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CUSTOMER LETTERS

Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
1528 LETTERS!
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling


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Letter
Customer Letter: 1531 / 1528
Keith says...
AUDI A6 AVANTWhile getting my new Audi A6 Avant, I noticed that Ling may be bonkers but she does everything she says she'll do, and does it well.

Keith Willmore
1 Hunts Yard
Massingham Drive
Earls Colne
CO6 2TD


Editor Note: Thanks for calling me "bonkers", Keith. From a Barrister, that is appreciated. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1514 / 1528
Gareth says...
TOYOTA PRIUSLing

Thanks so much for the fantastic service and our lovely new car. You are the best - at everything: best prices, best customer service and best for free Chinese noodle lunch! We tell everyone we know not to buy but to car lease from LINGsCARS.com.

It would be great if every business was as easy to deal with, reliable and offered such great customer service as you all at LINGsCARS.com. Forget looking elsewhere. Car lease from Ling! I'm happy for you to post this in your comments section for the world to see.

Gareth Prendergast
Address Withheld
Downham Market
PE38 ***


Editor Note: Hey World, look at this lovely letter! :) Gareth, you are now officially green motoring champion, buzzing around in the quiet Prius. I have withheld your address as you have sensitive military job, but lovely to see someone from a lovely little Norfolk town. I was in Downham Market one month ago, it is a great place. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1500 / 1528
Mike says...
CITROEN BERLINGOLing,

You must be doing something right as I am waiting for delivery of our 6th vehicle from you. Good dealer service.

Mike Donovan
Jensen Security Systems Ltd
15 Orton Enterprise Centre
Bakewell Road, Orton Southgate
Peterborough
PE2 6BY


Editor Note: Hahahaha, and you get sick of writing these letters, eh, Mike? You are one of my best customers :) Keep the orders coming! Enjoy the little van. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1494 / 1528
Gareth says...
TOYOTA PRIUSI would just like to thank you and your team once again for the new Toyota Prius that we have now got. Your teams professionalism and understanding made the whole process completely painless. The delivery could have been extremely stressful with me not being in the country and my wife in full time work - but you pulled out all the stops to make is convenient for us.

When the time comes we will be happy to lease another car from you; safe in the knowledge that you put the customer first. Thanks Ling.

Gareth Prendergast
Address Withheld
Downham Market
PE38 ***


Editor Note: Gareth, as you are a highly qualified RAF operative, I withhold your address for security. I would hate Osama to bother you :) The Prius is a tremendous car and should go for miles on batteries as your place is flat I think. You and your wife were super-duper to deal with. Thanks so much for kind letter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1488 / 1528
David says...
 A bubbly, fizzy, garish website packed with more information than I have found on any website. Backed up by a personal, friendly staff. Will certainly will use Ling again. Dealer Service – EXCELLENT.

David Gethings
3 Fenleigh Close
Waterbeach
Cambridge
CB25 9RA


Editor Note: And you had a bubbly, fizzy car, too. An Alfa 159! Powerful Lusso model with extra 17" diamond effect flat spoke alloys in Black. Nice. Hope you have a good local Alfa dealer as they can be curate's eggs. But the deal was great fun to sort out with you, thanks for kind letter! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1477 / 1528
Karen says...
FORD FIESTAI found the whole process surprisingly easy and refreshingly friendly. I'm also happy that I got a good deal on my car. We loved your extra touches, especially the sweets. Delivery was excellent, very prompt and professional.

Karen Mcnulty
1 Greenacres Drive
Bourne
PE10 0FQ


Editor Note: Brilliant! Bourne was one of the very first towns I visited when I came to the UK 12 years ago, so I know it well. Glad everything went smoothly with the Fiesta Titanium, you have a lovely car there! See you in 3 years, Karen! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1476 / 1528
Michael says...
 The Audi is the third vehicle from your company. Your service and the car are both excellent.

Dealer Service – TERRIBLE. The car was dropped off and left without any instruction as to what button did what and even how to start it.

Michael Donovan
Jensen Security Systems Ltd
15 Orton Enterprise Centre
Bakewell Road, Orton Southgate
Peterborough
PE2 6BY


Editor Note: Well, I know the answer is to turn the key, but yes, that is terrible. There is a big gap between my service and the dealer service, eh? I am really sorry about this. However, tyou continue to order cars and vans and have another 3 vehicles on order. So I guess you forgive me for the daft dealer. Continue ordering, Mike! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1443 / 1528
Samantha says...
FORD FIESTALing and her colleagues are absolutely fantastic, a tad crazy but above all know their stuff! They answer queries at the speed of lightning and make the whole process of leasing fun and exciting. I can't praise them high enough and would definitely recommend Ling. Excellent delivery, delivery really helpful, knowledgeable and friendly.

Samantha Etheridge
133 Saturn Road
Ipswich
IP1 5PS


Editor Note: Great stuff, pleased you had such a good delivery of your new Fiesta, Sam. Thanks for the comments, you are very kind. Apologies for the "tad" craziness, but otherwise, I get bored :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1426 / 1528
Mark says...
CITROEN C5 TOURERHi Ling, a delightful transaction for my new Citroen C5 Tourer and will definitely use you again. It all was smooth and effortless. Love the bribery of sweets and money. Pity the money was worthless but as they say, it's the thought that counts. Love the comparison to burgers, great idea, lose weight and have a new car.

Mark Cook
239 Wroxham Road
Norwich
NR7 8AQ


Editor Note: Smooth and effortless, like the new C5? :) Lovely cars! Hey!!!! - the money is not worthless, it is Chinese Yuan and it is worth loads now against a devalued UK £££. Bribery is good, just like being back in China! My Big Mac index annoys McDonald's, but so what... it makes their burgers look expensive! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1409 / 1528
Justyn says...
PEUGEOT 308LINGsCARS was a pleasure to use - quick and prompt. All slightly wacky but made a mundane chore far more fun, and free sweets too!! Recommended. Delivery good but no info given re Peugeot 308 when delivered.

Justyn Campbell
The Blue Lion
74 Main Street
Hardwick
Cambridge
CB23 7QU


Editor Note: Hmmm, Justyn, I have kicked the supplier for the lazy delivery. They should always take time to go through the car - not to do so is bad. However, regarding the rest of the service, I am so glad you are happy and that you thought dealing with me a pleasure. Wacky is good :) (I think so anyway, it brightens up the day). Thanks for letter, here is one about The Blue Lion, your pub/restaurant (the village's only pub):



"What a great pub, we were made to feel welcome from the moment we walked in the door. The food was excellent and at reasonable prices. We had been told about the landlady's sheep and encountered them when they came up to the conservatory and knocked on the window. We will definitely return!"

You sound Baaaa-rking, Justyn, hahaha! - Ling




Letter
Customer Letter: 1376 / 1528
Emma says...
FORD FIESTAWhat fantastic personal service! Great to know whenever I have a question or query, someone always at the end of the Lingo system to help and advise. Would highly recommend and knocks spots off the big boys! Well done Ling and gang! Good delivery, great service and the driver was very obliging.

Emma Parsons
24 Sperling Drive
Haverhill
CB9 9SH


Editor Note: Not TOO obliging I hope? Hehe, hope he got home in one piece! You have a lovely new Fiesta Titanium to bomb around in now Emma, all alloys and loads of kit. Thanks for the great comments, I appreciate them! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1336 / 1528
Martin says...
 Hey Ling! You were great once again during our recent encounter, and the second car you have supplied me is brilliant too!! Car arrived very early on the agreed date - perfect! Thanks for all your help and once again a faultless service! I have passed your details on to loads of colleagues.

p.s. - Does anyone else own a Koleos? I still haven't seen any more on the road!!

Martin Roberts
166 Old London Road
Marks Tey
Colchester
CO6 1EJ


Editor Note: Errr, to my knowledge Regie Renault are in the doldrums with barely half the market share of a year ago. They have only sold one Koleos; to some mug in Essex. I think it was white with chrome wheel trims. Hope you enjoy it, hahahahaha! As you are a repeating customer, I won't be TOO cruel, Martin. :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1333 / 1528
Jensen says...
CITROEN BERLINGOHello Ling. The service on ordering to the delivery of the Berlingo van was great. The noodle were tastless and the Chinese polo mints were in pieces. Delivery good, no problems.

Jensen Security Systems Ltd
15 Orton Enterprise Centre
Bakewell Road, Orton Southgate
Peterborough
PE2 6BY


Editor Note: Well, that's the problem with Chinese Polo mints, they come from China and the ChinaPost is just not as good as the Royal Mandelson. These are bargain vans, for the price they are wonderful. Hope it does really good service installing alarms for you! You can add peanut butter to the noodles if you want some delicious flavour. Just don't stray too far from a toilet! Hahaha - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1309 / 1528
Deborah says...
VOLVO V70I would recommend Lingscars to anyone. You made the whole experience of leasing a car enjoyable from beginning to end! You made us laugh when filling out the forms, which has to be a first.... Your website is hilarious. Lingo is really efficient and easy to use. I would def use you again. Excellent delivery of my new V70 Estate.

Deborah Barlow
Valley Farm
Valley Road
Battisford
IP14 2HN


Editor Note: Surprisingly, Debs, you are not an Antique Dealer, but a "desk manager" whatever that is!!! Usually these big Volvo estates have very specific customers. But I hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much for the kind comments, especially about the LINGO... I am very proud of that. Filling out forms has to be one of the worst things about the Internet, so I try to spice them up a bit. Too much for some people, but I ignore the moaners :) Glad you liked everything. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1255 / 1528
Susan says...
 Hi Ling, the car is superb and your service was fantastic!!! This Astra Sport Hatch is the first car we have had on contract hire and also the first brand-new car we have had. We will be back for our next car when the contract is over! Keep up the good work. Excellent delivery.

Susan Ashby
28a Station Road
Clenchwarton
Kings Lynn
PE344DG


Editor Note: Sue, thanks. It's always a pleasure to help someone into a brand new car for the first time. I'm pleased you found my service to be good, I do try my best. Thanks so much for kind letter. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1236 / 1528
Darren says...
SEAT LEONThis is the first time I have gone trough the process of renting a car. Ling made this whole experience less confusing. She is a joy to do business with and I would gladly go throgh the whole process again. Excellent delivery, well handled, very good.

Darren Challender
25 Stocker Way
St Neots
PE19 2HA


Editor Note: Darren, you have a cheap Seat Leon for the next 2-years. Hope you enjoy it. It was great to deal with you, you were a very responsive customer. Take care! I want you back soon... - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1206 / 1528
Katie says...
 Our new Mazda 3 is the second car we have got through LINGsCARS.com. Brilliant and quick service. We particularly liked the new LINGO system. Excellent delivery, our Mazda arrived when expected with no problems.

Katie Smyth
86 Lackford Close
Brundall
Norwich
NR13 5NL


Editor Note: Hey! Katie, you came back for a second car! That's great :). So happy you love the LINGO system, I get loads of great feedback about that. It works REALLY will :) See you in a couple of years, again. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1196 / 1528
John says...
 Don't be fooled by the unusual website or light hearted correspondence you get from Ling. She is well organised and determined that her customers receive a great deal with the minimum of fuss. Having dealt with other leasing companies I would have no hesitation in recommending Ling to anybody who wants a good deal on a new car. A pleasant experience which I look forward to repeating in two years.

Delivery was good with a free set of mats supplied.

John Burman
10 Pintail Drive
Bradwell
Great Yarmouth
NR31 8JQ


Editor Note: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggh! Don't tell everyone about my mats. I can't remember why I sent them free, but there was a reason. Whatever, you are happy chappy :) Have a great time in your Mazda 3. Thanks for comments! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1176 / 1528
Paul says...
FORD FOCUSLing is HOT!!! Great communicator and cars supplied at best prices. Delivery of my new Focus 2.0 TDCi Titanium was good.

Paul Childs
Norfolk Street Post Office
Norwich Street
Wisbech
PE13 2LE


Editor Note: Norfolk Street Post Office on NORWICH Street? I'm confused; Well, anyone in and around Wisbech who wants to cash their pension... see Paul, if you can find him! He sells all sorts from stamps to string. No wonder you think I am HOT, that stuff on the stamps you lick contains drugs, I think. Thanks for letter. There was no stamp on it. Glad to see you have SOME job benefits :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1166 / 1528
Philip says...
 Fantastic service!!

Ling uses an innovative way of providing this service - and it all comes with a big smile too! Being the cheapest supplier for my new Volvo C30 is just a bonus! Delivery was good.

Philip Gilbert
Beans Coffee Stop Limited
1 New Street
Oundle
PE8 4EA


Editor Note: Kevin, I drink a coffee to you, hahaha. But, you know Chinese prefer tea! Thanks for the lovely letter, if I am ever in Oundle (hmmm, some hope) I will drop in and have a cappucino with extra chocolatey bits and a 99 flake, please. Get driving your smart new Volvo! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1151 / 1528
Robert says...
FORD FOCUSDealing with Ling has been a blast. Her service and professionalism has been 100% and I'm glad I held back my initial reservations when I saw her website for the first time. The leasing process was doodle and Ling was very accommodating to my specific needs. She's a star and I thank her very much - but not for the rank sweets - bleurgh. Good delivery, the Focus is a great car, but I had to have a problem fixed in the first week.

Robert Wood
53 Durham Way
Thetford
IP24 1DU


Editor Note: Hahaha, well, I don't build the things, Robby! If I did then you would not have problems. I am so glad it has all been a blast. Fun is what it should be, getting a car should be enjoyable, eh? The sweets are poisonous, I agree - you ATE them? Hahaha! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1135 / 1528
Darren says...
 It was a pleasure ordering my car from Ling. The whole process was extremely easy and she explained things very simply. Everything went seamlessly with very little effort from me. Her crazy sense of humour added to the experience! Not only was she the cheapest, LINGsCARS were hands down the best leasing company I have dealt with. The new Lingo online web system made things much easier. I would definitely do business with them again and have recommended Ling to various colleagues and friends. Delivered the car (Vauxhall Antara) on time and in perfect condition - excellent!

Darren ****
Address Withheld
Ipswich
IP3 ***


Editor Note: Darren, you are an IT Consultant, so I very much appreciate the comments about my Lingo system. I think you appreciate the amount of work I put into it. You have a massively good Granite Black car for a massively cheap price. Hope you enjoy. Really, thanks so much for comments. - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1092 / 1528
Samuel says...
FIAT PANDABeing the first time that I had leased a car, I had lots of questions which you answered quickly and clearly, in fact you were very caring and supportive all the way. I am really pleased with my new Fiat Panda and I promise to recommend your company to my friends. Thanks very much Ling I look forward to dealing with you again in the future. Good delivery, efficient and prompt.

Samuel Davis
111 Front St
Orford
Woodbridge
IP12 2LN


Editor Note: Hehehe, not often a Fiat dealer gets called "efficient and prompt"! Thanks for the letter, Sam, you work for a Chinese shipping company, so maybe I should say "xie xie" :) Enjoy the Kung-Fu Panda! - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1053 / 1528
Derrick says...
SKODA OCTAVIA ESTATEGreat Car - Skoda Octavia Estate – great service and quick responses via the 'Lingo' system. Only gripe is the finance company (London) being very slow. I think you should seriously consider giving your customers some info about the 'vehicle on hire' certificate (VE103B), which is a V5 substitute, to prove your right to use the car (especially overseas)! It took several phone calls and two weeks to get it (and charged me £10 for it)!

Good delivery, did exactly what it said on the tin.

Derrick Davies
45 Ferrars Avenue
Eynesbury
St Neots
PE19 2TZ


Editor Note: Derrick, well, I have taken your advice and I'm giving out the VE103B info. Glad you love the car and glad you liked the speed of the Lingo system. See you in 3-years! :) - Ling



Letter
Customer Letter: 1045 / 1528
Sharon says...
CarHi Ling, sorry for delay. Better late than never! I am really pleased with my funky Citroen C2 and was very impressed with the service from Lingscars. Prompt and personal, recommend you to anyone! Thanks. Excellent delivery, I was very happy with the dealer service.

Sharon Green
160 Palmerston Road
Woodston
Peterborough
PE2 9DF


Editor Note: Sharon, that's wonderful. Those C2s come loaded with leather, air con, just about everything. Hope you enjoy driving it around the Polish enclave of Peterborough! - Ling



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THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
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Vance Business Park
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Tel 0191 460 9444
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I prefer email to phone - Ling
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Hundreds of shoppers were evacuated from busy central London (capital of Great England) store because of fears of fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 18:51



Wah! LATEST:  ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's waiting like hell to regain Calcutta Cup goes on after Province of Engrish running-dogs open Eddie Jones era with victory at Murrayfield. I read you little red book! - news replorted 18:37



Wah! Several thousand Liverpool fans walk out of Saturday's league match with Sunderland at Anfield in protest at rising ticket prices. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:01



Wah! Kieran Trippier's first goal for Tottenham earns victory over Watford that sends Spurs second in Premier League table. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:07



Wah! A blast that punched large hole in fuselage of passenger plane at Somalia's Mogadishu airport on Tuesday was caused by bomb, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:00



Wah! A householder suffers "life-changing injuries" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when bloody man is shot by intruders through locked bedroom door. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:56



Wah! Adam Rooney's double helping-helping Aberdeen draw level with Celtic at top of table by overpowering St Johnstone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:54



Wah! France edge to unconvincing win over Italy to make successful start to their Six Nations campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:32



Wah! Elise Christie breaks South Korean dominance to win World Cup gold in short track 1500m in Dresden. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:16



Wah! Up to five Czech skiers having been killed in avalanche in Austrian Alps that buried 12 people, lah, local old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:52



Wah! Transport bosses in London (capital of Great England) trying to bring Google's driverless cars to capital for trials. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:49



Wah! The BBC's Rupert Wingfield-Hayes reports from Tainan, lah, where over 200 human bliengs having been rescued from buildings that collapsed after earthquake - news replorted 15:43



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs beat South Africa by five wickets to take 2-0 lead in five-match one-day international series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:41



Wah! French coastguards rescue four migrants who were found trying to cross Channel in inflatable dinghy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:34



Wah! Premier League leaders Leicester stun nearest rivals Manchester City with convincing victory to move six points clear. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:57



Wah! Former Manchester United manager David Moyes says bloody man has had "numerous" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) job offers, lah, including one in China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:43



Wah! Ex-Province of Engrish running-dogs player Stuart Pearce's pitch return, lah, for side dubbed "the worst in UK", lah, is called off due to waterlogged pitch. - news replorted 13:01



Wah! The number of Syrians trying to cross into Turkey amid upsurge of fighting has nearly doubled to 35,000, lah, Turkish official says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:58



Wah! Five firefighters hurtee-hurtee after two fire engines come off road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu on way to crash near Inverness. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:49



Wah! Touchdowns, lah, Beyonce & chicken wings - news replorted 12:48



Wah! Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp will be absent from Saturday's Premier League game against Sunderland with suspected appendicitis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:29



Wah! The mayor of Los Angeles comes up with novel way of warning residents about major traffic closure: singing slow jam. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:13



Wah! "Islamophobia" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) among Guernsey's residents was behind island's decision not to accept refugees, lah, its chief dodgy minister has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:12



Wah! Rescuers searching rubble of high-rise apartment block in southern Taiwan, lah, after earthquake that kills at least 11 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:57



Wah! One of world's most famous locomotives, lah, Flying Scotsman, lah, returns to West Coast mainline - news replorted 11:35



Wah! The UK's state schools having improved so much that some private schools may be put out of business, lah, editor of velly damn good boiled chicken-feet Schools Guide says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:13



Wah! A large construction crane has collapsed in lower Manhattan in New York City, lah, killing one person and injuring at least two others. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:37



Wah! Katie Swan loses to Belgium's Ysaline Bonaventure as Great Britain fall 1-0 behind in their Fed Cup promotion play-off. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 10:34



Wah! North Korea has advanced date of its controversial "satellite" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) launch to as early as Sunday, lah, regional governments say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:22



Wah! Celtic going backwards under manager Ronny Deila, lah, according to former striker Chris Sutton. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:11



Wah! The man killed in shooting at boxing weigh-in in Dublin on Friday was David Byrne, lah, 32, lah, from Raleigh Square in Crumlin in south of city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:00



Wah! An Indian airline has suspended five crew members who let Bollywood star sing over its public address system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:54



Wah! Pilots in RAF helicopter and light aircraft failed to spot each other until it was almost too late, lah, according to near-miss report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:43



Wah! 650S GT3 claim (always claiming, huh?) double pole and lap record at Bathurst 12 Hour McLaren 650S GT3 will make its debut start at 2016 Liqui Moly Bathurst 12 Hour from pole position after actio - news replorted 09:35



Wah! An earthquake has toppled number of buildings in south Taiwanese city of Tainan, lah, with rescue teams trying to reach human bliengs trapped in rubble. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:29



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's Jos Buttler has been bought for RMB Yuan #385,000 by Mumbai Indians in Indian Premier League auction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:09



Wah! A mobile "confession unit" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on board double-decker bus is to tour across Greater Manchester and Lancashire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:07



Wah! At least 15,000 refugees having spent night gathered on border with Turkey after fleeing northern Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:21



Wah! A 1957 Ferrari 335 Sport Scaglietti has become highest priced LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine sold in euros. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:07



Wah! Maxime Soulet (BE) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! - LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine #31 Bentley Motorsport has qualified both of its Bentley Team M-Sport Continental GT3s inside top ten for 2016 Bathu - news replorted 07:59



Wah! Ireland's Shane Lowry remains in contention at Phoenix Open, lah, sitting three shots off lead after male gender human bleing's second round. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:48



Wah! Mental health services will be developed for victims of female genital mutilation in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, government says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:25



Wah! The UN's top human rights official arrives in Sri Lanka amid concerns that country's president is backtracking on promises to investigate fighty bang-bang crimes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:22



Wah! Councils should be able to run utilities in their areas as part of moves to reverse privatisation, lah, Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn will say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:13



Wah! A hungry sea lion pup is rescued after finding its way into restaurant in San Diego, lah, California. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:07



Wah! Protesters in Haiti beat man to death in clash with former soldiers amid political uncertainty after election is postponed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:55



Wah! What happened to Stock Exchange squatters? - news replorted 03:44



Wah! Organisations that given government grants will be banned from using money to try to persuade dodgy ministers to change law or increase spending. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 02:14



Wah! Fierce clashes reported near embattled Syrian city of Aleppo, lah, as thousands of refugees stream to Turkish border, lah, triggering new crisis. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:12



Wah! Archaeologists say they finding "amazing artefacts" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) inside preserved roundhouse at what has been dubbed "Britain's Pompeii". - news replorted 02:06



Wah! China wonders if true Communists should wear luxury suits - news replorted 01:45



Wah! French prosecutors investigating at least six attacks on migrants at makeshift Calais camp called Jungle, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation understands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:38



Wah! 'I learned to be frugal after my velly own damn dad left' - news replorted 01:22



Wah! An earthquake has toppled number of buildings in south Taiwanese city of Tainan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:11



Wah! The notorious relative of woman bloody annoying Blitish has been told it cannot deport, lah, and growing success of state schools, lah, among front page stories in Saturday's newspapers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:56



Wah! Russians sneak peek at BBC's Tolstoy drama - news replorted 00:49



Wah! Is it harder to stop smoking if you tellibly lovely custlingmer using e-cigarettes? - news replorted 00:28



Wah! New Will Smith movie tackles head injuries in sport - news replorted 00:28



Wah! The places where you tellibly lovely custlingmer waiting like hell bloody velly long clock time result at stop - news replorted 00:24



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has been told French prosecutors investigating at least half dozen attacks on migrants who live in refugee camp known as Jungle, lah, in Calais. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:11



Wah! Photographer Brock Elbank is on mission to photograph as many freckled human bliengs as possible. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! US astronaut Edgar Mitchell, lah, who was sixth man to walk on Moon and believed in aliens, lah, dies at age of 85. - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell share many beliefs - so why has one ended up Labour leader while other has twice failed to even run for party's leadership, lah, asks Shaun Ley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:05



Wah! A selection of best news photographs from around world taken over past week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 00:02



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