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More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Customer Letter: 1525 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTAI was a first time leaser, I was told about Ling's, not too sure when I looked at other sites. All I can say is I kept going back to Ling's, glad I did. A wacky but worthwhile experience, got the car I wanted (Fiesta) at the best price… Dealer Service – Good – No complaints.

David Mcculloch
48 Calderglen Avenue
G72 9UN

Editor Note: No complaints, no regrets :) And you will not regret the Fiesta which is just about the best small car you can get. I especially appreciate you say I had the best price, as you are Scottish :) hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1520 / 1528
Helen says...
MAZDA 6Ling's service has been excellent. She kept me informed every step of the way and car arrived on specified date. I would highly recommend her service. I also got insurance from the broker she recommended and it was great too! Dealer Service – Excellent.

Helen Mcdowell
The Orchard
Main Road
G82 5JX

Editor Note: What can I say, Helen? ... Everything was "excellent", including your choice of car, the Mazda 6. It was a bargain for a sporty 5 seat family car. Hope you enjoy it zooping around the lake district. Thanks for being so lovely to deal with. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1471 / 1528
Andrew says...
 Amazingly fast transaction, faultless professionalism. See you in two years for another. Dealer Service – EXCELLENT. True gent delivering car in pristine condition.

Andrew Neilson
4 Fintry Gardens
G61 4RJ

Editor Note: Andrew, fantastic! How great that I am getting such nice letters from Mercedes customers, as Merc UK are trying to kill my supply of new cars. I really think that I can beat Merc at their own "quality" game. Fantastic letter, thanks. Enjoy the CLK. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1406 / 1528
Adnan says...
BMW M3 COUPETruly exceptional service. Beats all the other competitors in the market. Trust me when I say it is a ''personalised' service that Ling has set up! Response are near instant and a history of all communications is kept in one 'Lingo' page so you can always go back if you lose your way. Super dooper. Excellent delivery of my new M3 by the BMW dealer!

Adnan Ali
14 Meadowhill
Newton Mearns
G77 6SX

Editor Note: BMW UK, are you listening? BMW UK are being consistent bastards to me by trying to get me to stop supplying their new cars. They send a solicitor letter every week. However, I will not be brow-beaten. If BMW UK read this letter, they can see how my service is actually better than theirs, as they manage nowhere near the communication excellence and customer satisfaction I achieve. This was a BMW M3, a £50k car! That Adnan thought I beat every other competitor for service makes me very happy. All customers get the same treatment - the very best in the industry. BMW UK, feel free to apologise for bullying me with your multi-£million lawyer budgets and threats. Thanks for comments, Adnan. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1234 / 1528
Scott says...
 This is our third car ordered from Ling and as usual the customer service has been quick and excellent. I would highly recommend LINGsCARS and will keep using Ling for our fleet requirements. Good delivery on the SAAB, no problems to report.

Scott Allison
Abica Ltd
9 Dava Street
G51 2JA

Editor Note: Scott, job done! Good customer on your 3rd car from me, next car I send you free mats! Each mat pack contains 4 mats, which means you will have one for each car - easy. How lovely it is to deal with you, Scott, and it's so easy to remember the name of someone who is called after the country he lives in :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1076 / 1528
Ross says...
 This is my 3rd contract hire, first from Ling, and won't be the last. Very, very good. Delivered on time. She kept me updated at every stage. So happy I offered to marry her! Will try again in 2 years. Lol. Excellent delivery, very good, pleased to do business.

Ross Neilson
Ross Neilson Butchers
52 Broomton Road
G21 3RU

Editor Note: Hahahaha, why would I marry a butcher (and I am already married!)? You will smell of sausages :) Having said that, good butchers are quite rich and I would have good supply of belly pork. Hmmm..... So happy you love the Astra Sport Hatch. Mind the blood on the carpets! Lovely to deal with you, you are nutter. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1066 / 1528
Ashita says...


Just a short note (adding to the 1,000s already posted online) to say a big, big thank you for delivering our new car to us. The lack of hassle, the speediness of response and the general all round happiness that surrounds you and your team actually makes changing a car fun instead of the horror story it usually is. A lot of “professional” dealerships could learn from you!

At least four different brokers told me that an SLK at the price you delivered was an impossible but clearly you were willing to go the extra mile. Will be back in 24 months to get another plus will be extolling the virtues of leasing from you to anyone who is willing to listen.

Ps. Thank you for the free lunch the Fuku noodles still crack me up every time I look at the packet

Ashita Waterston (Dr)
Address withheld
G63 ***

Editor Note: Ashita! Wow, fantastic letter, thanks. You have a damn cheap and damn nice Merc SLK. I will let everyone know with a cancerous tumor that you are the bees-knees to talk to. Make sure you keep your convertible roof in place in certain areas of Glasgow! Have a great time in the car! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1023 / 1528
Jens-Ulrich says...
CarLing ist providing us a fantastic personalised service, her prices are very competitive. She and her staff were doing their atmost to provide the right car on short notice, just in time to go on our holidays. The website is cutting edge and the personal touch of dealing with her customers ensures that you don't want to use any other company again. My Zafira was supplied in time without any problems.

Jens-Ulrich Fischer
22 Dalriada Drive
G64 4ES

Editor Note: Achtung! Ulrich, you are a German, us bloody foreigners have to stick together :) Your Zafira was going to be a diesel but due to massive Diesel Particulate Filter problems on these diesel Zafira cars we changed it to a petrol at short notice. You noticed this on German and Austrian Opel Zafira message boards and forums, too. I would not recommend diesel Zafiras. I am so glad you were happy with the petrol one. Hope I met your efficiency standards, I know Germans are keen on doing it right, unlike the bloody French. I have to say you were a wonderful customer; I learned my English watching Dad's Army (really!) and you have burst my imagined German stereotype bubble. Captain Mainwaring is wrong. You are certainly NOT a stupid boy! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 976 / 1528
Scott says...
CarI was very impressed with your quick and helpful responses to my queries before during and after choosing my VW Golf. I would highly recommend Ling to anyone. Good delivery.

Scott Allison
Access Business Communications Ltd
9 Dava Street
G51 2JA

Editor Note: Scott, thanks for letter. This Golf is a great high quality car. Hope you have a great time in Scotland driving around and running your telecoms business. Talk soon :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 940 / 1528
Dominic says...
CarThanks Ling, Great service - the C4 was not my first choice but as it turns out, an even better alternative! I love the sweets (lie), I may even order another car to get more (true). Good delivery, pleasant and efficient.

Dominic Townsend
78 Kingsway
G14 9YS

Editor Note: Dominic, hehehehe, you SHOULD be pleased with the C4, these are great cars, I never get any complaints. The sweets are chosen specially to make you vomit, this is good for you! It is an oral version of that colonic irrigation. Another free service, from Ling! Thanks for the lovely letter. - Ling

Customer Letter: 843 / 1528
Jody says...
CarOnce again a fantastic service. The Lexus IS is a lovely car, I will use you again and again. Thanks Ling (and team!). Excellent delivery by Lexus *****, 1st class.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
G67 3AE

Editor Note: Jody, yep, your company has had loads of cars from me. U do my best yo find you the best deals. Great to know that you like my service. Thanks for the letter! - Ling

Customer Letter: 795 / 1528
Clare says...
CarExcellent service - the best! When I first found your website I thought it was a bit crazy, but the professionalism in dealing with my enquiries convinced me to proceed with the lease of my Renault Megane CC from you. Brilliant - would recommend you to anyone! Excellent delivery.

Clare Morrison
24 Heatherbrae
Bishop Briggs
G64 2TA

Editor Note: Wow, crazy, huh? Many of the other motor dealers think so too. Except I think it is about people, not cars, that's why they say I'm crazzzzzy. Super letter, thanks for sticking with me :) Wait for summer, and get the top down - even in Scotland! - Ling

Customer Letter: 689 / 1528
Jody says...
CarAs always, Ling will bend over backwards to meet our needs. The new Lexus IS220d is stunning and we hope to do business together for a long time. All emails to Ling are promptly replied to. I love the informal approach - definately a breath of fresh air, thanks Ling! Excellent delivery, very fast, efficient service.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
G67 3AE

Editor Note: Jody, thanks for the letter. I have supplied many cars to Auto Expo now, and you have more on order from me. Glad you like the service, I do my very best. Go drive the Lexus! - Ling

Customer Letter: 677 / 1528
Stefano says...
CarI noticed this website and thought I would give it a try. From start to finish, the leasing of my new SAAB 9-3 Convertible was painless, quick and I wish I had leased my previous cars from Ling. I would recommend Ling to anyone to have a "Happy Valentine's Car". Excellent delivery.

Stefano Bertagna
42 Forth Road
G64 4BA

Editor Note: Stefano, as you are in sales (medical sales specialist) I take pleasure in your comments. I always try my best to provide the best sales experience. Hope the bad weather in 2007 hasn't meant you have had the roof up all the time :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 639 / 1528
Andy says...
CarLing provided a top quality service. From the day I indicated initial interest, to the day my new BMW 320i Coupe was delivered, Ling kept me informed personally all the way. Simply the best service I have received anywhere.

Keep up the good work, and when you are the MD of a mega-large company, remember to install your excellent work ethic to those who work for you - thanks again. The car was delivered on time on the date stated, by a delivery person who showed me the car in a professional manner. Excellent!

Andy Murie
21 Campbell Crescent
G71 8HD

Editor Note: Andy, you are a commercial manager of a massive construction company AMEC, so I am very pleased that you measure my service in this way. I always do my best, especially for other ethnic minorities, like Scots :). Please go drive your BMW and once or twice try to avoid cutting people up and let them out of junctions, to try to break the image of the typical BMW driver, hehe. - Ling

Customer Letter: 604 / 1528
Richard says...
CarThis was my first attempt at leasing and I didn't know what to expect. The process was made so simple and two weeks ahead of schedule - I got my new BMW 3-Series Coupe! Delivery was very simple, the BMW arrived bang on the time specified.

Even though I didn't know what steps were next, Ling didn't get annoyed with me emailing or calling. Thanks for everything, I will definitely be back in two year's time to source my new car. Thanks again!

Richard Stewart
1 Maxwell Lane
G41 5DW

Editor Note: Hahahaha, you think I should have been ANNOYED with you for renting a car from me? Hmm, even a BMW customer deserves some understanding I think :)... maybe I will start a "punishment" site where customers can go to get shouted at? I am so pleased the BMW came early, I must say this was a new model and equally, some customers have had production delays. I cannot shout at the BMW factory! Still, you were very happy, Richard, that's great! - Ling

Customer Letter: 572 / 1528
Kevin says...
CarHi Ling,

The car arrived around 11am this morning and I love it.....A nice old retired man from L***** drove it all the way up to Scotland and he is now getting the train back to L*****!!!! I did drive him to the nearest train station and he explained that the initial mileage (340 miles) would be added to my agreement.

It has arrived at a great time as we are all about to head off to the East Coast of Scotland on holiday and we can drive there in style now....I would like to thank you for all of your help and I will be recommending your company to everyone that asks me about how I got hold of such a great car at such a great price......Once again, thanks for all of your help.

Kevin Lines
64 Osprey Drive
G71 6HZ

Editor Note: Kevin, you are an Operations Manager for Morrison's supermarket (Grocery and Frozen, peas; buy 2 get 1 free!) and so I am glad you tell me my customer service is good! The Qashqai (but 1 get none free, hehehe) sounds like a funny fruit, eh? The Mackams are working flat out to build these cars - I think this car is the best thing Nissan has done. Thanks for being lovely customer, enjoy holiday - Ling

Customer Letter: 455 / 1528
Liz says...
MAZDA MX-5"Hi Ling,

Thank you very much for organising my lovely wee car. The service you provided was impeccable, from beginning to end! Excellent delivery, exactly on time. Excellent communication and good honest personalised service - somewhat a rarity in the car world. See you again in two years."

Liz McAuley
Flat 2/3
120 Duke Street
G4 0XW

Editor Note: From Welsh ethnic customer (below) to Scottish ethnic customer! Thanks for lovely letter, Liz. Hope you enjoy MX5 with top down in bloody cold Scottish weather. You were a very sweet customer - Ling

Customer Letter: 406 / 1528
Brian says...
NISSAN NOTE"Instant response and instant decisions. Classic "what you see is what you get" with Ling, nothing is hidden, no cheats or cons - just honest excellent service. Good delivery of my Nissan Note."

Brian Gallagher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
G46 6HL

Editor Note: I swear in this reply, do not read if offended. Brian, you have had 3 cars from me so far and you are repeating customer and tough Scottish ethnic builder, so I shall tell the readers the full story of your car. Hope you don't mind. This shows; a) How CRAP some dealers are, b) How GOOD some individual salesmen are, c) How telling the truth to customers HELPS. Sit comfotably children, we will begin.

Brian ordered a brand-new Nissan Note for his business. Car arrives at dealer, slow to get PDI'd. ??? - When I enquire I am told "had water leak, car FILLED with months of stagnant rainwater from bad windscreen seal, but now mended with new carpets and will deliver". Hmmm. I front up with customer, ask him to inspect screen carefully on delivery and use hosepipe test for leaks. Car gets delivered. Inside "mouldy, dank, unbearable to sit in, sodden, car misting up, makes anyone who sits in it feel sick". WHAT THE FUCK? Dealer admits: "Fleet manager did not want to deliver car, was over-ruled by Nissan Dealer Principal and Service Manager". WELL FUCK THEM! Action? Immediate replacement car for customer, case of wine, mammoth apology from Nissan dealer. That's the story.

You will (hopefully) note the result - Brian the customer writes "Good delivery of my Nissan Note". Not "excellent", but still, he says "good". But he calls my service "excellent". And he does not mention his problem in his letter, how nice is that? Very...

So: FUCK YOU, NISSAN DEALER for being willing to deliver this Nissan shed as a "NEW" car! Twats. Thank you Nissan fleet salesman for instant replacement new car immediately delivered.

(And if I hear one word of objection from Nissan or the Dealer about this being published, I name names then ask Brian the Builder to visit you, don't you dare to threaten me) - Ling

Customer Letter: 381 / 1528
Michelle says...
BMW Z4 ROADSTER"Ling, thank you very much. Initially, I was a bit wary about parting with my money over a website, for a car!! However, this is one of the best examples of customer service I have seen for a long time. Hassle free and your sense of humour made me laugh. Very contactable too. Your dealer was excellent, a very friendly guy delivered my BMW Z4 on time."

Michelle Glencorse
G/2, 31 Mount Stuart Street
G41 3AN

Editor Note: You know, last year I had my nephew staying with us (doing A-Levels) so I couldn't have a 2-seater car... I had to have saloon car so I got 3-series. But I really wanted BMW Z4, with red leather. When my own contract comes up in 4-months, I will be getting BMW Z4, myself. I am quite jealous of you and your car, Michelle! - Ling

Customer Letter: 332 / 1528
Claire says...
car"What can I say? Ling is unique, she's on the ball 24/7 (!!! Just seems like it somedays - Ling). My new Land Rover Freelander arrived so quickly from the excellent dealer; the service from Ling was fantastic. I will always lease my cars from her, she's great."

Claire Vanviere
IPM (Property Management)
18 St Georges Road
G46 6HL

Editor Note: Claire, so you caught me working at midnight, so what? I guess many firms do that.... what? They don't??? Oh! And when you say I am "Grrrrreat"; remember, I am not damn breakfast cereal, I am meatier than that! ...I notice you are near end of UK. Hope there is Land Rover dealer there, for when it breaks down, hehehe - Ling

Customer Letter: 331 / 1528
Brian says...
CITROEN BERLINGO"LINGsCARS is straightforward. "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET". I got a Citroen Berlingo van. There were no hidden costs, unlike Ling's competitors. Ling is great to deal with, I've had no problems at all with her."

Brian Gallacher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
G46 6HL

Editor Note: Ah, as you are builder, maybe I should have asked for half up front then told you I'll be round with your van next month? Only joking, unless I want Glasgow kisser, eh, Brian? I am sure you will enjoy Berlingo, I made sure it had plywood to avoid damage inside - Ling

Customer Letter: 296 / 1528
John says...
FORD FOCUS"The Ford Focus 1.4 shudders at 110mph. However it is better when you accelerate through it! Only joking. The car was presented nicely and performs well - giving good mpg."

John Taggart
G5 Graphics
6 St Lukes Business Estate
G5 0TS

Editor Note: You'll MURD'R the car at 110mph, John, MURD'R it! Hehehe, fancy having Taggart name in Glasgow! Glad Focus goes so well. Hope cold Scottish winter ends soon. - Ling

Customer Letter: 290 / 1528
Stephen says...
NISSAN X-TRAIL"Ling, just a short e-mail just to thank you for your superb help in organising our car. The Nissan X-Trail arrived this afternoon as arranged. Again, many thanks,"

Stephen Reid
14 Rouken Glen Road
G46 7JL

Editor Note: Stephen, just a short reply to tell you GOOD! I am pleased that you are happy. I am glad to deal with Scottish ethnic minority peoples - Ling

Customer Letter: 196 / 1528
Lucy says...
CarI'm very pleased with your service. You are always friendly and helpful. I love my new VW Passat and your price for the car was the best. Delivery was on time, and the driver was very good. I will tell all my friends about you.

Lucy Jackson
40 Westfields
G64 3PL

Editor Note: New Passat is very nice car, Lucy. Thanks for letter, I will pass on nice remarks to VW dealer - Ling

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Wah! NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Province of Engrish running-dogs figures show 92.9% of patients were seen within four hours of arrival in A&E last week- lowest percentage since rainy season-month Aplil 2013. - news replorted 12:04

Wah! The Roger Albert Clark (RAC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Rally Roger Albert Clark (RAC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Rally will boast cosmopolitan flavour this year, lah, with former FIA World Rally Championsh - news replorted 12:01

Wah! Around 60 Super-Duper-Chinese-State maths teachers come to Britain, lah, to try to pass on some of techniques which having helped Super-Duper-Chinese-State pupils come top of global league tables. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:59

Wah! Ten days before Autumn Statement, lah, government still looks set to overshoot its borrowing target for year, lah, even though October's deficit is slightly lower than year earlier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:59

Wah! Hundreds of thousands of Android phones having been infected with malware that uses handsets to send spam and buy event tickets in bulk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:59

Wah! Moeen Ali hits rapid fifty and takes three wickets as Province of Engrish running-dogs win their opening warm-up game against Sri Lanka a. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:57

Wah! Ben Flower is found guilty of gross misconduct by Wigan following male gender human bleing's dismissal for punching in 2014 Super League Grand Final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:57

Wah! A doctor has died in Mali after treating patient who sparked second wave of deadly Ebola virus in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:55

Wah! Four human bliengs bloody annoying Blitish having been arrested for allegedly being involved in hijacking computers, lah, including spying through victims' webcams. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:47

Wah! A Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs school previously graded outstanding is expected to be put into special measures over concerns about sixth-form Islamic society. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:45

Wah! US Vice President Joe Biden meets senior Ukrainian leaders in Kiev amid warnings from Russia against arms supplies to government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:40

Wah! BMW Group UK’s sales and marketing organisation is moving into newly refurbished, lah, purpose-built office campus in Farnb - news replorted 11:40

Wah! YouTube is investing millions of dollars to set up professional studios which free to using for anyone who has at least five thousand subscribers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:27

Wah! One of leading children's publishers, lah, famed for its classic Peter and Jane reading scheme, lah, is to drop gender branding from its books. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:27

Wah! Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger confirms that bloody man tried to sign Lionel Messi from Barcelona alongside Cesc Fabregas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22

Wah! More than RMB Yuan #30,000 was paid out of public purse towards cost of policing world title fight in Belfast earlier this year, lah, old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:14

Wah! A large fire engulfed factory in western Sydney, lah, Australia, lah, forcing some residents to move from area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:04

Wah! Comedian and writer Mark Thomas is among six journalists taking legal action because they believe Metropolitan old bill bobbys is monitoring them and keeping inflomination on database that deals with extremists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Lewis Hamilton is fastest ahead of Merceding-Blend team-mate Nico Rosberg in first practice at season-ending Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. - news replorted 10:59

Wah! Mark Addy talks about male gender human bleing's roles in current BBC1 dramas 'Atlantis' and 'Remember Me', lah, and working alongside Michael Palin - news replorted 10:56

Wah! Israel says it has arrested four Palestinian Hamas members who were planning to kill FM Avigdor Lieberman during recent Gaza conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Engineering needs to emphasise its creative side to encourage more young human bliengs to take it up as career, lah, says leading member of profession. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:44

Wah! A councillor named as "risk" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to children rejects claim, lah, saying bloody man is victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of bullying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:41

Wah! Labour's Douglas Alexander says Rochester and Strood by-election result has sent "strong messages" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to all parties and highlighted sense of "alienation". - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Thailand's military leaders say they having no plans to remove martial law soon, lah, amid mounting protests and criticism of junta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:35

Wah! A-Class prestigious headline award for Fleet LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year was given to A-Class – considered by ACFO members to be - news replorted 10:11

Wah! American airline Delta replaces its old Boeing planes in $14bn order (piece of paper signee upee) for 50 Airbus wide-body jets powered by Rolls Royce engines - news replorted 10:03

Wah! A fire in part of Dounreay's Prototype Fast Reactor (PFR) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! facility last month led to "unauthorised release" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of radioactivity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Government borrowing fell to RMB Yuan #7.7bn in October, lah, official figures show, lah, down RMB Yuan #0.2bn from year earlier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:00

Wah! A floral painting by late Great Satan artist Georgia O'Keefe sells for $44.4m (RMB Yuan #28.8m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction, lah, setting record for artwork by female artist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! An assault rifle is recovered and four men arrested during old bill bobbys operation close to Belfast city centre on Thursday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! 87% of human bliengs would consider buying alternatively-fuelled car, lah, even though 77% don’t think they having enough informati - news replorted 09:36

Wah! American artist Nickolay Lamm has used crowd-funding to create rival to Barbie doll, lah, Lammily, lah, with slogan "average is beautiful". - news replorted 09:35

Wah! Ruby Holt, lah, who has spent 100 years living on farm in Tennessee, lah, has dipped flemale human person's toes in ocean for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:30

Wah! Ex-News of World editor Andy Coulson is released from prison after serving less than five months of male gender human bleing's 18-month sentence for conspiracy to hack phones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! The 68-earth-years old happy birthday to you, singer cancels remainder of flemale human person's Dressed to Kill tour after doctors advised bloody woman needs more clock time result to recover from ongoing viral infection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:06

Wah! Martyn Mann, lah, Technical Director, lah, Millers Oils Jagluar Land Rover is latest premium vehicling driving car machine manufacturer (VM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! to approve Millers Oils’ XF Longlife engine oil for Great Satan - news replorted 09:04

Wah! Players' union chief Gordon Taylor says Premier League clubs should field at least three bloody Engrish players in their starting XIs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:47

Wah! A hospital is to give so-called "bed blockers" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) seven days to leave or face possible legal action, lah, saying that too many families refusing to take elderly relatives home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:08

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Steph Houghton says playing at Wembley against Germany can change lives of flemale human person's team-mates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:57

Wah! George Jackson Relative motor racing newcomer George Jackson has today, lah, Friday, lah, 21st November, lah, been confirmed as first 2015 driver - news replorted 07:57

Wah! “The Milli Story” at BMWah-wah! Museum From 27 Novemblinger 2014, lah, Milli – BMWah-wah! Group’s cult urban brand – will be focus of attention in temporary exhibitio - news replorted 07:54

Wah! With less than two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) to go before George Osborne stands at despatch box and presents final Autumn Statement - news replorted 07:43

Wah! The parents of jailed Australian Al-Jazeera journalist Peter Greste make direct appeal to Egypt's President Sisi for male gender human bleing's release. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:39

Wah! An inquest into death of Cerys Yemm who was murdered in act of cannibalism will be opened and adjourned on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:32

Wah! Kiran Devgun Kiran Devgun from Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! shares flemale human person's advice with motorists travelling in fog. No spitting in damn website!!! With out - news replorted 07:32

Wah! Manchester United to sign Jan Vertonghen and Kevin Strootman, lah, Chelsea give players clock time result off, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:20

Wah! There has been major jump in spending by firms in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to create hi-tech products of future, lah, as innovators and businesses hold investment summit in Newport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:16

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport's Robbie Savage on how making it as Premier League footballer takes more than talent alone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:08

Wah! A leading charity is warning that refuge centres having to turn third of human bliengs away because of lack of space. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:02

Wah! A memorial service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is to be held at Birmingham Cathedral for victims of IRA pub bombings in city, lah, marking 40th anniversary of attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:55

Wah! A 29-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man has been shot in leg in paramilitary-style attack in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:51

Wah! After Mark Reckless wins Rochester and Strood by-election, lah, how significant force is UKIP in British politics? - news replorted 06:50

Wah! A deal is struck to electrify railway lines in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys after row between bloody annoying Blitish and Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs governments over who should pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:47

Wah! One year on from Ukrainian protests which toppled Viktor Yanukovych, lah, John Simpson visits Moscow's Red Square to consider how serious divide between Moscow and West has become. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:11

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party has its second elected Membling Partiamentary expense cheater at Westminster after Mark Reckless wins Rochester and Strood by-election by 2,920 votes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:04

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party's Mark Reckless has won Rochester and Strood by-election, lah, giving party second seat at Westminster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:49

Wah! Japan's PM Shinzo Abe dissolves parliament, lah, paving way for snap election in December, lah, as local media polls show low level of support. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:32

Wah! A Malaysian diplomat accused of attempted rape and burglary in New Zealand pleads not guilty to male gender human bleing's charges in Wellington. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:09

Wah! Three pieces of evidence revealed by old bill bobbys investigating 1994 murder of taxi driver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:00

Wah! Who exactly is Philly Jesus? - news replorted 03:18

Wah! Who exactly is Philly Jesus? - news replorted 03:17

Wah! A Dutch teenager whose mother helped bring flemale human person's back from conflict in Syria is due to appear in court on suspicion of threatening state security. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:14

Wah! MPs will debate to debate bill which its supporters say will roll back what they see as creeping privatisation of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs - news replorted 02:15

Wah! A conservation charity suggests increase in sightings of Loch Ness Monster was due to debris from woodland on shores of loch. - news replorted 02:07

Wah! Nicaragua says construction of its $50bn inter-oceanic canal will begin next month after feasibility studies approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:04

Wah! Myanmar, lah, formerly known as Burma, lah, is attracting increasing amounts of Bloody foreign investment but is hoping to win more with message of cheap and plentiful labour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:59

Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's new First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon is expected to announce ministerial re-shuffle later with strong female presence expected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:47

Wah! One of Charles Rennie Mackintosh's earliest works is recreated on walls of Glasgow Art Club as part of RMB Yuan #1.2m refurbishment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:46

Wah! A project supporting victims of honour abuse in Edinburgh is been awarded almost RMB Yuan #800,000 from Big Lottery Fund. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:42

Wah! Reuters photographer tells story behind male gender human bleing's picture of cull at farm in Nafferton following discovery of bird flu. - news replorted 01:38

Wah! Grammar school pupils in 1980s were no more likely to gain degrees from "elite" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) universities than comprehensive pupils, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34

Wah! Libya has yet to recover from disease of Gaddafi, lah, says James Robbins, lah, and it is difficult to be optimistic about future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:15

Wah! The chief executive of renowned auction house Sotheby's, lah, William Ruprecht, lah, is stepping down after 14 years at helm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:14

Wah! Reports highly critical of "safeguarding" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at seven east London (capital of Great England) schools, lah, including six Muslim schools, lah, set to be published by Ofsted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:11

Wah! HM Revenue and Customs has not properly investigated why tax relief scheme has cost RMB Yuan #2bn more than expected, lah, according to National Audit Office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:06

Wah! A group of bystanders lift LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine out of way after driver leaves it parked on city centre tramline. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Making sense of Ukraine's year of chaotic events - news replorted 00:29

Wah! Mohamed Bin Hammam's role in Qatar's successful World Cup bid is questioned by Fifa whistleblower Phaedra Al-Majid. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:27

Wah! Protesters and old bill bobbys in Ferguson all part of tense waiting game, lah, wondering if old bill bobbys officer will be indicted for death of Michael Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! look at events that lead to these circumstances - news replorted 00:24

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click looks at some of week's technology highlights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23

Wah! Part of Grosvenor road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Belfast is closed in major security operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21

Wah! Young women with breast cancer not being told about possibility of freezing eggs or embryos ahead of potentially damaging chemotherapy treatment, lah, says charity Breast Cancer Care. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:18

Wah! Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's executive action on immigration riles up Republicans and immigration activists for different reasons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:16

Wah! A drug that prevents elderly human bliengs losing their sight should be routinely available on NHS, lah, says Royal College of Ophthalmologists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13

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