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Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Richard Hookings. It was sent to me quite a while ago!

Richard says…
A unique experience – professional with a bit of craziness thrown in. Excellent communication throughout. A first class service. Excellent delivery of my new Mondeo Estate, prompt efficient and careful.

Richard Hookings
Southampton
SO40 ***

Editor Note: Hahahaha, a bit of craziness! BRRRRRRRRAKK-KA-KA-KA! In the boring world of miserable clone car dealers, craziness livens stuff up. Glad you thought “Excellent”, that is my goal. Cheers Richard! – Ling

All the people with orders in my system for the Jeep Cherokee 2.0 Multijet 16v (138bhp) Limited 4WD Station Wagon (5-seat) 5dr 1956cc Diesel Manual will be quite pleased by this news. I am making a change, because the environment stuff seems to have moved slightly.

Physical stock is always limited, as cars cannot be made to appear by magic, there are only so many sat in corner of field. So be brave, grab a bargain and avoid me having to make phone calls to disappointed people who have left decision too late. Remember that you have to pass finance before I can reserve you a car, so allow time for that!

Compared to improvements in the emissions of toxic pollutants, there has been less progress on reducing CO2 from cars. For a given type of fuel the CO2 emissions of a car are directly proportional to the quantity of fuel consumed. Until recently the average fuel consumption of new cars was unchanged relative to that in the mid 1980�s. This was because while engines have become more efficient over this period, average vehicle mass has increased due to additional features to meet crash safety requirements and the widespread addition of features such as power assisted steering and air conditioning. However, there are signs that in the last few years average fuel consumption has begun to drop in response to voluntary agreements by vehicle manufacturers to reduce CO2 emissions.

Working it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 147g/km for the Jeep Cherokee Diesel Manual. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values.

My Jeep Cherokee 2.0 Multijet 16v (138bhp) Limited 4WD Station Wagon (5-seat) 5dr 1956cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £308.40 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Jeep Cherokee includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £308.40 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Remember I won the best non-franchise environmentalist 2008 in the Automotive Industry Awards. Don’t let these manufacturers fool you; LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! I have a Master’s Degree in Environmental Quality from Bournemouth Univeristy in 2000, plus a BSc in Applied Chemistry from Jinan University, Guanzhou in 1997.

Try to avoid using your car for short journeys – use public transport, ride a bicycle or walk.

Every day, I get more of these little comments emailed to me –

What a fab website, I love it, it’s fun and friendly and different!!! I am looking for a 6 or 7 seater car as I have expanding family.
Jodie Adams, Nottingham, NG8 3AZ
pjadamsfamily_@ntlworld.com

Dealers are also required to display a poster � in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.

Visit my full letters page click here

Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Ricky Holdsworth, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Renault Grand Scenic.

Ricky says…
What can I say about Ling? – She’s exactly as it says on the tin… no-nonsense, straight-forward, honest, reliable and a pleasure to deal with (oh, and cheaper than many others).

My Renault Grand Scenic arrived as estimated, no problems. Will be back in 3-years, then! Excellent delivery, on time, polite and straightforward.

Ricky Holdsworth
Port Talbot
SA12 ***

Editor Note: Ricky, so pleased you are a happy bunny. Glad you like the Grand Scenic. Thanks for super-duper comments, especially as you are a Project Manager for the City and County of Swansea. – Ling

My system has alerted me that the Nissan Qashqai (from 2017) 1.2 DIG-T 16v (115bhp) Tekna Glass Roof Pack Hatchback 5dr 1197cc Petrol Manual has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.

As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent year’s road tax sent to you free of charge, saving you up to £385 per year, or £1,155 on a 3-year contract!

At the Kyoto Conference on Climate Change in December 1997 all developed countries agreed to legally binding targets to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions in response to warnings over global climate change. Following this the European Commission and the European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA) came to an agreement in July 1998 that committed ACEA to reduce the CO2 emissions from new passenger cars by over 25% to an average CO2 emission figure of 140 g/km by 2008. This is one of the most significant industry agreements on reducing greenhouse gas emissions and it has led to more fuel efficient vehicles being brought to the market. Similar voluntary agreements have now been reached with Japanese and Korean motor manufacturers. I dread to think what the Chinese are doing…

Working it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 129g/km for the Nissan Qashqai (from 2017) Petrol Manual. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values.

My Nissan Qashqai (from 2017) 1.2 DIG-T 16v (115bhp) Tekna Glass Roof Pack Hatchback 5dr 1197cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £249.70 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Nissan Qashqai (from 2017) includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £249.70 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

One of my best awards was the 2008 best non-franchise environmentalist, awarded by Automotive Management. The web is fickle, I have noticed LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! My website won “BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007” in the Automotive Management Awards.

Final word to Ryanair’s Michael O’Leary; “Worried about pollution? I’d say sell your car and walk.”

Every day, I get more of these little comments emailed to me –

Fantastic website. You are very witty and makes for a good read. Will recommend your site to some friends looking to upgrade their car shortly.
Emma Millar, Kings Lynn, PE30 3PN
milliebk90_@hotmail.com

The external noise emitted by passenger cars has been controlled since 1929 when the Motor Cars (Excessive Noise) regulations were introduced. New cars are now required to meet Europe-wide noise limits. These have been progressively reduced from 82 decibels (dB(A)) in 1978 to the current limit of 74 dB(A) established in 1996. This means it would take 7 new vehicles to make the same amount of noise as a vehicle that just meets the pre-1978 limits.

Visit my full letters page click here

My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1525 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Simon Speight wrote this one:

Simon says…
Although your prices are extremely competitive, the main reason I decided to buy my BMW 118 from you was simply down to your website. It is a refreshing style, straight to the point, what you see is what you get, nothing is hidden whilst at the same time it is quite entertaining to read. The subsequent process was surprisingly easy, so the overall buying experience was top notch. Thank you.

Simon Speight
Pontefract
WF9 ***

Editor Note: So pleased you like the website, Simon, hope you like BMW 118 as much. I put lot of work into both website and making life easy for customer! – Ling

Checking against the values I publish for the Renault Captur 1.5 dCi 8v (90bhp) Dynamique Nav Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel Automatic, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read.

With my deals, you get a brand new car with zero miles on the clock, delivered to your door. The new car is fully taxed and has the full manufacturer’s warranty and AA cover. It has proper New Car Smell; you know this smell? MMMMM!

When a customer clicks through into an individual car’s detail, they can see even more information. This includes the CO2 (again) and all three EC fuel consumption measurements. I even include the EU noise rating and the road tax “class” which may influence a customer’s car choice decision. (Please bear in mind that the road tax is completely free, from me – I include that cost information so a customer has more clue about the environmental impact of their new car).

The CO2 for this Renault Captur Diesel Automatic is better than it was, at just 103g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level.

My Renault Captur 1.5 dCi 8v (90bhp) Dynamique Nav Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel Automatic gearbox is only £203.94 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Renault Captur includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £203.94 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Remember I won the best non-franchise environmentalist 2008 in the Automotive Industry Awards. Don’t let these manufacturers fool you; LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! I have a Master’s Degree in Environmental Quality from Bournemouth Univeristy in 2000, plus a BSc in Applied Chemistry from Jinan University, Guanzhou in 1997.

Keep the pressure up – make sure the tyres are inflated to the correct pressure for the vehicle.

Website comments come in all the time – I have got one that says…

Your website is by far the world’s best website. No competition.
Jeremy Roberts, Watford, WD19 4TW
jeremysroberts_@gmail.com

The different fuels have different merits from an environmental perspective. Compared to petrol, diesel vehicles have significantly lower CO2 emissions per kilometre traveled because of the higher efficiency of diesel engines and hence have a lower impact on climate change. Diesel vehicles also emit lower levels of CO and HC than equivalent petrol vehicles. However diesel engines emit greater levels of NOx and Particles than new petrol vehicles. As mentioned earlier, emissions of such pollutants are an air quality issue, particularly in urban areas.

Visit my full letters page click here

Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Janet Griffiths, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Lexus IS.

Janet says…
Hi Ling,

Just to say that my beautiful Lexus IS was delivered on Friday. Checked it over thoroughly and it was faultless, then went away for the weekend in my new car. Thanks for the lovely Ling car mats and I will be back in 2 years for my next car.

Best wishes,

Janet Griffiths
Wimbledon
SW19 ***

Editor Note: Janet, I have never been to Wimbledon, even though I am a tennis fan. So I look with envy at your address. Those Lexii (Alan Partridge) are lovely and it will be great swanning around London. Thanks for the letter! – Ling

Green output is important to me, so I tell you the Skoda Octavia 2.0 TDI CR 16v (150bhp) SE Technology Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has changed, here are the new figures. I work hard to keep everything up to date.

These days, in UK identity theft is common (not problem in China; we all look same, heheh), money laundering is common, and so is fraud. To proctect themselves, and you, against these problems the finance companies like lots of ID. There are many protecting regulations. Photographic and signature proving (new driving licence or passport), and address proving (recent 90 day or less old utility bill showing your name and address). A company may want to submit a VAT return (proof of trading) or latest signed accounts, and anyone can supply a current bank statement (you can blot out the figures if you are sensitive).

If showroom-based car dealers fail to show fuel consumption labels on new cars on display, or to make available to potential buyers the results of the fuel consumption tests as listed in this booklet, it renders them liable on conviction to a fine of up to �5,000. This is why dealers miraculously acheive these “minimum standards” – under threat of a �5,000 fine!

Working it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 113g/km for the Skoda Octavia Diesel Manual. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values.

My Skoda Octavia 2.0 TDI CR 16v (150bhp) SE Technology Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £207.16 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Skoda Octavia includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £207.16 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

One of my best awards was the 2008 best non-franchise environmentalist, awarded by Automotive Management. The web is fickle, I have noticed LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! My website won “BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007” in the Automotive Management Awards.

Use higher gears, as soon as traffic conditions allow.

Read this, I have this comment up, displayed on LINGsCARS.com:

Quality website! Certainly had me chuckling! A breath of fresh air!
Stefan Rose, Durham, DH1 4LR
phoenixxx_85_@hotmail.com

Dealers are also required to display a poster � in paper or as an electronic display, in a prominent position, showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions for all new passenger car models displayed, or offered for sale through that particular showroom. In addition to the above, the directive also requires manufacturers to include fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data in all brochures and printed advertisements, provided that the literature relates to a specific model of car. These requirements were implemented into UK law by The Passenger Car (Fuel Consumption and CO2 emissions Information) Regulations 2001, which came into force on the 21st of November 2001.

Visit my full letters page click here

New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like David Hodgson. I delivered this BMW 1-Series to Darlington then I got this very nice letter back…

David says…
THE BEST: Premier League Class. At Darlington FC we get car offers 24/7 from all over the country. But not one could beat Ling, with the price or the quality of service… and to be able to speak direct with the boss just made it better. The supplying BMW dealer was equally as good as LINGsCARS.com.

When we get promoted we will be back for Bentleys!

David Hodgson
Darlington
DL2 ***

Editor Note: Wow! Now I must be into big time supplying football clubs. Darlington FC will be welcome to rent Bentleys (although I have never sold Bentley – yet!), and maybe David will put me in touch with other footballing David (Beckerham) and Poshy for more Bentley sales – Ling

Fuel is a fortune these days, so when the Jeep Cherokee 2.0 Multijet 16v (138bhp) Limited 4WD Station Wagon (5-seat) 5dr 1956cc Diesel Manual has slightly changed figures, I always blog about it, because my customers say they care.

As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent year’s road tax sent to you free of charge, saving you up to £385 per year, or £1,155 on a 3-year contract!

Back to CO2 – there is no easy technical way to deal with CO2. The best way to reduce it and the other emissions is to use the car only when it is necessary and to walk or use public transport where possible. When you are choosing a vehicle and you have selected the most appropriate class of vehicle for your needs, choose the most fuel efficient vehicle in that group. This is where a franchised new car dealer really struggles. Is a Ford dealer really going to advise a customer to buy a lower-polluting Renault Megane? Did you know the fuel consumption of similar size cars can vary as much as 45%?

Working it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 147g/km for the Jeep Cherokee Diesel Manual. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values.

My Jeep Cherokee 2.0 Multijet 16v (138bhp) Limited 4WD Station Wagon (5-seat) 5dr 1956cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £308.40 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

This price on my Jeep Cherokee includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £308.40 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

One of my best awards was the 2008 best non-franchise environmentalist, awarded by Automotive Management. The web is fickle, I have noticed LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! My website won “BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007” in the Automotive Management Awards.

Cold starts – drive off as soon as possible after starting.

I have so many comments about my website, this one says;

Great site, very good offers and the legal stuff is very funny.
Mike Marsh, Redditch, B98 9HZ
mikemarshreddirec_@btinternet.com

Because of the need to maintain strict comparability of results achieved by the standard tests they cannot be fully representative of real life driving conditions. Firstly, it is obviously not practicable to test each individual new car; thus only one production car is tested as being representative of the model and may therefore produce a better or worse result than another similar vehicle. Secondly, there are infinite variations in driving styles and in road, car and weather conditions, all of which can have a bearing on the results achieved. For these reasons the fuel consumption achieved on the road will not necessarily be the same as the official test results.