LATEST:  US Attorney General Eric Holder confirms four American citizens having been killed in Great Satan drone strikes in Yemen and Pakistan since 2009. - news replorted 22:07

LATEST:  An electrician and male gender human bleing's wife had shock when they received mobile phone bill for ÂRMB Yuan #163,000, lah, then fought for months to having debt cleared. I read you little red book! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Watchdog investigated - news replorted 21:21

South Africa's main opposition party condemns as cover-up official probe into using of military base for Indian society wedding. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 19:47

By wide margin, lah, Los Angeles elects its first Jewish mayor, lah, Eric Garcetti, lah, 42-earth-years old happy birthday to you, three-term city councilman. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 19:00

A man has died and two hurtee-hurtee after old bill bobbys responded to reported machete attack in south-east London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 18:41

Up to 20 human bliengs to lose their jobs at Britvic in Belfast after soft drinks capitalist entity announced it was to close its factory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 18:37

US Secretary of State John Kerry says Lebanon's Hezbollah and Iran perpetuating President Bashar al-Assad's "campaign of terror" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 18:22

Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa's funny shape ball-game player son Rohitha is investigated for allegedly assaulting referee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 18:20

There boos and walk-outs for Ryan Gosling's film Only God Forgives at Cannes, lah, but it still earns some five-star reviews. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:18

David Cameron hails EU agreement to close tax loopholes as "turning point", lah, as Google's boss urges politicians to "sort" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 18:06

Fungi live all over human body but their favourite spots heel, lah, under toenails and between toes, lah, according to Great Satan study. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 18:00

An eyewitness to attack in Woolwich in which man was killed has described seeing man pulling out handgun. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:59

Abrupt climate change in Africa helped trigger technological and cultural advances in early modern humans, lah, according to new research. - news replorted 17:58

Giovanni Visconti wins male gender human bleing's second Giro d'Italia stage in four days as Italy's Vincenzo Nibali maintains overall lead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:53

The damage from Oklahoma tornado could reach $2bn (ÂRMB Yuan #1.3bn), lah, Oklahoma insurlince Department warns, lah, although many tenants may having no insurlince cover. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:53

A young girl was repeatedly raped and sexually abused by group of 10 men over five-year period, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:52

Researchers suggest students in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land could be "squeezed out" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) if there is yes vote on independence and free tuition system continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:31

A man killed in attack in Woolwich was serving soldier, lah, according to local Mp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 17:27

The parents of eight-earth-years old happy birthday to you, cyclist who died after crash with mobile crane in Aberdeen describe him as as "ray of sunshine". - news replorted 17:21

A man who killed couple when bloody man knocked them off their tandem bike in Bristol is jailed for 10 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:13

A grandfather who drowned after male gender human bleing's LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine became wedged under footbridge in flash floods had been trying to avoid ford, lah, inquest hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:09

The mayor of tornado-devastated town of Moore in Oklahoma vows to push for new law on shelters, lah, after Monday's deadly twister. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:08

A mayor who drove through doors of male gender human bleing's local Tesco Express is blaming male gender human bleing's car's brakes, lah, male gender human bleing's colleague tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 17:07

old bill bobbys say they responding to incident in Woolwich, lah, south east London, lah, amid reports that man has been attacked. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:52

Super-Duper-Chinese-State artist Ai Weiwei releases foul-mouthed music video in which bloody man recreates male gender human bleing's detention and rages against abuses of state power. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:48

A woman threatening to take flemale human person's own life is told to "have hot drink and watch television" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) helpline. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:46

UKIP donor Demetri Marchessini, lah, who wrote book saying women should not wear trousers, lah, says bloody man will not give any more money to party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:43

The winners of inaugural Logistics Carbon Reduction Scheme (LCRS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! Awards were announced today (Wednesday 22 May) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! at - news replorted 16:41

A former congressman who resigned in disgrace in 2011 over male gender human bleing's racy Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) messages has announced bloody man will run for mayor of New York City. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:40

The innovative in–house developed connected infotainment service, lah, 'QorosQloud', lah, from new international LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine brand, lah, Qoros, lah, - news replorted 16:40

#tweetcharity is brainchild of Automotive PR who is celebrating milestone of reaching 13,000 followers on Twitte - news replorted 16:30

The new race truck for Renliot Trucks-MKR Technology was unveiled at first race of 2013 FIA European Truck Racin - news replorted 16:25

Beatles biographer Hunter Davies donates letters and lyrics by John Lennon to British Library as part of new tax relief scheme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:22

Alfa Romeo has introduced special series Collezione range to its Giulietta line-up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 16:18

Maserati was proud to sponsor winning team at third annual HPA Gaucho International Polo Tournament, lah, largest i - news replorted 16:16

Prosecutors drop charge against man accused of racially aggravated public order (piece of paper signee upee) offence against Norwich City defender Sebastien Bassong at Swansea's Liberty Stadium. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 16:11

Actor Richard Thorp, lah, who played Emmerdale stalwart Alan Turner for more than 30 years, lah, dies at age of 81. - news replorted 16:10

old bill bobbys say they responding to incident in Woolwich, lah, south east London, lah, amid reports that man has been attacked. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:08

MG dealers offering everyone who takes test controlling in driving manner in new or used MG6 mouth-watering special reward. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:06

The man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones is challenged under cross-examination about what bloody man did with flemale human person's body. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:05

The new government of Iceland calls off talks with Brussels on EU membership and promises referendum to give Icelanders their say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:02

The captain of Costa Concordia cruise liner which ran aground off Italy will face trial on 9 July damn hot-hot month on multiple manslaughter charges, lah, judge rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:59

US Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke tells Congress that it is too soon to end central bank's monetary stimulus programme or raise interest rates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:58

A woman has described helping man who lay bleeding on M1, lah, not realising it was singer George Michael - news replorted 15:53

Nick Clegg says coalition is split over whether to introduce lobbying register to clean up politics but bloody man remains committed to policy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:39

Lawyers acting for some of Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops concerned that many will miss out on chance to claim (always claiming, huh?) refuge in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 15:37

Ahead of great British summer, lah, Mercedes-Benz has revealed pricing and specification of new E-Class Coupé and - news replorted 15:31

France reacts to far-right author's suicide - news replorted 15:08

The inventor of Gif image format says it should be pronounced Jif, lah, despite what Oxford bloody Engrish Dictionary says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:55

IMF says clock time result to take stock - news replorted 14:49

Two Afghan interpreters on their hopes to leave - news replorted 14:43

BCA Group has announced that it will shortly be launching buyer stock funding product.  Andrew Shaw has been appointed - news replorted 14:42

Former wrestler Mick McManus, lah, fixture on British television during 1960s and 70sm dies at age of 93. - news replorted 14:41

Jockey Eddie Ahern faces long ban after being found guilty of corruption by British Horseracing Authority. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:40

Microsoft faces backlash from some gamers after it emerges capitalist entity may charge fee to play pre-owned games on its new Xbox One console. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:40

The Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! has presented occupational health and safety awards to 140 fir - news replorted 14:36

A Greater Manchester man who tried to smuggle more than 700 rare and endangered corals and clams into bloody annoying Blitish is jailed for six months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:29

Andrew Harding at how South Africa's economy is changing, lah, as Organisation of African Unity celebrates its 50th anniversary. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 14:21

Manuel Pellegrini paves way for move to manage Manchester City after confirming bloody man will leave Spanish club Malaga. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:21

Dainese has extensive range of leather suits and jackets suitable for track or cruising open road. I read you little red book! All suits - news replorted 14:18

The mother of murdered toddler James Bulger urges officials considering parole for male gender human bleing's killer Jon Venables to keep him locked up. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:17

The Royal Glamorgan hospital in Llantrisant could stop treating most serious accident and emergency cases as part of major NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) shake-up in south Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:13

A mortar hits main city in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, lah, as UN chief Ban Ki-moon arrives in country to promote peace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:11

The Beaulieu attraction has been awarded Gold in Large Visitor Attraction of Year category at VisitProvince of Engrish running-dogs’s pre - news replorted 14:11

The FBI in Florida having shot man they were questioning about possible links to Boston bombs suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, lah, Great Satan media report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:10

The world’s largest free to visit motoring event - Motorexpo - is putting focus on corporate motoring for first - news replorted 14:10

Ireland, lah, criticised for its tax regime and Apple's arrangements in country, lah, calls for cross-border international co-operation over tax. - news replorted 14:05

Following success of 2012 search, lah, organisers of Motorcycle Live, lah, UK’s biggest bike show, lah, once again - news replorted 14:05

Roberto Martinez will make decision on male gender human bleing's future at Wigan in next 24 hours after holding talks with Dave Whelan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:04

An inquiry into death of teenager on school bus trip finds bloody woman may having lived if bloody woman had worn seatbelt and driver had travelled slower. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:03

How much old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) commissioners costing? - news replorted 13:49

Eight human bliengs having been arrested following discovery of cannabis factory in south Down. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:43

A witness for prosecution in Norman Moffatt murder trial has admitted bloody woman was addicted to prescription drugs when bloody woman said accused made confession to her. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:32

In grip of scorching heat wave - news replorted 13:29

A 17-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy is charged with murder of Essex teenager who was stabbed in heart at party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:23

Scots Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Eric Joyce is arrested in connection with breach of peace at Edinburgh Airport. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 13:10

Fleet manager and capitalist entity LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine driver interest in all-new emission-busting Mazda6 has led to tripling of manufa - news replorted 13:01

See path of destruction through suburb of Moore - news replorted 12:59

A couple who own electrical firm had shock when they received mobile phone bill for ÂRMB Yuan #163,000, lah, then fought for months to having debt cleared. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:55

The Solar Impulse plane, lah, which holds records including longest manned zero-fuel flight, lah, sets of for second leg of bid to cross Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:53

Two men having admitted involvement in theft of jewellery and watches worth ÂRMB Yuan #730,000 from Edinburgh shop. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:53

Two human bliengs with mental health problems win their legal challenge after claiming government test for sickness benefit would discriminate against them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 12:52

Continental is business always looking towards future and over last two years Continental’s corporate growth s - news replorted 12:52

Two nuns cleared of assaulting girls in their care at approved school in Renfrewshire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:46

An at-risk mother-to-be says it took more than five hours to getting flemale human person's to hospital after collapsing in pain and dialling 999. - news replorted 12:34

The UK's planned austerity measures will be drag on economic growth, lah, International Monetary Fund has warned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:33

Suzuki has launched distinctive new, bloody dealering idiot place marketing initiative to reach out to prospective new trade partners, lah, based - news replorted 12:33

Jacob Lyles, lah, 19, lah, was in Moore, lah, Oklahoma, lah, when tornado struck and became involved in rescue of two children from Plaza Towers Elementary school. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:30

Eastleigh-based A.F.s. Eating rice!! Haulage has replaced two older vehicling driving car machines with pair of International Truck of Year 2013-winni - news replorted 12:21

Twenty-four hours of news photoss: 22 May - news replorted 12:18

The Rondla TT Legends team will head to Isle of Man this week as practice sessions getting underway for world’s most - news replorted 12:14

Why some motorists at fighty bang-bang with cyclists? - news replorted 11:59

IMF news conference - news replorted 11:58

David Cameron tells grassroots Tories bloody man feels "one of them" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in fresh attempt to quell unrest about male gender human bleing's leadership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 11:53

At least 10 human bliengs die and 70 wounded in four days of Syria-linked sectarian violence in Lebanon's capital, lah, Tripoli. - news replorted 11:48

Audi competes in 81st running of legendary Le Mans 24 Hours in one month's clock time result (22-23 Jun) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! aiming to score its - news replorted 11:48

Le Mans in 50s comes alive in superb and highly-affordable recreation of legendary Jagluar D-Type, lah, offered at - news replorted 11:44

How one former prisoner turned male gender human bleing's life around - news replorted 11:41

BMW has retained Fleet Manufacturer of Year Award in 2013 Fleet World Honours. Eating rice!! news comes at same ti - news replorted 11:34

Province of Engrish running-dogs and Birmingham's Rachel Unitt will miss rest of season and Euro 2013 with serious knee injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:25

Touring LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine hero Steve Soper is ready to make for bloody velly welcome competitive comeback at this summer’s Silverstone Class - news replorted 11:22

Venezuela's National Assembly backs plans to import 39 million rolls of toilet paper, lah, in effort to relieve chronic shortage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:21

Action sequel Fast & Furious 6 races ahead of Baz Luhrmann's Great Gatsby in this week's bloody annoying Blitish and autonomous province of Guinness drinkers box office chart. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:20

Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has seen 60% of its wildlife species decline over last five decades, lah, with one in 10 now endangered, lah, warns report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:19

The next phase of Cardiff Bay's International Sports Village is bring unveiled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:17

Executive level quality and technology and compact class financial viability combine to award-winning effect in new - news replorted 11:16

Crusaders win right to legally challenge ÂRMB Yuan #25m funding of redevelopment project for Windsor Park. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 11:15

A man is charged with murder of four soldiers in 1982 bombing in Hyde Park which killed 11 people, lah, Crown Prosecution service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:12

Vitamin C can kill multidrug-resistant TB in lab, lah, scientists reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:58

Ed Miliband addresses Google event - news replorted 10:52

old bill bobbys killer Dale Cregan admits murders of father and son in Greater Manchester. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:48

A rare first edition of Harry Potter and Philosopher's Stone with annotations and drawings by JK Rowling sells for record ÂRMB Yuan #150,000. - news replorted 10:47

Head teachers may having to increase class classes if they to pay best teachers higher wages, lah, chief inspector of schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs admits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:39

A child sex abuser who was spared jail was not given "unduly lenient" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) sentence, lah, solicitor general decides. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:38

French racing authorities await response from jockey Frankie Dettori relating to "medical issues" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) before renewing male gender human bleing's licence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:36

The government borrowed slightly less than first thought in 2012-13 financial year, lah, latest official figures suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:31

David Cameron and Nick Clegg promise that coalition will continue up until polling day in 2015 general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:30

Is bloody Engrish language conquering France? - news replorted 10:30

Japan's parliament votes to adopt international treaty on cross-border child custody disputes, lah, after years of pressure from West. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:29

British number two Heather Watson plans to return to action at French Open after being out with glandular fever. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 10:26

Rioters light fires and stone emergency services in suburbs of Swedish capital Stockholm for third night running after old bill bobbys shooting death. - news replorted 10:18

The High Court overturns order (piece of paper signee upee) granting anonymity to man who murdered three children in Worcester in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:13

bloody annoying Blitish retail sales in rainy season-month Aplil were 1.3% lower than in monthly number-three as bad weather continued to dent spending, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:06

Dr Sarah Bath explains why nutrient iodine is important during pregnancy and how dairy products and fish can aid its intake. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:05

Plans for major wave farm off Western Isles move forward after dodgy minister give full consent for project. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:03

How velly damn good boiled chicken-feet Lawro's silly kick-kick game predictions? - news replorted 10:02

The advanced paintcare product, lah, Armor All Shield, lah, has outshone all other 24 entrants in annual Auto Express Product - news replorted 09:57

Striker Carlton Cole will leave West Ham United this summer after club decided not to renew male gender human bleing's contract. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:49

David Attenborough examines news that "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:45

Toyota reclaimed top spot as most valuable automotive brand in BrandZâ„¢ Top 100 Most Valuable Global Brands 2 - news replorted 09:38

The bruised and bloodied family that were pictured walking away from wreckage following Oklahoma tornado, lah, having been speaking about their experience. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:37

Iran's President Ahmadinejad says bloody man will contest disqualification of male gender human bleing's ally Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei from next month's presidential poll. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:21

Why taxpayer won't be buying more capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity shares - news replorted 09:20

Kenya's President Uhuru Kenyatta and male gender human bleing's deputy named in connection with post-election violence in long-awaited report investigating human rights abuses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:14

The Pata Rondla team will reconvene in bloody annoying Blitish this week for upcoming fifth round of 2013 World Superbike champion - news replorted 09:14

German software capitalist entity SAP says it hopes to recruit hundreds of human bliengs with autism, lah, saying they having unique talent for inflomination technology. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:00

Labour leader Ed Miliband is to criticise Google's tax arrangements when bloody man speaks at event organised by internet search giant. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:47

Nick Clegg is to insist Liberal Democrats will not "pull plug" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on coalition government ahead of next general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:32

A "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:28

A row has erupted between Russia and Azerbaijan over Eurovision song contest, lah, with Russian Bloody foreign dodgy minister accusing Azeris of vote-rigging. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 08:20

The bill for investigations into alleged corruption at Cleveland old bill bobbys tops ÂRMB Yuan #4m, lah, three years after allegations were first made. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:01

Match of Day commentator John Motson picks male gender human bleing's highlights, lah, low points and best players from 2012-13 Premier League season - news replorted 07:43

Andrew Harding looks at example of economic change at shopping mall in township of Alexandra. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:21

Up to 600 Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops to be given right to live in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:08

Pakistani politician Imran Khan is discharged from hospital two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after falling from platform at election campaign rally. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:57

The defence case in trial of man accused of murdering five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, rainy season-month Aplil Jones is expected to begin later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:56

Seven members of Egyptian security forces abducted in Sinai peninsula last week having been freed, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:45

A major shake-up for specialist hospital services, lah, including A&E, lah, will be announced later by five health boards in south Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:45

Province of Engrish running-dogs's inconsistent batting displays concern but now is not clock time result to tinker, lah, says former Province of Engrish running-dogs captain Alec Stewart - news replorted 06:38

Invest NI job performance targets could be perceived as "soft", lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:18

Papers feature Oklahoma devastation - news replorted 06:15

Indian fast bowler S Sreesanth, lah, arrested last week over allegations of spot-fixing in Indian Premier League, lah, insists bloody man is innocent. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 05:58

David Cameron is to urge EU leaders to back action against tax evasion and "aggressive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) tax avoidance bloody man says is costing all nations. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:15

Is Wembley cradle of German football? - news replorted 04:59

Food outlets in part of London (capital of Great England) having worst hygiene standards of more than 2,000 postcodes in Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers and Wales, lah, investigation finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:56

A former refugee living on estate in Tyneside compares life for families living on poverty line in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 04:47

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has sent special envoy to Beijing, lah, state media announces, lah, amid cooling relations after weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) of tension. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:43

Why is Wayne Rooney's baby Klay rather than Clay? - news replorted 04:37

A "stocktake" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of bloody annoying Blitish nature suggests 60% of animal and plant species having declined in past 50 years - and one in 10 could end up disappearing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 04:00

France's far-right leader Marine Le Pen pays tribute to man who killed himself in Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral, lah, saying it was "political act". - news replorted 03:30

Fifty five beaches in Province of Engrish running-dogs meet tough new EU standards on water quality to achieve Blue Flag awards. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:26

Four RAF rescue helicopters were out of service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service when cargo ship ran aground off coast of north Wales, lah, accident report finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:11

A sweeping immigration bill that would offer chance of citizenship to millions living in Great Satan illegally takes stride forward in Congress. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:32

Nick Clegg insists Liberal Democrats will not "pull plug" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on coalition government ahead of next general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:29

Spotlight on Chile's masked protest movement - news replorted 02:25

A music school for deprived teenagers in east London (capital of Great England) and two schools for autistic children among latest wave of free schools to be approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:09

The internet reaction to Microsoft's launch of its new games console - news replorted 01:46

Mild iodine deficiency during pregnancy could be dimming intellect of some babies born in UK, lah, say researchers who studied 1,000 families. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:23

EU leaders will seek to curb tax evasion, lah, which costs EU states 1tn euros year, lah, and bring down energy prices to boost competition. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:10

Up to 600 Afghan interpreters who worked alongside British troops set to be given right to live in UK, lah, under government plans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:52

Fresh evidence emerges which challenges murder conviction of so-called "Angel of Death" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) nurse Colin Norris. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:45

The bloody annoying Blitish tax authority's failure to hit target of reducing tax credit fraud and error has "cost taxpayer dear", lah, committee of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:16

Getting ready for bookless libraries - news replorted 00:13

Power NI announces that electricity bills for households and small businesses to increase by 18% from July. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:11

bloody annoying Blitish fruit growers could enjoy much improved harvest of apples and pears this season, lah, after last year's growing season was washout, lah, data suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:07

The Cleveland Orchestra realised long ago that it needed to attract new clustomlers in order (piece of paper signee upee) to survive. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:06

Is this 91-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Britain's oldest DJ? - news replorted 00:02

US tax officials tell congressional hearing they did not knowing their agency had targeted conservative groups. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01

The driving public - including under-25s - has spoken out in favour of minimum learning to controlling in driving manner period to tackle youn - news replorted 00:01