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SITE SECURITY!
How I protect my lease car customers!
Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com
Secure areas of LINGsCARS are protected by the TOP security!

I am the only UK motor industry website to have gained Extended Validation (EV) security. ALL customers on my secure area are safe in the knowledge that no one in the whole UK motor industry takes more care of their personal data and confidential documents.

Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com

Normal leasing website security is via an "SSL" certificate that any Tom, Dick or Harry lease company can purchase (not many do!), which adds a padlock to the web-browser status bar to show that the connection is encrypted and secure.

However, since any successful SSL connection causes the padlock icon to appear, users are not likely to be aware of whether the car lease website owner has been validated or not. As a result, fraudsters (including phishing websites) have started to use SSL to add credibility to their websites.

LINGsCARS.com has EXTENDED VALIDATION!

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SECURITY
for LINGsCARS is provided by COMODO, the 2nd largest Certification Authority for ensuring Identity Trust & Assurance on the web.
 

Comodo are all about slaying all the fraudsters, hackers and anyone else who creates untrustworthiness on the internet. They're all about creating trust online.


  Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com
LINGO
is the secure online area my customers use for 100% of online process
Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com

Inside my LINGO system, my customers get all the information they need, plus a full transcript of all conversations, plus full secure upload of all sensitive documents. In addition, there are loads of fun applications and lots of useful stuff.


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INSIDE
my customer LINGO SYSTEM, over 300 concurrent customers enjoy 100% security and the knowledge that all sensitive info and uploaded documentation is protected against ID theft and fraud.
 

Volume of secure LINGO messages

I believe my SECURITY system is the STRONGEST in the UK motor industry. No one puts more thought and effort into this important stuff.


  Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com
A VAULT
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Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com I am appalled
by the way most car finance companies and car dealers exchange information with their customers via completely insecure email and fax. Any fool or scammer can intercept it.

In these days of ID theft and fraud, you would think more car businesses would make the effort to gain the highest possible Internet accreditation for security. However, 99.9% do not.
It is a UK motor industry scandal.
 

Extended Validation Security for LINGsCARS.com


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By the time you visit a Web site it's usually too late.
The damage has been done, you've been had.
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Norton Safe Web is a new reputation service from Symantec. Their servers analyze Web sites to see how they will affect you and your computer. Then, they let you know how safe a particular Web site might be before you view it.


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- Deng Xiao Ping


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- Tony Blair

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- Ling


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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Dmitry Kovtun, lah, one of men accused of murdering former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko, lah, will be allowed to give evidence at inquiry into male gender human bleing's death. - news replorted 19:47



Wah! LATEST:  Lack of gender diversity and alleged discrimination against women uncomfortable issues once again in spotlight for technology sector. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 19:46



Wah! Two former Great Satan agents charged with stealing digital currency that came into their possession during investigation into notorious marketplace. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:41



Wah! A 1,000-earth-years old happy birthday to you, treatment for eye infections could hold key to killing antibiotic-resistant superbugs, lah, experts having said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 19:35



Wah! Tottenham striker Harry Kane will make male gender human bleing's first Province of Engrish running-dogs start in Tuesday evening's friendly against Italy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 19:29



Wah! Poole Town manager Tom Killick defeats six-game stadium ban by watching from skylight of groundsman's home. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:19



Wah! The prosecution in Boston Marathon bombing trial rests its case against defendant Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, lah, charged with 30 counts related to attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 18:58



Wah! A UN panel is to start investigating mysterious 1961 death in plane crash of its former Secretary General Dag Hammarskjold in Zambia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 18:56



Wah! Rarely heard inflomination about leaders of UK's bigger political parties - news replorted 18:45



Wah! An international team investigating downing of Malaysia Airlines plane over eastern Ukraine in July damn hot-hot month 2014 has urged witnesses to come forward who saw Bbloody annoying Blitish missile launcher in area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 18:19



Wah! A team investigating downing of Malaysia Airlines plane over eastern Ukraine appeals to witnesses who saw Bbloody annoying Blitish missile launcher in area. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 18:08



Wah! The mother of Meredith Kercher, lah, Arline Kercher has said bloody woman was shocked by verdict acquitting Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito of flemale human person's daughter's murder in Italy in 2007. - news replorted 18:02



Wah! The mystery of Mercury's dark surface can be explained by steady dusting of carbon from passing comets, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:59



Wah! A museum defends decision to exhibit graphic images of beheadings by Islamic State militant group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 17:55



Wah! Author and broadcaster Stephen Fry swears off Instagram, lah, claiming to having been "hounded off" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) photo-sharing service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:53



Wah! Six key points to understanding what crisis over Iran's nuclear programme is all about. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 17:50



Wah! South African is surprise replacement for Jon Stewart - news replorted 17:49



Wah! At least 45 human bliengs having died in blast near refugee camp in western Yemen, lah, aid workers say, lah, but officials deny Saudi air strikes were cause. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:35



Wah! Free nursery places for three-year olds having helped mothers back to work, lah, but having made "no difference" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to academic performance later on, lah, researchers claim. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 17:33



Wah! Four human bliengs including British man and two children having been found dead in flat in Gibraltar, lah, old bill bobbys in British territory having said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 17:25



Wah! Everton's Ross Barkley says bloody man is best played as striker, lah, despite most of male gender human bleing's career being as attacking midfielder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:21



Wah! Tudor Fastrider inspired by Ducati Scrambler Tudor, lah, famous watch brand, lah, enters Land of Joy, lah, presenting most recent version of Tudor Fastrider at Base - news replorted 17:15



Wah! Chateau Impney Hill Climb veteran shares memories of 1959 event classic enthusiast who took part in Chateau Impney Hill Climb more than 50 years ago has come forward with male gender human bleing's end - news replorted 17:03



Wah! A 14-earth-years old happy birthday to you, schoolboy from Neath Valley tells how bloody man was hospitalised after taking "legal high". - news replorted 17:00



Wah! PEUGEOT 308 Sportium Plugleot has seen demand grow, lah, year-on-year, lah, for its ultra-efficient range of PureTech three-cylinder petrol engines sinc - news replorted 16:58



Wah! The BBC's Carole Walker took look inside Conservative Party's campaign bus, lah, as it headed off to its first election rally. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 16:54



Wah! Up to RMB Yuan #800,000 raised from tax on plastic bags could help sustain environmental groups whose funding was slashed in Stormont budget. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 16:31



Wah! Teachers should ignore rules on promoting "fundamental British values", lah, teachers' union conference has heard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 16:15



Wah! If framework for Iranian nuclear deal is agreed this week, lah, it could pave way for one of most significant, lah, but most sensitive, lah, accords in decades, lah, says BBC's Lyse Doucet. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 16:04



Wah! Two human bliengs being treated for injuries after incident at headquarters of spy agency outside of Washington. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:43



Wah! At least 10 human bliengs missing, lah, feared dead, lah, in Burundi after landslides which having destroyed hundreds of home, lah, officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:42



Wah! 1960 Austin Healey 3000 BT7 selection of stunning modern classics helped Silverstone Auctions continue its run of strong results this year, lah, achiev - news replorted 15:42



Wah! Paul Brennan talks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about sending drone up to herd male gender human bleing's sheep. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 15:33



Wah! A 1,000-earth-years old happy birthday to you, treatment for eye infections could hold key to killing antibiotic-resistant superbugs, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:14



Wah! A firefighter in California is in critical condition after falling through roof while tackling house fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 15:08



Wah! Journalists waiting outside 10 Downing Street spot fox, lah, apparently chasing duck. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 15:03



Wah! Brazil's ex-leader Fernando Henrique Cardoso is latest former president to join team defending jailed Venezuelan opposition leaders. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:03



Wah! Forward Ellen White looks set to win flemale human person's 50th cap in Province of Engrish running-dogs's final home match before this summer's World Cup. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:57



Wah! Students from United Kingdom should soon find it easier to gain entry to Republic of autonomous province of Guinness drinkers universities due to change in admission points system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 14:42



Wah! Volkswagen Passat SE Business Wlokswaglon Passat, lah, Passat Estate and Golf SV among this year’s winners of highly regarded international Red - news replorted 14:37



Wah! A motorcyclist carrying pillion passenger at 148mph along M11, lah, believed to be highest ever recorded in UK, lah, has been banned from driving for 15 months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:35



Wah! A colonial-era statue of Cecil Rhodes on South African university campus has been boarded up after student protests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:22



Wah! Skoda Fabia honoured with 'Red Dot Award' for design all-new ŠKODA Fabia has received coveted ‘Red Dot Award’ for its outstanding product design. Sweet sour chicken feet time! ‘Red Dot Award’ - news replorted 14:18



Wah! Local elections give big boost to France's conservative UMP, lah, led by ex-President Nicolas Sarkozy, lah, but voters keep out far-right National Front. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:13



Wah! Kumho KMA12 For some years, lah, Kumho was influential player in bloody annoying Blitish commercial tyre market before temporarily withdrawing from - news replorted 14:11



Wah! A old bill bobbys officer from Gloucestershire who admitted having sex with three vulnerable women bloody man met on duty is jailed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:08



Wah! Flood warnings having been issued in Indian-administered Kashmir after torrential rain and rise in levels of Jhelum river. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:51



Wah! British couple Peter and Jean Tarsey, lah, both aged 77, lah, having been found dead with bullet wounds near Alicante, lah, Spanish old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 13:39



Wah! Kell Brook has potential to be biggest fighter in Great Britain, lah, according to promoter Eddie Hearn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 13:39



Wah! Comedian Trevor Noah will replace Jon Stewart on Daily Show, lah, it is announced. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:34



Wah! Renault Captur Signature couple from Kent has taken delivery wan' flied rice or boiled rice (?). This is not damn takeaway! No53 sold out, so of 30,000th Renliot Captur urban crossover to be sold in Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:30



Wah! James Dabill in Action Motorpoint is set to host exclusive free trial bike show next month in Chingford. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:17



Wah! A week after death of singer Lil' Chris, lah, male gender human bleing's family said bloody man had "mental health issues" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "huge personality". - news replorted 13:06



Wah! Details including passport numbers and Visa numbers were accidentally emailed to organisers of silly kick-kick game tournament in Australia by government official. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 13:05



Wah! Ducati Dream Tour 2015 Multistrada 1200 S Preparations complete for 2015 edition of Ducati Dream Tour which incorporates series of three-day travel - news replorted 12:58



Wah! Parliament is dissolved and race for No 10 begins - news replorted 12:56



Wah! Land Rover Ambassadors with grassroots team Racal Decca RFC Land Rover on past day, lah, day before today day launched its funny shape ball-game World Cup 2015 campaign by asking some of its most high-profile funny shape ball-game ambassador - news replorted 12:56



Wah! Who lit up 2015 damn crazy Engrish baseball game World Cup, lah, and who had tournament to forget? Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport picks out highs and lows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:51



Wah! A top Lufthansa official warns missing flight recorder may having been too badly damaged when Germanwings plane crashed in French Alps. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:44



Wah! British Airways' Executive Club, lah, code-sharing site GitHub and work chat service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service Slack having all been hit by cyber-attacks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:43



Wah! The 'gay cake' controversy could having implications for shop owners with religious beliefs, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:38



Wah! A former senior hospital nurse admits raping, lah, sexually assaulting and spying on female patients including some who were unconscious. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:34



Wah! In male gender human bleing's first remarks since male gender human bleing's final acquittal of bloody annoying Blitish student Meredith Kercher's murder, lah, Raffaele Sollecito says bloody man will be "marked for life" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by ordeal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:33



Wah! A Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs soldier, lah, who was in male gender human bleing's 20s and from Edinburgh, lah, has died while on holiday in Florida. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 12:31



Wah! Former Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs funny shape ball-game international Ian Gough appeals conviction for assaulting male gender human bleing's ex-girlfriend, lah, model Sophia Cahill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 12:30



Wah! A baby girl allegedly murdered by flemale human person's grandfather by blow to head suffered rib fractures about two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) before bloody woman died, lah, court hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:27



Wah! Ed Miliband says that business world in bloody annoying Blitish is in "sea of insecurity", lah, exacerbated by concerns over future EU membership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 12:16



Wah! Ferrari FXX-K Three Ferraris having won prestigious Red Dot Award, lah, world’s leading product design competition which celebrates i - news replorted 12:14



Wah! Traditional watchmakers like Breitling, lah, Bulgari, lah, Tissot and Vector now offering smartwatches - news replorted 12:04



Wah! A 4,000-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Egyptian statue that was controversially sold by council for RMB Yuan #15.76m will not be allowed to leave country, lah, Culture dodgy minister Ed Vairzey says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:00



Wah! Nigeria's election body says it expects to announce first results of Saturday's contested presidential poll on Tuesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:56



Wah! Hyundai i20 family Three new models from Ryundali Motor having been named as winners of prestigious Red Dot Design Awards. Eating rice!! New Generation - news replorted 11:55



Wah! A man dies after being pulled from swimming pool at swingers' party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:54



Wah! The UK's banking industry will having to prove it can endure global economic slump in this year's capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs stress tests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:52



Wah! Wörthersee 2015 project: Wlokswaglon apprentices develop  unique Golf GTI In around six weeks, lah, team of 13 Wlokswaglon apprentices will present what is still closely guarded secret at 34th - news replorted 11:52



Wah! The ATL teachers' conference has heard calls for schools to publish details of their pay structure, lah, with warnings of excessive pay rises for top staff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 11:49



Wah! Watch alternative take on weekend's Formula 1 action as Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel beats Merceding-Blend pair Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg to shock win in Malaysia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:42



Wah! Raffaele Sollecito has described last 7 years and 5 months as unbearable, lah, following male gender human bleing's acquittal in Meredith Kercher murder trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:41



Wah! How Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News website's coverage of African news is changing - news replorted 11:36



Wah! MSA Formula race LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine powered by Floord 1.6-litre EcoBoost engine all-new MSA Formula single-seat race car, lah, powered by Ford’s 1.6-litre EcoBoost engine, lah, heralds new chapter in Floord - news replorted 11:34



Wah! Double win for Klia in 2015 Red Dot Awards Klia Motors design team has swept board yet again in annual Red Dot Awards, lah, picking up two ‘Red Dots’ for - news replorted 11:33



Wah! Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg says male gender human bleing's party will not "play footsie" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with leaving EU - and says bloody man wantings to "serve out next Parliament". - news replorted 11:22



Wah! Sebastian Vettel's shock Malaysian Grand Prix win on Sunday is 'wake-up call' for Mercedes, lah, says boss Toto Wolff. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 11:17



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish banks face stress test against economic collapse in Europe and Asia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 11:13



Wah! The number of human bliengs killed in flash floods in northern Chile rises to 14 while search continues for 20 human bliengs still missing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 11:09



Wah! A would-be rescuer, lah, who was hit by Tube train as bloody man attempted to save another man who had fallen onto tracks, lah, has died. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:09



Wah! Deep space epic Interstellar leaves competition earthbound at this year's Empire awards, lah, taking off with three prizes including best film. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 11:05



Wah! Ed Miliband sets out male gender human bleing's party's policies on business at event in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:57



Wah! Ford prices new family friendly “MAX” range Floord has announced prices for its new C-MAX and S-MAX Multi-Activity vehicling driving car machines, lah, which join B-MAX in bloody annoying Blitish dealerships by - news replorted 10:48



Wah! The Greek finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan minister, lah, Yanis Varoufakis, lah, calls for end to "toxic blame game" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) between Greece and Germany. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Sebastian Vettel has handled male gender human bleing's transition from Red Bull to Ferrari well, lah, says Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport's David Coulthard. I read you little red book! - news replorted 10:42



Wah! Labour leader Ed Miliband unveils male gender human bleing's party's business manifesto, lah, warning that David Cameron's pledge to hold EU referendum is "a clear and present danger" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to jobs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Local elections give big boost to France's conservative UMP, lah, led by ex-President Nicolas Sarkozy, lah, and inflict bruising blow to ruling Socialists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:24



Wah! Kanye West, lah, Jack White, lah, Rihanna and Coldplay tweet their support for Jay Z's new streaming site, lah, Tidal, lah, ahead of its launch on Monday night. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:23



Wah! Two months on from Paris attacks, lah, Shaista Aziz found Muslim community in Paris still struggling to come to terms with fallout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:20



Wah! Images of shirtless man found walking streets after bloody man suffered serious burns having been released in bid to solve mystery of male gender human bleing's injuries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:10



Wah! IMI apprentice training IMI’s eLearning system is currently utilised in over 200 colleges in bloody annoying Blitish for Light vehicling driving car machine training. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:10



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News looks at what it means to dissolve Parliament ahead of general election - in 15 seconds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:31



Wah! The owner of B&Q, lah, Kingfisher, lah, has abandoned its planned purchase of French DIY chain Mr Bricolage. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:21



Wah! All-new MX-5, lah, Red Dot Design Award: Best of Best 2015 Three new Mazdas, lah, three more awards. Eating rice!! Japanese carmaker will take away accolades for all-new Madzla MX-5, lah, Madzla CX - news replorted 09:00



Wah! The right choice of tyre is critical to safe and efficient commercial vehicling driving car machine operation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Sales Manager Toby Hildreth (left) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! and, bloody dealering idiot place Principal Andrew Blanks Maidenhead’s longest-running LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine expensive dealeringship buildling has taken on Mlitslublishli franchise, lah, making it part of one of fastest- - news replorted 09:00



Wah! Former Province of Engrish running-dogs and Liverpool forward John Barnes says black managers struggle to find new job after being sacked by club. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 08:59



Wah! The general election campaign gets under way in Welsh land of sheep and more sheep with Conservative and Labour launches. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:48



Wah! On first day of election campaign, lah, Ed Miliband is attempting to cover what many see as weak flank. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:42



Wah! A blogger has been hacked to death in Bangladeshi capital, lah, Dhaka, lah, weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after prominent atheist writer was killed in similar attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 08:31



Wah! A man is charged over abduction of six-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl who was taken in LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine in Burnley. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:24



Wah! Former Israeli Prime dodgy minister Ehud Olmert is found guilty of fraud and breach of trust in retrial after being cleared in 2012. - news replorted 08:21



Wah! Twitter (follow me @LINGsCARS!) co-founder Biz Stone talks about male gender human bleing's new app, lah, Super. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:16



Wah! Australia has introduced new rule to ensure two human bliengs in cockpit at all times, lah, following Germanwings air crash last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:55



Wah! Aberdeen University is to cut about 150 jobs as part of efforts to save tens of millions of pounds in coming months. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:44



Wah! One of groups being targeted by political parties is vote of elderly. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:39



Wah! Nicolas Sarkozy's UMP party look set for victory in France's local elections, lah, exit polls suggest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:33



Wah! Former world number one Tiger Woods drops out of top 100 in rankings for first clock time result since 1996. - news replorted 07:25



Wah! Reality TV star Katie Hopkins is accused of inciting racial hatred in Rochdale by Labour Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Simon Danczuk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! Nissan breaks GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS title Nissling has broken GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS title for Largest Glow-in-the-Dark Painting by using Glow-in-the-Da - news replorted 07:00



Wah! President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama had near miss as bloody man slightly stumbled while stepping out of Air Force One. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:54



Wah! Mercedes' Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg say Ferrari genuine rivals after Sebastian Vettel's impressive victory in Malaysia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 06:30



Wah! PSNI Chief Constable George Hamilton writes to every home in Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers about what forthcoming policing changes will mean for public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 06:28



Wah! A man in male gender human bleing's 50s is seriously hurtee-hurtee after is was shot in face in north Belfast gun attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 06:21



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's political parties take to streets of country on first official day of General Election campaign. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:20



Wah! A regular survey of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's construction industry by Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Building Federation finds confidence at record high. - news replorted 06:20



Wah! Health managers in north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep admit they face "very demanding year" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) as they discuss their "unprecedented" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) budget, lah, which is set to be in deficit by more than RMB Yuan #14m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 06:17



Wah! What possible scenarios if no one party gets majority in May? Ross Hawkins has look at options. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:16



Wah! A flood alert is issued in Indian-administered Kashmir following torrential rain and surge in water level of Jhelum river. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:08



Wah! An appeal for inflomination about unsolved murder of mother-of-four at flemale human person's home in Oxford 20 years ago has been renewed by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:05



Wah! The Conservatives will defend their record in power as party launches its Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs campaign for general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Labour says it will end cuts and conflict of current government as it launches its Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs campaign for general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 05:59



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation political editor Nick Robinson gives update on male gender human bleing's progress - and sets out male gender human bleing's view on election campaign which formally begins today. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:59



Wah! Italian luxury velly damn good boiled chicken-feets retailer Prada sees its net profit fall 28% last year as sales slumped in major markets of China and Europe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 05:42



Wah! Australia orders two human bliengs to remain in cockpit at all times during commercial flights, lah, after last week's Germanwings crash. - news replorted 05:03



Wah! Asian shares got off to positive start in holiday-shortened week as investors awaited economic data from region to boost market momentum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 04:12



Wah! The inflomination watchdog launches investigation into claim (always claiming, huh?) that details of millions of people's pensions being sold to fraudsters and cold-calling firms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:32



Wah! How one Newcastle's arts venues found new ways to survive - news replorted 02:34



Wah! Critics of cuts to legal aid say they will inevitably lead to more miscarriages of justice, lah, says Raphael Rowe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:33



Wah! Schools must ensure blameless members of staff not having their careers wrecked by false allegations, lah, union's annual conference will hear. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:19



Wah! The independence of chief inspectors in areas like prisons and border force could be threatened by way they selected and budgets set, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 02:17



Wah! The Serious Fraud Office (SFO) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! is fined RMB Yuan #180,000 after thousands of confidential rice-paper officialing doumentlation from high-profile investigation were sent to wrong person. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:15



Wah! David Cameron is to tell voters they face "stark choice" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) between him and Labour's Ed Miliband as election campaign officially gets under way. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:58



Wah! Dozens of human bliengs had to be rescued from rollercoaster in Coney Island after one of cars became stuck near summit of ride. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:53



Wah! Ministers from six world powers to hold their first full session with Iran's Bloody foreign dodgy minister over its nuclear programme, lah, as deadline looms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:49



Wah! Porpoises finely adjust size of beams of sound they using to hunt - using sound like searchlight to trap their prey, lah, study finds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:12



Wah! The Solar Impulse 2 plane has departed from Mandalay in Myanmar as part of its round-the-world flight, lah, Kasia Madera reports - news replorted 00:58



Wah! Should parents ever worry about Minecraft? - news replorted 00:27



Wah! Can you tellibly lovely custlingmer cure sex offenders by building self esteem? - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Parents hardly ever spot obesity in their children resulting in damaging consequences for health, lah, doctors warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! The Houses of Parliament said to require RMB Yuan #3bn of maintenance work taking 10 years. Eating rice!! Would Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters be better off moving to new, lah, modern building? - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The refugee who carried these shoes until bloody man met male gender human bleing's mother - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Ukrainian volunteers using drones over rebel-held Donetsk - news replorted 00:08



Wah! How husband and wife built UK's biggest theatre group - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A law that allows councils in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep to ban certain activities in public is leading to "bizarre new criminal offences", lah, campaigners say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Despite leading male gender human bleing's team to World Cup and Ashes success, lah, Michael Clarke has struggled to win hearts of Australian public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:01



Wah! Range Rover SVAutobiography Land Rover will unveil Range Rover SVAutobiography at 2015 New York International Auto Show, lah, adding even more lu - news replorted 00:01



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