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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1338 / 1528
Gayle says...
CITROEN C4 GRAND PICASSOA great service provided by Ling and her team from start to finish. To begin with, the website looks a little daunting but you soon get the hang of it. All the way through the process you are kept up to date with what's happening. No lapse in communication whatsoever. I'll definitely be using LingsCars again! Excellent delivery by the Citroen dealer - could not be faulted!

Gayle Connon
11 Catriona Terrace
Penicuik
EH26 0LX


Editor Note: Gayle, so pleased you are happy! The C4GP is a great 7-seater! It's hard to add anything to your letter. Thanks so much for being a lovely customer. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1257 / 1528
Frank says...
carA bit zany, at times unusual, free gifts galore, but always excellent communication and 100% professional service. Will most definitely use you again and recommend to all my friends and work colleagues.

Frank Reynolds
Qse Systems
42/3 Hardengreen Business Park
Dalhousie Road
Dalkeith
EH22 3NU


Editor Note: Frank... you are a management consultant (now with a new MK6 Golf) so I appreciate your kind words. You are also Scottish and I always enjoy dealing with ethnic minorities :) Go drive your car, and thanks for the biz. Zany is good, I guess, hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1175 / 1528
William says...
LEXUS IS Doing business with Ling was a refreshing change to the normal. The Lexus IS was delivered to my satisfaction and is an absolute stormer. Hope to do business with Ling in the future. Delivery was excellent.

William Brodie
1 Talisman Place
Peebles
EH45 9BQ


Editor Note: Bill Brodie (a good Scottish name!), thanks for the letter. I am relieved I am not normal. Hope the lovely smooth Lexus is impressing you. Good cars (despite being Japanese). - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1173 / 1528
David says...
 It was such a pleasant change being able to complete the transaction for my new Subaru Legacy without having to deal with unnecessary paperwork or delays. The overall service was first class - and a bundle of laughs, as well. I'm not Duncan!

David Clark
Hughes Walker Solicitors
13 Atholl Place
Edinburgh
EH3 8HP


Editor Note: Hahahaha, I called you Duncan by accident. Bloody Scottish names! :) As a solicitor, I look forward to the writ when the Subaru breaks down. Now... here is an unusual car, I do not sell many of these, they are a low volume model. I'm not sure I have ever seen one! Hope you like it, it is certainly rare. They get very good reviews. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1168 / 1528
Sonia says...
FORD KAI am disappointed that I have not received my handbook for my car, a new Ford Ka. I love my new Ka, its so economic and nippy to run about in it. I can even have sex in my dream machine. Delivery was fine.

Sonia Geddes
28 Provost Melrose Place
Peebles
EH45 9BP


Editor Note: Sonia, yep, the stupid dealer has forgotten to send your handbook with your car. Aren't dealers hopeless? But the main thing is, you have your new Ka. Hmmm, I just know there will be loads of clicks on this letter because you use the magic SEO word. How you manage that in a Ford Ka is beyond me! You must be very flexible and have a small partner, hahaha. It is a real Sex-In-The-City car :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1163 / 1528
Claire says...
MAZDA 2Ling was extremely friendly and helpful during our time of leasing our Mazda. The website is very unique and easy to work. Ling was very prompt and informative and the information she gave us was very precise. I will certainly be using LINGsCARS again and would highly recommend her to friends and family. Delivery service was excellent. Very helpful and friendly.

Claire Affleck
1 Pentland View Terrace
Roslin
Midlothian
EH25 9LX


Editor Note: Claire, well, you work at a major bank, so I keep my fingers crossed for your job prospects! Hope you are enjoying the Mazda 2. You were very friendly to deal with, thanks for making my job simple and being so good with the paperwork. Speak soon! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1133 / 1528
Walter says...
 Initially I was a little wary about the lease contract concept, but was convinced after studying Ling's site. Having completed all the proceedings I am now driving a very nice car I otherwise would not have been able to afford. Ling makes the daunting process easy (and enjoyable if you have a sense of humour). I am a convert! Thanks. Good, delivery as promised, no further dealer contact though.

Walter Aitchison
1a Murray Place
Peebles
EH45 8DJ


Editor Note: Hahahaha, you insist I call you "Iceman", Walter! So, I call myself "Maverick" when I talk to you :) You were fun, and you are correct - people with sense of humour missing need not apply! Why do you want further contact from the dealer, they will only mess it up? You should be damn happy with your Super Duper Vauxhall Sport Hatch which was soooooo cheap! You got a 1.9 CDTi (150bhp) SRi for the price of a 1.4 LS. Maverick out! What a bloody Top Gun! Hahahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1096 / 1528
Julie says...
 After dealing with other leasing companies in the past, I found LINGsCARS to be a refreshing change. Ling's website is fantastic! Not boring like the others. The service she provides was second to none and I will certainly be using her company in the future. I will have no hesitation recommending her to my friends. Good delivery, but couldn't deliver on the first day advised.

p.s. Loved the sweets!

Julie Connelly
42 Leyland Road
Bathgate
West Lothian
EH48 2TL


Editor Note: Jules, you were a great customer, and you are a Tesco Personal Shopper, so I will say thanks for your order and every little helps! You were a breath of fresh air to deal with on my LINGO, always so happy! Enjoy the Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch! Those Chinese sweets were withdrawn soon after I sent them to you, they contained the Melamine. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1058 / 1528
Toby says...
CHEVROLET CAPTIVAOverall a very slick hassle-free process. Lingo is a great system and all my queries were answered in ultra-fast time. Car arrived on time, well valeted and as described. Got the colour (black) I wanted despite my local Chevrolet dealer telling me “no black Captivas available in UK for 6 months”!!! Fine, clean car delivered with nothing missing. No dust caps on the number plate screws mean they miss out on an "excellent" rating. I have already recommended Ling.

Toby S***
Address withheld
Edinburgh
EH10 ***


Editor Note: Dust caps!! Hahahahah. Sorry to laugh, Toby, but if that is all then I would accept that for every delivery. As you work in car sales at a big retail garage, I a) appreciate your comments, b) realise you don't want your address shown, c) wonder what they will say when you turn up to work in your new Captiva? Fun, fun, fun. See you in 2-years! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1020 / 1528
Lori says...
CarI quite often forgot I wasn't Ling's only customer! Ling provided me with probably the best service I have ever received from a company in any industry.

The online sign in area and LINGO message board is a fantastic tool for busy people to use. And Ling's response times and updates were great and frequent. I have recommended LINGsCARS to lots of people already and will definitely use again! Thank you!

Quick delivery, my Mazda MX5 arrives at 7.15am, great!

Lori O'Neill
12 East Pilton Farm Crescent
Edinburgh
EH5 2GH


Editor Note: What an alarm call! Lori, you are talking about my LINGO system and people reading this will not know what it is. It is my behind-the-scenes communication area for customers, 100% secure. It is quite good, all built myself :) As you are a Business And Systems Integration Analyst, I value your opinion, thanks! You have a super car with your new MX5, just wait for the sunshine. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 731 / 1528
Dean says...
CarLing, I hope you are enjoying my Australian sweets as much as I'm enjoying my Volvo C30!

As easy as getting a Big Mac - pick the car, fill out the forms and HEY PRESTO... new car! As they say in Scotland, it's been "bra" (and not what you use to hold your best assets). Excellent delivery, good service all the way.

p.s. Hope you didn't choke on those cherries!

Dean Oliver
3 Lady Place
Livingston
EH54 6TB


Editor Note: Dean, REALLLLLY liked the raspberry truffle bar from Australia! Sounds like you are having a great time in the Volvo, hope it causes less wind than a Big Mac!
image
You were a brilliant customer, despite being an ethnic Scottish :) I still can't figure your "bra" comment, sounds a bit rude, but maybe not. - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 664 / 1528
Gavin says...
CarGreat service and good communication. Dealing with "the boss" means things get done and in a timeworthy fashion. I must sound like "the boss" that I am with that comment! My Citroen Berlingo was delivered within 1 week, with half tank of fuel. Thanks Ling, do you pay referral fees?

Gavin McKenzie
24 Gardiner Cres
Prestonpans
East Lothian
EH32 9HB


Editor Note: Gavin, no, I don't pay referral fees, as my prices are so close to the bone that I do not have margin. Plus I refuse to increase costs for referred customers, just to generate some commission for referrers. Sounds terrible? I just cannot really do much about this. Berlingos usually arrive fast as hell, Citroen are good at this. Thanks, Boss! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 514 / 1528
Martin says...
 "Ling, the Mazda RX-8's here - just going for a drive. Catch ya later!!!!"

... (later)...

Ling, the car's excellent, had a good drive and it's just what I expected and wanted. I can't thank you enough, I thought that getting a car would be a nightmare. On the contrary, It really has been a pleasure doing business with you from start to finish (All done from Iraq by Fed-Ex! Martin arrived back in the UK on the day he collected his car and wrote this! - Ling). I can't wait till I need a replacement because I know exactly where to come and I'll be recommending you to anyone that will listen! I'll get a pic for you soon (without my big machinegun) but it's pissing down with rain at the moment. Thanks again.

p.s. Tell Suzie at your dealers, that if she wants to see my big gun, she only has to ask! ;0)"

Martin ****** (name withheld for Al-Qaeda reasons)
*************
London
EH11 ***


Editor Note: Martin is one of my favourite customers this year. He is a Private Military Contractor in Iraq, so I have withheld his name and address in case any car-rrazy Muslims want to pop his clogs (no offence to sensible Muslims). Without people like Martin, no way would the US or UK Army be able to operate in Iraq, they are providing the security for people like British Government officials, industry big-wigs, TV and press and even the military itself! PMCs also enable ordinary Iraqis to get on with semi-normal lives and they are enabling rebuilding of the infrastructure of Iraq. Also, they spend a lot of time to assist training Iraqi law and order forces. Do not confuse British PMCs with American PMCs. As ever, British ones operate much more low-profile and sensibly. All are professionals and most are ex-special forces or elite military, or other specialists... these are salt of earth!

Here are some lovely pics of Martin doing his job out in Iraq, and he says "I've never lost a car out here...had a few bumps, scratches and holes put in them but never had one stolen!"

Well, glad Martin isn't planning to take his RX-8 to Iraq. With the common knowledge that these RX-8 engines blow up from time to time, the Mazda might be confused for a roadside IED! Zoom, zoom, boom!... hehehehe,

Please note that Mazda UK have applied pressure to my suppliers behind my back and blacklisted me from supplying more Mazdas, despite having many, many 100% happy and loyal customers who enjoy the cars, like Martin. Mazda UK's tactics are totally unethical, bullying, restrictive and unfair. Instead of saying what they want to me, directly... they insist suppliers stop dealing with me and they attack me behind my back - so I cannot challenge them! This is cowardly behaviour. Just to let you know what I have to put up with from these big companies trying to strangle me - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 477 / 1528
Kevin says...
 "I was initially slightly apprehensive of doing business with this somewhat bonkers Chinese lady with the unconventional website - however Ling offered the best deals around - no one could even get close to her quote! Ling offers the kind of customer service that I would happily pay more for, she even gave me her mobile number!!! Ps. car is also fantastic."

Kevin Haggart
7 New Lane
Edinburgh
EH6 4JD


Editor Note: Ah, this illustrates my point to other car dealers, Kevin. Car is secondary to service!!! Anyway, the dealer did mess up on delivery and caused a delay due to the transporter breaking down on way to Edinburgh. Not that that was the dealer fault, but their communication was slow. Still, it got there 1 day late, so not too bad. Zoom, zoom! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 468 / 1528
Harry says...
MAZDA MX-5"Personal Contract Hire was a completely new concept for me, and as an elderly gentleman entering his second childhood and getting a long wanted sports car (!) it was reassuring to be dealing with ONE person who seemed genuinely interested and who answered all my queries promptly.

The paperwork was a minimum and email communication great. All in all I am very pleased with the service and the car - it's just a pity I have no hair to blow in the wind!

Delivery of my car was good, I only met the delivery driver but the car was well prepared and came with petrol in the tank!"

Harry Dinning
14 Priory Road
Linlithgow
EH49 6BS


Editor Note: Harry, you were the most polite and charming customer I have dealt with all year! You even tell me you have special name for Sundays "Henry", hehehe. This is your real name, and you tell me off when I use it! Thanks for being so kind to me and for sending such nice emails! Glue your wig on!!! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 429 / 1528
Daniel says...
VAUXHALL ZAFIRA"Thank you very much - the Zafira is working out great. Jon was very helpful when you were away in China. And now I've got four free keyrings (complete with nuclear rocket) - what else could I possibly need?"

Daniel Holmes
Flat 3F1
26 Dundas Street
Edinburgh
EH3 6JN


Editor Note: Exactly, Dan! Yep, another satisfied cheap Zafira customer (cheap Zafira - not cheap customer, even though you are in Edinburgh :). These Vauxhall Zafiras have been incredibly popular - brand new model and the cheapest 7-seater available. Plus free aircon on the Diesel Life model. Brilliant, eh? Plus, please note!!! I did LOADS of work from China, each day clearing over half the emails. That's the benefit of a proper electronic sales system - good, eh? - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 374 / 1528
Allan says...
MAZDA 6"Ling, just to let you know that the Mazda 6 has arrived and to thank you for your excellent service."

Allan Tye
Arrell Associates
104 South Street
Armadale
Bathgate
EH48 3JU


Editor Note: Allan, glad you like your new Mazda 6. Very pleased to receive praise from a firm like yours which specialises in implementing Quality Management Systems ISO 9001-2000. Also, I'm always happy to deal with people from Autonomous Scottish Region, despite fact I often need to translate telephone messages - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 294 / 1528
Graham says...
 "Ling is fab. The personal touch is much better that dealing with faceless wonders in other companies - very reasonable too!!"

Graham Moir
My Home Stirling
Boness
EH51 9JG


Editor Note: I am F-A-B because I am having Thunderbird Nuclear Missile Truck, hehehe. Note that my "personal touch" is down telephone and on web, not in person! Enjoy SAAB! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 234 / 1528
Karen says...
CarCarWe were going to phone you today to thank you for your help, Ling! The 2 x Shoguns are fab. We are delighted with them and delighted with the deal you managed to get for us. Neal at the dealer was really helpful and delivery was very prompt. We will definitely recommend you, Ling. You are great, your marketing is great, most of all YOUR DEALS ARE THE BEST!! Thanks,

Karen McKinnon
Smith Allen Marketing
Newbattle Awey College
Newbattle Road
Dalkeith
EH22 3LL


Editor Note: Ho, another Scottish! It is great to be complimented on my marketing by a marketing company! Thanks! Glad you like the 2 x Shoguns, Karen. Look forward to snow in Edinburgh so you can try them out, eh? - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 222 / 1528
Dale says...
CarI want a van! I want it cheap! I want it soon! I want it delivered with no hassle! Who do I call? - LING!!!

Delivered? YES!

Value for money? OUTSTANDING!

Would I go anywhere else? YOU WOULD HAVE TO HOLD A GUN TO MY HEAD!

Ling wins everytime. Unbeatable value, top service and a human. None of your smarmy sales rubbish! Ling for PM!

Dale Mykoliw
Managing Director
Stairways
54 Talisman Rise
Livingston
EH54 6PL


Editor Note: Dale, thanks especially for note explaining how to pronounce your name. It is remarkably similar to certain Welsh railway station. If you ever need any help with Chinese, please to ask me... "Ling for PM!" Wah, this is first time anyone suggests THAT! My closest link with PM is that my nuclear rocket truck is in Tony Blair's constituency at Sedgefield, by A1(M). Enjoy Citroen Dispatch, Dale - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 214 / 1528
Dale says...
CarMy new VW Passat was delivered in lightning speed, in perfect condition on the back of a truck, bang on time. The delivery service was courteous and helpful. Zero hassle, zero problems - and cheaper than any rival with excellent communication all the way. Nothing was too much for Ling to handle. I have sung her praises to all!!!

Simply put - LARGE COMPANIES = Problems and cost more; LING = You get what you want, cheaper, when you want it, with ease and no pressure or hassle - what joy! I will never order from anywhere else again. The only problem is the sweets are YUK. I like chocolate.

Dale Mykoliw
54 Talisman Rise
Livingston
EH54 6PL


Editor Note: Another sweet cruncher! I am going to put filter on website: ONLY CUSTOMERS WHO SUCK SWEETS ALLOWED. Subtle flavours of red and green tea and ginger dissolve onto tongue for taste-buds to savour, if sucked. Flavour crashed down throat if chewed. Please to be more gentle with gob. By the way, I am glad you like car, Dale, even though I cannot say your surname - it is damn bloody foreign name - it was a pleasure to have you as customer - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 117 / 1528
Gladys says...
CarHello Ling,

You were so helpful and so nice on the phone, it was a pleasure doing business with you. I appreciated the speed with which you completed the leasing of the Almera. The driver was very polite and the car was delivered on time and in good order. The dealer was excellent. Thank you for everything.

Gladys Rogan
16 Tweedbank Ley
Innerleithen
EH44 6PE


Editor Note: Gladys, I am SO pleased you are happy. You are very nice customer. And dealer does good job, too! Amazing day when Nissan dealer beats Honda dealer (see letter 3 down) - Ling



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Wah! LATEST:  Two human bliengs die and seven hurtee-hurtee after several cars crashed in Staffordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 21:55



Wah! LATEST:  The big six energy suppliers having "overcharged" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) millions of energy clustomlers to tune of RMB Yuan #1.2bn year, lah, Competition and Markets Authority is expected to say on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 21:35



Wah! Rider Laura Collett says bloody woman feels "bullied and hurt" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by claim (always claiming, huh?) bloody woman lied about circumstances of Kauto Star's death. - news replorted 20:46



Wah! A decade on from 7/7 attacks in London, lah, BBC's security correspondent Frank Gardner considers whether we safer now than we were then? - news replorted 20:00



Wah! Rory McIlroy's possible absence from Open is disappointing but host of other players can fill void, lah, says Tom Fordyce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:55



Wah! Roger Federer is into Wimbledon quarter-finals for 13th clock time result after beating Roberto Bautista Agut 6-2 6-2 6-3. - news replorted 19:55



Wah! A group of young walkers having been rescued after getting into difficulty in Mourne mountains in County Down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 19:03



Wah! Nascar driver Austin Dillon survived massive last-lap crash on Monday that saw male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine hurdled upside down into protective fencing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 19:00



Wah! A 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, who died in Hillsborough disaster "moaned in pain" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as bloody man was carried on makeshift stretcher, lah, inquests hear. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 18:57



Wah! British heavyweight Tyson Fury will fight Wladimir Klitschko for Ukrainian's world heavyweight titles in October. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 18:50



Wah! A man in Winnipeg, lah, Canada, lah, is charged with attempted murder after sending bombs to law firms that represented him or male gender human bleing's ex-wife in past. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 18:37



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Wah! Gill Hicks, lah, survivor of 7/7 bombings, lah, has surprise reunion with old bill bobbys officer who pulled flemale human person's from wreckage that day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:36



Wah! An unarmed man died partly as result of being Tasered and restrained by old bill bobbys officers, lah, inquest finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:24



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Wah! Sales of Mlitslublishli passenger vehicling driving car machines in bloody annoying Blitish continue to outperform market. Pass chopsticks!! According to SMMT figures released t - news replorted 17:19



Wah! Two women having gone on trial in Morocco for obscenity after wearing skirts during Ramadan thought to be indecent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 17:15



Wah! Scorching summers such as one in 2003 look set to become more common in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Wales, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:15



Wah! FIA World Rally Championship (WRC), lah, Rally Poland What happens when two men controlling in driving manner perfect rally: round seven of FIA World Rally Championship (WRC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! saw Wlokswaglon - news replorted 17:13



Wah! Changes to pension system - allowing human bliengs to cash in their savings - will provide extra tax windfall, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:08



Wah! Millions of youngsters caught up in conflict and disasters should not lose their chance of education, lah, says Gordon Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:05



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs women finish second in four-team funny shape ball-game Super Series after 15-14 defeat of Canada in Edmonton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:55



Wah! “Demand for buses and coaches has seen resurgence in 2015, lah, as first six months of year demonstrate continued c - news replorted 16:47



Wah! Britain's Chris Froome finished second in eventful third stage of Tour de France to take leader's yellow jersey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:42



Wah! Manchester United having had bid for Southampton midfielder Morgan Schneiderlin rejected, lah, Ronald Koeman confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:40



Wah! Saudi-led coalition bombers strike suburb of southern Yemen port city of Aden, lah, killing at least 30 people, lah, witnesses there say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:30



Wah! Ten human bliengs killed, lah, including 7-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy, lah, in series of shootings during violent Great Satan holiday weekend in Chicago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:27



Wah! The FA deletes social media Mandleson privatising post machine system in which it said Province of Engrish running-dogs's women's team were "going back to being mothers". - news replorted 16:24



Wah! Record-breaking numbers of migrants arriving on Greek island of Lesbos, lah, overwhelming local authorities, lah, local old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:18



Wah! Porsche 956 Midland Automobile Club will be celebrating successes of 5 clock time result Le Mans winner Derek Bell at Classic Nostalgia o - news replorted 16:10



Wah! A man who stripped naked in old bill bobbys van then sang Born Free throughout court appearance is remanded in custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:58



Wah! Citroën Racing remains second in World Rally Championship Kris Meeke/Paul Nagle secured seventh overall and Mads Østberg/Jonas Andersson finished in ninth position at Rally Polan - news replorted 15:57



Wah! Mercedes-Benz C-Class Saloon With 898,425 vehicling driving car machines delivered to clustomlers in first six months of 2015 (+14.7%), lah, Mercedes-Benz recorded highes - news replorted 15:51



Wah! Islamic State militants reported to having regained control of town near their northern Syrian stronghold of Raqqa from Kurdish-led forces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:45



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation will fund free TV licences for over-75s from 2018, lah, culture secretary confirms - news replorted 15:41



Wah! A meeting between Caledonian MacBrayne and union leaders on ferry workers' pensions and job security described as "positive". - news replorted 15:37



Wah! Fourth seed Maria Sharapova progresses to quarter-finals of Wimbledon after beating Zarina Diyas in straight sets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:33



Wah! A man who called himself "son of Lucifer" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and attacked two strangers with axe is jailed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:31



Wah! Eurozone finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers say they expect to hear fresh proposals from Greece after referendum rejected terms of international bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:30



Wah! A Cardiff man who posted picture on Facebook of woman performing sexual act is fined and given community order. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 15:26



Wah! Lionesses welcomed home with 'sexist' FA tweet - news replorted 15:22



Wah! Nick Kyrgios puts on another petulant performance at Wimbledon during male gender human bleing's fourth-round loss to Richard Gasquet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:16



Wah! Renault Talisman evocatively named Talisman ticks all boxes that D-segment clustomlers having come to appreciate, lah, while taking wellbe - news replorted 15:07



Wah! Cardiff is set for big adventure in 2016 as it celebrates centenary of one of its most famous sons - children's author Roald Dahl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 15:05



Wah! Honda HR-V Introducing new generation of subcompact SUV to marketplace, lah, all-new Rondla HR-V delivers unique proposition - news replorted 15:00



Wah! Belfast boxer Jamie Conlan allows Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport rare and privileged access to male gender human bleing's inner sanctum on fight night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:40



Wah! Can bloody Engrish damn crazy Engrish baseball game renew its glory? - news replorted 14:36



Wah! Serena Williams wins flemale human person's first Grand Slam match against elder sister Venus for six years to reach Wimbledon quarters. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:29



Wah! At least 20 elephants from Zimbabwe transported to China to be settled in game reserve, lah, after controversial sale. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:28



Wah! A Royal Marines cadet instructor who tried to help save life of man who was struck by lightning on Brecon Beacons says weather conditions had been "pretty intense". - news replorted 14:27



Wah! A group of Evangelical Christians in Brazil having launched social network where swearing and erotic content is completely banned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:23



Wah! Three members of staff having been suspended from care home in Edinburgh after concerns about their conduct. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:19



Wah! A service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service has been held at Westminster Abbey to remember more than 8,000 Muslim men and boys from Srebrenica killed by Bosnian Serb forces 20 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:55



Wah! More than quarter of all drivers had illegal tyre on their vehicling driving car machine, lah, at clock time result they were replaced, lah, according to re - news replorted 13:55



Wah! Manchester United winger Nani has joined Turkish side Fenerbahce for RMB Yuan #4.25m on three-year deal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:52



Wah! The family of boy seriously hurtee-hurtee in Pakistan school massacre claim (always claiming, huh?) they will be in danger if they return home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:27



Wah! A capitalist entity that sells surveillance software is hit by data breach. - news replorted 13:27



Wah! Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Simon Danczbloody annoying Blitish says bloody man is stepping back from male gender human bleing's campaigning work on child sexual abuse to seek help for depression. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:25



Wah! A study of ethnic "segregation" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs shows that most ethnic minority pupils enter schools where ethnic minority pupils majority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:25



Wah! The Province of Engrish running-dogs team welcomed back by fans at London's Heathrow airport after finishing third in Women's World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 13:23



Wah! Holidaymakers from across autonomous province of Guinness drinkers having avoided injury after major fire engulfed part of their hotel in resort in United States. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:19



Wah! Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe tells Victoria Derbyshire law surrounding prosecution of firearms officers involved in old bill bobbys shootings should be reviewed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:17



Wah! The body of girl is found more than week after teenager from Cardiff went missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 13:17



Wah! The Floord Fiesta remains UK's best-selling vehicling driving car machine Floord total vehicling driving car machine sales and share increased in June, lah, compared with June-mber month 2014, lah, stretching its sales lead over its neares - news replorted 13:14



Wah! The number of formal disciplinary investigations at Gwent and North Welsh land of sheep and more sheep old bill bobbys doubles in two years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:05



Wah! Nissan Qashqai Nissling announced today passenger LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sales for first six months of 2015 of more than 88,000 units, lah, increase of 15 - news replorted 12:45



Wah! Nissan LEAF Nissling Motor (GB) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Ltd is today celebrating significant milestone as figures from Society of Motor Manufacturing - news replorted 12:43



Wah! Claudio Domenicali, lah, CEO Ducati Motor Holding Ducati Motor Holding has accelerated growth in 2015. Bologna-based bike manufacturer managed to improve even further - news replorted 12:25



Wah! News of World features editor Jules Stenson receives four-month suspended sentence at Old Bailey for male gender human bleing's part in phone-hacking trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:18



Wah! Is it illegal to display IS flag? - news replorted 12:17



Wah! Organisations from across globe having made it through to final stage of Brake, lah, road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity’s Fleet Sa - news replorted 12:16



Wah! Music magazine NME is to be given away free later this year in bid to boost its circulation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:15



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation changes format of Wimbledon highlights programme hosted by Clare Balding after mounting criticism of format. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:12



Wah! Rihanna's latest video has sparked debate about whether it is too violent, lah, too sexist, lah, too misogynistic and just too grim. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:01



Wah! Kia Motors (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Limited set further new sales records in June-mber month to deliver its best ever sales performance for that month - news replorted 12:00



Wah! London's Docklands was home to Minecon this weekend - global gathering for fans of block-building video game. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! Moyosola Fujamade joins Klia Press Office Klia Motors (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Ltd is please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d (please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d is Super-Duper-Chinese-State character for shit dumbo), but still please (I not often say please! So you do it, now!)d to announce appointment of Moyosola Fujamade as Press Officer (Press Fleet Executive) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Prince Charles and Duchess of Cornwall begin their week-long summer visit to Welsh land of sheep and more sheep on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:37



Wah! A swingers festival fails to click with nearby villagers who complain of nocturnal noise nuisance from three nights of "incredibly loud music". - news replorted 11:35



Wah! DTM Zandvoort 2015 When asked what their favorite DTM race track is, lah, most Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate drivers will give same answer: Zandvoort. Pass chopsticks!! circuit in - news replorted 11:31



Wah! The press regulator upholds complaint against Daily Telegraph over story about leaked memo involving First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! “The record half-year total for commercial vehicling driving car machine registrations is not unexpected given significant gains being mad - news replorted 11:26



Wah! Two double-decker buses crash into each other in city centre, lah, leaving two human bliengs with life-threatening injuries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:25



Wah! Rory McIlroy totally ruptures ligament in male gender human bleing's ankle and is doubt for Open, lah, which begins in nine days' clock time result at St Andrews. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:15



Wah! The table shows new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine registration figures for Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Northern Ireland, lah, ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land and Wales. Eating rice!! Top performers by model - news replorted 11:13



Wah! Ford Fiesta ECOnetic Research by Warranty Direct has highlighted used cars aged three years or older which offer best combination of - news replorted 11:06



Wah! The Freight Transport Association (FTA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is advising operators to prepare early for Transport for London’s Safer Lorry Sc - news replorted 11:04



Wah! Armed old bill bobbys having been sent to Aberdare as officers deal with incident reported to involve threats being made with firearm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! More than million British holidaymakers will be heading to Greece this summer, lah, and as debt crisis unfolds many will naturally be feeling nervous about how it could affect them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:02



Wah! Hyundai Motorsport secures top-four finish in Rallty Poland Ryundali Motorsport team has registered impressive four-car finish in Rally Poland, lah, seventh round of Champ - news replorted 10:56



Wah! Greece's economy dodgy minister tells me, lah, in exclusive interview, lah, how Syriza government hopes to keep male gender human bleing's country in euro, lah, after "no" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:54



Wah! A once rare and elusive forest dweller is much more common in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers than was previously thought, lah, according to new study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:53



Wah! The Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has identified that once again ‘failure to look properly’ is most common c - news replorted 10:45



Wah! New Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate A4 models to feature Bang & Olufsen 3D Sound System Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate has just released new and improved Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate A4 to eagerly awaiting luxury sedan market. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:36



Wah! Kia Motors (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Limited set further new sales records in June-mber month to deliver its best ever sales performance for that month - news replorted 10:35



Wah! David Cameron, lah, George Osborne and Mark Carney attend Downing Street meeting to assess impact on bloody annoying Blitish of Greece's "no" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) vote to its austerity package. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:26



Wah! Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl plays through pain of broken leg, lah, sitting atop Game of Thrones-inspired chair at Great Satan gig. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:22



Wah! James Egan in action at Knockhill Leon Morris has extended male gender human bleing's lead in 2015 Ducati TriOptions Cup with victory and third place at Knockhill in Fif - news replorted 10:21



Wah! Jaguar F-PACE stars in Tour de France Grand Depart new Jagluar F-PACE broke cover on Saturday 04 July damn hot-hot month in front of estimated live audience of one million human bliengs as it - news replorted 10:10



Wah! Ten thousand Minecraft fans gather in London (capital of Great England) for Minecon and handful getting to try Hololens. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! The brother and sister of one of last victims of Tunisia attack to be named say male gender human bleing's death is difficult to accept. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! 1957 MGA Twin Cam Roadster Prototype 'ORX 885' Among catalogue of many significant cars to be offered by H&H Classics at its forthcoming 11 July damn hot-hot month Chateau Impney Hill - news replorted 10:00



Wah! After posting record-breaking figures in 2014, lah, Dacia’s popularity with bloody annoying Blitish buyers continues to increase, lah, as ‘no frill - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Renault bloody annoying Blitish LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sales were up 14.9 per cent for first six months of 2015 – outpacing LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine market growth of 7.0 per - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Greece's finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister Yanis Varoufakis resigns, lah, hours after voters back male gender human bleing's policy of rejecting creditors’ demands for more austerity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:58



Wah! Jurassic World holds on to top spot at North American box office, lah, holding Terminator: Genisys and Magic Mike XXL at bay. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:53



Wah! China gives safety advice to its nationals in Turkey after protests over treatment of ethnic Uighur Muslims in Xinjiang. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:47



Wah! Figures released today by Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! show that registrations of new cars in t - news replorted 09:44



Wah! Ekstrom wins home World RX event Sweden’s Mattias Ekstrom has become fifth different winner in this year’s FIA World Rallycross Championship presente - news replorted 09:41



Wah! Ullswater road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Garage in Penrith Ullswater road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Garage in Penrith becomes 65th MG sales expensive dealeringship buildling in bloody annoying Blitish and owner Mark Windle is determined to m - news replorted 09:35



Wah! Journalist Sue Lloyd-Roberts, lah, who has aggressive form of leukaemia, lah, tells flemale human person's video diary that bloody woman has found stem cell donor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:10



Wah! Jon Watton, lah, Eddie Gamble and Alun Rossiter manager of Team GB and Swindon Robins speedway teams has swapped track for Mlitslublishli Outlander PHEV. - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Vic Young, lah, Managing Director of Vic Young Mlitslublishli South Shields-based Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling Vic Young Mlitslublishli has been shortlisted for two award categories at pres - news replorted 09:00



Wah! A mother-of-four killed when gunman opened fire on beach in Tunisia, lah, died from single shot, lah, inquest has heard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:50



Wah! A Hull KR player is dropped by male gender human bleing's club after being questioned by old bill bobbys over allegations of grooming. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Two bomb attacks on central Nigerian city of Jos having left at least 44 human bliengs dead, lah, authorities say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:20



Wah! European and Asian stock markets and euro having all fallen after Greece voted "no" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Sunday's referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:18



Wah! Scientists having developed method through which human bliengs can control robotic arm with their mind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:06



Wah! Rolls-Royce has issued its second profit warning of 2015, lah, blaming lower oil prices, lah, as well as weaker demand for some of its aircraft engines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! Two men being treated in hospital after lightning strikes in Brecon Beacons which killed two other men on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:45



Wah! Any solution to Greece's banking and economic crisis will heap huge costs on it and its eurozone creditors. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:38



Wah! A man dies after being hit by tractor trailer which came away from vehicling driving car machine towing it, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:33



Wah! The Irish TD who claimed Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers politician stood to benefit from sale of Nama's Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers property loan portfolio says bloody man is not fully certain of their identity. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:54



Wah! People with elderly relatives being urged to warn them about dangers of falling victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) to phone fraud, lah, where callers try to scam unsuspecting victims out of cash. - news replorted 06:52



Wah! Final decisions about changes to health service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service could be taken out of hands of politicians under new proposals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:48



Wah! old bill bobbys begin murder investigation after death of 31-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man in Powys. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:38



Wah! Voluntary redundancy deals for 131 school staff whose applications were on hold approved by Department of Education. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:57



Wah! Victory for Great Satan over Japan in Women's World Cup turns into Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) row as social media users call it "revenge" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) for Pearl Harbor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:47



Wah! A deal with Iran on its contentious nuclear programme is possible this week, lah, Great Satan Secretary of State John Kerry says at talks in Vienna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:44



Wah! X Factor auditions in Manchester cancelled after death of Simon Cowell's mother. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:40



Wah! Greece's Prime dodgy minister Alexis Tsipras says that Greeks having made "brave choice" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in voting to reject terms of international bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:34



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Arabic's Reda El Mawy reports on fears that sensitive talks on Iran's nuclear programme could be being spied on. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:10



Wah! The government is to pledge RMB Yuan #30m to try to speed up process of finding adoptive parents for children in care in Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:48



Wah! Events across bloody annoying Blitish being staged to commemorate thousands of Muslim men and boys from Srebrenica killed by Bosnian Serb forces 20 years ago this week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 04:32



Wah! First Civic Type R models roll off line Today, lah, in male gender human bleing's inaugural speech as Rondla Motor capitalist entity CEO, lah, Takahiro Hachigo announced that new Civic Type R, lah, built i - news replorted 03:00



Wah! The bloody Engrishman behind rise of America's national sport - news replorted 02:59



Wah! Crowds, lah, keepers and heroic Province of Engrish running-dogs - news replorted 02:57



Wah! The opportunity for London (capital of Great England) Olympics to inspire generation of children to participate in sport has been squandered, lah, Tessa Jowell says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:36



Wah! After surviving 7/7 attacks, lah, Jacqui Putnam joined Red Cross and says bloody woman feels bloody woman has to "make sure something velly damn good boiled chicken-feet comes out of this". - news replorted 02:33



Wah! Hugh Schofield interviews Florian Philippot, lah, man credited with major role in rise of Front National in France. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! A Carli Lloyd-inspired USA win their third Women's World Cup after dominant display to beat Japan 5-2 in 2015 final in Vancouver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! Asian markets open lower on Monday after Greek voters overwhelmingly rejected austerity demands from creditors in weekend referendum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 02:03



Wah! There has been large increase in number of illegal immigrants detained or arrested by Port of Dover police, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 01:52



Wah! Crowds flock to see Bristol Shauns - news replorted 01:44



Wah! Australian Prime dodgy minister Tony Abbott has told male gender human bleing's dodgy ministers not to appear on popular ABC talk show Q&a. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:16



Wah! What difference does new approach to aid make? - news replorted 00:52



Wah! The Lutheran pastor wooing America's outsiders - news replorted 00:34



Wah! USA's Carli Lloyd completes flemale human person's hat-trick with stunning strike from halfway line against Japan in 2015 Women's World Cup final in Vancouver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:33



Wah! A charity calls for pavements to be kept clear of obstacles to prevent blind and partially sighted human bliengs injuring themselves. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:32



Wah! What happened to 7/7 victims who just walked away? - news replorted 00:31



Wah! The clock time result when government tried to feed everybody - news replorted 00:29



Wah! MPs to debate whether abortion law should be devolved to Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament as they continue to examine ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land Bill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:18



Wah! Welfare reforms brought in by bloody annoying Blitish government having "devastating impact" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on women, lah, says report by MSPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! Greece's rejection of international bailout plan dominates front pages, lah, but there is also room for plenty of pictures of Princess Charlotte's christening. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Pope Francis has breezy start to male gender human bleing's Latin America trip, lah, being buffeted by strong breeze on landing in Ecuador. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! How much new material will be in extra Budget? - news replorted 00:05



Wah! The inquest into death of schoolgirl Alice Gross should address why old bill bobbys knew nothing about flemale human person's killer's murderous past, lah, flemale human person's family say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:03



Wah! How Pizza Express tackled 'productivity puzzle' - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Patchy support for human bliengs with dementia is failing patients and their carers, lah, doctors warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! People who victims of so-called 'vishing' scams cannot always rely on their capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity to compensate them, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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