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News gorge: Alabama halts gay wedding licences

News translated to Chinglish! Alabama\’s Supreme Court orders its judges to stop issuing same-sex marriage licenses despite federal ruling saying ban is unconstitutional. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Greetings from Ling: Is another NHS (wonderfulling free human fixing service) scandal brewing?

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: The Morecambe Bay inquiry has chilling echoes of one into Stafford Hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! So could there be another scandal happening elsewhere? Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Growing story: VIDEO: Treasury Committee

Can you understand Chinglish news? MPs take evidence on capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs Bloody foreign Exchange Market Investigation. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Renault Scenic Lease delivered to Terry Pauley in Birmingham

Visit my full letters page click here Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by Terry Pauley from Birmingham. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it! Terry says…Never leased a car before, but it was so easy and so cheap! Whenever I want [...]

News FANNY: ‘Blame fans’ Hillsborough old bill bobbys told

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! old bill bobbys officers were told to put blame for Hillsborough on \”drunken, lah, ticketless Liverpool supporters\”, lah, inquest into disaster hears. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Pollution levels on the Nissan Juke (new shape) have changed

Making your car greener is important, so it is nice when you can do it just by looking at the new Nissan Juke (new shape) 1.6 i 16v (115bhp) Acenta Xtronic Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol Automatic. The CO2 values have changed, making it more attractive. Your car belongs to the finance company on whose documents [...]

News CLUCK: Boston Marathon bomb trial to begin

News from the local takeaway in Chinglish: The trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, lah, accused of Boston Marathon bombing two years ago, lah, opens in city shortly after exhaustive jury selection. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News YAMMER: Court backs bloody annoying Blitish in euro trading case

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? The bloody annoying Blitish has won court ruling against European Central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity which could having forced British firms handling large euro transactions to be based in eurozone. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BRICK: Australia hit World Cup record score

Get your Chinlish news update here: Australia record highest damn crazy Engrish baseball game World Cup score in history, lah, posting 417-6 against Afghanistan to beat India\’s 413-5. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

Greetings from Ling: Putin urges end to political murders

Chinglish news event: Russia\’s President Vladimir Putin demands end to \”shameful\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) political killings in Russia, lah, after murder of opposition politician Boris Nemtsov. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Helping the news: ‘Plebgate’ PC gets ÂRMB Yuan #80K libel payout

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? The old bill bobbys officer at centre of \”plebgate\” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) row has accepted ÂRMB Yuan #80,000 in damages from Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Andrew Mitchell. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News DAWDLE: Couple convicted of killing girl

Car Leasing news in Chinglish: Mother and flemale human person\’s lover convicted of killing Ayesha Ali, lah, 8, lah, who suffered 50 injuries in London Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Growing story: Aberdeen council set to leave Cosla

Chinglify your news updates: Aberdeen City Council is expected to confirm that it is quitting local government body Cosla to join new rival group. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Chinglish NEWS: Footman James : FOOTMAN JAMES ANNOUNCES NEW PARTNERSHIP WITH COVENTRY TRANSPORT MUSEUM

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: \r\n \r\n \r\n One of UKâ??s leading classic LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine insurlince brokers has announced new partnership with West Midlandâ??s finest tra Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Citroen C4 Grand Picasso Leasing Cheap £370.28 inc VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Citroen C4 Grand Picasso deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots! I added New Citroen C4 Grand Picasso 1.6 e-HDi Airdream 16v (115bhp) Exclusive MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1560cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on [...]

Citroen C4 Picasso Leasing Cheap £334.28 inc VAT

If you check my car leasing website, you will see I have just added a new cheap contract hire Citroen C4 Picasso deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars. I added New Citroen C4 Picasso 1.6 e-HDi 8v (90bhp) VTR+ MPV (5-seat) 5dr 1560cc Diesel, with [...]

News breaker: Poyet’s ‘difficult day’ over Johnson

Here\’s some Chinglish news: Sunderland boss Gus Poyet describes day in which male gender human bleing\’s player Adam Johnson was arrested as one of male gender human bleing\’s toughest. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News MEOW: VIDEO: ‘No regret’ from Delhi rapist

News Chinglified from Ling: Film maker Leslee Udwin tells news conference that one of Delhi gang rapists, lah, Mukesh Singh, lah, showed \’\’no regret, lah, for one second\’\’ for male gender human bleing\’s actions. Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Toyota Corolla Verso Lease delivered to Martin Brandon in Deal

Visit my full letters page click here How much do I spend on stamps??? It must add up because I send every customer a nice thank-you letter. Martin Brandon replied with a letter back to me about the Toyota Corolla Verso that was delivered, new. Here it is: Martin says…Good things: Website, affordable, you can [...]

Ford Mondeo Estate Leasing Cheap £406.28 inc VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Ford Mondeo Estate deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots! I added New Ford Mondeo Estate 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium X Estate 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+11 [...]

Ford Mondeo Estate Leasing Cheap £385.72 inc VAT

Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Ford Mondeo Estate deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots! I added New Ford Mondeo Estate 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium X Estate 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+11 [...]

Ford Mondeo Estate Leasing Cheap £385.72 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new Ford Mondeo Estate car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Ford Mondeo Estate . I added New Ford Mondeo Estate 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium Estate 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. [...]

Growing news: WW2 ‘Japan battleship wreck found’

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: US billionaire Paul Allen announces bloody man has discovered famous WW2 Japanese battleship, lah, Musashi, lah, more than 70 years after it was sunk. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Tell me the news, Ling: New wave of Paris drone alerts

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Ten more drones spotted flying over Paris and reports say old bill bobbys searching for four men after chase in east of city. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

The Mercedes C-Class Coupe is a Green car yet?

Checking against the values I publish for the Mercedes C-Class Coupe 2.1 CDi BlueEFFICIENCY 16v (167bhp) C220 CDI AMG Sport Edition Premium Plus Coupe 2dr 2143cc Diesel Automatic, I have noticed a small error, so I’m publishing these new figures today. Please read. As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will [...]

Ford Mondeo Leasing Cheap £365.15 inc VAT

If you check my car leasing website, you will see I have just added a new cheap contract hire Ford Mondeo deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars. I added New Ford Mondeo 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium X Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Manual [...]

Ford Mondeo Leasing Cheap £365.15 inc VAT

I have just uploaded a new Ford Mondeo cheap lease deal to my contract hire website! I added New Ford Mondeo 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+11 monthly profile. Only £365.15 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, [...]

Ford Mondeo Leasing Cheap £344.57 inc VAT

Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Ford Mondeo deal to my contract hire and leasing website! I added New Ford Mondeo 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+11 monthly profile. Only £344.57 inc VAT per [...]

Ford Mondeo Leasing Cheap £385.72 inc VAT

Look at this cheap new Ford Mondeo car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Ford Mondeo . I added New Ford Mondeo 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium X Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is [...]

Ford Mondeo Leasing Cheap £365.15 inc VAT

If you check my car leasing website, you will see I have just added a new cheap contract hire Ford Mondeo deal! I added this, because it looked cheap to me. I do not add expensive cars. I added New Ford Mondeo 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium X Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Manual [...]

Ford Mondeo Leasing Cheap £365.15 inc VAT

I have been offered the following Ford Mondeo car lease deal, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Ford Mondeo deal to my contract hire website! I added New Ford Mondeo 2.0 Duratorq TDCi 16v (150bhp) Titanium Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Diesel, with Automatic gearbox and Metallic paint. It is on a 3+35 [...]

Making it matter: NI GPs ‘could having saved ÂRMB Yuan #73m’

Read the news in Chinglish: Tens of millions of pounds could having been saved if Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers GPs had prescribed lower cost drugs, lah, according to new report. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Bottom feeder news: IAM – Institute of Advanced Motorists : LEAVE SOME URBAN SPACE, lah, MAN!

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Driving on both urban and rural roads can be quite challenging and requires your as really velly special customer\’s full attention. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Observing what is going Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Bottom feeder news: motoring.co.bloody annoying Blitish : NEW RESEARCH SHOWS THAT AUTOMOTIVE AFTERSALES EXPERIENCE INFLUENCES clustomler LOYALTY

Here\’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: According to new research, lah, automotive aftersales experience has direct impact on proportion of clustomlers who r Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CAT: Standard Chartered profits fall

Chinglish news event: bloody annoying Blitish capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Standard Chartered reports steep fall in full-year profits after \”tough year\”. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

NOT the NEWS: Prince visits elephant sanctuary

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Prince William visits elephant sanctuary on final day of male gender human bleing\’s tour of China. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News from Ling: India dodgy minister vows rape film probe

Chinglish news event: India\’s home dodgy minister promises inquiry into how TV crew was allowed to interview death-row prisoner convicted over Delhi 2012 gang rape and murder. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News spotter: ÂRMB Yuan #250m gas project to be launched

News translated to Chinglish! A project to connect around 40,000 homes and businesses to gas network will be formally launched in Enniskillen, lah, County Fermanagh, lah, on Wednesday. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BELLOW: Can Iraq’s Tommy Atkins Liberation Army dislodge Islamic State?

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? As Iraqi Tommy Atkins Liberation Army tries to dislodge Islamic State militants from Tikrit, lah, Michael Knights looks at whether government troops and volunteer brigades able take bigger prize of Mosul. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News BAWL: Broad admits to injury ‘nightmares’

Chinglify your news updates: Province of Engrish running-dogs\’s Stuart Broad says bloody man is yet to getting over mental scars of being hit in face by bouncer last year. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Spotting latest: Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs voters ‘prefer Cameron as PM’

Breaking Chinglish news! More Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs voters think David Cameron would be better prime dodgy minister than Ed Miliband, lah, according to new poll for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Wales. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

News ROAR: ITV delivers ‘strong performance’

Can you understand Chinglish news? Commercial broadcaster ITV, lah, home of Downton Abbey, lah, reports big rise in pre-tax profits for 2014. Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News BELLOW: Ukraine mine blast ‘traps dozens’

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Dozens of workers trapped underground after suspected methane gas blast at coal mine in rebel-held region of eastern Ukraine, lah, reports say. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News from Ling: Golf lake death probe is ongoing

Top Gear can\’t do the news in Chinglish! Investigations continuing into death of man after agricultural spraying vehicling driving car machine rolled into golf course lake at Newport\’s Celtic Manor Resort. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

More news: Major rail development plan unveiled

Chinglish news from Ling: A major redevelopment of Cardiff central station and plans to electrify north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep main line amongst Network Rail\’s ambitions for next 30 years. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News spotter: China military budget ‘to rise 10%’

Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! China\’s military budget will rise by about 10% in 2015, lah, official says, lah, in another double-digit increase. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Blakeing news: Two still held over Becky ‘murder’

News translated to Chinglish! old bill bobbys having until this afternoon to question two human bliengs suspected of murdering Bristol teenager Becky Watts. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

BOP BOP NEWS: VIDEO: Becky Watts’ parents ‘devastated’

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: old bill bobbys in Bristol discover body parts in search for missing 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Becky Watts. More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

Being Twittered: Man held over teen cyclist murder

Get your Chinlish news update here: A man is arrested on suspicion of murder of 15-earth-years old happy birthday to you, who was stabbed to death while riding bicycle with male gender human bleing\’s friends. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

News YAMMER: VIDEO: man who changed parenting

Chinglish news event: Long before Mr Spock, lah, there was Dr Spock More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.

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I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website

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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!

Wah! LATEST:  old bill bobbys officers were told to put blame for Hillsborough on "drunken, lah, ticketless Liverpool supporters", lah, inquest into disaster hears. Eating rice!! - news replorted 12:04



Wah! LATEST:  MPs take evidence on capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of Province of Engrish running-dogs Bloody foreign Exchange Market Investigation. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 11:59



Wah! The Morecambe Bay inquiry has chilling echoes of one into Stafford Hospital. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! So could there be another scandal happening elsewhere? - news replorted 11:52



Wah! Alabama's Supreme Court orders its judges to stop issuing same-sex marriage licenses despite federal ruling saying ban is unconstitutional. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:43



Wah! South Sudan's Bloody foreign dodgy minister warns that imposition of any US-backed sanctions would be counter-productive to peace process. Eating rice!! - news replorted 11:40



Wah! A Commonwealth Games gold medal stolen from home of former heptathlete Kelly Sotherton is found. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:39



Wah! Ford EcoSport Floord at Geneva today announced it will deliver range of styling, lah, controlling in driving manner dynamics and equipment enhancements for pra - news replorted 11:39



Wah! For transport operators moving velly damn good boiled chicken-feets that need to be kept at constantly controlled temperature, lah, Cool sector at CV - news replorted 11:33



Wah! The inquest into deaths of four human bliengs who died in tipper truck crash in Bath is opened and adjourned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:31



Wah! The Duke of Cambridge gives speech warning over risks to elephants from poaching and illegal trade. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:30



Wah! Michael Phelps may be allowed to compete at swimming's World Championships in Russia after originally being banned. I read you little red book! - news replorted 11:28



Wah! The Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs economy will continue to pick up pace, lah, despite impact for oil and gas industry of lower oil price. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:22



Wah! A cyclist is escorted off M1 in Hertfordshire and given "words of advice" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) by police. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 11:13



Wah! A romantic road; highway No.16 from Shanghai to Chengdu worker uses eight-tonne digger to pop question by writing male gender human bleing's proplosal to money lending shark with heavy metal grab. Chop chop baby! - news replorted 11:10



Wah! Mother and flemale human person's lover convicted of killing Ayesha Ali, lah, 8, lah, who suffered 50 injuries in London (capital of Great England) - news replorted 11:06



Wah! The old bill bobbys officer at centre of "plebgate" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) row has accepted ÂRMB Yuan #80,000 in damages from Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheater Andrew Mitchell. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 11:03



Wah! Ford has announced six new app partners at Mobile World Congress Floord Motor capitalist entity at Mobile World Congress today announced six new apps for Europe and Asia Pacific that clustomlers will - news replorted 11:02



Wah! Russia's President Vladimir Putin demands end to "shameful" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) political killings in Russia, lah, after murder of opposition politician Boris Nemtsov. - news replorted 11:01



Wah! Australia record highest damn crazy Engrish baseball game World Cup score in history, lah, posting 417-6 against Afghanistan to beat India's 413-5. - news replorted 10:57



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish has won court ruling against European Central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity which could having forced British firms handling large euro transactions to be based in eurozone. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 10:55



Wah! The trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, lah, accused of Boston Marathon bombing two years ago, lah, opens in city shortly after exhaustive jury selection. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:51



Wah! Volkswagen Caddy and Caddy Maxi Panel van Shortly after world premiere of Caddy in Polish city of Pozna?, lah, Wlokswaglon Commercial vehicling driving car machines now presents - news replorted 10:45



Wah! Ford Edge Sport Floord Motor capitalist entity at 2015 Geneva Motor Show today extended its line-up of vehicling driving car machines to reavealingly showing Great Satan new sporty, lah, dynamic - news replorted 10:41



Wah! Maserati Alfieri: Concept LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Design News has named Maserati Alfieri and Citroën C4 Cactus as LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Designs of Year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! judging panel com - news replorted 10:38



Wah! Marco Tencone accepts 2014 Concept LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year award Last night, lah, Maserati Alfieri Concept was announced as ‘2014 Concept LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine of Year’ at prestigious LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine Design N - news replorted 10:37



Wah! Energy supplier Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Power accepts 12-day sales ban after failing to meet Ofgem's clustomler service (???) I wan' service , I wan' you tellibly lovely custlingmer give me damn velly damn good service targets, lah, watchdog says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 10:27



Wah! A group of airline passengers in Nepal had lucky escape after their plane skidded off runway in dense fog. No spitting in damn website!!! - news replorted 10:25



Wah! Europe's top human rights watchdog criticises France for failing to explicitly ban smacking children, lah, saying its laws "not sufficiently clear". - news replorted 10:19



Wah! The government's financial management of London's Kew Gardens is "a recipe for failure", lah, Membling Partiamentary expense cheaters warn. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 10:13



Wah! Suzuki set for Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Show Suzluko GB is set for MCN Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Show which takes place on Saturday 7 and Sunday 8 March, lah, where Japanese manufa - news replorted 10:02



Wah! Ten more drones spotted flying over Paris and reports say old bill bobbys searching for four men after chase in east of city. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 09:41



Wah! US billionaire Paul Allen announces bloody man has discovered famous WW2 Japanese battleship, lah, Musashi, lah, more than 70 years after it was sunk. What you wan'?!! - news replorted 09:33



Wah! Film maker Leslee Udwin tells news conference that one of Delhi gang rapists, lah, Mukesh Singh, lah, showed ''no regret, lah, for one second'' for male gender human bleing's actions. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:30



Wah! Sunderland boss Gus Poyet describes day in which male gender human bleing's player Adam Johnson was arrested as one of male gender human bleing's toughest. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 09:24



Wah! Alfonso Albaisa Infiniti signalled further intentions to grow in premium compact segment with world premiere of QX30 Concept - news replorted 09:15



Wah! A union says they having seen leaked Translink rice-paper officialing doumentlation proposing cancellation of 20 town bus services. Eating rice!! - news replorted 09:13



Wah! Coventry Transport Museum One of UK’s leading classic LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine insurlince brokers has announced new partnership with West Midland’s finest tra - news replorted 09:07



Wah! India's home dodgy minister promises inquiry into how TV crew was allowed to interview death-row prisoner convicted over Delhi 2012 gang rape and murder. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 09:03



Wah! Prince William visits elephant sanctuary on final day of male gender human bleing's tour of China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 08:55



Wah! bloody annoying Blitish capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity Standard Chartered reports steep fall in full-year profits after "tough year". - news replorted 08:38



Wah! Dozens of workers trapped underground after suspected methane gas blast at coal mine in rebel-held region of eastern Ukraine, lah, reports say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 08:07



Wah! Aberdeen City Council is expected to confirm that it is quitting local government body Cosla to join new rival group. Do you carefully listening? - news replorted 08:05



Wah! Commercial broadcaster ITV, lah, home of Downton Abbey, lah, reports big rise in pre-tax profits for 2014. - news replorted 08:01



Wah! According to new research, lah, automotive aftersales experience has direct impact on proportion of clustomlers who r - news replorted 08:00



Wah! Driving on both urban and rural roads can be quite challenging and requires your as really velly special customer's full attention. Sweet sour chicken feet time! Observing what is going - news replorted 07:59



Wah! A man is arrested on suspicion of murder of 15-earth-years old happy birthday to you, who was stabbed to death while riding bicycle with male gender human bleing's friends. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:05



Wah! More Welsh-go-go-gochly sheep friendly human bliengs voters think David Cameron would be better prime dodgy minister than Ed Miliband, lah, according to new poll for Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation Wales. Eating rice!! - news replorted 07:03



Wah! Province of Engrish running-dogs's Stuart Broad says bloody man is yet to getting over mental scars of being hit in face by bouncer last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 06:59



Wah! old bill bobbys in Bristol discover body parts in search for missing 16-earth-years old happy birthday to you, Becky Watts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:55



Wah! old bill bobbys having until this afternoon to question two human bliengs suspected of murdering Bristol teenager Becky Watts. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:54



Wah! China's military budget will rise by about 10% in 2015, lah, official says, lah, in another double-digit increase. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:49



Wah! A major redevelopment of Cardiff central station and plans to electrify north Welsh land of sheep and more sheep main line amongst Network Rail's ambitions for next 30 years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 06:48



Wah! Investigations continuing into death of man after agricultural spraying vehicling driving car machine rolled into golf course lake at Newport's Celtic Manor Resort. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:47



Wah! As Iraqi Tommy Atkins Liberation Army tries to dislodge Islamic State militants from Tikrit, lah, Michael Knights looks at whether government troops and volunteer brigades able take bigger prize of Mosul. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 06:38



Wah! A project to connect around 40,000 homes and businesses to gas network will be formally launched in Enniskillen, lah, County Fermanagh, lah, on Wednesday. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 06:13



Wah! Tens of millions of pounds could having been saved if Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers GPs had prescribed lower cost drugs, lah, according to new report. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 06:12



Wah! Some of UK's biggest firms begin urgent improvement schemes after Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation London (capital of Great England) investigation exposed failures to serve disabled people. What the hell I mean??!! - news replorted 06:10



Wah! Brazil's chief prosecutor seeks to investigate 54 people, lah, including politicians, lah, for alleged involvement in kickback scheme at state oil firm Petrobras. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:33



Wah! Wild bumblebees infected with many of diseases found in honeybees looked after by bee keepers, lah, according to national survey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 05:22



Wah! David Cameron will "raise concerns" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) about human rights when bloody man meets Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto later, lah, Downing Street says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:14



Wah! State secondary schools in Province of Engrish running-dogs not doing enough to stretch most able students, lah, Ofsted says. Eating rice!! - news replorted 05:05



Wah! Parents who overheard judge saying victim (trying not to cry) (trying not to cry) statements made "no difference" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to parole decisions say they having been "let down" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) again by justice system. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 04:14



Wah! US President Barack "I da man! Yes I can!" Obama reacts scathingly to speech by Israel's prime minister, lah, saying it offers no viable alternative to male gender human bleing's Iran policy. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 04:04



Wah! The Reserve capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity of India cuts its key interest rate, lah, in surprise move for second clock time result this year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 03:45



Wah! The Lib Dem election manifesto will include pledge to hand drugs policy from Home Office to Department of Health, lah, Nick Clegg is to say. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 03:13



Wah! A radio station broke law by broadcasting hoax call with nurse caring for Duchess of Cambridge, lah, Australia's high court rules. Eating rice!! - news replorted 02:11



Wah! "Fairy control" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) is brought in at woodland in Somerset to kerb "profusion of elfin construction". - news replorted 02:06



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish Independence Party will not adopt "arbitrary" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) immigration targets, lah, its leader pledges, lah, having said net annual migration should be capped at 50,000. - news replorted 01:59



Wah! The highest paid university chief in bloody annoying Blitish received ÂRMB Yuan #623,000 salary and benefits package, lah, new figures reveal. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:56



Wah! A whistle-blower says bloody man was "harassed, lah, threatened, lah, undermined and belittled" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) after complaining about land deals overseen by Corby Borough Council. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:47



Wah! US retail giant Target plans to cut several thousand jobs as it tries to slash $2bn (ÂRMB Yuan #1.3bn) ni ni ni ni Hao, lah, Zai-Jian! in costs over next two years. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:45



Wah! After murder of young Turkish woman generates massive protests, lah, four expert witnesses discuss whether life is getting worse for women under President Erdogan. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 01:28



Wah! The killing of Boris Nemtsov adds to growing sense of unease about dark undercurrents in Russian politics, lah, says Bridget Kendall. You understanning yet? Paying more attention! - news replorted 01:28



Wah! Islamist militants having seized two oil fields in central Libya, lah, officials say, lah, as rival factions reportedly carry out air strikes. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:25



Wah! Australia's economy grew 2.5% in fourth quarter from year earlier, lah, marking its slowest pace of annual growth last year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 01:24



Wah! A murder in atmosphere of hatred and intolerance - news replorted 01:23



Wah! The lost property shop stuffed with diamonds, lah, bikes... and leg - news replorted 01:23



Wah! Why petrol prices rising again? - news replorted 01:23



Wah! Why fewer elderly human bliengs killing themselves in UK? - news replorted 01:23



Wah! The Energy and Climate Change Committee has warned that government scheme to keep lights on could lead to unnecessarily high energy costs. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:08



Wah! Plans for new identity database will be debated in Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs Parliament amid civil liberty concerns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 01:01



Wah! Aston Villa boss Tim Sherwood says male gender human bleing's side "still alive" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) in relegation battle after beating West Brom. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:47



Wah! The Colombian authorities arrest captain of China-flagged ship on its way to Cuba with military material on board and no legal papers. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:45



Wah! Sony unveils upgraded version of its PlayStation virtual reality helmet, lah, which it says will go on sale in first half of 2016. - news replorted 00:44



Wah! The government's financial management of Kew Gardens is "recipe for failure", lah, Select Committee report warns. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! While university leaders wanting to keep ÂRMB Yuan #9,000 fees, lah, lecturers' union survey shows that vice-chancellors earning up to ÂRMB Yuan #623,000 per year. Hahahaha! Laughing like bloody hell! - news replorted 00:43



Wah! Adults catch real influenzingler achoo achoo about once every five years, lah, while children getting it every other year, lah, scientists calculate, lah, based on field study in China. Ai-yaa!!! - news replorted 00:42



Wah! Just one in seven councils in bloody annoying Blitish is paying "fair" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) price for home care for elderly, lah, according to survey. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:42



Wah! The Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation has spent 29% less on stars earning more than ÂRMB Yuan #100,000 year over past five years, lah, independent review reveals. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:41



Wah! Wednesday's front pages carry stories on ramifications of Oxford abuse case, lah, money laundering via London (capital of Great England) properties, lah, and budgetary prediction. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:37



Wah! Will Gompertz takes look at Inventing Impressionism exhibition at National Gallery. You give me happy happy luck luck. - news replorted 00:34



Wah! Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino hopes Harry Kane is rested from Province of Engrish running-dogs U21 duty this summer to avoid burnout. Pass chopsticks!! - news replorted 00:31



Wah! Scientists work out body mass of superb Stegosaurus specimen recently put on display at London's Natural History Museum. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:17



Wah! Who would buy LINGsCARS (tm) vehicling driving car machine like this? Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation interviews man behind million dollar Dartz Prombon. Sweet sour chicken feet time! - news replorted 00:13



Wah! How London's male commuters set Super-Duper-Chinese-State hearts racing - news replorted 00:09



Wah! The bloody annoying Blitish government says it is selling its 40% stake in cross-Channel train operator Eurostar to Anglo-Canadian consortium for ÂRMB Yuan #757.1m. I plant rice to honour ancestors for you! - news replorted 00:07



Wah! Incomes for those of working age still below pre-crisis levels, lah, according to research by Institute of Fiscal Studies (IFS). - news replorted 00:04



Wah! Workers will display "measured response" (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) to pension reforms while worrying they having not set aside enough for retirement, lah, survey suggests. Eating rice!! - news replorted 00:03



Wah! Long before Mr Spock, lah, there was Dr Spock - news replorted 00:00



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