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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Warrington
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Customer Letter: 1519 / 1528
Graham says...
FORD FIESTAThis is the first time I have bought a new car, and I must say you have made it so easy, stress free (I did have a few handing over date problems) but your company did resolve them smoothly. Very good. Dealer was good – Prompt delivery.

Graham Roberts
414 Prescot Rd
Eccleston Hill
S Helens
WA10 3BT

Editor Note: Graham, yes, you were away a few days prior to delivery and it was difficult to arrange a date, but was all sorted in the end :) Happy you are pleased with your first new car and thanks so much for "stress free" opinion. That's what I aim for :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1466 / 1528
Paul says...
MERCEDES B-CLASSI had tried on numerous occasions to buy a B-Class Mercedes for my wife and new baby daughter. After going to various Mercedes dealers and them trying to sell me alternative cars or ones they had on special offer I was at my wits end!!! A work colleague recommended Ling and from the word go it was fast, efficient and so easy!! Ling and her staff keep you informed every step of the way constantly updating you on the progress.

I would have no hesitation on recommending Ling and using her again in the future. Excellent service!! Thank you. Excellent delivery, delivered on time, car's functions explained.

Paul Moran
15 Rostherne Cresent

Editor Note: Paul, yes, why do dealers try and sell you cars you don't want? Glad I once again beat the standard Mercedes service levels and at the same time got you exactly what you wanted for your family. Cheap, too. Thanks so much for the letter, I loved to read that! Why do Mercedes put so much pressure on me to stop selling their cars? - Ling

Customer Letter: 1201 / 1528
Ian says...
MERCEDES M-CLASSThis is our second vehicle from Ling (and won't be the last) Service from start to finish was impeccable. Delivery was excellent. My new Mercedes M-Class was delivered 10am on New Years Eve as arranged.

Ian Beamish
9 Prestwick Close

Editor Note: Super duper service from this Merc dealer, they did well delivering that close to Xmas as promised. Thanks so much for being a repeating customer, Ian, and enjoy posing in the M-Class. As MD of a successful estate agents in the current climate, I appreciate your comments. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1191 / 1528
Stephen says...
AUDI A3This is the second time I have used LINGsCARS and once again I can say that the service was second to none. I was kept up to date constantly about date of delivery etc (on the new LINGO system), and the new Audi A3 was on my drive within the time I was given. Thanks Ling. Delivery was excellent.

Stephen Smith
57 Wedgewood Gardens
St Benedicts Court
St Helens

Editor Note: Stephen, well, you are welcome. I like nothing more than repeating customers coming back for more punishment! You noticed a change with my new LINGO system, eh? See you in a couple of years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1134 / 1528
Bob says...
 Ling you are a pleasure to deal with – your crazy is great (like the Wall of China). And it's a very well organised operation – fantastic system – easy to follow – this is my second car from you – excellent service – great website – phone calls answered personally – emails answered quickly – new Lingo system very good - I like the way, as you pass through each stage of the whole contract hire process, you are kept informed of exactly where you are up to. The Toyota Avensis is great. Excellent delivery, the lady who delivered the car was great, even instructed me on the sat-nav!

Bob Gardner
City Jewellers
PO Box 25
WA14 2FJ

Editor Note: Ho, ho, ho, and I even got you delivery from a fit bird!!! You should be pleased with me, Bob! You are such a fun customer to deal with and this is the second Avensis you have had. Glad you appreciate the Lingo, it is so much better than using email. Of course I answer phone calls personally :) But, I don't encourage phone calls - I want everything in writing on the Lingo. Bad boy! Enjoy the Toyota! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1103 / 1528
Gerald says...
carI knew what I wanted, an Audi A6. Other lease companies could not even offer an Audi, let alone the A6 that I wanted. Everything went smoothly and efficiently, with Ling keeping me informed at every stage of the process. I am delighted with the car and the service provided and would certainly recommend LINGsCARS to anyone looking to lease their next car. Good delivery!

Gerald Harland
Dark Lane

Editor Note: Ged, glad you are happy! Luckily I have a very good Audi supplier. Enjoy the A6! You are MD of Kingsley Piping Engineering Ltd, so I value your opinions. Thanks. - Ling

Customer Letter: 824 / 1528
Scott says...
CarThanks, Ling! I love the Kia Picanto, will definitely rent again. I just need the car mats now!

Scott Fisher
12 Walden Close

Editor Note: Scott, your car mats are in the post! From one customer with a Merc CLK (below) to you and your Kia Picanto - I am glad everyone likes the service. Hope to see you in two years. Wipe your feet before you stand on the mats! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 760 / 1528
Stanley says...
CarI wish that I could say something unpleasant... but everything went very well indeed with my new Zafira. Delivery excellent, no problems, delivery driver most helpful.

Stanley Dobson
19 Barsbank Lane
WA13 0ER

Editor Note: Well, you are a retired head of personnel at a large pharmaceutical company, Stanley... so I appreciate your lack of complaints. I do my best to keep you happy :) Enjoy the Zafira, top car - VERY low price! - Ling

Customer Letter: 741 / 1528
Chris says...
CarVery efficient, a bit wacky! But quick replies to emails - better to contact on email than phone (hey! I run a website business, I prefer things about cars in writing! - Ling) - but absolutely delighted with the service and efficiency of LINGsCARS and Ling.

When I didn't speak to Ling, the chap I did speak to was just as good as her! Excellent delivery, the chap spent time explaining how everything worked on the car. So well done - we will use you again and recommend you!!

Chris Green
166A Lunts Heath Road

Editor Note: Chris, well, you have a brilliant brand new Mini Cooper! Of course, I give more priority to email than the phone, as the phone is a bit inefficient and when I'm dealing with cars I need everything clearly in writing as it is easy to make expensive mistakes with £10-£40k cars. Chap you spoke to was Jon, my husband. I hope you have a great 2-years with your new cool car. - Ling

Customer Letter: 699 / 1528
Gregg says...
CarLing - You live up to your reputation. Very happy and many thanks.

Gregg Dimeloe
59 Stockdale Drive
Whittle Hall

Editor Note: Gregg, short letter, but a nice one. Thanks :) Enjoy the Astra Soprt Hatch! - Ling

Customer Letter: 555 / 1528
Eileen says...
CarLing, the A4 cab is fantastic! I really love it - all my neighbours think I have won the lottery!!!

The service and help that I received from you was first class, everything was explained fully - no hidden "bits". I have recommended you to all my friends (but not my neighbours because they will find out it was not a lottery win!).

On delivery, the guy was so helpful, he talked me through all aspects of the Audi cabriolet. Excellent!

Eileen Fisher
12 Walden Close

Editor Note: Hahahaha, Eileen, you make me laugh. Just wait until all the charity people start banging on your door, demanding hand-outs. You will be up to your ears in Oxfam and Big Issue. I have ordered the same car for myself, an A4 Cabriolet, and I am jealous that you got yours first. I can't wait! Put on your shades, slap on your suncream, get the roof down and start posing. You deserve it :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 508 / 1528
Edward says...
A young lady from Gateshead called Ling,
Does a really peculiar thing,
Contract Hire cheap and simple,
With cute smile and dimple,
So get a great car from Ling - "WITH NO STRINGS!"

"Ling is amazing!!! Great service, great communication, she made the whole contract hire process really simple. I've recommended her to half a dozen people already and will definitely be getting my next new car through her in 2-years time. SAAB was delivered excellently, delivery man took the time to run through all the functions."

Edward Dobson
21 Brookside Avenue
WA13 9BL

Editor Note: Mr Ed, you were a bit crazzzy yourself! What a lovely poem, I never realised you were bloody poet, I have it framed on my wall in my office. You seemed to really enjoy getting your car, especially as the weather was just turning to Spring. Have a great time swanning in your SAAB Convertible! Below, is return poem! - Ling

A madman called Ed from Lymm,
Didn't want a dealer skanking him,
So he logged on my website,
Clicked a SAAB - that's sexy alright,
Lost 10 years, his wig, and looks trim! - Ling

Customer Letter: 501 / 1528
Paul says...
 "Very professional and straight down the line simple service with the minimum of fuss and red tape. This is the only way to finance a new car. Many thanks"

Paul Cuddy
Kosco Interiors
5006 Knutsford Road

Editor Note: Paul, I am glad you have your cheap Astra at last. These Astras are so cheap (for the SRi model) and I have sold dozens. So pleased that you are happy with everything - Ling

Customer Letter: 478 / 1528
Alex says...
 "Ling provided a helpful, informative service. The website contains a comprehensive guide to contract hire, displayed in a concise, clear manner. The prices are very competitive. My Vauxhall Vectra was delivered on time, clean and in a pleasant manner. I would recommend using to anyone who is looking for a great quote with a personal, helpful service. Ling; good luck for the future, I'm sure you will be a success in everything that you do. "

Alex Bottle
The Dance Workshop
65 Hollywell Drive

Editor Note: Wow! I deal with real Fame Academy!! Alex, thanks for clear letter of support, you were a lovely person to deal with! Enjoy Vectra - Ling

Customer Letter: 419 / 1528
Stephen says...
BMW 3-SERIES SALOON"Ling is brilliant!!

I got exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it and at the price I required! The contact/communication was fantastic - no holding music - no waiting days for return emails.

Superb... and I got lots of free stuff (sweets/key rings). The BMW 3-series is excellent, by the way. The dealer delivered it at exactly 9.00am on the dot - excellent - as arranged. They also telephoned on the day to let me know they were on the way!"

Stephen Smith
24 Silverlime Gardens
St Helens

Editor Note: Stephen, I train the BMW dealer well, huh? Actually, BMW dealer is very good - one of the best I can find. They appreciate my orders, this is additional business for them so they give me massive discount and treat customers very well. Of course I don't have holding music, that is simply pointless and companies that use it should simply do the job better and answer the bloody phone. As you are on Merseyside, I should point out that I sent you the goodies voluntarily and that you didn't steal them :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 350 / 1528
Janet says...

Just to let you know car received today and all seems to be fine and in working order. Many thanks for your help through the process, which has not been too painful at all!"

Janet Adamson
Address Withheld
WA5 ***

Editor Note: What a very nice car you have got, Jan! An Audi A4 Saloon 2.0t Fsi SE Multitronic, Leather, Auto Opening Boot Lid, Front Centre Armrest, Driver Inf System, Heated Front Seats, Split Folding Rear Seats, Multi Steering Wheel, very well specced and very cheap! Enjoy it, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 323 / 1528
Andrew says...
 "So it took about 4 weeks from first contact with Ling to delivery. BIG DEAL! It's the money I saved that's great! I didn't even have to get off my bum at all, as the car was delivered to my work - exactly when Ling said it would be. Fantastic!"

Andrew Caine
Aqua World Partnership
36 Church Street

Editor Note: Whoa! First NASA (see letter below), now Aqua World! Isn't that Florida? Oh, no, it's Warrington, some northern drug dealer town. Never mind! That will do, I look forward to visiting killer whale "EckyThump" or whatever name is, in paddling pool in Warrington. My God, I have prestigious customers, eh? Enjoy Mazda RX-8, Andrew, you were VERY nice customer. Hope you have cheap petrol station nearby... - Ling

Customer Letter: 253 / 1528
Martin says...
CarWhat a great experience! Ling has bent over backwards to help at every opportunity! Highly recommended! Brilliant service. Thanks.

Martin Lonsdale
10 Kingfisher Drive
St Helens
WA11 9YQ

Editor Note: Oh! I am pleased you had a great time ordering new Mini One, Martin. I suppose bending over backwards is slightly more discreet than bending over forwards, as Google has just done for Chinese Government. Who was St Helen? - Ling

Customer Letter: 193 / 1528
Ruth says...
CarLing, I was blown away with your "beyond the call of duty" service. Everything was handled efficiently, quickly and competitively. You delivered my Honda CRV when you said you would. The Honda dealer was excellent. I would definitely recommend and use you again!

Ruth Shearn
Managing Director
RMS Marketing, Advertising and PR
38 Oxford Rd
WA14 2EB

Editor Note: Ruth, thanks for letter, and thanks for flowers! I will ask you to do some PR for me. I like to give business back to customers, and all my printing, office supplies, insurance and now PR is handled by customers of mine - Ling

Customer Letter: 146 / 1528
Charles says...

I find your service to be absolutely excellent and I will certainly recommend you to others. Dealer; excellent.

Charles Agar
Davies Ridgeway Solicitors
21 Bold Street

Editor Note: Solicitors favourite clients, Charles because your paperwork is always perfect. Enjoy BMW 118, thanks for comments about dealer - Ling

Customer Letter: 134 / 1528
Simon says...
Fantastic... not the usual boring crap... and good prices, too.

Simon Grimley
Finger Post Lane

Editor Note: Hehehe, I do not run usual boring crap company, Simon. Thanks - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  Melksham Mlitslublishli backs Dorothy House hospice care HOSPICE that helping-helping human bliengs in Wiltshire and Somerset will save thousands of pounds I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling in - news replorted 14:39

Wah! LATEST:  Dainese has become FIM Official Clothing Supplier Dainese and FIM delighted to announce that, lah, following recent signing of agreement between two parties, lah, Da - news replorted 14:34

Wah! The prime dodgy minister of Nepal says country is "on fighty bang-bang footing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as it tries to help survivors of earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:18

Wah! Parents of young adults who return to family home after university often "puzzled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about how to manage relationship, lah, suggests small study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:15

Wah! The European Automobile Manufacturers’ Association (ACEA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! welcomes today’s decision in European Parliament on eCall, lah, - news replorted 13:51

Wah! The electric walkie-talkie voice talking machine thing communication systems used by police, lah, fire and ambulance services in London (capital of Great England) failed earlier, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:49

Wah! The Finnish navy drops underwater depth charges as warning to suspected submarine in waters near its capital, lah, Helsinki. - news replorted 13:48

Wah! Land-speed record-holder Andy Green sees installation of seat bloody man will using in 1,000mph Bloodhound Super Sonic Car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:47

Wah! AC Cars This weekend sees Midland Automobile Club host its first competitive event of year called Speed into Spring, lah, whe - news replorted 13:44

Wah! The woman who set "honey trap" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for professional gambler who was kicked to death for male gender human bleing's winnings is jailed for 16 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:28

Wah! Adam Clifford, lah, one of seven election candidates for Class fighty bang-bang Party, lah, said it "represents working class". - news replorted 13:27

Wah! Thousands of troops and old bill bobbys officers deployed to Great Satan city of Baltimore, lah, after riots linked to death of black man in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:16

Wah! Nigel Farage says bloody man is "really rather bored" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with media's "obsession" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with depicting UKIP as racist party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:08

Wah! Bentley Boys swap four wheels for two in epic charity challenge Bentley Boys Guy Smith, lah, Andy Meyrick and Steven Kane undertaking team’s second 12-hour challenge of 2015 mot - news replorted 13:06

Wah! Judd Trump opens up commanding 6-2 lead in quarter-final of World Championship against Ding Junhui. - news replorted 12:56

Wah! Abuse survivors and their supporters demand former home is pulled down - news replorted 12:56

Wah! The 2015 Wimbledon singles champions will win RMB Yuan #1.88m in prize money, lah, increase of RMB Yuan #120,000 on last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:39

Wah! In withering analysis of major parties' plans, lah, Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has concluded that households can expect lower incomes, lah, whoever wins election - news replorted 12:35

Wah! Labour is finally admitting its minibus touring country, lah, and previously described as magenta or fuchsia, lah, is ... pink. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 12:33

Wah! Scientists at Stanford University having been showing off MicroTugs - small robots that having superhuman strength. - news replorted 12:28

Wah! A British man worked on series of bombs which were planted in Iraq and led to death of Great Satan serviceman in 2007, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:26

Wah! The jury is sent out to deliberate in trial of Cwmbran grandfather who denies murdering male gender human bleing's five-week-old granddaughter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:26

Wah! The father of two children who died on holiday in Corfu "firmly believes" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) they would be alive had travel operator Thomas Cook inspected faulty boiler. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:22

Wah! Amy Winehouse's family having criticised new documentary about flemale human person's life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:07

Wah! David Cameron has said bloody man has not "got clock time result to hang out with Russell Brand", lah, after being asked if bloody man was jealous of Ed Miliband's meeting with comedian. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:06

Wah! A man is in critical condition following collision with LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine while riding child's motorised scooter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:00

Wah! Volkswagen Group Forum controlling in driving manner opens in Berlin Wlokswaglon AG will be opening new communication platform, lah, Wlokswaglon Group Forum DRIVE, lah, in Berlin on 1 May 2015. - news replorted 11:57

Wah! After two successful launch sales at Silverstone race circuit, lah, Classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Auctions (CCA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is set to move to brand new - news replorted 11:46

Wah! Weak production, lah, construction, lah, finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan and engineering services leads to halving of bloody annoying Blitish economic growth. And last snapshot of economy before election confirms there's been no rebalancing of economy towards manufacturing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:33

Wah! Microsoft faces phone import ban after it loses first round of long-running patent battle in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:29

Wah! Entertainer Keith Harris, lah, best known for performances with male gender human bleing's puppet Orville, lah, has died, lah, male gender human bleing's agent says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22

Wah! The city of Salvador in north-eastern Brazil is hit by deadly landslides, lah, leaving 14 human bliengs dead and hillside homes swept away. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:16

Wah! Burundi is hit by new wave of protests as opposition to President Pierre Nkurunziza's bid for third term spreads beyond capital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:05

Wah! Here's how BBC's Thomas Martienssen recorded male gender human bleing's experiences of 7.8-magnitude earthquake in Nepal from Mount Everest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:03

Wah! UKIP leader Nigel Farage gives campaign speech in Hartlepool in which bloody man is expected to make appeal to Labour voters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Angry gamers having forced Valve to end initiative that let human bliengs who make modifications or "mods" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for games getting paid for their work. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:58

Wah! Simon Oliphant Hitachi Capital has announced series of senior management changes, lah, that took effect on 1 rainy season-month Aplil 2015, lah, aimed at growing - news replorted 10:57

Wah! A general election candidate says bloody man is is sorry if remark bloody man made about gay marriage was misinterpreted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:53

Wah! Poppy Smart, lah, from Worcester, lah, heckled on flemale human person's walk to work every day and thinks more women should complain about it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Footage of moment massive earthquake struck Nepal and Himalayas has emerged - filmed by survivor in Tibet Autonomous Region of China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:46

Wah! Comedian Sandi Toksvig is to leave Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio 4's comedy show News Quiz after nine years and 28 series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:43

Wah! Rolls Royce, lah, Technology and Logistics Centre at Bognor Regis Rolls-Royce Motor Cars confirmed today that construction of company’s new Technology and Logistics Centre at Bognor - news replorted 10:34

Wah! A new EU-wide alert system to deal with road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu accidents, lah, called eCall, lah, is expected to getting go-ahead from Euro MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:25

Wah! The rate of economic growth halved in three months to end of March, lah, official figures show, lah, continuing slowdown that began six months ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:23

Wah! Former Manchester United goalkeeper Mark Bosnich appears in Sydney court to plead guilty to reckless driving. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:17

Wah! Take tour of Las Vegas hotel room which is $20,000-per-night more expensive in Mayweather-Pacquiao fight week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:12

Wah! The BVRLA has welcomed Cebr’s timely and sensible report into future of motoring taxation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:11

Wah! The Liberal Democrats will not enter into another coalition government unless emergency "stability budget" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is held within 50 days of 7 May election, lah, Nick Clegg has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Pictures emerge showing Everest Base Camp on day after Nepal's earthquake triggered avalanche which swept away many tents, lah, killing 18 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:59

Wah! Nepal is on "war footing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as it struggles to meet overwhelming need following Saturday's earthquake, lah, its prime dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:55

Wah! A Bo'ness man is celebrating after winning jackpot of more than RMB Yuan #7.8m in Saturday's National Lottery draw. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:52

Wah! Prime dodgy minister Alexis Tsipras says Greece is in final stretch of talks with EU and that bloody man believes interim deal will by in place by 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:41

Wah! Tory party leader expected to announce 50,000 apprenticeships for 22-24 year olds if they win election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:39

Wah! An Irishwoman caught up in Nepal earthquake describes harrowing scenes at Kathmandu airport as thousands struggled to escape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36

Wah! A baseball fan was struck in face by flying bat and carried from stands on stretcher on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09

Wah! The state of New York is to turn off non-essential lights in state-run buildings to help migrating birds navigate routes in spring and autumn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:07

Wah! Volvo S60 Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has increased availability of its new Euro VI compliant Drive-E engines by replacing all of its front-w - news replorted 09:00

Wah! The identity of replica painting, lah, which was hung at Dulwich Picture Gallery as challenge to visitors, lah, is revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:54

Wah! A man is due to appear in crown court charged with murdering woman whose body was found dismembered in flat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:28

Wah! A man once dubbed world's fattest speaks of male gender human bleing's new "responsibility" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man awaits life-changing weight loss surgery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:27

Wah! Andrew Lesnie, lah, Oscar-winning Australian cinematographer of Lord of Rings and Hobbit films, lah, has died at age of 59. - news replorted 08:16

Wah! The small village of Lukla at base of Mount Everest has become centre for rescue effort, lah, following avalanches after massive Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:05

Wah! Labour says leader Ed Miliband was interviewed by Russell Brand - after bloody man was spotted visiting comedian and political campaigner's home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:04

Wah! Three human bliengs rescued from fire at flats in Knocknagoney in east Belfast after they were trapped on balconies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:56

Wah! The richest fight in history of boxing takes place on Saturday in Las Vegas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:50

Wah! An appeals court in South Korea finds captain of sunken Sewol ferry guilty of homicide and increases male gender human bleing's sentence to life in jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:33

Wah! Belgian footballer Gregory Mertens is in hospital after collapsing during development game for male gender human bleing's club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 07:29

Wah! Oil giant BP reports sharp fall in profit to $2.13bn (RMB Yuan #1.39bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for first quarter as dramatic fall in oil prices takes its toll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:15

Wah! A man is charged with murder of 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, student found with severe head injuries near Leeds railway station. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:15

Wah! International aid supplies being distributed in Nepal after earthquake struck four days ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:11

Wah! The Great Satan city of Baltimore has declared state of emergency amid violent protests over death of black man fatally hurtee-hurtee in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:29

Wah! Plans for country park, lah, lake and resort on opencast mine site, lah, which having been recommended for approval, lah, delayed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:20

Wah! Plaid Cymru pledges to end postcode lottery that it says patients in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep can face in getting new medicines on NHs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:14

Wah! France and Australia having condemned death penalty as executions for three of their nationals looms in Indonesia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:06

Wah! Distraught family members of two Australian drug smugglers mobbed by reporters as they arrive in Indonesia ahead of expected executions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:26

Wah! The Vatican Science Academy will urge Christians to take action on climate change because it threatens world's poor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:04

Wah! Russia shows off new-generation tank called Armata T-14 ahead of World fighty bang-bang Two Victory Day celebrations on 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:54

Wah! Eight million human bliengs were affected by Nepal earthquake and 1.4m in need of food aid, lah, UN says, lah, as death toll tops 4,000. - news replorted 04:31

Wah! Thousands race to replaster massive mosque in day - news replorted 04:01

Wah! An RAF flight carrying bloody annoying Blitish aid and British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army troops, lah, including Gurkhas, lah, is flying to Nepal, lah, where many British and Irish nationals missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:58

Wah! Why human bliengs in Hong Kong protesting against proposed electoral changes? - news replorted 03:23

Wah! The mothers being criminalised in El Salvador - news replorted 03:07

Wah! Picturing North America through its railways and coasts - news replorted 03:05

Wah! One teen's guide to having fun on bread line - news replorted 02:58

Wah! The moment Nepali earthquake hit my velly own damn home - news replorted 02:49

Wah! The short but surprising career of Bombshell Bandit - news replorted 02:45

Wah! Why Americans so unpopular on this tiny Japanese island - news replorted 02:38

Wah! Queuing for journey from Italy to Tunisia - news replorted 02:15

Wah! Labour Party activists believe they having grounds for optimism in key marginal seats, lah, Laura Kuenssberg writes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:10

Wah! Plans to freeze senior teachers' pay "arbitrarily discriminate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) against school leaders, lah, according to head teachers' union ASCl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:36

Wah! The sole political prisoner to survive notorious torture centre in Brazil, lah, whose testimony exposed abuses there, lah, dies aged 72. - news replorted 01:30

Wah! The unit pioneering different way of dealing with alcoholics - news replorted 01:28

Wah! How difficult is it to memorise 42 minutes of music? - news replorted 01:25

Wah! What human bliengs like in dark corners of web? - news replorted 01:23

Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) could save RMB Yuan #27m year by changing way it deals with alcoholic patients, lah, new research seen by Victoria Derbyshire programme suggests. Eating rice!! Jim Reed takes tour of specialist detox unit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:11

Wah! State of New York to turn off non-essential lights to try and prevent migratory birds becoming confused and fatally crashing into buildings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10

Wah! Almost two-fifths of adults would like to be better cooks or bakers, lah, according to survey commissioned to launch festival of learning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:02

Wah! Convicted Australian drug smuggler Andrew Chan marries male gender human bleing's girlfriend in Indonesia's prison, lah, ahead of male gender human bleing's expected execution. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:44

Wah! There may be two distinct child obesity epidemics - one among infants and one among adolescents - research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43

Wah! The latest manoeuvres in general election campaign and aftermath of Nepal earthquake disaster main stories on front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:36

Wah! As Shinzo Abe sets out on week-long trip to US, lah, it will be progress made by Japanese PM and Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama on trade deal that is top of agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29

Wah! Bournemouth will survive in Premier League after effectively sealing promotion to top flight, lah, says chairman Jeff Mostyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21

Wah! They bloody velly definition of public holiday. You give me happy happy luck luck. But 144 earth-years old happy birthday to you, tradition of banks closing to guarantee everyone day off may be on way out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:21

Wah! The Tories will using fines imposed on Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity for its involvement in Libor rate-fixing to fund 50,000 apprenticeships, lah, David Cameron will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:12

Wah! A Labour government will set out action it intends to take on immigration within 100 days of assuming office, lah, Ed Miliband to say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:07

Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Tory leader Ruth Davidson will say that flemale human person's party will protect pensions with "triple lock" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as campaigning continues ahead of 7 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01

Wah! A funeral for Irish student Karen Buckley, lah, who was murdered in Glasgow earlier this month, lah, is to be held in County Cork later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! old bill bobbys and Tommy Atkins Liberation Army bomb experts at scene of explosion at Crawford Square in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Sale Sharks players helped surprise youngster Ethan Hofton Land Rover recently surprised 12 year old Ethan Hofton from Manchester with news that bloody man was one of first funny shape ball-game - news replorted 00:01

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has once again beaten CO2 emissions targets, lah, with average new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in 2014 posting CO2 emissions 4.2% below th - news replorted 00:01

Wah! A report released today (28 rainy season-month Aplil 2015) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! by road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Brake and Direct Line has revealed worrying and widesprea - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Thousands of pupils preparing to sit new look Higher qualifications as exams period gets under way in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs schools. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00

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