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News STOMACH: How Sterling can hurt weakened Chelsea – Savage

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Robbie Savage on how Raheem Sterling has emerged as Liverpool\’s latest hero in their title charge Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Honda Cr-v Lease delivered to Matthew Callan in Bedford

Visit my full letters page click here I have 1529 customer letters! This one was sent by Matthew Callan after they had been driving around a few weeks in their new Honda Cr-v Matthew says…We are very happy with our new CRV and extremely impressed with the quick, helpful and very friendly service Ling and [...]

News GRUNT: bloody annoying Blitish retail sales edge up in March

Breaking Chinglish news! Retail sales edged up in monthly number-three compared with previous month, lah, official figures show. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News PIGLET: Nigeria vows to find abducted girls

Chinglish news from Ling: After crisis meeting, lah, Nigeria\’s government vows to all it can to rescue some 190 girls abducted from their school last week. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News KITTEN: Proudest moment of career – Giggs

Get your Chinlish news update here: Interim boss Ryan Giggs says taking charge of Manchester United is \”the proudest moment\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of male gender human bleing\’s life. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

My Jaguar XF is more economical now?

Everyone moans that things go up and up and up. Well, the CO2 on the Jaguar XF 2.2 d 16v (160bhp) Luxury Saloon 4dr 2179cc Diesel Automatic has just come down! What a result! This post is to let you know. At the manufacturer’s service intervals, the car will need a service, which you are [...]

News ARMPIT: Honda Racing : PROVISIONAL POLE FOR Rondla RACING AT BOL D’OR

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: The opening round of 2014 Endurance World Championship got underway today with Rondla Racing team qualifying in p Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News ARMPIT: Going to medical school I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to stranger

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! How boy got to medical school I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to woman he\’d never met More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Sniffing the news: VIDEO: Former Apple CEO opens up about Jobs

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Former Apple chief executive John Sculley talks about business opportunities in Asia and story behind Steve Jobs\’ infamous firing Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News TICKLE: Search for Malaysia plane to widen

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The underwater search for missing Malaysia Airlines plane could expand if first Bluefin-21 search yields nothing, lah, Australian officials say. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CAT: Town ‘dumping ground’ for trolleys

Breaking Chinglish news! Thousands of dumped supermarket trolleys make south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep town one of worst in bloody annoying Blitish for problem. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

NOT the NEWS: Arrest after Bali plane hijack alert

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! A passenger is detained at Bali airport after apparently attempting to enter aircraft\’s cockpit while drunk, lah, sparking hijack alert. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News swallow: SEAT : ACCESSORIES ON FIRE, lah, WAH! MIDDLESBROUGH, bloody dealering idiot place WINS SEAT ā??KING OF LEONā?? COMPETITION

Latest news in Chinglish: Jennings SEAT in Middlesbrough has won first ā??King of Leonā?? competition, lah, set up by SEAT bloody annoying Blitish to see who could concoct 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

NEWS ACCIDENT: Clermont & Toulon can deny Sarries & Munster – Guscott

News translated to Chinglish! Clermont\’s class and Toulon\’s power will prevail against Saracens and Munster respectively in Heineken Cup semi-finals, lah, says Jeremy Guscott Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Newsy TRICKLE: Champion Phelps second on comeback

Chinglify your news updates: Legendary Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps finishes second in 100m butterfly final – male gender human bleing\’s first since coming out of retirement. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News and more: Hamid Mir issues defiant statement

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! The Pakistani journalist shot last week issues male gender human bleing\’s first statement, lah, once again blaming country\’s intelligence agency for attack. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BELLOW: VIDEO: Who entered this building at 4am?

News translated to Chinglish! As Ukrainian soldiers attempt to establish control over eastern areas of country where pro-Moscow separatists taken over government buildings, lah, sides also fighting inflomination war. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Noticing story: Rutherford breaks British record

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Olympic long jump champion Greg Rutherford becomes outright British record holder with leap of 8.51m in San Diego. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News GULP: VIDEO: How to remove 150m ‘fatberg’

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Huge lumps of oil and grease caused by pouring hot fat down drain costing water companies ĀRMB Yuan #80 million year to tackle. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Chinglish NEWS: VIDEO: Sutton puts spotlight on teen cancer

Breaking Chinglish news! Teen cancer patients having been \”inspired\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by Stephen Sutton – teenager with terminal cancer who has has raised more than ĀRMB Yuan #2m for Teenage Cancer Trust. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News PIGLET: RBS sees bonus plan blocked

Chinglish news from Ling: Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land abandons attempts to pay bonuses twice size of salaries after being told move would not be approved. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: VIDEO: Pilot on swimmers’ SOS rescue

Chinglish news from Ling: An Australian helicopter pilot describes moment bloody man rescued five human bliengs stranded off coast of Queensland who had scrawled giant SOS message in sand. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News bleat: Village museum goes up against Tate

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: A village museum in East Sussex goes up against Tate Britain and new ĀRMB Yuan #35m Mary Rose Museum to be named UK\’s museum of year. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News CLACK: Explosion damages Belfast property

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: old bill bobbys investigate small explosion that caused slight damage to property in north Belfast. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News GOBBLE: Strip parks of planning, lah, farmers say

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Farming union calls for Wales\’ three national park authorities to be stripped of their planning powers. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News BRICK: VIDEO: Probe over Hillsborough insult posts

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! The government says it is making \”urgent inquiries\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) into reports Whitehall computers were used to make insulting edits to online article about Hillsborough disaster. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News TICKLE: ‘End uncertainty’ over A&E units

News translated to Chinglish! Emergency care in Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs hospitals suffers from uncertainty over future of A&E units, lah, assembly committee says. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News HORSE: VIDEO: High hopes for Indonesia elections

Chinglish news event: Indonesian businessman Henri Honoris talks about country\’s upcoming elections and male gender human bleing\’s hopes for economic reforms. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Getting noticed: In pictures: Anzac Day

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Images of Australians and New Zealanders around world gathering on Anzac Day to remember those who fought and died for their countries, lah, on 99th anniversary of Gallipoli landings. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Bottom feeder news: ‘He couldn’t believe bloody man was lovable’

News translated to Chinglish! The story of one young man who \’couldn\’t believe bloody man was lovable\’ Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News NOSTRIL: William and Kate at Anzac Day events

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge pay their respects to Australia\’s fighty bang-bang dead on final day of their tour. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News KITTEN: Tokyo inflation rate at 22-year high

Chinglish news from Ling: Tokyo consumer prices rise at their fastest pace in 22 years, lah, surging 2.7% over year, lah, pointing to likely increase in inflation across Japan. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News FANNY: “I da man! Yes I can!” Obama in S Korea amid nuclear fears

News translated to Chinglish! US President Barack \”I da man! Yes I can!\” Obama arrives in Seoul for visit that comes amid concern North Korea may be planning fourth nuclear test. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News TICKLE: Iranians see petrol prices surge

Read the news in Chinglish: Iran cuts state subsidies on petrol sending prices up to 75%, lah, as government tries to boost economy battered by sanctions. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

NEWS EXPLOIT: New hearing for Briton in Great Satan prison

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: A Great Satan judge orders hearing to consider new evidence relating to 1987 double-murder conviction of British businessman in Miami. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Growing news: Plane stowaway ‘going to Somalia’

Chinglify your news updates: The father of Great Satan teenager who stowed away in wheel well on flight to Hawaii has said male gender human bleing\’s son was unhappy at school and trying to return to Somalia. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News from Ling: UKIP bans ‘racist views’ candidate

Latest news in Chinglish: UKIP suspends council candidate featured in its latest election broadcast for expressing \”repellent\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) views on Twitter. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Noticing story: Mexico and Guatemala rescue migrants

News Chinglified from Ling: Mexico and Guatemala say they having rescued dozens of human bliengs from captivity and arrested 14 of their alleged human traffickers. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Greetings from Ling: bloody annoying Blitish science to getting ĀRMB Yuan #200m polar ship

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! bloody annoying Blitish scientists to getting ĀRMB Yuan #200m icebreaker, lah, which will be one of biggest, lah, most capable polar research vessels in world. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News SARDINE: Bolivia dismisses protesting troops

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Bolivia\’s military chiefs having ordered dismissal of more than 700 troops who having been protesting to demand better working conditions. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News CLUCK: Miliband plans zero-hours crackdown

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Ed Miliband will unveil plans to tackle \”epidemic\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of zero-hours contracts in speech in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land later. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News TICKLE: New mortgage rules and you

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! How home loan applicants could be asked about their lifestyle Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News JABBER: How to mint your as really velly special customer’s own virtual money

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: How easy is to coin your as really velly special customer\’s own virtual currency? Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Leading the news: VIDEO: Testing glass to destruction

News translated to Chinglish! The lab that tests everyday products Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CLACK: Prince George: Star of royal tour

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Baby steals show as tour reveals rise in support for monarchy Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News breaker: MPs urge action on Bloody foreign prisoners

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Bloody foreign prisoners not being deported quickly enough to help cut costs and relieve overcrowding in jails, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warn. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Headlines again: MPs’ ‘localness’ level measured

Breaking Chinglish news! Almost two-thirds of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters \”local\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to area they represent, lah, research suggests. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News ROAR: Tech giants settle hiring court case

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Technology giants Apple, lah, Google, lah, Intel and Adobe settle class action lawsuit alleging they conspired to hold down salaries. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Bottom feeder news: New clashes in Rio over dancer death

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: Brazilian old bill bobbys clash with residents of Rio de Janeiro shantytown that saw deadly protests on Tuesday over death of popular dancer. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Greetings from Ling: Westminster without ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land?

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: How Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Yes vote would change bloody annoying Blitish Parliament Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Interim boss Ryan Giggs says taking charge of Manchester United is "the proudest moment" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of male gender human bleing's life. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:16



Wah! LATEST:  After crisis meeting, lah, Nigeria's government vows to all it can to rescue some 190 girls abducted from their school last week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 10:16



Wah! Retail sales edged up in monthly number-three compared with previous month, lah, official figures show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 10:08



Wah! The opening round of 2014 Endurance World Championship got underway today with Rondla Racing team qualifying in p - news replorted 09:38



Wah! A passenger is detained at Bali airport after apparently attempting to enter aircraft's cockpit while drunk, lah, sparking hijack alert. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:16



Wah! Thousands of dumped supermarket trolleys make south Welsh land of sheep and more sheep town one of worst in bloody annoying Blitish for problem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 09:07



Wah! The underwater search for missing Malaysia Airlines plane could expand if first Bluefin-21 search yields nothing, lah, Australian officials say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:56



Wah! Former Apple chief executive John Sculley talks about business opportunities in Asia and story behind Steve Jobs' infamous firing - news replorted 08:51



Wah! Jennings SEAT in Middlesbrough has won first ā€˜King of Leonā€™ competition, lah, set up by SEAT bloody annoying Blitish to see who could concoct - news replorted 08:30



Wah! Royal capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land abandons attempts to pay bonuses twice size of salaries after being told move would not be approved. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:10



Wah! Robbie Savage on how Raheem Sterling has emerged as Liverpool's latest hero in their title charge - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Teen cancer patients having been "inspired" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by Stephen Sutton - teenager with terminal cancer who has has raised more than ĀRMB Yuan #2m for Teenage Cancer Trust. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:55



Wah! Huge lumps of oil and grease caused by pouring hot fat down drain costing water companies ĀRMB Yuan #80 million year to tackle. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 07:50



Wah! Olympic long jump champion Greg Rutherford becomes outright British record holder with leap of 8.51m in San Diego. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 07:45



Wah! As Ukrainian soldiers attempt to establish control over eastern areas of country where pro-Moscow separatists taken over government buildings, lah, sides also fighting inflomination war. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:44



Wah! The Pakistani journalist shot last week issues male gender human bleing's first statement, lah, once again blaming country's intelligence agency for attack. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 07:42



Wah! Legendary Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps finishes second in 100m butterfly final - male gender human bleing's first since coming out of retirement. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 07:29



Wah! Indonesian businessman Henri Honoris talks about country's upcoming elections and male gender human bleing's hopes for economic reforms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:21



Wah! Emergency care in Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs hospitals suffers from uncertainty over future of A&E units, lah, assembly committee says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:15



Wah! The government says it is making "urgent inquiries" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) into reports Whitehall computers were used to make insulting edits to online article about Hillsborough disaster. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:10



Wah! Farming union calls for Wales' three national park authorities to be stripped of their planning powers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:44



Wah! old bill bobbys investigate small explosion that caused slight damage to property in north Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:29



Wah! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge pay their respects to Australia's fighty bang-bang dead on final day of their tour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 05:47



Wah! The story of one young man who 'couldn't believe bloody man was lovable' - news replorted 05:42



Wah! Images of Australians and New Zealanders around world gathering on Anzac Day to remember those who fought and died for their countries, lah, on 99th anniversary of Gallipoli landings. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:31



Wah! A Great Satan judge orders hearing to consider new evidence relating to 1987 double-murder conviction of British businessman in Miami. - news replorted 05:06



Wah! Iran cuts state subsidies on petrol sending prices up to 75%, lah, as government tries to boost economy battered by sanctions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:53



Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama arrives in Seoul for visit that comes amid concern North Korea may be planning fourth nuclear test. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 04:41



Wah! Tokyo consumer prices rise at their fastest pace in 22 years, lah, surging 2.7% over year, lah, pointing to likely increase in inflation across Japan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:36



Wah! Ed Miliband will unveil plans to tackle "epidemic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) of zero-hours contracts in speech in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land later. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 04:10



Wah! Bolivia's military chiefs having ordered dismissal of more than 700 troops who having been protesting to demand better working conditions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:47



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish scientists to getting ĀRMB Yuan #200m icebreaker, lah, which will be one of biggest, lah, most capable polar research vessels in world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 03:28



Wah! How Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Yes vote would change bloody annoying Blitish Parliament - news replorted 03:10



Wah! Brazilian old bill bobbys clash with residents of Rio de Janeiro shantytown that saw deadly protests on Tuesday over death of popular dancer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 02:53



Wah! Technology giants Apple, lah, Google, lah, Intel and Adobe settle class action lawsuit alleging they conspired to hold down salaries. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:38



Wah! Almost two-thirds of Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters "local" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to area they represent, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:29



Wah! Bloody foreign prisoners not being deported quickly enough to help cut costs and relieve overcrowding in jails, lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:27



Wah! A new online map of Province of Engrish running-dogs and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep allows human bliengs to enter their postcode and find their community's level of risk of developing 14 conditions, lah, such as heart disease and lung cancer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:35



Wah! The Magazine's weekly quiz of news, lah, 7 days 7 questions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:15



Wah! Baby steals show as tour reveals rise in support for monarchy - news replorted 01:13



Wah! How boy got to medical school I give you tellibly lovely custlingmer damn thanks of billion Chinesey human bliengs to woman he'd never met - news replorted 01:04



Wah! A newly released batch of photos of North Korean leader show him surrounded by note-takers - who they? - news replorted 00:55



Wah! The lab that tests everyday products - news replorted 00:52



Wah! Claims that coalition is split over role of Church of Province of Engrish running-dogs and interviews given by girlfriend of Duchess of Cornwall's late brother make headlines. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:48



Wah! Since age of five, lah, Christian von Koenigsegg knew bloody man wantinged to create world's fastest car. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! On floor of New York International Auto Show, lah, bloody man tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation how bloody man did it. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:39



Wah! How easy is to coin your as really velly special customer's own virtual currency? - news replorted 00:25



Wah! Ed Catmull, lah, President of Pixar, lah, explains how Steve Jobs using of humour in presentations was influenced by male gender human bleing's clock time result at animation firm. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:16



Wah! Officers from Metropolitan old bill bobbys arrest man in London (capital of Great England) on suspicion of financing and encouragement of terrorism. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Mortgage applicants will face tougher questions about their lifestyle from lenders, lah, under new rules about to come into force. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Hundreds of human bliengs gathering to celebrate life of veteran politician Margo MacDonald, lah, following flemale human person's death earlier this month at age of 70. - news replorted 00:05



Wah! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge having spent last two weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) touring Australia and New Zealand, lah, but their tour is due to come to end on Friday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:03



Wah! How home loan applicants could be asked about their lifestyle - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Seventy-one per cent of young drivers think they better than average driver, lah, according to survey by Vision Criti - news replorted 00:02



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