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Customers often send me letters, I have 1524 in total! It keeps the postman busy. These letters are all hard copies, and none are invented. This one is from David Gallon

David says…
Dealing with Ling is a pleasure, her staff are friendly and informative, which coupled with the website actually makes replacing your car a fun experience. Thanks Ling, love the Fiesta by the way.

David Gallon
Gateshead
NE11 ***

Editor Note: Hmmm, I must beat my staff up more, if they have that much time to be friendly, hahaha. Glad you had fun, everyone with these new Fiestas, loves them. You are local to me, in Gateshead – on the same trading estate in fact! Great, eh? Acapulco of the North. – Ling

I am the fastest car supplier in the UK to update the Citroen C3 1.2 PureTech Flair 12v (82bhp) Hatchback 5dr 1199cc Petrol Manual (5 Speed) Petrol Manual information. No one in the industry can believe how fast I am.

Most Ling cars are on 2 year deals or less, so you should only need an oil and filter service (you won’t need brake pads etc unless you drive like German idiot Schumacker). You just pay this service yourself, OK? Some service intervals (eg. Renault) now at 18,000 miles! You can have this small service done at any cheap VAT registered garage, just use quality parts. Your car is fully covered by the manufacturer warranty (use franchise dealer for this, free), and you get manufacturer’s AA/RAC type cover.

If showroom-based car dealers fail to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, it renders them liable on conviction to a fine of up to �5,000. This is why dealers miraculously acheive these “minimum standards” – under threat of a �5,000 fine!

For this brand new Citroen C3 Petrol Manual, the latest CO2 figure is just 110g/km. When I chose this trim, it was because I have a few of these available. Different trims will have different CO2.

My Citroen C3 1.2 PureTech Flair 12v (82bhp) Hatchback 5dr 1199cc Petrol Manual (5 Speed) Petrol Manual gearbox is only £182.17 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Citroen C3 includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £182.17 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

The comparative or “fridge” label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. “The usual horseshit”, he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck “Calm down dear!” – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.

Plan ahead – choose uncongested routes, combine trips, car share.

LINGsCARS.com gets loads of comments. Here’s one (email address changed):

I’m not very familiar with the car hiring industry, but obviously you are running a fabulous business plus amazing website! As a Chinese, I do appreciate your ability and smartness. Wish you more success in the following days 🙂
Yu Wang, University of Essex, Colchester, CO4 3SQ
mcwang_@gmail.com

Failure to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, render dealers liable on conviction to a fine of up to �5,000. The same penalty exists for anyone who does not include all the appropriate test results in promotional literature. Trading Standards enforce point of sale information and should be contacted if you have concerns in this area. The Vehicle Certification Agency enforce the provision of information in advertising and promotional literature.

I am Ling and my Jaguar F-Pace Estate 2.0 d R-Sport 16v (180bhp) Estate 5dr 1999cc Diesel AWD Automatic (8 Speed) Diesel Automatic has a new CO2 value today. So I post it here in my blog. I always update very fast. Can anyone name another website that can do this stuff as fast as me?

This is very difficult for some people to control because of the damn human nature. But try to look at your car as a simple consumer goods, like a fridge or microwave. Who would get excited by a microwave…? Because these cars are so very, very cheap, often dealer makes just a tiny profit. Almost like handling fee. Me too. I work on numbers of cars, like airline ticket consolidators sell tickets.

Carbon Dioxide is the most important of the greenhouse gases which are contributing to Climate Change. Unless action is taken to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, such as Carbon Dioxide, the whole pattern of the World’s weather could change, increasing the frequency and intensity of heatwaves, floods, droughts and storms.

The CO2 for this Jaguar F-Pace Estate Diesel Automatic is better than it was, at just 139g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level.

My Jaguar F-Pace Estate 2.0 d R-Sport 16v (180bhp) Estate 5dr 1999cc Diesel AWD Automatic (8 Speed) Diesel Automatic gearbox is only £495.74 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Jaguar F-Pace Estate includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £495.74 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Winning the environmental award (2008 Best Environmentalist in the car industry) was very pleasing for me as it meant I was being recognised for my hard work. I’m the the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! Please note I have pioneered availability of environmental information on the internet. Using the internet to research and buy new cars is the most environmentally friendly method, by miles.

Use air-conditioning sparingly – running air-conditioning continuously will increase fuel consumption significantly.

A lot of people write comments. I get them all the time. This is one of the silliest:

Totally off the wall but brilliant all the same. Wish there were more like it!
Bill Doodson, Huddersfield, HD1 4PP
bill.doodson_@ntlworld.com

Dealers are also required to display a poster � in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.

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How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Digger Gray replied with a letter back to me about the Ford Fiesta that was delivered, new. Here it is:

Digger says…
Good, quick service. Website easy to use. Will recommend to other people. Good delivery of my new Ford Fiesta.

Digger Gray
Penrith, Cumbria
CA11 ***

Editor Note: Digger, your are a Jeweller, so you appreciate the styling of these new Fiestas, eveyone in the car trade thinks they are diamond cars, because they sell well and have brilliant residual values. Pretty perfect small cars! Thanks so much for the comments, you were a super customer. In the first week, you put 900 miles on your car, you need to slow down a bit! – Ling

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Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by John Taggart from Glasgow. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!

John says…
“The Ford Focus 1.4 shudders at 110mph. However it is better when you accelerate through it! Only joking. The car was presented nicely and performs well – giving good mpg.”

John Taggart
Glasgow
G5 ***

Editor Note: You’ll MURD’R the car at 110mph, John, MURD’R it! Hehehe, fancy having Taggart name in Glasgow! Glad Focus goes so well. Hope cold Scottish winter ends soon. – Ling

Great cars like the Volvo XC40 Estate 1.5 T3 Momentum 12v (156bhp) Estate 5dr 1477cc Petrol Manual (6 Speed) Petrol Manual jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes.

How to explain this without it seeming like the usual sales talk? … I don’t know, but I will try to make this clear… You know, you are not buying this car. Only renting it for (probably 1 or 2 or 3 years). So you are not stuck with it forever. So, you have no real risk. You are going to pay someone some money to run a car however you look at it.

I also took the decision to code into HTML and make available for printing the “Comparative Labels” or the “fridge” type labels you see at Comet and Curry’s on new fridges and washing machines. No other UK website bothers (or wants) to give their customers this information. One day they will be forced to do this. I have made my code freely available for any dealer who wants to use it, and published a tutorial on how to include this in their websites. This was published on the Automotive Management forum on 26th October 2006. To date, no dealer has contacted me to use my code.

The CO2 for this Volvo XC40 Estate Petrol Manual is better than it was, at just 144g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level.

My Volvo XC40 Estate 1.5 T3 Momentum 12v (156bhp) Estate 5dr 1477cc Petrol Manual (6 Speed) Petrol Manual gearbox is only £322.73 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Volvo XC40 Estate includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £322.73 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Sir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Drive smoothly and efficiently – harsh acceleration and heavy braking have a very significant effect on fuel consumption, driving more smoothly saves fuel.

This comment is great:

The website is great. I love the way everything is neatly organised and easy to understand.
Lynette Allen, Darlington, DL1 4NL
wolfatnight2003_@yahoo.co.uk

Climate Change is recognised as one of the greatest environmental threats facing the World today and it has long been appreciated by Governments, that reducing the impact of the motor vehicle has an important part to play in addressing this threat.

I am the fastest car supplier in the UK to update the Mercedes C Class Coupe 1.5 C200 AMG Line 16v (198bhp) (4 seats) Coupe 2dr 1497cc Petrol 9G-Tronic (9 Speed) Petrol Automatic information. No one in the industry can believe how fast I am.

As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent year’s road tax sent to you free of charge, saving you up to £385 per year, or £1,155 on a 3-year contract!

And if you are thinking that all the fuss at the moment should be about air travel, not cars, Michael O’Leary (of Ryanair) will put you right. He said “Aviation accounts for a ‘Mickey Mouse’ 3% of carbon emissions across the EU, compared with nearly 25% from road transport” He also said “I don�t believe in trotting out all that PC claptrap just not to upset a couple of fu*king environmental lunatics. They are just loons” – which makes sense to me, as I have a problem with this statement from Christopher Macgowan, the head of the SMMT; “The motor industry is committed to helping tackle climate change”. Frankly, I don’t think many retailers and dealers are.

I am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Mercedes C Class Coupe Petrol Automatic is now 140g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much.

My Mercedes C Class Coupe 1.5 C200 AMG Line 16v (198bhp) (4 seats) Coupe 2dr 1497cc Petrol 9G-Tronic (9 Speed) Petrol Automatic gearbox is only £378.26 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Mercedes C Class Coupe includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £378.26 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

The comparative or “fridge” label, is compulsory in car showrooms – except you’ve got to DRIVE there to see it! I won an industry award for displaying it electronically for all website visitors. I am the proud winner of the 2008 Best Environmentalist 2008 Automotive Management Award. Like me, Michael O’Leary, CEO of Ryanair talks straight about cars versus planes. “The usual horseshit”, he says. One day, every car will be as Green as my Jolly Green Nuclear Missile Truck “Calm down dear!” – it’s only done 1,000 miles since 1970.

Use higher gears, as soon as traffic conditions allow.

These comments have been made about my website:

My friend has referred me to your site. Now I was expecting the usual car site with pages of boring cars available to rent. Well, you’re different.
Richard Jones, Bridgend, CF32 8DG,
psychoderek_@sweetthing.wanadoo.co.uk

EU Directive 1999/94/EC requires new car fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data to be made freely available to consumers. Car dealers are required to have a label showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions of each different model on display, either on or near the vehicle. Fuel consumption figures will be expressed both in litres per 100 kilometres (l/100 km) and in miles per gallon (mpg). The label will list the figures achieved in urban, extra-urban and combined conditions separately. From September of 2005, dealers had the option to produce a new “comparative” label. The new label shows the mandatory Fuel Consumption and CO2 figures mentioned previously, alongside information about the appropriate VED band for the vehicle. The new label is similar in design to the energy efficiency labels that appear on many ‘white goods’, such as fridge freezers

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I am amazed the Post Office needs to be privatised, the amount that my customers spend sending me letters about their new cars. Here, Stephen Lake explains how they are getting on with their Nissan Qashqai

Stephen says…
Dear Ling,

Apologies for not dropping you a line sooner, but the first month with our new Nissan Qashqai has gone so fast. Thanks for your help and offering such a blinding deal. You deserve the business for your fun attitude and prompt replies to queries. Do you always work at 8pm???

The car arrived on time, immaculate and by a very polite and cheerful driver. Well done, you! We will be back.

ps. The offer of a free lunch is still on, to beat your own free lunch offer – at our restaurant!

Stephen Lake
Shrewsbury
SY1 ***

Editor Note: Stephen, yes, like you I often work evenings :). I have given you hyperlink for the free lunch offer. There are 50,000 visitors to my webpage every month, so many of them will be very pleased at your “FREE” offer. Hahahaha! Now, you will be damn busy! Here is your Dec 2007 evening menu:

Roasted butternut squash soup – £ 4.95
Ham & tomato risotto with melted cheese – £ 5.25
Cold venison & sultana terrine with port vinaigrette – £ 5.75
Crumbed smoked haddock croquettes with chopped egg & winter salad – £ 5.50
Stilton & spinach soufflé cake with apple, onion & coriander salad – £ 5.25
*
Roast turkey, herb stuffing, chipolata & bacon rolls & cranberry sauce – £ 12.95
Rib-eye steak with mushroom, parsley & Worcestershire cream sauce – £13.95
Loin medallion of pork with crackling & honey & lemon gravy – £ 12.95
Quenelles of salmon mousselline with dill cream sauce – £ 12.95
Aubergine, mozzarella & cashew nuts on blinis with tomato sauce – £ 11.95
*
Traditional Christmas pudding with brandy custard or fresh cream – £ 4.95
Apple & cranberry tart with Chantilly cream – £ 4.95
Chocolate mousse torte – £ 4.95
Almond & raspberry Pavlova meringue – £ 4.95
Saffron & citrus poached pear with vanilla ice-cream – £ 4.95
or
Cheese selection & biscuits – £ 5.75
*
Coffee or tea – £ 2.00
All dishes are home-made using only fresh, quality ingredients & main courses are served with carefully prepared vegetables.

Yum Yum!

Here is mine:

Out of date FUKU fast noodles, chopsticks – £ FREE!
Chinese Nescafe or tea – £ FREE!
Dodgy marshmallow or dry plum – £ FREE!

No competition, eh? Sorry about that! – Ling

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New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Les Coates. I delivered this Toyota Prius to Chelmsford then I got this very nice letter back…

Les says…
Hi Ling. Very happy with my Toyota Prius and of course your updates till I received my Prius. Good delivery, very happy and on time. Will use you again in 3 years. Have a great Christmas and New Year in China.

Les Coates
Chelmsford
CM3 ***

Editor Note: Great stuff. The battery car will need new Duracells in 3 years, so I look forward to you talking to me then. In the meantime, enjoy to be Green! You were super customer. Back from China as I type this, had a great Xmas hol! Thanks. – Ling

Changing this information for the BMW 1 Series 3.0 M140i Shadow Edition 24v (340bhp) Hatchback 5dr 2998cc Petrol Step Auto (8 Speed) Petrol Automatic, I noticed most other websites still use old values. You should trust that I work harder to give you the correct info!

Oh, I get very mad about this, but I cannot say this in my advertising or some big leasing companies complain to me that I slag them off… The industry standard for contract hire is a 1x rental-initial-payment or (more usually) a 3x rental-initial-payment. That’s it. If everyone advertised this, you could easily compare the rental figures as the football field we are playing on would be flat.

In 2008, I won the “BEST non-franchised ENVIRONMENTALIST” in the Automotive Management Awards, sponsored by the RAC. My website won “BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007” in the Automotive Management Awards. My website has been voted in the “TOP 100” in the world, by FHM magazine. I was voted “NORTH-EAST ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR 2006” in the One North East-sponsored WIN business awards. CAR Magazine listed me in their TOP 7 pick of UK car websites. I have around 50,000 unique visitors a month. I have well over 3000 happy, existing customers, and over 900 letters published on this website.

The CO2 for this BMW 1 Series Petrol Automatic is better than it was, at just 163g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level.

My BMW 1 Series 3.0 M140i Shadow Edition 24v (340bhp) Hatchback 5dr 2998cc Petrol Step Auto (8 Speed) Petrol Automatic gearbox is only £370.70 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my BMW 1 Series includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £370.70 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Winning the environmental award (2008 Best Environmentalist in the car industry) was very pleasing for me as it meant I was being recognised for my hard work. I’m the the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! Please note I have pioneered availability of environmental information on the internet. Using the internet to research and buy new cars is the most environmentally friendly method, by miles.

Check your fuel consumption – it will help you get the most from the car, changes in overall fuel consumption may indicate a fault.

Read this website comment. I really try my best! (email address altered)

You are as mad as my wife-to-be is. Good site, very funny.
Dave Millar, Kings Lynn PE30 3PN
highlander557_@hotmail.com

The different fuels have different merits from an environmental perspective. Compared to petrol, diesel vehicles have significantly lower CO2 emissions per kilometre traveled because of the higher efficiency of diesel engines and hence have a lower impact on climate change. Diesel vehicles also emit lower levels of CO and HC than equivalent petrol vehicles. However diesel engines emit greater levels of NOx and Particles than new petrol vehicles. As mentioned earlier, emissions of such pollutants are an air quality issue, particularly in urban areas.