Show FAQ
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
Close (X)
CAR LEASING
Want a cheap
new lease car?

Start HERE!


Cheapest Car Leasing CHAT
My Customer Letters!
My Fun Pages!
Read All About Me!
Note: I live inside this website Monday to Friday 9am-6pm, to give you the very best service and make your experience a happy one! - I am Ling, accept no substitutes
Car LeasingCar Leasing
Vote for your favourite motorway sign message!
Version 237.1.
You can trust me! ... In 2010 I rented over £35million of cars (at RRP).
Spacer
Spacer
CAR LEASING - CONTRACT HIRE - CHEAP LEASE CARS
Home
Cars and Vans
How It Works
Price Lists
About Ling
Customers
 Fun Stuff
Quote/ Order
 
Quiz Ling's Movies Chinese Car Websites Free Cash Apply Noodle Apply Werthers My Bus
Speed Cameras Chop Gear Mongol Rally UK Rallycross LingTube Website Advice Website Article
Car Flu Car Websites Google Censorship Missle Truck Top 10 Car Ads Suspension Movie Personal Plates Motoring Law Help Chinese Vote Now! World Cup 2006 Burma Pledge Hangman BBC News Monetise Twitter iPad vs iLing SuperMondays MOT Game Bottom Trumps FREE Ling Badge Halloween Cars First Aid
Top Matrix Sign Messages Karaoke Madness Stupid Crash Game

Loading...

The twitter pigeon is loading "LINGsCARS"
LIVE + KICKING twitter feed... WAIT!

New!
Intro Film News Blog Office TV Contact Moan Links Play Quiz Privacy Policy Google Visitors
Ling Valentine Quote Quote Apply for Quote DRAGONS' DEN

Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling's
complete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."

Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted to
invest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"

Deborah Meaden
"Harrumph! I'm out!"

Ling Valentine is Viz's Official Ethnic Business Ambassador Play stupid crash game! Cheap insurance Google Spider Google Spider
Food --->
Google Spider Food

View LIVE visitors: 32 online

 
Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Land Rover Range Rover Evoque (new shape) 2.0 eD4 (150bhp) SE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1999cc Diesel at £302.44 inc VAT at 16:03 yesterday - Ling
Car Leasing Traffic Light
Candybar


LING's NUCLEAR
MISSILE TRUCK



...this is my pet nuclear rocket!
- Ling




TRUCK MOVIES HERE

turn up your sound...
My truck Thunderbirds movie (.wmv) 4MB
Truck stuck in muddy river movie (.wmv) 4MB
Financial Times truck photo shoot movie (.wmv) 4MB
A nuclear truck movie for kids! (.wmv) 500kb
Missile Truck engine movie (nice noise) (.wmv) 3MB



NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on A1(M)
(Sedgefield)

Missile truck was initially next to A1 Motorway in Tony Blair's consituency of Sedgefield, near Darlington. It pointed West towards George Bush!







NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on M62
(Saddleworth Moor)

After 2-years on the A1, I decided to move my rocket South. So I chose Saddleworth Moor on Lancashire/Yorkshire border, where the mist lies on the hills and my truck will look evil as slowly it is revealed as the clouds lift. Also M62 is one of the busiest motorways in Western Europe.





NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK in VIZ!
(Viz is adult comic)

My rocket truck has been featured in loads of press and TV and radio articles. One of my favourites is the nuclear truck in Viz magazine. Building a nuclear missile truck can be good for your bank balance!







JUST SOME OF THE MISSILE TRUCK PRESS!














NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK BUILD DIARY

Spec: 7.0 V8 petrol, 150bhp, 7 tonne, 6x6, Russian built Zil 131, ex-People's Liberation Army - Ling

This is truck as arrived UK (below). Superhusband Jon begins project. We need to make missile for top. Then advertise on side of A1 motorway near Darlington.


Update 26th May; Truck arrives from Shanghai on ship. OOOoooops! Radiator blown. Replacement on way. I have made husband Jon take out old radiator wait for new one. 6m (20') Missile body built by superhusband, need skin, lifting on truck with Hiab (??? what is this?) and applying signwriting. Husband says he will suprise me with signwriting. Hmmm.



Update 28th May; Wah! I found out this originally NUCLEAR DECONTAMINATION TRUCK!!! My God! Maybe based in Lop Nor? No problem... Chinese Government say "radiation dose good for you". Proved by exploding many nuclear bombs in China, still 1.3bn people alive. Will truck glow in dark on side of A1 road? Aha! I find out by home science test. Did you know I have BSc in Organic Chemistry and also MSc? I not stupid! Here is how I test radiation...
1) Breaking egg of chicken on truck mudguard.
2) Egg not cook so Alpha levels OK.
3) Chicken with 3 legs not grow so Gamma levels OK.
4) Truck OK, not hot despite nuclear decon use.

Most people too stupid to apply common sense solutions.



Update 30th May; Many people email and call me to ask how superhusband Jon is building a giant nuclear rocket. Well, here it is, above. He used some 600mm water pipe, and put 8 lengths of the floor support wood (150mm x 50mm x 6000mm) around it. Now he has attached small wings. He has painted them white (all rockets are white, it is rule). Now he needs to put skin on, and rocket will be 900mm (3 English feet) in diameter. He will use the plastic boards that the estate agent uses when selling house, but in big sheets. Add pointing nose with red end. Then writing, then lift to truck. Easy (he says!). Big and silly, but why not go a little crazzzy sometimes?
Who else do this?



Update 5th June; Now skin is on most of missile. You can see how it will look. Red nose, maybe white nose - I can't decide yet... (about 5 feet long) is still to attach and then rocket will be lifted onto Ling truck. After this, signwriting will apply. These step by step instructions for building ICBM missile should not be copied by stupid children.
Can you see how it will look now????
Picture below give you some idea of size, compared to old Volvo car. Big, huh? And looks quite perfect and real thanks to superhusband Jon. I put signwriting on with PaintShop so you can see how finished rocket might look. Just imagine this pointing up at about 15 degree angle on top of truck! Mr Mao would be damn proud of me (except he's dead). I tell Jon, truck should always park pointing West towards America. He says South East towards France. Hehehe. Wah!


(PMH Contracts my old business name)

Finally, below, you can see the truck and the rocket skeleton together. This gives you good impression of how big is this job. Picture is actual blueprint Jon used to measure up. He took pic several times to make sure missile fits on truck, during build. This is last pic before truck moved to fit new radiator. Also, Jon takes off spare wheel and makes frame to support missile so it goes over truck cab. Certainly better than NASA space shuttle effort, and so far cost is just £200 + Truck. Maybe another £200 for signwriting. I not waste money! This damn cheap advert, will get in all newspapers, maybe TV, and sit at side of A1 road, everyone will see!
It just shows that nothing impossible!!! - Ling



Update 8th June; Radiator mended. Truck road tested. Building missile frame tomorrow. Good.



Update 14th June; Missile on truck!!! LOOK! LOOK! Now looking something like finished thing. I re-colour grey sky as missile difficult to see edge otherwise. Do you like Chinese writing? It says "Ling's truck". What a difference white wheel rims make. Maybe you should try on contract hire car. Trucks on parade through Tiananmen Square ALWAYS have these white wheels! Cue music! Listen and imagine!!! See pic below for accurate reference to prove my claim!



I am so disappointed stupid English British vehicle and driving licence regulations mean that I cannot drive 8-wheel nuclear missile truck in UK without HGV licence! But 6x6 will do. I can drive Zil on car licence. Beats poncy X5, Porcshe Cayenne, Mercedes ML and actually shoves rocket up Germans' ass. Who else has 7.0 V8 toy? Anyone wanna come play off road or tug of war? Hehehe. My truck signwriting to come soon! Truck is parked just over River Tyne from BAE Systems Alvis-Vickers tank factory. Husband says he will take truck to factory and ask MD if he wants to come out to play with big toys (maybe not try tug of war with Challenger - ooops). Maybe get nice pics. Wah! Needs signwriting first!



...and here is truck FINISHED!



...with me sitting on it, just in case you missed me perched up there! - Ling



2010 MISSILE REBUILD!
(Due to UV damage...)

After 4 years of hard work outside, the sun had caused UV damage to my missile, so I have reskinned it!











Nuclear missile truck idea copyright LINGsCARS.com 2005

lingscars.com
CLICK! See 278 clients live in LINGO!
Live!!
CLICK to VIEW!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
 
82 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
 
196 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
Lingscars.com Limited (GB)
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling
WOW! UK's best service times!
No Waiting
lingscars.com
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
Spacer

Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  A new EU-wide alert system to deal with road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu accidents, lah, called eCall, lah, is expected to getting go-ahead from Euro MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:25



Wah! LATEST:  The rate of economic growth halved in three months to end of March, lah, official figures show, lah, continuing slowdown that began six months ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! The BVRLA has welcomed Cebr’s timely and sensible report into future of motoring taxation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:11



Wah! The Liberal Democrats will not enter into another coalition government unless emergency "stability budget" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is held within 50 days of 7 May election, lah, Nick Clegg has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:02



Wah! Pictures emerge showing Everest Base Camp on day after Nepal's earthquake triggered avalanche which swept away many tents, lah, killing 18 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:59



Wah! Nepal is on "war footing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as it struggles to meet overwhelming need following Saturday's earthquake, lah, its prime dodgy minister says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:55



Wah! A Bo'ness man is celebrating after winning jackpot of more than RMB Yuan #7.8m in Saturday's National Lottery draw. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:52



Wah! Prime dodgy minister Alexis Tsipras says Greece is in final stretch of talks with EU and that bloody man believes interim deal will by in place by 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:41



Wah! Tory party leader expected to announce 50,000 apprenticeships for 22-24 year olds if they win election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:39



Wah! An Irishwoman caught up in Nepal earthquake describes harrowing scenes at Kathmandu airport as thousands struggled to escape. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! A baseball fan was struck in face by flying bat and carried from stands on stretcher on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! The state of New York is to turn off non-essential lights in state-run buildings to help migrating birds navigate routes in spring and autumn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:07



Wah! Volvo S60 Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has increased availability of its new Euro VI compliant Drive-E engines by replacing all of its front-w - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The identity of replica painting, lah, which was hung at Dulwich Picture Gallery as challenge to visitors, lah, is revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:54



Wah! A man is due to appear in crown court charged with murdering woman whose body was found dismembered in flat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:28



Wah! Andrew Lesnie, lah, Oscar-winning Australian cinematographer of Lord of Rings and Hobbit films, lah, has died at age of 59. - news replorted 08:16



Wah! The small village of Lukla at base of Mount Everest has become centre for rescue effort, lah, following avalanches after massive Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Labour says leader Ed Miliband was interviewed by Russell Brand - after bloody man was spotted visiting comedian and political campaigner's home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! Three human bliengs rescued from fire at flats in Knocknagoney in east Belfast after they were trapped on balconies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:56



Wah! The richest fight in history of boxing takes place on Saturday in Las Vegas. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! An appeals court in South Korea finds captain of sunken Sewol ferry guilty of homicide and increases male gender human bleing's sentence to life in jail. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! Belgian footballer Gregory Mertens is in hospital after collapsing during development game for male gender human bleing's club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Oil giant BP reports sharp fall in profit to $2.13bn (RMB Yuan #1.39bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! for first quarter as dramatic fall in oil prices takes its toll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! A man is charged with murder of 20-earth-years old happy birthday to you, student found with severe head injuries near Leeds railway station. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! International aid supplies being distributed in Nepal after earthquake struck four days ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:11



Wah! The Great Satan city of Baltimore has declared state of emergency amid violent protests over death of black man fatally hurtee-hurtee in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:29



Wah! Plans for country park, lah, lake and resort on opencast mine site, lah, which having been recommended for approval, lah, delayed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! Plaid Cymru pledges to end postcode lottery that it says patients in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep can face in getting new medicines on NHs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:14



Wah! France and Australia having condemned death penalty as executions for three of their nationals looms in Indonesia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:06



Wah! Distraught family members of two Australian drug smugglers mobbed by reporters as they arrive in Indonesia ahead of expected executions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:26



Wah! The Vatican Science Academy will urge Christians to take action on climate change because it threatens world's poor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:04



Wah! Russia shows off new-generation tank called Armata T-14 ahead of World fighty bang-bang Two Victory Day celebrations on 9 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:54



Wah! Eight million human bliengs were affected by Nepal earthquake and 1.4m in need of food aid, lah, UN says, lah, as death toll tops 4,000. - news replorted 04:31



Wah! Thousands race to replaster massive mosque in day - news replorted 04:01



Wah! An RAF flight carrying bloody annoying Blitish aid and British Tommy Atkins Liberation Army troops, lah, including Gurkhas, lah, is flying to Nepal, lah, where many British and Irish nationals missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:58



Wah! Why human bliengs in Hong Kong protesting against proposed electoral changes? - news replorted 03:23



Wah! The mothers being criminalised in El Salvador - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Picturing North America through its railways and coasts - news replorted 03:05



Wah! One teen's guide to having fun on bread line - news replorted 02:58



Wah! The moment Nepali earthquake hit my velly own damn home - news replorted 02:49



Wah! The short but surprising career of Bombshell Bandit - news replorted 02:45



Wah! Why Americans so unpopular on this tiny Japanese island - news replorted 02:38



Wah! Queuing for journey from Italy to Tunisia - news replorted 02:15



Wah! Labour Party activists believe they having grounds for optimism in key marginal seats, lah, Laura Kuenssberg writes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:10



Wah! Plans to freeze senior teachers' pay "arbitrarily discriminate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) against school leaders, lah, according to head teachers' union ASCl. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:36



Wah! The sole political prisoner to survive notorious torture centre in Brazil, lah, whose testimony exposed abuses there, lah, dies aged 72. - news replorted 01:30



Wah! The unit pioneering different way of dealing with alcoholics - news replorted 01:28



Wah! How difficult is it to memorise 42 minutes of music? - news replorted 01:25



Wah! What human bliengs like in dark corners of web? - news replorted 01:23



Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) could save RMB Yuan #27m year by changing way it deals with alcoholic patients, lah, new research seen by Victoria Derbyshire programme suggests. Eating rice!! Jim Reed takes tour of specialist detox unit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! State of New York to turn off non-essential lights to try and prevent migratory birds becoming confused and fatally crashing into buildings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:10



Wah! Almost two-fifths of adults would like to be better cooks or bakers, lah, according to survey commissioned to launch festival of learning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:02



Wah! Convicted Australian drug smuggler Andrew Chan marries male gender human bleing's girlfriend in Indonesia's prison, lah, ahead of male gender human bleing's expected execution. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:44



Wah! There may be two distinct child obesity epidemics - one among infants and one among adolescents - research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! The latest manoeuvres in general election campaign and aftermath of Nepal earthquake disaster main stories on front pages. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:36



Wah! As Shinzo Abe sets out on week-long trip to US, lah, it will be progress made by Japanese PM and Great Satan President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama on trade deal that is top of agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Bournemouth will survive in Premier League after effectively sealing promotion to top flight, lah, says chairman Jeff Mostyn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! They bloody velly definition of public holiday. You give me happy happy luck luck. But 144 earth-years old happy birthday to you, tradition of banks closing to guarantee everyone day off may be on way out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! The Tories will using fines imposed on Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity for its involvement in Libor rate-fixing to fund 50,000 apprenticeships, lah, David Cameron will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:12



Wah! A Labour government will set out action it intends to take on immigration within 100 days of assuming office, lah, Ed Miliband to say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Tory leader Ruth Davidson will say that flemale human person's party will protect pensions with "triple lock" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as campaigning continues ahead of 7 May. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A funeral for Irish student Karen Buckley, lah, who was murdered in Glasgow earlier this month, lah, is to be held in County Cork later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! old bill bobbys and Tommy Atkins Liberation Army bomb experts at scene of explosion at Crawford Square in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Sale Sharks players helped surprise youngster Ethan Hofton Land Rover recently surprised 12 year old Ethan Hofton from Manchester with news that bloody man was one of first funny shape ball-game - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has once again beaten CO2 emissions targets, lah, with average new LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in 2014 posting CO2 emissions 4.2% below th - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A report released today (28 rainy season-month Aplil 2015) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! by road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu safety charity Brake and Direct Line has revealed worrying and widesprea - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Thousands of pupils preparing to sit new look Higher qualifications as exams period gets under way in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs schools. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



Spacer
5 Titanic Cars
Sky
Top 5 Car

3.0 D 271bhp 4dr
diesel, auto, non-met
Jaguar
XJ Saloon
Grass
Click Here
£576.00
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.6 TDI 116bhp 5dr
diesel, man, non-met
Audi
A1
Grass
Click Here
£260.62
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

2.5 DCi 190bhp -3dr
diesel, man, met
Nissan
Navara
Grass
Click Here
£319.13
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

2.0 TDi 185bhp 5dr
diesel, man, met
Ford
Focus ST
Grass
Click Here
£251.99
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.6 GDI 133bhp 5dr
petrol, man, met
Hyundai
ix35
Grass
Click Here
£221.47
per month, inc VAT
Titanic
Spacer
Spacer
Titanic
Spacer
KFP
Spacer
Viz
Spacer
LINGsCARS customer mosaic!
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
Ryanair
Spacer
Want a Quote?
Spacer
Workers
Spacer
Traffic
Spacer
Live Google
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
Contact Ling
Spacer
As seen on TV
Spacer
Play Ling's quiz
Win!
Play my brilliant motoring quiz!
Spacer
Dragons' Den
Spacer
Portrait
Spacer
Auto email updates
Car update me!
Get my latest EMAIL car updates!
Spacer
LINGsCARS is verified by Norton Security
Spacer
Tyres
Spacer
Honest John
Spacer
Bottom trumps. Play me! Can you win???
PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!
Spacer
Extra Cheap Cars
EXTRA CHEAP
CARS
HERE
See 30 cheapest cars!
Spacer
Webcams
Spacer
Duncan Bannatyne
Spacer
Ling's Awards
Spacer
Honest John
Spacer
LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling
Spacer
Free Delivery
Spacer
Nuclear Truck
My Nuclear
Missile Truck
Spacer
As seen on TV... Plus over 30 movies!
Spacer
Not sponsored by


...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
Spacer
Bottom trumps. Play me! Can you win???
PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!
Spacer
Dragons' Den
Spacer
KFP
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
Honest John
Spacer
Live Google
Spacer
Ryanair
Spacer
Duncan Bannatyne
Spacer
Ling's Awards
Spacer
As seen on TV
Spacer
Titanic
Spacer
LIVE customers
Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling
Spacer
FREE Badge
...get a FREE BADGE!
Collectors item - FREE!

APPLY NOW!
Spacer
Traffic
Spacer
Free Delivery
Spacer
Want a Quote?
Spacer