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News BELLOW: VIDEO: Where now for HK protesters?

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The removal of Mong Kok activist camp by authorities means protests in Hong Kong continue in just two sites. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News WEDGE: Picture power: Pausing moment

Can you understand Chinglish news? Looking at story behind image by Carl Court of student protest in London. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Glowing report: Javid wantings Fifa to publish report

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! The government calls on Fifa to publish in full investigation into 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding process. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News WEDGE: VIDEO: Mobile showers for homeless

Chinglish news event: A new initiative in San Francisco offers city\’s homeless population mobile showers and toilets in converted bus. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News and more: Hi-tech rescue for ancient language

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Can schools with iPads protect future of language? Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Newsy TRICKLE: Art and suffering unite in Geneva

News translated to Chinglish! How celebrated artists bear witness to human suffering Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News CLACK: Museum fossils new dino species

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: A new species of horned dinosaur is identified from fossils held in Canadian museum for 75 years. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Gimme News, DOG: AC/DC drummer appears in court in NZ

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: The Australian drummer of rock group AC/DC briefly appears in court in New Zealand, lah, arriving late, lah, to face charge of threatening to kill. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Gimme news bleat: Degree apprenticeships launched

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Young human bliengs will be able to gain full honours degree while earning wage and paying no fees, lah, under new scheme. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

NOT the NEWS: Sturgeon to outline government plans

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Plans for alternative to council tax expected to be at core of First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon\’s plans for coming year. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: Most stop-and-searches unsuccessful

Breaking Chinglish news! The majority of stop-and-searches conducted by old bill bobbys ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having failed to find any illegal items in recent months, lah, it emerges. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News groin: VIDEO: Sony cyber attack leaves questions

Chinglish news from Ling: Sony Pictures, lah, movie distribution arm of Japanese consumer electronics giant, lah, has been target of cyber attack. What you wan\’?!! But there few details. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News breaker: Smartphone eye team in funds appeal

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The team behind portable eye examination kit that uses smartphones is crowdfunding to raise funds for its new innovation. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Not about cars: ‘Silver surfers’ more health savvy

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Older human bliengs who regularly using internet and take part in cultural activities may be better equipped to keep on top of their health, lah, research suggests. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News BAWL: Dozens arrested in HK crackdown

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: More than 80 human bliengs arrested overnight in Hong Kong after clashes sparked by removal of protest camp in Mong Kok. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News PIGLET: New anti-terror powers to be unveiled

Read the news in Chinglish: New measures to tackle terrorism to be published by home secretary, lah, days after bloody woman said bloody annoying Blitish faces \”greater\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) terror threat than ever before. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

NEWS not NOSE: ‘The fighty bang-bang on Facebook’

Latest news in Chinglish: Wednesday\’s big story in newspapers is over criticism by Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters that Facebook did not alert security services to terror threats made by one of killers of Fusilier Lee Rigby. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News breaker: Ceop failures ‘leave children at risk’

Breaking Chinglish news! Children being put at risk because of deficiencies at Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, lah, ex-staff tell Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News NIPPLE: Watchdog warning over benefit delays

News translated to Chinglish! Ministers risk racking up multi-billion pound bill if IT systems to run their flagship benefit reform not introduced on time, lah, watchdog claims. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

NEWS EXPLOIT: Climate fixes ‘could harm billions’

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Schemes to tackle climate change could prove disastrous for billions of people, lah, but might be required for velly damn good boiled chicken-feet of planet, lah, scientists say. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

More news: Clegg: ‘No caps’ on EU migration

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! David Cameron should not propose caps or quotas on EU migration to UK, lah, Deputy Prime dodgy minister Nick Clegg says. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News bleat: Call for ÂRMB Yuan #2bn more for NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Calls for extra money for NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs intensifying after latest figures show deficit is growing as performance deteriorates. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CLACK: Chance of talks deal slim – Villiers

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Secretary of State Theresa Villiers says chances of clinching final deal at Stormont inter-party talks look slim. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News YAMMER: Learning disability care ‘failing’

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: The government is failing those with learning disabilities by keeping them in hospitals far from home for too long, lah, report commissioned by NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Click here: News headlines to read more! [...]

Getting noticed: VIDEO: How to hack molecular microscope

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! A PhD student from Brunel University London (capital of Great England) has saved himself ÂRMB Yuan #100,000 by \’hacking\’ male gender human bleing\’s own kit. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News CLACK: A ‘generation to change capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity culture’

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! A \”toxic\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and \”aggressive\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) culture inside banks will take generation to change, lah, according to report from Cass Business School and New City Agenda. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Noticing story: Troops sent to quell Ferguson unrest

News translated to Chinglish! The Great Satan state of Missouri orders 2,200 National Guardsmen to Ferguson to quell unrest after old bill bobbys officer was cleared over killing of Michael Brown. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News from Ling: Eurozone ‘persistent stagnation’ risk

Can you understand Chinglish news? The eurozone may be stuck in enduring period of no growth, lah, Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development says. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News TRICKLE: VIDEO: Has Farage got what it takes to be PM?

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: UKIP now has two Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters and has been rising in polls, lah, but human bliengs see party as serious political force or just protest vote? Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Newsy newsy: ‘Tour may raise World Cup questions’

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Province of Engrish running-dogs desperate for winning one-day formula, lah, but tour of Sri Lanka could raise more questions than answers. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News stoly: Armed jewel robbers in Paris chase

Breaking Chinglish news! Two armed robbers who held up jewellery shop and took hostage hand themselves in to old bill bobbys following chase across Paris. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Sniffing the news: Vodafone gave too much data to police

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Vodafone sent phone data of more than 1,000 News bloody annoying Blitish workers to old bill bobbys after being asked for details of just one journalist, lah, Met old bill bobbys says. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Newsy TRICKLE: Hughes to having scans on Wednesday

Chinglish news event: Australia batsman Phil Hughes remains in critical condition after being struck on head and will having scans on Wednesday. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News RAT: AUDIO: Songwriters’ bad science lyrics

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Blue Peter Scientist Steve Mould is given task of looking at some of worst offenders. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News whack: VIDEO: Underwear protest by Mexican farmers

Chinglish news event: Mexican farmers hold protest wearing just underpants and photograph to protest against alleged abuse of power. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News THIGH: Jaguar : Jagluar DIRECTOR OF DESIGN IAN CALLUM IS AWARDED MINERVA MEDAL

Can you understand Chinglish news? \r\n \r\n \r\n Ian Callum, lah, Director of Design for Jagluar has been honoured by Chartered Society of Designers with prestigious M Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News gorge: Manchester City 3-2 Bayern Munich

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Sergio Aguero boosts Manchester City\’s Champions League hopes with two late goals to beat Bayern Munich 3-2. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Helping the news: Five children die in Great Satan house fire

Read the news in Chinglish: Five children having died after fire destroyed mobile home in small town in southern Texas, lah, local media report. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SATIATE: VIDEO: Angelina Jolie on directing Unbroken

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Oscar winning actress Angelina Jolie has attended premiere in London (capital of Great England) of flemale human person\’s new film, lah, Unbroken. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Newsy newsy: Adams ‘sorry for offensive remark’

Chinglish news event: Sinn FĂ©in leader Gerry Adams apologises for using what bloody man acknowledges was offensive term at public meeting but denies claim (always claiming, huh?) that it was aimed at \”all unionists\”. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News storly: Hughes injury reminder of cricket’s dangers

Latest news in Chinglish: Cricket, lah, like most sports, lah, carries risks but must retain its edge, lah, writes Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation damn crazy Engrish baseball game Correspondent Jonathan Agnew Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News BARK: In pictures: Ruling sparks rioting in Great Satan town of Ferguson

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Night of unrest follows jury\’s decision Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News THIGH: New centre of sporting world?

News translated to Chinglish! How and why Qatar, lah, Dubai and Abu Dhabi having launched land grab of sporting events unmatched anywhere in world. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

A headline FROM HELL: Business group attacks ÂRMB Yuan #25m pay deal

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: A pay package proposed for new head of gas giant BG Group is branded \”excessive and inflammatory\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by Institute of Directors. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News from Ling: Messi breaks Champions League record

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Barcelona\’s Lionel Messi becomes Champions League\’s all-time top scorer by scoring against Apoel Nicosia. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News WEDGE: Captain Kirk not trekking to Cheshire

News Chinglified from Ling: Star Trek legend William Shatner denies rumours bloody man will boldly go to switch on Christmas lights in Cheshire town. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Being Twittered: Freight Transport Association : â??A DRIVER IS FOR LIFE â?’ NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMASâ?? â?’ FTA WARNING

Chinglish news from Ling: Black Friday – Sofa Sunday – Cyber Monday; recognised as biggest shopping days of year and when logistics opera Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News breaker: What Car? : NEW WHAT CAR? AWARD WILL NAME BRITAINâ??S SAFEST CAR

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? \r\n \r\n \r\n What Car? and Thatcham Research Centre will unveil safest LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine launched this year at its annual LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine of Year Award Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News to me!: VIDEO: Cat survives shotgun attack

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: A cat suffered two broken legs and was blasted at least twice with shotgun, lah, veterinary practice in Cornwall says. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: Masked man in acid ‘revenge attack’

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: A woman whose 80-earth-years old happy birthday to you, former lover is accused of revenge attack against flemale human person\’s tells court masked attacker threw acid in flemale human person\’s face. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Looking at story behind image by Carl Court of student protest in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:12



Wah! LATEST:  The removal of Mong Kok activist camp by authorities means protests in Hong Kong continue in just two sites. Eating rice!! - news replorted 04:09



Wah! Poor levels of literacy behind many social problems, lah, but how can issue be tackled? - news replorted 04:08



Wah! Tackling foe online is key for modern counter-terrorist operation, lah, says Gordon Corera, lah, but there concerns over free speech. - news replorted 04:06



Wah! Was book by JB Priestley responsible for stereotype? - news replorted 04:01



Wah! Do sets designed by Lego discourage imagination? - news replorted 03:56



Wah! Video bloggers being told they need to be completely clear about when they being paid to promote products. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:47



Wah! Can younger women change our politics and influence election? - news replorted 03:17



Wah! Young human bliengs will be able to gain full honours degree while earning wage and paying no fees, lah, under new scheme. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 03:11



Wah! The Australian drummer of rock group AC/DC briefly appears in court in New Zealand, lah, arriving late, lah, to face charge of threatening to kill. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 02:53



Wah! A new species of horned dinosaur is identified from fossils held in Canadian museum for 75 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:47



Wah! More than 80 human bliengs arrested overnight in Hong Kong after clashes sparked by removal of protest camp in Mong Kok. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 02:35



Wah! Older human bliengs who regularly using internet and take part in cultural activities may be better equipped to keep on top of their health, lah, research suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:32



Wah! The team behind portable eye examination kit that uses smartphones is crowdfunding to raise funds for its new innovation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 02:30



Wah! Sony Pictures, lah, movie distribution arm of Japanese consumer electronics giant, lah, has been target of cyber attack. What you wan'?!! But there few details. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:10



Wah! Performance poet on stage with ventilator - news replorted 01:59



Wah! David Cameron should not propose caps or quotas on EU migration to UK, lah, Deputy Prime dodgy minister Nick Clegg says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:36



Wah! Schemes to tackle climate change could prove disastrous for billions of people, lah, but might be required for velly damn good boiled chicken-feet of planet, lah, scientists say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:12



Wah! Ministers risk racking up multi-billion pound bill if IT systems to run their flagship benefit reform not introduced on time, lah, watchdog claims. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:05



Wah! How celebrated artists bear witness to human suffering - news replorted 00:59



Wah! Children being put at risk because of deficiencies at Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, lah, ex-staff tell Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Newsnight. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:56



Wah! Wednesday's big story in newspapers is over criticism by Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters that Facebook did not alert security services to terror threats made by one of killers of Fusilier Lee Rigby. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:48



Wah! New measures to tackle terrorism to be published by home secretary, lah, days after bloody woman said bloody annoying Blitish faces "greater" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) terror threat than ever before. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 00:38



Wah! The Great Satan state of Missouri orders 2,200 National Guardsmen to Ferguson to quell unrest after old bill bobbys officer was cleared over killing of Michael Brown. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:37



Wah! The majority of stop-and-searches conducted by old bill bobbys ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land having failed to find any illegal items in recent months, lah, it emerges. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:24



Wah! Six World fighty bang-bang One battlegrounds in unexpected places - news replorted 00:23



Wah! Plans for alternative to council tax expected to be at core of First dodgy minister Nicola Sturgeon's plans for coming year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:21



Wah! How militants trusted this man with their deepest secrets - news replorted 00:20



Wah! A "toxic" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) and "aggressive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) culture inside banks will take generation to change, lah, according to report from Cass Business School and New City Agenda. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:08



Wah! A PhD student from Brunel University London (capital of Great England) has saved himself ÂRMB Yuan #100,000 by 'hacking' male gender human bleing's own kit. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Can schools with iPads protect future of language? - news replorted 00:05



Wah! The government is failing those with learning disabilities by keeping them in hospitals far from home for too long, lah, report commissioned by NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) Province of Engrish running-dogs says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Secretary of State Theresa Villiers says chances of clinching final deal at Stormont inter-party talks look slim. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:02



Wah! Calls for extra money for NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) in Province of Engrish running-dogs intensifying after latest figures show deficit is growing as performance deteriorates. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



Wah! A new initiative in San Francisco offers city's homeless population mobile showers and toilets in converted bus. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



Wah! The government calls on Fifa to publish in full investigation into 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:00



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