***MORE WAKALIWOOD STYLE*** Cooming soon, more Wakaliwood movies for my…


Cooming soon, more Wakaliwood movies for my car pages. Here’s another very rough cut to entertain you. But you get the idea. My bits throwing the death-frisbee will flim later.

Maybe I should offer customers and FB followers to take part: YOU COULD DIE ON MY WEBPAGE, A GORY DEATH!

How many would want to go down in his-to-ry being filmed with me killing you gorily?

***EMBRACE THE SEARCH*** Andrew Davis is one of the most…


Andrew Davis is one of the most entertaining speakers you will ever hear.

He’s found LINGsCARS, analysed me, and pretty much nailed some big % of my website rationale.

Worth to watch this (and learn, you dumb-ass).

Drew starts to analyse UK car leasing 1:30 in, but has some interesting psychology before that. Worth to watch all. He did this all on his own, no help from me 🙂

*** WAKA-LING-WOOD PART1*** Who knows Wakaliwood? The crazy Ugandan slum-created…


Who knows Wakaliwood? The crazy Ugandan slum-created action movies like “Who Killed Captain Alex?”. Just 100% bad action. SUPERBAD!

I am blatant-copying the Ugandans for my next promo…

I’ve started filming for my homepage car features. We needed a dull day, issues with sunshine and whitebalance and shadows.

Anyway, David is playing the car salesman. We’re filming his bits at the moment on da greeny-screeny. You have to imagine, I come in dressed as Rambo with the chain-gun and… BLAAAAAM! COMMANDO-ACTION!

Will get better than this, heads will explode very soon.

How to sell cars? I can’t wait until a new car dealer tries to copy my style.

(I know, no sound, bad framing, action out of sync… I’m practicing the filming, rehearsing stuff, OK? …OK?????)

Out of 10?

*** PAID IN FULL! *** A week ago, some people…

*** PAID IN FULL! ***

A week ago, some people will remember that I launched a nasty nuclear mini-war regarding a conference-speaking debt of £1800 or so, that I was owed and chasing from 2013.

In Cardiff, I dressed up as a Dalek and gave a brilliant talk, back in 2013.

Well, encouraged by some of the other speakers, I went after the organiser who hadn’t paid me. I used public humiliation, plain-talking, Twitter, the power of Google to make my blog posts get to #1 position for the chap’s new business Google listing (within 1 hour!) and a bit of a mini-hate campaign here on FaceBook. I also chased via his wife’s business email, threatening more outing.

It wasn’t nice, but it was effective. I’d had enough.


The chap made two quick £400 payments, asking me to remove all my “name and shame” stuff (I did). Then this morning, he paid the balance (over £1k) into my bank. Ta-daaaaaa.

What a result! I might treat myself to business class seats on the plane to China next month when I do a Newcastle-Beijing-Chengdu-Newcastle trip.

I don’t re-name the culprit as I agreed to remove all references when he paid, but just thought that a lot of people who supported me (thx) would like to know of the success!

*** ARNOLD CLARK – WOMEN’S DAY FAIL *** #internationalwomensday This…



This is so baaaaad on so many levels. Bleuuurgh!

You have a bloke tweeting from Arnold Clark (obviously it’s a man because he uses 3rd party context for the women: “THEY inspire us” and “all that THEY do”).

You have the bandwagon… of international women’s day. That’s obviously getting jumped on after a “great” boardroom idea.

You have the cheesiness and the patronising attitude.

You have the stupid video, showing a man taking a group photo of all the women Arnold can wheel out together at once (can you imagine if this was a photo of Arnold’s men? “THEY” would nearly fill a football stadium…)

Then the women are shown in various extremely positive gender biased clips, “managing” staff who are always men. (yeah, right). “Walk down here, and YOU: make it look like she’s the boss. And ACTION!…”

At the end, you then see the solitary female trainee mechanic who gets a small supporting “touch” on the shoulder from the female service manager. Aaaaah. “We women stick together”. Nice direction there from the bloke who made the film.

Not only that, but because the women speak broad Glaswegian… the film has to be subtitled in English so most people can catch what the girls are saying. UK videos don’t usually need subtitles for UK consumption. I’m a Chinese immigrant and I don’t use subtitles when I speak.

Just mega-fail. On so many levels. A special girls video for international women’s day. Well done, Arnold. Shows how inclusive you are.


In contrast, I have videos of Holly farting across the office and drawing cocks on my promo mugs. I’ll post these vids comments, below. I know which International Women’s Day symbolism *I* prefer. Pass the air-freshener!

***SCOTCH SHORTBREAD NEEDS DEFENDING!*** Latest news that the British makers…


Latest news that the British makers of Shortbread are being castigated by ultra-Scots for not using the regional Scottish flag, waved by many people north of the soft border with the rest of the UK. Shockingly, the tins in Germany were emblazoned with the National flag of the UK! The Union flag! It’s caused outrage in Scotland. Checks on movement of truckloads of these tins of biccies have been imposed at Carter Bar. Only trucks with some tartan reference are being allowed to pass freely.


The EU has refused to comment, but is stoking the story with snide references to “how this potentially affects biscuits served at the Brexit negotiations.”

Walkers, the biscuit makers said: “Having spoken to Mr Walker, the board had an emergency meeting today, realising that this one product out of 3000 walker products wrapped in the union jack was in fact a terrible marketing faux pas, and this packaging will be changed to their usual tartan design.” It’s good to know that a cheesy fabric stereotype is far more acceptable to the SS (Scottish Snowflakes). A bagpipe may have also been more appropriate, so I include one on the regional song in the video.

It’s reported that tins of “Union Jack” biscuits have been destroyed in Inverness and that one German supermarket in Dresden stocking the British biscuits has been fire-bombed by Scottish seperatists.

To support the ultra-nationalists in Scotland, I’ve made a video with Ya Jun, promoting all aspects of Scottish life, desperately ignoring the democratic vote that Scots took, to remain in the UK. Hope you enjoy!

If you can spot more than 50 Scottish things in the Ya Jun video, you can claim a Ling WAH! mug.

Eat Scotch biscuits!

(note for editors: LINGsCARS is an equal-rights employer and have at least one staff, called Guy, who has a “Mc” in his name born north of the “Braveheart Line”, in Kelso. Guy contributed to this post. I have translated and included his comments, but deleted the bit about “ginnae ma Buckkie”.)

*** SIGNED ORDER SONG!*** In my office, I play sound…


In my office, I play sound effects, based on web events. For instance if someone clicks on my office webcam, or starts a car finance proposal form.

But my favourite sound effect is for an incoming CAR SIGNED ORDER FORM! Not only does it mean a sale, but it means I can play Col. Gaddafi singing “Zenga Zenga”. It blasts out at full volume in my office!

Here’s the video that it comes from… SUPERB! The West made a big mistake facilitating the killing of this Dictator, he was one of the very best!