LINGsCARS.com – Blog

I am Ling! Cheap new UK cars, life, noodles and fried rice… join in!

Worst Website Competition Britain’s Ugly Ugliest Web Site Vote UK’s Bad Webpage Enter Entry

Enter Britain’s Worst Website Competition – entered by LINGsCARS.com. I am often told my website sucks or that LINGsCARS needs a makeover or a new website design. People say “Your Website is Bad!” Often people tell me LINGsCARS is the worst website in the UK or that no worse webpage exists. Britians Worst Website is [...]

BVRLA Code of Conduct allow Criminal Breach, Illegal Advertising, British Vehicle Rental and Leasing Association John Lewis Lease members ignore mandatory code

BVRLA ignore their “mandatory” code of conduct. The BVRLA is the “British Vehicle Rental and Leasing Association”. SEE MY FULL WEBPAGE DETAIL HERE www.lingscars.com/bvrla.php Established in 1967, the BVRLA claims it is the trade body for companies engaged in the leasing and rental of cars and commercial vehicles. I have a big problem with this [...]

Harley Davidson leasing and contract hire new HARLEY lease CHEAP bike leasing motorbike Harley-Davidson rental motorcycle lease-hire Hog Touring, Softail, Dyna, Sportster and VRSC

I now lease Harley Davidson bikes. Motorbikes have been on LINGsCARS lease list for a long time and finally I have arranged a cheap Harley deal. These are sexy bikes! Modern Harley-branded motorcycles fall into one of five model families: Touring, Softail, Dyna, Sportster and VRSC. Model families are distinguished by the frame, engine, suspension, [...]

BEE CARS BBC Dragons Den Bee electric cars BATTERY CARS Stephen Voller Dragons’ Den Battery Bee One B1 Electric vehicle investment cash for eletric battery cars

Electric cars on BBC Dragons Den. Bee Automobiles or Bee Cars want to make new generation electric cars or eletric cars or electric vehicles or battery cars on Dragons Den. Their boss, Stephen Voller asks Dragons Den investors for £2.5 million cash money for green electric battery powered cars investment. FULL ELECTRIC CAR BEE AUTOMOBILE [...]

Marcus Farrar Chivers Solicitors Bingley Airedale Terriers and beefburgers, Peter Chester cars LINGsCARS Audi VW Golf Astra prisoner lawyer

Being famous is a double sided knife. Marcus Farrar is one of Ling Valentine’s best customer. He is also a high-flying lawyer. Based at Chivers Solicitors in Bingley (a Yorkshire market town famous for Airedale Terriers and beefburgers), Marcus turns opposition solicitors’ legs to jelly when they know he is on the case. Marcus has [...]

Moneytise Moneytize Twitter How Twitter can make money permission adverts advertisments ads ad on Twitter. Brilliant idea to make Twitter Profitable

How to make money on Twitter. Very quick blog: Full info here on my website OK, Adverts from Twitter served as Tweets in the same way adverts are served as adwords. (ie advertisers buy keywords or phrases but also with a time element). Each Tweetadvert is distinguished by (say) a special character or something denoting [...]

Connect Internet Solutions Ltd MerseyMail Mersey Mail shut down shutdown closed hack hacking user accounts email broken vulnerability

OH DEAR! Message to all Mersey Mail users: Connect Internet (MerseyMail) now lie to users and call me a HACKER! As ever, these inept companies LIE and BLAME others to cover up their own ACTIONS! View full TRUE information HERE There is also a Liverpool community forum here: YO! LIVERPOOL! Connect Internet issued the following [...]

Husband new car scrappage scheme scrap scrapping divorce cars for cash subsidy divorceonline divorce-online Keenan

Husbands to be scrapped for cash. Fiesty female motorists are being urged to “scrap their husbands for cash” in a new twist to the Chancellor’s car scrappage scheme. Instead of trading in a 10-year old banger in return for £1,000 of Government subsidy, female new car leasing entrepreneur Ling Valentine is teaming up with Divorce [...]

Mersey Mail MerseyMail owned by Connect Internet Solutions exposes thousands of Scousers emails to scammers hackers attack, holes and vunerability

MerseyMail are tonight exposing thousands of their Liverpool-based clients to scammers by leaving their customers email accounts open to being hacked. Any intruder who gets a email reply from a MerseyMail customer can immediately access all the mail and information in the private account. This applies to businesses and private individuals who use Mersey Mail. [...]

Mark Stoddart Jamie Hurst Jonny Scott Ling’s IT LINGsCARS web University programmer developer designer experts in Sunderland Echo by Alison Goulding Twitter Internet Nerds

World Wide Wackiness Don’t be fooled by the fun: Ling Valentine and her team mean business. And with a 2008 turnover of £35 million on track to jump to £40 million this year, there’s method in their madness. LINGsCARS.com began life in 2001 as a traditional car contract hire business. But Ling, who comes from [...]

Computer Shopper UK, Zygote, Felix Dennis, Mel Croucher writes about Ling of LINGsCARS car leasing

MY DING-A-LING When I go shopping, I interact with other shoppers and sales personnel. So why am I treated as if I’m in solitary confinement when I shop online? The leading evangelist of treating website customers with intelligence and collaboration is Ling Valentine, who turned down a Dragon’s Den investment and went on to become [...]

New car sales registration figures statistics UK May 2009 SMMT vehicle motor industry drop by make manufacturer dealer stats

Car sales in the UK are down again, by a massive amount. This is in total contrast to my own new car sales, which are up again. The SMMT (Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders) are once again trying to make this UK market seem like good news by suggesting that because the percentage new [...]

Car Scrappage Scheme – motor industry incentive to new car buyers to scrap older cars is mad SMMT Paul Everitt George Monbiot Buy buy bonus bye bye bonus

The Bye-Buy Bonus or Car Scrappage scheme being called for by the SMMT and most of the UK car industry is “barking mad”, claims Ling Valentine, a female Chinese immigrant who runs the UK’s favourite car leasing website, LINGsCARS.com. The UK car industry, let by the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) and the [...]

UK car sales February 2009 motor industry total registrations figures statistics SMMT manufacturers dealers

WOW! In Feb 2009, LINGsCARS delivered more new cars than ONE THIRD of the car companies in the UK motor industry did, according to the Society for Motor Manufacturers and Traders! This shows the truly terrible state of car dealer sales in the UK. Morale in the manufacturers and franchised dealership groups is at an [...]

Old Bill gets small bill for Mazda!

“Brilliant communication and excellent customer service. Very nice to deal with (nice????? hehehe – Ling) and I will most definitely use Ling again when my lease is due for renewal. I love the MX-5! Excellent delivery. Thank you for supplying such a great service.” “Bas J” (name and address withheld because “Bas” is a senior [...]

Ling was very patient with me…

“Ling was very patient with me; I wished I had listened to Ling earlier as her deals are really good and more importantly – exactly as described! I got the car I wanted at a great price and will recommend Ling to friends and business contacts. Ling does CARE about what happens – what more [...]

Multiple Things.

“Dear Ling, I would like to thank you for multiple things. The first is the car delivery (the FASTEST car order I have ever received). The second thing is the communication from yourself, always clear and correct, with a smile . The third thing is your website, easy navigation and fun. You are doing great [...]

I supply Private Military Contractor in Iraq!

“Ling, the Mazda RX-8′s here – just going for a drive. Catch ya later!!!!” … (later)… Ling, the car’s excellent, had a good drive and it’s just what I expected and wanted. I can’t thank you enough, I thought that getting a car would be a nightmare. On the contrary, It really has been a [...]

Pain-Free. Are you renting an Aspirin?

“I found my experience with Ling pain-free and very easy. It was so simple to complete all the neccessary paperwork. Also, a big thank you for rearranging my delivery date to enable me to get a brand-new registered car at the beginning of March. Excellent delivery.” Paula Mitchell 8 Dee Park Close Gayton Wirral CH60 [...]

Citroen internal memo – French on strike – again!

“Although at times it seemed that I was never going to get my Citroen C2 (probably my own impatience), all in all a VERY good service. Would recommend Ling all day long, especially her prices – it’s much cheaper than buying. On delivery day, my new car was waiting for me when I got to [...]

Another short letter!

“Great service and made me laugh. What more could you ask for?” Colin Davies Address Withheld Twickenham TW2 *** Editor Note: A longer bloody letter, Colin??? Hehehe. – Ling

5 x Astras – Green with Pink Spots!

“Ling manages the impossible! Our brand-new cars were provided within 10 days as opposed to 2-months with our old supplier! When I asked Ling to confirm the colour of our five new Astras she said, “Green with pink spots!” We will deal with her as long as she will have us! Susan Renny Auto Expo [...]

“I thought you were a little mad…”

“Hi Ling, Just to thank you again for an all-round great service. When I originally saw your website, I thought you were a little mad… but I have got to say you are one of the most honest people I have ever dealt with. I cannot fault the delivery of my new Mazda MX-5 at [...]

Mental Customer Sends Poem – Ling Retalliates!

A young lady from Gateshead called Ling, Does a really peculiar thing, Contract Hire cheap and simple, With cute smile and dimple, So get a great car from Ling – “WITH NO STRINGS!” “Ling is amazing!!! Great service, great communication, she made the whole contract hire process really simple. I’ve recommended her to half a [...]

Customer’s 3rd Car in a Row!

“This is the 3rd car we have taken from Ling in the last 18 months. It’s good to know you are dealing with the owner of the business and you are kept up to date from placing the order to delivery of the car. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Ling (and I have done)!” Iain [...]

Local Customer – Excellent Service!

“Excellent service from start to finish, you simply WILL NOT get this service if you deal with any other contract hire company. Great service, excellent delivery, car arrived on time.” Keith Andreton 212 Wills Mews Newcastle Upon Tyne NE7 7RZ Editor Note: Ho, ho, ho, another local customer! Hello Keith! I have never met you [...]

Hyundai to Liverpool

“Despite trying to poison me with some strange Chinese sweets, Ling has provided a first-class service. All the info I needed was on her website and forms were sent by email, speeding up the whole process. An excellent, fast, efficient and completely mad experience. I loved it.” Ian Ward 12A Deyes Court 93 Eastway Maghull [...]

A Brace of Skodas to Cheltenham

“The car deals are excellent and I got a good bargain from Ling with my 2 Skoda Fabias. She may seem a bit crazy but clearly isn’t. I would rather deal with her than boring dealers who are complacent and think that customers grow on trees and that they will always be there no matter [...]

Shortest Customer Letter Competition…

“Ling, many thanks. A pleasure to deal with. Excellent delivery. Very good!” Julie Key 4 Etna Street Bradford BD7 4RD Editor Note: Hehehe, Julie! I know why your letter is so short… you are out in this sunshine enjoying the new SAAB 9-3 convertible! A very fast turnaround for your new pose-mobile! – Ling

Zafira was a Little Dusty!

“This is the first car I have bought for myself in years, after driving a company vehicle… and your unique website and natural approach has made it a pleasurable and easy experience throughout. I would recommend Ling’s website to anyone looking to buy a new car. My Zafira was a little dusty but arrived early [...]

Ling is Very Professional…

“Very professional and straight down the line simple service with the minimum of fuss and red tape. This is the only way to finance a new car. Many thanks” Paul Cuddy Kosco Interiors 5006 Knutsford Road Latchford Warrington WA4 1PL Editor Note: Paul, I am glad you have your cheap Astra at last. These Astras [...]

“breath of fresh air”

“It was a “breath of fresh air” using Ling to hire the RX-8. Other companies came up with long delivery dates, but Ling was the quickest and she delivered all her promises. The car was delivered on time by a friendly man. Excellent. My wife and I are really pleased, the customer experience was exceptional, [...]

Very professional and pain-free experience

“Very professional and pain-free experience (renting my new Zafira). Car arrived on time, very courteous driver, excellent. Ling deserves to do well. Good luck for the future.” Keith Nightingale Abbey Furnishing 38 Delph Brook Way Bolton BL7 9UB Editor Note: Yep, this was pain-free alright, mainly due to your quick responses and paperwork efficiency. 3-weeks [...]

“It couldn’t have been easier”

“This is my first personal contract hire car and it couldn’t have been any easier, Ling was always there to help with any questions I had. It was first-class service all the way. It’s a shame most other companies are not as good as LINGsCARS, I can’t praise her enough. Terrible service from the Mazda [...]

My C2 Code is Fab

“This is the second car I’ve organised through Ling and again it’s been a pleasure. No stress, friendly communication. The transaction was as easy as buying a loaf of bread!! I would always speak to Ling before pricing elsewhere. My C2 Code is fab.” Elaine Hepple 1 Martin Court Washington NE38 0EP Editor Note: Elaine, [...]

Very good service from Ling – no bullshit, no crap – just service!!!

“Very good service from Ling – no bullshit, no crap – just service!!! Much better than (say) Appleyards, HSBC etc. Thanks for gift of key rings, you should call them “Key Lings” hahahaha!! Normal service from Mercedes Benz on delivery, good.” Pete Graham Robert Burn Partnership (Chartered Surveyors) The Old Stables Greys Yard Morpeth NE61 [...]

Hey, Ling!

“Hey, Ling! All correspondence was dealt with very promptly and effectively. I was very pleased overall with your service. I have friends already looking to do some business with you. Also, I have just started a company, and hope to take advantage of reclaiming half the VAT in the future!” Seamus Fleming 43 Foster Drive [...]

“Excellent delivery of my brand new BMW 3-series”

“Ling offers a clear service from first to last. Every aspect of her service was first class – no hiccups whatsoever. Excellent delivery of my brand new BMW 3-series. I will definitely use Ling again and have recommended her to friends. ” Brad Hoskins 5 Roche Crescent Fairwater Cardiff CF5 3PY Editor Note: Yes, Brad, [...]

Efficient Mazda Customer

“After I had chosen my car, I spent no more than 10 minutes of my own time arranging it. This is a great, fast and efficient service – I think the whole process took just 2 faxes, 2 emails and 2 telephone calls and one letter by post before my new MX 5 arrived on [...]

My Xsara Picasso arrived reliably and on time

“Ling is a pleasure to do business with! Fast, efficient and a great communicator. She puts the “fun” back into business. My Xsara Picasso arrived reliably and on time, an excellent delivery. Great service.” Leslie Dearden Cornerways 1 Hoarstones Ave Fence Burnley BB12 9DZ Editor Note: Leslie, this is the second car I am renting [...]

4th Car for Customer

“My new VW Golf is fine, service including delivery was good. A set of floor mats would be a nice touch. That little bit extra sets you apart.” Angela Teesside Electrical Supplies Ltd Unit 4, Crofton Court Crofton Road Stockton on Tees TS18 2QZ Editor Note: Angela, this is the fourth car I have supplied [...]

SAAB to York

“LINGsCARS.com offers the kind of service we would all like to find, but seldom do. Very good communication, Ling was able to provide the exact model, colour and spec within a very short timescale. I would not hesitate to use your company again and I will recommend to people I know. The delivery of my [...]

Mazda 6 is “Great”!

“A pleasure to deal with you, Ling. The Mazda 6 is great! You always kept me fully informed on the progress of my car delivery and responded to my emails quickly and efficiently. That’s important to me. You also turned down the “Dragons’ Den” offer. Good girl!” Nick Johns 11 Ilchester Road Bristol BS13 7JA [...]

C2 and Full Leather!

“Ling! Many thanks for organising the Citroen C2. It turned up at 8am (as promised) from the other end of the country, delivered by a very helpful man. He took me through all aspects and operations of the car. It is black with full tan leather. Looks really smart and everyone thinks £145 per month [...]

Jaguar + Big Argument!

“Other leasing companies said she wouldn’t be able to honour her prices! WRONG!!! Ling delivered the colour and trim of the Jaguar X-Type I wanted on time, as well. Who could ask for more? I recommend keeping customers updated with progress reports. Thanks, Ling.” Ian Jones Ronian Ltd The Vicarage Straffen Court Amble NE85 0HA [...]

3-Series is Customer’s 3rd Car from me.

“I have recently received delivery of my new BMW 318, this is the third car I have leased through Ling and each has gone very smoohly thanks to Ling’s “customer care”. I will soon be organising another car and look forward to dealing with Ling again.” Trevor Gray 33 Wheatfield Close Overingham Northumberland NE42 6BB [...]

Family has “Big Grin” on their Faces

“Dear Ling, YES! I have got the SAAB Convertible. Everything went smoothly collecting the car from the dealers. I apologise for not having written to you sooner but I was away on business all last week and since then the weather has been amazing so we’ve been out visiting and enjoying the roof being down!!! [...]

Nissan Note to Highlands

“Process of ordering and delivery of the Nissan Note to the Highlands of Scotland was very good.” Irene McCulloch Development Partners Alton House 4 Ballifeary Rd Inverness IV3 5PJ Editor Note: Inverness is a lovely place, I have friends there! Several cars from me are already running around Inverness and Loch Ness. Thanks for your [...]

SAAB Convertible for Summer

“After contacting so many so-called “TOP” contract hire companies, who promised everything and delivered nothing, I came across LINGsCARS.com. Ling was efficient and competitive and a pleasure to deal with. The SAAB 9-3 Convertible is a cracking car. Thanks for a great contract hire experience. Excellent delivery hand-over, the car was delivered on time. You [...]

Service “First Class”

“Excellent marketing and fun website with very competitive prices. Ling, I think you are suffering on the customer service side because of your success. Time to take on extra help, perhaps? Overall, I am very pleased with my car. Service was first class but communication re delivery date was poor.” George Kitchen 508a Bickershaw Lane [...]

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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MINI BLOG
 
Posted: 04/03/10
Comments ( 3 )
NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015 Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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Posted: 08/07/10
Comments ( 4 )
MY SISTER'S (CHINESE) SKODA! Although I only lease cars in the UK, my sister Shan asked me to help her buy a brand-new car in China!
She looked at quite a... READ MORE
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Posted: 02/07/10
Comments ( 0 )
HIDING VAT Can you believe prices you see on the web? I've gotta say, how annoyed it makes me that so many websites break the law, also known... READ MORE
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Posted: 15/12/10
Comments ( 1 )
WHY HYDROGEN NO GOOD 4 CARS I have a BSc in Applied Chemistry and an MSc in Environmental Management, so have some qualification to comment on this issue. Sor... READ MORE
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Posted: 18/07/10
Comments ( 0 )
THE 3 DEGREES - MY IT CROWD Just to say that Mark, Jamie and Jonny have graduated. Fantastic!
All have got FIRSTS in Computer something or other from Sun... READ MORE
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Posted: 02/08/10
Comments ( 0 )
CHEAPER THAN PENDRAGON I've just delivered a new car to a senior manager (for his personal use) in PENDRAGON PLC, the UK's largest dealer group. The grou... READ MORE
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Hello, hello! This is me!
Don't run, little customers! I'm friendly...
I am the Viz UK business ambassador!
Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly!
...so, you know who I am
- Ling


THE UK's FAVOURITE
CAR LEASING WEBSITE!

The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
The UK's FAVOURITE car leasing website
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD
LING World Headquarters
Vance Business Park
Gateshead, NE11 9NE
Tel 0191 460 9444
Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com
I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30
Co Reg No: 6178634
Consumer Credit Licence: 624022
Data Protection No: Z1098490
Best Before: 17/08/2007
LING World HQ
People's Republic of Gateshead!

 
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Israel's main trade union federation launches national strike intended to shut down government offices, lah, banks, lah, airports, lah, ports and rail services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:09



Wah! LATEST:  Canada ordered its intelligence agency to using inflomination that may having been extracted through torture if public safety is at risk, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Aircraft maker Airbus has been ordered to check wings of all A380 superjumbo planes currently in service. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:00



Wah! Harry Redknapp arrives at court with jury set to enter its second day of deliberations at male gender human bleing's trial. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 09:43



Wah! old bill bobbys and coastguards try to trace owners of LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine found abandoned in waters off coast of Dumfries and Galloway. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:43



Wah! Talks to end old bill bobbys strike in Brazilian state of Bahia break down, lah, as troops blockade state assembly occupied by striking officers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:41



Wah! A Liberal Democrat AM accuses Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs government of negligence over handling of race relations body at centre of claim (always claiming, huh?) of wrongdoing. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 09:37



Wah! Heard one about emir and Qatari stand-up comedian? - news replorted 09:23



Wah! Greek PM Lucas Papademos is set to meet coalition parties in attempt to seal austerity deal to secure new EU/IMF bailout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:15



Wah! German's trade surplus rises to 158bn euros in 2011 on record exports of 1.06tn euros, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 08:50



Wah! Coroners rule Don Cornelius's death was suicide, lah, nearly week after Soul Train creator was found with gun shot to male gender human bleing's head. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:43



Wah! Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land chief executive, lah, Stephen Hester, lah, says bloody man briefly considered resigning during uproar over male gender human bleing's bonus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:39



Wah! Three paintings from Elizabeth Taylor's personal art collection sold for almost RMB Yuan #14 million at auction in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 08:31



Wah! Syrian opposition groups say more than 40 human bliengs having been killed as bombardment of city of Homs continues. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:29



Wah! Vauxhall is to unveil brace of stunning new models and groundbreaking concept LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine at this years Geneva Show, lah, which opens to press on monthly number-three 6. - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Scientists in Great Satan having successfully made human brain cells in lab that exact replica of genetically caused Parkinson's disease. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:57



Wah! Pakistani PM Yousuf Raza Gilani files appeal against appearing before Supreme Court on contempt charges on 13 February. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:54



Wah! A new squad of 1,000 officers dedicated to tackling gang-related crime (shoud shoot them) in London (capital of Great England) is being launched by Metropolitan Police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:46



Wah! A old bill bobbys woman's lost mobile phone containing hundreds of photographs and operational details falls into hands of dissident republicans. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:27



Wah! Employers added permanent jobs for first clock time result in four months in January, lah, says Recruitment and Employment Confederation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 07:24



Wah! A 70-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man was struck dead by stolen LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine minutes after officers stopped chasing it, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 07:18



Wah! An assembly member is to lead Senedd debate later in bid to introduce compulsory microchipping for dogs in Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:04



Wah! Papers ponder health bill as it returns to Lords - news replorted 06:58



Wah! A council leader faces vote of no confidence after allegedly disparaging written-down messages on dead tree about staff and hospital protesters were posted on YouTube. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:57



Wah! A rock fall that released methane gas may having triggered deadly Pike River mine blast in New Zealand, lah, experts report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:03



Wah! An SDLP delegation is to meet the bloody annoying Blitish dodgy minister for welfare reform in London (capital of Great England) later to discuss concerns about benefit changes for Northern Ireland. I read you little red book! - news replorted 05:57



Wah! A Great Satan court has ruled that ban on same-sex marriages in California is unconstitutional. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 05:49



Wah! Are eating challenges becoming more popular in Province of Engrish running-dogs? - news replorted 05:42



Wah! Syria's opposition dismisses assurances that President Assad is committed to ending violence sweeping country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:27



Wah! A bloody annoying Blitish ticket-holder has won more than RMB Yuan #45m in Euromillions lottery, lah, operator Camelot reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:00



Wah! Time-lapse footage reveals how mushroom corals inflate and deflate to free themselves from smothering sand. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:38



Wah! A study of hormones in whale faeces shows that right whales stressed by propeller noise from shipping. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 03:28



Wah! A missile attack by unmanned Great Satan drone aircraft in north-west Pakistan kills eight people, lah, Pakistani security officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:25



Wah! Crucial assembly elections begin in India's most populous state of Uttar Pradesh. - news replorted 03:12



Wah! The Department for Work and Pensions admits to large backlog of new sickness benefit claims, lah, as tens of thousands await decision beyond 13-week assessment period. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:55



Wah! The government is set for difficult clock time result when House of Lords debates concessions to its plans to overhaul NHs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:46



Wah! South African old bill bobbys having charged man with fraud after bloody man claimed to be famous Zulu musician who had come back from dead. I read you little red book! - news replorted 02:36



Wah! MPs say spending cuts raise concerns over UK's ability to launch another mission on same scale as operation in Libya. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! Finance Secretary John Swinney looks set to offer last minute changes to male gender human bleing's budget in effort to secure opposition support. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 02:02



Wah! British actor Mackenzie Crook, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, best known for playing Gareth in Office, lah, is shortlisted for this year's Waterstones Children's Book Prize. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:51



Wah! Jamaica throws about 2,000 illegal firearms into furnace as part of programme to reduce gun trafficking and violent crime (shoud shoot them) on island. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:46



Wah! Harry Potter star is spooked in new film Woman in Black - news replorted 01:38



Wah! Harry Potter star is spooked in Woman in Black - news replorted 01:37



Wah! The rise and fall of lap dancing club - news replorted 01:23



Wah! Profits for Walt Disney having risen I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to rising popularity of its theme parks and earnings from its television channels. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Older human bliengs needing social care let down by fragmented services - and Health and Social Care Bill will not simplify system - says group of MPs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:06



Wah! Mitt Romney battles rising Rick Santorum as voters in Great Satan three states pick Republican presidential nominee. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:59



Wah! The primate who solves memory test faster than blink - news replorted 00:46



Wah! How drones and satellites catching farming cheats - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Thousands of staff at O2 in Slough working remotely on Wednesday in experiment to see if any Olympic Games disruption would affect businesses. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:33



Wah! Katie Price has told Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman bloody woman thinks breast implants should having age limit of 21, lah, following health scare over implants manufactured by French firm PIp. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Two more men arrested by old bill bobbys investigating murder of man in Lurgan at weekend. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:08



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...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
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