CAR LEASING
Want a cheap
new lease car?

Start HERE!


Cheap Car Leasing My Extra Cheap Leasing Deals
My cheapest
leasing deals!
My Customer Letters!
My Fun Pages!
Read All About Me!
Note: I live inside this website Monday to Friday 9am-6pm, to give you the very best service and make your experience a happy one! - I am Ling, accept no substitutes
Ling's Car Leasing Deals
Car LeasingCar Leasing
Winner of NatWest EveryWoman Award!
Spacer
Spacer

CAR LEASING - CONTRACT HIRE - CHEAP LEASE CARS

Home
Cars Vans Bikes
How It Works
Price Lists
About Ling
Customers
 Fun Stuff
Quote/ Order
 
Quiz Ling's Movies Chinese Car Websites Free Cash Apply Noodle Apply Werthers My Bus
Speed Cameras Chop Gear Mongol Rally UK Rallycross LingTube Website Advice Website Article
Car Flu Car Websites Google Censorship Missle Truck Top 10 Car Ads Suspension Movie Personal Plates Motoring Law Help Chinese Vote Now! World Cup 2006 Burma Pledge Hangman BBC News Monetise Twitter iPad vs iLing SuperMondays

Chat -> Intro Film News Blog Office TV Twitter! Contact Moan Links
 
Car Leasing Indian call centreCar Leasing Asian call centre Part exchange yuour old car Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
Food --->
Google Spider Food

View LIVE visitors: 1 online

Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
I expose ILLEGAL and MISLEADING contract hire and leasing websites! Why are you being tricked? - Ling
Spacer
I reveal CHEATING LOW LEASING PRICES from other car leasing companies! Why they do THIS? - Ling
Spacer
Spacer BT General
Manager says:
"Ling is such a superb 2009 Award Winner for the best use of IT and Communications. Innovative use of the internet and her first class customer service should bring her many more years of business success."
Spacer
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Volvo XC90 2.4 D5 20v (182bhp) Active Premium 4WD Station Wagon (7-seat) 5dr 2400cc Diesel at £438.71 inc VAT at 18:39 yesterday - Ling

LINGS GUIDED MISSILE TRUCK FOR LEASE






LING's NUCLEAR
MISSILE TRUCK



TRUCK MOVIES HERE
turn up your sound...
My truck Thunderbirds movie (.wmv) 4MB
Truck stuck in muddy river movie (.wmv) 4MB
Financial Times truck photo shoot movie (.wmv) 4MB
A nuclear truck movie for kids! (.wmv) 500kb
Missile Truck engine movie (nice noise) (.wmv) 3MB


NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK now on M62
(Saddleworth Moor)



After 1-year on the A1, I decided to move my rocket South. So I chose Saddleworth Moor on Lancashire/Yorkshire border, where the mist lies on the hills and my truck will look evil as slowly it is revealed as the clouds lift. Also M62 is one of the busiest motorways in Western Europe.

NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on A1(M)
(old location, Sedgefield)







NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK in VIZ!
(Viz is adult comic)



My rocket truck has been featured in loads of press and TV and radio articles. One of my favourites is the nuclear truck in Viz magazine. Building a nuclear missile truck can be good for your bank balance!

NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK BUILD DIARY

Spec: 7.0 V8 petrol, 150bhp, 7 tonne, 6x6, Russian built Zil 131, ex-People's Liberation Army - Ling

This is truck as arrived UK (below). Superhusband Jon begins project. We need to make missile for top. Then advertise on side of A1 motorway near Darlington.


Update 26th May; Truck arrives from Shanghai on ship. OOOoooops! Radiator blown. Replacement on way. I have made husband Jon take out old radiator wait for new one. 6m (20') Missile body built by superhusband, need skin, lifting on truck with Hiab (??? what is this?) and applying signwriting. Husband says he will suprise me with signwriting. Hmmm.



Update 28th May; Wah! I found out this originally NUCLEAR DECONTAMINATION TRUCK!!! My God! Maybe based in Lop Nor? No problem... Chinese Government say "radiation dose good for you". Proved by exploding many nuclear bombs in China, still 1.3bn people alive. Will truck glow in dark on side of A1 road? Aha! I find out by home science test. Did you know I have BSc in Organic Chemistry and also MSc? I not stupid! Here is how I test radiation...
1) Breaking egg of chicken on truck mudguard.
2) Egg not cook so Alpha levels OK.
3) Chicken with 3 legs not grow so Gamma levels OK.
4) Truck OK, not hot despite nuclear decon use.

Most people too stupid to apply common sense solutions.



Update 30th May; Many people email and call me to ask how superhusband Jon is building a giant nuclear rocket. Well, here it is, above. He used some 600mm water pipe, and put 8 lengths of the floor support wood (150mm x 50mm x 6000mm) around it. Now he has attached small wings. He has painted them white (all rockets are white, it is rule). Now he needs to put skin on, and rocket will be 900mm (3 English feet) in diameter. He will use the plastic boards that the estate agent uses when selling house, but in big sheets. Add pointing nose with red end. Then writing, then lift to truck. Easy (he says!). Big and silly, but why not go a little crazzzy sometimes?
Who else do this?



Update 5th June; Now skin is on most of missile. You can see how it will look. Red nose, maybe white nose - I can't decide yet... (about 5 feet long) is still to attach and then rocket will be lifted onto Ling truck. After this, signwriting will apply. These step by step instructions for building ICBM missile should not be copied by stupid children.
Can you see how it will look now????
Picture below give you some idea of size, compared to old Volvo car. Big, huh? And looks quite perfect and real thanks to superhusband Jon. I put signwriting on with PaintShop so you can see how finished rocket might look. Just imagine this pointing up at about 15 degree angle on top of truck! Mr Mao would be damn proud of me (except he's dead). I tell Jon, truck should always park pointing West towards America. He says South East towards France. Hehehe. Wah!


(PMH Contracts my old business name)

Finally, below, you can see the truck and the rocket skeleton together. This gives you good impression of how big is this job. Picture is actual blueprint Jon used to measure up. He took pic several times to make sure missile fits on truck, during build. This is last pic before truck moved to fit new radiator. Also, Jon takes off spare wheel and makes frame to support missile so it goes over truck cab. Certainly better than NASA space shuttle effort, and so far cost is just £200 + Truck. Maybe another £200 for signwriting. I not waste money! This damn cheap advert, will get in all newspapers, maybe TV, and sit at side of A1 road, everyone will see!
It just shows that nothing impossible!!! - Ling



Update 8th June; Radiator mended. Truck road tested. Building missile frame tomorrow. Good.



Update 14th June; Missile on truck!!! LOOK! LOOK! Now looking something like finished thing. I re-colour grey sky as missile difficult to see edge otherwise. Do you like Chinese writing? It says "Ling's truck". What a difference white wheel rims make. Maybe you should try on contract hire car. Trucks on parade through Tiananmen Square ALWAYS have these white wheels! Cue music! Listen and imagine!!! See pic below for accurate reference to prove my claim!



I am so disappointed stupid English British vehicle and driving licence regulations mean that I cannot drive 8-wheel nuclear missile truck in UK without HGV licence! But 6x6 will do. I can drive Zil on car licence. Beats poncy X5, Porcshe Cayenne, Mercedes ML and actually shoves rocket up Germans' ass. Who else has 7.0 V8 toy? Anyone wanna come play off road or tug of war? Hehehe. My truck signwriting to come soon! Truck is parked just over River Tyne from BAE Systems Alvis-Vickers tank factory. Husband says he will take truck to factory and ask MD if he wants to come out to play with big toys (maybe not try tug of war with Challenger - ooops). Maybe get nice pics. Wah! Needs signwriting first!



...and here is truck FINISHED!



...with me sitting on it, just in case you missed me perched up there! - Ling





Nuclear missile truck idea copyright LINGsCARS.com 2005

CLICK! See 192 clients live in LINGO!
CLICK to VIEW!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
 
59 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
 
133 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling

No Waiting
 
MINI BLOG
 
I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
Comments ( 0 )
I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
Spacer
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

LATEST: The campaign for presidential and senatorial candidates begins in Philippines ahead of May's elections. - news replorted 03:49



LATEST: The family of Haitian man says bloody man has survived four weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) under rubble since devastating quake hit of 12 January. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:40



The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation is to reavealingly showing Great Satan total amount paid to its performers who broadcast on radio and television. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:24



Michael Jackson's doctor, lah, Conrad Murray, lah, denies charge of involuntary manslaughter over singer's death. - news replorted 01:04



A quantum physics trick is set to give smartphones and hand-held devices pressure-sensitive switches and touchscreens. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:04



Experts fear older women ditching contraception in mistaken belief that fertility inevitably wanes at certain age. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:03



Children as young as five being targeted in new online safety campaign by Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:58



MPs say entry requirements for teacher training courses in Province of Engrish running-dogs too low and damage status of profession. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:52



An inquiry begins to establish extent of human trafficking in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land and whether victims having enough protection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:44



A Great Satan soldier is arrested after allegedly waterboarding male gender human bleing's four-earth-years old happy birthday to you, daughter for not reciting alphabet, lah, say Washington state police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:41



Hero pilot on Heathrow crash landing - news replorted 00:24



The fault which caused plane to crash land at Heathrow airport in first number-one-month 2008 was "unrecognised", lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:23



The press watchdog upholds two complaints by X Factor judge Dannii Minogue against Daily Mirror and Daily Record for invasion of privacy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:22



Emergency legislation is rushed through House of Commons to allow assets of suspected terrorists to be frozen. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:09



Laws protecting workers' rights need to be improved to properly tackle poverty, lah, charity says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



MPs to vote on Gordon "Dear Leader" Brown's plan for referendum on changing Britain's "first past post" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) voting system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:03



Overpayment of benefits due to official errors has doubled from RMB Yuan #400m to RMB Yuan #800m since 2000, lah, says committee of MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03




My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Rude Radio!

Funny car leasing TV ads!


LINGsCARS is verified by Norton Security

Sidebar Letters

CUSTOMER
LETTERS!

Fuel Costs GORDON BROWN'S FUEL COST! See how much you spend on fuel while you rent a car from me. Every car listed! No one else shows you this! -Ling

Extra Cheap Cars
EXTRA CHEAP
CARS
HERE
See 30 cheapest cars!

Cost vs Fags
New Lease Cars Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Road Safety!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Mercedes GL Class!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Cheap Insurance
So many customers recommend so I pass on details of this cheap contract hire car insurance company... for all visitors! - Ling
Insurance

Cost vs Fags
New Lease Cars Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL!

For updates and comments, plus my opinions, new car feed, interesting stuff, latest deals, and me... click here.
- Ling

I am Ling!
Contract Cars
Who is Clarkson?
Who is Jeremy
Clarkson?

I exterminate!
I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed.
Who needs
Top Gear
when you have
Chop Gear?
Hahaha!

Harley Davidson lease bikes and motorcycle leasing from Ling
I now lease HARLEY-DAVIDSON
superbikes!
Motorbike leasing from just £127/mth for a Harley Sportster!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Ford Ka & a cat!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Road Safety!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Sidebar
Delivery FREE delivery and collection is included with most cars! A driver will drop off and collect your new car!

Sidebar Letters
Sidebar Letters Read my customer letters! Choose a CAR TYPE and read letters from customers who have rented this type from me!


JUST FOR FUN!
I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling

Proposal
Cheap Car Complete a proposal form here. Fill in the details online or paper, with no commitment, and your new car is one step closer!


Get my latest EMAIL car updates!

UK Car Sales Statistics
I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's
make-by-make!

See the sales stats the
car industry hides!

I am Ling!
Contract Cars
Who is Clarkson?
Who is Jeremy
Clarkson?

I exterminate!
I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed.
Who needs
Top Gear
when you have
Chop Gear?
Hahaha!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Mazda Pick-Up!

Funny car leasing TV ads!

Harley Davidson lease bikes and motorcycle leasing from Ling
I now lease HARLEY-DAVIDSON
superbikes!
Motorbike leasing from just £127/mth for a Harley Sportster!

Proposal
Cheap Car Complete a proposal form here. Fill in the details online or paper, with no commitment, and your new car is one step closer!

My Top 10 Car Adverts!
Mercedes GL Class!

Funny car leasing TV ads!