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News SARDINE: Charge over Commons marble throwing

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! A man who was escorted from House of Commons after allegedly throwing bag of marbles during Prime dodgy minister\’s Questions is to appear in court. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News ABUSE: Your pictures: Steps

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Readers\’ photos on theme of \”steps\” Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News JABBER: Chile marches against education bill

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Tens of thousands of parents in Chile monthly number-three against government\’s planned education bill which would phase out subsidised schools. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News stoly: Japan court backs pregnant woman

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Japan\’s Supreme Court backs woman who unsuccessfully sued flemale human person\’s employer following demotion due to flemale human person\’s pregnancy. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Bottom feeder news: 228 firefighter jobs under threat

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: More than 220 firefighters\’ jobs could be lost in north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep if funding is not increased over next five years, lah, bosses warn. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News storly: AUDIO: ‘Drunk’ rape victim: ‘I felt I wouldn’t be believed’

News translated to Chinglish! Ched Evans\’ rape conviction has highlighted struggles that meet rape victims who attacked when they having been drinking. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

NEWS from China: New John Cantlie video posted online

Here\’s some Chinglish news: British journalist John Cantlie, lah, who is being held captive by Islamic State militants, lah, is shown reading message in new propaganda video published online. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News NIPPLE: Province of Engrish running-dogs’s Burrell faces hand X-ray

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Northampton\’s Province of Engrish running-dogs centre Luther Burrell is likely to be sent for X-ray after injuring male gender human bleing\’s right hand on Saturday. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CLACK: IT issues cause Heathrow disruption

News translated to Chinglish! There is disruption at Heathrow Airport after \”issues\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with IT system, lah, British Airways confirms. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: Zuckerberg’s Super-Duper-Chinese-State gets mixed reviews

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Mark Zuckerberg has conducted chat to Super-Duper-Chinese-State students in Mandarin, lah, leading to mixed reviews about male gender human bleing\’s accent and pronunciation. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News hoover: Dog shot in skull with crossbow bolt

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: A dog is shot through skull with bolt from crossbow which \”narrowly\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) missed male gender human bleing\’s brain and eyes. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Not about cars: Later sunsets ‘make kids more active’

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Moving clocks forward by one extra hour all year could lead to children getting two more minutes of exercise every day, lah, say bloody annoying Blitish researchers. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News PIGLET: Meet non-league Messi at Macc

Chinglish news event: David Gonzalez played alongside David De Gea and Bojan Krkic – but is now ready for FA Cup action at Macclesfield. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News STOMACH: Predictions: Lawro v Mark Wright

News Chinglified from Ling: Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport\’s silly kick-kick game expert Mark Lawrenson takes on Towie star Mark Wright and male gender human bleing\’s Strictly Come Dancing partner Karen Hauer. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: bloody annoying Blitish gives extra ÂRMB Yuan #80m for Ebola fight

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Prime dodgy minister David Cameron pledges extra ÂRMB Yuan #80m of aid for fight against Ebola outbreak in West Africa. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: VIDEO: ‘Religion made me as Super-Duper-Chinese-State superLING hero better player’

Latest news in Chinglish: Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s newest damn crazy Engrish baseball game star Moeen Ali speaks to Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation about male gender human bleing\’s sport and male gender human bleing\’s religion. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

What is new(S): Giant poppy made by 1,400 GCHQ staff

Read the news in Chinglish: More than 1,400 intelligence agency staff create giant poppy in centre of GCHQ \”doughnut\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) building in Cheltenham. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News QUACK: Younus sets Pakistan century record

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Younus Khan becomes Pakistan\’s highest Test century maker as they set Australia 438 to win first Test in Dubai. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News TICKLE: Antelopes win best wildlife photo

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: A picture of stampeding antelopes captured on plains of South Africaâ??s Kariega Game Reserve wins overall best European Wildlife photograph. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Greetings from Ling: Leeds part capitalist entity with boss Milanic

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Championship side Leeds United part capitalist entity with head coach Darko Milanic after just 32 days in charge. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News STOMACH: Northampton 34-6 Ospreys

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Four tries from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep wing George North see Northampton end Ospreys\’ unbeaten start to season with big Champions Cup win. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BAWL: VIDEO: Scientists create real hoverboard

News translated to Chinglish! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Click looks at some of week\’s technology highlights. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: Ukraine: Land of chaos and courage

Read the news in Chinglish: A journey across Ukraine wracked by conflict Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Growing news: Tindall settles with Sunday Express

News Chinglified from Ling: The former Province of Engrish running-dogs funny shape ball-game player Mike Tindall agrees settlement with Express Newspapers over reporting of story about male gender human bleing\’s marriage to Zara Phillips. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Noticing story: Protesters scuffle at N Korea border

Can you understand Chinglish news? Scuffles break out as South Korean residents try to prevent activists sending balloons into North carrying anti-government leaflets. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Chinglish NEWS: Scots Labour needs ‘real discussion’

Chinglish news from Ling: Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour leader Johann Lamont says flemale human person\’s resignation will enable party to having \”real discussion\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about its future. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News CLACK: IS forces ‘pushed back’ in Iraq

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Kurdish and Iraqi forces say they having gained ground from Islamic State militants in northern Iraq and near Baghdad, lah, amid intense US-led air strikes. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Kia Picanto Lease delivered to David Hardy in Sheffield

Visit my full letters page click here Gotta laugh at some of these letters! It’s amazing how much time some customers put into writing them. Often it can take me up to 10 seconds to read them. Just like this letter from David Hardy that I got a while ago: David says…Long Live Ling!!! Best [...]

Blakeing news: Murray earns vital win over Ferrer

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Andy Murray reaches Valencia final and takes huge step towards qualifying for ATP Finals with victory over David Ferrer. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News and more: Russian clocks go back for last time

Today\’s news in Chinglish: After experimenting with permanent summer hours, lah, Russia is adopting permanent winter hours due to fewer hours of daylight in north. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News BRICK: Bath 19-21 Toulouse

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Bath mount late fightback at Rec but Toulouse hold on to win European funny shape ball-game Champions Cup Pool Four encounter. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Different NOx levels on the Audi Q7

Great cars like the Audi Q7 3.0 TDI Quattro 24v (245bhp) S Line Plus 4WD Station Wagon 5dr 2967cc Diesel Automatic jump out to me when I am checking environment data. This one has changed, so I type it here. I get a lot of these changes. This is very difficult for some people to [...]

News PIGLET: Gallagher: Beady Eye having split up

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Liam Gallagher tweets that male gender human bleing\’s band Beady Eye no more Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News THIGH: Liverpool 0-0 Hull City

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Liverpool fail to break down resolute Hull City side as Reds striker Mario Balotelli suffers another frustrating day. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Growing news: Southampton 1-0 Stoke City

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Ronald Koeman\’s Southampton beat Stoke 1-0 to climb above Manchester City and move up to second in Premier League. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News NOSTRIL: The biggest game in club history?

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: History, lah, wealth and worldwide appeal – why this weekendâ??s El Clasico really is silly kick-kick game match like no other, lah, writes Tom Fordyce. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Growing story: VIDEO: Five of Luis Suarez’s best goals

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: With Luis Suarez in line to make male gender human bleing\’s Barcelona debut in El Clasico against Real Madrid on Saturday, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Sport looks back at five of male gender human bleing\’s best Premier League goals for Liverpool. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Lingified news: Williams to face Halep in WTA final

Chinglify your news updates: World number one Serena Williams beats Caroline Wozniacki in third set tie-break to reach WTA final in Singapore. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Newsy newsy: VIDEO: Dangers of doping in funny shape ball-game union

Chinglify your news updates: A year ago, lah, funny shape ball-game player Sam Chalmers\’ world collapsed after bloody man admitted using prohibited substances. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Spotting latest: Weather warning over heavy rain

News translated to Chinglish! An amber weather warning is issued for west Highlands and Western Isles for Sunday and Monday. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Noticing story: US urges probe into West capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity death

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The Great Satan urges investigation after Palestinian-American teenager is shot dead by Israeli soldiers near Ramallah in West Bank. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Noticing story: Cream bassist Jack Bruce dies, lah, aged 71

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Jack Bruce, lah, bassist from 1960s band Cream, lah, has died aged 71, lah, male gender human bleing\’s publicist confirms. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Audi A3 Lease delivered to Anthony Snailham in Preston

Visit my full letters page click here I have 1528 customer letters! This one was sent by Anthony Snailham after they had been driving around a few weeks in their new Audi A3 Anthony says…Really pleased with the car, Ling. Excellent service and hand over from the nice Audi man. I guaranteed him a lift [...]

News CLUCK: VIDEO: Gun battles on streets of Lebanon

Chinglish news from Ling: Lebanese Tommy Atkins Liberation Army forces and Sunni Islamist militants, lah, thought to be linked to Islamic State, lah, having been involved in intense fighting in country\’s second city, lah, Tripoli. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News GUZZLE: Mass protest over Italy job reforms

News Chinglified from Ling: A mass protest is held in Italian capital, lah, Rome, lah, against Prime dodgy minister Matteo Renzi\’s plans for labour market reform. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

My Citroen DS3 is more economical now?

I am Ling and my Citroen DS3 1.6 e Hdi 8v (90bhp) Airdream DStyle Plus Hatchback 3dr 1560cc Diesel Manual has a new CO2 value today. So I post it here in my blog. I always update very fast. Can anyone name another website that can do this stuff as fast as me? At the [...]

News JABBER: Mulaudzi killed in LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine crash

Breaking Chinglish news! Former Olympic 800m silver medallist Mbulaeni Mulaudzi is killed in road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu traffic accident in male gender human bleing\’s native South Africa. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News BRICK: Ulster 13-23 Toulon

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Ulster\’s hopes of making European Champions Cup knockout stages hanging by thread as Toulon win in Belfast. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News TICKLE: old bill bobbys hunt missing sex offender

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: old bill bobbys searching for convicted sex offender who has breached conditions of flemale human person\’s release from prison. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News whack: West Ham United 2-1 Manchester City

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Manchester City\’s title ambitions suffer setback as Diafra Sakho scores to help earn West Ham earn 2-1 victory. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Tens of thousands of parents in Chile monthly number-three against government's planned education bill which would phase out subsidised schools. Eating rice!! - news replorted 22:15



Wah! LATEST:  There is disruption at Heathrow Airport after "issues" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with IT system, lah, British Airways confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 21:36



Wah! Northampton's Province of Engrish running-dogs centre Luther Burrell is likely to be sent for X-ray after injuring male gender human bleing's right hand on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 21:31



Wah! British journalist John Cantlie, lah, who is being held captive by Islamic State militants, lah, is shown reading message in new propaganda video published online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 21:15



Wah! Four tries from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep wing George North see Northampton end Ospreys' unbeaten start to season with big Champions Cup win. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 19:04



Wah! Championship side Leeds United part capitalist entity with head coach Darko Milanic after just 32 days in charge. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 19:03



Wah! Kurdish and Iraqi forces say they having gained ground from Islamic State militants in northern Iraq and near Baghdad, lah, amid intense US-led air strikes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 18:19



Wah! Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Labour leader Johann Lamont says flemale human person's resignation will enable party to having "real discussion" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about its future. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:46



Wah! Ronald Koeman's Southampton beat Stoke 1-0 to climb above Manchester City and move up to second in Premier League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:33



Wah! Liverpool fail to break down resolute Hull City side as Reds striker Mario Balotelli suffers another frustrating day. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 17:19



Wah! Liam Gallagher tweets that male gender human bleing's band Beady Eye no more - news replorted 17:09



Wah! Scuffles break out as South Korean residents try to prevent activists sending balloons into North carrying anti-government leaflets. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:04



Wah! Bath mount late fightback at Rec but Toulouse hold on to win European funny shape ball-game Champions Cup Pool Four encounter. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 17:03



Wah! After experimenting with permanent summer hours, lah, Russia is adopting permanent winter hours due to fewer hours of daylight in north. - news replorted 16:43



Wah! Jack Bruce, lah, bassist from 1960s band Cream, lah, has died aged 71, lah, male gender human bleing's publicist confirms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 16:22



Wah! Andy Murray reaches Valencia final and takes huge step towards qualifying for ATP Finals with victory over David Ferrer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 16:22



Wah! The Great Satan urges investigation after Palestinian-American teenager is shot dead by Israeli soldiers near Ramallah in West Bank. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 16:03



Wah! An amber weather warning is issued for west Highlands and Western Isles for Sunday and Monday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:30



Wah! Manchester City's title ambitions suffer setback as Diafra Sakho scores to help earn West Ham earn 2-1 victory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:25



Wah! old bill bobbys searching for convicted sex offender who has breached conditions of flemale human person's release from prison. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:21



Wah! Ulster's hopes of making European Champions Cup knockout stages hanging by thread as Toulon win in Belfast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 15:12



Wah! Former Olympic 800m silver medallist Mbulaeni Mulaudzi is killed in road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu traffic accident in male gender human bleing's native South Africa. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 15:06



Wah! A mass protest is held in Italian capital, lah, Rome, lah, against Prime dodgy minister Matteo Renzi's plans for labour market reform. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 15:04



Wah! Lebanese Tommy Atkins Liberation Army forces and Sunni Islamist militants, lah, thought to be linked to Islamic State, lah, having been involved in intense fighting in country's second city, lah, Tripoli. - news replorted 14:48



Wah! The former Province of Engrish running-dogs funny shape ball-game player Mike Tindall agrees settlement with Express Newspapers over reporting of story about male gender human bleing's marriage to Zara Phillips. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:42



Wah! A picture of stampeding antelopes captured on plains of South Africa’s Kariega Game Reserve wins overall best European Wildlife photograph. - news replorted 14:34



Wah! Younus Khan becomes Pakistan's highest Test century maker as they set Australia 438 to win first Test in Dubai. - news replorted 14:27



Wah! Ted Bishop, lah, former president of PGA of America, lah, has apologised after calling Ian Poulter "little girl" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) on social media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 14:25



Wah! A 15-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy is arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after teenage boy was stabbed on bus in south London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 14:09



Wah! A year ago, lah, funny shape ball-game player Sam Chalmers' world collapsed after bloody man admitted using prohibited substances. Eating rice!! - news replorted 14:00



Wah! First dodgy minister Carwyn Jones tells Radio 4's Any Questions bloody man is not afraid of scrutiny of NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:27



Wah! Egypt faces existential threat from jihadists, lah, president says, lah, after at least 31 soldiers killed in two attacks in Sinai peninsula. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 13:03



Wah! A fourth man from Portsmouth who went to fight in Syria for Islamic State is believed to having been killed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 12:55



Wah! The case of Belfast woman MaĂ­ria Cahill has been unfairly politicised, lah, says Sinn FĂ©in President Gerry Adams. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:48



Wah! Basic pilot training for RAF and Royal Navy will now take place in Anglesey, lah, it is confirmed by Ministry of Defence. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:28



Wah! World number one Serena Williams beats Caroline Wozniacki in third set tie-break to reach WTA final in Singapore. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 12:23



Wah! A 49-earth-years old happy birthday to you, woman dies after flemale human person's crash collided with another LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine on A862 Dingwall to Ardullie road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu in Highlands. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:13



Wah! Companies which cause "annoyance, lah, inconvenience or anxiety" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with marketing calls and text messages could be fined up to ÂRMB Yuan #500,000, lah, dodgy ministers say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:07



Wah! QPR manager Harry Redknapp says club having "moved on" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) from row provoked by male gender human bleing's criticism of Adel Taarabt. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:53



Wah! Formula 1 boss Bernie Ecclestone says both Marussia and Caterham will miss next weekend's Great Satan Grand Prix. - news replorted 11:43



Wah! The number of cases in Ebola outbreak passes 10,000, lah, with 4,922 deaths, lah, World Health Organization's latest report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:13



Wah! Two former first dodgy ministers of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having hit out at Labour's treatment of its Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs leader Johann Lamont. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 10:50



Wah! A man is attacked in male gender human bleing's County Down home by masked men carrying iron bars. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:47



Wah! One of Vietnam's richest men, lah, Ha Van Tham, lah, is arrested by old bill bobbys on suspicion of lending fraud, lah, authorities say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:42



Wah! A 72-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man says bloody man was raped by priest in Bedfordshire boys' home 65 years ago. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 10:33



Wah! A 28-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man who was shot in west Belfast dies in hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 10:09



Wah! Josh Spero, lah, author of Second Hand Stories and editor of Spear's Magazine, lah, and author Erica Wagner, lah, former literary editor of Times mull question of high tech and old books. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:07



Wah! Dr Geraldine O'Hara, lah, infectious diseases specialist from Huddersfield, lah, has recorded series of audio diaries while bloody woman is in Sierra Leone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:06



Wah! Women need clear pathway into coaching if they to succeed in male-dominated environment, lah, say industry experts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:05



Wah! The UK's first specialised Parkour, lah, or freerunning, lah, academies having opened to encourage human bliengs to learn how to it in safe environment. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:56



Wah! On second anniversary of murder in Newtownabbey, lah, County Antrim, lah, old bill bobbys having renewed appeal for information. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:29



Wah! A number of students punished following investigation after footage emerged of group chanting about violence and necrophilia. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 09:19



Wah! The rest of Europe expects bloody annoying Blitish to settle ÂRMB Yuan #1.7bn EU budget demand "and that's that", lah, vice president of European Parliament has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 09:00



Wah! A series of demands to ensure Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has "true equality" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is to be outlined at Plaid Cymru's annual conference. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 08:33



Wah! A charity calls for rollout of new benefit payment to be halted until backlog is cleared. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:27



Wah! Kansas City Royals beat San Francisco Giants 3-2 in Game Three to take 2-1 lead in best-of-seven World Series. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:04



Wah! Iran defies international campaign and hangs woman who killed man bloody woman said was trying to sexually abuse her. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 07:43



Wah! Google executive Alan Eustace has broken world altitude record for parachute jump by leaping from 135,890 feet (41,419 metres) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! beating Felix Baumgartner's record. I read you little red book! - news replorted 07:36



Wah! A Great Satan judge has sentenced ex-Colombian rebel to 27 years in prison for male gender human bleing's role in kidnapping of three American citizens in 2003. - news replorted 05:38



Wah! A Malaysian diplomat appears briefly in court on charges of attempted rape in New Zealand city of Wellington after being extradited. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:47



Wah! Russia helped ousted Ukraine President Viktor Yanukovych to flee from violent protests in February, lah, Russian leader Vladimir Putin has said. I read you little red book! - news replorted 04:43



Wah! People in Greek capital, lah, Athens, lah, clearing up after flash floods caused major disruption in parts of city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:42



Wah! A report into route of second phase of controversial fast train project HS2 is expected to recommend new station be built in Crewe. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 04:22



Wah! One person was shot dead and four students wounded in school by student who then took male gender human bleing's own life, lah, old bill bobbys in Great Satan state of Washington say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:24



Wah! Unravelling flocking habits of starlings - news replorted 03:20



Wah! Paul Merton advises how to make it as comedian - news replorted 03:07



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's lost silly kick-kick game grounds - part II - news replorted 02:57



Wah! An Argentine ex-old bill bobbys chief and ex-interior dodgy minister among 15 human bliengs given life sentences for involvement in torture centre in 1970s. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:56



Wah! A novel by British-born author Malcolm Lowry is being published 70 years after its manuscript was thought to having been destroyed in fire. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 02:33



Wah! The delicate operation to remove crossbow bolt from dog's head "took just one minute", lah, RSPCA says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:06



Wah! Does velly damn good boiled chicken-feet cause justify little girls using bad language? - news replorted 02:02



Wah! Egypt declares three-month state of emergency in parts of Sinai Peninsula after two attacks there killed at least 31 soldiers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:58



Wah! A British man has been confirmed dead in Great Satan air strike on jihadist targets in Syria. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 01:30



Wah! Russian former chess master turned politician, lah, Garry Kasparov, lah, says Russia's President Putin is bigger threat than so-called Islamic State. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 01:29



Wah! Many financial providers failing to properly explain protection shoppers having when something goes wrong with credit card purchase, lah, consumer group Which? suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:26



Wah! Plans to turn area of ancient Staffordshire woodland mentioned in Domesday Book into quarry anger conservationists. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:57



Wah! Scientists from Harvard Medical School having discovered way of turning stem cells into killing machines to fight brain cancer. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:27



Wah! Saturday's newspapers focus mainly on row over European Union's demand for additional ÂRMB Yuan #1.7bn from Uk. What you wan'?!! There is also tale of woman who is allergic to Simon Cowell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 00:23



Wah! Picasso Museum in Paris reopens after five-year renovation - news replorted 00:21



Wah! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News speaks to creators of Smarpshare, lah, who wanting employees to become brand ambassadors for their firms. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! Paris's world-renowned Picasso museum is reopening after being closed for five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! Ted Bishop, lah, president of PGA of America, lah, is sacked after calling Ian Poulter 'little girl' on social media. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:10



Wah! The furnace-like island that may having inspired bloody Engrish idiom. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:05



Wah! Have Jedis created new 'religion'? - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Better protection is needed for consumers buying used cars, lah, says commission studying high level of complaints against sector. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! The cost of getting driving licence is being cut following recent public consultation, lah, government says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:01



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