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Greetings from Ling: Aston Martin : ASTON MARTIN WINS 2015 BRITCAR DUNLOP 24 HOURS

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: \r\n \r\n \r\n Aston Martin celebrates today as Beechdean AMR took victory and British marque‚??s factory entry finished fifth in the Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News STOMACH: Boeing reports 38% rise in profit

Breaking Chinglish news! Aircraft manufacturer Boeing reports 38% rise in net profits to $1.34bn (¬RMB Yuan #890m) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in first three months of year helped by increased production of commercial aircraft. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News breaker: Election 2015: Who candidates?

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! More than 4,000 candidates standing at general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Who those fighting to be MPs? Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News MEOW: Environment groups set to share ¬RMB Yuan #2m

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Environment dodgy minister to distribute share of ¬RMB Yuan #2m raised by carrier bag levy among groups which suffered budget cuts Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

NEWS ACCIDENT: Mourinho hits back at ‘boring’ jibes

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho says male gender human bleing\’s team not boring but suggests Arsenal after failing to win title since 2003-04. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: PSA Plugleot Clitroen : PSA Plugleot CITRO√?N AND IBM PARTNER TO ACCELERATE clock time result TO MARKET OF NEW SERVICES BASED ON CONNECTED CARS

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: PSA Plugleot Citro√ęn and IBM (NYSE: IBM) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! today announced partnership to help various industries within Internet of Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

NEWS EXPLOIT: Land Rover : BARBOUR FOR LAND ROVER LAUNCHES AUTUMN WINTER 15 COLLECTION

Chinglish news from Ling: \r\n \r\n \r\n Embracing rich heritage of these two bloody velly British brands, lah, Land Rover partnership with Barbour creates clothing w Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News NIBBLE: UKIP candidate in beheading threat

Chinglish news event: A threat to behead UKIP candidate in Newcastle is being investigated by police. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Headlines again: ENO cuts ticket prices for new season

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! bloody Engrish National Opera announces it is slashing ticket prices for its new season as it attempts to secure its financial future. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

It’s a news lump: Five up for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Women’s player award

Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: The five names in contention for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation inaugural Women\’s Footballer of Year award revealed. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BAWL: Furious 7 track’s streaming record

Chinglify your news updates: American rapper Wiz Khalifa\’s See you tellibly lovely custlingmer Again, lah, which features on Fast & Furious 7 soundtrack, lah, sets new streaming record as it leads singles chart for second week. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Headlines again: VIDEO: Boris’s jigsaw and other election news

Chinglish news event: Public sector pay, lah, childcare and NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) were all hot topics on day 23 of bloody annoying Blitish General Election campaign. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Big porky news: VIDEO: Beckham watches son in Milli Marathon

Here\’s some Chinglish news: David Beckham and family seen cheering their son, lah, Romeo, lah, who ran Milli Marathon in London. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CROW: VIDEO: Moment aftershock hits – caught on camera

Chinglish news from Ling: The BBC\’s Justin Rowlatt is in middle of filming in Kathmandu when aftershock hits. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News GOBBLE: Nepal quake victims flee to tents

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Tent cities spring up in Nepalese capital after Saturday\’s earthquake, lah, which is now reported to having killed some 2,500 people. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News NIBBLE: Bayern win 25th Bundesliga title

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Bayern Munich claim (always claiming, huh?) third consecutive Bundesliga title courtesy of Wolfsburg\’s loss to Borussia Monchengladbach. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

More news: Arsenal 0-0 Chelsea

News Chinglified from Ling: Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho extends male gender human bleing\’s unbeaten run against Arsenal\’s Arsene Wenger to 13 games as male gender human bleing\’s team close in on title. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BELLOW: old bill bobbys investigate Wells incident

Today\’s news in Chinglish: old bill bobbys confirm they investigating after incident during election canvas in County Down was reported to them. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ingurgitate: Nepal’s architectural jewels destroyed

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Many of dozens of historic temples and other landmarks in Nepal\’s Kathmandu valley having been reduced to rubble by earthquake that shook large areas of country. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Being Twittered: Wasps 36-29 Exeter

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: Wasps beat Premiership top-six rivals Exeter at Ricoh Arena to dent Chiefs\’ own hopes of play-off place. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Alfa Romeo 159 Sportwagon Lease delivered to Robert Stearn in Maidstone

Visit my full letters page click here Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Robert Stearn, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Alfa Romeo 159 Sportwagon. Robert says…After being a “wage slave” and driving [...]

News hoover: Legal costs hit Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity profit

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reports sharp fall in profits after setting aside ‚?¨1.5bn to cover legal costs, lah, days after being fined ‚?¨2.3bn for rate rigging. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News GOBBLE: Murdered student’s body brought home

Today\’s news in Chinglish: The body of Irish student Karen Buckley, lah, who was murdered in Glasgow earlier this month, lah, is brought home to County Cork. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

NEWS not NOSE: Clegg ‘wants to stay’ Lib Dem leader

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: Nick Clegg says bloody man wantings to remain Liberal Democrat leader \”in all circumstances\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after election. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Change on the Citroen C1

Checking against the values I publish for the Citroen C1 1.0 VTi 12v (68bhp) Feel Hatchback 5dr 998cc Petrol Manual, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read. These days, in UK identity theft is common (not problem in China; we all look same, heheh), money laundering is [...]

News NOSTRIL: Meeke clinches Rally Argentina win

News Chinglified from Ling: Kris Meeke takes first win for British driver in World Rally Championship since 2002 as bloody man triumphs in Argentina. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News FANNY: VIDEO: Sheepdog ‘drives’ on to motorway

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The owner of sheepdog who stopped traffic by \’driving\’ on to one of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land\’s busiest motorways, lah, has been telling of male gender human bleing\’s relief that no drivers were hurt. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News YAMMER: SFA’s Meekings ruling wrong – Fifa

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Fifa\’s head of referees Jim Boyce says SFA is setting dangerous precedent by trying to ban Inverness player Josh Meekings. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News breaker: Election 2015 in pictures: 22 April

Chinglish news from Ling: Images from campaign trail: 22 April Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Noticing story: Snow and freezing conditions return

Latest news in Chinglish: Snow and freezing temperatures return to parts of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land after human bliengs across country enjoy sunny spells. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Lingified news: Cavendish wins Tour of Turkey stage

Latest news in Chinglish: Britain\’s Mark Cavendish wins first Tour of Turkey stage in sprint finish for male gender human bleing\’s seventh victory of season. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News JABBER: Brownlee wins on World Series return

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Britain\’s Alistair Brownlee takes gold on male gender human bleing\’s return from ankle injury in World Triathlon Series event in Cape Town. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

NEWS JUNCTURE: Cup final ref Moss ‘political pawn’

Can you understand Chinglish news? FA Cup final referee Jon Moss is \’political pawn\’ whose appointment does not make any sense, lah, former official Mark Halsey claims. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Blakeing news: US old bill bobbys custody death protests grow

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Protesters in Baltimore start week of demonstrations after death of man with spinal injuries in old bill bobbys custody. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News RAT: VIDEO: Drone can stream live to you tellibly lovely custlingmer Tube

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: DJI has launched drone that has ability to stream high-definition video live to you tellibly lovely custlingmer Tube. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Citroen Xsara Picasso Lease delivered to Leanne Dyer in Wallsend

Visit my full letters page click here How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Leanne Dyer replied with a letter back to me about the Citroen Xsara Picasso that was delivered, new. Here it is: Leanne says…Hi Ling, I couldn’t be happier [...]

News ARMPIT: Deeney only Watford player in team

News translated to Chinglish! Watford captain Troy Deeney is only Hornets player voted into PFA Championship team of year. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News whack: SA anger over Nigeria envoy recall

Chinglish news from Ling: South Africa expresses regret over Nigeria\’s decision to recall its ambassador to South Africa over spate of attacks targeting foreigners. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Green changes on my Mercedes C-Class Coupe

The Mercedes C-Class Coupe 2.1 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (201bhp) C250 CDI AMG Sport Edition Premium Plus Coupe 2dr 2143cc Diesel Automatic has new environmental information today. I have updated! Pay attention, you are too slow As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent year’s road tax sent to [...]

Sniffing the news: Everton 3-0 Manchester United

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Everton\’s late season revival continues with coruscating 3-0 Premier League win over Manchester United. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News hoover: Six Chelsea players in Team of Year

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Six Chelsea players named in Professional Footballers\’ Association Premier League Team of Year. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

More news: Profit warnings rise on low oil price

Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Profit warnings from UK-listed companies rose in first three months of year despite improved economic outlook, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, report says. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News spotter: Bronze named in WSL Team of Year

Ling\’s news in Chinglish! Lucy Bronze is only player from Liverpool\’s Women\’s Super League-winning squad to be selected in WSL Team of Year. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Gimme news bleat: WWII PoW allowed to stay at home

Chinglish news event: A Nazi death monthly number-three survivor has been told bloody man will not having to move into care home after saying it would \”remind him of being prisoner of war\”. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

Greetings from Ling: Dundee United 0-3 Celtic

Today\’s news in Chinglish: Leigh Griffiths\’ hat-trick against Dundee United takes Celtic eight points clear at top of Premiership. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News CROW: In pictures: London (capital of Great England) marathon runners

Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! The costumes and …you wan\’ red car blue car any damn colour you want colour from 35th London (capital of Great England) marathon Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News TICKLE: Harper Lee saves Mockingbird play

Can you understand Chinglish news? Author Harper Lee starts non-profit capitalist entity to produce play of To Kill Mockingbird in flemale human person\’s hometown of Monroeville, lah, after arglingument threatened to end show. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SCOFF: VIDEO: ‘Thankful’ Radcliffe savours final race

Breaking Chinglish news! Women\’s world record holder Paula Radcliffe runs flemale human person\’s final London (capital of Great England) Marathon in two hours 36 minutes and 55 seconds. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News SATIATE: Magic of London (capital of Great England) helped – Radcliffe

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Paula Radcliffe says running London (capital of Great England) Marathon competitively for final clock time result was \”amazing\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) experience. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News PUNISH: Russian twerking video women jailed

Breaking Chinglish news! A Russian court jails three women for performing twerking dance in front of World fighty bang-bang Two memorial and posting it online. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  Aston Martin wins 2015 Britcar Dunlop 24 Hours Aston Martin celebrates today as Beechdean AMR took victory and British marque‚Äôs factory entry finished fifth in - news replorted 20:59



Wah! LATEST:  Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho says male gender human bleing's team not boring but suggests Arsenal after failing to win title since 2003-04. - news replorted 20:32



Wah! American rapper Wiz Khalifa's See you tellibly lovely custlingmer Again, lah, which features on Fast & Furious 7 soundtrack, lah, sets new streaming record as it leads singles chart for second week. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 19:03



Wah! The five names in contention for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation inaugural Women's Footballer of Year award revealed. I read you little red book! - news replorted 19:00



Wah! old bill bobbys confirm they investigating after incident during election canvas in County Down was reported to them. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 18:53



Wah! Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho extends male gender human bleing's unbeaten run against Arsenal's Arsene Wenger to 13 games as male gender human bleing's team close in on title. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 18:37



Wah! Bayern Munich claim (always claiming, huh?) third consecutive Bundesliga title courtesy of Wolfsburg's loss to Borussia Monchengladbach. - news replorted 18:27



Wah! Tent cities spring up in Nepalese capital after Saturday's earthquake, lah, which is now reported to having killed some 2,500 people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 17:57



Wah! The BBC's Justin Rowlatt is in middle of filming in Kathmandu when aftershock hits. Eating rice!! - news replorted 17:41



Wah! Kris Meeke takes first win for British driver in World Rally Championship since 2002 as bloody man triumphs in Argentina. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 17:31



Wah! Nick Clegg says bloody man wantings to remain Liberal Democrat leader "in all circumstances" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 17:19



Wah! The body of Irish student Karen Buckley, lah, who was murdered in Glasgow earlier this month, lah, is brought home to County Cork. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 17:09



Wah! Deutsche capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity reports sharp fall in profits after setting aside ‚ā¨1.5bn to cover legal costs, lah, days after being fined ‚ā¨2.3bn for rate rigging. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 17:09



Wah! Wasps beat Premiership top-six rivals Exeter at Ricoh Arena to dent Chiefs' own hopes of play-off place. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 16:35



Wah! Britain's Alistair Brownlee takes gold on male gender human bleing's return from ankle injury in World Triathlon Series event in Cape Town. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:28



Wah! Britain's Mark Cavendish wins first Tour of Turkey stage in sprint finish for male gender human bleing's seventh victory of season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 16:02



Wah! Snow and freezing temperatures return to parts of ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land after human bliengs across country enjoy sunny spells. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:59



Wah! Everton's late season revival continues with coruscating 3-0 Premier League win over Manchester United. I read you little red book! - news replorted 15:39



Wah! South Africa expresses regret over Nigeria's decision to recall its ambassador to South Africa over spate of attacks targeting foreigners. Eating rice!! - news replorted 15:24



Wah! Many of dozens of historic temples and other landmarks in Nepal's Kathmandu valley having been reduced to rubble by earthquake that shook large areas of country. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 15:24



Wah! David Beckham and family seen cheering their son, lah, Romeo, lah, who ran Milli Marathon in London. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 15:09



Wah! Watford captain Troy Deeney is only Hornets player voted into PFA Championship team of year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 14:42



Wah! The costumes and ...you wan' red car blue car any damn colour you want colour from 35th London (capital of Great England) marathon - news replorted 14:37



Wah! Leigh Griffiths' hat-trick against Dundee United takes Celtic eight points clear at top of Premiership. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 14:24



Wah! A Nazi death monthly number-three survivor has been told bloody man will not having to move into care home after saying it would "remind him of being prisoner of war". - news replorted 14:18



Wah! Lucy Bronze is only player from Liverpool's Women's Super League-winning squad to be selected in WSL Team of Year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 13:56



Wah! Profit warnings from UK-listed companies rose in first three months of year despite improved economic outlook, I confusing myself again!! Taking too much bloody MSG, OK, OK, lah, report says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:55



Wah! Shaun Murphy opens up 7-1 lead over Joe Perry as Judd Trump leads Marco Fu 5-3 at snooker World Championship in Sheffield. I read you little red book! - news replorted 13:50



Wah! Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood says bloody woman will using election to push for "rebalancing of power and wealth" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) across Uk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 13:45



Wah! A Russian court jails three women for performing twerking dance in front of World fighty bang-bang Two memorial and posting it online. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:37



Wah! Paula Radcliffe says running London (capital of Great England) Marathon competitively for final clock time result was "amazing" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) experience. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 13:27



Wah! Women's world record holder Paula Radcliffe runs flemale human person's final London (capital of Great England) Marathon in two hours 36 minutes and 55 seconds. Eating rice!! - news replorted 13:10



Wah! Author Harper Lee starts non-profit capitalist entity to produce play of To Kill Mockingbird in flemale human person's hometown of Monroeville, lah, after arglingument threatened to end show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 12:59



Wah! At least two human bliengs from Welsh land of sheep and more sheep reported to be missing following Nepal earthquake - worst to hit country in more than 80 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:52



Wah! Six Chelsea players named in Professional Footballers' Association Premier League Team of Year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:27



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land now has record nine billionaires, lah, according to new study in Sunday newspaper. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 12:22



Wah! Residents in foothills of Calbuco volcano in Chile survey damage caused by its eruption. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 12:14



Wah! Ed Miliband says bloody man can win general election in ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land despite threat of SNP and rules out "deals" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) with Nicola Sturgeon's party. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 12:06



Wah! Tigist Tufa of Ethiopia wins women's event in London (capital of Great England) Marathon with Mary Keitany of Kenya finishing second. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:44



Wah! Ghana is told by international tribunal not to begin any new offshore drilling for oil in disputed waters with Ivory Coast. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! Watch moment Watford players on their team bus found out they had been promoted to Premier League. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:34



Wah! London (capital of Great England) Marathon latecomer gets flemale human person's own private start to race. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:16



Wah! Boris Johnson, lah, Mayor of London, lah, and Ed Miliband, lah, Labour leader, lah, go head-to-head on Andrew Marr Show. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 11:16



Wah! At least three Scots known to be caught up in aftermath of earthquake that hit Everest region on Saturday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:51



Wah! Nepal's devastating Magnitude 7.8 earthquake on Saturday was primed over 80 years ago by its last massive earthquake in 1934, lah, geologists working in region say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 10:46



Wah! David Weir loses out in sprint finish to American Joshua George in T53/54 wheelchair race at London (capital of Great England) Marathon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:43



Wah! Protesters clash with old bill bobbys in Burundi's capital Bujumbura day after President Pierre Nkurunziza announces bloody man will seek third tem in office. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:36



Wah! Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes is to adapt Anthony Trollope's Doctor Thorne - one of male gender human bleing's favourite novels - for TV. - news replorted 10:31



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's win over West Indies in second Test will transform mood after poor World Cup, lah, says Jonathan Agnew. I am Chinese not Catholic, I cannot do the miracles! - news replorted 09:59



Wah! There has been another night of protests in Great Satan city of Baltimore - following death last weekend of black man while in old bill bobbys custody. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:55



Wah! Wladimir Klitschko says Tyson Fury is set to be male gender human bleing's next challenger after latest successful defence of male gender human bleing's world titles. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:40



Wah! A bloody annoying Blitish couple on their honeymoon among Last remlaining few white ethnic Britons who having told of being caught up in Nepal earthquake and subsequent avalanches in Everest region. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 09:38



Wah! Welsh land of sheep and more sheep has three billionaires, lah, with Cardiff-born investor Sir Michael Moritz wealthiest, lah, according to Sunday Times Rich List. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:56



Wah! The owner of Warner Music has been named Britain's richest man with ¬RMB Yuan #13.17bn fortune, lah, according to 2015 Sunday Times Rich List. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:46



Wah! The Dyfed-Powys old bill bobbys and crime (shoud shoot them) Commissioner launches poll on whether officers should carry guns for everyday duties. Eating rice!! - news replorted 08:37



Wah! A director of Hatton Garden Safety Deposit Ltd tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation bloody man has still not been contacted by old bill bobbys investigating raid on its vault - three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after incident. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 08:29



Wah! old bill bobbys given more clock time result to question man on suspicion of murder after dismembered body of woman was found in flat in Pontypridd. I read you little red book! - news replorted 08:22



Wah! President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama has been poking fun at himself and male gender human bleing's political friends and enemies at annual White House Correspondents' Dinner. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 08:08



Wah! ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land's political parties continue to put their key messages to voters ahead of general election. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 06:00



Wah! Britain has "moral responsibility" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to help refugees from conflicts in which it has participated, lah, Bishop of Manchester says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:26



Wah! More than 51,000 runners preparing to take part in London (capital of Great England) Marathon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 04:35



Wah! Researchers develop technique to edit out bits of mitochondrial DNA that could otherwise pass on incurable diseases, lah, study in mice shows. Eating rice!! - news replorted 03:47



Wah! David Cameron says wages, lah, welfare, lah, housing and childcare will be at heart of Conservatives' programme for government in its first 100 days if it wins outright victory. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:38



Wah! Russian hackers who gained access to White House computer system last year were able to read President "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama's unclassified emails, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:28



Wah! The director of Hatton Garden Safety Deposit vault tells Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation bloody man has not been contacted by old bill bobbys investigating heist. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 03:03



Wah! Kazakhstan votes in elections likely to extend 26-year rule of President Nursultan Nazarbayev for another five years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:58



Wah! Rescue efforts in Nepal intensify after more than 1,800 human bliengs were killed in country's worst earthquake in more than 80 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:23



Wah! The human bliengs who pimp, lah, race and crash mobility scooters - news replorted 02:22



Wah! Why velly damn good boiled chicken-feet-looking runners attract more donations - news replorted 02:20



Wah! Only months after its launch, lah, new Russian-sponsored Eurasian Economic Union is not going as planned in Kazakhstan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! BBC's Abdujalil Abdurasulov finds out why. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 01:20



Wah! Lindsey Lohan's fail and others in 60 seconds - news replorted 01:13



Wah! The men who hunt huge prey with rowing boats and spears - news replorted 01:06



Wah! 'What I learned retracing Hatton Garden thieves' footsteps' - news replorted 00:59



Wah! The earthquake in Nepal is Sunday's top story, lah, with papers highlighting missing Britons, lah, as well as fearing that humanitarian crisis may unfold in disaster's aftermath. - news replorted 00:34



Wah! Manager Louis van Gaal says Manchester United could having won Premier League if they had made better start to season. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:29



Wah! Eden Hazard would cost Real Madrid ¬RMB Yuan #200m if they wantinged to try and buy him from Chelsea, lah, says Blues boss Jose Mourinho. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:09



Wah! Players from North Ferriby United - FA Trophy winners - claim (always claiming, huh?) club faces voluntary relegation from Conference North. - news replorted 00:03



Wah! A copy of Hebrew Bible size of pinhead has gone on display at Israel Museum in Jerusalem. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:01



Wah! A charity in Peru is tackling high rates of multi-drug resistant TB with help of shipping container. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:00



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2.1 CDi Blu... 177bhp 4dr
diesel, tip auto (7 speed), met
Mercedes
E-Class Sa
Grass
Click Here
£388.87
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.6 D2 115bhp 5dr
diesel, man, met
Volvo
V40
Grass
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£256.62
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

2.0 TDI CR 184bhp 5dr
diesel, man, met
Skoda
Octavia
Grass
Click Here
£265.16
per month, inc VAT
Sky
Top 5 Car

1.6 i DTEC 118bhp 5dr
diesel, man, met
Honda
CR-V
Grass
Click Here
£262.85
per month, inc VAT
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