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Customer car leasing letters    shout about 1350 customer letters!    Customer car leasing letters
More customer letters than any other car sales site IN THE WHOLE WORLD! - Ling

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From your area... ...or from people... ...or about a specific car!

Showing Letters from Colchester
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Customer Letter: 1531 / 1528
Keith says...
AUDI A6 AVANTWhile getting my new Audi A6 Avant, I noticed that Ling may be bonkers but she does everything she says she'll do, and does it well.

Keith Willmore
1 Hunts Yard
Massingham Drive
Earls Colne

Editor Note: Thanks for calling me "bonkers", Keith. From a Barrister, that is appreciated. - Ling

Customer Letter: 1336 / 1528
Martin says...
 Hey Ling! You were great once again during our recent encounter, and the second car you have supplied me is brilliant too!! Car arrived very early on the agreed date - perfect! Thanks for all your help and once again a faultless service! I have passed your details on to loads of colleagues.

p.s. - Does anyone else own a Koleos? I still haven't seen any more on the road!!

Martin Roberts
166 Old London Road
Marks Tey

Editor Note: Errr, to my knowledge Regie Renault are in the doldrums with barely half the market share of a year ago. They have only sold one Koleos; to some mug in Essex. I think it was white with chrome wheel trims. Hope you enjoy it, hahahahaha! As you are a repeating customer, I won't be TOO cruel, Martin. :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 921 / 1528
January says...
CarGreat service, very efficient. Not so keen on the white sweets from China but the fruit ones were rather good! I will certainly be hiring more cars through Ling.

January Baxendale
2 Clarence Villa
Church Street
CO10 8EW

Editor Note: January (what a great name), your Golf arrived quite quickly (for a VW). The sweets are a bit hit and miss, I often send out Durian Fruit sweets to customers, they are soooooooo baaaaaaaad, heheheh. Anyway, now summer is coming, you should have a lovely time posing in your Golf, even though I may have caused your teeth to fall out :) - Ling

Customer Letter: 879 / 1528
Les says...
CarDear Ling, just to let you know that the E Class Mercedes 220 was delivered spot on time as usual. Both you and I had a bit of a tussle in obtaining this particular car but I'm pleased to say your perseverance paid off.

By way of comparison, I did in fact try to procure this car through several other leasing companies advertising on the web but all fell well short of your personal standards of professionalism and straight forward dealing. I think 'personal' is the key word here. I just wish I could get as much personal commitment from my Bank Manager, as that which you obviously commit to your clients.

This is the second Mercedes that I've leased via your Company and I'm pretty certain it won't be the last.

Les Nicholl
Drakewood Properties
Hoys House
CO10 8UD

Editor Note: Les, you are excellent repeating customer, you come back for more and more punishment :) Yes, it can be hard sometimes to obtain specific cars, you wanted this one and I managed to find you one in the end. It took a while though which obviously gave you the opportunity to shop around :) Mercedes did not make it easy! I do put in lots of effort, thanks for saying that. See you soon when you have worn this Merc out! - Ling

Customer Letter: 804 / 1528
Amanda says...
CarThe sad news is the Mazda RX8 we got from you two years ago is due to go back this week (boo hoo) but the good news is, we are having great fun zipping around in our new Mini Cooper. You worked really hard for us to get the diesel Cooper with little waiting time - which is why we love you!

Pleased to say that the Mini's 80 mpg is easier on the pocket than the Mazda's 26 mpg - plus the good deal you did us - my husband says lunch is on him this time!

Amanda Jolley
Ashby House
Cock Road
Little Mapplestead

Editor Note: Well, in the current climate, I think the Mini is better than the RX8. With the fuel savings, you can have a nice holiday! Thanks for being so sweet to me :) You are a super returning customer :))) - Ling

Customer Letter: 490 / 1528
Martin says...
MAZDA MX-5"After I had chosen my car, I spent no more than 10 minutes of my own time arranging it. This is a great, fast and efficient service - I think the whole process took just 2 faxes, 2 emails and 2 telephone calls and one letter by post before my new MX 5 arrived on the agreed day and time. It arrived following a courtesy phone call the day before. That's excellent service for someone like me with a hectic lifestyle"

Martin Roberts
166 Old London Road
Marks Tey

Editor Note: Martin, the reason your car process went so smoothly is because you are such an efficient person. If only everyone was as organised as you! I agree, it was a piece of cake. Look forward to your return in 2-years - Ling

Customer Letter: 286 / 1528
Patrick says...
 "Dear Ling,

Just a short note to say how delighted we are with our new Mazda RX-8. Dealing with you was not only easy and straight forward, but fun too, and we saved money too, so that can't be bad! The excellent dealer gave a very good delivery service. Keep up the good work!"

Patrick and Amanda Jolley
Ashby House
Cock Road
Little Maplestead

Editor Note: Ooooh, I am jealous that you have RX8, Amanda, I borrowed one for a week; very smooth, very fast, very sexy car. Start collecting petrol station token points, you will win LOTS of things, driving an RX-8 - Ling

Customer Letter: 170 / 1528
Paul says...
CarThird vehicle in 18 months from Ling and her service is as good as ever. Thanks for everything, dealer was excellent, and thanks for the ginger sweet, very nice, please send more.

Paul Westow
Ashley's of Frinton Windows
2 The Triangle
Rochford Way
Frinton on Sea
CO13 0AU

Editor Note: Ho! You write nice letter like this, Paul, you can have many sweets. I send. Also try red tea flavour, very wierd but strong, too. Enjoy white L200 pick up with spoiler, loud stereo, roll-bar, chrome spinning wheel trims... I hear Essex customer likes these things??? - Ling

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Wah! LATEST:  Kumho Tire’s CEO, lah, Kim Chang-kyu, lah, last week (May 17) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! announced that capitalist entity is making moves to broaden agreement - news replorted 16:10

Wah! LATEST:  All-new Mazda2 Madzla has given its Motability programme spring boost with inclusion of its all-new supermini model in scheme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:00

Wah! Former bloody annoying Blitish Prime dodgy minister Tony "trust me" Blair is to stand down from male gender human bleing's role as Middle East envoy representing US, lah, Russia, lah, UN and EU, lah, sources confirm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 15:57

Wah! US Fifa corruption inquiry covers bribes allegedly paid for 2010 World Cup in S Africa and Fifa presidency in 2011 - news replorted 15:53

Wah! Third seed and 2014 runner-up Simona Halep is knocked out of French Open by world number 70 Mirjana Lucic-Baroni. - news replorted 15:44

Wah! The trader at centre of Libor rate-rigging trial tried to influence other banks to manipulate key benchmark rate, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:29

Wah! The FBI gives news briefing over Fifa corruption allegations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:26

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Wah! Vauxhall Heritage Centre open day trio of milestones Vlauxhall will be showcasing its collection of historic cars to public for one day only on Sunday 14th June, lah, from 10a - news replorted 15:00

Wah! Winners crowned at CCR Mitsubishi’s Annual Awards winners having been announced at annual award ceremony for Mitsubishi’s largest, bloody dealering idiot place group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:57

Wah! Lydden Hill WRX 2015 dust may having settled at Lydden Hill but outstanding and record breaking World RX of Great Britain will live lon - news replorted 14:51

Wah! Has your as really velly special customer's tractor been TDI-Tun-ed? Essex-based tuning specialist TDI-Tuning is carrying out testing and demonstrations on agricultural vehicling driving car machines in June. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:32

Wah! Drinking more than five espressos worth of caffeine day may be damaging to health, lah, according to European Food Safety Authority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:28

Wah! Nigeria's Tommy Atkins Liberation Army sack at least 200 soldiers for cowardice and failure to fight against Boko Haram militants, lah, several soldiers tell BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 14:24

Wah! Wheel-to-wheel action at previous BDC Silverstone Race Day Bentley Drivers Club traditional annual Silverstone Race Day will take place on Saturday rainy coldddd month August 1st, lah, with this year’ - news replorted 14:23

Wah! Islamic State fighters having been driven out of Assyrian Christian villages they had seized in north-eastern Syria in February, lah, activists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:21

Wah! ZeroLight CEO, lah, Darren Jobling ZeroLight, lah, creator of world’s most advanced LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine configurator solution that transforms way new vehicling driving car machines speci - news replorted 14:20

Wah! A man is taken to hospital after being struck by fairground ride on Barmouth promenade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:18

Wah! An Arsenal fan from Sussex bags pair of FA Cup final tickets sent into stratosphere ahead of Saturday's match. - news replorted 13:46

Wah! Are erasers in school 'an instrument of devil'? - news replorted 13:38

Wah! At least 17 Iraqi soldiers having been killed in wave of suicide bombings by Islamic State militants in Anbar province, lah, security officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:29

Wah! Are human bliengs more likely to vote Yes? - news replorted 13:25

Wah! Ambulance response times improve for fourth month in row, lah, according to latest figures. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:12

Wah! Children as young as five having been seen running across railway line between platforms at station in Edinburgh, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:10

Wah! A British man who attempted to join Islamic State in Syria is jailed for six years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:05

Wah! Huw Edwards commentates as Queen arrives to deliver flemale human person's speech, lah, setting out plans of Conservative government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:45

Wah! New Province of Engrish running-dogs coach Trevor Bayliss turned down job in 2014 and again last week, lah, says former colleague Geoff Lawson. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:42

Wah! An eight earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy dies and two 10-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boys hurtee-hurtee after incident at cemetery in Glasgow. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 12:40

Wah! Access to free childcare for three-and-four-year-olds in Province of Engrish running-dogs is to double to 30 hours week under measures announced in Queen's Speech. - news replorted 12:39

Wah! IAG chief executive Willie Walsh says bloody man wantings to continue serving Belfast as capitalist entity moves towards takeover of Aer Lingus - news replorted 12:38

Wah! Ansible Motion has created new RMB Yuan #2m R&D Centre RMB Yuan #2m new research and development centre that features one of world’s most advanced vehicling driving car machine simulators has opened i - news replorted 12:30

Wah! The family of victims in suspected triple murder in Didcot describe it as "unimaginable" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) tragedy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:28

Wah! The Queen's Speech outlines bill that plans to cut RMB Yuan #10bn from business red tape by end of this Parliament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:22

Wah! Denmark's prime dodgy minister calls election for 18 June-mber month when flemale human person's centre-left coalition is expected to face tough challenge from opposition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:20

Wah! People's Choice Winner Charlie Doyle with Mark Dixon Now in its third year, lah, Beaulieu’s family fun event, lah, TRUCKMANIA, lah, super-sized celebration of all things truck-related, lah, f - news replorted 12:18

Wah! Former Falkirk Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Eric Joyce who was convicted of attacking two teenagers in "unjustified and unprovoked" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) assault is sentenced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:13

Wah! The government's legislative agenda for year ahead has been announced, lah, here's guide to bills that featured. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:10

Wah! Directly-elected "metro mayors" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) will be able to undertake functions of old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) Commissioners in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, under plans included in Queen's Speech. - news replorted 12:08

Wah! The Fifa spokesman Walter De Gregorio says it is "a hard clock time result for Fifa" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as twin corruption probes launched but that it shows Fifa is "on right track". - news replorted 12:02

Wah! JD Classics’ 1974 Floord Cologne Capri continues winning streak JD Classics’ Floord Cologne Capri has chalked up another comprehensive victory following dominant season of racing in 20 - news replorted 12:01

Wah! Honda Civic Tourer Rondla will put real-world fuel economy of its super-efficient 1.6 i-DTEC engine to ultimate test in 8,500mile - news replorted 11:56

Wah! A more rapid intervention for underperforming schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs has been announced in Queen's Speech. - news replorted 11:52

Wah! Proposed legislation to give old bill bobbys stronger powers to "target online communications" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of terrorist suspects is in Queen's Speech. - news replorted 11:50

Wah! Defending champion Maria Sharapova beats fellow Russian Vitalia Diatchenko 6-3 6-1 in French Open second round. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:47

Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish proposes to punish human bliengs who live-stream videos of child abuse over internet in same way it does those who offer pre-recorded clips. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:47

Wah! George Lendrum Managing Director, lah, Titan May 21st 2015 saw Titan celebrate its 40th anniversary. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:31

Wah! WR Aerokit Eddie Stobart Wirth Research is proud to announce launch of its all-new motorsport-inspired WR AeroKit™ for heavy velly damn good boiled chicken-feets vehicling driving car machines ( - news replorted 11:24

Wah! Stuart Ormsby of Central Garages, lah, Galashiels MG’s newest dealership, lah, in heart of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Borders, lah, has already taken orders, lah, just days after going live. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:19

Wah! Freddy Foray	Rondla Endurance Racing Team has announced that Honda’s endurance specialists Julien Da Costa, lah, Freddy Foray and Sébas - news replorted 11:02

Wah! Claude Nahum drives Shelby Daytona Coupe This year’s velly damn good boiled chicken-feetwood Revival will mark 50th anniversary of one of most iconic GT racing cars of 1960s – - news replorted 11:01

Wah! The old bridge at Toledo in Spain Countless thousands of Brits controlling in driving manner abroad on holiday each year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! Whatever purpose, lah, it makes sense to ensure that both - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Alistair Carmichael receives backing of male gender human bleing's local party in Shetlands amid calls for him to resign as Mp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 10:51

Wah! Shares in Aer Lingus rise 3% in wake of Irish government's agreement to sell its 25% stake to IAG, lah, owner of British Airways. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:45

Wah! Heatwave conditions continue to sweep India where more than 1,100 human bliengs having died in past week, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:45

Wah! Some 20,000 human bliengs in German city of Cologne forced to leave their homes as authorities diffuse one-tonne bomb from World fighty bang-bang Two. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:44

Wah! A crew abandons container ship few miles off German coast amid fears that its cargo of fertiliser could explode. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:38

Wah! Future increases in income tax personal allowance will be linked to rises in national minimum wage, lah, government announces. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:31

Wah! One team played without goal posts, lah, one played only half season - what was Jose Mourinho on about at Chelsea's awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24

Wah! The Freight Transport Association has published 20th annual edition of its ever popular European road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu Transport Guid - news replorted 10:17

Wah! Eurovision winner Mans Zelmerlow from Sweden soars up British charts to number three with male gender human bleing's upbeat song Heroes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:15

Wah! Reverend Hayley Young who contracted HIV through non-sexual attack speaks to Victoria Derbyshire programme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:15

Wah! Steve Catlin, lah, Head of Group Fleet Services at Wlokswaglon Group UK Steve Catlin has been appointed to role of Head of Group Fleet Services at Wlokswaglon Group UK, lah, taking over from Vin - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Year of investment continues for Bentley After announcing company’s largest apprentice intake in 25 years, lah, Bentley has received more applications to join - news replorted 10:00

Wah! Fifa officials hold news conference following arrest of six silly kick-kick game officials at hotel in Zurich over corruption charges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:54

Wah! Pakistani investigators detain head of global internet technology firm suspected of alleged multi-million dollar fraud selling fake degrees online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:47

Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep centre Jonathan Davies is ruled out of funny shape ball-game World Cup after suffering serious knee injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:43

Wah! The death of man who was found collapsed in street is being investigated by old bill bobbys in Swansea. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:42

Wah! An American artist has turned Van Gogh's Night Cafe into immersive virtual reality experience. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:40

Wah! The DUP says Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Assembly is entering "unchartered waters" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after Welfare Reform Bill failed to pass on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:33

Wah! A vicar who made YouTube video to tell flemale human person's congregation bloody woman was HIV positive says bloody woman has been "humbled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by their reaction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:29

Wah! New wireless partnership creates most advanced telematics solution new partnership between two leading technology firms has resulted in development of one of most advanced telem - news replorted 09:29

Wah! New York's theatreland enjoys its best ever season for 2014-2015, lah, breaking box office and attendance records. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:26

Wah! Parliamentarians in Madagascar vote to impeach President Hery Rajaonarimampianina in surprise move. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:23

Wah! Banknote printer De La Rue sees its shares lose 10% after reporting fall in profits and cut in payout to shareholders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:11

Wah! Renault-Nissan Alliance official COP21 passenger LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine partner Renault-Nissan Alliance, lah, world leader in zero-emission mobility*, lah, will provide fleet of 200 all-electric vehic - news replorted 09:11

Wah! Hyundai bloody annoying Blitish hands over ix35 Fuel Cell to global mining company Ryundali Motor bloody annoying Blitish has today officially handed over example of world’s first mass-produced fuel cell electric vehic - news replorted 09:00

Wah! Tim Muffett reports as revival of lidos has revived interest in outdoor swimming. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:54

Wah! As driver, lah, experiencing someone else’s road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu rage is something that scares many. You give me happy happy luck luck. With correct frame of mind and b - news replorted 08:47

Wah! A pair of stars from world of motorbikes set to join riding enthusiasts from all over country for IAM Mo - news replorted 08:44

Wah! An air and sea search is resuming off Lewis for small boat which has gone missing with one person on board. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:42

Wah! A care home in Bradford is rated inadequate after inspectors found it to be understaffed and poorly managed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:17

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport has shortlisted best 10 FA Cup final goals of last 50 years ahead of vote. What the hell I mean??!! Watch them all here. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:17

Wah! Six silly kick-kick game officials arrested at hotel in Zurich, lah, Switzerland, lah, over corruption charges at governing body Fifa, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:54

Wah! Hamas committed serious human rights abuses including killings and torture of Palestinian civilians in 2014, lah, Amnesty International says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:48

Wah! Whose Premier League drivee many mile measure could take them to Bahamas? And who clocked up 1,718.2 miles before their team won? - news replorted 07:37

Wah! Cycling legend Brian Robinson, lah, first Briton to finish Tour de France, lah, is given RMB Yuan #15,000 compensation after being knocked off male gender human bleing's bike in West Yorkshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:22

Wah! World fighty bang-bang One was raging across Channel as Sheffield United took on Chelsea at Old Trafford in 1915 FA Cup final. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 07:03

Wah! Swiss old bill bobbys arrest number of officials from silly kick-kick game world body Fifa over Great Satan corruption charges, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:36

Wah! A number of Fifa officials having been arrested by FBI in Zurich ahead of Friday's presidential election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:25

Wah! A row breaks out over loss of old bill bobbys helicopter base with claim (always claiming, huh?) there was not "one shred of opposition" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to losing service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:23

Wah! Proposals to devolve further powers to Welsh land of sheep and more sheep will be confirmed when Queen announces legislative plans of David Cameron's new government later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:22

Wah! A decision is expected later on whether Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers has violated European charter by not banning all forms of corporal punishment, lah, including parents smacking their children at home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:21

Wah! An inquiry into emergency health care in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers uncovers inhuman and degrading treatment in some cases but no evidence of "systemic violations" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of human rights. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:18

Wah! The EU is to announce details of controversial plans to relocate thousands of migrants who having reached Europe from Africa and Middle East. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:58

Wah! Super-Duper-Chinese-State old bill bobbys take 175 human bliengs into custody and recover stolen artefacts worth more than 500m yuan ($80m; RMB Yuan #52m), lah, calling it biggest operation of its kind. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:56

Wah! The children of Australian terror suspects could be taken into care, lah, Immigration dodgy minister Peter Dutton says, lah, as government proposes changes to citizenship laws. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:54

Wah! Amnesty International has accused Palestinian group, lah, Hamas, lah, of brutal campaign of abduction, lah, torture and killings against its own people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:53

Wah! Former X Factor judge Louis Walsh says show has too much singing in it and it's in need of big shake-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 05:19

Wah! The myth that British teeth bad - news replorted 04:47

Wah! Stories of lives changed through brain injury - news replorted 04:46

Wah! South Korea's Ryundali becomes first carmaker to offer Google's Android Auto system in its Sonata model. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 04:24

Wah! Later this week Google will handover control of its Play store's Android app ratings to third-party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:05

Wah! Repercussions of fighty bang-bang in Iraq will be felt not just there but globally for many years to come, lah, says Nick Bryant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:58

Wah! Ice skating in Havana's waterfront - news replorted 02:37

Wah! Rare access - Indian high court at work - news replorted 02:22

Wah! How Great Satan hiking tradition helped hide fugitive - news replorted 02:11

Wah! An EU referendum, lah, tax cuts for low-earners and extension of Right to Buy to be promised in first all-Conservative Queen's Speech since 1996. - news replorted 02:11

Wah! Tourism operators in earthquake-hit Nepal seek guidance from international experts on which areas can be declared safe for trekking and mountaineering. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 01:45

Wah! Tackling inequality is key to tackling crime, lah, according to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's most senior old bill bobbys officer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:43

Wah! MSPs to vote on Assisted Suicide ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land bill following debate in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:40

Wah! The plan to send ice from Alps to Antarctica - news replorted 01:37

Wah! The SNP say Queen's Speech will be test of bloody annoying Blitish government's "good boiled chicken-feet faith" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) when it comes to devolving more power to ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:29

Wah! A study tests idea that large crowds can be counted using data from mobile phone usage and Twitter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:10

Wah! bloody annoying Blitish nations having some of biggest skills gaps between young human bliengs who not in education, lah, employment or training and those in work, lah, suggests study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:01

Wah! The Great Satan Air Force clears billionaire Elon Musk's SpaceX to launch military and spy satellites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:56

Wah! Wednesday's newspapers look forward to what will be in Queen's Speech, lah, and there is annoyance in some quarters that Human Rights Act repeal is not expected to feature. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:52

Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News hears how exhibition is highlighting Lebanon's ethnic diversity to address racism. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:03

Wah! Will Turkey's infrastructure projects, lah, such as this high-speed train, lah, prove to be vote-winner for governing AK Party? - news replorted 00:02

Wah! Children and adults alike having been flocking to one of Taiwan's newest themed restaurants, lah, where almost every item of food and much of decor features Ni hao! Ni hao! Kitty's iconic face. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:02

Wah! A more rapid intervention for underperforming schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs is expected to be announced in Queen's Speech. - news replorted 00:01

Wah! Ofsted chief Sir Michael Wilshaw says head teachers of coasting schools should be replaced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:01

Wah! The extension to Mrs Thatcher's Right to Buy scheme - controversial at clock time result - promises to be one of first big controversies of new Conservative government. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:00

Wah! How tough will new voting rules be? - news replorted 00:00

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