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Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
I expose ILLEGAL and MISLEADING contract hire and leasing websites! Why are you being tricked? - Ling
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I reveal CHEATING LOW LEASING PRICES from other car leasing companies! Why they do THIS? - Ling
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UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Citroen DS3 1.6 THP 16v (150bhp) DSport Hatchback 3dr 1598cc Petrol at £322.90 inc VAT at 14:43 on 11th Mar - Ling

LINGS GUIDED MISSILE TRUCK FOR LEASE






LING's NUCLEAR
MISSILE TRUCK



TRUCK MOVIES HERE
turn up your sound...
My truck Thunderbirds movie (.wmv) 4MB
Truck stuck in muddy river movie (.wmv) 4MB
Financial Times truck photo shoot movie (.wmv) 4MB
A nuclear truck movie for kids! (.wmv) 500kb
Missile Truck engine movie (nice noise) (.wmv) 3MB


NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK now on M62
(Saddleworth Moor)



After 1-year on the A1, I decided to move my rocket South. So I chose Saddleworth Moor on Lancashire/Yorkshire border, where the mist lies on the hills and my truck will look evil as slowly it is revealed as the clouds lift. Also M62 is one of the busiest motorways in Western Europe.

NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK on A1(M)
(old location, Sedgefield)







NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK in VIZ!
(Viz is adult comic)



My rocket truck has been featured in loads of press and TV and radio articles. One of my favourites is the nuclear truck in Viz magazine. Building a nuclear missile truck can be good for your bank balance!

NUCLEAR MISSILE TRUCK BUILD DIARY

Spec: 7.0 V8 petrol, 150bhp, 7 tonne, 6x6, Russian built Zil 131, ex-People's Liberation Army - Ling

This is truck as arrived UK (below). Superhusband Jon begins project. We need to make missile for top. Then advertise on side of A1 motorway near Darlington.


Update 26th May; Truck arrives from Shanghai on ship. OOOoooops! Radiator blown. Replacement on way. I have made husband Jon take out old radiator wait for new one. 6m (20') Missile body built by superhusband, need skin, lifting on truck with Hiab (??? what is this?) and applying signwriting. Husband says he will suprise me with signwriting. Hmmm.



Update 28th May; Wah! I found out this originally NUCLEAR DECONTAMINATION TRUCK!!! My God! Maybe based in Lop Nor? No problem... Chinese Government say "radiation dose good for you". Proved by exploding many nuclear bombs in China, still 1.3bn people alive. Will truck glow in dark on side of A1 road? Aha! I find out by home science test. Did you know I have BSc in Organic Chemistry and also MSc? I not stupid! Here is how I test radiation...
1) Breaking egg of chicken on truck mudguard.
2) Egg not cook so Alpha levels OK.
3) Chicken with 3 legs not grow so Gamma levels OK.
4) Truck OK, not hot despite nuclear decon use.

Most people too stupid to apply common sense solutions.



Update 30th May; Many people email and call me to ask how superhusband Jon is building a giant nuclear rocket. Well, here it is, above. He used some 600mm water pipe, and put 8 lengths of the floor support wood (150mm x 50mm x 6000mm) around it. Now he has attached small wings. He has painted them white (all rockets are white, it is rule). Now he needs to put skin on, and rocket will be 900mm (3 English feet) in diameter. He will use the plastic boards that the estate agent uses when selling house, but in big sheets. Add pointing nose with red end. Then writing, then lift to truck. Easy (he says!). Big and silly, but why not go a little crazzzy sometimes?
Who else do this?



Update 5th June; Now skin is on most of missile. You can see how it will look. Red nose, maybe white nose - I can't decide yet... (about 5 feet long) is still to attach and then rocket will be lifted onto Ling truck. After this, signwriting will apply. These step by step instructions for building ICBM missile should not be copied by stupid children.
Can you see how it will look now????
Picture below give you some idea of size, compared to old Volvo car. Big, huh? And looks quite perfect and real thanks to superhusband Jon. I put signwriting on with PaintShop so you can see how finished rocket might look. Just imagine this pointing up at about 15 degree angle on top of truck! Mr Mao would be damn proud of me (except he's dead). I tell Jon, truck should always park pointing West towards America. He says South East towards France. Hehehe. Wah!


(PMH Contracts my old business name)

Finally, below, you can see the truck and the rocket skeleton together. This gives you good impression of how big is this job. Picture is actual blueprint Jon used to measure up. He took pic several times to make sure missile fits on truck, during build. This is last pic before truck moved to fit new radiator. Also, Jon takes off spare wheel and makes frame to support missile so it goes over truck cab. Certainly better than NASA space shuttle effort, and so far cost is just £200 + Truck. Maybe another £200 for signwriting. I not waste money! This damn cheap advert, will get in all newspapers, maybe TV, and sit at side of A1 road, everyone will see!
It just shows that nothing impossible!!! - Ling



Update 8th June; Radiator mended. Truck road tested. Building missile frame tomorrow. Good.



Update 14th June; Missile on truck!!! LOOK! LOOK! Now looking something like finished thing. I re-colour grey sky as missile difficult to see edge otherwise. Do you like Chinese writing? It says "Ling's truck". What a difference white wheel rims make. Maybe you should try on contract hire car. Trucks on parade through Tiananmen Square ALWAYS have these white wheels! Cue music! Listen and imagine!!! See pic below for accurate reference to prove my claim!



I am so disappointed stupid English British vehicle and driving licence regulations mean that I cannot drive 8-wheel nuclear missile truck in UK without HGV licence! But 6x6 will do. I can drive Zil on car licence. Beats poncy X5, Porcshe Cayenne, Mercedes ML and actually shoves rocket up Germans' ass. Who else has 7.0 V8 toy? Anyone wanna come play off road or tug of war? Hehehe. My truck signwriting to come soon! Truck is parked just over River Tyne from BAE Systems Alvis-Vickers tank factory. Husband says he will take truck to factory and ask MD if he wants to come out to play with big toys (maybe not try tug of war with Challenger - ooops). Maybe get nice pics. Wah! Needs signwriting first!



...and here is truck FINISHED!



...with me sitting on it, just in case you missed me perched up there! - Ling





Nuclear missile truck idea copyright LINGsCARS.com 2005

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MINI BLOG
 
I am GAY ICON! WoW!
Posted: 04/02/10
Comments ( 1 )
I am GAY ICON! WoW! How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
Posted: 04/03/10
Comments ( 0 )
NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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Province of Engrish running-dogs batsman Paul Collingwood pays tribute to Graeme Swann after spinner claimes wicket in male gender human bleing's first over for 12th clock time result for Province of Engrish running-dogs. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:45



Hundreds of human bliengs join rally in memory of three asylum seekers who apparently jumped to their deaths from flats in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 12:34



Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel starts first Formula 1 race of 2010 from pole position after edging Ferraris in Bahrain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:25



The EU is putting finishing touches to multi-billion euro bail-out for Greece after weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of crisis, lah, senior officials tell BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 12:07



Arsenal take on Hull in Saturday's late Premier League game after Chelsea return to top of table with thumping victory over West Ham, lah, and there wins for Tottenham, lah, Wolves and Bolton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:59



The postal watchdog is considering taking action against Royal Mail after finding that delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so quality tests were rigged. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:43



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Formula One legend Sir Stirling Moss I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs male gender human bleing's well-wishers after bloody man fell down lift shaft at home and broke both ankles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:57



Actor Corey Haim's death is being linked to major drug ring which is illegally obtaining prescription drugs, lah, Great Satan old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:39



The new mass movement against Italy's Berlusconi - news replorted 10:29



Pop star Mark Owen checks into rehab after admitting to drink problem and cheating on male gender human bleing's partner, lah, spokesman confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Samantha Cameron speaks publicly for first clock time result of flemale human person's relationship with Conservative leader. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:59



Two teenagers arrested by old bill bobbys hunting killer of man stabbed to death after chasing handbag-snatchers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:54



The age of criminal responsibility should be raised from 10 to 12, lah, says Province of Engrish running-dogs's children's commissioner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! your as really velly special customer's views? - news replorted 09:49



old bill bobbys in Irish Republic release three of seven Muslims arrested over alleged plot to murder Swedish cartoonist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:25



A suicide bomber in rickshaw kills at least 10 human bliengs in Pakistan, lah, day after twin blasts leave dozens dead in Lahore. - news replorted 08:58



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Britain's Elena Baltacha reaches third round in Indian Wells with impressive win over Super-Duper-Chinese-State seventh seed Na Li. - news replorted 06:29



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funny shape ball-game fans travelling to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land v Province of Engrish running-dogs match should not be affected by rail strike, lah, First ScotRail says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:12



Nasa Moon astronauts condemn President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's decision to cancel Great Satan lunar programme as "catastrophic". - news replorted 03:34



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Weekend polls may loosen Sarkozy grip on Elysee Palace - news replorted 02:12



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Children's strange misconceptions about science revealed in science knowledge quiz. - news replorted 00:10



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