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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Search my letters page!
From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

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Customer Letter: 1338 / 1528
Gayle says...
CITROEN C4 GRAND PICASSOA great service provided by Ling and her team from start to finish. To begin with, the website looks a little daunting but you soon get the hang of it. All the way through the process you are kept up to date with what's happening. No lapse in communication whatsoever. I'll definitely be using LingsCars again! Excellent delivery by the Citroen dealer - could not be faulted!

Gayle Connon
11 Catriona Terrace
EH26 0LX

Editor Note: Gayle, so pleased you are happy! The C4GP is a great 7-seater! It's hard to add anything to your letter. Thanks so much for being a lovely customer. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1257 / 1528
Frank says...
carA bit zany, at times unusual, free gifts galore, but always excellent communication and 100% professional service. Will most definitely use you again and recommend to all my friends and work colleagues.

Frank Reynolds
Qse Systems
42/3 Hardengreen Business Park
Dalhousie Road
EH22 3NU

Editor Note: Frank... you are a management consultant (now with a new MK6 Golf) so I appreciate your kind words. You are also Scottish and I always enjoy dealing with ethnic minorities :) Go drive your car, and thanks for the biz. Zany is good, I guess, hahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1175 / 1528
William says...
LEXUS IS Doing business with Ling was a refreshing change to the normal. The Lexus IS was delivered to my satisfaction and is an absolute stormer. Hope to do business with Ling in the future. Delivery was excellent.

William Brodie
1 Talisman Place
EH45 9BQ

Editor Note: Bill Brodie (a good Scottish name!), thanks for the letter. I am relieved I am not normal. Hope the lovely smooth Lexus is impressing you. Good cars (despite being Japanese). - Ling

Customer Letter: 1173 / 1528
David says...
 It was such a pleasant change being able to complete the transaction for my new Subaru Legacy without having to deal with unnecessary paperwork or delays. The overall service was first class - and a bundle of laughs, as well. I'm not Duncan!

David Clark
Hughes Walker Solicitors
13 Atholl Place

Editor Note: Hahahaha, I called you Duncan by accident. Bloody Scottish names! :) As a solicitor, I look forward to the writ when the Subaru breaks down. Now... here is an unusual car, I do not sell many of these, they are a low volume model. I'm not sure I have ever seen one! Hope you like it, it is certainly rare. They get very good reviews. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1168 / 1528
Sonia says...
FORD KAI am disappointed that I have not received my handbook for my car, a new Ford Ka. I love my new Ka, its so economic and nippy to run about in it. I can even have sex in my dream machine. Delivery was fine.

Sonia Geddes
28 Provost Melrose Place
EH45 9BP

Editor Note: Sonia, yep, the stupid dealer has forgotten to send your handbook with your car. Aren't dealers hopeless? But the main thing is, you have your new Ka. Hmmm, I just know there will be loads of clicks on this letter because you use the magic SEO word. How you manage that in a Ford Ka is beyond me! You must be very flexible and have a small partner, hahaha. It is a real Sex-In-The-City car :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1163 / 1528
Claire says...
MAZDA 2Ling was extremely friendly and helpful during our time of leasing our Mazda. The website is very unique and easy to work. Ling was very prompt and informative and the information she gave us was very precise. I will certainly be using LINGsCARS again and would highly recommend her to friends and family. Delivery service was excellent. Very helpful and friendly.

Claire Affleck
1 Pentland View Terrace
EH25 9LX

Editor Note: Claire, well, you work at a major bank, so I keep my fingers crossed for your job prospects! Hope you are enjoying the Mazda 2. You were very friendly to deal with, thanks for making my job simple and being so good with the paperwork. Speak soon! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1133 / 1528
Walter says...
 Initially I was a little wary about the lease contract concept, but was convinced after studying Ling's site. Having completed all the proceedings I am now driving a very nice car I otherwise would not have been able to afford. Ling makes the daunting process easy (and enjoyable if you have a sense of humour). I am a convert! Thanks. Good, delivery as promised, no further dealer contact though.

Walter Aitchison
1a Murray Place
EH45 8DJ

Editor Note: Hahahaha, you insist I call you "Iceman", Walter! So, I call myself "Maverick" when I talk to you :) You were fun, and you are correct - people with sense of humour missing need not apply! Why do you want further contact from the dealer, they will only mess it up? You should be damn happy with your Super Duper Vauxhall Sport Hatch which was soooooo cheap! You got a 1.9 CDTi (150bhp) SRi for the price of a 1.4 LS. Maverick out! What a bloody Top Gun! Hahahaha! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1096 / 1528
Julie says...
 After dealing with other leasing companies in the past, I found LINGsCARS to be a refreshing change. Ling's website is fantastic! Not boring like the others. The service she provides was second to none and I will certainly be using her company in the future. I will have no hesitation recommending her to my friends. Good delivery, but couldn't deliver on the first day advised.

p.s. Loved the sweets!

Julie Connelly
42 Leyland Road
West Lothian
EH48 2TL

Editor Note: Jules, you were a great customer, and you are a Tesco Personal Shopper, so I will say thanks for your order and every little helps! You were a breath of fresh air to deal with on my LINGO, always so happy! Enjoy the Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch! Those Chinese sweets were withdrawn soon after I sent them to you, they contained the Melamine. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1058 / 1528
Toby says...
CHEVROLET CAPTIVAOverall a very slick hassle-free process. Lingo is a great system and all my queries were answered in ultra-fast time. Car arrived on time, well valeted and as described. Got the colour (black) I wanted despite my local Chevrolet dealer telling me “no black Captivas available in UK for 6 months”!!! Fine, clean car delivered with nothing missing. No dust caps on the number plate screws mean they miss out on an "excellent" rating. I have already recommended Ling.

Toby S***
Address withheld
EH10 ***

Editor Note: Dust caps!! Hahahahah. Sorry to laugh, Toby, but if that is all then I would accept that for every delivery. As you work in car sales at a big retail garage, I a) appreciate your comments, b) realise you don't want your address shown, c) wonder what they will say when you turn up to work in your new Captiva? Fun, fun, fun. See you in 2-years! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1020 / 1528
Lori says...
CarI quite often forgot I wasn't Ling's only customer! Ling provided me with probably the best service I have ever received from a company in any industry.

The online sign in area and LINGO message board is a fantastic tool for busy people to use. And Ling's response times and updates were great and frequent. I have recommended LINGsCARS to lots of people already and will definitely use again! Thank you!

Quick delivery, my Mazda MX5 arrives at 7.15am, great!

Lori O'Neill
12 East Pilton Farm Crescent

Editor Note: What an alarm call! Lori, you are talking about my LINGO system and people reading this will not know what it is. It is my behind-the-scenes communication area for customers, 100% secure. It is quite good, all built myself :) As you are a Business And Systems Integration Analyst, I value your opinion, thanks! You have a super car with your new MX5, just wait for the sunshine. - Ling

Customer Letter: 731 / 1528
Dean says...
CarLing, I hope you are enjoying my Australian sweets as much as I'm enjoying my Volvo C30!

As easy as getting a Big Mac - pick the car, fill out the forms and HEY PRESTO... new car! As they say in Scotland, it's been "bra" (and not what you use to hold your best assets). Excellent delivery, good service all the way.

p.s. Hope you didn't choke on those cherries!

Dean Oliver
3 Lady Place
EH54 6TB

Editor Note: Dean, REALLLLLY liked the raspberry truffle bar from Australia! Sounds like you are having a great time in the Volvo, hope it causes less wind than a Big Mac!
You were a brilliant customer, despite being an ethnic Scottish :) I still can't figure your "bra" comment, sounds a bit rude, but maybe not. - Ling

Customer Letter: 664 / 1528
Gavin says...
CarGreat service and good communication. Dealing with "the boss" means things get done and in a timeworthy fashion. I must sound like "the boss" that I am with that comment! My Citroen Berlingo was delivered within 1 week, with half tank of fuel. Thanks Ling, do you pay referral fees?

Gavin McKenzie
24 Gardiner Cres
East Lothian
EH32 9HB

Editor Note: Gavin, no, I don't pay referral fees, as my prices are so close to the bone that I do not have margin. Plus I refuse to increase costs for referred customers, just to generate some commission for referrers. Sounds terrible? I just cannot really do much about this. Berlingos usually arrive fast as hell, Citroen are good at this. Thanks, Boss! :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 514 / 1528
Martin says...
 "Ling, the Mazda RX-8's here - just going for a drive. Catch ya later!!!!"

... (later)...

Ling, the car's excellent, had a good drive and it's just what I expected and wanted. I can't thank you enough, I thought that getting a car would be a nightmare. On the contrary, It really has been a pleasure doing business with you from start to finish (All done from Iraq by Fed-Ex! Martin arrived back in the UK on the day he collected his car and wrote this! - Ling). I can't wait till I need a replacement because I know exactly where to come and I'll be recommending you to anyone that will listen! I'll get a pic for you soon (without my big machinegun) but it's pissing down with rain at the moment. Thanks again.

p.s. Tell Suzie at your dealers, that if she wants to see my big gun, she only has to ask! ;0)"

Martin ****** (name withheld for Al-Qaeda reasons)
EH11 ***

Editor Note: Martin is one of my favourite customers this year. He is a Private Military Contractor in Iraq, so I have withheld his name and address in case any car-rrazy Muslims want to pop his clogs (no offence to sensible Muslims). Without people like Martin, no way would the US or UK Army be able to operate in Iraq, they are providing the security for people like British Government officials, industry big-wigs, TV and press and even the military itself! PMCs also enable ordinary Iraqis to get on with semi-normal lives and they are enabling rebuilding of the infrastructure of Iraq. Also, they spend a lot of time to assist training Iraqi law and order forces. Do not confuse British PMCs with American PMCs. As ever, British ones operate much more low-profile and sensibly. All are professionals and most are ex-special forces or elite military, or other specialists... these are salt of earth!

Here are some lovely pics of Martin doing his job out in Iraq, and he says "I've never lost a car out here...had a few bumps, scratches and holes put in them but never had one stolen!"

Well, glad Martin isn't planning to take his RX-8 to Iraq. With the common knowledge that these RX-8 engines blow up from time to time, the Mazda might be confused for a roadside IED! Zoom, zoom, boom!... hehehehe,

Please note that Mazda UK have applied pressure to my suppliers behind my back and blacklisted me from supplying more Mazdas, despite having many, many 100% happy and loyal customers who enjoy the cars, like Martin. Mazda UK's tactics are totally unethical, bullying, restrictive and unfair. Instead of saying what they want to me, directly... they insist suppliers stop dealing with me and they attack me behind my back - so I cannot challenge them! This is cowardly behaviour. Just to let you know what I have to put up with from these big companies trying to strangle me - Ling

Customer Letter: 477 / 1528
Kevin says...
 "I was initially slightly apprehensive of doing business with this somewhat bonkers Chinese lady with the unconventional website - however Ling offered the best deals around - no one could even get close to her quote! Ling offers the kind of customer service that I would happily pay more for, she even gave me her mobile number!!! Ps. car is also fantastic."

Kevin Haggart
7 New Lane

Editor Note: Ah, this illustrates my point to other car dealers, Kevin. Car is secondary to service!!! Anyway, the dealer did mess up on delivery and caused a delay due to the transporter breaking down on way to Edinburgh. Not that that was the dealer fault, but their communication was slow. Still, it got there 1 day late, so not too bad. Zoom, zoom! - Ling

Customer Letter: 468 / 1528
Harry says...
MAZDA MX-5"Personal Contract Hire was a completely new concept for me, and as an elderly gentleman entering his second childhood and getting a long wanted sports car (!) it was reassuring to be dealing with ONE person who seemed genuinely interested and who answered all my queries promptly.

The paperwork was a minimum and email communication great. All in all I am very pleased with the service and the car - it's just a pity I have no hair to blow in the wind!

Delivery of my car was good, I only met the delivery driver but the car was well prepared and came with petrol in the tank!"

Harry Dinning
14 Priory Road
EH49 6BS

Editor Note: Harry, you were the most polite and charming customer I have dealt with all year! You even tell me you have special name for Sundays "Henry", hehehe. This is your real name, and you tell me off when I use it! Thanks for being so kind to me and for sending such nice emails! Glue your wig on!!! - Ling

Customer Letter: 429 / 1528
Daniel says...
VAUXHALL ZAFIRA"Thank you very much - the Zafira is working out great. Jon was very helpful when you were away in China. And now I've got four free keyrings (complete with nuclear rocket) - what else could I possibly need?"

Daniel Holmes
Flat 3F1
26 Dundas Street

Editor Note: Exactly, Dan! Yep, another satisfied cheap Zafira customer (cheap Zafira - not cheap customer, even though you are in Edinburgh :). These Vauxhall Zafiras have been incredibly popular - brand new model and the cheapest 7-seater available. Plus free aircon on the Diesel Life model. Brilliant, eh? Plus, please note!!! I did LOADS of work from China, each day clearing over half the emails. That's the benefit of a proper electronic sales system - good, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 374 / 1528
Allan says...
MAZDA 6"Ling, just to let you know that the Mazda 6 has arrived and to thank you for your excellent service."

Allan Tye
Arrell Associates
104 South Street
EH48 3JU

Editor Note: Allan, glad you like your new Mazda 6. Very pleased to receive praise from a firm like yours which specialises in implementing Quality Management Systems ISO 9001-2000. Also, I'm always happy to deal with people from Autonomous Scottish Region, despite fact I often need to translate telephone messages - Ling

Customer Letter: 294 / 1528
Graham says...
 "Ling is fab. The personal touch is much better that dealing with faceless wonders in other companies - very reasonable too!!"

Graham Moir
My Home Stirling
EH51 9JG

Editor Note: I am F-A-B because I am having Thunderbird Nuclear Missile Truck, hehehe. Note that my "personal touch" is down telephone and on web, not in person! Enjoy SAAB! - Ling

Customer Letter: 234 / 1528
Karen says...
CarCarWe were going to phone you today to thank you for your help, Ling! The 2 x Shoguns are fab. We are delighted with them and delighted with the deal you managed to get for us. Neal at the dealer was really helpful and delivery was very prompt. We will definitely recommend you, Ling. You are great, your marketing is great, most of all YOUR DEALS ARE THE BEST!! Thanks,

Karen McKinnon
Smith Allen Marketing
Newbattle Awey College
Newbattle Road
EH22 3LL

Editor Note: Ho, another Scottish! It is great to be complimented on my marketing by a marketing company! Thanks! Glad you like the 2 x Shoguns, Karen. Look forward to snow in Edinburgh so you can try them out, eh? - Ling

Customer Letter: 222 / 1528
Dale says...
CarI want a van! I want it cheap! I want it soon! I want it delivered with no hassle! Who do I call? - LING!!!

Delivered? YES!

Value for money? OUTSTANDING!

Would I go anywhere else? YOU WOULD HAVE TO HOLD A GUN TO MY HEAD!

Ling wins everytime. Unbeatable value, top service and a human. None of your smarmy sales rubbish! Ling for PM!

Dale Mykoliw
Managing Director
54 Talisman Rise
EH54 6PL

Editor Note: Dale, thanks especially for note explaining how to pronounce your name. It is remarkably similar to certain Welsh railway station. If you ever need any help with Chinese, please to ask me... "Ling for PM!" Wah, this is first time anyone suggests THAT! My closest link with PM is that my nuclear rocket truck is in Tony Blair's constituency at Sedgefield, by A1(M). Enjoy Citroen Dispatch, Dale - Ling

Customer Letter: 214 / 1528
Dale says...
CarMy new VW Passat was delivered in lightning speed, in perfect condition on the back of a truck, bang on time. The delivery service was courteous and helpful. Zero hassle, zero problems - and cheaper than any rival with excellent communication all the way. Nothing was too much for Ling to handle. I have sung her praises to all!!!

Simply put - LARGE COMPANIES = Problems and cost more; LING = You get what you want, cheaper, when you want it, with ease and no pressure or hassle - what joy! I will never order from anywhere else again. The only problem is the sweets are YUK. I like chocolate.

Dale Mykoliw
54 Talisman Rise
EH54 6PL

Editor Note: Another sweet cruncher! I am going to put filter on website: ONLY CUSTOMERS WHO SUCK SWEETS ALLOWED. Subtle flavours of red and green tea and ginger dissolve onto tongue for taste-buds to savour, if sucked. Flavour crashed down throat if chewed. Please to be more gentle with gob. By the way, I am glad you like car, Dale, even though I cannot say your surname - it is damn bloody foreign name - it was a pleasure to have you as customer - Ling

Customer Letter: 117 / 1528
Gladys says...
CarHello Ling,

You were so helpful and so nice on the phone, it was a pleasure doing business with you. I appreciated the speed with which you completed the leasing of the Almera. The driver was very polite and the car was delivered on time and in good order. The dealer was excellent. Thank you for everything.

Gladys Rogan
16 Tweedbank Ley
EH44 6PE

Editor Note: Gladys, I am SO pleased you are happy. You are very nice customer. And dealer does good job, too! Amazing day when Nissan dealer beats Honda dealer (see letter 3 down) - Ling

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Wah! Moeen Ali hits rapid fifty and takes three wickets as Province of Engrish running-dogs win their opening warm-up game against Sri Lanka a. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:57

Wah! Ben Flower is found guilty of gross misconduct by Wigan following male gender human bleing's dismissal for punching in 2014 Super League Grand Final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:57

Wah! A doctor has died in Mali after treating patient who sparked second wave of deadly Ebola virus in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:55

Wah! Four human bliengs bloody annoying Blitish having been arrested for allegedly being involved in hijacking computers, lah, including spying through victims' webcams. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:47

Wah! A Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs school previously graded outstanding is expected to be put into special measures over concerns about sixth-form Islamic society. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:45

Wah! US Vice President Joe Biden meets senior Ukrainian leaders in Kiev amid warnings from Russia against arms supplies to government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:40

Wah! BMW Group UK’s sales and marketing organisation is moving into newly refurbished, lah, purpose-built office campus in Farnb - news replorted 11:40

Wah! YouTube is investing millions of dollars to set up professional studios which free to using for anyone who has at least five thousand subscribers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:27

Wah! One of leading children's publishers, lah, famed for its classic Peter and Jane reading scheme, lah, is to drop gender branding from its books. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:27

Wah! Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger confirms that bloody man tried to sign Lionel Messi from Barcelona alongside Cesc Fabregas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:22

Wah! More than RMB Yuan #30,000 was paid out of public purse towards cost of policing world title fight in Belfast earlier this year, lah, old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:14

Wah! A large fire engulfed factory in western Sydney, lah, Australia, lah, forcing some residents to move from area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:04

Wah! Comedian and writer Mark Thomas is among six journalists taking legal action because they believe Metropolitan old bill bobbys is monitoring them and keeping inflomination on database that deals with extremists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:00

Wah! Lewis Hamilton is fastest ahead of Merceding-Blend team-mate Nico Rosberg in first practice at season-ending Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. - news replorted 10:59

Wah! Mark Addy talks about male gender human bleing's roles in current BBC1 dramas 'Atlantis' and 'Remember Me', lah, and working alongside Michael Palin - news replorted 10:56

Wah! Israel says it has arrested four Palestinian Hamas members who were planning to kill FM Avigdor Lieberman during recent Gaza conflict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Engineering needs to emphasise its creative side to encourage more young human bliengs to take it up as career, lah, says leading member of profession. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:44

Wah! A councillor named as "risk" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to children rejects claim, lah, saying bloody man is victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of bullying. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:41

Wah! Labour's Douglas Alexander says Rochester and Strood by-election result has sent "strong messages" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to all parties and highlighted sense of "alienation". - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Thailand's military leaders say they having no plans to remove martial law soon, lah, amid mounting protests and criticism of junta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:35

Wah! A-Class prestigious headline award for Fleet LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year was given to A-Class – considered by ACFO members to be - news replorted 10:11

Wah! American airline Delta replaces its old Boeing planes in $14bn order (piece of paper signee upee) for 50 Airbus wide-body jets powered by Rolls Royce engines - news replorted 10:03

Wah! A fire in part of Dounreay's Prototype Fast Reactor (PFR) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! facility last month led to "unauthorised release" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of radioactivity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Government borrowing fell to RMB Yuan #7.7bn in October, lah, official figures show, lah, down RMB Yuan #0.2bn from year earlier. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:00

Wah! A floral painting by late Great Satan artist Georgia O'Keefe sells for $44.4m (RMB Yuan #28.8m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at auction, lah, setting record for artwork by female artist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! An assault rifle is recovered and four men arrested during old bill bobbys operation close to Belfast city centre on Thursday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! 87% of human bliengs would consider buying alternatively-fuelled car, lah, even though 77% don’t think they having enough informati - news replorted 09:36

Wah! American artist Nickolay Lamm has used crowd-funding to create rival to Barbie doll, lah, Lammily, lah, with slogan "average is beautiful". - news replorted 09:35

Wah! Ruby Holt, lah, who has spent 100 years living on farm in Tennessee, lah, has dipped flemale human person's toes in ocean for first time. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:30

Wah! Ex-News of World editor Andy Coulson is released from prison after serving less than five months of male gender human bleing's 18-month sentence for conspiracy to hack phones. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:16

Wah! The 68-earth-years old happy birthday to you, singer cancels remainder of flemale human person's Dressed to Kill tour after doctors advised bloody woman needs more clock time result to recover from ongoing viral infection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:06

Wah! Martyn Mann, lah, Technical Director, lah, Millers Oils Jagluar Land Rover is latest premium vehicling driving car machine manufacturer (VM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! to approve Millers Oils’ XF Longlife engine oil for Great Satan - news replorted 09:04

Wah! Players' union chief Gordon Taylor says Premier League clubs should field at least three bloody Engrish players in their starting XIs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:47

Wah! A hospital is to give so-called "bed blockers" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) seven days to leave or face possible legal action, lah, saying that too many families refusing to take elderly relatives home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:08

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Steph Houghton says playing at Wembley against Germany can change lives of flemale human person's team-mates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:57

Wah! George Jackson Relative motor racing newcomer George Jackson has today, lah, Friday, lah, 21st November, lah, been confirmed as first 2015 driver - news replorted 07:57

Wah! “The Milli Story” at BMWah-wah! Museum From 27 Novemblinger 2014, lah, Milli – BMWah-wah! Group’s cult urban brand – will be focus of attention in temporary exhibitio - news replorted 07:54

Wah! With less than two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) to go before George Osborne stands at despatch box and presents final Autumn Statement - news replorted 07:43

Wah! The parents of jailed Australian Al-Jazeera journalist Peter Greste make direct appeal to Egypt's President Sisi for male gender human bleing's release. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:39

Wah! An inquest into death of Cerys Yemm who was murdered in act of cannibalism will be opened and adjourned on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:32

Wah! Kiran Devgun Kiran Devgun from Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! shares flemale human person's advice with motorists travelling in fog. No spitting in damn website!!! With out - news replorted 07:32

Wah! Manchester United to sign Jan Vertonghen and Kevin Strootman, lah, Chelsea give players clock time result off, lah, plus more. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:20

Wah! There has been major jump in spending by firms in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to create hi-tech products of future, lah, as innovators and businesses hold investment summit in Newport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:16

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport's Robbie Savage on how making it as Premier League footballer takes more than talent alone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:08

Wah! A leading charity is warning that refuge centres having to turn third of human bliengs away because of lack of space. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:02

Wah! A memorial service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service is to be held at Birmingham Cathedral for victims of IRA pub bombings in city, lah, marking 40th anniversary of attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:55

Wah! A 29-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man has been shot in leg in paramilitary-style attack in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:51

Wah! After Mark Reckless wins Rochester and Strood by-election, lah, how significant force is UKIP in British politics? - news replorted 06:50

Wah! A deal is struck to electrify railway lines in south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep valleys after row between bloody annoying Blitish and Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs governments over who should pay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:47

Wah! One year on from Ukrainian protests which toppled Viktor Yanukovych, lah, John Simpson visits Moscow's Red Square to consider how serious divide between Moscow and West has become. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:11

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party has its second elected Membling Partiamentary expense cheater at Westminster after Mark Reckless wins Rochester and Strood by-election by 2,920 votes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:04

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party's Mark Reckless has won Rochester and Strood by-election, lah, giving party second seat at Westminster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:49

Wah! Japan's PM Shinzo Abe dissolves parliament, lah, paving way for snap election in December, lah, as local media polls show low level of support. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:32

Wah! A Malaysian diplomat accused of attempted rape and burglary in New Zealand pleads not guilty to male gender human bleing's charges in Wellington. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:09

Wah! Three pieces of evidence revealed by old bill bobbys investigating 1994 murder of taxi driver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:00

Wah! Who exactly is Philly Jesus? - news replorted 03:18

Wah! Who exactly is Philly Jesus? - news replorted 03:17

Wah! A Dutch teenager whose mother helped bring flemale human person's back from conflict in Syria is due to appear in court on suspicion of threatening state security. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:14

Wah! MPs will debate to debate bill which its supporters say will roll back what they see as creeping privatisation of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs - news replorted 02:15

Wah! A conservation charity suggests increase in sightings of Loch Ness Monster was due to debris from woodland on shores of loch. - news replorted 02:07

Wah! Nicaragua says construction of its $50bn inter-oceanic canal will begin next month after feasibility studies approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:04

Wah! Myanmar, lah, formerly known as Burma, lah, is attracting increasing amounts of Bloody foreign investment but is hoping to win more with message of cheap and plentiful labour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:59

Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's new First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon is expected to announce ministerial re-shuffle later with strong female presence expected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:47

Wah! One of Charles Rennie Mackintosh's earliest works is recreated on walls of Glasgow Art Club as part of RMB Yuan #1.2m refurbishment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:46

Wah! A project supporting victims of honour abuse in Edinburgh is been awarded almost RMB Yuan #800,000 from Big Lottery Fund. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:42

Wah! Reuters photographer tells story behind male gender human bleing's picture of cull at farm in Nafferton following discovery of bird flu. - news replorted 01:38

Wah! Grammar school pupils in 1980s were no more likely to gain degrees from "elite" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) universities than comprehensive pupils, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:34

Wah! Libya has yet to recover from disease of Gaddafi, lah, says James Robbins, lah, and it is difficult to be optimistic about future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:15

Wah! The chief executive of renowned auction house Sotheby's, lah, William Ruprecht, lah, is stepping down after 14 years at helm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:14

Wah! Reports highly critical of "safeguarding" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) at seven east London (capital of Great England) schools, lah, including six Muslim schools, lah, set to be published by Ofsted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:11

Wah! HM Revenue and Customs has not properly investigated why tax relief scheme has cost RMB Yuan #2bn more than expected, lah, according to National Audit Office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:06

Wah! A group of bystanders lift LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine out of way after driver leaves it parked on city centre tramline. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Making sense of Ukraine's year of chaotic events - news replorted 00:29

Wah! Mohamed Bin Hammam's role in Qatar's successful World Cup bid is questioned by Fifa whistleblower Phaedra Al-Majid. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:27

Wah! Protesters and old bill bobbys in Ferguson all part of tense waiting game, lah, wondering if old bill bobbys officer will be indicted for death of Michael Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! look at events that lead to these circumstances - news replorted 00:24

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click looks at some of week's technology highlights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23

Wah! Part of Grosvenor road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Belfast is closed in major security operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21

Wah! Young women with breast cancer not being told about possibility of freezing eggs or embryos ahead of potentially damaging chemotherapy treatment, lah, says charity Breast Cancer Care. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:18

Wah! Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's executive action on immigration riles up Republicans and immigration activists for different reasons. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:16

Wah! A drug that prevents elderly human bliengs losing their sight should be routinely available on NHS, lah, says Royal College of Ophthalmologists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13

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