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LING's NUCLEAR
MISSILE TRUCK



...this is my pet nuclear rocket!
- Ling




TRUCK MOVIES HERE

turn up your sound...
My truck Thunderbirds movie (.wmv) 4MB
Truck stuck in muddy river movie (.wmv) 4MB
Financial Times truck photo shoot movie (.wmv) 4MB
A nuclear truck movie for kids! (.wmv) 500kb
Missile Truck engine movie (nice noise) (.wmv) 3MB



NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on A1(M)
(Sedgefield)

Missile truck was initially next to A1 Motorway in Tony Blair's consituency of Sedgefield, near Darlington. It pointed West towards George Bush!







NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on M62
(Saddleworth Moor)

After 2-years on the A1, I decided to move my rocket South. So I chose Saddleworth Moor on Lancashire/Yorkshire border, where the mist lies on the hills and my truck will look evil as slowly it is revealed as the clouds lift. Also M62 is one of the busiest motorways in Western Europe.





NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK in VIZ!
(Viz is adult comic)

My rocket truck has been featured in loads of press and TV and radio articles. One of my favourites is the nuclear truck in Viz magazine. Building a nuclear missile truck can be good for your bank balance!







JUST SOME OF THE MISSILE TRUCK PRESS!














NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK BUILD DIARY

Spec: 7.0 V8 petrol, 150bhp, 7 tonne, 6x6, Russian built Zil 131, ex-People's Liberation Army - Ling

This is truck as arrived UK (below). Superhusband Jon begins project. We need to make missile for top. Then advertise on side of A1 motorway near Darlington.


Update 26th May; Truck arrives from Shanghai on ship. OOOoooops! Radiator blown. Replacement on way. I have made husband Jon take out old radiator wait for new one. 6m (20') Missile body built by superhusband, need skin, lifting on truck with Hiab (??? what is this?) and applying signwriting. Husband says he will suprise me with signwriting. Hmmm.



Update 28th May; Wah! I found out this originally NUCLEAR DECONTAMINATION TRUCK!!! My God! Maybe based in Lop Nor? No problem... Chinese Government say "radiation dose good for you". Proved by exploding many nuclear bombs in China, still 1.3bn people alive. Will truck glow in dark on side of A1 road? Aha! I find out by home science test. Did you know I have BSc in Organic Chemistry and also MSc? I not stupid! Here is how I test radiation...
1) Breaking egg of chicken on truck mudguard.
2) Egg not cook so Alpha levels OK.
3) Chicken with 3 legs not grow so Gamma levels OK.
4) Truck OK, not hot despite nuclear decon use.

Most people too stupid to apply common sense solutions.



Update 30th May; Many people email and call me to ask how superhusband Jon is building a giant nuclear rocket. Well, here it is, above. He used some 600mm water pipe, and put 8 lengths of the floor support wood (150mm x 50mm x 6000mm) around it. Now he has attached small wings. He has painted them white (all rockets are white, it is rule). Now he needs to put skin on, and rocket will be 900mm (3 English feet) in diameter. He will use the plastic boards that the estate agent uses when selling house, but in big sheets. Add pointing nose with red end. Then writing, then lift to truck. Easy (he says!). Big and silly, but why not go a little crazzzy sometimes?
Who else do this?



Update 5th June; Now skin is on most of missile. You can see how it will look. Red nose, maybe white nose - I can't decide yet... (about 5 feet long) is still to attach and then rocket will be lifted onto Ling truck. After this, signwriting will apply. These step by step instructions for building ICBM missile should not be copied by stupid children.
Can you see how it will look now????
Picture below give you some idea of size, compared to old Volvo car. Big, huh? And looks quite perfect and real thanks to superhusband Jon. I put signwriting on with PaintShop so you can see how finished rocket might look. Just imagine this pointing up at about 15 degree angle on top of truck! Mr Mao would be damn proud of me (except he's dead). I tell Jon, truck should always park pointing West towards America. He says South East towards France. Hehehe. Wah!


(PMH Contracts my old business name)

Finally, below, you can see the truck and the rocket skeleton together. This gives you good impression of how big is this job. Picture is actual blueprint Jon used to measure up. He took pic several times to make sure missile fits on truck, during build. This is last pic before truck moved to fit new radiator. Also, Jon takes off spare wheel and makes frame to support missile so it goes over truck cab. Certainly better than NASA space shuttle effort, and so far cost is just £200 + Truck. Maybe another £200 for signwriting. I not waste money! This damn cheap advert, will get in all newspapers, maybe TV, and sit at side of A1 road, everyone will see!
It just shows that nothing impossible!!! - Ling



Update 8th June; Radiator mended. Truck road tested. Building missile frame tomorrow. Good.



Update 14th June; Missile on truck!!! LOOK! LOOK! Now looking something like finished thing. I re-colour grey sky as missile difficult to see edge otherwise. Do you like Chinese writing? It says "Ling's truck". What a difference white wheel rims make. Maybe you should try on contract hire car. Trucks on parade through Tiananmen Square ALWAYS have these white wheels! Cue music! Listen and imagine!!! See pic below for accurate reference to prove my claim!



I am so disappointed stupid English British vehicle and driving licence regulations mean that I cannot drive 8-wheel nuclear missile truck in UK without HGV licence! But 6x6 will do. I can drive Zil on car licence. Beats poncy X5, Porcshe Cayenne, Mercedes ML and actually shoves rocket up Germans' ass. Who else has 7.0 V8 toy? Anyone wanna come play off road or tug of war? Hehehe. My truck signwriting to come soon! Truck is parked just over River Tyne from BAE Systems Alvis-Vickers tank factory. Husband says he will take truck to factory and ask MD if he wants to come out to play with big toys (maybe not try tug of war with Challenger - ooops). Maybe get nice pics. Wah! Needs signwriting first!



...and here is truck FINISHED!



...with me sitting on it, just in case you missed me perched up there! - Ling



2010 MISSILE REBUILD!
(Due to UV damage...)

After 4 years of hard work outside, the sun had caused UV damage to my missile, so I have reskinned it!











Nuclear missile truck idea copyright LINGsCARS.com 2005

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Wah! LATEST:  Two armed men who took hostages at church near Rouen in northern France now dead and one hostage has been killed, lah, old bill bobbys and French media say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:27



Wah! LATEST:  Irish jockey JT McNamara, lah, who was paralysed after fall at 2013 Cheltenham Festival, lah, dies at age of 41. - news replorted 10:21



Wah! US first lady Michelle "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama delivers rebuke to Republican Donald Trump and gives impassioned endorsement of Hillary Clinton at Democratic convention. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:21



Wah! Postal workers at Crown offices to balloted on whether to take strike action over job cuts, lah, pension changes and Mandleson privatising post machine system office closures, lah, Communication Workers Union says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:21



Wah! Moscow-Beijing triumph for Plugleot 2008 DKR Cyril DESPRES / David CASTERA and #104 Plugleot 2008 DKR having won 2016 Silk Way Rally, lah, WAH! - news replorted 09:55



Wah! A rare 15th Century oil painting of St Luke Drawing Virgin and Child by Dieric Bouts is to remain in bloody annoying Blitish after RMB Yuan #2,290,650, lah, was acquired in funding and donations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:48



Wah! Africa will getting two extra World Cup places should tournament expand to 40 teams from 2026, lah, says Fifa boss Gianni Infantino. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:31



Wah! Renault Master remains LCV of choice for TIP Trailer Services bloody annoying Blitish arm of Europe’s ‘One-stop-shop’ for truck operators’ trailer needs has reaffirmed its confidence in Renliot M - news replorted 09:30



Wah! The mother-in-law of Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone is kidnapped in Brazil with criminals demanding ransom of $36.5m (RMB Yuan #28m), lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:25



Wah! An organiser of pool party where man was shot dead describes "frightening chaos" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that unfolded. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:08



Wah! Bookmakers Ladbrokes and Gala Coral must sell about 350-400 shops in order (piece of paper signee upee) for their merger to be cleared, lah, competition regulator says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Honda set to entertain CarFest visitors Rondla (UK) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is back once again at CarFest for summer 2016. With much bigger presence than in previous years, lah, Rondla (bloody annoying Blitish - news replorted 08:00



Wah! The Six Nations is likely to remain in its February-monthly number-three slot despite suggestions it may move to April, lah, says RFU boss Ian Ritchie. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:31



Wah! BT's Openreach division, lah, which runs UK's broadband infrastructure, lah, should become distinct company, lah, but not split off from BT group, lah, according to regulator Ofcom. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 07:13



Wah! Michelle "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama hits out at Republican Donald Trump in speech at Democratic National Convention - news replorted 06:32



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport continues countdown to 2016 Rio Olympic Games with 1968 Mexico City protest by Tommie Smith and John Carlos at their treatment in United States. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:18



Wah! Prisoners held indefinitely after serving their minimum term or tariff should not having to prove it is "safe" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to release them, lah, new Parole Board chairman says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:02



Wah! The first round-the-world solar powered flight has been completed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:26



Wah! The Solar Impulse becomes first aircraft to circle globe powered by sun after landing in Abu Dhabi on last leg of its journey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:06



Wah! Theresa May is to meet Irish counterpart Enda Kenny for talks set to be dominated by fallout from UK's vote to leave EU. - news replorted 00:53



Wah! A crackdown on rail fares and concerns over broadband speeds among stories that make front page headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:49



Wah! When it comes to height, lah, Dutch men and Latvian women tower over all other nationalities, lah, new study reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:39



Wah! Could sticking to traditional suit at work hamper your as really velly special customer's career? - news replorted 00:13



Wah! Photographer Charles Fox rice-paper officialing doumentlation work of Trapang Sangke fishing community in Cambodia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! The old bill bobbys response to hate crime (shoud shoot them) is to be reviewed after sharp rise in incidents following EU referendum, lah, government is to announce. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Jamie Coomarasamy sees how growing numbers of Americans switching - or thinking of switching - party allegiances at forthcoming presidential election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! London's Garden Bridge project has been pushed back until at least autumn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Syria's Kurds having come long way since declaring self-rule in 2013, lah, but territorial expansion is creating its own problems, lah, writes BBC's Lina Sinjab. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Iranians and Georgians appalled by national uniforms designed for Olympics opening ceremony. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Eddie Mair and Kirsty Young voted UK's favourite radio voices in poll conducted by Radio Times. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish government's getting together with retail giant Amazon, lah, to start testing flying drones that can deliver parcels to your as really velly special customer's door. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Sir Chris Hoy unveils golden LEAF giveaway Nissling will give away gold LEAFs to its athlete ambassadors who win gold at Rio 2016 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A Frenchman is suing male gender human bleing's former employer for "bore out" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) - being "killed professionally" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) through boredom - but is there any such thing? - news replorted 00:00



Wah! O2 clustomler data is being sold by criminals on dark net, lah, BBC's Victoria Derbyshire programme has learned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:00



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