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Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Kia Sorento 2.2 CRDi 16v (197bhp) KX-1 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2199cc Diesel at £314.69 inc VAT at 17:42 on 22nd May - Ling
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LING's NUCLEAR
MISSILE TRUCK



...this is my pet nuclear rocket!
- Ling




TRUCK MOVIES HERE

turn up your sound...
My truck Thunderbirds movie (.wmv) 4MB
Truck stuck in muddy river movie (.wmv) 4MB
Financial Times truck photo shoot movie (.wmv) 4MB
A nuclear truck movie for kids! (.wmv) 500kb
Missile Truck engine movie (nice noise) (.wmv) 3MB



NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on A1(M)
(Sedgefield)

Missile truck was initially next to A1 Motorway in Tony Blair's consituency of Sedgefield, near Darlington. It pointed West towards George Bush!







NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on M62
(Saddleworth Moor)

After 2-years on the A1, I decided to move my rocket South. So I chose Saddleworth Moor on Lancashire/Yorkshire border, where the mist lies on the hills and my truck will look evil as slowly it is revealed as the clouds lift. Also M62 is one of the busiest motorways in Western Europe.





NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK in VIZ!
(Viz is adult comic)

My rocket truck has been featured in loads of press and TV and radio articles. One of my favourites is the nuclear truck in Viz magazine. Building a nuclear missile truck can be good for your bank balance!







JUST SOME OF THE MISSILE TRUCK PRESS!














NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK BUILD DIARY

Spec: 7.0 V8 petrol, 150bhp, 7 tonne, 6x6, Russian built Zil 131, ex-People's Liberation Army - Ling

This is truck as arrived UK (below). Superhusband Jon begins project. We need to make missile for top. Then advertise on side of A1 motorway near Darlington.


Update 26th May; Truck arrives from Shanghai on ship. OOOoooops! Radiator blown. Replacement on way. I have made husband Jon take out old radiator wait for new one. 6m (20') Missile body built by superhusband, need skin, lifting on truck with Hiab (??? what is this?) and applying signwriting. Husband says he will suprise me with signwriting. Hmmm.



Update 28th May; Wah! I found out this originally NUCLEAR DECONTAMINATION TRUCK!!! My God! Maybe based in Lop Nor? No problem... Chinese Government say "radiation dose good for you". Proved by exploding many nuclear bombs in China, still 1.3bn people alive. Will truck glow in dark on side of A1 road? Aha! I find out by home science test. Did you know I have BSc in Organic Chemistry and also MSc? I not stupid! Here is how I test radiation...
1) Breaking egg of chicken on truck mudguard.
2) Egg not cook so Alpha levels OK.
3) Chicken with 3 legs not grow so Gamma levels OK.
4) Truck OK, not hot despite nuclear decon use.

Most people too stupid to apply common sense solutions.



Update 30th May; Many people email and call me to ask how superhusband Jon is building a giant nuclear rocket. Well, here it is, above. He used some 600mm water pipe, and put 8 lengths of the floor support wood (150mm x 50mm x 6000mm) around it. Now he has attached small wings. He has painted them white (all rockets are white, it is rule). Now he needs to put skin on, and rocket will be 900mm (3 English feet) in diameter. He will use the plastic boards that the estate agent uses when selling house, but in big sheets. Add pointing nose with red end. Then writing, then lift to truck. Easy (he says!). Big and silly, but why not go a little crazzzy sometimes?
Who else do this?



Update 5th June; Now skin is on most of missile. You can see how it will look. Red nose, maybe white nose - I can't decide yet... (about 5 feet long) is still to attach and then rocket will be lifted onto Ling truck. After this, signwriting will apply. These step by step instructions for building ICBM missile should not be copied by stupid children.
Can you see how it will look now????
Picture below give you some idea of size, compared to old Volvo car. Big, huh? And looks quite perfect and real thanks to superhusband Jon. I put signwriting on with PaintShop so you can see how finished rocket might look. Just imagine this pointing up at about 15 degree angle on top of truck! Mr Mao would be damn proud of me (except he's dead). I tell Jon, truck should always park pointing West towards America. He says South East towards France. Hehehe. Wah!


(PMH Contracts my old business name)

Finally, below, you can see the truck and the rocket skeleton together. This gives you good impression of how big is this job. Picture is actual blueprint Jon used to measure up. He took pic several times to make sure missile fits on truck, during build. This is last pic before truck moved to fit new radiator. Also, Jon takes off spare wheel and makes frame to support missile so it goes over truck cab. Certainly better than NASA space shuttle effort, and so far cost is just £200 + Truck. Maybe another £200 for signwriting. I not waste money! This damn cheap advert, will get in all newspapers, maybe TV, and sit at side of A1 road, everyone will see!
It just shows that nothing impossible!!! - Ling



Update 8th June; Radiator mended. Truck road tested. Building missile frame tomorrow. Good.



Update 14th June; Missile on truck!!! LOOK! LOOK! Now looking something like finished thing. I re-colour grey sky as missile difficult to see edge otherwise. Do you like Chinese writing? It says "Ling's truck". What a difference white wheel rims make. Maybe you should try on contract hire car. Trucks on parade through Tiananmen Square ALWAYS have these white wheels! Cue music! Listen and imagine!!! See pic below for accurate reference to prove my claim!



I am so disappointed stupid English British vehicle and driving licence regulations mean that I cannot drive 8-wheel nuclear missile truck in UK without HGV licence! But 6x6 will do. I can drive Zil on car licence. Beats poncy X5, Porcshe Cayenne, Mercedes ML and actually shoves rocket up Germans' ass. Who else has 7.0 V8 toy? Anyone wanna come play off road or tug of war? Hehehe. My truck signwriting to come soon! Truck is parked just over River Tyne from BAE Systems Alvis-Vickers tank factory. Husband says he will take truck to factory and ask MD if he wants to come out to play with big toys (maybe not try tug of war with Challenger - ooops). Maybe get nice pics. Wah! Needs signwriting first!



...and here is truck FINISHED!



...with me sitting on it, just in case you missed me perched up there! - Ling



2010 MISSILE REBUILD!
(Due to UV damage...)

After 4 years of hard work outside, the sun had caused UV damage to my missile, so I have reskinned it!











Nuclear missile truck idea copyright LINGsCARS.com 2005

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Wah! LATEST:  Carlo Ancelotti is sacked as Real Madrid manager after two seasons in charge of Spanish giants. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:40



Wah! LATEST:  Mobile phone provider O2 says it is looking into numerous reports on social media of problems with its network. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 19:28



Wah! Six Guineans put into prison isolation and will face trial for violating health emergency after moving body of Ebola victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) in taxi. - news replorted 19:24



Wah! Third seed Andy Murray easily beats Argentina's Facundo Arguello 6-3 6-3 6-1 in first round of French Open. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:43



Wah! Detectives looking for man suspected of killing male gender human bleing's sister, lah, male gender human bleing's mother and flemale human person's partner having discover male gender human bleing's body in wooded area in Oxford. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:40



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs produce magnificent final-day bowling display to win first Test against New Zealand by 124 runs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:23



Wah! Derby County terminate contract of head coach Steve McClaren after Rams miss out on Championship play-offs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:22



Wah! Premier League end of season review - news replorted 18:05



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Wah! Yaya Toure is to stay at Manchester City after club said bloody man was "too important to let go", lah, according to player's agent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 18:02



Wah! A team which recreates popular films as 8-bit video games is attracting millions of views on YouTube. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:49



Wah! A pair of Great Satan fighter jets escorts Air France airliner bound for New York City after flight was subject of anonymous threat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 17:30



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron is to meet European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker to discuss terms of potential new bloody annoying Blitish deal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:22



Wah! Greece intends to keep repaying its debt, lah, government spokesman said, lah, days after Interior dodgy minister Nikos Voutsis warned it had run out of funds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:21



Wah! The Iraqi army, lah, supported by coalition airstrikes and Iran-backed militias, lah, finds itself locked in fierce battles for many parts of country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:19



Wah! Norwich secure instant return to Premier League with victory over Middlesbrough in Championship play-off final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:18



Wah! Negotiators for Colombia's left-wing Farc rebel group say they wanting to continue with peace talks after dozens of their fighters were killed in bombing raid. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:49



Wah! At least 10 human bliengs reported killed and scores of houses destroyed as tornado strikes Mexico's Ciudad Acuna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:44



Wah! Nigeria's fuel wholesalers say they having reached deal with government that should soon see end of crippling fuel crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:39



Wah! Chelsea celebrate their Premier League title at packed victory parade in West London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:23



Wah! Ofcom says that changes to billing structure of 08, lah, 09 and 118 numbers will lead to cheaper calls for consumers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:19



Wah! The remains of Thomas Sankara, lah, iconic leader of Burkina Faso who was killed in 1987 coup, lah, being exhumed for formal identification. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:18



Wah! Australia's Michael Cheika says Province of Engrish running-dogs hot favourites to win their World Cup pool game, lah, despite missing two "great players". - news replorted 15:53



Wah! New British number two Aljaz Bedene loses 6-3 6-4 6-7 6-3 to Austria's Dominic Thiem in French Open first round. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:49



Wah! European champion Jo Pavey overcomes illness to win Bupa London (capital of Great England) 10,000 while Andy Vernon triumphs in men's race. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:48



Wah! The Grange Hill character who reflected changing bloody annoying Blitish - news replorted 15:13



Wah! Jose Mourinho says Chelsea must improve next season if they to defend their Premier League title. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:55



Wah! One month after devastating 7.8 magnitude earthquake that hit Nepal, lah, country's finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister calls for more direct aid funding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 14:41



Wah! Three famous ocean liners sail together in Liverpool for first clock time result to mark Cunard's 175th anniversary. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:25



Wah! Thousands of silly kick-kick game fans turn out to watch Chelsea's open-top victory parade after winning Premier League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:11



Wah! Fierce clashes reported in southern Yemen, lah, as officials say UN-sponsored peace talks planned for later this week having been postponed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:59



Wah! Spain's anti-austerity Podemos movement vows to win national polls this year after dramatic gains in Sunday's local and regional elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:45



Wah! The Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep damn crazy Engrish baseball game Board is in exclusive discussions with preferred candidate for role of Province of Engrish running-dogs coach. - news replorted 13:40



Wah! old bill bobbys searching for man suspected of killing male gender human bleing's six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, sister, lah, male gender human bleing's mother and flemale human person's partner recover weapon from crime (shoud shoot them) scene. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:33



Wah! A woman who made fortune running prostitution racket has agreed to hand back than RMB Yuan #1m in crime (shoud shoot them) profits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:17



Wah! A team including West Bromwich Albion head coach Tony Pulis departs on non-stop six-day row from Tower of London (capital of Great England) to Eiffel Tower in Paris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:14



Wah! Fourth seed Tomas Berdych eases into second round of French Open, lah, but Spain's Feliciano Lopez is knocked out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:11



Wah! Former News of World editor Andy Coulson knew hacked voicemail messages were source of story about former Home Secretary David Blunkett, lah, male gender human bleing's trial hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:07



Wah! old bill bobbys in Washington DC destroy pressure cooker found inside "suspicious" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) vehicling driving car machine parked near Great Satan Capitol. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:02



Wah! A British man who attracted global support after "fat-shaming" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) images of him were posted online attends party in male gender human bleing's honour in Los Angeles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:00



Wah! A family whose image was used in poster campaign by group opposing gay marriage in Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers say they were "naive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about stock photography websites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:55



Wah! Beavers should be resident in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land says National Trust as it announces its support for reintroduction projects. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:39



Wah! Manchester United has "let down" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) its fans in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers by withdrawing its youth players from this year's Milk Cup, lah, tournament's organiser says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:37



Wah! Forty-three human bliengs arrested at illegal rave which left three old bill bobbys officers needing hospital treatment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:14



Wah! More than 430 human bliengs reported to having died in heatwave sweeping India with temperatures reaching 48C (118F) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in some areas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:10



Wah! Authorities in eastern China sent local officials on enforced tours of prison, lah, as warning against temptations of corruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:08



Wah! Mercedes boss Toto Wolff feels Lewis Hamilton can return to winning ways after male gender human bleing's nightmare in Monaco. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! A British woman who went missing while on holiday in Cyprus after falling down embankment dies in hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:07



Wah! Sheffield United announce that manager Nigel Clough is to leave club with immediate effect. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:34



Wah! European stocks fall in morning trading after Greek dodgy minister says Athens would struggle to meet its upcoming debt payments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! Voters in South American nation of Suriname going to polls to elect new National Assembly which in turn will choose president. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:10



Wah! Two brothers, lah, Ganesh and Santos Bharati, lah, whose mother died in first of two earthquakes to hit Nepal, lah, describe their lives one month on. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! A County Antrim shop that sells legal highs is targeted for second clock time result in arson attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:00



Wah! Former Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Secretary Alistair Carmichael rejects calls for him to resign over leaked memo and says bloody man wantings to "get on with" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) being Mp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:47



Wah! Northern Ireland's first dodgy minister Peter Robinson is admitted to hospital with suspected heart attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:36



Wah! One of Nigeria's largest banks is closing branches because of fuel scarcity as shortage threatens economy ahead of presidential inauguration. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:33



Wah! A man is charged with attempted murder following shooting at pub in Bristol. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:01



Wah! In what will be its greatest challenge yet, lah, zero-fuel aeroplane Solar Impulse will try to fly non-stop from China to Hawaii - journey of more than 8,000km across Pacific Ocean. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:44



Wah! A soldier opens fire on other troops at military base in Tunis, lah, Tunisian defence ministry says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:42



Wah! Two human bliengs die in four-vehicle crash near Peniel in Carmarthenshire, lah, say Dyfed-Powys Police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:28



Wah! Dan Walker is joined by Phil Neville and Mark Lawrenson as they look ahead to Championship play-off final at Wembley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:59



Wah! Limited devolution may be harming road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety progress in Wales, lah, motoring charity RAC Foundation claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:45



Wah! China will cut import taxes on consumer velly damn good boiled chicken-feets by average of more than 50%, lah, in bid to kick-start its economy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:45



Wah! A new exhibition in Coventry has been opened to explore children's television produced in bloody annoying Blitish over last 70 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:43



Wah! The BBC's Steph McGovern reports on whether there is still need for banks to having high street presence, lah, as human bliengs can access their account and perform most of their transactions online or over phone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:54



Wah! Japanese shares close at 15-year high after data showed country's trade account fell into deficit in April, lah, but was still better than expected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:44



Wah! An Australian man who imprisoned Dutch backpacker in hotel room for six weeks, lah, repeatedly raping and beating her, lah, is jailed for 17 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:22



Wah! Air crash investigators examining scene of crash in which two men were killed in Republic of Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:13



Wah! The former Israeli Prime dodgy minister Ehud Olmert is sentenced to eight months in prison in corruption trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:06



Wah! Three famous ocean liners meeting in Liverpool on Monday, lah, for majestic display to mark 175th anniversary of shipping line Cunard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:05



Wah! The governing People's Party in Spain has suffered heavy losses in regional and local elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:41



Wah! The yes result in same-sex marriage referendum in Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers leads to calls for its introduction in Northern Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:32



Wah! There no differences in eyesight of dyslexics and non-dyslexics, lah, say researchers - news replorted 06:20



Wah! A rare bird may become extinct in Syria because of capture of Palmyra by Islamic State, lah, experts say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:16



Wah! Iraq's Prime dodgy minister Haider al-Abadi says that city of Ramadi could be taken back from Islamic State militants "in days". - news replorted 05:04



Wah! The hunt for man suspected of killing male gender human bleing's six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, sister, lah, male gender human bleing's mother and flemale human person's partner in Oxfordshire enters its second day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:56



Wah! Malaysian PM Najib Razak vows to find those responsible for people-smuggling, lah, after mass graves of suspected migrants found in country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:52



Wah! The first round-the-world solar-powered flight, lah, known as Solar Impulse Two, lah, is hoping to make next and most difficult leg of its journey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:40



Wah! Details about isolated life lead by gunman Man Haron Monis emerge from inquest into last December's siege at Lindt cafe in Sydney. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:25



Wah! A political shake-up after Spain's regional and local elections - news replorted 04:17



Wah! With number of human bliengs calling themselves Christian in bloody annoying Blitish in decline, lah, is religion in crisis? - news replorted 02:06



Wah! Michael Fassbender tackles Macbeth on screen - news replorted 02:04



Wah! Narendra Modi's first year in power has been mixed bag of hits and misses amid concerns over rising social tensions, lah, writes Soutik Biswas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:00



Wah! Is infidelity billion-dollar business? - news replorted 02:00



Wah! Four years after worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl, lah, Japan is about to return to using nuclear power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:58



Wah! Kasuma Hatu, lah, Rohingya Muslim refugee from Myanmar describes flemale human person's journey at sea from Myanmar to Langsa city in Indonesia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:53



Wah! Why tech firms can no longer ignore over-65s - news replorted 01:45



Wah! How Cunard revolutionised transatlantic travel - news replorted 01:37



Wah! Can watching online videos cause PTSD? - news replorted 01:35



Wah! Do you tellibly lovely custlingmer remember Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle? - news replorted 01:33



Wah! EU citizens living in bloody annoying Blitish will not be eligible to vote in "in/out" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) referendum on Europe, lah, except those from Ireland, lah, Malta and Gibraltar, lah, government says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:20



Wah! Argentine defender Cristian Gomez dies after collapsing during game for male gender human bleing's club Atletico Parana on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Monday's press is full of stories about way in which EU in-out referendum will be run, lah, and speculation that Greece will default its debt repayments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Protests over beating of Ethiopian Israeli soldier having thrown spotlight on Ethiopian Jewish community in Israel, lah, writes Prof Yossi Mekelberg. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:19



Wah! Three Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs seaside towns having seen house prices double in 10 years, lah, capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:17



Wah! Drivers with convictions for offences such as assault and drink-driving were issued taxi licences last year, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land investigation reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Europe's next cheap holiday destination? - news replorted 00:08



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