Citroen C4 Lease delivered to Dominic Townsend in Glasgow

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Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from Dominic Townsend that I got a while ago:

Dominic says…
CarThanks Ling, Great service – the C4 was not my first choice but as it turns out, an even better alternative! I love the sweets (lie), I may even order another car to get more (true). Good delivery, pleasant and efficient.

Dominic Townsend
Glasgow
G14 ***

Citroen C4Editor Note: Dominic, hehehehe, you SHOULD be pleased with the C4, these are great cars, I never get any complaints. The sweets are chosen specially to make you vomit, this is good for you! It is an oral version of that colonic irrigation. Another free service, from Ling! Thanks for the lovely letter. – Ling

Lower CO2 on my Skoda Superb

My system has alerted me that the Skoda Superb 2.0 TDI 16v (150bhp) SE Technology Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.

Environmental Data

With my deals, you get a brand new car with zero miles on the clock, delivered to your door. The new car is fully taxed and has the full manufacturer’s warranty and AA cover. It has proper New Car Smell; you know this smell? MMMMM!

My customers drive brand-new cars. These cars are far less polluting than cars built just a few years ago. As an extreme example, it would take 50 new cars to produce the same emissions per kilometre as a vehicle made in 1970. The new cars my customers are driving have been produced on the most modern production lines, using the latest technology with much lower environmental build costs than cars produced in the past. By their nature, these new cars will be emitting the lowest levels of pollutants than they will ever produce in their lifetimes, as they get older.

The CO2 for this Skoda Superb Diesel Manual is better than it was, at just 108g/km. It is a bit different if you look at a slightly different trim level.

My Skoda Superb 2.0 TDI 16v (150bhp) SE Technology Hatchback 5dr 1968cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £231.11 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 23 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

SkodaThis price on my Skoda Superb includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £231.11 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Remember I won the best non-franchise environmentalist 2008 in the Automotive Industry Awards. Don’t let these manufacturers fool you; LINGsCARS.com is the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! I have a Master’s Degree in Environmental Quality from Bournemouth Univeristy in 2000, plus a BSc in Applied Chemistry from Jinan University, Guanzhou in 1997.

Use air-conditioning sparingly – running air-conditioning continuously will increase fuel consumption significantly.

Website comments come in all the time – I have got one that says…

Your site made me laugh out loud – a rare treat! Not many do that. Cheers.
Dave Harries, North Weald, CM16 6DB
harriesmob_@ntlworld.com

In 1993 exhaust emission limits, (generally referred to as the Euro 1 standards) were introduced for new cars which resulted in the adoption of advanced emission control techniques, e.g. catalysts. More stringent emission limits came into effect in 1997 (Euro 2) and 2001 (Euro 3) and 1st January 2005 (Euro 4). Euro 4 came fully into force on 1st January 2007 and now covers most new cars on sale.

Environmental Data

Audi TT Coupe Lease delivered to Andrew Clark in London

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Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Andrew Clark in London. Bloody cat!

Andrew says…
CarWhilst I knew I had ordered an Audi TT with a long lead-in February until September, Ling kept me full informed along the way and delivery was totally hassle free and spot on the agreed date. An excellent service all round and a bit of fun as well. Perhaps a little sceptical at the start but a firm believer at the end. A big thank you.

Andrew Clark
London
W4 ***

Audi TT CoupeEditor Note: Andrew, this must be a record lead-time for me. WoW! 8 months from ordering to delivery! Audi are really behind with TT production, glad you were patient enough to wait for the car 🙂 You were lovely… I know you didn’t believe me at first, but by the end you knew I was telling the exact truth with regard to the price and delivery time 🙂 As a business owner, I appreciate your comments. Thanks. – Ling

My Seat Leon has been updated

Green output is important to me, so I tell you the Seat Leon 1.2 TSI 16v (110bhp) SE Dynamic Technology Hatchback 5dr 1197cc Petrol Manual has changed, here are the new figures. I work hard to keep everything up to date.

Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you agreed to the contract. Many different wear and tear agreements are issued, but it is safe to say that they all are similar to the industry standard issued by the BVRLA (British Vehicle Rental and Leasing Association). I have condensed the advice into an easy to read PDF file. If you have things to fix, I recommend 1st call to people like Dent Devils, mobile Glass Repair, etc. Cheap and often works. They usually come to you, in van. Easy. Treat this car like your own car and you will not go far wrong. If you sold a 2-year-old car privately, you would fix exact same problems. Common sense helps!

Environment

I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure that 99% of UK franchised car dealers refuse to go beyond (and hide behind, IMHO). So, I make sure that at-a-glance CO2, fuel economy and the coloured “greeness indicator bars” are displayed clearly on my homepage car listings for easy comparison purposes.

Seat Leon

Working it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 116g/km for the Seat Leon Petrol Manual. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values.

Environment

My Seat Leon 1.2 TSI 16v (110bhp) SE Dynamic Technology Hatchback 5dr 1197cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £166.45 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

SeatThis price on my Seat Leon includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £166.45 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Winning the environmental award (2008 Best Environmentalist in the car industry) was very pleasing for me as it meant I was being recognised for my hard work. I’m the the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! Please note I have pioneered availability of environmental information on the internet. Using the internet to research and buy new cars is the most environmentally friendly method, by miles.

Keep the pressure up – make sure the tyres are inflated to the correct pressure for the vehicle.

I have so many comments about my website, this one says;

I think that your style and web design are very good.
Simon Austin, Chairman SNM Group Ltd, Mayfair, W1J 8EE
sasparx_@hotmail.com

Biofuels also offer a way to reduce vehicles’ impacts on climate change. The fuels are not entirely CO2 neutral because of the energy used to grow and process crops, but they can offer substantial CO2 savings over fossil petrol and diesel. Today most biofuels are sold in a blends of up to 5% with fossil petrol and diesel . These are suitable for use in all vehicles. Fuel standards may be extended in the future to allow more than 5% if it is concluded that this is compatible with existing vehicles. Some manufacturers offer ‘flexi-fuel’ vehicles that can run on bioethanol blends up to E85 – a blend of 85% bioethanol and 15% petrol, as well as fossil petrol.

Lexus IS Lease delivered to Michael O’Laughlin in South Chailey

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Customers often send me letters, I have 1525 in total! It keeps the postman busy. These letters are all hard copies, and none are invented. This one is from Michael O’Laughlin

Michael says…
CarHi Ling, Thanks for all you did to make the process quick and easy. Website is excellent and good fun. I like your sense of humour.

Choosing a car (Lexus IS) was easy and the prices very competitive. Communication was also excellent and timely. The whole process was a great experience. Thanks! Excellent delivery.

Michael O’Laughlin
South Chailey
BN8 ***

Lexus ISEditor Note: As you a director of a large PLC high-street Bank, maybe the biggest in the UK, I have hidden your address for security. It is nice to deal with high-flyers like you, Michael, it makes me realise that my service is good enough for everyone. You were lovely! So pleased you are happy, and hope to see you again in 2-years. In the meantime, I will charge you a £50 management fee, an unauthorised email fee for every message, I will charge you 50p every time you make a payment and make you queue out of my website to speak to me. You will get LingCard offers every 2 weeks in the post. Next time you want a car, I will tell you you can only have one if you don’t need one 🙂 Just like dealing with your bank, hehehe. – Ling

Car CO2 change for the Volkswagen Touareg

My system has alerted me that the Volkswagen Touareg 3.0 TDI Bluemotion Tech V6 (262bhp) R Line Plus 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2967cc Diesel Tiptronic Automatic has changed today so I update my website and post here for the benefit of customers. No one else bothers with this stuff. I treat you like adult, not idiot.

Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents you agreed to the contract. Many different wear and tear agreements are issued, but it is safe to say that they all are similar to the industry standard issued by the BVRLA (British Vehicle Rental and Leasing Association). I have condensed the advice into an easy to read PDF file. If you have things to fix, I recommend 1st call to people like Dent Devils, mobile Glass Repair, etc. Cheap and often works. They usually come to you, in van. Easy. Treat this car like your own car and you will not go far wrong. If you sold a 2-year-old car privately, you would fix exact same problems. Common sense helps!

In 2008, I won the “BEST non-franchised ENVIRONMENTALIST” in the Automotive Management Awards, sponsored by the RAC. My website won “BEST non-franchised WEBSITE 2007” in the Automotive Management Awards. My website has been voted in the “TOP 100” in the world, by FHM magazine. I was voted “NORTH-EAST ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR 2006” in the One North East-sponsored WIN business awards. CAR Magazine listed me in their TOP 7 pick of UK car websites. I have around 50,000 unique visitors a month. I have well over 3000 happy, existing customers, and over 900 letters published on this website.

Environment

Working it out from the tables, the CO2 is just 174g/km for the Volkswagen Touareg Diesel Tiptronic Automatic. There are a few cars in this range, so different specs will give slightly different CO2 values.

My Volkswagen Touareg 3.0 TDI Bluemotion Tech V6 (262bhp) R Line Plus 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2967cc Diesel Tiptronic Automatic gearbox is only £466.56 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

VolkswagenThis price on my Volkswagen Touareg includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £466.56 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Winning the environmental award (2008 Best Environmentalist in the car industry) was very pleasing for me as it meant I was being recognised for my hard work. I’m the the ONLY new car supplier to display and promote environmental info for ALL new cars, on the web! Please note I have pioneered availability of environmental information on the internet. Using the internet to research and buy new cars is the most environmentally friendly method, by miles.

Environmental Data

Lose weight – don’t carry unnecessary weight, remove roof racks when not in use.

Here is a comment about my website (I have disguised the email address)

Hello Ling, I found your site one of the most interesting and funny on the web. What a great concept, if only there were more people like you! Why don’t you have a recipe of the month? Your quiz was too hard for me and your teeshirt is cool.
Mary Nowell, East Kilbride, G75 8EQ
marynowell1_@hotmail.com

Hybrid vehicles combine an internal combustion engine with an electric motor and battery. There are various ways in which hybrid vehicles can operate. For example the electric motor can be used to provide additional power during acceleration and high load conditions. The battery can then be recharged by the internal combustion engine or from energy absorbed during braking, or, in some cases, from an external electrical supply. Hybrid vehicles offer reduced fuel consumption and CO2 with potentially some reduction in emissions of local pollutants.

Environmental Data

Citroen C5 Lease delivered to Kevan Silverthorne in Cheadle, Cheshire

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New cars are like new toys to most of my customers. They get really excited. Just like Kevan Silverthorne. I delivered this Citroen C5 to Cheadle, Cheshire then I got this very nice letter back…

Kevan says…
carLing’s as mad as a box of frogs but gets the job done! This is the second time I have used her service and it was very smooth, always kept informed by her excellent LINGO online communication system and have recommended her service to my clients. Only negative is I didn’t like some of the sweets she sent LOL! Excellent delivery of my new Citroen C5.

Kevan Silverthorne
Cheadle, Cheshire
SK8 ***

Citroen C5Editor Note: Kevan, I have never seen a box of frogs, but boiled in chilli oil or barbecued, frogs are very delicious animals. You are a great multiple renting customer and I look forward to seeing you back AGAIN in a couple of years! Enjoy the C5! LOL indeed… the sweets are collectors items, not designed to be eaten, nit! Hahaha! – Ling

Possible enviro banding change on the Nissan Juke

If you are interested in CO2 stuff, then read this. I have a new figure for the Nissan Juke 1.6 i 16v (93bhp) Visia Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Manual and I am updating it on my website now.

Most Ling cars are on 2 year deals or less, so you should only need an oil and filter service (you won’t need brake pads etc unless you drive like German idiot Schumacker). You just pay this service yourself, OK? Some service intervals (eg. Renault) now at 18,000 miles! You can have this small service done at any cheap VAT registered garage, just use quality parts. Your car is fully covered by the manufacturer warranty (use franchise dealer for this, free), and you get manufacturer’s AA/RAC type cover.

Environment

Mercedes-Benz told me “Mercedes-Benz dealerships have a limited amount of space available in which to advertise. However, all of the dealership’s websites do include a link to the main site Mercedes-Benz.com where anyone in the world with an interest in obtaining specific environmental information about any Mercedes-Benz vehicle can easily find it. Environmental information is also available in brochures that can be obtained at any dealership.” Well, perhaps Head Office at Mercedes-Benz restricts the amount of web space available to each dealer? It’s amazing that they use “space” as an argument for not displaying this info online on each dealer’s site. Web-space is virtually unlimited! A customer should not need to go to World Headquaters to find it (and even then it is not comparative)!

Environmental Data

I am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Nissan Juke Petrol Manual is now 138g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much.

Environment

My Nissan Juke 1.6 i 16v (93bhp) Visia Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Manual gearbox is only £174.59 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

NissanThis price on my Nissan Juke includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £174.59 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Sir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Environmental Data

Try to avoid using your car for short journeys – use public transport, ride a bicycle or walk.

Environmental Data

Website comments come in all the time – I have got one that says…

Environment

You are as mad as my wife-to-be is. Good site, very funny.
Dave Millar, Kings Lynn PE30 3PN
highlander557_@hotmail.com

EU Directive 1999/94/EC requires new car fuel consumption and CO2 emissions data to be made freely available to consumers. Car dealers are required to have a label showing the fuel consumption and CO2 emissions of each different model on display, either on or near the vehicle. Fuel consumption figures will be expressed both in litres per 100 kilometres (l/100 km) and in miles per gallon (mpg). The label will list the figures achieved in urban, extra-urban and combined conditions separately. From September of 2005, dealers had the option to produce a new “comparative” label. The new label shows the mandatory Fuel Consumption and CO2 figures mentioned previously, alongside information about the appropriate VED band for the vehicle. The new label is similar in design to the energy efficiency labels that appear on many ‘white goods’, such as fridge freezers

Environment

BMW 7-Series Lease delivered to Ged Cain in Gateshead

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Does your cat eat letters when they come through your letter box? Mine does. Here’s a letter it missed, from Ged Cain in Gateshead. Bloody cat!

Ged says…
car“Mrs Ling Valentine, you have completed mission impossible! You have managed to do what our local BMW dealer was going to charge us an extra £250 per car to do! You have managed to get us 2 x BMW 7-Series 730’s for just £400/month each! How amazing is that! These are £45,000+ cars, and I am paying rentals that are more usually associated with a 3-Series, or a baby Lexus.

My sales managers have promised to double their efforts if I got them top-spec new cars, and they are unlikely to drive better cars than these, in all their careers. The price was FANTASTIC, delivery was spot on, your paperwork and efficiency was immaculate, your communication immediate and no false claims! I tell you what, you rival Alan Sugar for brilliance, never mind The Apprentice! I wish you all the success in the world, and I have saved my coup-de-grace for last; I have ordered 2 more 7-Series from you for my fleet! Why BMW dealers cannot match your speed, efficiency and costs, I just don’t know… all I know is that I saved my company 4 x £250/month over 26 payments, that’s £26,000 by using you! Do I care you don’t have a posh dealership, corporate loo-roll and a corporate cafe? No! I am sending you a CRATE of Champagne. Stand by to get VERY drunk.”

Ged Cain
Gateshead
NE11 ***

BMW 7-SeriesEditor Note: Gerrard, whooo,hooo! You are such a sweetie, AND you let me take 7-Series for a spin… very smooth but a bit big for little me. As you are local customer, thanks for posing for photo with me. I will get very pissed on Champagne on June 1st – my birthday! Please note, I had a very limited supply of these 7-Series and at time of me writing this, price has risen to £429/mth +VAT. Thanks – Ling

My Nissan Qashqai has been updated

Looking at my records, the Nissan Qashqai 1.5 dCi 8v (110bhp) N-Vision Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel Manual has changed today, so I have updated the environmental information on my website. You have to laugh that I can beat Nissan to this update!

Nissan Qashqai

You need to insure the car fully comp, as normal with any new car. The car can be used for any purpose, or driven by anyone you choose. In effect, it is your own brand new car for the length of the hire period. You can even take it abroad. I tried to drive car to China once. That was damn big mistake. I suggest you do not use contract hire car for this.

Environment

Christopher Macgowan, Chief Executive of the SMMT wrote to me and said “Ling, thank you very much for giving us the opportunity at SMMT to look at the impact of the (environmental) label in a different media from the car showroom. We have always been aware that like the “white goods” label on which the car label is based, that its merits extend beyond the car showroom. In addition we know that the earlier in the buying process the purchaser thinks about low CO2 emissions the more consideration it will be given in the buying process. The industry is committed to seeing the environmental credentials of cars being widely publicised and the SMMT will continue to provide leadership in this area; as with all new initiatives in a huge industry like ours, it takes a bit of time to become widespread and universally available but please be in no doubt that the SMMT and I personally are determined to see the widespread use of the new label.”

I am pleased to say that the CO2 for the Nissan Qashqai Diesel Manual is now 99g/km. If you chose a different trim level, the CO2 would change, but not by much.

My Nissan Qashqai 1.5 dCi 8v (110bhp) N-Vision Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel Manual gearbox is only £238.50 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, followed by 35 payments on direct debit. Business customers, make sure you deduct the VAT, when making decisions. As I can’t tell what type of customer you are (business or private), I can’t display the price any other way but to show VAT seperately (sorry!).

NissanThis price on my Nissan Qashqai includes full road tax for the length of the contract, on all of my cars and vans! Free delivery to your home or work and free collection from you at the end! £238.50 inc VAT per month is based on you driving 10,000 miles per annum, but higher mileages are usually available at a small extra cost. If you go over the allocated miles, you can pay a small excess mileage charge, usually between 3p and 15p per mile.

Nissan Qashqai

Sir Nicholas Stern, Head of the Government Economics Service, produced the UK Government Environmental Report on the Economics of Climate Change. I was so pleased to win an Environmental Award in 2008, myself. I am determined that LINGsCARS.com will go further than anyone else in this industry to exceed the legal minimum information disclosure. It is probably the case that my customers have the smallest environmental footprints of any new car customers in the UK!

Environment

Cold starts – drive off as soon as possible after starting.

Environment

I have so many comments about my website, this one says;

Nissan Qashqai

Your website is by far the world’s best website. No competition.
Jeremy Roberts, Watford, WD19 4TW
jeremysroberts_@gmail.com

Environment

Climate Change is recognised as one of the greatest environmental threats facing the World today and it has long been appreciated by Governments, that reducing the impact of the motor vehicle has an important part to play in addressing this threat.