***SCOTCH SHORTBREAD NEEDS DEFENDING!*** Latest news that the British makers…


Latest news that the British makers of Shortbread are being castigated by ultra-Scots for not using the regional Scottish flag, waved by many people north of the soft border with the rest of the UK. Shockingly, the tins in Germany were emblazoned with the National flag of the UK! The Union flag! It’s caused outrage in Scotland. Checks on movement of truckloads of these tins of biccies have been imposed at Carter Bar. Only trucks with some tartan reference are being allowed to pass freely.


The EU has refused to comment, but is stoking the story with snide references to “how this potentially affects biscuits served at the Brexit negotiations.”

Walkers, the biscuit makers said: “Having spoken to Mr Walker, the board had an emergency meeting today, realising that this one product out of 3000 walker products wrapped in the union jack was in fact a terrible marketing faux pas, and this packaging will be changed to their usual tartan design.” It’s good to know that a cheesy fabric stereotype is far more acceptable to the SS (Scottish Snowflakes). A bagpipe may have also been more appropriate, so I include one on the regional song in the video.

It’s reported that tins of “Union Jack” biscuits have been destroyed in Inverness and that one German supermarket in Dresden stocking the British biscuits has been fire-bombed by Scottish seperatists.

To support the ultra-nationalists in Scotland, I’ve made a video with Ya Jun, promoting all aspects of Scottish life, desperately ignoring the democratic vote that Scots took, to remain in the UK. Hope you enjoy!

If you can spot more than 50 Scottish things in the Ya Jun video, you can claim a Ling WAH! mug.

Eat Scotch biscuits!

(note for editors: LINGsCARS is an equal-rights employer and have at least one staff, called Guy, who has a “Mc” in his name born north of the “Braveheart Line”, in Kelso. Guy contributed to this post. I have translated and included his comments, but deleted the bit about “ginnae ma Buckkie”.)

9 thoughts on “***SCOTCH SHORTBREAD NEEDS DEFENDING!*** Latest news that the British makers…”

  1. Seriously Ling – you’re just alienating yourself from 50% + of potential Scottish customers with this post, as much as it might be in jest.

    There is a real move to oppress Scottish identity and national pride by the UK gov since IndyRef – driving licenses for example used to come with the St. Andrews cross flag on them in Scotland but now they come with the butchers apron on them. The all Scottish curling team was mandated to only be referenced as British or English by the BBC in Winter Olympics TV coverage and a Scottish presenter got lambasted live on air for calling them Scottish by an English presenter… even though the same team competes as Scottish in many other tournaments year round.

    You do realise Scotland is a country in its own right don’t you? Not a region of the UK. It’s like trying to claim Taiwan is part of China 😉

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