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Hi! I am Ling from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!

I expose ILLEGAL and MISLEADING contract hire and leasing websites! Why are you being tricked? - Ling

I reveal CHEATING LOW LEASING PRICES from other car leasing companies! Why they do THIS? - Ling

BT General Manager says: "Ling is such a superb 2009 Award Winner for the best use of IT and Communications. Innovative use of the internet and her first class customer service should bring her many more years of business success."

UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen DS3 1.6 THP 16v (150bhp) DSport Hatchback 3dr 1598cc Petrol at £322.90 inc VAT at 14:43 on 11th Mar - Ling

LINGS GUIDED MISSILE TRUCK FOR LEASE

LING's NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK TRUCK MOVIES HERE turn up your sound... My truck Thunderbirds movie (.wmv) 4MB Truck stuck in muddy river movie (.wmv) 4MB Financial Times truck photo shoot movie (.wmv) 4MB A nuclear truck movie for kids! (.wmv) 500kb Missile Truck engine movie (nice noise) (.wmv) 3MB NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK now on M62 (Saddleworth Moor) After 1-year on the A1, I decided to move my rocket South. So I chose Saddleworth Moor on Lancashire/Yorkshire border, where the mist lies on the hills and my truck will look evil as slowly it is revealed as the clouds lift. Also M62 is one of the busiest motorways in Western Europe. NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on A1(M) (old location, Sedgefield) NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK in VIZ! (Viz is adult comic) My rocket truck has been featured in loads of press and TV and radio articles. One of my favourites is the nuclear truck in Viz magazine. Building a nuclear missile truck can be good for your bank balance! NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK BUILD DIARY Spec: 7.0 V8 petrol, 150bhp, 7 tonne, 6x6, Russian built Zil 131, ex-People's Liberation Army - Ling This is truck as arrived UK (below). Superhusband Jon begins project. We need to make missile for top. Then advertise on side of A1 motorway near Darlington. Update 26th May; Truck arrives from Shanghai on ship. OOOoooops! Radiator blown. Replacement on way. I have made husband Jon take out old radiator wait for new one. 6m (20') Missile body built by superhusband, need skin, lifting on truck with Hiab (??? what is this?) and applying signwriting. Husband says he will suprise me with signwriting. Hmmm. Update 28th May; Wah! I found out this originally NUCLEAR DECONTAMINATION TRUCK!!! My God! Maybe based in Lop Nor? No problem... Chinese Government say "radiation dose good for you". Proved by exploding many nuclear bombs in China, still 1.3bn people alive. Will truck glow in dark on side of A1 road? Aha! I find out by home science test. Did you know I have BSc in Organic Chemistry and also MSc? I not stupid! Here is how I test radiation... 1) Breaking egg of chicken on truck mudguard. 2) Egg not cook so Alpha levels OK. 3) Chicken with 3 legs not grow so Gamma levels OK. 4) Truck OK, not hot despite nuclear decon use. Most people too stupid to apply common sense solutions. Update 30th May; Many people email and call me to ask how superhusband Jon is building a giant nuclear rocket. Well, here it is, above. He used some 600mm water pipe, and put 8 lengths of the floor support wood (150mm x 50mm x 6000mm) around it. Now he has attached small wings. He has painted them white (all rockets are white, it is rule). Now he needs to put skin on, and rocket will be 900mm (3 English feet) in diameter. He will use the plastic boards that the estate agent uses when selling house, but in big sheets. Add pointing nose with red end. Then writing, then lift to truck. Easy (he says!). Big and silly, but why not go a little crazzzy sometimes? Who else do this? Update 5th June; Now skin is on most of missile. You can see how it will look. Red nose, maybe white nose - I can't decide yet... (about 5 feet long) is still to attach and then rocket will be lifted onto Ling truck. After this, signwriting will apply. These step by step instructions for building ICBM missile should not be copied by stupid children. Can you see how it will look now???? Picture below give you some idea of size, compared to old Volvo car. Big, huh? And looks quite perfect and real thanks to superhusband Jon. I put signwriting on with PaintShop so you can see how finished rocket might look. Just imagine this pointing up at about 15 degree angle on top of truck! Mr Mao would be damn proud of me (except he's dead). I tell Jon, truck should always park pointing West towards America. He says South East towards France. Hehehe. Wah! (PMH Contracts my old business name) Finally, below, you can see the truck and the rocket skeleton together. This gives you good impression of how big is this job. Picture is actual blueprint Jon used to measure up. He took pic several times to make sure missile fits on truck, during build. This is last pic before truck moved to fit new radiator. Also, Jon takes off spare wheel and makes frame to support missile so it goes over truck cab. Certainly better than NASA space shuttle effort, and so far cost is just £200 + Truck. Maybe another £200 for signwriting. I not waste money! This damn cheap advert, will get in all newspapers, maybe TV, and sit at side of A1 road, everyone will see! It just shows that nothing impossible!!! - Ling Update 8th June; Radiator mended. Truck road tested. Building missile frame tomorrow. Good. Update 14th June; Missile on truck!!! LOOK! LOOK! Now looking something like finished thing. I re-colour grey sky as missile difficult to see edge otherwise. Do you like Chinese writing? It says "Ling's truck". What a difference white wheel rims make. Maybe you should try on contract hire car. Trucks on parade through Tiananmen Square ALWAYS have these white wheels! Cue music! Listen and imagine!!! See pic below for accurate reference to prove my claim! I am so disappointed stupid English British vehicle and driving licence regulations mean that I cannot drive 8-wheel nuclear missile truck in UK without HGV licence! But 6x6 will do. I can drive Zil on car licence. Beats poncy X5, Porcshe Cayenne, Mercedes ML and actually shoves rocket up Germans' ass. Who else has 7.0 V8 toy? Anyone wanna come play off road or tug of war? Hehehe. My truck signwriting to come soon! Truck is parked just over River Tyne from BAE Systems Alvis-Vickers tank factory. Husband says he will take truck to factory and ask MD if he wants to come out to play with big toys (maybe not try tug of war with Challenger - ooops). Maybe get nice pics. Wah! Needs signwriting first! ...and here is truck FINISHED! ...with me sitting on it, just in case you missed me perched up there! - Ling Nuclear missile truck idea copyright LINGsCARS.com 2005

CLICK! See 207 clients live in LINGO! CLICK to VIEW! Online Service Response Times Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery   45 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL' ...LING REPLIES IN:   HRS : MINUTES sec     162 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER' ...LING REPLIES IN:   HRS : MINUTES sec   Customers use my secure LINGO management system. Response times above based on last 4 hour period between 9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri -Ling No Waiting   MINI BLOG   I am GAY ICON! WoW! Posted: 04/02/10 Comments ( 1 ) How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Posted: 04/03/10 Comments ( 0 ) Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE I am the Viz UK business ambassador! Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum! Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly! ...so, you know who I am - Ling THE UK's FAVOURITE CAR LEASING WEBSITE! Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD LING World Headquarters Vance Business Park Gateshead, NE11 9NE Tel 0191 460 9444 Fax 0870 486 1130 sales@LINGsCARS.com I prefer email to phone - Ling VAT No: 866 0241 30 Co Reg No: 6178634 Consumer Credit Licence: 624022 Data Protection No: Z1098490 Best Before: 17/08/2007   Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH! LATEST: Nicklas Bendtner's late goal takes Arsenal level with Chelsea at top of table via win at 10-man Hull. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 19:30 LATEST: Two men in their 20s charged with possession of explosives after old bill bobbys operation against suspected dissident republicans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 19:06 Province of Engrish running-dogs retain Calcutta Cup as they fight out 15-15 draw with ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, who now look certain to end with Six Nations wooden spoon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:54 At least 30 human bliengs having been killed in series of suspected suicide bombings in Afghan city of Kandahar, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 18:34 About 500 volunteers holding flaming torches illuminating Hadrian's Wall from coast to coast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 18:29 Partial results for Iraq's elections show PM Nouri Maliki's coalition ahead in crucial area of Baghdad, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:46 Burglars break into home of French Resistance heroine Andree Peel, lah, who died last week at age of 105. - news replorted 17:30 The Lib Dems would not support government which proposes major spending cuts within next year, lah, leader Nick Clegg says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:14 Kate Garraway, lah, Katy Brand and Debra Stephenson take part in final of celebrity competition Let's Dance in aid of Sports Relief. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 16:44 Two tries by Keith Earls and one from Tomas O'Leary see autonomous province of Guinness drinkers beat Welsh land of sheep and more sheep 27-12 in RBS Six Nations at Croke Park. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 16:22 The Afghan president agrees to let two foreigners sit on key election monitoring body, lah, reversing previous decision. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:22 A man and woman having died in fire in caravan park in Dunbartonshire, lah, Strathclyde old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:41 The age of criminal responsibility will stay at 10, lah, government says, lah, after senior adviser for Province of Engrish running-dogs calls for it to be raised. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:39 Two human bliengs escape injury after shot is fired at window of house in Caulside Park area of Antrim on Friday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:32 About 1,000 human bliengs having joined anti-nuclear protest in Edinburgh calling for scrapping of Trident. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:17 Robbie Keane fires hat-trick as Celtic beat Kilmarnock on busy day of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Cup and Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Premier League action. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:03 ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land host Province of Engrish running-dogs in Calcutta Cup on penultimate weekend of Six Nations rugby, lah, after autonomous province of Guinness drinkers stay on course for Triple Crown with 27-12 win over Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:46 A 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy found dead at house in Surrey died from single gunshot wound to head, lah, post-mortem tests reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:45 Britain's pentathlete Jessica Ennis and sprinter Dwain Chambers crowned champions at World Indoors in Doha. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:34 old bill bobbys launch murder investigation after 46-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man was found dead at male gender human bleing's home in Rhondda Cynon Taf. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 13:16 A Nigerian plane taking part in simulation exercise for disaster relief operations crashes in southern oil city of Port Harcourt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:03 Province of Engrish running-dogs batsman Paul Collingwood pays tribute to Graeme Swann after spinner claimes wicket in male gender human bleing's first over for 12th clock time result for Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:45 Hundreds of human bliengs join rally in memory of three asylum seekers who apparently jumped to their deaths from flats in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 12:34 Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel starts first Formula 1 race of 2010 from pole position after edging Ferraris in Bahrain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:25 The EU is putting finishing touches to multi-billion euro bail-out for Greece after weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of crisis, lah, senior officials tell BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 12:07 Arsenal take on Hull in Saturday's late Premier League game after Chelsea return to top of table with thumping victory over West Ham, lah, and there wins for Tottenham, lah, Wolves and Bolton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:59 The postal watchdog is considering taking action against Royal Mail after finding that delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so quality tests were rigged. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:43 An 18-earth-years old happy birthday to you, appears in court charged with harassment of man who collapsed in garden of male gender human bleing's Greater Manchester home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:35 A man is charged with dangerous driving following crash which derailed train in Suffolk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:21 Staying safe in Haiti while keeping up appearances - news replorted 11:18 Formula One legend Sir Stirling Moss I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs male gender human bleing's well-wishers after bloody man fell down lift shaft at home and broke both ankles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:57 Actor Corey Haim's death is being linked to major drug ring which is illegally obtaining prescription drugs, lah, Great Satan old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:39 The new mass movement against Italy's Berlusconi - news replorted 10:29 Pop star Mark Owen checks into rehab after admitting to drink problem and cheating on male gender human bleing's partner, lah, spokesman confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05 Samantha Cameron speaks publicly for first clock time result of flemale human person's relationship with Conservative leader. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:59 Two teenagers arrested by old bill bobbys hunting killer of man stabbed to death after chasing handbag-snatchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:54 The age of criminal responsibility should be raised from 10 to 12, lah, says Province of Engrish running-dogs's children's commissioner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! your as really velly special customer's views? - news replorted 09:49 old bill bobbys in Irish Republic release three of seven Muslims arrested over alleged plot to murder Swedish cartoonist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:25 A suicide bomber in rickshaw kills at least 10 human bliengs in Pakistan, lah, day after twin blasts leave dozens dead in Lahore. - news replorted 08:58 Too many human bliengs in Province of Engrish running-dogs receiving poor quality out-of-hours doctors services, lah, Patients Association says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:51 The Bahrain GP will be unlike any you've seen - news replorted 08:47 Can two Korean families cope without web? - news replorted 08:33 Thousands of Thai opposition supporters converge on capital, lah, Bangkok, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, to press their demands for elections. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:19 The first qualifying session of new season takes place in Bahrain after Ferrari's Fernando Alonso sets fastest clock time result in final practice. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:36 Britain's Elena Baltacha reaches third round in Indian Wells with impressive win over Super-Duper-Chinese-State seventh seed Na Li. - news replorted 06:29 Prosecutors in California suing Toyota, lah, claiming carmaker sold hundreds of thousands of vehicling driving car machines it knew had defects. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:15 An inquiry finds "widespread evidence" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) that agency and migrant meat plant workers abused and exploited. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:55 Front pages reflect on report into Lehman Brothers - news replorted 05:30 UN wildlife negotiations begin on banning trade in bluefin tuna and permitting sales of ivory at two-week summit in Doha. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:17 funny shape ball-game fans travelling to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land v Province of Engrish running-dogs match should not be affected by rail strike, lah, First ScotRail says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:12 Nasa Moon astronauts condemn President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's decision to cancel Great Satan lunar programme as "catastrophic". - news replorted 03:34 Tamim Iqbal and Mahmudullah both score fifties as Bangladesh replying like hell to Province of Engrish running-dogs's 599-6 declared on day two of first Test. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:55 Weekend polls may loosen Sarkozy grip on Elysee Palace - news replorted 02:12 Wolves in Alaska suspected of killing woman jogger in what would be first such attack in Great Satan in half century. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:56 Children's strange misconceptions about science revealed in science knowledge quiz. - news replorted 00:10 Obese women drinking little more than glass of wine day having double risk of liver disease, lah, experts warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:09 New York's 9/11 dust victims split on compensation deal - news replorted 00:04 Ford Ka & a cat! Funny car leasing TV ads! PLAY: Hang a Car Dealer! CLICK HERE! Read my customer letters! Click on your own NAME and read letters from customers called the same name ...hehe! 'Bas Aaron Adam Adele Adnan Ahmed Aidan Alan Alastair Aldo Alex Alexander Alexandra Alison Allan Allen Alyson Amanda Andrea Andres Andrew Andy Angela Angie Anish Ann Anne Annette Ant Anthony Antonia Antonio Antony Ashita Ashley Asif Assim Babs Barry Ben Beryl Bill Bob Brad Brenda Brian Bruno Bryan Carl Carmel Carol Caroline Carolyn Caron Cath Catherine Catriona Ceri Ceserian Charles Cheung Chief Chris Christian Christie Christine Christopher Cindy Clair Claire Clare Clive Colin Competitors Craig Cressida Daina Dale Dan Daniel Danny Daren Darrell Darren Darryll Dave David Dawn Dayn Dean Debora Deborah Debra Denis Denise Dennis Denny Derek Derrick Diana Diane Dianne Digger Dion Dominic Donna Douglas Dr Edna Edward Eileen Elaine Elizabeth Emma Emma-Jayne Eric Eva Felicity Fiona Frances Frank Fraser Ganesh Gareth Gary Gavin Gayle Ged Gemma Geoff Geoffrey George Gerald Gerard German Gerrard Gilbert Gill Gillian Giloria Gladys Glen Glyn Glynn Gordon Graeme Grahaeme Graham Grahame Grant Gregg Gregory Gulen Gunnel Gurmail Gurpreet Gus Gwendoline Harold Haroon Harry Hayley Heather Helen Helena Howard Huw Iain Ian Iqbal Irene Isobel Ivor Jack Jacqueline Jake James Jamie Jane Janet January Jason Jayne Jeff Jeffrey Jennifer Jens-Ulrich Jensen Jill Jim Jo Joanne Jody Johan John Jon Jonathan Jonathon Jude Judith Judy Julian Julie Justin Justyn Kabir Kairen Karen Karl Kate Katherine Kathryn Katie Kay Keith Ken Kenneth Kerrie Kerry Kevan Kevin Kimberley Laura Lauren Laurie Leah Leanne Lee Leigh Leighton Leo Les Lesley-Jane Leslie Lewis Lillian Linda Lindsay Lisa Liz Lon Lori Louisa Louise Lucy Luigi Lynette Lynne Malcolm Mandy Manojkumar Marc Marcel Marcus Marie Marjorie Mark Martha Martin Martyn Mathew Matt Matthew Maura Maureen Maurice Maxine Melanie Michael Micheal Michele Michelle Mick Mike Miles Mitul Mohammed Muhammed Name Natalie Nathan Nebiye Neil Neill Nicholas Nick Nicola Nigel Nina Noel Noeleen Norwin Oliver Omar Pamela Paramdeep Patricia Patrick Paul Paula Pauline Pearl Penelope Perry Pete Peter Phil Philip Phyllis Piers Pravesh Prem Quentin Rachael Rachel Rae Rajendra Rajiv Ralph Ray Raymond Rebecca Rev Reverend Richard Ricky Rob Robb Robert Robin Roderick Roger Roland Rollo Ron Rose Ross Roy Russell Ruth Sahem Salim Sally Sam Samantha Samuel Sandeep Sandra Sara Sara-Jane Sarah Satnam Scott Seamus Sean Sebastien Selina Selvin Sharon Shaun Sheila Simon Sonia Stanley Stefano Stephen Steve Steven Stewart Stuart Sue Sukhjeet Susan Suzanne Tamar Tanya Terry Tesan Thaneswary Thomas Tim Timothy Tina Toby Tom Tony Tracey Tracy Trevor Umit Vanessa Vernon Victoria Vikki Vince Vivien Vivienne Wac Wade Walter Warwick Wayne William Yvonne Zaid LINGsCARS is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! - Ling Audi S4 & a dog! Funny car leasing TV ads! Who is Jeremy Clarkson? I exterminate! I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed. Who needs Top Gear when you have Chop Gear? Hahaha! PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS! GET A QUOTE! Can't find a car? Want extras? Please don't ring with quote requests! I'm damn busy! Click QUOTE! - Ling NEW FEATURE "There is no free lunch" - YES THERE IS! I bring you free lunch. Nowhere else give you this offer! Click here - Ling Crash tests! I take the trouble to show every crash test for my new cars, in the interests of customer health and safety! Click HERE - Ling PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS! I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's make-by-make! See the sales stats the car industry hides! Citroen 2CV dance! Funny car leasing TV ads! FIAT Panda baby! Funny car leasing TV ads! I now lease HARLEY-DAVIDSON superbikes! Motorbike leasing from just £127/mth for a Harley Sportster! Mercedes GL Class! Funny car leasing TV ads! JUST FOR FUN! I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling Read my customer letters! Choose your nearest CITY or AREA and read letters from customers close to you! 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Road Safety! Funny car leasing TV ads! Get a Trunk Monkey! Funny car leasing TV ads! PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS! I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's make-by-make! See the sales stats the car industry hides! Rude Radio! Funny car leasing TV ads!