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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1525 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTAI was a first time leaser, I was told about Ling's, not too sure when I looked at other sites. All I can say is I kept going back to Ling's, glad I did. A wacky but worthwhile experience, got the car I wanted (Fiesta) at the best price… Dealer Service – Good – No complaints.

David Mcculloch
48 Calderglen Avenue
Blantyre
Glasgow
G72 9UN


Editor Note: No complaints, no regrets :) And you will not regret the Fiesta which is just about the best small car you can get. I especially appreciate you say I had the best price, as you are Scottish :) hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1520 / 1528
Helen says...
MAZDA 6Ling's service has been excellent. She kept me informed every step of the way and car arrived on specified date. I would highly recommend her service. I also got insurance from the broker she recommended and it was great too! Dealer Service – Excellent.

Helen Mcdowell
The Orchard
Main Road
Cardross
G82 5JX


Editor Note: What can I say, Helen? ... Everything was "excellent", including your choice of car, the Mazda 6. It was a bargain for a sporty 5 seat family car. Hope you enjoy it zooping around the lake district. Thanks for being so lovely to deal with. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1471 / 1528
Andrew says...
 Amazingly fast transaction, faultless professionalism. See you in two years for another. Dealer Service – EXCELLENT. True gent delivering car in pristine condition.

Andrew Neilson
4 Fintry Gardens
Glasgow
G61 4RJ


Editor Note: Andrew, fantastic! How great that I am getting such nice letters from Mercedes customers, as Merc UK are trying to kill my supply of new cars. I really think that I can beat Merc at their own "quality" game. Fantastic letter, thanks. Enjoy the CLK. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1406 / 1528
Adnan says...
 Truly exceptional service. Beats all the other competitors in the market. Trust me when I say it is a ''personalised' service that Ling has set up! Response are near instant and a history of all communications is kept in one 'Lingo' page so you can always go back if you lose your way. Super dooper. Excellent delivery of my new M3 by the BMW dealer!

Adnan Ali
14 Meadowhill
Newton Mearns
Glasgow
G77 6SX


Editor Note: BMW UK, are you listening? BMW UK are being consistent bastards to me by trying to get me to stop supplying their new cars. They send a solicitor letter every week. However, I will not be brow-beaten. If BMW UK read this letter, they can see how my service is actually better than theirs, as they manage nowhere near the communication excellence and customer satisfaction I achieve. This was a BMW M3, a £50k car! That Adnan thought I beat every other competitor for service makes me very happy. All customers get the same treatment - the very best in the industry. BMW UK, feel free to apologise for bullying me with your multi-£million lawyer budgets and threats. Thanks for comments, Adnan. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1234 / 1528
Scott says...
 This is our third car ordered from Ling and as usual the customer service has been quick and excellent. I would highly recommend LINGsCARS and will keep using Ling for our fleet requirements. Good delivery on the SAAB, no problems to report.

Scott Allison
Abica Ltd
9 Dava Street
Glasgow
G51 2JA


Editor Note: Scott, job done! Good customer on your 3rd car from me, next car I send you free mats! Each mat pack contains 4 mats, which means you will have one for each car - easy. How lovely it is to deal with you, Scott, and it's so easy to remember the name of someone who is called after the country he lives in :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1076 / 1528
Ross says...
 This is my 3rd contract hire, first from Ling, and won't be the last. Very, very good. Delivered on time. She kept me updated at every stage. So happy I offered to marry her! Will try again in 2 years. Lol. Excellent delivery, very good, pleased to do business.

Ross Neilson
Ross Neilson Butchers
52 Broomton Road
Balornock
Glasgow
G21 3RU


Editor Note: Hahahaha, why would I marry a butcher (and I am already married!)? You will smell of sausages :) Having said that, good butchers are quite rich and I would have good supply of belly pork. Hmmm..... So happy you love the Astra Sport Hatch. Mind the blood on the carpets! Lovely to deal with you, you are nutter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1066 / 1528
Ashita says...


NEW MERCEDES SLK 200

Just a short note (adding to the 1,000s already posted online) to say a big, big thank you for delivering our new car to us. The lack of hassle, the speediness of response and the general all round happiness that surrounds you and your team actually makes changing a car fun instead of the horror story it usually is. A lot of “professional” dealerships could learn from you!

At least four different brokers told me that an SLK at the price you delivered was an impossible but clearly you were willing to go the extra mile. Will be back in 24 months to get another plus will be extolling the virtues of leasing from you to anyone who is willing to listen.

Ps. Thank you for the free lunch the Fuku noodles still crack me up every time I look at the packet

Ashita Waterston (Dr)
Address withheld
Balfron
Glasgow
G63 ***


Editor Note: Ashita! Wow, fantastic letter, thanks. You have a damn cheap and damn nice Merc SLK. I will let everyone know with a cancerous tumor that you are the bees-knees to talk to. Make sure you keep your convertible roof in place in certain areas of Glasgow! Have a great time in the car! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1023 / 1528
Jens-Ulrich says...
CarLing ist providing us a fantastic personalised service, her prices are very competitive. She and her staff were doing their atmost to provide the right car on short notice, just in time to go on our holidays. The website is cutting edge and the personal touch of dealing with her customers ensures that you don't want to use any other company again. My Zafira was supplied in time without any problems.

Jens-Ulrich Fischer
22 Dalriada Drive
Torrance
G64 4ES


Editor Note: Achtung! Ulrich, you are a German, us bloody foreigners have to stick together :) Your Zafira was going to be a diesel but due to massive Diesel Particulate Filter problems on these diesel Zafira cars we changed it to a petrol at short notice. You noticed this on German and Austrian Opel Zafira message boards and forums, too. I would not recommend diesel Zafiras. I am so glad you were happy with the petrol one. Hope I met your efficiency standards, I know Germans are keen on doing it right, unlike the bloody French. I have to say you were a wonderful customer; I learned my English watching Dad's Army (really!) and you have burst my imagined German stereotype bubble. Captain Mainwaring is wrong. You are certainly NOT a stupid boy! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 976 / 1528
Scott says...
CarI was very impressed with your quick and helpful responses to my queries before during and after choosing my VW Golf. I would highly recommend Ling to anyone. Good delivery.

Scott Allison
Access Business Communications Ltd
9 Dava Street
Glasgow
G51 2JA


Editor Note: Scott, thanks for letter. This Golf is a great high quality car. Hope you have a great time in Scotland driving around and running your telecoms business. Talk soon :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 940 / 1528
Dominic says...
CarThanks Ling, Great service - the C4 was not my first choice but as it turns out, an even better alternative! I love the sweets (lie), I may even order another car to get more (true). Good delivery, pleasant and efficient.

Dominic Townsend
78 Kingsway
Glasgow
G14 9YS


Editor Note: Dominic, hehehehe, you SHOULD be pleased with the C4, these are great cars, I never get any complaints. The sweets are chosen specially to make you vomit, this is good for you! It is an oral version of that colonic irrigation. Another free service, from Ling! Thanks for the lovely letter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 843 / 1528
Jody says...
CarOnce again a fantastic service. The Lexus IS is a lovely car, I will use you again and again. Thanks Ling (and team!). Excellent delivery by Lexus *****, 1st class.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
Abronhill
Cumbernauld
G67 3AE


Editor Note: Jody, yep, your company has had loads of cars from me. U do my best yo find you the best deals. Great to know that you like my service. Thanks for the letter! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 795 / 1528
Clare says...
CarExcellent service - the best! When I first found your website I thought it was a bit crazy, but the professionalism in dealing with my enquiries convinced me to proceed with the lease of my Renault Megane CC from you. Brilliant - would recommend you to anyone! Excellent delivery.

Clare Morrison
24 Heatherbrae
Bishop Briggs
Glasgow
G64 2TA


Editor Note: Wow, crazy, huh? Many of the other motor dealers think so too. Except I think it is about people, not cars, that's why they say I'm crazzzzzy. Super letter, thanks for sticking with me :) Wait for summer, and get the top down - even in Scotland! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 689 / 1528
Jody says...
CarAs always, Ling will bend over backwards to meet our needs. The new Lexus IS220d is stunning and we hope to do business together for a long time. All emails to Ling are promptly replied to. I love the informal approach - definately a breath of fresh air, thanks Ling! Excellent delivery, very fast, efficient service.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
Abronhill
Cumbernauld
G67 3AE


Editor Note: Jody, thanks for the letter. I have supplied many cars to Auto Expo now, and you have more on order from me. Glad you like the service, I do my very best. Go drive the Lexus! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 677 / 1528
Stefano says...
CarI noticed this LINGsCARS.com website and thought I would give it a try. From start to finish, the leasing of my new SAAB 9-3 Convertible was painless, quick and I wish I had leased my previous cars from Ling. I would recommend Ling to anyone to have a "Happy Valentine's Car". Excellent delivery.

Stefano Bertagna
42 Forth Road
Torrance
Glasgow
G64 4BA


Editor Note: Stefano, as you are in sales (medical sales specialist) I take pleasure in your comments. I always try my best to provide the best sales experience. Hope the bad weather in 2007 hasn't meant you have had the roof up all the time :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 639 / 1528
Andy says...
CarLing provided a top quality service. From the day I indicated initial interest, to the day my new BMW 320i Coupe was delivered, Ling kept me informed personally all the way. Simply the best service I have received anywhere.

Keep up the good work, and when you are the MD of a mega-large company, remember to install your excellent work ethic to those who work for you - thanks again. The car was delivered on time on the date stated, by a delivery person who showed me the car in a professional manner. Excellent!

Andy Murie
21 Campbell Crescent
Bothwell
Glasgow
G71 8HD


Editor Note: Andy, you are a commercial manager of a massive construction company AMEC, so I am very pleased that you measure my service in this way. I always do my best, especially for other ethnic minorities, like Scots :). Please go drive your BMW and once or twice try to avoid cutting people up and let them out of junctions, to try to break the image of the typical BMW driver, hehe. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 604 / 1528
Richard says...
CarThis was my first attempt at leasing and I didn't know what to expect. The process was made so simple and two weeks ahead of schedule - I got my new BMW 3-Series Coupe! Delivery was very simple, the BMW arrived bang on the time specified.

Even though I didn't know what steps were next, Ling didn't get annoyed with me emailing or calling. Thanks for everything, I will definitely be back in two year's time to source my new car. Thanks again!

Richard Stewart
1 Maxwell Lane
Pollokshields
Glasgow
G41 5DW


Editor Note: Hahahaha, you think I should have been ANNOYED with you for renting a car from me? Hmm, even a BMW customer deserves some understanding I think :)... maybe I will start a "punishment" site where customers can go to get shouted at? I am so pleased the BMW came early, I must say this was a new model and equally, some customers have had production delays. I cannot shout at the BMW factory! Still, you were very happy, Richard, that's great! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 572 / 1528
Kevin says...
CarHi Ling,

The car arrived around 11am this morning and I love it.....A nice old retired man from L***** drove it all the way up to Scotland and he is now getting the train back to L*****!!!! I did drive him to the nearest train station and he explained that the initial mileage (340 miles) would be added to my agreement.

It has arrived at a great time as we are all about to head off to the East Coast of Scotland on holiday and we can drive there in style now....I would like to thank you for all of your help and I will be recommending your company to everyone that asks me about how I got hold of such a great car at such a great price......Once again, thanks for all of your help.

Kevin Lines
64 Osprey Drive
Uddington
Glasgow
G71 6HZ


Editor Note: Kevin, you are an Operations Manager for Morrison's supermarket (Grocery and Frozen, peas; buy 2 get 1 free!) and so I am glad you tell me my customer service is good! The Qashqai (but 1 get none free, hehehe) sounds like a funny fruit, eh? The Mackams are working flat out to build these cars - I think this car is the best thing Nissan has done. Thanks for being lovely customer, enjoy holiday - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 455 / 1528
Liz says...
MAZDA MX-5"Hi Ling,

Thank you very much for organising my lovely wee car. The service you provided was impeccable, from beginning to end! Excellent delivery, exactly on time. Excellent communication and good honest personalised service - somewhat a rarity in the car world. See you again in two years."

Liz McAuley
Flat 2/3
120 Duke Street
Glasgow
G4 0XW


Editor Note: From Welsh ethnic customer (below) to Scottish ethnic customer! Thanks for lovely letter, Liz. Hope you enjoy MX5 with top down in bloody cold Scottish weather. You were a very sweet customer - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 406 / 1528
Brian says...
NISSAN NOTE"Instant response and instant decisions. Classic "what you see is what you get" with Ling, nothing is hidden, no cheats or cons - just honest excellent service. Good delivery of my Nissan Note."

Brian Gallagher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
Glasgow
G46 6HL


Editor Note: I swear in this reply, do not read if offended. Brian, you have had 3 cars from me so far and you are repeating customer and tough Scottish ethnic builder, so I shall tell the readers the full story of your car. Hope you don't mind. This shows; a) How CRAP some dealers are, b) How GOOD some individual salesmen are, c) How telling the truth to customers HELPS. Sit comfotably children, we will begin.

Brian ordered a brand-new Nissan Note for his business. Car arrives at dealer, slow to get PDI'd. ??? - When I enquire I am told "had water leak, car FILLED with months of stagnant rainwater from bad windscreen seal, but now mended with new carpets and will deliver". Hmmm. I front up with customer, ask him to inspect screen carefully on delivery and use hosepipe test for leaks. Car gets delivered. Inside "mouldy, dank, unbearable to sit in, sodden, car misting up, makes anyone who sits in it feel sick". WHAT THE FUCK? Dealer admits: "Fleet manager did not want to deliver car, was over-ruled by Nissan Dealer Principal and Service Manager". WELL FUCK THEM! Action? Immediate replacement car for customer, case of wine, mammoth apology from Nissan dealer. That's the story.

You will (hopefully) note the result - Brian the customer writes "Good delivery of my Nissan Note". Not "excellent", but still, he says "good". But he calls my service "excellent". And he does not mention his problem in his letter, how nice is that? Very...

So: FUCK YOU, NISSAN DEALER for being willing to deliver this Nissan shed as a "NEW" car! Twats. Thank you Nissan fleet salesman for instant replacement new car immediately delivered.

(And if I hear one word of objection from Nissan or the Dealer about this being published, I name names then ask Brian the Builder to visit you, don't you dare to threaten me) - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 381 / 1528
Michelle says...
BMW Z4 ROADSTER"Ling, thank you very much. Initially, I was a bit wary about parting with my money over a website, for a car!! However, this is one of the best examples of customer service I have seen for a long time. Hassle free and your sense of humour made me laugh. Very contactable too. Your dealer was excellent, a very friendly guy delivered my BMW Z4 on time."

Michelle Glencorse
G/2, 31 Mount Stuart Street
Glasgow
G41 3AN


Editor Note: You know, last year I had my nephew staying with us (doing A-Levels) so I couldn't have a 2-seater car... I had to have saloon car so I got 3-series. But I really wanted BMW Z4, with red leather. When my own contract comes up in 4-months, I will be getting BMW Z4, myself. I am quite jealous of you and your car, Michelle! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 332 / 1528
Claire says...
car"What can I say? Ling is unique, she's on the ball 24/7 (!!! Just seems like it somedays - Ling). My new Land Rover Freelander arrived so quickly from the excellent dealer; the service from Ling was fantastic. I will always lease my cars from her, she's great."

Claire Vanviere
IPM (Property Management)
18 St Georges Road
Truro
G46 6HL


Editor Note: Claire, so you caught me working at midnight, so what? I guess many firms do that.... what? They don't??? Oh! And when you say I am "Grrrrreat"; remember, I am not damn breakfast cereal, I am meatier than that! ...I notice you are near end of UK. Hope there is Land Rover dealer there, for when it breaks down, hehehe - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 331 / 1528
Brian says...
CITROEN BERLINGO"LINGsCARS is straightforward. "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET". I got a Citroen Berlingo van. There were no hidden costs, unlike Ling's competitors. Ling is great to deal with, I've had no problems at all with her."

Brian Gallacher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
Glasgow
G46 6HL


Editor Note: Ah, as you are builder, maybe I should have asked for half up front then told you I'll be round with your van next month? Only joking, unless I want Glasgow kisser, eh, Brian? I am sure you will enjoy Berlingo, I made sure it had plywood to avoid damage inside - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 296 / 1528
John says...
FORD FOCUS"The Ford Focus 1.4 shudders at 110mph. However it is better when you accelerate through it! Only joking. The car was presented nicely and performs well - giving good mpg."

John Taggart
G5 Graphics
6 St Lukes Business Estate
Glasgow
G5 0TS


Editor Note: You'll MURD'R the car at 110mph, John, MURD'R it! Hehehe, fancy having Taggart name in Glasgow! Glad Focus goes so well. Hope cold Scottish winter ends soon. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 290 / 1528
Stephen says...
NISSAN X-TRAIL"Ling, just a short e-mail just to thank you for your superb help in organising our car. The Nissan X-Trail arrived this afternoon as arranged. Again, many thanks,"

Stephen Reid
14 Rouken Glen Road
Giffnock
Glasgow
G46 7JL


Editor Note: Stephen, just a short reply to tell you GOOD! I am pleased that you are happy. I am glad to deal with Scottish ethnic minority peoples - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 196 / 1528
Lucy says...
CarI'm very pleased with your service. You are always friendly and helpful. I love my new VW Passat and your price for the car was the best. Delivery was on time, and the driver was very good. I will tell all my friends about you.

Lucy Jackson
40 Westfields
Glasgow
G64 3PL


Editor Note: New Passat is very nice car, Lucy. Thanks for letter, I will pass on nice remarks to VW dealer - Ling



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Wah! Could leaving EU cost you tellibly lovely custlingmer more to using your as really velly special customer's phone abroad? Rory Cellan-Jones has been finding out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 20:07



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Wah! Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR recreation Heading outside bloody annoying Blitish for its international debut at Classic Race Aarhus in Denmark this weekend, lah, 28th and 29th May - news replorted 14:15



Wah! Administrators of menswear retailer Austin Reed say 120 stores to close, lah, affecting 1,000 jobs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:10



Wah! More than 45 million human bliengs living in modern slavery, lah, with Asia accounting for two thirds of victims, lah, new report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:06



Wah! Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood has become father again at age of 68. - news replorted 14:04



Wah! Marcus Rashford and Daniel Sturridge included in Province of Engrish running-dogs's squad for Euro 2016 but Andros Townsend and Danny Drinkwater miss out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:04



Wah! A mother is abused online after flemale human person's son falls into zoo pen - news replorted 13:59



Wah! A Slovakian model who shot dead flemale human person's millionaire ex-boyfriend is jailed for 15 years after bloody woman is convicted of male gender human bleing's murder on Costa del Sol. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:47



Wah! Volkswagen Golf Match BlueMotion Edition Wlokswaglon is extending appeal of its renowned Golf range of family hatchback models with introduction of gene - news replorted 13:40



Wah! SsangYong Tivoli XLV SsangYong has announced new Tivoli XLV, lah, extended body model of its already popular Tivoli compact SUV. - news replorted 13:17



Wah! More than 400 million hacked account IDs from Tumblr and MySpace being offered for sale on net. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:14



Wah! What to when there's no public loo - news replorted 13:00



Wah! old bill bobbys to re-open their investigation into killings of 10 workmen in Kingsmills massacre following discovery of new evidence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:48



Wah! Jorge Lorenzo SHARK Helmets has launched promotion across its UK, bloody dealering idiot place network for one lucky SHARK Race-R PRO Lorenzo Replica owner - news replorted 12:47



Wah! L:R Simon kidton, lah, Dominik Fischlin, lah, Dr Khalil Karam, lah, Corrado and son second FIVA preservation award for 2016 – presented at top historic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine events around world – was given to Corra - news replorted 12:35



Wah! Glastonbury announces its full line-up, lah, adding chart toppers Lewisham and Greenwich NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Choir and Blur frontman Damon Albarn to bill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:31



Wah! Greg Brain, lah, whose family face deportation from UK, lah, says bloody man feels they having been "set up to fail". - news replorted 12:30



Wah! Remain-backing dodgy minister Sajid Javid says leaving EU would be bad for small businesses - but Vote Leave says it would free them from "red tape". - news replorted 12:29



Wah! Ferrari 458 MM Speciale Ferrari has unveiled its latest One-Off creation during car’s first shakedown on Fiorano circuit in hands of - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Hyundai Motor bloody annoying Blitish is official LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine partner to Welsh land of sheep and more sheep Rally GB Ryundali Motor bloody annoying Blitish is delighted to announce that, lah, for third successive season, lah, it will partner Britain’s round of - news replorted 12:19



Wah! ‘The Most Beautiful Race in World’ JD Classics – one of world’s leading classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine specialists – has launched its teaser Mille Miglia film, lah, giving vie - news replorted 12:19



Wah! James Anderson replaces Province of Engrish running-dogs team-mate Stuart Broad at top of International damn crazy Engrish baseball game Council Test bowling rankings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:13



Wah! Mother Rachel Fee and flemale human person's partner Nyomi found guilty of murdering flemale human person's two-earth-years old happy birthday to you, son Liam Fee in Fife in 2014. - news replorted 12:12



Wah! Silverstone Classic -  Classic Father's day gift Coveted tickets to world’s biggest classic motor racing festival great way to spoil dads on Father’s Day, lah, fast - news replorted 12:11



Wah! World number one Novak Djokovic loses first set to Roberto Bautista Agut before rain returns at French Open in Paris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:01



Wah! Dan Aykroyd, lah, actor who played Ray Stantz in original Ghostbusters film, lah, has praised upcoming remake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:01



Wah! The chief executive of failing NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) trust which has come under serious scrutiny has left male gender human bleing's job. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 11:56



Wah! obp Motorsport, lah, high performance parts specialists, lah, please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce their sponsorship of BRSCC’s Avon Ty - news replorted 11:54



Wah! Double win for Pechito López at Nürburgring José María López proved unstoppable at legendary Nürburgring Nordschleife by securing double victory at FIA WT - news replorted 11:48



Wah! Conservative activist Elliott Johnson killed by train, lah, had previously tried to end male gender human bleing's life on three separate occasions, lah, inquest hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:44



Wah! A vegan cafe in Tbilisi appeals for public solidarity after being invaded by alleged ultra-nationalists wielding grilled meat and sausages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Militants from so-called Islamic State launch dawn counter-attack as Iraqi government troops push into city of Falluja. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:41



Wah! Germany's top court rules in favour of hip-hop artist in copyright arglingument with pioneering electro-pop band Kraftwerk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:14



Wah! Germany's unemployment rate fell to record low in May, lah, while jobless rate across eurozone fell to 10.2% in April. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:14



Wah! Actress Kate Beckinsale, lah, daughter of late Richard Beckinsale, lah, gives flemale human person's blessing to return of flemale human person's father's classic sitcom Porridge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! The first dodgy minister puts forward James Wolffe QC and Alison Di Rollo as flemale human person's candidates for Lord Advocate and Solicitor General. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:07



Wah! Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Jess Phillips has received around 5,000 abusive posts on Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) after launching campaign against online bullying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:05



Wah! NSX Total Airflow Management CFD Airflow Paths Specifically created to bring ‘New Sports eXperience’ to supercar segment, lah, new Rondla NSX challenges statu - news replorted 11:05



Wah! Scientists in California testing spongy material made with key ingredient of baking soda as means of capturing carbon emissions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! Pupils in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land doing less well in maths, lah, according to latest Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:02



Wah! Advanced Innovative Engineering rotary engine total of 14 leading engine technology innovators displaying their products in bloody annoying Blitish Pavilion at Engine Expo 2016, lah, - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Sir Elton John hopes to "find clock time result in future to meet" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Vladimir Putin after proposed chat between two was cancelled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:50



Wah! Volkswagen Group reports solid opening quarter to 2016 In first quarter of current fiscal year, lah, Wlokswaglon Group delivered solid performance in challenging mar - news replorted 10:46



Wah! The Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Assembly is set to meet for first clock time result since new team of dodgy ministers were appointed to power-sharing executive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! A court begins hearing case of Argentina and Barcelona footballer Lionel Messi who is charged with defrauding Spain of more than €4m (RMB Yuan #3m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in tax. - news replorted 10:31



Wah! A second consecutive podium finish for Plugleot 208 WRX 2015 FIA WRX vice-champion Timmy Hansen bounced back from tough start to season to claim (always claiming, huh?) podium finish at Ly - news replorted 10:09



Wah! Sytner Group has raised RMB Yuan #27,721 for BEN, lah, via its online auction site, lah, during year of epic fundraising. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:00



Wah! DS sponsors visual art honour at South capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Sky Arts Awards 2016 DS Automobiles is supporting creative excellence in arts, lah, by sponsoring Visual Art accolade at South capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Sk - news replorted 09:56



Wah! The polls suggest ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is leaning towards Remain vote in EU referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! James Naughtie went to Glasgow to find out why. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:31



Wah! The first set of photographs featuring some cast members of Harry Potter and Cursed Child in costume has been released. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:31



Wah! Renault Sport Racing to continue Red Bull technologies partnership Renliot Sport Racing and Red Bull Racing please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to confirm they will continue their ongoing partnership for sup - news replorted 09:08



Wah! Kevin Magnussen Monaco GP 2016 Renliot Sport Formula One Team suffered disappointing double retirement from eventful Monaco Grand Prix. - news replorted 09:06



Wah! The FTSE 100 rose on Tuesday following holiday on Monday, lah, as Super-Duper-Chinese-State stock markets posted their biggest daily gain for three months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:48



Wah! Volkswagen profit tumbles 20% in first three months of 2016 as it continues to grapple with diesel emissions scandal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:46



Wah! The secret stories and key characteristics that transformed six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, stand-in keeper into most exciting Province of Engrish running-dogs striker for decade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:44



Wah! A second Membling Partiamentary expense cheater is to run for Mandleson privatising post machine system of elected mayor for Liverpool City Region. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:01



Wah! Poland's justice dodgy minister says bloody man will appeal in supreme court against decision not to extradite film director Roman Polanski to Great Satan for statutory rape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:49



Wah! One-armed shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton finishes career-best third in Fiji Women's Pro surfing event. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:35



Wah! JK Rowling's work under pseudonym Robert Galbraith is shortlisted for prestigious crime (shoud shoot them) novel award. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:33



Wah! Seventeen soldiers die in fire at military ammunition depot in western Maharashtra state, lah, Indian Tommy Atkins Liberation Army officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:06



Wah! Iraqi forces continuing second day of their assault to retake city of Falluja from so-called Islamic State group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 05:57



Wah! Leading figures in campaign for Britain to leave European Union say they wanting to be able to scrap govornment stealing VAT unfair sales taxing on fuel to help poorest households. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:14



Wah! French railway workers to go on strike in latest in series of protests against planned labour reforms, lah, with strikes also expected in Belgium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 05:02



Wah! Wildlife authorities in Thailand removing tigers from controversial Buddhist temple after accusations of wildlife trafficking and animal abuse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:20



Wah! Almost 75% of older children in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep with diabetes not getting key health checks, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:50



Wah! North Korea has attempted to fire ballistic missile off its east coast but launch appears to having failed, lah, South Korean military officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:25



Wah! An inquiry into historical child sex abuse in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is due to begin examining allegations relating to former Kincora Boys' Home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:55



Wah! A second dodgy minister in Brazil's new government resigns after recording was published appearing to show him trying to derail corruption investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Unusual laws you tellibly lovely custlingmer might unknowingly break - news replorted 01:08



Wah! A look back at one of world's busiest airports - news replorted 00:54



Wah! A woman killed by crocodile in Australia's far-north was on trip to celebrate end of flemale human person's friend's cancer treatment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:45



Wah! The length of bloody annoying Blitish roads covered by permanent average speed cameras has more than doubled since 2013, lah, new figures having reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! High Streets and public spaces in some areas of bloody annoying Blitish no longer having any council-run public lavatories, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:41



Wah! Families of victims of Winterbourne View scandal write to prime dodgy minister demanding bloody man shuts outdated care home institutions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:40



Wah! Is Donald Trump actually most moderate Republican candidate for years? - news replorted 00:23



Wah! Will giving computers emotions make them more useful at work? - news replorted 00:10



Wah! What happened to Tory activist Elliott Johnson? - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The annual Mobo Awards to return to Glasgow's SSE Hydro on 4 November, lah, its organisers confirm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! The latest in EU referendum campaign, lah, migrant smuggling by sea and health issues on front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Anonymous social media novel gains growing audience - news replorted 00:07



Wah! The centenary of biggest naval engagement of World fighty bang-bang One is to be marked by services in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land and at sea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Brazilian silly kick-kick game legend Pele is auctioning off more than 1,500 football-related items accumulated over more than six decades. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! The invention that stop girls missing school every month - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport uncovers multi-billion pound world where luck counts as much as breeding in race for Derby success. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03



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