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CAR LEASING
Want a cheap
new lease car?

Start HERE!


Car and Vehicle leasing is the leasing of the use of a motor vehicle for a fixed or indefinite period of time. It is commonly offered by dealers as an alternative to car or vehicle purchase. The key difference in a lease is that after the lease expires, the lessee must return the car or vehicle to the dealer or buy it.

Rationale:
Car Leasing offers advantages to both buyers and sellers. For the buyer, lease payments will usually be lower than payments on a car loan would be and qualification is usually easier. Some consumers may prefer leasing as it allows them to simply return a car and select a new model when the lease expires, allowing a consumer to drive a new vehicle every few years without the responsibility of selling the old vehicles. A lessee does not have to worry about the future value of the car or vehicle, while a vehicle owner does.

For the leasor, leasing generates income from a vehicle the leasor still owns and will be able to sell or lease again once the original lease has expired. As consumers will typically use a leased vehicle for a shorter period of time than one they buy outright, leasing may generate repeat customers more quickly, which may fit into various aspects of a dealer\'s business model.

Lease agreement:
Lease agreements typically stipulate an early termination fee and limit the number of miles a lessee can drive (for passenger cars, a common number is 10,000 to 15,000 miles per year of the lease). If the mileage allowance is exceeded, fees may apply. Dealers will typically allow a lessee to negotiate a higher mileage allowance, for a higher lease payment. Car Lease agreements usually specify how much wear on the vehicle is allowable, and the lessee may face a fee if that amount of wear has been exceeded.

The actual car lease payments are calculated very similarly to the way loan payments are, but instead of an APR, the company uses something called the money factor.

At the end of a lease term, the leasee must either return the car or vehicle to the owner or purchase it. The end of lease price is usually agreed upon when the lease is signed.
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Hi! I am Ling Cheap Car Leasing - WAH! from Dragons' Den. I lease cheap new cars!
UPDATE... The latest car I've added is a Peugeot 108 1.0 i (68bhp) Active Hatchback 5dr 998cc Petrol at £153.66 inc VAT at 16:36 yesterday - Ling
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Customer Letter READ; 3 Micra letters!     
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Nissan Micra
Tree co2:115g  CC  Fuel56mpg
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Customer Letter READ; 5 C1 letters!     
Free Metallic Paint
Citroen C1
Tree co2:99g  AA  Fuel65mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Immediate Delivery
Free Metallic Paint
DeLorean DMC-12
No environmental data available...
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Nissan Micra 1.2 i 12v (78bhp) Visia Hatchback 5dr 1198cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintFlat
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£115.65
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£6.74 per day
counting tyres, tax,
petrol and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2090560
Spacer Citroen C1 1.2 PureTech 12v (82bhp) Flair Hatchback 5dr 1199cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintMet
3+11 i 1 year lease
You pay...
£116.20
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£6.55 per day
counting tyres, tax,
petrol and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2095041
Spacer DeLorean DMC-12 2.8 i V6 (170bhp) Gullwing Coupe (2-seat) 2dr 2849cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintMet
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£125.99
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
I don't have enough info to generate the true running cost for this car...
Ling's Deal ID = 1811194
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"Ling always gives excellent service, she tries harder" - Brian Slingsby, Four Plus 4 Ltd  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 34 Civic letters!     
Flat Paint
Honda Civic
Tree co2:129g  DD  Fuel52mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Nissan Juke
Tree co2:104g  BB  Fuel70mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Nissan Juke
Tree co2:104g  BB  Fuel70mpg
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Honda Civic 1.4 i VTEC 16v (98bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1339cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintFlat
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£149.99
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£8.10 per day
counting tyres, tax,
petrol and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096162
Spacer Nissan Juke 1.5 dCi 8v (108bhp) Acenta Premium Hatchback 5dr 1461cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+47 i 4 year lease
You pay...
£151.15
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£7.42 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096236
Spacer Nissan Juke 1.5 dCi 8v (108bhp) Acenta Premium Hatchback 5dr 1461cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£157.59
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£7.67 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096235
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"Ling is just a little on the wild and wacky side" - Leslie Spiers, Proem Consulting  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Skoda Rapid
Tree co2:125g  DD  Fuel52mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Peugeot 208
Tree co2:104g  BB  Fuel62mpg
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Customer Letter READ; 34 Civic letters!     
Flat Paint
Honda Civic
Tree co2:94g  AA  Fuel78mpg
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Skoda Rapid 1.2 TSI 8v (105bhp) Sport Hatchback 5dr 1197cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintMet
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£164.52
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£8.60 per day
counting tyres, tax,
petrol and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2095131
Spacer Peugeot 208 1.2 Hatchback (80bhp) Allure Hatchback 5dr 1199cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£164.94
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£8.29 per day
counting tyres, tax,
petrol and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2080640
Spacer Honda Civic 1.6 i DTEC 16v (118bhp) S Hatchback 5dr 1597cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintFlat
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£175.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£7.95 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096303
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"Website is fun/crazy/easy to use" - Carl Gregg, NE4 5SP  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Flat Paint
Peugeot 208
Tree co2:125g    Fuel52mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Nissan Juke
Tree co2:104g  BB  Fuel70mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Nissan Pulsar
Tree co2:118g  CC  Fuel78mpg
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Peugeot 208 1.6 e THP (208bhp) GTi Prestige Hatchback 3dr 1598cc
PetrolPetrol ManMan PaintFlat
3+17 i 18 mth lease
You pay...
£177.16
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.11 per day
counting tyres, tax,
petrol and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096148
Spacer Nissan Juke 1.5 dCi 8v (108bhp) Acenta Premium Hatchback 5dr 1461cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£185.95
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£8.86 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096234
Spacer Nissan Pulsar 1.5 dCi 8v (110bhp) N-Tec Hatchback 5dr 1461cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£187.64
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£8.74 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096240
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"Ling always gives excellent service, she tries harder" - Brian Slingsby, Four Plus 4 Ltd  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 1 Leon letter!     
Free Metallic Paint
Seat Leon
Tree co2:106g  BB  Fuel68mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Honda Civic Tourer
Tree co2:99g  AA  Fuel74mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Immediate Delivery
Free Metallic Paint
Nissan Juke
Tree co2:104g  BB  Fuel70mpg
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Seat Leon 2.0 TDI 16v (147bhp) FR Technology Pack Hatchback 5dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£193.13
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.17 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096251
Spacer Honda Civic Tourer (New Shape) 1.6 i DTEC 16v (118bhp) S Estate 5dr 1597cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+47 i 4 year lease
You pay...
£201.51
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£8.89 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2094611
Spacer Nissan Juke 1.5 dCi 8v (108bhp) Acenta Premium Hatchback 5dr 1461cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£209.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.69 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2094621
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"Good service all round" - Leon Wright, Vet Direct Services  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Flat Paint
Volkswagen Tiguan
Tree co2:130g    FuelN/Ampg
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Customer Letter READ; 6 Octavia letters!
Free Metallic Paint
Skoda Octavia
Tree co2:119g  CC  Fuel61mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Honda Civic Tourer
Tree co2:99g  AA  Fuel74mpg
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Volkswagen Tiguan 2.0 TDi Bluemotion Tech (150bhp) Match (New Euro VI Engine) 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintFlat
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£209.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
I don't have enough info to generate the true running cost for this car...
Ling's Deal ID = 2096241
Spacer Skoda Octavia 2.0 TDI CR (184bhp) vRS Hatchback 5dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+47 i 4 year lease
You pay...
£209.51
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.68 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2080703
Spacer Honda Civic Tourer (New Shape) 1.6 i DTEC 16v (118bhp) S Estate 5dr 1597cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£212.52
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.34 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2094610
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"The People's Liberation Army is very pleased with the tanks" - Hu JinTao, Beijing  ...1528 letters HERE
Separator
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Seat Leon ST
Tree co2:106g  BB  Fuel68mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Ford Focus ST
Tree co2:110g  BB  Fuel67mpg
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Honda Civic Tourer
Tree co2:99g  AA  Fuel74mpg
Spacer
Seat Leon ST 2.0 TDI (147bhp) FR Technology Pack Estate 5dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£213.12
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.88 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096250
Spacer Ford Focus ST 2.0 TDi (185bhp) 2 Hatchback 5dr 1998cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£214.16
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.95 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2090294
Spacer Honda Civic Tourer (New Shape) 1.6 i DTEC 16v (118bhp) S Estate 5dr 1597cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£216.66
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.71 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2094609
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"If anyone finds cheaper/better, please tell me" - Peter Hawkins, Stockton Business Centre  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Flat Paint
Audi A1
Tree co2:92g  AA  Fuel80mpg
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Customer Letter READ; 6 Octavia letters!
Free Metallic Paint
Skoda Octavia
Tree co2:119g  CC  Fuel61mpg
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Ford Focus ST
Tree co2:110g  BB  Fuel67mpg
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Audi A1 1.6 TDI 16v (116bhp) Sport Sportback Hatchback 5dr 1598cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintFlat
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£217.18
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£9.38 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2078399
Spacer Skoda Octavia 2.0 TDI CR (184bhp) vRS Hatchback 5dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£225.97
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£10.55 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2044029
Spacer Ford Focus ST 2.0 TDi (185bhp) 3 Hatchback 5dr 1998cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£228.48
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£10.46 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2090295
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"I love my new VW Passat and your price for the car was the best" - Lucy Jackson, G64 3PL  ...1528 letters HERE
Separator
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Volkswagen CC
Tree co2:125g  DD  Fuel60mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Volkswagen CC
Tree co2:125g  DD  Fuel60mpg
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Flat Paint
Mercedes C-Class Coupe
Tree co2:139g  EE  Fuel53mpg
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Volkswagen CC 2.0 TDi Bluemotion Tech 16v (140bhp) GT Saloon 4dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£244.39
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£11.12 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2095046
Spacer Volkswagen CC 2.0 TDi Bluemotion Tech 16v (140bhp) GT Saloon 4dr 1968cc
DieselDiesel ManMan PaintMet
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£254.12
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£11.74 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2095045
Spacer Mercedes C-Class Coupe 2.1 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (167bhp) C220 CDI AMG Sport Edition Coupe 2dr 2143cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintFlat
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£281.35
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£13.14 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2089294
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"It was a pleasant surprise to receive such great service" - Michael Condon, RM14 1HL  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; 4 E-Class Saloon letters!
Free Metallic Paint
Mercedes E-Class Saloon
No environmental data available...
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Jaguar XF
Tree co2:149g  FF  Fuel52mpg
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Immediate Delivery
Flat Paint
Mercedes C-Class Coupe
Tree co2:139g  EE  Fuel53mpg
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Mercedes E-Class Saloon 2.1 CDi BlueTEC (177bhp) E220 SE Saloon 4dr 2143cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintMet
3+35 i 3 year lease
You pay...
£285.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
I don't have enough info to generate the true running cost for this car...
Ling's Deal ID = 2094615
Spacer Jaguar XF 2.2 d 16v (160bhp) Luxury Saloon 4dr 2179cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintMet
3+47 i 4 year lease
You pay...
£287.35
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£12.85 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096143
Spacer Mercedes C-Class Coupe 2.1 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (167bhp) C220 CDI AMG Sport Edition Premium Plus Coupe 2dr 2143cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintFlat
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£289.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£13.41 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096305
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"Highly recommended" - Gary Grundill, LA13 9PL  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Flat Paint
Mercedes C-Class Coupe
Tree co2:139g  EE  Fuel53mpg
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Customer Letter READ; 1 Kuga letter!     
Free Metallic Paint
Ford Kuga
Tree co2:140g  EE  Fuel52mpg
Spacer
Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Free Metallic Paint
Volvo XC60
Tree co2:169g  HH  Fuel44mpg
Spacer
Mercedes C-Class Coupe 2.1 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (201bhp) C250 CDI AMG Sport Edition Premium Plus Coupe 2dr 2143cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintFlat
3+23 i 2 year lease
You pay...
£290.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£13.45 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2096308
Spacer Ford Kuga 2.0 TDCi (180bhp) Titanium X Sport 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 1997cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintMet
3+11 i 1 year lease
You pay...
£300.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£14.37 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 2081122
Spacer Volvo XC60 2.4 D5 20v (215bhp) R Design Nav 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2400cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintMet
3+11 i 1 year lease
You pay...
£342.86
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£16.56 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 1981869
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"I have now had 5 vehicles from Ling" - Tim Bell, Lemon Printing Company  ...1528 letters HERE
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Customer Letter READ; More car letters here!
Flat Paint
Jaguar XJ Saloon
Tree co2:184g  II  Fuel40mpg
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Jaguar XJ Saloon 3.0 D V6 (271bhp) Luxury Saloon 4dr 2993cc Auto
DieselDiesel AutoAuto PaintFlat
3+47 i 4 year lease
You pay...
£480.00
per month +VAT
Cheap Lease Cars for Hire
Full running cost is
£20.63 per day
counting tyres, tax,
diesel and servicing
Ling's Deal ID = 1860238
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"What a breath of fresh air..." - Alan Young, Words and Wishes Ltd  ...1528 letters HERE
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For 16,198 more lease deals, use the left hand menu!
Honest John HAT Award
If you can't find the car leasing deal you're looking for, use the tools below or request a bespoke leasing quote!

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CAR-U-LIKE-ATOR

Play with my fruit machine petrol pump and see which cars it chooses for you!

Request car lease Quote

Fill in my quote request form and I'll do my best to find a cheap car to match your requirement!

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Leasing Price List

I have over 500 lease cars on my price list. View it here (it may be easier to print onto paper)!

Top 20 Lease Cars

View my Top Of The Pops and see which leasing cars are the current best sellers. This may inspire you!

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Live Chat

If all else fails contact me during office hours for an online chat about your car.


...how it works!


1) Choose a car to lease or get a quote


2) Fill in online car leasing proposal form


3) Get accepted for contract hire finance


4) Sign a lease order form


5) Complete posted documents


6) Take lease delivery, like Chinese takeaway


7) Drive and show off & impress stupid friends


8) After a few years, order a new lease car or walk away... you have no commitment!

PEOPLE OF BRITAIN
...you can trust me,
I AM LING!
      

            
lingscars.com
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Live!!
CLICK to VIEW!
Online Service
Response Times
Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
 
74 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
 
171 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
...LING REPLIES IN:
  HRS : MINUTES sec  
Lingscars.com Limited (GB)
Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times above based on last 4 hour period between
9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling
WOW! UK's best service times!
No Waiting
lingscars.com
Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 663330
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  A motorcyclist killed in collision with 4x4 in Pembrokeshire is named. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:32



Wah! LATEST:  Doctor John Hinds, lah, one of so-called 'flying doctors' of Irish motorcycle racing, lah, dies at motorcycle event in Republic of Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:28



Wah! Greeks will go to polls on Sunday in crucial referendum on whether to accept terms of international bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 14:48



Wah! If Greeks vote "No" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on Sunday, lah, their banks could go from their current frozen state to being totally and utterly crippled. I read you little red book! - news replorted 14:44



Wah! Lightning lights up bloody annoying Blitish - news replorted 14:37



Wah! Tunisia declares state of emergency, lah, just over week after 38 human bliengs were killed in attack in resort city of Sousse. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 14:34



Wah! At least 14 human bliengs missing after shoe factory collapses in eastern China, lah, according to Super-Duper-Chinese-State state media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:34



Wah! Lewis Hamilton beats team-mate Nico Rosberg in all-Mercedes battle for pole position at British Grand Prix. - news replorted 14:17



Wah! Ellen Pao, lah, CEO at Reddit, lah, says sorry over way "we handled transition" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after community complains about sacking of popular employee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:52



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's children's commissioner renews male gender human bleing's attack on bloody annoying Blitish government's plans for ĀRMB Yuan #12bn of welfare cuts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:12



Wah! A fire which broke out school in Wrexham is believed to having been caused by overheated light fitting. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 13:09



Wah! US Tommy Atkins Liberation Army sun cream and tins of bacon among finds on Salisbury Plain revealed by archaeologists to mark Great Satan Independence Day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:42



Wah! Syrian forces and their Lebanese Shia Muslim allies carry out major offensive to controlling in driving manner rebels from strategically important town of Zabadani. - news replorted 12:31



Wah! Two human bliengs appear in court charged in connection with shotgun being fired at playground in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Striker Lukas Podolski leaves Arsenal and will complete male gender human bleing's move to Galatasaray, lah, according to Turkish champions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:50



Wah! Large areas of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having been hit by spectacular thunder and lightning storm for second clock time result in three days. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:44



Wah! US golfer Bubba Watson is to paint over Confederate flag on LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine from Dukes of Hazzard TV series, lah, latest backlash against symbol. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:38



Wah! Australia fast bowler Ryan Harris announces male gender human bleing's retirement from sport and will miss Ashes series because of knee injury. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:32



Wah! Greek finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan' borrow many Yuan dodgy minister Yanis Varoufakis accuses Athens' creditors of "terrorism", lah, day before referendum on international bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:23



Wah! Lewis Hamilton sets pace in final practice as drivers prepare for qualifying at British Grand Prix. - news replorted 11:10



Wah! A large Orange order (piece of paper signee upee) parade is being held in Glasgow city centre amid calls from old bill bobbys and organisers for event to pass peacefully. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:10



Wah! Fierce electrical storms hit much of bloody annoying Blitish overnight with Londoners witnessing spectacular lightning display. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 11:00



Wah! A missing bloody annoying Blitish family of 12 having joined so-called Islamic State and "safer than ever", lah, according to statement said to be on their behalf. Firecracker break! BANG BANG! - news replorted 10:33



Wah! Financial incentives should not be answer to attracting doctors into general practice, lah, experts say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:04



Wah! Two men killed in microlight crash at airfield in Oxfordshire - news replorted 09:53



Wah! Prime dodgy minister David Cameron says Budget will include package of measures to help human bliengs buy their own home and boost house building. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:36



Wah! Tournaments for blind and visually impaired players on increase. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 09:32



Wah! Every year soldiers and horses of Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment leave London (capital of Great England) for summer training in Norfolk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:28



Wah! Tributes paid to founder of modern cheerleading, lah, Lawrence "Herkie" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) Herkimer, lah, who has died at age of 89. - news replorted 09:26



Wah! The funeral of one of Irish victims of gun attack in Tunisia which killed 38 human bliengs is due to take place in County Meath later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:22



Wah! One of Nama's Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers Advisory Committee members worked from office in Tughans' building in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:20



Wah! Philippines old bill bobbys file murder charges against owner and crew of ferry that capsized off coast of Leyte, lah, killing at least 56 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:58



Wah! Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff has unveiled torch to be used at 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:58



Wah! A Judge and man suspected of burglary were 'reunited' briefly during court hearing in Miami, lah, in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:42



Wah! Heavy rain and thunderstorms could hit parts of Welsh land of sheep and more sheep on Saturday, lah, Met Office warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:20



Wah! A teenager remains in critical condition in hospital after being pulled from water in Cardiff Bay on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:15



Wah! James Robbins considers global and historical significance of Iran reaching nuclear deal as Bloody foreign dodgy ministers of six world powers meet in Vienna. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:48



Wah! Channel Tunnel services having been disrupted after about 150 migrants tried to storm tunnel terminal on French side., lah, Eurotunnel says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:19



Wah! Councils in Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep call for new powers to tackle "huge and spiralling" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) problem of human bliengs throwing litter from vehicling driving car machines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:54



Wah! Solar Impulse aircraft lands in Hawaii without refuelling after record-breaking flight around world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:16



Wah! Tupou VI has been formally crowned king of Tonga in capital, lah, Nuku'alofa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 05:08



Wah! The king of Pacific island nation of Tonga, lah, Tupou VI, lah, is formally crowned, lah, more than three years after ascending to throne. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:58



Wah! The final five bodies of British victims killed in Tunisia beach attack due to be flown back to bloody annoying Blitish later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:49



Wah! A 1,000-strong rally called by Ukraine's ultra-nationalists is held in capital, lah, Kiev, lah, demanding formal declaration of fighty bang-bang on rebels in east. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:38



Wah! Chancellor George Osborne is to announce end of inheritance tax on family homes worth up to ĀRMB Yuan #1m in Wednesday's Budget. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:03



Wah! The family of old bill bobbys officer shot by gunman Raoul Moat still waiting for justice five years later, lah, male gender human bleing's grieving twin brother says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:42



Wah! A leading researcher says industry must "wake up and invest more" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in urinary catheters - news replorted 02:43



Wah! A Judge and man suspected of burglary were 'reunited' briefly during court hearing in Miami, lah, in Us. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:21



Wah! Iran's Bloody foreign dodgy minister uses YouTube posting to say comprehensive agreement over its nuclear programme has never been closer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:21



Wah! Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff unveils torch to be used at 2016 Olympics and says Rio Games will bring "honour and pride". - news replorted 02:04



Wah! Schools on verge of becoming exam factories that damage pupils' mental health and self-esteem, lah, says NUt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 01:51



Wah! Catheter using 'needs rethink' - news replorted 01:36



Wah! The HIV positive man challenging public perceptions - news replorted 01:05



Wah! A British fighty bang-bang hero, lah, who fought in Korean War, lah, is commemorated on South Korean stamp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 01:03



Wah! Will Gompertz wonders why theatre audiences don' express their dissatisfaction more audibly. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:53



Wah! Did science fiction writer predict atom bomb 30 years before? - news replorted 00:40



Wah! Amateur footballers in Edinburgh attempting to break world record for longest 11-a-side match by playing for 105 hours. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:26



Wah! The special water flown in for royal christening - news replorted 00:20



Wah! Tim Coulson was travelling eastbound on Circle Line train when suicide bomber blew up passing westbound train in 7/7 attacks. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:19



Wah! Minecon, lah, global gathering for fans of video game Minecraft, lah, takes place in London (capital of Great England) this weekend - news replorted 00:16



Wah! The team recreating ZX Spectrum's spongy keyboard tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation it has received what is likely to be final product. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Scientists say compound in cat urine changes mouse behaviour, lah, making them less afraid of cats. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! Defending champion Vincenzo Nibali's team Astana is involved in drug-related controversy on eve of Tour de France. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Surveys for Confederation of British Industry find that manufacturing, lah, retails and services growth slowed in second quarter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Greeks on tourist island on referendum - news replorted 00:00



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