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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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Showing Letters from Bradford
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Customer Letter: 1529 / 1528
Marcus says...
SEAT IBIZA SPORT COUPEAs always absolutely perfect. Cannot be faulted.

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: As always, a short note from Marcus. A very good customer, had many cars, now including this Seat Ibiza for his staff. Top Prison Solicitor. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1523 / 1528
Marcus says...


Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Jeeez, one word. But a good one. And a good car, a 207bhp Golf GTi. Enjoy it, hahaha :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1505 / 1528
Marcus says...

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
West Yorkshire
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Wow! Taciturn Yorkshireman just never stops blathering on :) Brilliant customer, had so many cars now. Famous criminal lawyer, too! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1455 / 1528
Laura says...
FIAT GRANDE PUNTOAn excellent service provided. Friendly staff answering my questions really really quick. I knew where I stood at all times with my leasing process. I have to say that I would have liked more of a 'heads up' on the difficulties with insurance. Good dealer.

Laura Mitchell
2 Netherlands Square
Low Moor
BD12 0TD

Editor Note: Hmmm, not sure what the difficulties with insurance are, you just insure the car as normal (fully comp). Guess you found an insurance company who made your life hard, Laura, but in my whole business life I have never known a customer who could not arrange insurance. I think have got confused :) Glad you loved my service. Enjoy the bloody Grande Punto! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1395 / 1528
Michael says...
FORD FIESTAExcellent customer service. The difference is – Ling tells you the answer before you've asked the question – upfront, no bullshit, informative, with large dollops of that legendary North Eastern wit - what's not to like? Would recommend without question.

Good delivery of my new Fiesta, on time as promised.

Michael Clayton
27 Gladstone Street
BD23 1PT

Editor Note: Well, I have to have wit when dealing with tight Yorkshiremen! Hahaha, otherwise I would have to make grumpy grunting noises to communicate, like they do in Yorkshire :) Where the hell is Skipton? In the middle of nowhere, no wonder you chatted a lot and seemed lonely. Never mind, you have new Fiesta pet, now. :) By the way, the answer is always: "Database" :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 1368 / 1528
John says...
VOLVO V70Buying a car from Ling is a great experience! Her quirky and honest communications were very funny and she delivered exactly as she said she would. I had my car in less than one month from start to finish! Ling's speed of response to queries and customer service is breathtaking. Thanks Ling and I recommend you to all I meet.

PS: The car is great.

PPS: You get 11/10

John Gornall
Address Withheld
BD20 ***

Editor Note: Wow! 11 out of 10, hahahaha! That's fantastic, John. You are a head honcho Company Secretary at Bradford and Bingley, so I withhold your address as some people hate the fat cats - even though you are not fat and never meowwwed at me. You were a lovely customer. Thanks for passing so much more business from the building society. I have had quite a few enquiries. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1268 / 1528
Marcus says...
 Excellent service, as always. Sure to use you again.

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
West Yorkshire
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Marcus, you are famous in my office for your short (but sweet) comments. You have had LOADS of cars from me. We have to take care of some security issues as you are a criminal lawyer, but we always manage to overcome the restrictions you like to be placed on your personal information. Thanks again, enjoy the new Astra! - Ling

Customer Letter: 1226 / 1528
Kimberley says...
 Dear Ling

Great service, thanks! The LINGO system works really well, so as a customer you are always fully up to speed with the status of your order and the paperwork process. My last car was from Jam Jar. Nice car, but crap service from them. The service you offer is very personal, quick, and makes the purchase experience a lot more fun.

Speak to you again in 12-months when the 307CC goes back.

Car arrived on time, pleasant delivery driver, but the car only arrived with one key (which you resolved immediately) and was not very clean on the inside.

Kimberley Parry-Moorhouse
Address Withheld
West Yorkshire
BD9 ***

Editor Note: Kim, well, I have gone mental and got you the second key. And had a go at them about the state of the car. It is unbelievable that this happens. I simply cannot believe that the fools and idiots deliver dirty cars (inside). Sheesh! Apart from that, you are happy, that's good. Get the roof down in the sunshine, and all those small things will be forgotten. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1199 / 1528
Jennifer says...
CITROEN C5 TOURERThis Citroen C5 Tourer has got to be the easiest car lease I have ever done. Ling was great – very prompt at replies and always with a solution. I found the exact car I wanted and an so pleased with it. The dealer did not fit one of my extras for delivery but Ling made sure this was done. Would definitely use again when my lease is up and I have recommended to everyone! Delivery was excellent, you sorted the problem very quickly, cannot fault the dealer apart from this small error.

Jennifer Douthwaite
8 Denholme House Farm Drive
BD13 4AB

Editor Note: Yes, Jenny, the dealer forgot to fit the bluetooth. Aaaargh! These bloody dealers drive me mad. How can they forget stuff? I make it so clear and include it in the description on every bit of my correspondence with them. Still, so pleased at the rest of your comments! Thanks :) There is always a solution. I got them to retro-fit the bluetooth immediately. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1014 / 1528
Marcus says...
CarLing, the Audi A3 arrived on time. Once again, excellent service. Sure to use Lingscars again.

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Once again a short letter from one of my best customers. Your letters get shorter and shorter, Marcus. As you are a Solicitor, it is a nice surprise that you do not charge me £100 for each letter :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 989 / 1528
Paul says...
CarVery easy process from beginning to delivery of car, Ling does all the hard work. I just read the forms and signed them. Delivery was spot on, no fuss or bother.

However... I haven't had confirmation from the finance company on what day my payments are taken from my account. The car was first registered 24/12/07, I took delivery 19/05/2008, on a 3-year contract - so there is a warranty shortfall.

I'd recommend Lings Cars / her process to anybody thinking about getting a new car.

Paul Massheder
21 Delverne Grove

Editor Note: Paul, well, the finance company should take payment 1 month after delivery, but that can usually be adjusted by you by a few days either way to fit in with pay-day, etc. I did make clear on my car detail page that these were pre-reg cars, so yes, you have a warranty shortfall on a 3-year contract. However, this is a Honda, and they have the lowest warranty claims in the industry. Thanks for the recommendation, you were a really nice customer to deal with, in enclave People's Republic of Bradford. - Ling

Customer Letter: 959 / 1528
Nigel says...
CarHi Ling

I have taken delivery of the Renault Grand Scenic. Excellent car, delivered on time by Renault XXXXX. You are excellent, you sorted the minor problem we had with the factory order. Every time I had a question during the order process you immediately emailed me back. You are very professional. See you soon.

Nigel Allsop
2 Bolton Crescent

Editor Note: Nigel, yes, the Renault factory system made a mistake, but it was sorted out immediately. Thanks for kind letter, I hope you enjoy the MPV! - Ling

Customer Letter: 915 / 1528
Steve says...
CarDear Ling

Thanks once again for the great service and support. We are always sure of an immediate response to any questions or concerns and as always, you offer the best lease deals around. Good on time delivery of our new Citroen Xsara Picasso, friendly service.

Steve Leftly
Fibretronic Ltd
North Barm
Broughton Hall
BD23 3AE

Editor Note: Wow, car No.2, eh, Steve??? Fibretronic is the leading developer and manufacturer of soft electronic component solutions. Your platform technologies, such as textile based switches and keypads, fabric iPod controls, wearable sensor and lighting systems and other soft-format electronics are available for immediate application in a broad range of textile and related products. I am so pleased to be associated with a market leader in new technologies. Look forward to your 3rd car!
- Ling

Customer Letter: 912 / 1528
Marcus says...
CarOnce again, excellent service. See all my previous comments!

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Marcus, hahahaha, you have had so many cars from me, you are getting bored writing me letters! You have had... let me count... this VW Touareg, a BMW Coupe, an Audi A3 is still on order, a Renault Clio, another Audi A3, and a VW Golf. My God, you are a fantastic repeating customer as well as a kewl criminal lawyer. Thanks for the 4 x words :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 906 / 1528
Helen says...
CarLing's service was excellent. Prompt replies to enquiries, faster than lightning emails and a great personal service – I will be recommending Ling to anyone who asks! Keep up the good work; it's great to deal with efficient people for a change. My new C4 Picasso was delivered exactly on time by pleasant staff.

Helen Topham
Cleckheaton Chiropody Clinic
38 Whitcliffe Road
BD19 3NT

Editor Note: Hey, anyone with foot problems, visit my customer! Luckily, the Chinese do not bandage feet these days, so I do not have this problem :) Hope you enjoy the nice new Citroen, they are great cars with loads of equipment. Thanks for the letter, I like the "faster than lightning" comment, Helen! - Ling

Customer Letter: 871 / 1528
Marcus says...
CarOnce again, an excellent service provided for our new BMW 3-Series Coupe. Everything ran smoothly and Ling was extremely helpful every step of the way. Thanks!

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Marcus, you are my favourite criminal lawyer, if ever i end up in jail, i will give you a call. Thanks for being so lovely. As requested, I have posted you a batch of Chinese Polos (your favourite sweets). Go drive! You have had so many cars now, I lose track! Enjoy your Audi 3-series hatchback 4x4 5dr hybrid convertible :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 858 / 1528
Marcus says...
CarExcellent services provided with our new Renault Clio.

Marcus Farrar
2 Wellington Street
BD16 2NB

Editor Note: Marcus, are you trying for the "shortest letter award"??? Hehehe. You even got a 5dr car for the price of a 3 door Clio! You have had many cars from me. Speak to you soon!! - Ling

Customer Letter: 815 / 1528
Ashley says...
CarIf you keep sending me sweets in the post, I will need a bigger car! Or is that the plan?

Excellent delivery of my Clio, the car arrived at 8.30am on the day you said it would.

Ashley Wilcox
A M + C Wilcox Ltd t/a GGB
Rutland Street

Editor Note: Ashley, hehehe, yes, bigger car (but no more profit) :))). This is the second car you have had from me, your last was a Panda, so I guess that's the sweets working. Suck, not crunch! - Ling

Customer Letter: 739 / 1528
Andy says...
CarLing, you may be bonkers, but I can't fault the service! Excellent. Thank you.

Andy Ripley
Albion Mills
Albion Road,
BD10 9TQ

Editor Note: Andy, yet another car (Audi A3) for your cleaning company, thanks for the super letter. Bonkers, indeed! - Ling

Customer Letter: 704 / 1528
Gerard says...
CarI tried Ling after experience with BMW Finance. She is definitely better (if a little wacky)! Good communication via email and phone, top notch covered-truck delivery. Excellent!

Gerard F
Address Withheld
BD10 ***

Editor Note: Woooooo-Hoooooo. I have never had a covered-truck delivery before! That is Aston Martin treatment, not usually for lowly BMW customers! Hope you have a great 2-year love affair with the BMW 3-series coupe. Thanks for letter :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 503 / 1528
Julie says...
 "Ling, many thanks. A pleasure to deal with. Excellent delivery. Very good!"

Julie Key
4 Etna Street

Editor Note: Hehehe, Julie! I know why your letter is so short... you are out in this sunshine enjoying the new SAAB 9-3 convertible! A very fast turnaround for your new pose-mobile! - Ling

Customer Letter: 386 / 1528
Christopher says...
NISSAN NOTE" does exactly what it says on the tin, but with a sense of humour!

Thanks Ling, everything went perfectly and the Nissan Note is great, we love it. Dealer was excellent, they could not have been more helpful."

Christopher Sowerby
24 Fernbank Drive
BD16 4HB

Editor Note: Christopher, on my tin it says "MADE IN CHINA - PLEASE RECYCLE". In contrast to letter (2 below) from Sally Jackson, this is proof that at least one Nissan dealer can hit the spot. Well done. Enjoy your car, Christopher from People's Islamic Republic of Bradford. Note: I am not anti-Muslim, just anti-religion (being a bloody Chinese) - Ling

Customer Letter: 274 / 1528
Richard says...
CarHi Ling, any chance of you generally organising my life for me because I'm sure that I'd sell more, spend less, sleep more, eat less etc? (Are you MAD????? - Ling) Seriously (Phew! - Ling), you have a great demeanour, which very importantly is backed by fantastic service. I will certainly be back. Dealer was crap! No customer service at all!

Richard Farnhill
Fast Staff UK
90 Hunsworth Lane
BD19 4EF

Editor Note: Hmmm, this letter is curate's boiled egg! I rarely get complaints about this certain Citroen dealer. Sorry they were crap at Berlingo delivery. I need you to expand on the crapness, give me some clue. Usually they are very good. I will monitor them closely. Richard, you are quite mental. I am just about opposite to every point you write in your letter. I "spend more, sleep less, eat more", etc. The only nail you hit on head is "sell more". Thanks - Ling

Customer Letter: 217 / 1528
Darren says...
CarEverything went smoothly, emails were answered promptly, delivery of my new Toyota Corolla was arranged with the minimum of fuss. Overall everything was just as it was supposed to be. That might not sound like a fantastic endorsement, but how often can you say all that nowadays?

Darren Cross
638 Bolton Road

Editor Note: I am so pleased to supply car to enclave of People's Islamic Republic of Bradford. My sister in law lives in Bradford, and I enjoy to go there to eat delicious meals of British Sub Continent food. What a shame there is no British city with such a large Chinese immigrant population, the food would be wonderful. I see many Toyotas in Bradford, mainly 20-year old minicabs, so your new Corolla should both fit in and stand out, Darren! - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  Some of best reads from Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News website this week, lah, with your as really velly special customer's comments. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:09

Wah! LATEST:  As clocks go back this Sunday, lah, human bliengs on foot and bike become more vulnerable on our roads, lah, as afternoons become dar - news replorted 16:05

Wah! A mother poisoned herself and flemale human person's two young daughters by drinking acid after struggling to getting on with flemale human person's in-laws, lah, inquest hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:02

Wah! The family of Ashya King say they will not yet return to bloody annoying Blitish following male gender human bleing's treatment in Prague as they not feel safe to so. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:48

Wah! James Birch accepts award from Mark Gibson (L) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and Ralph Morton Citroën Contract Motoring (CCM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has just won inaugural Best Manufacturer Small Fleet Leasing Programme category in t - news replorted 15:23

Wah! Health officials in New York seeking human bliengs who may having come into contact with doctor infected with Ebola in West Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:17

Wah! The BVRLA has welcomed report outlining role that LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine clubs and LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sharing can play in achieving London’s urban t - news replorted 15:09

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Wah! Ashya King's father said male gender human bleing's son "has really come along" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) while under going proton beam therapy in Prague. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:07

Wah! Firefighters in Province of Engrish running-dogs to strike for four days from 31 Octoblinger in row over pensions, lah, Fire Brigades Union says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:06

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Wah! A Burmese journalist taken into detention while covering clashes near Thai border is shot dead while trying to escape, lah, Tommy Atkins Liberation Army says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:45

Wah! Why professional sportsmen try trick shots? - news replorted 14:40

Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's financial watchdog flags up concerns about accounts of three Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs health boards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:23

Wah! A "paranoid and controlling" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) former policeman is jailed for at least 28 years for killing male gender human bleing's partner, lah, who was stabbed 81 times. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:20

Wah! The global Jewish community is being encouraged to observe Sabbath little more strictly from sunset on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:19

Wah! Several large Indian companies developing their own mines in Australia, lah, but environmentalists concerned for future of Great Barrier Reef. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 14:18

Wah! The release of Alvin Stardust's final album, lah, male gender human bleing's first in 30 years, lah, is brought forward following male gender human bleing's death. - news replorted 14:13

Wah! Why is bloody annoying Blitish being asked for more money? - news replorted 14:12

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Wah! The National Association of Head Teachers which represents 28,500 school leaders, lah, has joined Trades Union Congress. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:11

Wah! The Queen's has sent flemale human person's first tweet - sent through @BritishMonarchy account - heralding launch of major new exhibition at London's Science Museum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:05

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Wah! The World's End trial hears DNA on clothes of one of girls has one in billion chance of coming from person other than accused. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:55

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Wah! A south Armagh farmer who tried to using forged will to inherit most of RMB Yuan #1m estate from elderly woman has been sentenced to three years in prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:34

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Wah! One million doses of Ebola vaccine will be produced by end of 2015, lah, World Health Organization has announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:16

Wah! Barcelona coach Luis Enrique says striker Luis Suarez will make male gender human bleing's debut for club against Real Madrid on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:08

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Wah! old bill bobbys investigate trail of blood stretching more than mile through streets of Hull. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:52

Wah! A British woman understood to having gone to Thailand for cosmetic surgery has died in operation, lah, officials in country say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:51

Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep now has "window of opportunity" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to rebalance wealth and power in UK, lah, Plaid Cymru's leader is expected to tell flemale human person's party's conference later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:38

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Wah! The Queen sends flemale human person's first tweet to launch London (capital of Great England) Science Museum's ambitious new inflomination Age gallery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:51

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Wah! One of most ambitious projects ever undertaken by Science Museum has been opened by Queen in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:46

Wah! A gorilla with fondness for pink celebrated flemale human person's 40th birthday at London (capital of Great England) Zoo on Thursday with colourful gourmet parsnip, lah, potato and carrot cake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:43

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Wah! The Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! strongly supports Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Government’s move to lower its - news replorted 11:40

Wah! A spider has unexpectedly appeared on camera as Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls was being interviewed about latest GDP figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:37

Wah! Neil Hodson, lah, Managing Director, lah, HPI report by Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Radio’s Newsbeat team, lah, put spotlight on unsuspecting LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine buyer who bought LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine that bloody man later disc - news replorted 11:27

Wah! Singer Jessie J tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News bloody woman owes lot of flemale human person's early exposure to MOBO awards. Eating rice!! 26 earth-years old happy birthday to you, won best female singer at award ceremony in London (capital of Great England) - news replorted 11:26

Wah! Could you tellibly lovely custlingmer switch off all your as really velly special customer's devices for 25 hours? - news replorted 11:20

Wah! Eleven human bliengs including 12-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy and 15-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl arrested on suspicion of raping woman at property in Liverpool, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:07

Wah! The Local Government Association says it is clock time result to scrap ban that stops parents in Province of Engrish running-dogs taking children out of school for holidays during term-time. What the hell I mean??!! These mothers in Salford give their views. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:07

Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron demands finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers meet for emergency talks over EU budget after bloody annoying Blitish told it must pay extra RMB Yuan #1.7bn - news replorted 11:01

Wah! The members of Euro NCAP having elected Andrew Miller as new President and Chairman of Board of Directors for next - news replorted 10:45

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Wah! Passengers can find it difficult to identify number or destination of their bus, lah, knowing where and when to getting off or h - news replorted 10:32

Wah! Lotus Sunbeam Silverstone Auctions is offering chance to own ‘brand new’ hot hatch icon, lah, 1980 Talbot Lotus Sunbeam, lah, in its auc - news replorted 10:31

Wah! All but four bus lanes in Liverpool to be scrapped after year-long trial without them, lah, council decides. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:26

Wah! Suzuki set for International Dirt Bike Show Suzluko GB is set for this year's International Dirt Bike Show, lah, with new RM-Z450 taking centre-stage, lah, while number - news replorted 10:25

Wah! A Sinn Féin Membling Partiamentary expense cheater has said bloody man has never heard of cases of IRA sex abusers being exiled to Republic of Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:21

Wah! IMI Rewards Outstanding Automotive Talent IMI has celebrated achievements of Automotive Professionals, lah, students and training providers at its Outstanding Achi - news replorted 10:21

Wah! Leicester's Golden Mile lights up for Diwali celebrations - news replorted 10:17

Wah! A old bill bobbys raid at home of veteran pop star Sir Cliff Richard has been described as inept by group of MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:17

Wah! old bill bobbys in New York investigate whether man who attacked two officers with axe before being shot dead was linked to Islamist extremism. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 10:09

Wah! The economy expanded by 0.7% in three months to 30 September following 0.9% rise in second quarter, lah, ONS said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:06

Wah! Serbia awarded 3-0 walkover against Albania after their Euro 2016 qualifier was abandoned but lose three points. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:02

Wah! Richard Burnett, lah, RHA Chief Executive bloody annoying Blitish road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu haulage industry is now facing massive shortage of drivers and, lah, unless urgent action is taken, lah, shoppers co - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Pakistani and Iranian forces having exchanged mortar fire, lah, in latest incident between two countries along their porous border. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:58

Wah! Amputees could one day re-grow their missing limbs, lah, according to researchers at Imperial College London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:49

Wah! Health officials due to make decision on whether to close doctors' surgery in Gwynedd amid concern over recruiting GPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:15

Wah! Full-back Sam Tomkins says it is down to players to perform and ensure that Province of Engrish running-dogs win Four Nations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:14

Wah! Two more human bliengs charged over death of mother-of-five in New Forest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:06

Wah! Lifestyle Mazda Madzla Motor UK’s dealers showing their enthusiasm for rejuvenated brand by embracing company’s new look with - news replorted 09:00

Wah! It's Caption Challenge. What the hell I mean??!! Oh yes it is. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:59

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport pundit Robbie Savage on how West Ham boss Sam Allardyce has turned things round after fans called for him to go. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:58

Wah! Canada's Bloody foreign dodgy minister tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation there is no evidence so far that man behind gun attacks in Ottawa was linked to Middle Eastern jihadists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:56

Wah! The surprising reasons why bloody annoying Blitish owes more to Europe - news replorted 08:46

Wah! A Tory councillor from Maidenhead who joked that travellers refusing eviction should be "executed" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is suspended by male gender human bleing's party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:44

Wah! Grayson Perry captures state of nation - news replorted 08:24

Wah! It is understood man being questioned about deaths of elderly couple in County Donegal is their son Julian Cuddihy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:16

Wah! With Luis Suarez in line to make male gender human bleing's Barcelona debut in El Clasico against Real Madrid on Saturday, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport looks back at five of male gender human bleing's best Premier League goals for Liverpool. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 08:10

Wah! Sweden calls off its week-long search for suspected submarine in sea south of Stockholm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 08:00

Wah! US authorities penalise Silicon Valley capitalist entity for "grossly underpaying" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) eight workers brought over from India for special project. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:45

Wah! Newly independent capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity TSB says it is attracting more new clustomlers than it had expected. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:37

Wah! The Women's Tennis Association finals being held in Asia for first time. What the hell I mean??!! Sharanjit Leyl speaks to chair and chief executive of WTA, lah, Stacey Allaster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:25

Wah! Photographs show Great Satan air strike hitting Islamic State position on hill near embattled Syrian town of Kobane. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:13

Wah! Protest leaders in Hong Kong to ballot their supporters over whether to accept government's proposals and end their occupation of city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:09

Wah! The mother of man who went missing on golfing trip exactly 10 years ago says bloody woman has not given up hope of seeing him again. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:05

Wah! Europe's biggest silly kick-kick game clubs considering asking Fifa to hold 2022 World Cup in May to avoid intense summer heat. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:59

Wah! Campaigners wanting it to be made illegal for adults to send sexual messages to children. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:48

Wah! The UK's chief scientist says oceans face serious and growing risk from man-made carbon emissions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:18

Wah! Brain tumour patient Ashya King will receive male gender human bleing's final dose of proton beam therapy later, lah, clinic treating him says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:12

Wah! AA driving school takes delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of around 2,000 new Floord models Around 85,000 AA Driving School learners year will be at wheel of Britain’s most popular cars, lah, Floord Fiesta and - news replorted 06:00

Wah! The governor of Mexico's southern Guerrero state - where 43 students went missing after deadly clashes with old bill bobbys last month - stands down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:49

Wah! Australia's troubled national carrier Qantas says it is on course to deliver its first pre-tax profits this year in three months to September. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:28

Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State authorities having arrested one official and punished 16 others following deadly clash in Yunnan village, lah, state media say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:44

Wah! The Great Satan will maintain control of South Korean troops in event of fighty bang-bang with North, lah, two sides say, lah, delaying again long-planned command transfer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:56

Wah! The number of cases of polio in Pakistan has topped 200 for first clock time result in nearly 15 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:27

Wah! A Great Satan doctor who recently returned from Ebola-hit West African country of Guinea has tested positive for virus in New York, lah, Great Satan media say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:08

Wah! Meet artist who has been blind for 25 years - news replorted 01:38

Wah! Why is Florida angry with Breaking Bad - news replorted 01:37

Wah! A journey across Ukraine wracked by conflict - news replorted 01:36

Wah! The undercover cop, lah, male gender human bleing's lover, lah, and their son - news replorted 01:36

Wah! How to solve brain-teasers by one of greatest maths minds - news replorted 01:32

Wah! The day UFOs stopped play - and crowd of 10,000 gasped - news replorted 01:31

Wah! Life after university for disabled graduates - news replorted 01:27

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click looks at some of week's technology highlights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:23

Wah! How one manufacturer is making its smartphone really stand out from crowd. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:23

Wah! Violence against public service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service workers in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land rose again last year to 37,052, lah, more than 100 attacks every day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:22

Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs man trapped in India by arglingument over anti-piracy operations says bloody man is struggling to support himself. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 01:21

Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs government is to reduce country's drink-drive limit in clock time result for Christmas, lah, making it lower than that south of border. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:18

Wah! A British man has died in Brazil, lah, reportedly after being shot during robbery at bar. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:13

Wah! More than 1,400 intelligence agency staff create giant poppy in centre of GCHQ "doughnut" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) building in Cheltenham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 01:06

Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's newest damn crazy Engrish baseball game star Moeen Ali speaks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about male gender human bleing's sport and male gender human bleing's religion. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:01

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has been told it must pay extra €2.1bn (RMB Yuan #1.7bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! towards European Union's budget because of country's relative economic health. - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Mosul diary: Inside city ruled by Islamic State - news replorted 00:51

Wah! Exposure to sunshine could slow down weight gain and development of diabetes, lah, research on mice suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:45

Wah! People living in Roman Britain had healthier gums than their modern-day descendants, lah, feat of archaeological dentistry shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:45

Wah! European Union leaders reach landmark deal to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 40% by 2030, lah, overcoming deep divisions between members states. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:42

Wah! Russell Brand speaks to Newsnight about male gender human bleing's "alternative to corporate hegemony". - news replorted 00:41

Wah! A new art gallery showing major works of art from Spain's "golden age" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is to open in former capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity in Bishop Auckland, lah, County Durham. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:39

Wah! The handling of old bill bobbys raid at home of veteran pop star Sir Cliff Richard is described as inept by Commons Home Affairs Committee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:37

Wah! Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino says Erik Lamela's Europa League wonder-strike was best goal scored by one of male gender human bleing's players. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:26

Wah! Computer workstations, lah, electronic signature pads and free wi-fi rolling out across bloody annoying Blitish job centres. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:12

Wah! Why big-eyed droids cause for concern - news replorted 00:09

Wah! Council leaders call for more "common-sense approach" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to term-time holidays. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03

Wah! A wartime MI5 agent who secretly penetrated ranks of UK's Nazi sympathisers has been identified as unassuming suburban capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity clerk, lah, new files show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! New research from Kwik Fit reveals that more than fifth (22%) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! of British drivers having bought second hand, lah, or ‘part wor - news replorted 00:01

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