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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
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Letter
Customer Letter: 1515 / 1528
Robb says...
 Ling,

Thank you for your little video, that is a nice touch.

The car is superb, but sad to say that as expected my wife has purloined it already!!

On a more serious note, can I just say that the experience of renting a car from you has been exceptional. This is the third renting contract that I have had with you and your service and dedication to the customer has gone from strength to strength. Congratulations to you and your team. Your Lingo system is simply the best I have ever encountered.

I have never been into 'chatting' but the last few weeks has changed my perception of that as well.

Robb Jenkins
16 Denbigh Street
Henllan
Denbigh
LL16 5AR


Editor Note: Robb, well, thanks. Wow!

I am very close to having LINGO V2 launched which will be even better than this LINGO (this one is not perfect).

LINGO is certainly better than the previous email system, it allows me better speed and keeps everything transcribed. In many cases this has proved a Godsend, especially when a dealer messes up. If you can imagine, on my side I include all the dealer conversations too. So, if anything ever goes wrong, everyone has full details.

LINGO means I never miss a message and it is all very secure and I can be fast.

I won the BT NatWest Everywoman award Here in December for LINGO (given by Sarah Brown, PM wife - but not for long haha), I was so pleased. LINGO V2 will have tabs for different cars and be easier to use. I am hoping to be able to provide some white label service to different big companies to provide cars to customers, with generic LINGO powering it. Not everyone likes my own crazy branding :) Hahaha.

Glad you love the car, everyone is happy with these Mazdas. Thanks for giving the driver a lift back to the main road. :) - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 1497 / 1528
Fraser says...
 It has been a pleasure dealing with Ling Cars. Ling's clever website is informative, packed with useful information and as a bonus, amusing.

I needed a little car to dap to and from work, the Citroen C2 I got is brilliant and virtually runs on air.

Ling Valentine may present herself as slightly "wacky" but this belies a very astute business woman (hatfuls of awards!). I would recommend Ling Cars without hesitation - check them out if you want a great deal.

Fraser Colquhoun
4 The Mill
Bromsash
Ross-on-wye
HR97PN


Editor Note: Fraser, you work for multinational computer giant Hewlett Packard, so you are used to underpowered, unremarkable machines :) so you will enjoy the Citroen C2, hahahaha! Heyyyy - JOKING! You were fun to deal with, very fast on my LINGO and we had a great time! You even uploaded a nice pic of yourself:
Fraser Colquhoun
With all that money you save on fuel, you can afford a new PC, now! And you can afford to get your teeth done! :) - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 1441 / 1528
Andrew says...
 The best experience I have had in buying lease vehicles. You could not fault Ling's customer service. Updates, communication, follow ups, take note big boys!! Spend some time with Ling and her colleagues and learn!! SAAB 9-3 sourced quickly, no fuss! Documented, pain and delivered. Looking forward to renewal.

Andrew Fenton
Vale Of Glamorgan Travel Ltd
16 Cowbridge Road
Pontyclun
CF72 9ED


Editor Note: Hahahah, boyo! You were a super customer and I am pleased you found my service more than good. I try hard. I look forward to renewal, too! Thanks for letter Andrew! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1394 / 1528
Lee says...
 First class service from start to finish. Fantastic, you little Chinese wonder!

Excellent delivery of my new Mercedes CLC 1.8 K , polite, efficient delivery driver.

Lee ***
Address Withheld
Neath
SA10 ***


Editor Note: Ying tong tiddle I po! Hahahaha, that is the Chinese wonder song. Velly good, eh? You have new Mercedes to impress the girls now... what a shame you are Welsh :) Hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1315 / 1528
Michael says...
NISSAN NOTEHi Ling! The whole experience dealing with you has been fun but importantly very efficient. I have already started recommending you to my unenlightened friends who still think they must own their cars. I especially like the 'Lingon' pages where I can trace all our communications in one page and the ongoing mileage check graph at the top to monitor contractual usage- really useful! Many thanks.

image

Michael Gummery
33 Whitehouse Drive
Kingstone
Hereford
HR2 9ER


Editor Note: Yep, I have a new graph for customers; a fun and easy way to keep your mileage in check. I show your current example above - you are a bit above your contract mileage!! Hahahaha, the "Lingon" is my LINGO area, every customer loves that! No one else has such a thing. Great news that you were happy with my service and with the new Nissan Note! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1288 / 1528
Nathan says...
FIAT GRANDE PUNTOVery pleased with the whole experience. I found myself driving a brand-new Fiat Grande Punto just a few weeks after I first clicked onto the website. No hassle, excellent service. Excellent delivery, too. Prompt, polite, perfect.

Nathan Hartley
57 Marlborough Rd
Penylan
Cardiff
CF235BU


Editor Note: Wow, Nathan, don't hold back! It is like you were surprised to suddenly find yourself with a new car :) You did actually order it, hahaha! Thanks for the letter! Nice alliteration :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1252 / 1528
Andrew says...
 It was one of the worst snow blizzards ever, but the new black Honda Civic Type-R was delivered to my door as promised. Great service from your team, Ling, and great service from the delivery company. Not so keen on the Chicken Noodles, though. But, the Honda is superb to drive. Thanks again.

Andrew Talbot
Spring Cottage
Brilley
Whitney On Wye
HR3 6JP


Editor Note: Hehehe, all my customers get the chance to order a free lunch... you should see how many Captains of Industry order my FUKU noodles :) You are head of technical services for a leisure group, Andy, so I appreciate your comments. Always nice to have super-happy customers. Never mind the snow, you are such a wuss, hahahaha, - go drive it!!!! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1222 / 1528
Clair says...
 WOW!

Ling is certainly on the ball!

The Renault Koleos was delivered on time and with no fuss. Ling ALWAYS kept us informed of exactly what was happening, and when. The speed and ease of the whole process was nothing more than fantastic - I can't rave about Ling enough. Good delivery, car arrived on the correct date but at 6.30pm.

Love the car, love Ling!

Clair Richards
57 Porth-y-waun
Gowerton
Swansea
SA4 3BJ


Editor Note: Clair, sounds good! Maybe part of the reason for the slightly late in the day delivery is because the delivery driver was English and didn't stand a chance with your address :) This is like being in China when you suddenly get a word in Cantonese and that is very similar to Welsh, hahaha. Totally incomprehensible :) However, you seem over the moon with everything else, and that's the main thing. Lovely to deal with you. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1217 / 1528
Martin says...
 My second car from Ling - need not look elsewhere. Swift response and most effective. Great new innovation with "LINGO" system. Keep up the good work. Good delivery on my new Mazda 3, efficient, courteous, prompt.

Martin Holland
Cadwgan Inn
10 Market Street
Aberaeron
SA46 0AU


Editor Note: Hahahah, I can never pronounce the name of your pub Martin. Bloody Welsh ethnic name :) Still us minority people should stick together, eh? Gotta laugh. This Mazda replaces a Skoda Octavia you had a couple of years ago. Nice to see returning customers. Look forward to a free drink, I still have not called in to see you! Glad you like LINGO by the way, only customers see that. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1165 / 1528
Kevin says...
CITROEN C5The journey from order date to delivery date for my new Citroen C5 was extremely smooth. I always felt safe with the process and the Lingo System kept me constantly up to date with all that was happening. Delivered on time.

Kevin French
21 Cilgerran Way
Grove Park
Blackwood
NP12 1GF


Editor Note: Kevin, as a managing director, I appreciate your comments. "Extremely Smooth" will do me :) That is what I want to hear. Have a great time in the C5, all my customers love those new-model cars. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1138 / 1528
Gwendoline says...
  I really enjoyed the whole process - Ling made it fun! Everything went smoothly and I was kept informed all the way. Cars were delivered on time, excellent.

Gwendoline Howell
H-2-H UK Ltd
Kingsley Howell
3 Bellstone
Shrewsbury
SY1 1HU


Editor Note: Gwendoline, you has 2 x Matizzes! Thanks so much, as a letting agent you need to keep costs to a minimum in the current climate and I hope the Matizzes do the job for you. You were a real hoot to deal with, you were right, we had fun! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1126 / 1528
Ceri says...
NISSAN QASHQAILing organised the deal sharply. No fuss. Spot on. I have to admit that Ling is a little scary but so what – she's good at what she does and even though I asked plenty of questions there has always an answer. So full marks. As to leasing another car the answer is a definite yes and I would heartily recommend anyone to use her 10/10. Excellent delivery, on time. No hassle, well done!

Ceri Lewis
Ceri Lewis & Associates Ltd
29 Dunraven Road
Sketty
Swansea
SA2 9LG


Editor Note: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hahahaha, so I am scary??? :) Well, sometimes I am busy so I go fast. And I don't shout at customers... too much! Anyway Chezby, you got your new Qashqai, and you gottit cheap! That's the main event. Have a great time posing around in it. I do not believe you were really scared, you are a Surveyor, bouncing around in your hard hat. I don't think you get scared :) BOOO! Ooooops! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1110 / 1528
Jonathan says...
AUDI A5 COUPEDealing with Ling for my new Audi A5 Coupe was great. You could never accuse her of not communicating with you - she gives constant updates of where things are - all very reassuring.

Jonathan Williams
11 Plymouth Road
Penarth
Cardiff
CF64 3DA


Editor Note: Well, as you are Operations Manager for Calsonic Kansei UK Ltd (sounds Japanese), then I am pleased you likes my processes :) Enjoy the fast Audi. Those are nice cars! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1064 / 1528
Ricky says...
RENAULT GRAND SCENICWhat can I say about Ling? - She's exactly as it says on the tin... no-nonsense, straight-forward, honest, reliable and a pleasure to deal with (oh, and cheaper than many others).

My Renault Grand Scenic arrived as estimated, no problems. Will be back in 3-years, then! Excellent delivery, on time, polite and straightforward.

Ricky Holdsworth
27 Afandale
Baglan
Port Talbot
SA12 7BN


Editor Note: Ricky, so pleased you are a happy bunny. Glad you like the Grand Scenic. Thanks for super-duper comments, especially as you are a Project Manager for the City and County of Swansea. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1060 / 1528
Anne says...
MAZDA MX-5It's true.

Ling is as nutty as a bag of M&M's. But – she is also hard working & 100% professional. Getting a lease car sounded a bit daunting, but it was quick, effortless and even fun. Hats off to Ling, I've not met many people with her refreshing approach to business. Took my money and made me smile! Oh, and the car is perfect and was delivered bang on time. A really happy customer. Excellent. Perfect service, delivery on time, and faultless.

Anne Perry
Llwyn Dwyfog
Llangybi
Pwllheli
LL53 6SR


Editor Note: Anne, what the hell of an address! I am amazed they found you to deliver your car! I really hope you enjoy the MX5. You are boss of an online business, so I give you a link: Flowerhour.co.uk. You supply wraps, tissue papers, bags and ribbons. I was really lovely to deal with you, thanks for the comments (even though you call me nutty, hehehe). - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1030 / 1528
Alex says...
CarI found your service to be very helpful and fast, friendly and always available to sort any problem. I hope to use Ling in the future and wish your company much success. Who needs the faceless big company when friendly Ling is at the end of a email? Many many thanks. Good delivery of my new Grande Punto.

Alex Forrester
107 Jenner Road
Barry
CF62 7HS


Editor Note: Who is Barry? :) Super letter, it always makes me happy when customer is happy. Even Welsh customer. Have a lovely time buzzing around South Wales, Alex. I like "fast and friendly" :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1009 / 1528
Ricky says...
CarWhat can I say about Ling???

She is exactly as it says on the tin; no nonsense straight forward, honest, reliable and a pleasure to deal with. (Oh, and she is cheaper than many others). My new Renault Grand Scenic arrived as estimated, no problems. I will be back in 3-years time!! Excellent delivery, on time, polite and straightforward.

Ricky Holdsworth
27 Afandale
Baglan
Port Talbot
SA12 7BN


Editor Note: Anyone with a "Y" on the end of their name is worth dealing with, and you are no exception, Ricky. Your Grand Scenic went directly to plan, so smooth. As you are Welsh ethnic, I will not try to impress with my Geordie. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 983 / 1528
Lynette says...
CarFast, efficient service. Would definitely recommend you to other people. Crazy website! Excellent chat service - knowledgeable staff. All excellent, including delivery!

Lynette Broom
address withheld
Ludlow
SY8 ***


Editor Note: Lynette, well, get the top down! Have a great time in your new Mini Cooper Convertible. Thanks so much for kind words, you were lovely to deal with :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 945 / 1528
Paul says...
CarLing, I am more than happy to provide some feedback - I can honestly say that the whole "Ling" experience has been an absolute joy - always quick, clear, efficient and often hilarious (a crazy lady!!). I will never "buy" another car again and will definitely be back in 3-years. Excellent service, my new Citroen C5 VTR+ was delivered bang on time.

Also, just to let you (and anyone else) know that the new shape C5 is superb - smooth, luxurious and economical (50mpg!). It looks amazing, too. Many thanks again for arranging it all, see you in 3-years.

Paul Hay
St Harmon
Rhayader
LD6 5LU


Editor Note: Well, it is like supplying that bloody Jeremy Clarkson! You do a Top Gear road-test for me, in the letter :) Hahahaha, yes, these cars are great, but i had a big fight with Citroen about the way the market it as unmistakEably German, especially as they mis-spell it (IMHO) in their advertising. A much better bet though, than the latest Laguna. Renault are ashamed of putting a 1.5 diesel engine in it, they hide that fact! So pleased that you are happy, my Citroen dealers do a very good job! I also have support from Citroen UK. A good company! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 934 / 1528
Jon says...
CarGreat service, pleasure to do business with you, Ling :). Excellent delivery, my new Nissan Qashqai was delivered on time!

Jon Owen
Whitewood Lane
Malpas
SY14 7DL


Editor Note: Jon, happy to see you happy, hehehe. Great car, great price, great delivery. What more do you want??? You are a wonderful customer. Enjoy the Quashqai. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 890 / 1528
Stephen says...
CarGreat service from Ling from start to finish, would definitely recommend to anyone.

My Vauxhall Corsa SRI is a superb car for the money I paid, it feels great to drive a really nice car and also to know you got a superb deal on it as well. Ling answered all of my initial queries very quickly and kept me informed every step of the way from placing the order to taking delivery of the car. Delivery was on time and the delivery driver took the time to show me around all of the features in the car and made sure I was happy with everything before he left.

Very glad to have found Ling's website when I was looking for a new car, I've received an excellent deal and will definitely be back in 2 years time when my current deal runs out. Thanks again Ling, you're a star.

Stephen Grove
1 Cwrt Hocys
Llansamlet
SA7 9WH


Editor Note: Yeah, you did get a great deal. This fast car was barely more than a 1.2 Club Corsa. Also, you are an accountant, so I know you will have worked out the costs pretty accurately. You live in one of those places I cannot say, though! Enjoy the Corsa, Stephen, thanks for the note! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 880 / 1528
Tony says...
CarTop service.
Ling does what she says 100% of the time.
No hidden extras, what you see is what you pay.
Fast efficient and friendly.
If it's in the post - it's in the post.
If you ring - speak to Ling!!
When the car was delivered it was dirty.

Tony Doggett
Ynys, Clynnog Road
Llandwrog
Caernarfon
LL54 5ED


Editor Note: Tony, great - apart from that last line. Hmmm, how come a car dealer can mess up on such a simple thing? All they need is a £1 car wash and the job would be perfect, eh? It must have been a bad day. Thanks for pointing that "dirty" out, I will kick them... and thanks for the letter. Having said that, it is a small thing and you have a V6 2.7 fully-loaded, big, fast, leather-seat car for just £184/month. No complaints about the price, then??? :))) Thanks for the letter! And you might consider getting an address I can pronounce - my God! That address is worse than bloody Chinese! hahaha - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 754 / 1528
Stephen says...
CarDear Ling,

Apologies for not dropping you a line sooner, but the first month with our new Nissan Qashqai has gone so fast. Thanks for your help and offering such a blinding deal. You deserve the business for your fun attitude and prompt replies to queries. Do you always work at 8pm???

The car arrived on time, immaculate and by a very polite and cheerful driver. Well done, you! We will be back.

ps. The offer of a free lunch is still on, to beat your own free lunch offer - at our restaurant!

Stephen Lake
Renaissance Restaurant
29a Princess Street
Shrewsbury
SY1 1LW


Editor Note: Stephen, yes, like you I often work evenings :). I have given you hyperlink for the free lunch offer. There are 50,000 visitors to my webpage every month, so many of them will be very pleased at your "FREE" offer. Hahahaha! Now, you will be damn busy! Here is your Dec 2007 evening menu:

Roasted butternut squash soup - £ 4.95
Ham & tomato risotto with melted cheese - £ 5.25
Cold venison & sultana terrine with port vinaigrette - £ 5.75
Crumbed smoked haddock croquettes with chopped egg & winter salad - £ 5.50
Stilton & spinach soufflé cake with apple, onion & coriander salad - £ 5.25
*
Roast turkey, herb stuffing, chipolata & bacon rolls & cranberry sauce - £ 12.95
Rib-eye steak with mushroom, parsley & Worcestershire cream sauce - £13.95
Loin medallion of pork with crackling & honey & lemon gravy - £ 12.95
Quenelles of salmon mousselline with dill cream sauce - £ 12.95
Aubergine, mozzarella & cashew nuts on blinis with tomato sauce - £ 11.95
*
Traditional Christmas pudding with brandy custard or fresh cream - £ 4.95
Apple & cranberry tart with Chantilly cream - £ 4.95
Chocolate mousse torte - £ 4.95
Almond & raspberry Pavlova meringue - £ 4.95
Saffron & citrus poached pear with vanilla ice-cream - £ 4.95
or Cheese selection & biscuits - £ 5.75
*
Coffee or tea - £ 2.00
All dishes are home-made using only fresh, quality ingredients & main courses are served with carefully prepared vegetables.


Yum Yum!

Here is mine:

Out of date FUKU fast noodles, chopsticks - £ FREE!
Chinese Nescafe or tea - £ FREE!
Dodgy marshmallow or dry plum - £ FREE!


No competition, eh? Sorry about that! - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 720 / 1528
Roy says...
CarWe went to at least 10 other lease-hire providers and told them all to try and match Ling's price. The closest alternative would have cost us over £1000 more over the hire period. Ling's website is funny but her prices are seriously good. Excellent delivery, clear, concise and honest.

Roy Blackburn
Blackburn Griffiths Ltd
8 Deryn Court
Wharfedale
Cardiff
CF23 7NB


Editor Note: Well, here is another professional company, Blackburn Griffiths Ltd is a consulting civil engineering company in Cardiff... so Roy, I take your letter very seriously. Thanks for the comments. I really do my best and am so pleased to get a letter like this. Thanks. I will say the reason the Merc was cheaper than everyone else is that I treat it like a can of beans. I don't add crazy premium for a badge or a name. It makes no difference to me if you have a Fiesta, a Range Rover or a Merc... I simply treat you the same and don't try to make a massive profit. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 705 / 1528
Darren says...
CarGreat, easy to use and straightforward website. Fabulous communication which made the whole process pain free. Will definitely use Ling again and I have already recommended to colleagues and friends.

Darren Collett
High Orchard
Pencombe
HR7 4RS


Editor Note: Darren, you are so sweet :) You are still missing your aerial for the Nissan Qashqai, but yet you write such a lovely letter. I am sorting out your aerial. - Ling



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The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
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Wah! Walkers on previous Northumberland Coastal Challenge manager of Mlitslublishli expensive dealeringship buildling in County Durham is to marathon walk to raise money in memory of flemale human person's mother- - news replorted 18:32



Wah! A large gorse fire close to homes in Carmarthenshire forces closure of road. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:28



Wah! A promise for first-time buyers and boost from small businesses on campaign day 28. - news replorted 18:24



Wah! Nicola Sturgeon tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation that Labour leader Ed Miliband has been bullied by Conservatives to rule out deal with flemale human person's SNP party after general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:14



Wah! Watchdog Ofcom reveals changes to charges for phone-in competitions and votes on TV and radio shows in "biggest overhaul of phone calls in more than decade". - news replorted 18:00



Wah! SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon tells BBC's Evan Davis that Labour leader Ed Miliband is ruling out coalition with SNP because bloody man is being ''bullied by Tories to rule these things out''. - news replorted 18:00



Wah! GM Financial, lah, operating as GMAC bloody annoying Blitish and Vlauxhall finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan in UK, lah, has been named “Captive finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan capitalist entity of Year”. - news replorted 17:59



Wah! The 2015 Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate DTM drivers redeeming moment for Audi’s motorsport fans: Exactly 195 days without DTM will be over when another DTM race starts at - news replorted 17:58



Wah! Frank Biela in 2006 Le Mans winning Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate R10 TDI Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate has always stood for pioneering achievements. Eating rice!! brand with four rings was first automobile manufacturer t - news replorted 17:50



Wah! I just made tea – Tales of 30 years inside Formula 1 This is ebook edition of Di Spires' unusual and revealing Formula 1 memoir. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Di and flemale human person's husband Stu travelled wor - news replorted 17:43



Wah! Lord Sugar announces male gender human bleing's replacement for advisor Nick Hewer on Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One's Apprentice - Claude Littner, lah, who has grilled candidates during interview rounds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:37



Wah! A former nurse is jailed for 18 years for raping unconscious women at hospital in Oxfordshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:33



Wah! Licence Bureau to validate licences at capitalist entity LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Action For first time, lah, drivers attending this year’s capitalist entity LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Action will be screened for their ability to controlling in driving manner prio - news replorted 17:21



Wah! Nick Clegg says education funding guarantees will be "deal breaker" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in any coalition negotiations between Lib Dems and Conservatives or Labour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:15



Wah! Ricky Hatton has fought both Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao but believes American will adapt male gender human bleing's style and win. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:09



Wah! A property developer admits making illegal alterations to Monmouthshire house that is said to having inspired hymn All Things Bright and Beautiful. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 17:01



Wah! Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg tells BBC's Kamal Ahmed that party will not enter into any coalition that does not guarantee protection for education system ''from cradle to college''. - news replorted 17:01



Wah! All Ship-Shape at Beaulieu Boatjumble forecast of showers for this year’s Beaulieu’s Boatjumble on 26th April, lah, didn’t deter over 7,000 visitors attendin - news replorted 16:59



Wah! British number one Heather Watson loses 7-5 3-6 7-6 (7-5) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! to Slovenia's Polona Hercog in Prague Open first round. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:58



Wah! Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni orders security agencies to re-introduce military training for civilians to counter threat from al-Shabab. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 16:52



Wah! The case of notorious child killer who became first man to be convicted under DNA evidence is being considered by Parole Board. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:44



Wah! Mark Cavendish makes it back-to-back stage wins at start of Tour of Turkey with victory in Antalya. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 16:21



Wah! Japan and Great Satan expected to unveil new guidelines on their defence co-operation ahead as Japanese leader Shinzo Abe visits Great Satan for talks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:18



Wah! old bill bobbys in Baltimore preparing for thousands of human bliengs to attend funeral services of Freddie Gray, lah, after weekend of violent protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:17



Wah! Polish border guards block entry to 10 bikers described as members of pro-Putin group seen as provocative by Polish government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:58



Wah! Mercedes-Benz Actros Mercedes-Benz Trucks will once again be demonstrating stunning range of award-winning vehicling driving car machines at Truckfest Peterborou - news replorted 15:45



Wah! Prominent Syrian dissident Louay Hussein evades travel ban and flees to Spain before end of male gender human bleing's trial for "weakening national sentiment". - news replorted 15:40



Wah! Hyundai Motorsport fights to fifth and scores Power Stage points Ryundali Motorsport has completed tough Rally Argentina, lah, round four of 2015 FIA World Rally Championship (WRC), lah, wit - news replorted 15:32



Wah! Images from campaign trail: 27 rainy season-month Aplil - news replorted 15:29



Wah! Six women and four men go on trial accused of abusing five young children and treating them as "sexual playthings". - news replorted 15:27



Wah! Valve boss Gabe Newell has defended company's decision to let developers of some game modifications or 'mods' charge for their creations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:22



Wah! New Suzluko Clothing Range now available Suzuki's 2015 clothing range is now available to order (piece of paper signee upee) online or in dealerships, lah, with host of new items added to - news replorted 15:12



Wah! How will politicians deal with future recession, lah, asks Duncan Weldon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:51



Wah! Newcastle United legend Alan Shearer believes club "in mess" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as they fight for Premier League survival. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 14:45



Wah! What now for AP McCoy? Former champion jockey Richard Dunwoody gives insight into life after winning post. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:43



Wah! Ford Motor capitalist entity today announced that all-new Floord Mustang will deliver 0-62mph acceleration in under five seconds - news replorted 14:40



Wah! good boiled chicken-feetwood Festival of Speed 2014 On Thursday 25, lah, June-mber month Lord monthly number-three will once again open grounds of velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood House in West Sussex to public for - news replorted 14:34



Wah! China has become second-largest wine-growing area in world after Spain, lah, pushing France into third place, lah, figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 14:25



Wah! Shaun Murphy eases past Joe Perry 13-5 to reach quarter-finals of World Championship in Sheffield. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:24



Wah! Fife-based paper maker Tullis Russell goes into administration with loss of 325 jobs, lah, and putting further 149 at risk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 14:23



Wah! The jury in trial of Victorino Chua, lah, nurse accused of murdering three patients and poisoning 18 others, lah, retires to consider its verdict. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:21



Wah! New smartphones from Lenovo and Acer feature much bigger batteries than is norm for handset. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:20



Wah! Gina DeJesus and Amanda Berry having given their first British TV interview to Newsnight's Kirsty Wark. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 14:11



Wah! The series finale of Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One's costume drama re-make Poldark is watched by 5.9 million people, lah, just over quarter of TV audience. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:06



Wah! One-two finish for DS 3 WRCs in Argentina Citroën Total Abu Dhabi World Rally Team has claimed one-two finish in Carlos Paz, lah, marking Citroën Racing’s tenth - news replorted 14:05



Wah! Just few days after their triumphant weekend in Marrakech, lah, Citroën C-Elysée WTCCs returning to action in en - news replorted 14:01



Wah! A County Down man reported missing in Nepal after earthquake is alive, lah, according to Red Cross website. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:52



Wah! Williams announce loss of RMB Yuan #42.5m in 2014, lah, blaming deficit on "hangover" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from team's ninth-placed finish in 2013. - news replorted 13:48



Wah! Dozens of British and Irish human bliengs among missing, lah, as Disasters Emergency Committee announces appeal to aid survivors of Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:37



Wah! A former midwife at Furness General Hospital in Cumbria admits "making mistakes" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) which contributed to deaths of two babies. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:28



Wah! Nick Clegg disputes predictions in polls that Liberal Democrats will lose several seats at election and said that winning was in male gender human bleing's party's DNa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:21



Wah! Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity shares fall after it unveils plan to cut costs by €3.5bn (RMB Yuan #2.5bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and sell off its Postbank business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:20



Wah! In Algeria's Ligue 1, lah, only 11 points separate all 16 clubs with just four games still to play. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:20



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation understands that man has died in house fire in Londonderry. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:19



Wah! International efforts to bring aid to Nepal stepped up as death toll from Saturday's devastating earthquake reaches 3,726. - news replorted 13:13



Wah! How human bliengs coming out in support of transgender Bruce Jenner - news replorted 13:09



Wah! The card game Bridge is "arguably" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sport and could qualify for lottery funding, lah, High Court judge finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:05



Wah! A controversial artificial sweetener is being removed from Diet Pepsi in Great Satan following consumer concerns about its safety. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:59



Wah! Manchester United's Javier Hernandez says male gender human bleing's loan club Real Madrid "best team in world". - news replorted 12:54



Wah! Rescue teams racing to getting to climbers who survived avalanches on Mount Everest after Nepal's earthquake before their supplies run out. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:53



Wah! A team of Turkish rescue workers having pulled man alive from rubble of building in Kathmandu, lah, two days after earthquake - news replorted 12:34



Wah! Antonov - An-124 and ETC van Manufacturers cite risk of supply chain disruption as being their greatest cause of concern, lah, according to recent res - news replorted 12:34



Wah! Toyota Champions Speed Into Spa Proudly bearing their new name, lah, Toyotla Gazoo Racing will make short journey from their base in Cologne, lah, Germany, lah, to - news replorted 12:33



Wah! New Caterham race series commences in Malaysia British sportscar manufacturer, lah, Caterham Cars, lah, expanded its Caterham Racing series to Malaysia on Saturday, lah, with new c - news replorted 12:26



Wah! Hyundai i40 Tourer Ryundali Motor bloody annoying Blitish today announced official pricing and specification for New Ryundali i40. - news replorted 12:26



Wah! Sudan's President Omar al-Bashir, lah, accused of fighty bang-bang crimes in Darfur, lah, is re-elected with 94% of vote, lah, official results say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:24



Wah! Indian climber Sangeeta Bahl speaks to BBC's Geeta Pandey about flemale human person's joy at mountaineer husband Ankur Bahl's escape from Saturday's earthquake in Nepal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! A coroner tells inquest deaths of two British children on holiday in Corfu was "a most appalling tragedy". - news replorted 12:18



Wah! Six human bliengs who died from overdoses bought their drugs via Silk road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu marketplace, lah, claim (always claiming, huh?) Great Satan government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:17



Wah! Juventus boss Massimiliano Allegri says "only madman" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) would bring children to games after trouble in Turin derby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:15



Wah! Students will learn about global financial crisis in new economics A-level to be taught from September. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:15



Wah! A Conservative local election candidate who said bloody woman could never support "the Jew" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Ed Miliband is suspended. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:15



Wah! Motorists going abroad after 8 June-mber month being warned they will need to take special code with them if they wanting to hire car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:13



Wah! St Mirren captain Steven Thompson says bloody man is "mortified" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after 'spearing' team-mate John McGinn in training ground prank - news replorted 12:11



Wah! A 90-earth-years old happy birthday to you, woman is denied $41.8m (RMB Yuan #27.6m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! penny slot machine bonus after casino blames it on computer error. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:59



Wah! New footage has emerged of moment devastating earthquake struck Nepal, lah, after several Super-Duper-Chinese-State photographers arrived home on Sunday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:59



Wah! Emma Trott with Motorpoint Newport’s Ross Padfield Emma Trott has driven away in brand new Nissling Juke I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to Motorpoint and Ant n Dec. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 11:51



Wah! Oil price hovers at four and half month high amid concerns over disruption to supplies from Middle East. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:40



Wah! Several Scots among those still unaccounted for following massive earthquake which hit Nepal on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:35



Wah! David Cameron risks losing support of Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionists over Tories' handling of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:24



Wah! David Cameron has made passionate address at business event in London (capital of Great England) pledging to win election'. - news replorted 11:24



Wah! Germany was told of risk of flying over eastern Ukraine before flight MH17 was shot down, lah, but failed to pass on alert, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:23



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband gives speech in Stockton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Aerial view of damage in Gorkha district, lah, Kathmandu and Bhaktapur - news replorted 11:21



Wah! hurtee-hurtee Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge may not play again before end of season, lah, says boss Brendan Rodgers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:12



Wah! Silverstone Fleet Show is ‘most complete show ever’ Fleet World Fleet Show at Silverstone in two weeks’ clock time result has been billed as ’the most complete Fleet Show ever’ beca - news replorted 11:09



Wah! The new Jagluar XE Jagluar XE redefines concept of sports saloon and is driver’s LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in its class. Eating rice!! Its lightweight construct - news replorted 11:09



Wah! Two more men from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep having been listed as missing following earthquake in Nepal, lah, taking total to four. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:08



Wah! Floyd Mayweather should retire after Saturday's super-fight against Manny Pacquiao, lah, according to male gender human bleing's father. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 11:01



Wah! Porsche 918 Spyder dream controlling in driving manner for one Porsche enthusiast will become reality this week when Ingo Georges Vandenberghe from Austria joi - news replorted 11:00



Wah! As thousands of migrants drown trying to make their way to Europe, lah, Owen Bennett-Jones asks if Australia's tough approach to unauthorised migrants could work in EU. - news replorted 10:54



Wah! An Israeli air strike has killed four militants armed with bomb along Israeli-Syrian frontier in Golan Heights, lah, Israeli military says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:48



Wah! Supernatural horror Penny Dreadful wins three Bafta Television Craft Awards, lah, while Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation One's Sherlock wins two and Mackenzie Crook wins male gender human bleing's first Bafta. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:48



Wah! The All Province of Engrish running-dogs Lawn Tennis Club warns selfie sticks will not be allowed into this year's Wimbledon Championships. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! A woman from East Sussex who ran London (capital of Great England) Marathon is following it with another seven 26.2-mile runs in week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:08



Wah! The EU holds talks in Kiev amid concern about ailing Ukrainian economy, lah, as observers report intense shelling in country's east. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! Council house tenants will not be allowed to buy their own homes, lah, under plans unveiled by Green Party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:04



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron gives speech in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:01



Wah! Women and younger buyers need more help to find their next car Recent research from Auto Trader’s Buyer Behaviour Study undertaken by GfK1 suggests that nearly half of all buyers begi - news replorted 10:00



Wah! old bill bobbys in Burundi fire tear gas at activists protesting against President Pierre Nkurunziza's decision to run for third term in office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:58



Wah! Laurens Vanthoor, lah, Pierre Kaffer, lah, Christopher Mies, lah, Nico Müller First victory for second generation Vorsprunging Audi Techiclate R8 LMS: only seven weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after its world premiere at Geneva Motor Show, lah, - news replorted 09:54



Wah! A former senior Tommy Atkins Liberation Army officer is to be sued over death of Catholic man in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers more than 40 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:51



Wah! Kris Meeke winning in Argentina Kris Meeke on past day, lah, day before today day became first British driver to win round of FIA World Rally Championship for more than - news replorted 09:49



Wah! Kristoffersson wins World RX season-opener in Portugal Sweden’s Johan Kristoffersson has won this weekend’s Bompiso Rallycross of Portugal, lah, round one of FIA World Rallycro - news replorted 09:44



Wah!  (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) SsangYong Tivoli further six new dealers having joined SsangYong franchise ahead of arrival of brand’s all new Tivoli B-segme - news replorted 09:30



Wah! Two amateur astronomers having launched model of Star Wars 'X-wing' vehicling driving car machine into stratosphere. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:27



Wah! EE, lah, UK's biggest mobile operator, lah, saw its operating revenue fall 1.1% to RMB Yuan #1.469m in first quarter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:12



Wah! Amy Winehouse's dad has distanced himself from documentary about singer, lah, saying it's 'misleading'. - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The 'super-jumbo' Airbus A380 celebrates its 10th anniversary - news replorted 08:55



Wah! Images from Nepal as it struggles to cope with devastating earthquake - news replorted 08:22



Wah! Volvo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine UK's Next Generation website Wolwo LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine bloody annoying Blitish has marked next step in its new global marketing strategy, lah, first announced late last year, lah, with lau - news replorted 08:00



Wah! DUP sources confirm that Jim Wells has resigned as Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers health minister. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:16



Wah! UK's newest hospital, lah, South Glasgow University Hospital, lah, is to receive its first patients on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:12



Wah! Leading bloody Engrish funny shape ball-game union club Wasps, lah, which plays at Coventry's Ricoh Stadium, lah, is launching seven-year bond as it aims to raise RMB Yuan #25m to RMB Yuan #35m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Graham Satchell reports on moves to bring wild lynx back to Britain. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:28



Wah! Almost 1,500 human bliengs having signed up for Belfast public bike-share scheme which is being launched on Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:12



Wah! Australia calls on Indonesia to delay executing two convicted Australian drug traffickers until corruption allegations investigated. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:56



Wah! Two-thirds of world's population having no access to safe and affordable surgery, lah, according to new study in Lancet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:33



Wah! People with lower back problems more likely to having spine similar in shape to chimpanzee, lah, our closest ape ancestor. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:29



Wah! The first HIV self-test kit that allows human bliengs to getting fast result at home has gone on sale in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 03:24



Wah! Two self-portraits by Francis Bacon going on public display for first clock time result after being rediscovered in private collection, lah, before being sold. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:11



Wah! Why can't everyone vote online for their MP? - news replorted 03:00



Wah! A garbling written down on paper message signed by owners of 5,000 small firms calls for Conservatives to be "given chance to finish what they started", lah, as Labour accuses Tories of "letting down" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) business. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:56



Wah! Clean-up efforts continuing in Chile, lah, after Calbuco volcano erupted on Thursday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:49



Wah! The eruption of Calbuco volcano in southern Chile has calmed but authorities fear further activity and possible mudslides. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:46



Wah! A memorial to those who campaigned against Great fighty bang-bang more than century ago is to be unveiled in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! The UK's newest hospital, lah, RMB Yuan #842m South Glasgow University Hospital, lah, is due to welcome its first patients later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:22



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's political parties continuing to appeal for votes as general election campaign period enters its final full week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 02:20



Wah! A victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) of sex grooming ring in Oxford believes city's children still being targeted by sex gangs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:09



Wah! First-time buyers would be exempt from stamp duty when buying homes for less than RMB Yuan #300,000 under Labour government, lah, Ed Miliband will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:53



Wah! Five questions about keeping fossil fuels in ground. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:45



Wah! Has digital transformation of society put future of recorded history in jeopardy? Could we be heading for "digital dark age"? - news replorted 00:41



Wah! The Stratos card aims to be single credit-card sized replacement for all existing cards in your as really velly special customer's wallet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:39



Wah! Monday's newspapers focus on efforts to rescue trapped survivors of Nepal earthquake. What the hell I mean??!! And there is news of Labour plan to cut stamp duty for first-time property buyers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:28



Wah! Could this be best place for traveller to fall ill? - news replorted 00:25



Wah! The photographer who shows horrors of Mediterranean - news replorted 00:22



Wah! The woman who adopts dead babies found in rubbish - news replorted 00:20



Wah! The creation of China-led Asian Infrastructure Investment capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity (AIIB) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is stark reminder that Great Satan is no longer world's sole superpower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The firm which can hire pop stars - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Meet two brothers who having set up global concierge business, lah, capitalist entity which books or buys things on behalf of rich clustomlers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Land Rover introduces Advanced Ingenium Engine To Discovery Sport Land Rover has announced its innovative Ingenium diesel engine will be introduced to Discovery Sport. Pass chopsticks!! Following its - news replorted 00:01



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