 Scrap your man - get £1000 rebate! |
Husbands can be scrapped for cash!
Fiesty female motorists are urged to “scrap their husbands for cash†in a new twist to the Chancellor’s car scrappage scheme.
Instead of cash for a 10-year old banger in return for £1,000 of Government subsidy, I have teamed up with Divorce Online and we are offering to MATCH Alistair Darling’s £1,000 car scrappage scheme with a £1,000 cash bonus if female drivers scrap their husbands and lease a new car instead! |
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The novel spouse-scrappage offer works by offering wives who are tired of their old husband the opportunity to divorce them using DivorceOnline, and replace them with a new lease car from LINGsCARS, qualifying for a £1,000 husband-scrappage subsidy.
"Look at me! My husband got me this shitty old car,
so I divorced him, got 50% of his estate
AND got £1,000 subsidy on a new Fiesta lease car!"
(Typical example. Real circumstances may vary.)
LINGsCARS and DivorceOnline take no responsibility for wives who divorce and miss out on big settlement. |
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Too many car sales decisions are taken by men!
I put POWER back in the hands of bored wives by offering £1,000 for them to trade in their husband for a shiny new car, such as the new Ford Fiesta.
This will give you at least 6-months free motoring, peace of mind, AND the chance to ditch your clunky unreliable old car and clunky unreliable old husband at the same time.
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 Bin your husband - for cash!
DivorceOnline.co.uk already deals with 1 in 20 of all divorce petitions filed in England and Wales.
Managing Director Mark Keenan says “This puts some of the fun back into divorce. Ling and I have both won Entrepreneur of the Year awards, and we have decided to put our heads together to liberate the thousands of women who want to ditch their old husband and their old car at the same timeâ€
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HOW TO CLAIM £1,000
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 Claim your cash, girls!
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Girls; to claim your cash...
...simply apply for a car and after your car is delivered you will be asked for your Divorce Online separation number. After this has been checked, your cheque for £1,000 will be in the post!
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RULES:
- £1,000 scrappage subsidy payable to female partner only
- Application for spouse-scrappage scheme must be declared upon lease car proposal (form below)
- 100% confidential, ex-husband will never know you swapped him for a sexy, cheap new lease car
- Lease a car as normal (car must be in wife's name)
- Divorce as normal (remember to grab 50%!)
- Both car and divorce must complete within 1 month of each other, unless exceptional circumstances apply
- Photographic "before" and "after" evidence of unhappy couple must be submitted upon completion
- No same-sex divorces or lesbians (heterosexuals only) or LEEDS UNITED fans.
- No "divorces of convenience" or "serial marriers" or "misandrists"
- Application can be in either pre or post-divorce surname, but photo ID will be required
- Scrappage beneficiary must agree to take part in publicity as deemed appropriate by LINGsCARS.com and DivorceOnline.co.uk
"Look at me! I divorced my husband, got 50% of his estate
AND got £1,000 subsidy on a new Audi lease car!"
(Typical example. Real circumstances may vary.)
LINGsCARS and DivorceOnline take no responsibility for wives who divorce and miss out on big settlement. |
TO APPLY, FILL IN FORM:
You have lodged your desire to participate in the husband scrappage scheme!
Upon delivery of your new car and successful divorce of useless husband, you will receive cheque for £1000, subject to rules above.
RATIONALE: I can easily understand how many women are tired of both their husband and their car. The joy of a new car and the joy of ditching a grumpy husband is a
double-win!
Now, by putting the two big decisions together, wives can scrap their husband and transform their lives with a new sporty model. - Ling
"Ling and I are stimulating the market for women who want a divorce and a new car..."
says Mark Keenan (MD of Divorce Online),
"...but we promise not to actually crush
the scrapped husbands afterwards!"
"Look at me! I divorced my husband, got 50% of his estate
AND got £1,000 subsidy on a new Subaru Impreza lease car!"
(Typical example. Real circumstances may vary.)
LINGsCARS and DivorceOnline take no responsibility for big wives who divorce and miss out on big settlement. |
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Online Service
Response Times
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Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
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92 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
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...LING REPLIES IN:
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HRS : MINUTES sec
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152 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
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...LING REPLIES IN:
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HRS : MINUTES sec
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Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times
above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling
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No Waiting
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I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
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Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am - Ling
THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
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5dr
diesel,
man,
met
ix35
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...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
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