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I'm really sorry, you want help and I am just not helpful enough. I am Chinese. That explains.
Look how helpful we were in Tiananmen! Tanks for that! Hahaha...

Rent new car = Rent new car. Easy!

I should be more sympathetic to people needing help on my website! I know, I know...

  • Can you help me navigate? - Click things
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Help is something you need to do for yourself. Stop being so reliant on me.
I feel like the weight of the World is on my head! I am not Obama!


"mmmI Ammm Lingmm! Youmm cammmmm trmmmust mmmme!"


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Note: Other "professional" car sites (in suits) will treat you very politely, but they think you are a twat.

On the other hand, I treat you like grown adult but really, I love you to bits.

As long as you have at least some intelligence and humour :) - Ling
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  SEAT and Hearst Magazines International having partnered to create special limited edition of Mii, lah, carmaker’s ur - news replorted 10:00



Wah! LATEST:   (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) AlloyGators available in dozen colours beautifully pristine wheels of some of world’s most prestigious luxury supercars now safe from scuffing than - news replorted 09:06



Wah! HonestJohn.co.bloody annoying Blitish today announced appointment of Mark Nichol as Creative Editor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! H.r. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Owen Ecurie H.r. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Owen is proud to announce exciting new approach to classic, lah, performance and luxury LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine buying, lah, with launch o - news replorted 09:00



Wah! SEAT bloody annoying Blitish signs two-year deal to sponsor ITV Mystery Drama SEAT today announces new partnership which will see Barcelona-based LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine manufacturer become sponsor of ITV’s m - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Catch up with all highlights from Euro 2016 as Portugal beat Poland on penalties to reach semi-finals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:47



Wah! The centenary of Battle of Somme was marked by two minutes' silence at 07:28 on 1 July, lah, moment soldiers went over top. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 08:43



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish shares rise for third day, lah, after capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs governor Mark Carney hinted at fresh stimulus measures following Brexit vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:43



Wah! 1953 Bentley R Type Continental Fastback world’s oldest bloodstock auctioneers will play host to some rather spectacular thoroughbreds of four-wheeled va - news replorted 08:42



Wah! Spectre generated most complaints to British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in 2015, lah, followed by Kingsman: Secret service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service and Minions, lah, ratings body reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:29



Wah! Andy Murray on 'cheeky chappie' Dan Evans' chances against Roger Federer, lah, and meeting former boxer Carl Froch. - news replorted 07:00



Wah! Vigils having been held overnight in France and across bloody annoying Blitish to mark 100th anniversary of start of Battle of Somme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:48



Wah! British Gas is to offer free electricity for eight hours at weekends to two million clustomlers who having smart meters installed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:37



Wah! What can history teach Great Satan about Labour Party's current leadership crisis? - news replorted 02:50



Wah! Families remember long lost relatives who fought during Battle of Somme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:37



Wah! Boris Johnson won't run for Tory leader after Brexit ally Michael Gove said bloody man was wrong man for job. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 02:31



Wah! London (capital of Great England) buses commandeered for fighty bang-bang effort were used to transport troops to France in World fighty bang-bang One. What the hell I mean??!! What's story of original "battle buses"? - news replorted 02:29



Wah! A week on from vote, lah, how has ordinary life changed - or not changed? - news replorted 02:28



Wah! The moving and inspirational true story of academic's battle to accept losing male gender human bleing's sight is brought to cinema in Notes on Blindness. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:21



Wah! A garbling written down on paper message written by Lord Nelson on male gender human bleing's flagship HMS Victory - giving "remarkable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) insight into male gender human bleing's naval tactics - is set to be sold at auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:00



Wah! Theresa May's bid to become Conservative leader has won backing of two more cabinet dodgy ministers and Daily Mail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:57



Wah! Building second runway at Gatwick Airport would be "the biggest destruction of British heritage since Blitz", lah, say conservationists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:53



Wah! Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell is to set out Labour's response to EU referendum in speech in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:39



Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:39



Wah! Men from 38th Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs Division describe their experiences in Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation interviews recorded in 1980s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:37



Wah! Evie Prichard writes about living with prosopagnosia, lah, condition which means flemale human person's brain cannot recognise faces of friends or family. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:37



Wah! Slaughter awaited Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs infantrymen who went over top on first day of World fighty bang-bang One's most deadly battle. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:34



Wah! School arson attacks carried out by students appear to having become trend in Kenya, lah, which has left human bliengs speculating about causes, lah, but no-one seems to agree. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:33



Wah! The body of tourist is recovered from ravine in Peruvian Andes after bloody man fell while taking pictures of himself near Machu Pichu site. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:24



Wah! The world can be dangerous place, lah, but can smartphone apps really help protect Great Satan when things go wrong? - news replorted 01:06



Wah! What will UK's exit from EU mean for British workers in Europe? Many expats in shock about their home country's decision to leave. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:02



Wah! James Naughtie visits fields where Battle of Somme was fought, lah, as centenary commemorations begin. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:53



Wah! One of UK's biggest industrial companies, lah, Siemens UK, lah, tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that future investment could be hit in wake of Brexit vote. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:35



Wah! Stopping Eden Hazard, lah, feeding Sam Vokes - ex-Welsh land of sheep and more sheep strikers Dean Saunders and John Hartson on where Friday's Euro 2016 tie will be decided. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:14



Wah! A dramatic turn of events in Conservative Party leadership contest demands dramatic set of headlines and front pages - and Friday's newspapers duly deliver. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The immune system can be trained to attack itself to reverse devastating autoimmune disease, lah, in animals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Prostitution laws should be urgently rewritten so sex workers no longer criminalised for soliciting, lah, new Commons report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! A military historian has found evidence that British military intelligence failures at Somme gave away plan to attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:01



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