30



Wah! A old bill bobbys officer who allegedly threatened to shoot hospital patient with Taser is suspended. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! Unemployment has fallen in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep by 6,000 to 102,000 in last quarter and now stands at 6.8%, lah, according to official figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:17



Wah! Saudi Arabia's intelligence chief, lah, Prince Bandar bin Sultan, lah, has been removed from male gender human bleing's Mandleson privatising post machine system "at male gender human bleing's own request", lah, state media report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:12



Wah! Thirty-five years after withdrawing from motorsport following its win in 1978 Le Mans 24 Hours, lah, Alpine made its eage - news replorted 10:10



Wah! China's economy grew 7.4% in first three months of year - slightly better than expected, lah, but below government's target. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! Arsenal's Arsene Wenger hopes Everton slip up in race for fourth, lah, but Roberto Martinez says male gender human bleing's side under no pressure. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Premier League players at Manchester City best paid in global sport, lah, according to recently published report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:57



Wah! The IMI is warning automotive employers not to disregard management training if they wish to reach their maximum potenti - news replorted 09:57



Wah! After nearly six years of falling living standards, lah, weekly earnings having finally edged above inflation, lah, according to Office for National Statistics. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:52



Wah! Starbucks is to move its European head office to London (capital of Great England) by end of year, lah, meaning it will pay more tax in UK, lah, capitalist entity says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:52



Wah! Senior Labour politician Ed Balls is being investigated by old bill bobbys after male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine hit parked vehicling driving car machine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:48



Wah! A new version of Milli Countryman – first Milli to feature four doors, lah, five seats and optional all-wheel-drive – w - news replorted 09:44



Wah! Kia took wraps off all-new 2015 Sedona midsize MPV at New York International Auto Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! all-new Sedona’s - news replorted 09:41



Wah! The European Parliament is to vote on bill to draw up blacklist of invasive alien species, lah, such as killer shrimp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 09:32



Wah! British commanders must "bear degree of responsibility" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for failure to prevent Taliban raid in Afghanistan in 2012 that left two Great Satan marines dead, lah, group of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:29



Wah! A forensics expert continues to testify at Oscar Pistorius' murder trial in South Africa day after athlete finished male gender human bleing's seven days of testimony. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:28



Wah! Readers' photos on theme of "South Africa" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - news replorted 09:27



Wah! Esther McVey, lah, Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheater who represents Merseyside constituency, lah, apologises for political tweet sent during Hillsborough memorial service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:27



Wah! Dementia services across Welsh land of sheep and more sheep not sustainable and changes need to be made to cope with future demand, lah, review finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:14



Wah! Live coverage of trial of South African athlete Oscar Pistorius, lah, who denies premeditated murder of male gender human bleing's girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp on Valentine's Day 2013. - news replorted 09:05



Wah! Ducati introduces Multistrada 1200 S Touring D|air model, lah, featuring integrated, lah, intelligent safety system wireles - news replorted 09:05



Wah! Hyundai Motor has launched new multi-platform digital campaign in Europe called ‘A World of Limits’, lah, to promote un - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Amir Khan improves male gender human bleing's chances of landing lucrative showdown with Floyd Mayweather by teaming up with Al Haymon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:58



Wah! Swiss capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Credit Suisse has found nothing "materially untoward" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in how it trades Bloody foreign currencies, lah, finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan officer David Mathers has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:51



Wah! Biz Stone discusses male gender human bleing's new social app Jelly which bloody man hopes will encourage human bliengs to help each other out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:26



Wah! Searches take place for man seen getting into difficulty in lake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:20



Wah! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - and Prince George - arrive in Sydney on tenth day of their tour of New Zealand and Australia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:09



Wah! Mazda Motor Corporation will unveil new Madzla MX-5 Miata (Japanese name: Madzla Roadster) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! 25th Anniversary Edition sp - news replorted 08:00



Wah! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge having been meeting well wishers at Sydney Opera House after arriving for Australian leg of their tour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:43



Wah! In flemale human person's latest column, lah, Casey Stoney discusses Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Arsenal's hopes for season and WSL's debt to Liverpool - news replorted 07:43



Wah! Sunderland manager Gus Poyet dismisses rumours bloody man is about to quit Premier League strugglers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:26



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish supermarket giant Tesco announces 6% fall in annual group trading profit to RMB Yuan #3.3bn, lah, second year that profits having fallen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:21



Wah! Children suffering mental health crisis in Province of Engrish running-dogs being forced into old bill bobbys custody because 35% of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) "places of safety" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) ban under 16s, lah, figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:16



Wah! The Archbishop of Welsh land of sheep and more sheep urges bloody annoying Blitish government to tackle national hunger crisis as figures show big rise in numbers using foodbanks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:53



Wah! Claims that steroid dealers exploiting publicly-funded drug testing service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service aimed at users of legal highs denied. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:44



Wah! A man's dying wish to appear on comedy stage is fulfilled when one of male gender human bleing's friends performs at club accompanied by male gender human bleing's ashes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:35



Wah! The number of needles issued by exchange scheme in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers rises by more than 50% in past four years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:34



Wah! An exact replica of iconic Downpatrick High Cross, lah, weighing around one tonne, lah, is being installed in front of Down Cathedral on Wednesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:25



Wah! New South Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Premier Barry O'Farrell announces male gender human bleing's resignation amid mounting evidence that bloody man failed to declare gift of $2,800 wine. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:17



Wah! Edinburgh City Council write garbling written down on paper message to parents confirming that Liberton High will reopen after Easter break following death of pupil. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:12



Wah! A report has found around quarter of bullied students felt it was causing their grades to slip. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 06:02



Wah! There will be serious long-term consequences if Russia continues to destabilise Ukraine, lah, Bloody foreign Secretary William Hague says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:51



Wah! Russian President Vladimir Putin warns that Ukraine is "on brink of civil war" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as Kiev sends in troops against pro-Russia separatists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:28



Wah! A major rescue operation is under way after ferry carrying 476 human bliengs capsized off South Korea, lah, coastguard officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:47



Wah! How New Zealand reacted to William, lah, Kate - and George - news replorted 04:44



Wah! Bowel cancer screening uptake needs to improve, lah, campaigners say, lah, after figures showed just half of human bliengs eligible in Province of Engrish running-dogs come forward for test. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:24



Wah! The European Parliament is voting on bill to draw up blacklist to fight spread of invasive alien species such as killer shrimp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 04:21



Wah! Music at UB40 concert was so loud it was "altering heart rhythms" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and caused fan's ear to bleed, lah, it is claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:08



Wah! Parents across Province of Engrish running-dogs going to find whether they having their preferred choice of primary school place. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:00



Wah! A new AMG high-performance automobile is all set for its world premiere in autumn of 2014. Mercedes-AMG GT will - news replorted 04:00



Wah! China's economy expanded by 7.4% in first quarter of year, lah, better than expected but down from 7.7% at end of 2013. - news replorted 03:36



Wah! Birds learn to choose the best building materials for their nests, lah, rather than building from instinct, lah, say scientists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:55



Wah! The Great Satan tells China its currency must be allowed to rise if its own and rest of world's economy to see stable growth. - news replorted 02:28



Wah! A ferry with about 350 human bliengs on board is sinking off south-west coast of South Korea, lah, coast guard officials having said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:15



Wah! A robotic submarine resumes its search for missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 on seabed of southern Indian Ocean. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:48



Wah! Who was buried behind boys' school in Florida? - news replorted 01:24



Wah! What mysterious sequences of numbers read out on shortwave radio? - news replorted 01:17



Wah! Children's uplifting letters of hope to homeless Syrians - news replorted 01:10



Wah! Son of slain Sikh leader running for Great Satan Congress - news replorted 01:07



Wah! China's economic reform agenda could slow growth on mainland, lah, first quarter economic figures will be closely watched. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:07



Wah! Why Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Two's launch was not all right on night - news replorted 01:06



Wah! Trying to getting into Europe from Morocco - news replorted 00:56



Wah! The abandoned hamlet its mayor wantings to give away - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Secretary Alistair Carmichael promises to deliver greater powers for Northern and Western Isles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23



Wah! The New York old bill bobbys department shutters secret programme designed to listen to and track Muslims in city's neighbourhoods to identify threats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! A charity's report that it handed out almost one million food parcels in last year makes headlines, lah, while Daily Express questions one mother's using of benefit system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! How 3D printing is changing shape of lessons - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Lord Tebbit, lah, former Tory dodgy minister and party chairman turns male gender human bleing's hand to writing children's novel, lah, central character being 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy left paralysed after LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine crash. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Hundreds of thousands more human bliengs turning to food banks to stop themselves from going hungry, lah, says charity Trussell Trust. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:00



Wah! Lewis Hamilton is driving as well as at any clock time result in male gender human bleing's career, lah, according to Merceding-Blend co-team boss Paddy Lowe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:00



Wah! Would this dessert taste different on black plate? - news replorted 00:00



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