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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1525 / 1528
David says...
FORD FIESTAI was a first time leaser, I was told about Ling's, not too sure when I looked at other sites. All I can say is I kept going back to Ling's, glad I did. A wacky but worthwhile experience, got the car I wanted (Fiesta) at the best price… Dealer Service – Good – No complaints.

David Mcculloch
48 Calderglen Avenue
Blantyre
Glasgow
G72 9UN


Editor Note: No complaints, no regrets :) And you will not regret the Fiesta which is just about the best small car you can get. I especially appreciate you say I had the best price, as you are Scottish :) hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1520 / 1528
Helen says...
MAZDA 6Ling's service has been excellent. She kept me informed every step of the way and car arrived on specified date. I would highly recommend her service. I also got insurance from the broker she recommended and it was great too! Dealer Service – Excellent.

Helen Mcdowell
The Orchard
Main Road
Cardross
G82 5JX


Editor Note: What can I say, Helen? ... Everything was "excellent", including your choice of car, the Mazda 6. It was a bargain for a sporty 5 seat family car. Hope you enjoy it zooping around the lake district. Thanks for being so lovely to deal with. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1471 / 1528
Andrew says...
 Amazingly fast transaction, faultless professionalism. See you in two years for another. Dealer Service – EXCELLENT. True gent delivering car in pristine condition.

Andrew Neilson
4 Fintry Gardens
Glasgow
G61 4RJ


Editor Note: Andrew, fantastic! How great that I am getting such nice letters from Mercedes customers, as Merc UK are trying to kill my supply of new cars. I really think that I can beat Merc at their own "quality" game. Fantastic letter, thanks. Enjoy the CLK. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1406 / 1528
Adnan says...
BMW M3 COUPETruly exceptional service. Beats all the other competitors in the market. Trust me when I say it is a ''personalised' service that Ling has set up! Response are near instant and a history of all communications is kept in one 'Lingo' page so you can always go back if you lose your way. Super dooper. Excellent delivery of my new M3 by the BMW dealer!

Adnan Ali
14 Meadowhill
Newton Mearns
Glasgow
G77 6SX


Editor Note: BMW UK, are you listening? BMW UK are being consistent bastards to me by trying to get me to stop supplying their new cars. They send a solicitor letter every week. However, I will not be brow-beaten. If BMW UK read this letter, they can see how my service is actually better than theirs, as they manage nowhere near the communication excellence and customer satisfaction I achieve. This was a BMW M3, a £50k car! That Adnan thought I beat every other competitor for service makes me very happy. All customers get the same treatment - the very best in the industry. BMW UK, feel free to apologise for bullying me with your multi-£million lawyer budgets and threats. Thanks for comments, Adnan. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1234 / 1528
Scott says...
 This is our third car ordered from Ling and as usual the customer service has been quick and excellent. I would highly recommend LINGsCARS and will keep using Ling for our fleet requirements. Good delivery on the SAAB, no problems to report.

Scott Allison
Abica Ltd
9 Dava Street
Glasgow
G51 2JA


Editor Note: Scott, job done! Good customer on your 3rd car from me, next car I send you free mats! Each mat pack contains 4 mats, which means you will have one for each car - easy. How lovely it is to deal with you, Scott, and it's so easy to remember the name of someone who is called after the country he lives in :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1076 / 1528
Ross says...
 This is my 3rd contract hire, first from Ling, and won't be the last. Very, very good. Delivered on time. She kept me updated at every stage. So happy I offered to marry her! Will try again in 2 years. Lol. Excellent delivery, very good, pleased to do business.

Ross Neilson
Ross Neilson Butchers
52 Broomton Road
Balornock
Glasgow
G21 3RU


Editor Note: Hahahaha, why would I marry a butcher (and I am already married!)? You will smell of sausages :) Having said that, good butchers are quite rich and I would have good supply of belly pork. Hmmm..... So happy you love the Astra Sport Hatch. Mind the blood on the carpets! Lovely to deal with you, you are nutter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1066 / 1528
Ashita says...


NEW MERCEDES SLK 200

Just a short note (adding to the 1,000s already posted online) to say a big, big thank you for delivering our new car to us. The lack of hassle, the speediness of response and the general all round happiness that surrounds you and your team actually makes changing a car fun instead of the horror story it usually is. A lot of “professional” dealerships could learn from you!

At least four different brokers told me that an SLK at the price you delivered was an impossible but clearly you were willing to go the extra mile. Will be back in 24 months to get another plus will be extolling the virtues of leasing from you to anyone who is willing to listen.

Ps. Thank you for the free lunch the Fuku noodles still crack me up every time I look at the packet

Ashita Waterston (Dr)
Address withheld
Balfron
Glasgow
G63 ***


Editor Note: Ashita! Wow, fantastic letter, thanks. You have a damn cheap and damn nice Merc SLK. I will let everyone know with a cancerous tumor that you are the bees-knees to talk to. Make sure you keep your convertible roof in place in certain areas of Glasgow! Have a great time in the car! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1023 / 1528
Jens-Ulrich says...
CarLing ist providing us a fantastic personalised service, her prices are very competitive. She and her staff were doing their atmost to provide the right car on short notice, just in time to go on our holidays. The website is cutting edge and the personal touch of dealing with her customers ensures that you don't want to use any other company again. My Zafira was supplied in time without any problems.

Jens-Ulrich Fischer
22 Dalriada Drive
Torrance
G64 4ES


Editor Note: Achtung! Ulrich, you are a German, us bloody foreigners have to stick together :) Your Zafira was going to be a diesel but due to massive Diesel Particulate Filter problems on these diesel Zafira cars we changed it to a petrol at short notice. You noticed this on German and Austrian Opel Zafira message boards and forums, too. I would not recommend diesel Zafiras. I am so glad you were happy with the petrol one. Hope I met your efficiency standards, I know Germans are keen on doing it right, unlike the bloody French. I have to say you were a wonderful customer; I learned my English watching Dad's Army (really!) and you have burst my imagined German stereotype bubble. Captain Mainwaring is wrong. You are certainly NOT a stupid boy! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 976 / 1528
Scott says...
CarI was very impressed with your quick and helpful responses to my queries before during and after choosing my VW Golf. I would highly recommend Ling to anyone. Good delivery.

Scott Allison
Access Business Communications Ltd
9 Dava Street
Glasgow
G51 2JA


Editor Note: Scott, thanks for letter. This Golf is a great high quality car. Hope you have a great time in Scotland driving around and running your telecoms business. Talk soon :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 940 / 1528
Dominic says...
CarThanks Ling, Great service - the C4 was not my first choice but as it turns out, an even better alternative! I love the sweets (lie), I may even order another car to get more (true). Good delivery, pleasant and efficient.

Dominic Townsend
78 Kingsway
Glasgow
G14 9YS


Editor Note: Dominic, hehehehe, you SHOULD be pleased with the C4, these are great cars, I never get any complaints. The sweets are chosen specially to make you vomit, this is good for you! It is an oral version of that colonic irrigation. Another free service, from Ling! Thanks for the lovely letter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 843 / 1528
Jody says...
CarOnce again a fantastic service. The Lexus IS is a lovely car, I will use you again and again. Thanks Ling (and team!). Excellent delivery by Lexus *****, 1st class.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
Abronhill
Cumbernauld
G67 3AE


Editor Note: Jody, yep, your company has had loads of cars from me. U do my best yo find you the best deals. Great to know that you like my service. Thanks for the letter! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 795 / 1528
Clare says...
CarExcellent service - the best! When I first found your website I thought it was a bit crazy, but the professionalism in dealing with my enquiries convinced me to proceed with the lease of my Renault Megane CC from you. Brilliant - would recommend you to anyone! Excellent delivery.

Clare Morrison
24 Heatherbrae
Bishop Briggs
Glasgow
G64 2TA


Editor Note: Wow, crazy, huh? Many of the other motor dealers think so too. Except I think it is about people, not cars, that's why they say I'm crazzzzzy. Super letter, thanks for sticking with me :) Wait for summer, and get the top down - even in Scotland! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 689 / 1528
Jody says...
CarAs always, Ling will bend over backwards to meet our needs. The new Lexus IS220d is stunning and we hope to do business together for a long time. All emails to Ling are promptly replied to. I love the informal approach - definately a breath of fresh air, thanks Ling! Excellent delivery, very fast, efficient service.

Jody Jackson
Auto Expo Ltd
97 Alder Road
Abronhill
Cumbernauld
G67 3AE


Editor Note: Jody, thanks for the letter. I have supplied many cars to Auto Expo now, and you have more on order from me. Glad you like the service, I do my very best. Go drive the Lexus! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 677 / 1528
Stefano says...
CarI noticed this LINGsCARS.com website and thought I would give it a try. From start to finish, the leasing of my new SAAB 9-3 Convertible was painless, quick and I wish I had leased my previous cars from Ling. I would recommend Ling to anyone to have a "Happy Valentine's Car". Excellent delivery.

Stefano Bertagna
42 Forth Road
Torrance
Glasgow
G64 4BA


Editor Note: Stefano, as you are in sales (medical sales specialist) I take pleasure in your comments. I always try my best to provide the best sales experience. Hope the bad weather in 2007 hasn't meant you have had the roof up all the time :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 639 / 1528
Andy says...
CarLing provided a top quality service. From the day I indicated initial interest, to the day my new BMW 320i Coupe was delivered, Ling kept me informed personally all the way. Simply the best service I have received anywhere.

Keep up the good work, and when you are the MD of a mega-large company, remember to install your excellent work ethic to those who work for you - thanks again. The car was delivered on time on the date stated, by a delivery person who showed me the car in a professional manner. Excellent!

Andy Murie
21 Campbell Crescent
Bothwell
Glasgow
G71 8HD


Editor Note: Andy, you are a commercial manager of a massive construction company AMEC, so I am very pleased that you measure my service in this way. I always do my best, especially for other ethnic minorities, like Scots :). Please go drive your BMW and once or twice try to avoid cutting people up and let them out of junctions, to try to break the image of the typical BMW driver, hehe. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 604 / 1528
Richard says...
CarThis was my first attempt at leasing and I didn't know what to expect. The process was made so simple and two weeks ahead of schedule - I got my new BMW 3-Series Coupe! Delivery was very simple, the BMW arrived bang on the time specified.

Even though I didn't know what steps were next, Ling didn't get annoyed with me emailing or calling. Thanks for everything, I will definitely be back in two year's time to source my new car. Thanks again!

Richard Stewart
1 Maxwell Lane
Pollokshields
Glasgow
G41 5DW


Editor Note: Hahahaha, you think I should have been ANNOYED with you for renting a car from me? Hmm, even a BMW customer deserves some understanding I think :)... maybe I will start a "punishment" site where customers can go to get shouted at? I am so pleased the BMW came early, I must say this was a new model and equally, some customers have had production delays. I cannot shout at the BMW factory! Still, you were very happy, Richard, that's great! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 572 / 1528
Kevin says...
CarHi Ling,

The car arrived around 11am this morning and I love it.....A nice old retired man from L***** drove it all the way up to Scotland and he is now getting the train back to L*****!!!! I did drive him to the nearest train station and he explained that the initial mileage (340 miles) would be added to my agreement.

It has arrived at a great time as we are all about to head off to the East Coast of Scotland on holiday and we can drive there in style now....I would like to thank you for all of your help and I will be recommending your company to everyone that asks me about how I got hold of such a great car at such a great price......Once again, thanks for all of your help.

Kevin Lines
64 Osprey Drive
Uddington
Glasgow
G71 6HZ


Editor Note: Kevin, you are an Operations Manager for Morrison's supermarket (Grocery and Frozen, peas; buy 2 get 1 free!) and so I am glad you tell me my customer service is good! The Qashqai (but 1 get none free, hehehe) sounds like a funny fruit, eh? The Mackams are working flat out to build these cars - I think this car is the best thing Nissan has done. Thanks for being lovely customer, enjoy holiday - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 455 / 1528
Liz says...
MAZDA MX-5"Hi Ling,

Thank you very much for organising my lovely wee car. The service you provided was impeccable, from beginning to end! Excellent delivery, exactly on time. Excellent communication and good honest personalised service - somewhat a rarity in the car world. See you again in two years."

Liz McAuley
Flat 2/3
120 Duke Street
Glasgow
G4 0XW


Editor Note: From Welsh ethnic customer (below) to Scottish ethnic customer! Thanks for lovely letter, Liz. Hope you enjoy MX5 with top down in bloody cold Scottish weather. You were a very sweet customer - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 406 / 1528
Brian says...
NISSAN NOTE"Instant response and instant decisions. Classic "what you see is what you get" with Ling, nothing is hidden, no cheats or cons - just honest excellent service. Good delivery of my Nissan Note."

Brian Gallagher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
Glasgow
G46 6HL


Editor Note: I swear in this reply, do not read if offended. Brian, you have had 3 cars from me so far and you are repeating customer and tough Scottish ethnic builder, so I shall tell the readers the full story of your car. Hope you don't mind. This shows; a) How CRAP some dealers are, b) How GOOD some individual salesmen are, c) How telling the truth to customers HELPS. Sit comfotably children, we will begin.

Brian ordered a brand-new Nissan Note for his business. Car arrives at dealer, slow to get PDI'd. ??? - When I enquire I am told "had water leak, car FILLED with months of stagnant rainwater from bad windscreen seal, but now mended with new carpets and will deliver". Hmmm. I front up with customer, ask him to inspect screen carefully on delivery and use hosepipe test for leaks. Car gets delivered. Inside "mouldy, dank, unbearable to sit in, sodden, car misting up, makes anyone who sits in it feel sick". WHAT THE FUCK? Dealer admits: "Fleet manager did not want to deliver car, was over-ruled by Nissan Dealer Principal and Service Manager". WELL FUCK THEM! Action? Immediate replacement car for customer, case of wine, mammoth apology from Nissan dealer. That's the story.

You will (hopefully) note the result - Brian the customer writes "Good delivery of my Nissan Note". Not "excellent", but still, he says "good". But he calls my service "excellent". And he does not mention his problem in his letter, how nice is that? Very...

So: FUCK YOU, NISSAN DEALER for being willing to deliver this Nissan shed as a "NEW" car! Twats. Thank you Nissan fleet salesman for instant replacement new car immediately delivered.

(And if I hear one word of objection from Nissan or the Dealer about this being published, I name names then ask Brian the Builder to visit you, don't you dare to threaten me) - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 381 / 1528
Michelle says...
BMW Z4 ROADSTER"Ling, thank you very much. Initially, I was a bit wary about parting with my money over a website, for a car!! However, this is one of the best examples of customer service I have seen for a long time. Hassle free and your sense of humour made me laugh. Very contactable too. Your dealer was excellent, a very friendly guy delivered my BMW Z4 on time."

Michelle Glencorse
G/2, 31 Mount Stuart Street
Glasgow
G41 3AN


Editor Note: You know, last year I had my nephew staying with us (doing A-Levels) so I couldn't have a 2-seater car... I had to have saloon car so I got 3-series. But I really wanted BMW Z4, with red leather. When my own contract comes up in 4-months, I will be getting BMW Z4, myself. I am quite jealous of you and your car, Michelle! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 332 / 1528
Claire says...
car"What can I say? Ling is unique, she's on the ball 24/7 (!!! Just seems like it somedays - Ling). My new Land Rover Freelander arrived so quickly from the excellent dealer; the service from Ling was fantastic. I will always lease my cars from her, she's great."

Claire Vanviere
IPM (Property Management)
18 St Georges Road
Truro
G46 6HL


Editor Note: Claire, so you caught me working at midnight, so what? I guess many firms do that.... what? They don't??? Oh! And when you say I am "Grrrrreat"; remember, I am not damn breakfast cereal, I am meatier than that! ...I notice you are near end of UK. Hope there is Land Rover dealer there, for when it breaks down, hehehe - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 331 / 1528
Brian says...
CITROEN BERLINGO"LINGsCARS is straightforward. "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET". I got a Citroen Berlingo van. There were no hidden costs, unlike Ling's competitors. Ling is great to deal with, I've had no problems at all with her."

Brian Gallacher
Pacific Building Ltd
1 Heathside Road
Glasgow
G46 6HL


Editor Note: Ah, as you are builder, maybe I should have asked for half up front then told you I'll be round with your van next month? Only joking, unless I want Glasgow kisser, eh, Brian? I am sure you will enjoy Berlingo, I made sure it had plywood to avoid damage inside - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 296 / 1528
John says...
FORD FOCUS"The Ford Focus 1.4 shudders at 110mph. However it is better when you accelerate through it! Only joking. The car was presented nicely and performs well - giving good mpg."

John Taggart
G5 Graphics
6 St Lukes Business Estate
Glasgow
G5 0TS


Editor Note: You'll MURD'R the car at 110mph, John, MURD'R it! Hehehe, fancy having Taggart name in Glasgow! Glad Focus goes so well. Hope cold Scottish winter ends soon. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 290 / 1528
Stephen says...
NISSAN X-TRAIL"Ling, just a short e-mail just to thank you for your superb help in organising our car. The Nissan X-Trail arrived this afternoon as arranged. Again, many thanks,"

Stephen Reid
14 Rouken Glen Road
Giffnock
Glasgow
G46 7JL


Editor Note: Stephen, just a short reply to tell you GOOD! I am pleased that you are happy. I am glad to deal with Scottish ethnic minority peoples - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 196 / 1528
Lucy says...
CarI'm very pleased with your service. You are always friendly and helpful. I love my new VW Passat and your price for the car was the best. Delivery was on time, and the driver was very good. I will tell all my friends about you.

Lucy Jackson
40 Westfields
Glasgow
G64 3PL


Editor Note: New Passat is very nice car, Lucy. Thanks for letter, I will pass on nice remarks to VW dealer - Ling



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Wah! Watford move closer to promotion to Premier League with vital victory at Brighton and Hove Albion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:12



Wah! Extra trains being laid on to getting funny shape ball-game supporters to Cardiff for Judgement Day games after previous services became overcrowded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:11



Wah! At least three of 10 human bliengs on death row in Indonesia for drug smuggling given formal notice of their imminent executions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:14



Wah! David Cameron comes under fire from Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) users after accidentally suggesting bloody man supported West Ham - when bloody man is Aston Villa fan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:11



Wah! Popular radio presenter and silly kick-kick game commentator Colin Bloomfield dies aged 33 after battle with cancer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:03



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's parties continue in their efforts to try and win votes in penultimate weekend of campaigning before election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:00



Wah! Four-time champion John Higgins is knocked out of World Snooker Championship after losing 13-9 to China's Ding Junhui. - news replorted 12:48



Wah! The Queen has laid wreath at Cenotaph in central London (capital of Great England) to mark centenary of Gallipoli campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:09



Wah! A data manager from Oldham has been crowned champion of MasterChef 2015. - news replorted 11:57



Wah! Islamist rebels having captured much of north-western Syrian town of Jisr al-Shughur from government forces, lah, activists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:50



Wah! David Cameron makes slip up in speech on diversity, lah, saying bloody man is West Ham supporter, lah, when bloody man is actually Aston Villa fan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:40



Wah! The Magnitude 7.8 Nepal earthquake has occurred in what is one of most seismically active regions in world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:36



Wah! The Queen attends bloody annoying Blitish ceremonies marking centenary of WW1 Gallipoli landings, lah, after dawn services held in Britain, lah, Turkey, lah, Australia and New Zealand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:12



Wah! A murder suspect was seen in pub with victim, lah, three days before flemale human person's body was found in flat in Rhondda Cynon Taff, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:09



Wah! A powerful earthquake has rocked central Nepal, lah, causing extensive damage to buildings and dozens of injuries, lah, according to eyewitnesses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:59



Wah! Ceremony at Cenotaph in London, lah, remembering soldiers who fought at Gallipoli during World fighty bang-bang One. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:54



Wah! A minute's silence will be held before all Premier and silly kick-kick game league matches later to mark 30th anniversary of Bradford City fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:35



Wah! Cocaine is found on board boat which was intercepted by Royal Navy and Border Force in North Sea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! The UK's biggest conference pear orchard has been planted at farm in Kent, lah, using techniques already used abroad in bid to help British producers compete with their Bloody foreign rivals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:02



Wah! The first black or Asian prime dodgy minister will be Conservative, lah, David Cameron says, lah, in speech on opportunities for ethnic minority Britons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! The reality TV star says bloody man still has male body parts but considers himself female. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:53



Wah! The Last Mandleson privatising post machine system is sounded in early morning service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service to mark centenary of military landings at Gallipoli in World fighty bang-bang One. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:44



Wah! A powerful earthquake has rocked central Nepal, lah, causing extensive damage to buildings and some injuries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:33



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish could face fine from EU if it fails to comply with regulations on sewage treatment - news replorted 09:32



Wah! The Great Satan Olympic gold medallist and reality TV personality, lah, Bruce Jenner, lah, has said bloody man is transgender and identifies as woman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:12



Wah! Chris Jordan looks vulnerable in predictable Province of Engrish running-dogs attack, lah, says Jonathan Agnew, lah, while Moeen Ali also toiled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! A veterans commissioner should be created to help those who having served in military, lah, Liberal Democrats say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:44



Wah! Canadian teenager Brooke Henderson breaks Swinging Skirts tournament record with nine-under halfway total of 135. - news replorted 08:33



Wah! People living close to Calbuco volcano in south of Chile having been warned that it might erupt again at some point soon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:32



Wah! Most of Great Satan having now had as much clock time result as we need to peruse main manifesto pledges of biggest parties - but there some more unusual offerings for voters to choose. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:28



Wah! A 25-earth-years old happy birthday to you, woman is charged with murder of man in Rhondda Cynon Taff and will appear in court. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:27



Wah! Most of those taking part in Sunday's London (capital of Great England) Marathon will having spent all year working towards big race but one man certainly stands out from crowd. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:17



Wah! Hundreds of soldiers from Lancashire Fusiliers were killed during Gallipoli campaign 100 years ago, lah, and now new piece of music has been composed in their honour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:11



Wah! Pakistani Prime dodgy minister Nawaz Sharif condemns shooting of human rights activist Sabeen Mehmud and orders investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:53



Wah! A powerful earthquake strikes west of Nepal capital Kathmandu, lah, with some reports of houses damaged. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:52



Wah! Two elderly lovebirds from East Sussex set to become world's oldest newlyweds when they tie knot in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:47



Wah! Six Victoria Cross medals "won before breakfast" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by Lancashire Fusiliers in Gallipoli landings go on show for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:50



Wah! Thousands of human bliengs gather in Gallipoli in Turkey to mark centenary of military landings there during First World War. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:48



Wah! A recent incident at Yarl's Wood detention centre has given HM Inspectorate of Prisons "considerable concern", lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:23



Wah! Venezuela's President Maduro allocates woman flat, lah, after bloody woman hits him on head with mango. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 03:23



Wah! Is there about to be cure to 'signal failure'? - news replorted 02:57



Wah! Parents due partial refunds on their children's air tickets face variety of ways to claim (always claiming, huh?) money. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:18



Wah! Six bloody annoying Blitish museums, lah, including London's Imperial fighty bang-bang Museum and Belfast's MAC competing for title of Museum of Year 2015. - news replorted 02:12



Wah! The trial of Oskar Groening raises question of whether it is always necessary and right to prosecute such crimes after so many years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:01



Wah! The forgotten birthplace of president's religion - news replorted 00:48



Wah! The African migrants who made Sicilian palace their home - news replorted 00:40



Wah! A commemorative service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is being held in Edinburgh to mark 100th anniversary of Gallipoli landings during World fighty bang-bang One. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! An up-close encounter with new Milli you tellibly lovely custlingmer - news replorted 00:31



Wah! In tightly contested seat of Hastings and Rye, lah, it is topic of fishing quotas that has become key election issue - news replorted 00:23



Wah! Australia and New Zealand prepare for ceremonies in Turkey in honour of soldiers who fought at Gallipoli 100 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:18



Wah! Leading bloody Engrish hospitals saw income from private patients rise by more than half since 2010, lah, Labour has claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! The plan to getting aid to Syria in swarm of drones - news replorted 00:05



Wah! The UKIP leader's revelation that bloody man is seeking hospital treatment for back condition and HSBC's threat to quit bloody annoying Blitish attract headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News rounds up fourth week of election campaigning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! UKIP leader Nigel Farage admits to being "in great deal of pain" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at start of general election campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Lewis Hamilton is richest sportsman in Britain with earnings of RMB Yuan #88m, lah, as Wayne Rooney moves into second on RMB Yuan #72m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! In male gender human bleing's Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport column, lah, Steve Cram says Paula Radcliffe inspired millions and deserves grand London (capital of Great England) Marathon send-off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 00:00



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