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Richard Farleigh - "I wanted to invest; I was amazed by Ling'scomplete lack of nerves, and also by her business acumen."
Duncan Bannatyne - "I wanted toinvest... but ye turrn'ed me dooon!"
Deborah Meaden"Harrumph! I'm out!"
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LATEST: Heathrow Airport's runways closed to enable plane to make emergency landing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:17
LATEST: Stage 19 of Giro d'Italia, lah, to be held on Friday, lah, is cancelled because of heavy snow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:01
Drummer Lee Rigby, lah, soldier killed by two assailants in south-east London (capital of Great England) on Wednesday, lah, will be remembered at service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:54
A strong earthquake strikes off Kamchatka peninsula in Russia's far east, lah, but initial tsunami warning issued by authorities is lifted. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:05
Citroën DS3 has been ranked ‘Best Supermini’ in 2013 What Car? JD Power survey. You give me happy happy luck luck. In its bloody velly first showing, lah, DS3 recei - news replorted 08:01
Manchester United has struck new loan deal to cut amount of interest it pays on its huge debts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:54
The old bill bobbys service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service of Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers may having to pay out at least �RMB Yuan #50m to cover costs of policing and security at G8 summit in Fermanagh, lah, it has been claimed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:53
Officers in Londonderry admit Radio 1 event is their biggest old bill bobbys operation this year and they will "curb any anti-social behaviour". - news replorted 07:51
Some drugs taken to protect heart may increase risk of developing Type-2 diabetes, lah, according to researchers in Canada. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:44
Manchester City chief executive Ferran Soriano expects club to win five trophies in next five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:44
In age when "extremely violent and sadistic imagery is two clicks away", lah, school sex education is struggling to keep pace, lah, study suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:43
Lewis Hamilton talks about male gender human bleing's passion for Monaco, lah, helmet designs and male gender human bleing's love of motorbikes - news replorted 07:32
Three soldiers killed in ambush by suspected militants in Pulwama district of Indian-administered Kashmir, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:58
Plans to restore Grade II listed pier boosted by heritage lottery grant of nearly �RMB Yuan #600,000. - news replorted 06:49
More MMR jabs, lah, improved ambulance response times and end to hospital bed-blocking among priorities being set by health chiefs for NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:46
Woolwich victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) remembered in papers - news replorted 06:44
Artist Margaret Harrison, lah, 72, lah, wins �RMB Yuan #16,500 Northern Art Prize for recreation of perimeter fence from Greenham Common airbase at clock time result of women's peace camp in 1980s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:42
A group of state and catholic schools in Armagh hope to be one of 10 shared education campuses as proposed by first and deputy first ministers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:13
Preventing killing of Drummer Lee Rigby in Woolwich would having been "incredibly hard", lah, MI6's former head of counter-terrorism says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:04
An independent report highlights faults in way Rochdale Council dealt with child sex grooming. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 05:44
The remains of King Richard III, lah, discovered under city LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine park, lah, were buried in "hastily dug, lah, untidy grave", lah, researchers reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 05:33
The Church of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's General Assembly approves call to crown monarchs in both Province of Engrish running-dogs and ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land, lah, should ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land becomes independent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:08
Japanese Prime dodgy minister Shinzo Abe heads to Burma for economic talks - in first visit by Japanese PM since 1977. - news replorted 04:53
Part of road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu bridge has collapsed into Skagit River in Great Satan state of Washington sending vehicling driving car machines into water, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:17
A mother and daughter who died after falling ill on boat in Lake District were killed by generator fumes, lah, investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:00
US forecasters predict unusually "active or extremely active" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Atlantic hurricane season of seven to 11 hurricanes, lah, up from average of six. - news replorted 02:57
Shares in Asia having recovered some of steep falls suffered on Thursday, lah, with Japan's Nikkei index rising 3%. - news replorted 02:26
The book group that can crush author's hopes or find bestseller - news replorted 02:24
In age when "extremely violent and sadistic imagery is two clicks away", lah, school sex education is struggling to keep pace, lah, suggests study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:53
Beer, lah, toilet paper, lah, rice - which is Venezuela short of? - news replorted 01:42
Muslim leaders take trip to Nazi concentration camps - news replorted 01:22
The search for continental unity, lah, 50 years on - news replorted 01:19
Cockroaches outsmarting our efforts to kill them by evolving to avoid taste of sugar traps, lah, study reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:18
The bloody Engrish phrases readers love to hear spoken by French - news replorted 01:08
Three famous Norfolk figures immortalised in steel to mark completion of �RMB Yuan #311,000 cycle scheme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:54
Work out your as really velly special customer's dog's true age with this handy calculator - news replorted 00:52
The stories behind Rome's gleaming cobblestones - news replorted 00:43
A marathon meeting of video game enthusiasts is being staged in Glasgow in bid to help human bliengs with dementia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:39
North Lanarkshire Council is set to be first local authority in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land to install life-saving defibrillators in its high schools. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:38
More than 80% of nursery and primary school teachers in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having warned of high workloads as result of new curriculum, lah, union claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:37
Nasa is looking for commercial operators to leasie-car historic launch pad in Florida used for first Moon missions and by Atlantis shuttle. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:26
Enzymes released by cancerous cells having protective function and not one of 'bad guys', lah, say researchers from University of East Anglia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:24
The WHO urges countries with possible cases of novel coronavirus to share inflomination amid concern over patent rights held by commercial labs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:11
The Boy Scouts of America organisation votes to accept openly gay scouts, lah, after divisive campaign pitting liberals against some religious groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:09
Why having we been waiting so long for watches to catch up with smartphones? - news replorted 00:07
The technology that's transforming gardening - news replorted 00:03
Jaguar is number one automotive brand in UK, lah, according to data collated in vehicling driving car machine Ownership Satisfaction Su - news replorted 00:01
Four countries in Latin America - Chile, lah, Colombia, lah, Mexico and Peru - having agreed to scrap most of tariffs on trade between their four countries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00
A Unesco report calls for halt to proposed �RMB Yuan #100m golf resort close to Giant's Causeway in Northern Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:00
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from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
Editor Note:
You were a funny onion, you even forced me to hide the delivery of the bike from your wife who still does not know you have it. It had to be delivered when she was not at your business. So funny. Hope she does not read this, or a divorce will be on the cards. What a lovely nutter you were, Dave. If anyone needs an MOT, in Aldershot, visit Fatboy Dave. He will pass any old banger, if you threaten to grass him to his wife! :) -
Ling
