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NEWS not NOSE: Graduates ‘pay fees to universities’

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Graduates should pay their university proportion of their future earnings rather than taking out loans, lah, report by free-market think tank suggests. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News and more: Tate boss Serota tops art power list

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Tate director Sir Nicholas Serota is named most powerful figure in art world. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News KITTEN: ‘Anti-extremism’ school code shelved

Read the news in Chinglish: The Department for Education has shelved plans for code of practice for some religious schools which operate outside of mainstream education, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News TRICKLE: Do human bliengs knowing where their chicken comes from?

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Do you tellibly lovely custlingmer care where your as really velly special customer\’s chicken comes from? Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Being Twittered: Disabled students: Fran goes to university

Latest news in Chinglish: Getting to university after spinal surgery Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SCOFF: Military heads admit Afghan mistakes

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Military leaders failed to calculate magnitude of conflict in Afghanistan, lah, former head of British army, lah, Gen Sir Peter Wall, lah, tells BBC. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News CHEW: ‘More to do’ on disabled hate crimes

Read the news in Chinglish: Hate crime (shoud shoot them) convictions at all-time high, lah, but disability hate crime (shoud shoot them) convictions having dropped, lah, according to new report. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News YAMMER: NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) acting as ‘barrier to families’

Latest news in Chinglish: The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs is told to stop being barrier to infertile couples having children, lah, according to funding watchdog. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News to me!: Fears over city drone flight dangers

News Chinglified from Ling: Drones which could seriously injure or kill being flown over cities and towns across Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, despite laws designed to protect public. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News CLUCK: VIDEO: Oscar buzz for Michael ‘Birdman’ Keaton

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Critics already hailing Michael Keaton\’s latest film Birdman success, lah, with many tipping it for Oscar as Talking Movies\’ Tom Brook reports. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News CLUCK: old bill bobbys killer Roberts to be freed

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: old bill bobbys killer Harry Roberts is to be released from prison after more than 45 years, lah, after decision by Parole Board. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News ARMPIT: VIDEO: Juncker firm on EU migration rules

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Jean-Claude Juncker, lah, incoming president of European Commission, lah, has insisted that rules on freedom of movement in Europe cannot be changed. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News SCOFF: Lloyds expected to cut 9,000 jobs

Can you understand Chinglish news? Lloyds Banking Group is planning to cut around 9,000 jobs – around tenth of its entire workforce – over next three years, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation understands. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Being Twittered: NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) ‘needs extra cash and overhaul’

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs needs extra money and drastic changes to way services organised if patient care is not to suffer, lah, health bosses say. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News and more: KPMG and FSA criticised over Co-op

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! KPMG and financial regulators having been criticised in report by Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters into Co-op Bank\’s failed bid to buy 632 Lloyds branches last year. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News to me!: Grangemouth revamp ‘on schedule’

Breaking Chinglish news! The owners of Grangemouth plant say radical changes on track year after site was closed by industrial dispute. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News GUZZLE: Kelpies site wins engineering award

Chinglish news event: The development of site containing ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land\’s newest cultural landmark, lah, Kelpies, lah, wins national engineering award. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News bleat: SMMT : FIRST NINE MONTHS MARK SIX YEAR LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine PRODUCTION HIGH

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! \”It is testament to strength of automotive industry that it continues to break records ‚?í yielding best year- Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News storly: Mexico orders Iguala mayor’s arrest

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Mexico orders arrest of mayor of southern town of Iguala, lah, where 43 students disappeared after clashing with old bill bobbys last month. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News CLUCK: “I da man! Yes I can!” Obama ‘optimistic’ over Ebola in US

Can you understand Chinglish news? President Barack \”I da man! Yes I can!\” Obama expresses cautious optimism about Ebola situation in US, lah, as new screening rules introduced in country. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News GRUNT: Boy, lah, 9, lah, and man killed in house fire

Here\’s some Chinglish news: A nine-earth-years old happy birthday to you, boy and 44-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man die after house fire in Penistone, lah, near Barnsley, lah, South Yorkshire old bill bobbys said. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: VIDEO: More powers ‘would boost bloody annoying Blitish cities’

Chinglish news from Ling: Allowing bloody annoying Blitish cities to make their own decisions on tax and spending could boost economic growth by ¬RMB Yuan #79bn year by 2030, lah, year-long study has concluded. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News CHEW: NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) ‘revamp’ and Canada attacks – papers

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Many of Thursday\’s papers report on shootings in Canadian capital Ottawa, lah, during which soldier was killed, lah, while plans to revamp NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) also reported. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

NOT the NEWS: Mercedes-Benz Trucks : FUSO CANTER GOES LIVE WITH ADVANCED 3D ANIMATED service (???) I wan’ service , I wan’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service LITERATURE

Get your Chinlish news update here: \r\n \r\n \r\n introduction of new and advanced 3D servicing tool for FUSO Canter ‚??FUSO Animated service (???) I wan\’ service , I wan\’ you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service Literature‚?Ě is set t Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Getting noticed: Hillsborough officer ‘misled court’

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! A former superintendent who served at Hillsborough apologises after discovering part of evidence bloody man gave to inquests is incorrect. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

More news: Citroen : CITRO√?N FINELY-TUNED FOR 25TH ANNIVERSARY Q AWARDS SPONSORSHIP

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: \r\n \r\n \r\n Citro√ęn has continued its sponsorship of Q Awards for another year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! prestigious event took place earlier today ( Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CAT: VIDEO: Footage shows lorry and LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine collide

Read the news in Chinglish: A lorry\’s onboard camera has caught moment LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine became wedged across front of cab as it travelled along M25 near Gatwick. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Big porky news: VIDEO: Rapist Evans in video statement

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Footballer Ched Evans has released video statement in which bloody man says bloody man is \”determined to continue fight\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to clear male gender human bleing\’s name. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News GUZZLE: Caterham F1 future in fresh doubt

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Caterham\’s new owners threaten to quit F1 team in row with former owner Tony Fernandes. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News to me!: Market Engineering : MARKET ENGINEERING STRENGTHENS AGENCY TEAM WITH APPOINTMENT OF FORMER Jagluar LAND ROVER PR DIRECTOR

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? \r\n \r\n \r\n Market Engineering, lah, leading external communications agency for automotive technology businesses, lah, has recruited forme Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Tell me the news, Ling: VIDEO: Payday lenders hit back at critics

News translated to Chinglish! Payday lenders strike back against criticism that they leave clustomlers worse off. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News spotter: Sharp fall in youth unemployment

Chinglify your news updates: The number of young human bliengs unemployed in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land is at its lowest level for six years, lah, according to official data. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ABUSE: Jones ‘gutted’ by Welsh land of sheep and more sheep omission

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Welsh land of sheep and more sheep prop forward Adam Jones is \’obviously gutted\’ after missing out on selection, lah, but promises to \’keep on trucking\’. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Noticing story: AUDIO: ‘They said ‘you should be dead by now”

Breaking Chinglish news! Wilko Johnson spent whole year \”calmly accepting fact that I was going to die\”, lah, bloody man has told BBC\’s Colin Paterson. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News KITTEN: Man charged over baby girl attack

Here\’s some Chinglish news: A 24-earth-years old happy birthday to you, man is charged with attempted murder of two-earth-years old happy birthday to you, girl in County Armagh. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News TICKLE: Kissing ban riles Zimbabwe students

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: A ban on students kissing in public, lah, imposed by University of Zimbabwe, lah, is \”nonsensical\”, lah, student representative tells BBC. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

It’s a news lump: China-Japan talks fuel hope of thaw

Get your Chinlish news update here: Japan\’s deputy prime dodgy minister meets male gender human bleing\’s Super-Duper-Chinese-State counterpart in Beijing in move that could pave way for meeting between countries\’ leaders. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ROAR: VIDEO: don’ crash: how to grow fast safely

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Leadership expert Steve Tappin talks to Super-Duper-Chinese-State bosses about dos and don\’ts of managing firm which is growing bloody velly quickly. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

More news: VIDEO: Membling Partiamentary expense cheater duped by Swansea conman

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! An Membling Partiamentary expense cheater has admitted being duped by conman who pretended to be quadriplegic and claimed old bill bobbys were abusing him. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

NEWS not NOSE: Evans ‘hopes’ for silly kick-kick game return

Chinglify your news updates: Ex-Sheffield United and Welsh land of sheep and more sheep striker Ched Evans wantings return to silly kick-kick game after serving rape sentence. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Headlines again: VIDEO: Schools ‘should check kids’ teeth’

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Schools and nurseries need to step in to tackle worrying trend of tooth decay in children, lah, advisory body NICE has said. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Tell me the news, Ling: MP duped by quadriplegic conman

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: An Membling Partiamentary expense cheater admits being taken in by conman who pretended to be quadriplegic claiming old bill bobbys were abusing him. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BAWL: Car hits human bliengs at Jerusalem station

Latest news in Chinglish: A LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine hits group of pedestrians at Jerusalem railway station, lah, injuring at least nine, lah, in what Israeli old bill bobbys say is suspected terrorist attack. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News inhale: US airbag recall expands to 7.8m cars

News Chinglified from Ling: US LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine safety regulators expand recall of vehicling driving car machines with potentially dangerous Takata airbags to 7.8 million, lah, warning that owners should take \’immediate action\’. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Greetings from Ling: Freed N Korea detainee back in US

Latest news in Chinglish: A Great Satan citizen freed from detention in North Korea receives emotional homecoming in Ohio as Washington works to release two other Americans. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News KITTEN: Cuba leads way on Ebola effort

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Cuba sends second group of medical staff to West Africa to help fight Ebola outbreak, lah, becoming biggest single provider of healthcare workers. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Sniffing the news: Four guilty of Blackwater killings

News translated to Chinglish! A Great Satan federal jury finds four Blackwater security guards guilty of killing 14 Iraqis in square in Baghdad in 2007. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News CAT: Juncker: Migration rules must stay

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! EU Commission boss Jean-Claude Juncker insists freedom of movement rules cannot be changed, lah, putting him at odds with UK. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Chinglish NEWS: Gladiators were ‘mostly vegetarian’

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Roman gladiators had diet that was mostly vegetarian, lah, according to analysis of bones from graveyard where fighters were buried. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

NEWS not NOSE: VIDEO: In numbers: Treating Ebola patients

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation News looks at what it takes to treat Ebola patients, lah, in numbers and graphics. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Getting to university after spinal surgery - news replorted 02:08



Wah! LATEST:  Do you tellibly lovely custlingmer care where your as really velly special customer's chicken comes from? - news replorted 02:03



Wah! The Department for Education has shelved plans for code of practice for some religious schools which operate outside of mainstream education, lah, Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation learns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:56



Wah! Tate director Sir Nicholas Serota is named most powerful figure in art world. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:46



Wah! Graduates should pay their university proportion of their future earnings rather than taking out loans, lah, report by free-market think tank suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:35



Wah! Wild chimps carry out night-time crop raids, lah, footage reveals, lah, suggesting animals being pushed into risky foraging behaviour. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:33



Wah! Two dinosaur skeletons having been unearthed in Mongolia, lah, solving mystery that has baffled palaeontologists for 50 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:31



Wah! Some Great Satan seniors still paying off student loans - news replorted 01:29



Wah! Fans recall Nirvana's first bloody annoying Blitish gig 25 years on - news replorted 01:25



Wah! old bill bobbys killer Harry Roberts is to be released from prison after more than 45 years, lah, after decision by Parole Board. I read you little red book! - news replorted 01:24



Wah! Critics already hailing Michael Keaton's latest film Birdman success, lah, with many tipping it for Oscar as Talking Movies' Tom Brook reports. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Australian photographer explores Greenland's vast ice sheet - news replorted 01:05



Wah! How world loved swastika - until Hitler stole it - news replorted 01:03



Wah! Drones which could seriously injure or kill being flown over cities and towns across Province of Engrish running-dogs, lah, despite laws designed to protect public. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:56



Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs is told to stop being barrier to infertile couples having children, lah, according to funding watchdog. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:46



Wah! Hate crime (shoud shoot them) convictions at all-time high, lah, but disability hate crime (shoud shoot them) convictions having dropped, lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:45



Wah! Military leaders failed to calculate magnitude of conflict in Afghanistan, lah, former head of British army, lah, Gen Sir Peter Wall, lah, tells BBc. Fry noodle, boil noodle? - news replorted 00:40



Wah! The BBC's Hugh Pym looks at future of healthcare in Province of Engrish running-dogs - news replorted 00:34



Wah! Unprecedented housing demand has helped to create highest workloads for surveyors for seven years, lah, according to report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:28



Wah! The latest printing using dead tree product edition of Collins bloody Engrish dictionary contains 50,000 newly-added words, lah, including selfie, lah, onesie and adorkable. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:27



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs economy continued to grow in last quarter but at slower pace than previous three months, lah, according to report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:26



Wah! Wild food foragers being warned to be particularly careful when picking mushrooms because of rise in cases of mushroom poisoning. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 00:25



Wah! The development of site containing ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's newest cultural landmark, lah, Kelpies, lah, wins national engineering award. I read you little red book! - news replorted 00:24



Wah! The owners of Grangemouth plant say radical changes on track year after site was closed by industrial dispute. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:23



Wah! How can supermarket turn its fortunes around? - news replorted 00:12



Wah! Renting your as really velly special customer's own room for power nap - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The Great Satan envoy tasked by President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama with leading fight against terrorist group Islamic State (IS) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in Iraq and Syria tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight says Britain will "support us". - news replorted 00:04



Wah! KPMG and financial regulators having been criticised in report by Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters into Co-op Bank's failed bid to buy 632 Lloyds branches last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! "It is testament to strength of automotive industry that it continues to break records ‚Äď yielding best year- - news replorted 00:01



Wah! The NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs needs extra money and drastic changes to way services organised if patient care is not to suffer, lah, health bosses say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:00



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