NEWS ACCIDENT: In pictures
Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! Fashion royalty meet Queen at Buckingham Palace
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
NEWS not NOSE: old bill bobbys deployed for Iran festival
Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Iranians celebrate ancient festival despite deployment of extra old bill bobbys to discourage anti-government protests.
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News CAT: Unite in Great Satan talks over BA strike
Read the news in Chinglish: British Airways union Unite will meet with its Great Satan counterpart Teamsters to discuss impending strike by cabin crew.
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News NIPPLE: Commons Speaker clashes with MP
Latest news in Chinglish: A Conservative Membling Partiamentary expense cheater clashes with Commons Speaker John Bercow after being rebuked for “untoward” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) behaviour.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
LingNews: Chelsea 0-1 Inter Milan (agg 1-3)
Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Jose Mourinho makes winning return to Stamford Bridge as Inter Milan knock Chelsea out of Champions League.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
What is new(S): Wigan 1-2 Aston Villa
Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! James Milner underlines male gender human bleing’s potential as possible World Cup starter for Province of Engrish running-dogs with winner as Aston Villa reignite their top-four push at Wigan.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Making it matter: Broadband plan sent to Congress
Latest news in Chinglish: US regulators send national broadband plan to Congress in bid to lead world in provision of super-fast internet.
Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!
Getting noticed: Stephanomics
Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! The shrinking gap between Tory and Labour deficit plans
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News and more: Executive calls in PSNI over site
News translated to Chinglish! The Housing Executive calls in old bill bobbys to investigate its role in controversial development site in north Belfast. Pass chopsticks!!
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News bleat: Clinton affirms Great Satan Israel support
Jeremy Clarkson fails Chinglish newsreader test: US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton denies US-Israel relations in crisis amid row over Jerusalem settlements.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
News CAT: Call for child protection inquiry
Here’s some Chinglish news: Concern about child protection service, lah, including claim (always claiming, huh?) referrals were “binned”, lah, leads to calls for inquiry.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
Vauxhall Zafira Lease delivered to David Ayris in Chelmsford
Visit my full letters page click here
Getting letters in the post is really nice. It makes a lovely change from getting email. This one was sent by David Ayris from Chelmsford. Amazingly, the postman didn’t steal it!
David says…A pleasure doing business with you – quite a rarity these days. A totally smooth operation from initial [...]
Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £205.61 inc VAT
Woo-hoo! I have just uploaded a new lease Vauxhall Corsa deal to my car leasing and contract hire website! This is damn cheap, filling your boots!
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.3 CDTi 16v (73bhp) ecoFLEX Energy Hatchback 3dr 1248cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £205.61 inc [...]
Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £205.61 inc VAT
Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Vauxhall Corsa deal to my contract hire and leasing website!
I added New Vauxhall Corsa 1.3 CDTi 16v (73bhp) ecoFLEX Energy Hatchback 3dr 1248cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £205.61 inc VAT per month with [...]
News swallow: Tories step up “Dear Leader” Brown union attack
Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: The Conservatives step up attacks on Gordon “Dear Leader” Brown over male gender human bleing’s links with political director of union behind BA strike. What the hell I mean??!!
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News STOOL: Binocular lands Champion Hurdle
Chinglish news from Ling: Binocular, lah, ridden by Tony McCoy, lah, wins Champion Hurdle on opening day of Cheltenham Festival.
Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!
News from Ling: All-dog insurlince plan ruled out
Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: The government rules out forcing all dog owners to insure against their pet attacking human bliengs – week after suggesting idea.
Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News spotter: Oxford chief calls for fees rise
James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: The “preposterous” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) limit on tuition fees should be scrapped, lah, says Oxford University chancellor Lord Patten.
Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!
News PUNISH: Honda recalls 410,000 cars in US
News translated to Chinglish! Japanese LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine manufacturer Rondla has announced it is recalling 410,000 cars in Great Satan because of complaints about their brakes. Eating rice!!
Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News CLACK: Winfrey to defend defamation case
Breaking Chinglish news! Oprah Winfrey must defend case filed against flemale human person’s by former headmistress of flemale human person’s girls’ school in South Africa, lah, judge rules.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News CHEW: Stars prepare for top TV awards
Chinglish news from the Chinese car leasing expert, Ling! Harry Hill, lah, Ant and Dec and Michael McIntyre will battle it out for top prize at Royal Television Society Awards later.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
Saab 9-3 Sportwagon Lease delivered to Peter Dews in Butlers Marston
Visit my full letters page click here
Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Peter Dews, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Saab 9-3 Sportwagon.
Peter says…“The whole process from car selection to delivery of my [...]
New VCA data on the Kia Sportage
I am Ling and my Kia Sportage 2.0 CRDi (138bhp) XE 2WD Station Wagon 5dr 1991cc Diesel Manual has a new CO2 value today. So I post it here in my blog. I always update very fast. Can anyone name another website that can do this stuff as fast as me?
This is very [...]
News YAMMER: Deadly bomb attacks in Iraqi town
Gotta laugh at this news – in Chinglish! Eight human bliengs having been killed and 11 hurtee-hurtee by two bombs in central Iraqi town of Musayyab, lah, old bill bobbys say. You give me happy happy luck luck.
Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com
News FANNY: bloody annoying Blitish ambassador protests over TV hoax footage of him
News translated to Chinglish! The UK’s ambassador to Georgia complains about footage of him used in TV hoax about Russian invasion.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
News BARK: Pope confirms 2010 bloody annoying Blitish visit dates
Chinglish news event: Pope Benedict XVI will visit bloody annoying Blitish in September, lah, in first papal visit to country since that of John Paul II in 1982.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch Lease delivered to Paul Murphy in Hull
Visit my full letters page click here
Inbetween all my bills and bank statements, I receive customer letters. Here one I pulled out to read from Paul Murphy, but I actually got it a while ago. It is about the delivery of their Vauxhall Astra Sport Hatch.
Paul says…Hi Ling, had the car a few weeks now [...]
Emission figures on the Honda Jazz
The impact of CO2 is important. I always compare my figures with the Government data, so when it changes, like on this Honda Jazz Petrol Manual, I note it here in my blog.
As a bonus to add to your lower motoring costs, you will get every subsequent year’s road tax sent to you free [...]
Nissan Qashqai Leasing Cheap £340.74 inc VAT
Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Nissan Qashqai .
I added New Nissan Qashqai 2.0 (139bhp) Acenta 2WD Hatchback 5dr 1997cc Petrol, with Automatic gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly [...]
Nissan Qashqai Leasing Cheap £287.86 inc VAT
I have been offered the following lease car deal, so here it is! I have just uploaded a new Nissan Qashqai deal to my contract hire website!
I added New Nissan Qashqai 1.5 dCi (104bhp) Acenta 2WD Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £287.86 [...]
Nissan Qashqai Leasing Cheap £279.64 inc VAT
Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Nissan Qashqai deal to my contract hire and leasing website!
I added New Nissan Qashqai 1.6 i 16v (113bhp) N-Tec 2WD Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £279.64 inc VAT per month with [...]
Nissan Qashqai Leasing Cheap £272.59 inc VAT
Hey, dudes!!! Pay attention! I have just uploaded a new car lease Nissan Qashqai deal to my contract hire and leasing website!
I added New Nissan Qashqai 1.5 dCi (104bhp) Visia 2WD Hatchback 5dr 1461cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £272.59 inc VAT per month with 3 [...]
Nissan Qashqai Leasing Cheap £262.01 inc VAT
Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Nissan Qashqai .
I added New Nissan Qashqai 1.6 16v (113bhp) Acenta 2WD Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. [...]
Nissan Qashqai Leasing Cheap £240.86 inc VAT
Look at this cheap new car leasing deal I have uploaded to my contract hire website about 2 minutes ago! I have just uploaded a new Nissan Qashqai .
I added New Nissan Qashqai 1.6 16v (113bhp) Visia 2WD Hatchback 5dr 1598cc Petrol, with Manual gearbox and Non-metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. [...]
News PUNISH: Fines threat over tram deadline
Richard Hammond translates the news into Chinglish: Developers set new deadline of June-mber month 2012 for firm building Edinburgh’s tram line before penalties imposed.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
Blakeing news: Forensic role for hand bacteria
Latest news in Chinglish: The bacteria on our hands could be used in forensic identification, lah, in same way as fingerprints and DNA, lah, say scientists. Eating rice!!
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
Citroen Xsara Picasso Lease delivered to Peter Boyes in Driffield
Visit my full letters page click here
Many customer letters contain really funny stuff. It’s unusual to receive a very dry one. However, I publish them all. Here is a letter from Peter Boyes. It was sent to me quite a while ago!
Peter says…Ling:- we love her. She’s a very witty Chinese lady, exceptionally efficient at [...]
Comparative label for the Toyota IQ
CO2 affects fuel consumption directly. Less CO2 means less fuel burnt. So, I’m reporting this change on the Toyota IQ Petrol Manual. Have a look at the new figures.
Local franchised dealer will sort out any warranty problems for free, but on most contracts (except VW group) any VAT registered garage can service car very [...]
News inhale: old bill bobbys quizzed over abuse deaths
News translated to Chinglish! Ten old bill bobbys officers under investigation over mother and daughter found dead in burned out LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine after years of abuse.
Grab loads of news headlines at LINGsCARS!
Renault Grand Scenic Leasing Cheap £252.61 inc VAT
I have just uploaded a new Renault Grand Scenic cheap lease deal to my contract hire website!
I added Pre-Reg Renault Grand Scenic 1.5 dCi 8v (103bhp) Expression MPV (7-seat) 5dr 1461cc Diesel, with Manual gearbox and Metallic paint.
It is on a 3+35 monthly profile. Only £252.61 inc VAT per month with 3 months initial payment, [...]
Citroen C-crosser Lease delivered to Stephen Kealey in Cheshire
Visit my full letters page click here
My letters webpage must be just about the longest on the internet! Currently, there are 1497 letters on my website. Letters are great, as they are like a window on my customers’ happiness. My good customer Stephen Kealey wrote this one:
Stephen says…Great service. Delivery on time on price and [...]
News hoover: Omagh bomb new inquiry call
Latest story in Chinglish, folks: A report says new investigation must be set up to examine whether state withheld vital intelligence from detectives hunting Omagh bombers.
Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Lower CO2 on my Toyota IQ
Fuel is a fortune these days, so when the Toyota IQ 1.0 VVT-i (68bhp) Hatchback 3dr 996cc Petrol Manual has slightly changed figures, I always blog about it, because my customers say they care.
Sometimes you must resign yourself to fact that dealer will look after a retail customer first. Your delivery might be [...]
News whack: Europe dodgy ministers agree Greek plan
Chinglify your news updates: European finance you tellibly lovely custlingmer wan’ borrow many Yuan dodgy ministers say they having agreed how they would help Greece in its financial crisis, lah, but reavealingly showing Great Satan few details.
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
News SCOFF: FA may investigate Gerrard clash
Chinglish news event: Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard may face disciplinary action by silly kick-kick game Association after appearing to hit Portsmouth’s Michael “Dear Leader” Brown in 4-1 win over south-coast side.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
News BAWL: Paper review
Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Focus returns to economy amid deficit warnings
Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!
Growing story: Province of Engrish running-dogs labour to Chittagong win
Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! Province of Engrish running-dogs win first Test against Bangladesh by 181 runs in Chittagong after spirited display by hosts on tense final day.
More news headlines than all the tea in China at LINGsCARS.
Being Twittered: Palestinians in Jerusalem clashes
Can you understand Chinglish news? Palestinians clash with Israeli old bill bobbys in East Jerusalem amid tension over settlements and reopened synagogue.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
Blakeing news: Gunfire near Indian space office
Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! There has been exchange of gunfire between security forces and two human bliengs near Indian space agency in Bangalore.
50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!
News inhale: Kidnapped Sahil found in Pakistan
Chinglish news event: The five-earth-years old happy birthday to you, British boy kidnapped in Pakistan has been found safe and well, lah, British High Commissioner says.
Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!
Recent Posts
- NEWS ACCIDENT: In pictures
- NEWS not NOSE: old bill bobbys deployed for Iran festival
- News CAT: Unite in Great Satan talks over BA strike
- News NIPPLE: Commons Speaker clashes with MP
- LingNews: Chelsea 0-1 Inter Milan (agg 1-3)
- What is new(S): Wigan 1-2 Aston Villa
- Making it matter: Broadband plan sent to Congress
- Getting noticed: Stephanomics
- News bleat: Clinton affirms Great Satan Israel support
- News and more: Executive calls in PSNI over site
- News CAT: Call for child protection inquiry
- Vauxhall Zafira Lease delivered to David Ayris in Chelmsford
- Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £205.61 inc VAT
- Vauxhall Corsa Leasing Cheap £205.61 inc VAT
- News STOOL: Binocular lands Champion Hurdle
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About
I am Ling Valentine as seen on Dragons' Den I lease cheap cars in the UK!. Have a look at my Cheap car leasing website
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MINI BLOG |
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NO FM CAR RADIO IN 2015
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Posted: 04/03/10
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Listening to the radio in our cars is something we all take for granted. Every car these days comes with a good quality radio, and... READ MORE
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I am GAY ICON! WoW!
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Posted: 04/02/10
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How amazing! I have my first Civil Partnership couple, both applying a car EACH! That was two weeks ago; the sensible one has alre... READ MORE
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 I am the Viz UK business ambassador! Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum! |
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Are you a complete mentalist? ...get a Can Am Spyder! Ferrari eater! 0-60 in 4 secs Can Am Quads too! Would suit my customers! LUNATIC FUN! - Ling |
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 £12,929 OTR visit Spyder site 3-wheels, 1000cc V-Twin, 4 brains |
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PLAY: Hang a Car Dealer! CLICK HERE! |
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 ...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling |
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| Rude Radio! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL! | |
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| Mercedes GL Class! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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| So many customers recommend so I pass on details of this cheap contract hire car insurance company... for all visitors! - Ling | ||
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I now lease HARLEY-DAVIDSON superbikes! Motorbike leasing from just £127/mth for a Harley Sportster! |
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Read my customer letters! Choose a CAR TYPE and read letters from customers who have rented this type from me! | |
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Every car gets FULL road tax for the whole contract term. This saves you up to £165 per year, or £495 on a 3-year contract! | |
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| Mercedes GL Class! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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Every brand new car has breakdown cover. This means no roadside repair bills for your contract hire car! | |
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JUST FOR FUN! I research and publish a full Chinese Car Guide. Full facts and figures! Interesting reading. Hope you enjoy! - Ling |
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| Ford Ka & a cat! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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For updates and comments, plus my opinions, new car feed, interesting stuff, latest deals, and me... click here. - Ling |
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Ling's mantra. Power and cars to the people in the struggle against Tony Blair, petrol prices and repression! Click for statement. | |
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| Citroen 2CV dance! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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GET A QUOTE! Can't find a car? Want extras? Please don't ring with quote requests! I'm damn busy! Click QUOTE! - Ling |
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GORDON BROWN'S FUEL COST! See how much you spend on fuel while you rent a car from me. Every car listed! No one else shows you this! -Ling | |
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| Pimp my VW Golf! | ||
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Funny car leasing TV ads! |
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Complete a proposal form here. Fill in the details online or paper, with no commitment, and your new car is one step closer! | |
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EXTRA CHEAP CARS HERE See 30 cheapest cars! |
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 PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS! |
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Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL! | |
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| Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling | ||
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Ling's mantra. Power and cars to the people in the struggle against Tony Blair, petrol prices and repression! Click for statement. | |
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All my contract hire cars come with the FULL manufacturer's warranty. So you'll have no repair bills! | |
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 Get my latest EMAIL car updates! |
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Every brand new car has breakdown cover. This means no roadside repair bills for your contract hire car! | |
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Every brand new car has breakdown cover. This means no roadside repair bills for your contract hire car! | |
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I expose HIDDEN UK Car Sales Fig's make-by-make! See the sales stats the car industry hides! |
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Who is Jeremy Clarkson? I exterminate! I test drive cars myself to give you idea of quality and speed. Who needs Top Gear when you have Chop Gear? Hahaha! |
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 Play my briliant motoring quiz! |
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Compare the daily cost of your prospective car to a packet of cigs. Easily work out the REAL cost of your new contract hire car! COOL! | |
